Fallout Equestria: "Best Laid Plans"

Chapter One: Barfight

“Here I thought we were friends. Now you have a gun in my face. Bad form, Ms. Chase. Bad form.”

There came an era when the ideals of friendship gave way to greed, selfishness, paranoia and a jealous reaping of dwindling space and natural resources.  Lands took up arms against their neighbors.   The end of the world occurred much as we had predicted -- the world was plunged into an abyss of balefire and dark magic.  The details are trivial and pointless. The reasons, as always, purely our own.  The world was nearly wiped clean of life.  A great cleansing; a magical spark struck by pony hooves quickly raged out of control.  Megaspells rained from the skies.  Entire lands were swallowed in flames and fell beneath the boiling oceans...

… but it was not, as some had predicted, the end of the world.  Instead, the apocalypse was simply the prologue for a bloody chapter in pony history. This is a chapter from that history, told from the three ponies that experienced it firsthand.

Wanna’ hear a story?

… Okay, so a doctor, a thief and a pyromaniac walk into a bar. The bartender shrugs his shoulders.

Is this supposed to be some sort of joke?

Blue Wire sat in The Soggy Plow, sipping on whiskey. Swirls of smoke filled the air. It was by far the best bar he had ever laid his eyes on in a long time. It would have been perfect if not for the loud and rambunctious crowd that had formed in the corner.

Several patrons were gathered around something that was so amazing, they could only express their joy by screaming obscenities. As long as they kept to themselves, Wire had no concern for it. The only thing that mattered was this drink and the exquisite drug currently making it`s way though his blood steam.

It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket made of clouds and sunshine. All the pain and strain from his workday faded away.

No longer was he being yelled at by a stuck up mail pony for bringing packages with extra holes than they had started out with. No guards either to harass the smaller pony for being too short to put said package in its proper slot in the mail room. Just bliss. It could never last...

It was around that time when the joy that filled the air was replaced by the sounds of anger... and a table. Wire wasn’t sure who swung first; all that mattered was the black mare with fire in her eyes that had started to end it.

It was almost as if the patrons had been waiting for a piece of her flank.

With little effort, she took on the hoard that was clambering for her, screaming profanity that would have a pony made of weaker stuff cry. Wire decided that the smartest thing to do would be to run out of the bar as quick as his little hooves could pull him.

Instead he wound up diving behind the bar and out of the way of a wayward flying table. A fight was going on and the barkeep running for help, he decided a bit of a taste test could be arranged. The private stash under the bar made his “high class” whisky taste like rain water that had been collecting in a bucket full of refuse by comparison.

The smoke that had given the bar a nice atmosphere had turned thick. Since small peeks at the action had never killed him before, Wire chanced a look.

Some ponies claim that fire is alive, that it can hunt you down and take everything from you. Wire knew that old saying was true the second he saw the living mare-inferno on the other side of the room. She looked as if she and the fire were one. Wire promised himself that no matter how hard times got, he would never work with somepony that insane.

The smell of burnt fur began to make its way behind the bar. It was enough to make little pony gag, almost losing the expensive liquor that he had been chugging. The room was getting hotter, and not from the booze.

Wire reached a hoof over the bar and grabbed his bag of “supplies” so as not to add to the damage being done. One misplaced ember or a shot from that flamer

and this once lovely bar would be a crater turned tomb for Wire. Something caught the attention of his ear.

”I told you caps before healing!”

*Crack*

“You wouldn`t mind paying extra to be healed for this would you?”

*Crick*

Heading for the backdoor Wire caught sight of a medic trying to make a few quick caps. He had a red coat and that made it hard to tell if it was his fur or the blood of his current patient`s. Maybe somepony had refused to cooperate? Either way, his new hope of wanting to slip out the back had been dashed.

It was then he noticed the silence. It would take a bit more than a literal fire-fight and some Applejack to dull his sharp senses to that point. To the best of his ability Wire figured the sudden lull was from a lack of screaming on the part of the fighters. As good a guess as any.

Glancing through a newly formed hole in the front of the bar, Wire noticed the doors of the bar had swung wide open with an intense light streaming in.

Like something from an old holotape he’d seen back home. Bandits had taken a bank and the police had wanted them to turn themselves in. He forgot the little bits in the middle, but he knew exactly how it ended. With everypony dead.

It was time to collect a few reparations for having his night off ruined. Grabbing a strip of metal out of his pack and slipping it on his hoof, Wire brought the hoof-file up to his mouth and clamped down on it with his front incisors before making his way to the register. Ignoring everything else, expert eyes homed-in on the easy to miss false panel on the floor.

Jamming his file and a strip of metal into the lock the small pony jimmied and listened.

 It was all about pushing the tumblers into place, really, and the calm that Med-X gave him was enough to ignore entire Equestria. It was just him, his tools and the tumblers.

*click*

… and that was all he needed to hear. Once open, a small smile crept across his muzzle. Inside, there were at least seventy caps in a small bag, a vintage bottle of Berry Punch Reserve and last, more important than anything else, a piece of Sonic Rainboom Chew!

Nothing in the wastes had ever come close to the feeling that it had given him so long ago. Just a simple block of gum cut with Dash and Stampede, and infused with Med-X. Luna only knows who it was marketed to before the war, but all he knew was that it was amazing.

If Wire could shove all his caps into a box, mail it somepony and get a case in return, he’d do it in ten seconds flat. But now wasn’t the time to savor it.

Now was a time for action, and doing what he did best. Distract, divide, and duck. He spotted a bottle of ammonia, most likely used for cleaning up after a hard night of drinking. Wire put a glass on the ground and poured a shots worth of the fluids into it.

His last bit of hydrochloric acid was then dumped into the glass and then mixed into the bottle of ammonia.

Then it was time to pray that the makeshift bathroom towards the side of the bar was not being used as a refuge right now.

The black smoke from the fire was covering the area from the roof, until it escaped out the many holes in the walls. But the new white smoke was heavy. Funny how things work like that, Wire mused to himself while holding his breath for all he was worth. The small pony manged to squeeze through the opening in the back room where no pony with half a brain would bother pursuing him.

Outside the bar could have almost been described as nice. The sounds from inside were muffeld. If it wasn’t for the crowd that had gather outside, it looked like any normal night. Wire made his way away from the bar as much as his body would let him. The world was blurry and slanted; at least to him anyway.

Too much liquor. Wire had to sit, or he would be splayed out in the middle of the street, ready to be attacked, or worse. He had his forehooves on the bench when he realized something was up.

“Stop right there, criminal scum!”

Wire, in his new drunken and tired haze hadn’t noticed the three guards come up behind him.

“I’m sorry problem, is there an officer?” Wire said as innocently as he could, fumbling over the words with a slur.

They looked angry and annoyed. One of them had a baton levitating beside him, ready to use it to it’s full extent.

“That was a nice move back there you know. The whole crazy deadly smoke screen. Looting the bar for all its worth. And it might have worked out had you not left a trail of powder all the way to you hooves.”

Sometimes ponies say I’m not clever. It’s not that way at all. I’m far to clever for my own good. I’m one hundred percent positive that I will need thirteen pounds of black powder. Never know when there will be a situation that needs some dealing with. But that cleverness had been my undoing, leading the very people I wanted to avoid in the first place right to my safe spot. So yeah, next time, use a bit more boom, and bit less flair.

At some point in escaping the bar, his pack got caught on a jagged strip of steel and tore a hole on the pocket on the pack that held his powder. A nice thin trail leading all the way back to him.

The largest of the guards took Wires pack, while the other two put a shackle around his neck. Given that he was smaller than the sort they usually put in them, it was very loose. The guards made sure to be as rough as they possibly could to counteract that flaw in the design. He was about to say something with the air of “you treat all the stallions you try to mount this well,” but he was stopped by the towering stallion.

“Before you start yappin, they done told us that if you get out of line, we can smack you with our beatin sticks... so you had best think before you talk.” The largest guard said to Wire, who had decided his name should not be Tender Flank but instead Big McLarge-Huge.

“Well, I have one question, do you ever think before you speak?” Wire said to guard, a tone of anger in his voice, As promised, beating sticks were applied directly to his flank and forehead. This might have been laughable had his Med-X not decided now was the time to stop affecting him. McLarge-Huge was very excited to use his Celestia given talent of all brawn and no brain to its fullest.

“Yeah, take him in. The boss may have found a solution t-”

As the last of his Med-X wore off, he missed what they said. If he had any cognitive abilities left he would have guessed this wasn’t good. As he drifted off to blackness, his only thoughts were his need for some good drugs, and the pain that awaited him when he came to.

"It’s in my back pocket!"

Facing the backdoor of The Soggy Plow and grasping at a broken hoof, Romeo levitated out a bag of caps from his newly acquired patient. Then a piece of wood for him to bite on was levitated forward and forced inside the bar patron`s mouth.

"Shh, shh, shh tonight is just another night you see, and this is going to happen again and again and again and..." The doctor said, soothing the buck as he positioned himself properly so he could..

*Craaack*

Mending bones without sedation always led to these incredible screams. A form of music not many ponies inside this fortress would be listening in on.

Here he sat in the servants entrance with a makeshift table and a steady queue of ponies to heal. Romeo felt that this night would bear fruit.

"Please?" Those begging, tear filled eyes from recent pain were like an art to him. It was the only form of honest expression you could ever get.

"I charge extra for bandages Darling, try not to get it broken again."

"Is no fair, that strength of his. High Tower just whisked by me and my hoof was broken."

"Sugar bomb?" The doctor offered as the buck was being patched up, but then he ate what had been presented himself before a proper answer could be given. The doctor felt like he had to get busy, broken bones amongst the first customers meant his favorite customer, the star attraction for wannabe tough guys and bouncer of The Soggy Plow, had taken his chem`s early.

Over a year in this hallway and inside this bar, had earned him a ton of caps, but it was still not even close to enough caps for the price he had set his sights on. Until then it was just him, a medic licence, and DJ Pon-3, the radio mostly serving as background noise.

"Romeo!" A mare shoved half the crowd aside with a beastly rage in her eyes. Her face and chest had been burnt badly but the mare refused regular healing. "Stampede. Heard from Bones you supply."

"He must also have told you that the price is 250 caps." Delightful currency dangled in Romeo`s saddlebags soon after.

" Fuck me with the moon. Newcomer will regret not playing fair." She huffed with anticipation as the needle entered her hoof drawing with it a pinch of blood.

Having done the deed. Romeo watched the mare as her eyes began growing bloodshot and her muscles flexing involuntary. She left howling for vengeance and nobody complained about her sneaking in the queue.

"Butch! my favorite customer. How can I help you today?" Romeo cheered as his next client entered. A brass shoe, black leather wearing misfit with Trouble as his middle name. Except today he was carrying two bucks with second degree burns, their mane`s still smoldering.

"The tunnel flanks are pulling out early today, our hair gel being flammable and all. But before we leave, I would also quite like to buy a health potion for each of my saviors. My hair exists today at the cost of their own."

"That will be 100 caps." This aspect of hair fascination was beyond ridicule at this point. Nicknames such as Tunnel Brushies or Hairflanks had become known to him by hearsay. The doctor heard Butch leave behind him. The two others dragged their feet behind him, obviously not satisfied with the result of their sacrifice.

The crowd was dwindling down, unnoticeable injuries, were for the most part, cured by overpriced potions and unicorn magic. The cheapest ways to scam caps out of people while still technically following his Hippocratic oath. Now that everypony had been taken care of, he ventured forth into the bar. Eager to see how this night`s war had ended.

"You`re welcome for the patients Doc." A mess of a mare presented herself before crumbling into consciousness. The only thing that appeared undamaged was gas mask that hung from her neck. She had no visible fractures and she seemed built to withstand this sort of punishment. On the other hoof, her scent was awful compared to other ponies.

Security had arrived some moments ago, near spotless uniforms armed with a penchant for authority and armed with batons. Lights flashing into his eyes as one of them trotted over to greet him with a sleek and commanding voice. "Hello, Doctor."

Romeo knew this pony by his vocal tunes alone. "Charger, how great to see that you took time off to chat with me! Sugar bomb?" The doctor offered, but ate it again. Everypony refused anyhow but it would be impolite to not at least ask.

"That will be Chief Charger for you, civilian. Take him outside. If he talks to anypony, beat him up and report that he resisted arrest."

Romeo`s head and body ached. The usual reaction one might expect from baton applied to face and body. The room was small, boxlike and only lit up with a single lamp. There was just enough light here to reveal brown walls that had obviously been white some centuries ago. The floor had a softness to it, a rubber floor.

“This is no way to treat innocent ponies,” Romeo slammed his hoof into the locked metal door after trying it multiple times. A significant Clang lingered in the air. Not soon after he had calmed down was the door opened.

“What?” Barely able to voice his complaints as he was dragged off and urged on with batons. These cruel ponies where pushing him around. He had rights! They shoved him into another room that was fairly similar to the cell he had just been inside save for a single table. “Come. Sit.”

“What is with this monotone white and steel?” Romeo finally inquired as he sat down.

 “Hello Doctor Romeo. If that is your real name.”

“What in the name of our goddesses are you doing Charger? I am innocent and didn't cause trouble. Your men knocked me out, hurt me and then put me here. What for?” Feeling the pain from baton massage on his rear end the doctor shifted his weight uncomfortably.

“We found traces of stampede on a certain mare and there are only two ponies here who would be stupid enough to sell drugs in our town.”

“Search me.” Romeo bluffed, it would be impossible to prove that mixing what he had inside his pockets would produce stampede without knowing the recipe and he was the only one present in town that knew it.

“Bandaid has had enough of you stealing his patients, Grape seems to think that the violence in her bar will stop if the medical aid to keep it up vanishes and the city council has requested you take your practice elsewhere. Somewhere it is actually needed. Now they all gathered round and figured you might need some incentive to leave. I told them we could just kick you out, but the Mayor insisted. Your ass is going out either way so that means either my way or you accept their deal and get rewarded for it. Sound fair?"

“Compared with being tossed into the wasteland with nothing, yes. What is this reward?”

“We know you have been droolin’ for one of our most profitable ventures. We do have a limited supply of the Pipbuck 3000s and because of high demand, the price is equally so. They have agreed to part with one if you help us. We are goin’ to put some of the more troublesome wanderers that came here to work and we wouldn't want to send em off without a chance at reaching the finish line... let alone a compass so they can get proper directions.”

“I would like a stealth-buck too. If you are going to group me with these lovely ponies, I want a safe way out of the snake pit you lot seem intent on tossing me into and I want to be present when you talk this over with them. Their reactions are important to me.”

“Yes, that should be something I can arrange.”

“How many are there?”

“Not many at start, we just now have two prospects that fit the bill. A thief and this odd mare with an interest in fire.” Clapping his hooves together the Pegasus swiftly turned to face one of the guards on Romeo`s side. “Have Raisin wake the thief bring him here then check on the mare.”

“While we wait, come over to my side of the table, this is yours.” Charger lifted and opened a small briefcase. Inside was his price for taking on the mission. A Pipbuck 3000, complete with an intact manual.

Distracted with his reward time flied back quick. It was not long before the guards returned with the first prospect. A small frame of dirty blonde with dull, grey, unkempt mane complete with an interesting blue streak to it.

“Sit.” They forced him to comply, using their batons just like with Romeo.

"Anything else? Fetch a paper, grab your slippers?” The small pony barked, a faux smile on his face.

It was easy to read into it and assume his expression was one of anger but that was not something Romeo would be interested in.

The security chief intruded with a loud introduction. “Good morning I am Chief Charger, had a great night’s sleep here at our expense I assume?”

"Its no Tenpony, but I managed to survive. Room service leaves something to be desired. The wake up calls I could do without...” Obvious sarcasm on both of their parts.

“We woke you up because it is time to decide the fate of a thief that got himself caught. You see here in Friendship City we tend to broker deals with... Individuals such as yourself rather than just strip you of all gear and leave you to rot. Sounds good so far?”

"Oh boy, y’all really took out all the stops huh, wouldn't mommy be proud... you know... if she was still around..." The thief boldly replied.

 Charger having little patience for what the colt was doing and quick to anger began flexing his jaw muscle`s. “If you refuse we will throw you out. If you abandon the job halfway we will put a bounty on you. So just say yes.”

'I’m a courier by trade, I'm gonna need more than that to go on..." The pair was taken aback by such a reasonable request, frowning the security chief clopped his hooves together and sent Ensign Raisin out to fetch some bottles of water. He had a feeling this might take awhile.

"Let me guess, the upholder of the oath of healing is this con-colt right here..."

Romeo grinned as if he had discovered a great joke but took pleasure in keeping it for himself. There was just no other way of dealing with this kind of flattery. “I will also be in possession of the only reliable form of navigation. Welcome to the team mr.?..”

“Call me Wire. Oh, Chuckles and captain Close Call, before I do anything for you or your corrupt little council, I've got a list of things you will give me along with my gear. Keep in mind I've never lost a package before..."

“Make your demands. We will see what we can do and I am Chief Charger, Captain is a whole rank below. The reason I have to speak with you is because only I possess the authority to grant you anything.” The security chief seemed to have abandoned feeling insulted or annoyed by now and that seemed to bother the thief.

"My list is composed of things that will make your head hurt. Hurt worse than mine. And you don't want that Chief."

The door opened and several flasks of water now decorated the table, Charger picked one up and drank in peace while ignoring the two of them. Having slaked his thirst the chief looked visibly happy again. “I don't really care what is on the list, so long as it is within reason. I am not in the habit of handing out gifts.”

Romeo picked up one of the bottles with clean water to drink. It was hard to not start becoming optimistic. He hoped that maybe it would not end up as expected after all. Wire seemed reasonable, if only in a grumpy sarcastic sort of way but that could be attributed to him not being a morning person or the rough treatment. Maybe he would be nicer as the day progressed or start cracking jokes before bedtime.

"So, how many other charity cases are you sending to their deaths? Such a noble stallion you are..." Wire asked after a quick sip of water.

“That depends on how many say ye-” Romeo replied with some haste but the pegasi intervened.

“One more after you. That makes three. Two criminals and a doctor. You will be escorting this buck to a place where he can serve a purpose rather than drain us of caps.” His tune carried with it hatred for freeloading.

"I want forty-two does of Med-X. Four pounds of trinitrotoluene. Hoof-picked 40mm, both H.E and conventional. A repair kit for my launcher, and you can fill up my bandoleer with grenades. Oh, a block of C4 with a detonator. Anything else, I will find in your market. This is me being reasonable. You wrong me, and you might find your little city down in the ocean come my return..."

“Addiction!” Romeo rose, pointing at the thief with a stern look.

“Grenades and a rifle repair kit, some explosive charges and stuff. Well, I can tell you that the Med-X is not within reason. We can cure you of your addiction however and save you the trouble. Maybe offer some as a reward for jobs well done later down the line. Sound good?”

"You will make it within reason Capt- Chief! Or you will never see me, or the prize you seek ever again! Gear... or not..."

Grimacing Charger calculated while shaking his head as if denying that he would even consider bowing down for such demands.

“I am sure Romeo here can figure something out. You might find that the hospital we want to send you towards contain quantities of what you seek.”

"Would said doctor want to be blown to bits just because I cant keep a steady hoof?! Tell me Romeo Is your life worth more than 2,237 caps?! ...30 Med-X or we might all go to pieces in more way than one way..."

Romeo pulled out a sugar-bomb from his pocket before leaning towards Wire from his side of the table. The doctor`s expression carried with it some form of serious undertone even if he suckled on candy. “The way I see it. I need to know when the last time you where clean from that drug was. I have my own stash of Med-X. A Ministry of Peace box with four rows of eight. To not waste it I would still want to flush your system first.”

“Don’t talk down to me... don’t ever talk down to me with that silver tongue... I was never clean... I’ve always been on it. But if it means you will allow me to take it on this quest... I will... I will undergo your treatment doctor.”

Charger on the other hoof had no interest in their little agreement. “Escort him back and fetch the mare. Your gear will be stored with me for the duration of your stay.” The Pegasus pony waved a hoof, dismissing the meeting.

“I look forward to our next meeting Wire!” Romeo said before returning to admire the Pipbuck. “Now if I can only find the button that turns on the radio.”

The door opened again and a fairly unique mare entered. She still reeked of fire and brimstone, hopefully this would not end up in the entire room being lit ablaze. The guards where a tad extra careful with what they did so as to not piss her off.

“Please have a seat.”

“Hey, not so damn loud.” She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “Ugh, that is one hell of a hangover.”

Charger opened his mouth and was about to speak before she put up a hoof and stopped him.

“And before you say anything, where the fuck is my lighter?”

“Its with the rest of your gear. Now can we get this show moving? The sooner you cooperate the sooner you get everything back right?” Charger retorted with ease.

“Oh hello! I recognise you from the bar. Never got your name.” Romeo exclaimed before biting down on a levitating sugar-bomb he had brought up from his coat.

“Scorch. My name’s Scorch.” She shifted her gaze from Romeo to Charger. “Just get to the point already, the sooner I get my stuff back the less likely you are to lose some hair.” She sounded, and looked, very grumpy. She was obviously not a morning pony.

“Well, well, well. It looks like we both wish to keep this brief. Nice. I am Chief Charger, representing the City council and I lead its security. You started a bar brawl, and we do not tolerate troublemakers.

“The way we solve this is that you agree to team up with two other troublemakers and go on a mission for us. There will be a substantial reward of your choosing. You will get to do some last minute shopping and you get excused for your little outburst.”

“As long as I get my gear back, I’ll do whatever the hell you want.”

“Sounds reasonable, just refrain from discharging fire of any kind inside Friendship City. You will be escorted by Ensign Raisin here, he knows where your gear is. Please do not try to run away from your individual Security escorts.”

“Welcome to the team. Ill be your navigator and personal doctor. You can call me Romeo or Doctor or invent your own nickname, Ill be fine either way.” Romeo mumbled, gleefully fiddling with his newly acquired Pipbuck. “Gonna need help attaching this properly to my foreleg and cure your other teammate of his addiction to Med-X before we take our leave.”

“A little advice for your boys, they touch me and I am not accountable for what happens to them.”

“Great, find ensign Raisin. Escort them out and then about. They can go do some last minute shopping but first the thief will spend some time in Detox. Let me remind you to not run from your escorts, we have Ministry cameras in abundance to trace all movement in friendship city and should you abandon the mission we will put a bounty on your head. Oh, and have a GREAT DAY!” Then the Charger vanished out the door.

“Have a seat.”

Romeo nickered towards the large table, filled with different machines and muzzles. It was surprisingly clean compared with the rest of the room. Meanwhile he had picked up a small jar of green go. Looking at his pipbuck to see if it functioned properly.

“Welcome to my office by the way. It is not often I drag patients over here. They tend to prefer Bandaid for the more extensive treatments. Probably has to do with his nurses. They help uplift his image as an actual doctor considerably.”

“Look at my face, do I look like a pony that cares?” the thief seethed, the withdrawal starting to affect him badly.

“Do have a seat, Would you like a pillow on the hard steel? It tends to help with comfort during the initial procedure. Though you will hardly be awake for most of it. First time I treat a professional Med-X addict. They tend to die after a few years due to overdose or lack of supplies to keep them going.

Romeo began moving a few larger steel crates with his magic. Opening one the doctor levitated out another sugar bomb for himself to chew on. “Want one?”

“No, I heard that stuff could kill you... What else are you about to do, cause I’ve seen flushes before, they didn’t need all this fluff?” The thief looked nervous and took testing steps around the small office. Eyeing the machine suspiciously.

 “We, wont be using everything. Goddesses no. Just the stability harness so your body wont trash about during the procedure and the third mouthpiece on the left for sedatives. You mentioned it before that your hooves are unstable, would you trust them with the handling of explosives after a Detox?” He snickered while suckling on his third sugar-bomb.

“Doc, when you are around the stuff I’m around on a daily basis, a little peace of mind makes all the difference. One little tremor and I can send this whole room to another area of the city... Could you live with that?”

“Oooh, so its more of a mental thing? Your hooves are fine but your mind is unstable? Do have a seat so we can get this over with.” Lost in thought he adjusted the white coat. “I can live with that, Question is rather. Could you? Do you want new hooves?”

“Oh you just happen to have some hooves lying about do you? Yeah slap em on. While your at it, make my eyes a lovely shade of green. And then you can make me normal pony sized while you at it... There’s nothing wrong with my taste in fine wine, and fine chems...” Wishing his words were daggers that could impale the doctor onto the wall like a trophy.

“Well, I think the green eyes can be done at a later date. You want the pillow?” Romeo levitated a small pink pillow for Wire to see. “Either that or cold steel.”

“Fuck you and your pillow! The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can go.”

“No pillow then.” The medical pony easily adjusted the harness to fit Wire`s smaller size levitating up the mouthpiece once everything was in order. “Just breathe normally into this, then you should be asleep in a matter of minutes. How about a story to pass time?”

“If you say once upon a time, I will come out of this thing and deck you...” The thief obeyed doctor`s orders but waited for a few moments in the hopes that Romeo would fall for such a simple provocation.

“In the wasteland there was once a travelling doctor. She travelled far and wide to cure the sick and help the old yet still managed to birth two foals. Two gifted brothers. Because a Doctor`s life is busy they were mostly left in the care of others but with age their curiosity grew. On a hunt for treasures of the old world the pair managed falling into a hole.”

His voice that usually held high speeds, smeared thick with overly cheerful enthusiasm slowed down significantly as if the door of emotion had packed its bags, leaving for the night. Lingering upon every other sentence with a monotone expression.

“More like a pit.”

“When the youngest rose from this terrible fall, catching his bearings back. Quickly finding that the older brother was lying there besides him. It was established to his best knowledge that he was still breathing and had a heartbeat..”

“Repeated attempts to wake the older brother failed, he stopped trying when the method`s used began bordering abuse. When he finally gathered his mind the youngest noticed how lucky he had been. He had fallen on softer ground, the other had met rock at every turn. Still inexperienced and not much of a unicorn the youngest had no chance at healing anything.”

“So he instead tried climbing the pit for help. Needless to say it was in vain.”

“He spent... weeks surviving in that place before a roaming hunter found him.”

The blonde buck had fallen asleep some time ago, with no no interest in the story adding effective sedatives hardly helped the situation. “The hardest part of the whole ordeal was sharing my brother...”

Wire finaly awoke some time later, the procedure having been finished.

“Right, be just a minute now and your new hooves should be attached properly. Bone setting is my speciality. Are you comfortable?”

“Mhat. Arf. Hou. Fo... Foimg.”

“Well I told you the machine is capable of more than one thing, this is at your own request if you do recall. The green eyes and extra size though requires more than I have available to me.” Romeo snickered and another sugar-bomb levitated into his mouth. “Want one?” He asked, removing the mouthpiece and untying the harness. “You are lucky. Had a spare set of hooves just your size. Hope you like white.”

Wire pulled his hooves forward. White, they were indeed a very pristine white. No words. No sarcasm, or silly jokes. Just a blank, dumbfounded face.

“The coldness will go away within a day or two. Sometimes takes a week but there should be no cognitive faults. Free of charge, Must say I am rather pleased with the result. A veritable charity factory. Lets get going, take some steps and try them out.” Romeo was very pleased with himself.

“...you.. you... I want to go... far away. Now.”

“Silly pony, you cant go far away. I’m the guide for your mission.” With that he washed his hooves and fetched his own saddlebags. They where white and yellow, bearing the MoP insignia of three butterflies.

“Got your box of Med-X for later. For now you should get used to moving around without. Doubt Scorch has the patience to wait for much longer. How are you doing? New hooves feel great don't they?”

“I... I need to go to the bathroom. But not here. Never here. No.”

“Suit yourself.” Impatiently Romeo trotted out the door. Stopping only for a second to smile cheerfully at Wire. “Lets get going then.”

Two Guards awaited them outside escorting both of them towards the marketplace, and a third soon joined them. Scorch had been allowed to fetch her gear, Romeo couldn't help imagine roasted ponies just by looking at the flamer battlesaddle.

“Time for some shopping. We are going to need supplies. You have any favourite foods?”

“Whiskey.” Scorch spoke up, her mind elsewhere.

“Die in a fire...” Wire said quietly.

“Okay, You both sure you don't have any preferences in solid foods? I would hate to buy meat only to find out that there are vegetarian`s is in our midst’s.”

“...” An eerie silence is all that comes out between the two trouble makers.

“Want one? Wont get any if you don't speak up.” Levitating up another sugar-bomb doctor Romeo asked Wire inquisitively, turning his head ever so slight with his cheerful twisted form of smiling.

“Let me see the box of Med-X.” The thief didn’t look like he had good intentions.

“Its on the bottom of my saddlebag and would take forever to dig out. Just take comfort in that as a Doctor. I always speak the truth.” He then ate the sugar-bomb that was intended for Wire. “If you don't want any, just say so.” Figuring the guardsmen might want to get this done with Romeo began tapping his hooves impatiently then began trotting forward but eventually halted. “Coming?”

“Yeah, I’m comin’, no need to be so pushy.” The yellow mare sounded off.

“Sorry, my mind tends to jump at things. Goes with being a doctor and all. I just prefer not to let my intellect wander and try to keep up with the pace it demands. Unless you want me to start telling stories, reminisce about past traumatising events, become annoyingly inquisitive, ask uncomfortable things. Most ponies tend to start shying away or grow resentful eventually. I do have to say this entire event is rather uncomfortable given the circumstances of our sudden union and i tend to become quite talkative when I am uncomfortable. Life is really such an amazing thing and I would prefer to keep it that way.”

Romeo finally stopped his ramblings, taking a sip of his canteen.

“Before you spew out your life story, do you ever just shut up?” Scorch stated

“You know what doc, you’re right! Wow life seams so amazing! I’ve got a grand idea, how about you go and buy all the boxes of those sugar ball fun fucks or whatever, and meet us back here in an hour, then we can all get off on the right hoof. Come on... yellow pony lady.” A look of genuine pleasure across his face.

“I think I saw a few boxes of those things back by that mare with the little stall.” The pyro pony spouted.

“Our group will need solid foods for the journey, the mission is probably going to take weeks and so we will need to split it up, then ration it. Do you two have spare room for some in your saddlebags? Medical supplies tend to take space.”

“Nope, that’s reserved for the booze.”

“Um... I have... tons! Tons of room for things.” The newly exuberant thief exclaimed.

“Great. Then I will take with me one of these security fellows to help me gather some foodstuffs that you will in turn put inside your saddlebags. So don't fill them up with too much stuff, OK?” Romeo for a moment there intruded on Wire`s personal space. His overly optimistic face uncomfortably close and their eyes locked in conflict to see who would look away first.

“Sure thing buddy!” putting one of his terribly transformed forehooves on Romeo cheek, guiding it away. “You can count on me! Go team!” With that said the thief began meandering down the hallway, still completely enraged by the whole ordeal but hiding it well.

Romeo watched his patient go, wondering what had gotten into the foal. Clearly his intrusions on the bucks sanity and life was not quite turning out how he had expected. “Sure thing.” was his thoughtful reply, copying Wire`s words while wondering what had brought about the change in behaviour.

Oats would have to suffice for main diet. Romeo would need space to make room for outdoor herbs, weeks in the field meant you would eventually run out of supplies. Hopefully the pair would not moan at the time it would take gathering them if they found some.

Hopefully he had not just made Wire suicidal, hopefully everything would work out as he thought he knew they would. Hopefully they would not murder him as he slept.

“Uh, hey! Something interesting... over there...” Scorch ran off after Wire.

“So, what’d you do to piss off Security?” Scorch and Wire walked down the market, each had security pony acting as a watchdog.

"I just robbed from the rich to give to the poor. It just so happened that the poor was, in fact, me..."

They had been given an hour to peruse the shops for things that they wanted or requested from the city. The guards had been sent to make sure they stuck to the plan, and didn’t try to con the shops out of several hundred caps of merchandise.

“It’s nice to know I’m setting out to face Luna-knows-what with such a noble pony...” Scorch had decided that the mask may be a little excessive for the market, she didn’t want to scare the ponies she was buying from. Without her black dyed coat she doubted anypony would recognize her anyway.

“Indeed, but how did a mare like you end up with all these ruffians like us?” Wire spat, doing his worst imitation of the doctor that got them in this mess.

“I have sort of a nasty habit. You see, I like to pick fights, sometimes they don’t end so well for me.  Only I got somethin’ that makes me a bit different than your common bar fighter, I like fire, a lot.” Scorch floated out her lighter and sparked it to life, watching the flame for a few moments before snapping it shut again.

“... fire, huh? You would have been real good pals with the mare in...” He stopped cold, like he had just solved a puzzle.

“Friends?” Scorch let out a laugh. “The day I make a real friend is the day radhogs fly.” Scorch chuckled to herself for a few moments. “What’s on your shopping list? Had your eye on any tasty treats, or you just lookin’ to pass the time before we get the boot?”

“I’ve got a list... but it’s just food and firearms around here. I need trinitrotoluene, but everyone here is flat out of it... and as for party favors... I’ve been forbid on doctors orders...” Wire grumbled quite loudly at the guard, whose response was to give him a stern look. “But before I got galavantin’ around this place, I need to use the facilities, where are they? Or should I go right here?”

“Trini-what now? Don’t you go speakin’ gibberish on me. I don’t want to be stuck with just Muscles and Brutus here for company.” Scorch waved a hoof at the security ponies, the one aptly called muscles glared back. “Ooh! Is that a liquor store? I’ll be right back.” On those words Scorch turned sharply and made a bee line for the little shop.

“Consarnit all! Will you follow her! If Security sees either one on their own, it’ll be our flanks.” Aptly named Muscles chased after scorch while Brutus was left with a small pony, with an apparently smaller bladder.

“Bathroom is right there, unless you want to shake it for me, you can wait here. If I try to escape, I’ll make sure to say you really tried your best to get me. Or you know, not try and be able to go in peace...” The guard looked at Wire with little laughter at the joke, but allowed him to go in on his own, deciding to show some mares how big and tough he was. Now that he’s occupied, time to get to work. Wire did a quick check of the room. One stall, and few sinks, and a broken mirror. Most importantly of all, nopony else.

It’s not right. How could somepony do this? I’ve done bad things before, terrible things, but none of it was worth this, was it? Now, there’s nothing in my bloodstream. No drugs in my system. And I feel. Terrible. My senses are numbed, I can’t read anyponies face, I can’t block out the noise. I can remember things... I can’t keep my damn hooves steady! Fuck! But, if it’s one thing I’ve learned... come with a back up plan.

Pulling a strip of metal off of a corner of the stall and placing it on the edge of the sink. He turned on the faucet to try and get some of the muck and grime off. It was now or never. He sat down on the damp and cold floor, and bent his rear leg about so that he could get a good look at his worn down horseshoe. He grasped the strip between his front hooves and tried to force it under the shoe, but it no use. His damn hooves were useless. Numb and shaky. Luna damn him. But there’s no time for this, gotta do this the brash way. He placed the corroded strip in his mouth, clenching his teeth tight. It was like chewing foil.

He jimmied the strip into place, and began to push it deeper between the shoe and his hoof. Normally this wouldn’t even make him flinch, he had a special tool for this and everything, but now it was all different. He was clean, nothing in his system to dull the pain, and with the metal jabbing into the soft tissue of his hoof.

The shoe began to loosen its death grip on his hoof, but the low quality nails were bending and not helping this process go any smoother. It’ll all be worth it, just a little more, you can do it. With a spurt of blood and a clang, the shoe finally fell to the ground. His teeth covered in rust and Celestia knows what, and his tongue nicked he picked up his prize.

Going to the sink and washing off the shoe, Wire began to tap it on the soft wood behind the broken mirror, each bit slowly working out a little divot in the shoe. Grasping it with his teeth, he pulled for all his might until the air tight seal was broken and the shoe reviled its true form, a hold out stash. One tube full of white powder. His own hoof made specialty. Powdered Med-X, enough to keep him near his normalcy, but no where near enough to pick a decent lock, or handle a sensitive bomb.

Opening the tube turned out to be a far harder ordeal than all of the previous tasks. He was not adjusting well to life with out chems. Every stab, bullet wound, broken bone, burn, stubbed hoof, and bruise he had ever had in his life decided now would be the time to remind him of pain. His ribs ached from where he didn’t have a doctor or potions to heal, had set wrong. His skin itched from nights sleep in his cell, on what could only be described as only ever being cleaned with pepper spray. His hooves, from years of running packages across burning sands, and jagged mountains. The world was screaming, every drip of water, beat of a hoof on the ground, creak of the building, all inside of his head. The pounding was relentless. His hooves, were lousy and uncoordinated, he couldn’t do this the safe way... He needed that powder. Now!

Finally just breaking it across his shoe, not even caring about the small shards of glass. He took whatever powder he could cradle between his forehooves and snorted it. But that wasn’t enough, it was taking to long to take effect. He moves most of the tube and get every spec he can see in his crazed rush for his cravings.

Suddenly it hit him. Hard. Like a train. Then, nothing. Everything was quiet again. His hooves were still. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He fell to his side, vomiting all the liquor from the night before. His eyes were pin pricks, and he had broken out in a cold sweat. Overdose. Overdose. Overdose. It was the only thing that could run through his mind. He couldn’t remember what it was like to be clean, not to have some little bit of the drug in his system. He never thought he would need to account for that. His breathing was shallow, his face and hooves felt like a million pins were being pushed into them. He couldn’t tell if he had a heartbeat, but it felt bad. The world was fading. I guess this is it, dead in a bathroom, high off my flank. He closed his eyes...

Fuck you wasteland, you think you can get me this easy! He kicked the wall behind him. Then again. He moved his legs violently as hard as he could. He felt the rush of blood though his veins. Rearing up, he slammed into the ground again. He felt something, and that was all he needed. He could breathe again, and he wasn’t dead. I would never give Romeo the satisfaction. He sat up, and looked around. Everything was amazing, like it had always been. He could focus, he had drive, he had... A horseshoe sticking out of his side. No pony would notice a few more wounds on him anyway. Time to get that back in.

He smashed the two sides together. It wouldn’t be useful for long, but long enough to get his supplies, gear, and forced companions. Then, get the hay out of dodge. He pressed his hind hoof to the shoe gingerly, just enough to get the nails in place. Then pulling it back, bucked the wall as hard as he could, driving it deep into its resting place. Had it not been for his shot of vitamin M, this would have been excruciating. For now, it would just hurt like a bitch. He wasn’t sure how long this had taken, but it was enough to make Brutis very, very belligerent. He threw some water over his face, wash of any evidence of his crime.

Exiting the bathroom, the world fell into place, like it was supposed to.

“What the fuck took you so long, sticky hooves?!”

“Sorry about that, but what ever they do to detox you, makes you piss for hours... wanna see?”

“Hurry up an purchase your stuff, so you can get the hell out of my mane.”

“Yes sir” Wire does his poorest attempt at a salute, sticking out his tongue.

“I was told you would be trouble. GIT, or ill smack you with my baton.”

I knew that baton all too well from last night. Three maybe four more snide remarks and that would be it.

Mostly everything on his list procured, he decided to go no where near the pranged meeting spot. Instead deciding to loaf around a “food court” or what ever they wanted to call two stand selling the exact same glop with a different taste. On his back was everything he would need. Some vials of many different explosive agents, a few sticks of dynamite, a broken detonator for his promised C4, and a canteen full of nitro glycerin. Hopefully nopony would be so foalish as to drink from it without his permission.

With Brutus thoroughly lost in his world of flank catching, and saddle chasing, Wire was given a much needed rest. Cuddling up to his gear, he decided to wait for anypony to give enough of a damn to hunt for him.

Whiskeys, vodkas, and beers oh my! Scorch thought to herself giddily as she picked up a bottle and examined it. This shop had a fine selection, she had not seen liquor of this quality in many years.

“Ten bottles.” A large sack of caps landed on the counter next to a stack of whiskey bottles.

“T-ten? Okay, miss, um...” The mousy shopkeeper paused, his eyes enlarged comically by his large glasses.

“Scorch. Say, you got any fire extinguishers?”

“Fire extinguishers? Um, no I’m afraid I don’t.” The shopkeeper said quietly.

“Oh well, take your caps.” Scorch dumped the required amount out onto the counter top and swept the mountain of bottles into her saddlebag.

Today is lookin’ to be a pretty good day. Scorch smiled wide as she took out one of the bottles. Mmmm...

The aroma was beautiful. Scorch tilted back her head as she took a long draft from the bottle. Oh sweet Celestia that is good.

“Want a drink?” Scorch shook the bottle in front of Muscles, a huge smile still plastered on her face.

Muscles looked at her with such a face that he have been could be confused with a brick.

“Just finish yer damn shopping so I can go home you crazy mare.”

“Alright then, more for me!” Scorch took another big drink from the bottle. She looked back at Muscles. “You know where I can buy a spark battery? Or even a fire extinguisher?” The smile still big as ever.

“I hear Wager has some odds and ends over in the Bumper Market, try there.”

“Excellent. Shall we?” Scorch said to the large security as she gestured slightly towards the glowing shop.

“Spark batteries?” Wager was unicorn mare, she darted around the shop, poking at the lights that had gone out and making sure the ones left on didn’t follow suit. “Don’t got any more of those, I just sold ‘em to some old coot. Don’t know what an old pony like that is doing with a dozen of those things, but he had the caps so I can’t complain.”

“Fire Extinguishers though, I think I’ve still got one or two in the back. Gimme a sec and I’ll check for ya.” Wager disappeared behind a curtain in the back of the shop. Several crashes, bangs and howls later, Wager returned laden with red fire extinguishers. “See? I knew I had some somewhere back there. That ought to do just fine.” The red canisters clanged a little as they bounced on the counter.

“How about detergent? Still got some of those? And yeast too, lots of yeast.” Scorch asked as she began to draw out her bag of caps.

A large thump sounded from the counter. Scorch looked up from her bag and her large smile grew to comical proportions. A mountain of detergent sat on the counter next to a smaller but equally impressive pile of yeast. Wager leaned out from around the heaping pile and smiled. “I’ve got plenty.”

Scorch couldn’t help but be impressed at the unicorn’s impressive stock. “Excellent!” Scorch nearly bounced in her excitement. “I’ll take six of each!” Scorch poured out the caps needed and gathered up her loot.

As she exited the shop, she looked back at the mare “I’ll have to come back and buy you a drink sometime.” Scorch said, and with a little wink she left.

Weighed down with the product of her expedition in the market, Scorch made her way back to the market entrance with a grumpy Muscles in tow.

“So Wire is the short guy’s name? Maybe he got stuck in the bathroom.” Scorch laughed a little at her own joke.

“Don't be silly, he is obviously trying to find ways to procure Med-X to feed his own addiction that i cured him off no less than a few hours ago. So i need to find him a present for staying clean so he can feel guilty about it later. What do you think he likes? I have no idea.” Doctor Romeo cheerfully replied, his voice a constant tone of happy just with different tunes now and then

“I should procure a happy birthday card because parties tend to cheer anypony up but that would mean i`d have to get streamers, balloons and invite his friends over too and i don't think he has any friends and that would mean It wouldn't be a party anymore. If i did any of that He might just grow resentful and kill me later in my sleep.”.

“Uh, party?” This pony’s a little weird. Maybe he’s just high or something. “If you’re doin’ a party you can’t forget the party poppers. Those things are awesome.”

Romeo looked over to the bag of oats floating by his sides. “I know what to get. Your security guard should have a radio. Ask him to fetch while i go get a card and something to write with..” Muscles quickly tried contacting his friend Brutus, easily getting a fix on their location. The doctor had begun writing on a Happy birthday card, the imagery had faded but it was still mostly intact. A variety of colors with Scootaloo from Red Racer in a cheerful pose.

“You do that Doc, I’m gonna go get Wire.” She began to move towards the food court when a hoof landed on her shoulder.

“Not without me you’re not.”

She shook off the hoof violently. “Then let’s go.” The cheeriness in her voice dropped slightly

Scorch trotted into the food court, spirits high and a little buzzed. There the thief sat, blissfully asleep on top of his haul from the market. “Aw, isn’t he just so adorable?” Scorch put on her best girly impression as she floated her bottle back into the saddlebag. “Hey, hey Wire, hey. Wake up.” Poking the blond pony in his sides repeatedly until the thief curled up tighter in a ball, grumbling,

“Go away Brutus, I said you’re not my type of stallion...”

Scorch was struck by an idea. Leaning down, she whispered into Wire’s ear “Oh, but you are so very much my type.” Doing her best to replicate the Security buck’s voice. He shot up, wide eye’d and fully awake.

“What the fu- Oh luna dammit, it’s you again... Let me guess... The parade is about to start?”

“Yep! and you’re leadin’ the marching band! We gotta go or you’ll miss it!” Scorch scooped his stuff up with magic, balancing the little bundle onto Wire`s back and began to push him hurriedly towards the market entrance.

“No! I want seven hundred more minutes! Come and get me when the world ends... again.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, tight schedule and what-not.” As they passed another storefront, Scorch face hooved. “Dammit! I knew I forgot somethin’! You just wait right here, I’ll be back before you know it.” She darted into the store.

Moments later she returned with a can of black paint hanging from the handle in her mouth. Flipping open the saddlebag’s top, she turned her head and dropped the can into the now open bag. “See? What’d I tell you? Let’s keep moving, we don’t want to keep the good doctor waiting.”

“Are we... gonna throw paint on him? I like that idea... Let me mix in some-”

A loud pop was heard, and suddenly Wire was covered in streamers. The beat of drums from an audio file began playing. Levitating a plate containing three pieces of cake, Doctor Romeo appeared almost as if he had teleported between the two.

“I got a piece of cake right here, I hope it finds you well!

To kick a drug addiction makes me think you're really swell!

If you stay clear of Med-X I will help you celebrate!

The cake will be delicious, the festivities first-rate!

There will be games and dancing, Bob for apples, cut-a-rug!

And when the party's over we'll gather 'round for a group hug!

No need to bring any gifts, staying clean will be enough!

Celebration mean having fun with friends, not getting lots of stuff!

It won't be the same without the stuff, life is hard until it ends!

So please, oh please, just stay without and start to make some friends!”

“What the blueberry fuck was that?” Wire stated, shaking the bits of paper that landed on him off.

“I have no idea... hey look! Cake!”

“SURPRISE! Sorry that the card says happy birthday even if it might not be your birthday but i brought hats and a piece of cake for each of us.” Levitating the plate and the card Romeo put a small party hat on top of Wire`s head. The doctor was starting to tire but so far everything felt worth the effort. “Sorry if its uncomfortable sharing a single plate but we are both unicorns so it wont exactly matter.”

“But Doc, you’ll never guess what today is?” Wire said, a grin on his face.

“You can tell me after eating this piece of cake!” Romeo snickered eagerly waiting for the pair to actually try the cake. It was great cake, he had tested it himself, though the fruit was not exactly extravagant in nature there was still great cream and dough.

“Yeah... I’m trying to take care of this body now, I think I’ll pass...” His grin settling to a slight frown, his eyes growing tired once again.

“Hey, you can still tell me. Just thought it might be nicer to talk later when we are not celebrating.” Romeo rested the plate on a nearby table, Maybe if he showed them the cake was not dangerous they might try some. So he levitated out his own piece, taking bites while smiling gingerly.

“We really don’t have time for this... You do not want to travel at night out there... And I still don’t have my pack. So thanks for gettin’ me clean Doc, I’m really startin’ to see why all that Med-X was bad.”

“So expensive cake is suddenly bad because Med-X?“ Gulping down the rest of his own cake Doc Romeo mused over this while checking out the stuff Wire had brought. “Rehabilitating you will take FOREVEER.” he added as a joke to try and lighten the sudden inquisitive tone.

“I don’t take well to sugar, but thanks for the amazing party.” A look of pain growing on his face.

“You gonna eat that?” Scorch eyed Wire’s slice of cake, a few crumbs still stuck to her muzzle.

“Have at it... uh... um... Yellow? Firemare? Uh... Who are you again? I don’t remember you name.”

“The name’s Scorch.” She said, not wasting any time in devouring the cake.

“Ah, well it sure is a... thing to meet you.” Wire feigning the most pathetic of smiles.

“So lets go get your stuff! Isn't this exiting? are you exited? because i am exited! I haven't been this exited since. Want to hear a story while we walk?”

“Nope. We are we off to first oh keeper of the map?” Scorch looked up from the freshly devoured cake and wiped her muzzle.

Romeo bounced forward, chewing on another sugar bomb. “Well, poor Wire here still has his stuff locked up so that`s first. Then we meet up with Charger at the exit out towards the wastelands and leave. It is really simple, don't you think?”

“Good, the sooner we get my gear, and the sooner we get this done... the better,” tiring from the weight of the poorly placed mound on his back.

“Then what are we waiting for?” She stood and slowly wandered to the market’s exit. ”Time’s a wastin’.”

“It is not like i see anyone else more qualified out of the three of us. Lets go Everypony!”

Front hooves sliding on a piece of cardboard the doctor nearly stumbled but clumsily reclaimed control over gravity. Laughing it off the unicorn began dragging one of the security ponies up front to lead the way.

“You lot sure spent a lot of time shopping.” Charger commented as the three ponies in questioned had finally meandered over to the bridge. “We have a really simple route for you lot to take. Just a day`s journey from here if you keep a decent pace.”

“This happened recently and it`s in your route. A caravan used shelter 102 for the night and sealed the door shut. A pack of ghouls are outside of it harassing them. We want you to get rid of those ghouls. Been bothering everypony for months now. Any questions?”

The bridge began swinging outwards so the party could cross. With a groan and a clank it settled in nicely.

“Then I can kiss this hell hole goodbye forever?” Wire stated, no longer looking at the Pegasus, but to the wastes.

“With all due respect to your preferences but, the wasteland ain't exactly what i would call summer vacation. This island may be a hell hole but at least it is our hell hole.” The Security Chief stomped a hoof in the ground with some semblance of pride before handing a relatively small black square to Romeo. The stealth-buck he had requested. “Good luck.”

“Yes, Good luck and sleep well. Have fun too, I most certainly will.” The doctor began trotting past Charger and the thief, aiming at a spot towards the left side so he could protect his patient, intending for Wire to stay in the middle.

“If you had any respect left in that body, you would have let me leave on my own, without this ridiculous entourage...” the thief's patience for the boastful guard growing thin.

“You'll probably end up thanking me at some point.”

Level up:

“When All You Have is a Scalpel-...” 1 Rank Prerequisites: PER 6 INT 6 Medicine 45: You’re sick, you know that? Unfortunately, you’re also a damn good doctor-... even when the proper tools are conspicuously absent. Mending broken limbs with magic is 20% more effective and less taxing.

 “Cannibal” 1 Rank: You eat other ponies. Naturally, most ponies react rather poorly to you... indulging your urges. There’s also that pesky “aberration of nature” aspect, too. Sometimes, though, sometimes giving in to the rush has its benefits. Consuming the flesh of another pony, while decidedly unhealthy for your digestive tract, reputation and sanity, results in a cascade of endorphins that provides a temporary 15 point bonus to HP and +2 STR. (Flashback Perk)

“Weakness Leaving the Body” Rank 1 (of 2) Prerequisites: Chem Reliant, END 5 Medicine 35: Holy shit! You can still stand after that? Wow. You must be a wizard or something. When under the effects of any type of painkiller, increase the efficacy of the ‘limb-damage ignore’ effect granted by them.

“Retardant Coat” 1 Rank Prerequisites: END 7 Explosives 35: At this point, brushes with fire have become a day-to-day facet of your existence. Burns are regularly treated and you know exactly how to deal with them. It’s all become remarkably... mundane. Fire-based effects deal 75% less damage and are 50% shorter in duration when applied to you.

All credits for the setting go to Kkat, author of the original story Fallout Equestria published on Equestria Daily. Please support the sidefic authors that continue to explore her universe: FO:E sidefic author homebase Gdoc.

Story is coauthored by Volk, Redundant and Damhoof.

Big hugs to DamnfoolBronyauthor of "Kiss Equestria Goodbye."