A Study In Immortality

In Littered Dreams We Sleep

Twilight awoke from her dream with a loud gasp, as she jolted upright in her plush bed. She looked around her large bedroom in a panic, taking large gulps of air as she attempted to calm her breathing. After a moment, she realized that her freight had been caused by nothing more than a dream, and she gave a long, shaky sigh. Nothing more than a trick of her imagination.

The purple alicorn looked to her pair of large pair of French doors, which she had kept open before she went to sleep. Crisp, cool air blew inside of her room, cooling her fur, which had become damp with sweat. Dim moonlight shone onto the floor of her room, putting the rest of her room in an ominous light. After composing herself, Twilight sighed through her nose, and climbed out of her bed. She looked around her bedroom. Even after all this time here - it still seemed odd to have such a large room. Her one at Ponyville hadn't even been half of the size of the one in the castle. Slowly, Twilight walked over to he set of open doors, which lead out to her own personal balcony, bare hooves clicking quietly on the cold marble floors as she did so.

As she walked outside, a gust of chilly air blew through her lavender coat and violet mane. Her plum colored eyes shone softly in the gentle moonlight as she looked out to the beautiful view she had on her balcony. From there - she could look out onto practically all of Canterlot. Although it was quite late - she could tell because of how high the moon was still in the night sky - the city still shone brightly with stunning lights. The city's night life never sleeps . . . She thought to herself. Twilight looked up to the glimmering night sky, gazing at the stars that surrounded Luna's moon. She smiled to herself - taking comfort in the many constellations she recognized - which was nearly all of them. She recalled studying the stars vigorously back in Ponyville - reading books on the appearance of them, what each one was called, even what separate stars made them up. The subject had always fascinated her . . .

A ping of sadness came over her. Oh - how many years had passed since those times - where she would study in her library or be with her friends . . . How long had it been? 20 years? 200? She had lost count - for it brought great sorrow upon the princess whenever she thought of her old life, back in Ponyville. Another cool breath of wind came, ruffling the soft purple feathers of her wings. She sighed. I don't know where they lay now . . . But wherever they are now, I hope they're happy . . . She thought to herself. With one final glance at the view in front of her - Twilight turned and headed back into the castle.

Twilight looked about her dark room. She knew quite well that she would not be falling back into sleep's comfortable arms again that evening. Her nightmare still taunted her in the back of her mind - and she swore that every time she closed her eyes, visions of her Ponyville friends etched themselves into her mind, forcing her to see them, whether she liked it or not. The princess shuddered. She knew only one pony that could ever help her to take her mind off of her wretched dreams. And that was the mare that shared those same devils.

The purple alicorn poked her head out of her door, looking up and down the halls. A few royal guards patrolled the long corridor - both Celestia's, Luna's, and even her own, which had glimmering silver armor, with purple marks resembling her cutie mark on their chests. One of the guards looked over, hearing the soft creaking of her door, but only stopped to bow before returning to his patrol. All of the guards were rather used to Twilight's late-night strolls at this point, as they occurred more than often. Twilight stepped out of her room, horn glowing a dim purple as she shut her door behind her, and then she began her walk.

The halls were always quiet at night - besides the occasional click of the guard's hooves on the marble floors. Now, the sound of her own hooves sounded like thunder booming in her ears. She looked around the halls as she walked along - the occasional torch providing a pool of light in the dark corridors. Twilight made her way through the maze  that was the castle's halls, and arrived at the throne room. A set of two solid doors - towering at least four times the full-grown alicorn's height - stood in her way. The door to the right had designs of stars and constellations, and a large moon was in the center. The right door had a large golden sun on it, with a shining sky and plump clouds surrounding it. Two lunar guards stood at either side of the entrance, and both of their gold colored eyes looked at Twilight. The two guards bowed low.

"Is all well, princess?" Asked one of the guards as they stood. Twilight forced on a smile.

"Yes - of course. I just need to speak with Luna." The two guards nodded again, before opening the set of doors for the other princess to enter.

The throne room was as dark as the rest of the castle was at this time, give for the few torches that clung to the walls, glowing a navy blue. Little moonlight was able to make its way inside, and past the stained glass of the windows, and so it took Twilight's eyes a brief moment to adjust to the light of the room. When they did - she saw Princess Luna, who occupied the throne at the end of a trail of rose fabric on the floor. Celestia was usually the pony who sat upon the throne - though at night - Luna took her post. The dark mare looked over to Twilight, and gave a smile. The purple alicorn smiled back and began to walk towards Luna, doors closing behind her.

"Twilight Sparkle. I assume your business here is the same as always?" Twilight's smile faded slightly, and she gave a nod. Luna frowned. "That is what I hoped you would not say. What was it this time?" Twilight had walked up to the throne, now, and stood at it's base. She sighed, and looked away.

"Ponyville...." She murmered. "I swear - every time I close my eyes, now, I see them. Rainbow Dash, Apple Jack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie..." Her voice trailed off. After all these years... And it still pains me to talk about them... She thought to herself.

"I see..." Said Luna. Her voice was trailed with concern. "And the medicine the court physician has been giving you?"

"I have been using it every night - it helped in the beginning a little bit, I guess. But it's become less and less effective..." Twilight sighed again. It was true - the past few weeks she's been getting so little sleep due to her nightmares, it's become difficult for her to preform her duties with Celestia during the day without nearly dozing off. "I don't know, Luna. Maybe there's nothing we can do to stop these nightmares..."

"Now, Twilight," Luna began, standing from the throne and walking beside Twilight. She wrapped a wing around the purple mare, and pulled her close. "You have never been one to give up, and you most certainly should not start now." She smiled gently down to Twilight, who returned the gesture. "I assure you - we will find a way to help you deal with your dreams - whether it is by magic or natural means - we will do something." Luna nuzzled Twilight.

"Thank you, Luna..." Twilight said with a light smile.

"Of course, Twilight. Anything to help a friend and fellow princess." Twilight bit her lip, and ducked away from Luna's wing, before walking over to one of the windows of stained glass. Luna followed behind her, and they both looked over the image. It was of Twilight - flying upwards with her wings, which had been new at the time, and her crown upon her head. Suddenly, Twilight had a though - one that had not crossed her for some time. "What if..." Luna looked over to her.

"What if what?"

"What if.... What if I had never become an alicorn? A princess?" Twilight asked in nothing more than a whisper. Her eyes looked over to another window of stained glass, this one bearing the image of her and her old Ponyville friends using The Elements Of Harmony to lock away Discord in his stone prison. She bit her lip. "I mean... I would be with my friends, now. I wouldn't have had to see them...." I wouldn't have had to watch them die. She thought to herself.

"That is true... And that is something that all of us wanted, and still do want, at times." Twilight looked back to Luna, confused.

"What do you wish you had had?"

"A choice, Twilight. A choice to become an alicorn or not." The princess looked away. "Celestia and I - having been born as alicorns - had no say in our fate in becoming this. But you, Twilight... You could have had a choice." Twilight blinked. She had never heard the princess talk like this... Wait.

"I could have had a choice? What do you mean?" Twilight asked, slightly puzzled. "I thought it was my destiny to become an alicorn. To become a princess!" Thoughts swam in her head. **Had* I been given the choice? What could I have done differently?* Luna sighed, and looked to the confused Twilight.

"I swear to you, Twilight - I had begged my sister to give you the chance to decide for yourself, I honestly did try!" Twilight stomped her hoof on the floor, silencing Luna. Her head was down, mane hanging in her face. It was *Celestia's** fault?*

"You mean that.... Celestia could have asked me, first?" Her voice was shaking. Why hadn't she *asked** me?!* Luna gave a small nod.

"Yes... Twilight.... She could have....but, she had her-"

"I don't care why she didn't ask me. She had the chance to allow me to chose unlike both of you! Why wouldn't she-" Luna's horn glowed a navy blue, and her magic enveloped Twilight, putting her to sleep. The dark mare let Twilight's sleeping body lean up against her, as to not let her fall. She sighed, regretting telling the poor purple pony.

"I am sorry, Twilight..." She cooed. "You are not the only one who sleeps in littered dreams..." She looked up to the stained glass window of Twilight becoming an alicorn. "In littered dreams we sleep...."