Fallout Equestria: "Best Laid Plans"

Chapter Two: Convenience

“I want... a dress. I know! I know! It sounds silly, but those Pre-War mares reallyknew how to live.”

The wind breezed right through his finely combed grey hair. And not long after the doctor felt a shiver down his spine, he wondered. Had the wasteland always been this cold? Or had the years spent inside Friendship City desensitized him from the apocalyptic outside?

He looked towards the constant cloud cover stretching itself over them. “Well, here we are.”

“Ain’t no sense in standin’ around, giddy up! Let’s get moving!” The mare then pulled out a bottle of whiskey. She took a large swig before starting her way across the metal bridge.

“Yes, I want to put as much distance as I can between me and this place.” The thief muttered while wrapping a cloth around his forehead. The breeze from the ocean hit them from behind and felt like a broken radio in Romeo`s head.

“Stable 51” it whispered to him while a vivid imagination began rebuilding the city on the other side of the bridge towards its prewar glory. Watching the skyscrapers being built by an army of invisible workers that did not even exist.

He was impressed that even after years of staying in the city such power still lingered in the area and had he been a lesser buck the doctor might have just stayed here looking at the magnificent view forming. Instead, he just laughed at the theory and lacking anything to say about with his reluctant partners the radio button was flickered on.

“I don't want to set the world on fire

I just want to start a flame in your heart

In my heart, I have but one desire

And that one is you

No other will do.

That was Sapphire shores reminding us all that caring for some pony might lead to setting the world on fire. It’s news-time children! Now perk up your ears and listen to what DJ P0N-3 has to say.

Remember when you’re out there in the wastes. It is always nicer to have somepony watching your back than to have no friends at all. That way you stand twice the chance out here in the Equestrian wastes and the occasional slip up won't be as deadly.

“We’ll never be able to hear an ambush if you keep that crap on.” The small framed thief spoke softly and kept his eyes at the little screen on the doctors leg.

“If we heard one it wouldn't be much of an ambush.” The blonde buck did have a point. “That better?”

Wire just rolled his eyes at crimson buck. “Where are we going exactly?”

Romeo pointed his pipbuck hoof towards South, East. “Got a large green arrow pointing that way.” He looked at the dilapidated structures and damaged roads. “Last I heard about the wasteland it had grown worse than it has ever been with no pony keeping the roads clean anymore, and that was about two years ago. I would love to hear about anything you have to say.” He dreaded the silence and was anxious. They would open up eventually. He just had to give them time and help them along.

“You get shot, or you get mauled by some Equestrian horror. That’s about it.”

That was not what I meant. He looked to the two ponies with disappointment. “Ive met robots that talked more than you.” He grabbed a sugar-bomb, mulling over the lack of discussion that loomed over the horizon. “Im positively thrilled over getting to know the both of you better.” The doctor replied to himself with sarcasm.

“It’s not as if we will be seeing much of each other once this job is over.” The thief finally spoke up.

He did not know where the medical part started and his personal interest ended, but he knew there was reasons the thief did what he did. Those reasons would be required to cure his addiction, and he was going to eliminate it.

"How are you feeling Wire? I don’t get to meet many of your kind.”

“My kind? Do you mean other ponies? I can see why.” The thief gave doc a quick look over, followed by rolling his eyes. “I’m, uh, It’s tough to go around, and I’m uh, sore. But I’m better? Yes, better without the stuff.”

“We should really have a diary for this but. We can make do with talking about it. How about you Scorch? Would you care to join in? A bottle-cap for your thought`s” The doctor cooed and then returned to keeping his eye on the buildings they passed by.

“I’m just glad to have a job again, it was rather boring in that big-ass tin can they call a city.” She seemed rather distant, as though she wasn’t paying much attention.

“Really?” He could not  help but sound surprised. “So what are you earning caps for? Can't all be about Booze and ammo right?”

“I’ve got nothin’ else to do, why not work?” She reached back into her saddlebag and pulled out a half empty bottle of whiskey. After taking a moment for a stiff drink she but the spirit back in her bag. “And besides, It’s not really work if it’s fun.”

“Well, that’s why you gotta make your own fun.” Wire started, “There’s count the crater, um, there’s see who can out run the bullet, and my favorite, the quiet game. I’m the wasteland champion. You look like the type who likes games doc, see if you can beat me.” It just sounded as if Wire had been leading a somewhat dark and private life.

“Mighty big talk for somepony with such a small standing.” Scorch added with a sly smile and then the mare turned so that the nozzle faced the thief.

“And yet, I’ve not cocked my launcher, or even moved for that matter. My gun is in its holster, and my grenades stay in their spots. For such a large pony, you’re not that intimidating.”

“I think you’re just afraid to lose.” Scorch shook her head in disappointment. “You’re no fun.”

“Of course, If you’re not having fun, I’m having a ball.” Wire chirped back, positively radiating happiness.

“I’m having fun alright. I have my whiskey,and I have my fire.” Scorch replied with a slight smile. “I said you’re no fun. There’s a difference.” She flipped down the visor of the welding mask, effectively ending the conversation.

“See Its good to talk?” The doctor commented in an attempt to take the sting out of the conversation. This Scorch was significantly twigged, and he did not want to get hoofed in the face by the bulky mare.  “You could have chosen a better topic, but I guess weapon talk is standard for ponies such as yourself. I just have a ten millimeter. Kept it maintained but haven't had to fire it in years.” It weighed in his pocket. The other magazines now loaded with bullets. This is your last resort boy, but often its their first. His fathers voice echoed.

“You are so gonna die out here.” Scorch said from behind the mask with a light chuckle.

“Well, Ponies are not supposed to turn to their guns and explosives for answers at the first or even second sign of trouble.” Romeo frowned at the sight of these two brutes now armed to their teeth with flamers and explosives. The two ponies were unquestionably prepared for indiscriminate slaughter.

Helluva thing killing another pony, to take away all they have done, and will ever do. Who am I to determine if you live or die? My only son left to walk the earth. Whatever you do from now on, bring your brother with you. The image of his father standing over him faded quickly, and he heard the thief speak out.

“Doc, I’d rather be over prepared, than at the mercy of somepony that isn’t gonna have any sympathy. I’m at peace with what I’ve done,” Wire raised an eyebrow at Romeo. “Can you say the same?”

“Well now.” He teased the subject in his head. Wanting to say and hear just about everything and anything with that investigative smile. “Just what would a pony such as  yourself be at peace with? What drives such a peaceful pony to steal?”

“Oh? I can’t take all the mystery out of the romance.” He rolled his eyes as they continued further into the ruins.

“You`re such a tease.” The doctor giggled, leaping over some rubble in the road. "Why don't you tell me your story or why you use a flamer?” The doctor looked to Scorch with his sugary tones. Chirping playfully in the wasteland breeze.

“A part time bounty hunter just lookin’ for a job. Not much to tell.”

“Did you judge the rest of their lives worth in the caps you earned?” He chuckled and was filling his voice with an intentional sweetness, coating the air with a caramel tune while silently hating on the mare and her profession.

Scorch looked at him with indifference. “How many did you save that did deserve to die?”

"Now you are being silly. Everypony deserves to be brought into Celestia`s grace, to stand next to her as she raises the sun. To gallop across the great fields of a heavenly Equestria and eat as much alfalfa as their stomachs can bear.” He looked to Wire with his usual grin, and the thief looked back with concern in his eyes.

“Uh, why are you looking at me?”

“Seemed appropriate. Being rid of your addictions and all.” He assured the thief. “Don`t worry I have a 100% success rate at curing addicts.”

“I bet you count death as success.” The small framed buck rolled his eyes in a joking matter and then got a nod from Romeo in response.

“How marvelously perceptive of you. Just think of it like recycling." he continued, noting down the priceless expression on Wire`s face. "Even if you fail to remain clean, in the grand scheme of things, you will end up serving some greater purpose. I am such a clever pony.”

Wire looked rather disturbed back at the doctor. “How in the hay did you even talk your way into that place, let alone become a doctor?”

“What in the hay is that supposed to mean?” He was levitating around a sugar-bomb like an aggressive insect. Poking Wire in the forehead, and then back to himself, chewing on it. “My parents where both doctor's, the profession runs in the family and Friendship city greatly appreciates doctors. Especially those with extensive backgrounds like my own. I was just a tad more profit minded than they were comfortable with is all.”

“No wonder you’re such a lonely pony.”

“Got what I needed out of it.” He looked at the pipbuck now residing on his leg. “One step closer to where I need to be.”

“Eyup, death by Manticore or maybe Bloodwing." Scorch replied with a relatively hopeful cheerfulness.

Romeo looked at the fire-mare, so smug and sure of herself. “Ha, ha, ha, oh, hi, ha, ha. and here I thought my jokes were bad.”

“Just sayin` I’ve never seen one of those leg terminals on a living pony...”

“Yes, clearly those ponies wearing leg terminals have been targeted by aliens and are now being experimented upon. We are all connected to the Stable hub. Would be easy to track anypony wearing it down if you know what you are doing.” He laughed at that, to prove it was actually a joke. “With this i can see everypony friendly, neutral and hostile that get's near me and slow down time to a trickle while carefully aiming my shots. Its nothing short of Invincibility.”

“I`d still manage to smack you.” The thief retorted while radiating a smidgen of hostility.

Because I`d let you. “Now would that feel good? I certainly feel great.” He smiled back at the two ponies.

“You’re not gonna be this cheery the whole time right?” The thief sighed with resentment.

The doctor got closer to Wire, avoiding a towering pile of rubble on his side of the road. “Are you gonna be like that for the rest of the trip?” He intruded on the thief`s personal space with sugar in his voice. “All you have to do is flex those cheek muscles and the world becomes a little more colorful.”

Wire stared at him walleyed, as if  made of stone, and just as responsive.

“Booring.” Romeo exclaimed, being no less than a few inches from the thief`s face feeling tempted to remodel it. “Talk about sour lemons. You’re just doing this to antagonise me.”

“I’ll smile when I’m happy. You’re not on my list of things that cause that.”

"Does this mean that? You wont love me anymore?” The doctor pouted and sniffed, faking that he had been hurt and was now crying. “I`m so alone and desperate for company. I don't think I could handle this kind of blunt rejection. I might just start baking cupcakes.”

“I... I don’t even know what to make of you.” Wire rolled his eyes a bit, a faux smile on his face, “This better?” He said though his teeth.

“Wonderful. Ha, ha, ha.” The doctor bounced on, obviously satisfied. “I know, we can tell jokes! That is sure to help. What did the cheese say to the sour milk?”

“They can’t talk.”

“Imagine if they could talk then.” Wide eyed the doctor giggled on.

“I don’t want to. Don’t you have any jokes that aren't for foals?”

“Err, no.” He looked to the blonde pony with a gaze of sadness. “Don`t worry, we can fix you yet. I heard there was a clinic up at Shattered Hoof before the bombs. Probably some salvage there that can muddle away the worst and release your inner child again.”

“Hey! I agreed to do your detox, you agreed to help moderate my intake.. I didn’t agree to anything else...” He replied with an angry kind of desperation simply proving that a line had been stepped over.

“You barely smile, wont even eat candy or cake. Nor did you seem very phased as I poured streamers on you or gave you the happy get clean card. This is becoming more and more like one of those advanced conditions. You probably wont even pin the tail on the pony.”

“I’m too damn old to be doing little foal stuff.” Wire angrily shoved  the doctor away.

“Your awfully small for such an old pony. Maybe you stopped growing because you tried to be a grownup when you were little.” The doctor replied in an energetic and over the top manner while Wire simply brushed it off.

“Looks are deceiving.”

“Riiiight.” Romeo blew raspberries at the thief while looking devilishly smug. A store crept up on them from the horizon. “Maybe these buildings have something of value in them.”

“Not a fan of coffee, or doughnuts.” Wire blurted out from the silent streets.

“Canned food then? This here is a grocery store.” He pointed a hoof at the giant now fallen Storesign. “Home to many things we might need. Right?”

The structure towered over them in an intimidating fashion. It`s revolving doors greeted them. The remaining glass that had not been utterly destroyed could be compared with the teeth of a gaping mouth. Romeo felt tempted to use his magic and restore it in his minds eye. This monster of a building designed to consume hundreds of ponies daily would no doubt look stunning there.

The Immediate inside held dispensers of various goods. Sparkle Cola, Sunrise Sarsaparilla and a ministry of morale candy dispenser. Lining the walls where posters, they were charred and rotten. Worn down by time itself.

“This seems like a bad idea oh, faithful leader.” Wire said as he looked in a crumpled trash can.

“Stop me then.” The doctor used his magic to light their way. Waving his head around in a peculiar style that made the light dance around in an erratic manner. It was easy to imagine how it had been before the bombs. Daily a vast herd of ponies would come. Travelling on the black and white tiles while plucking food and other miscellaneous items they would need for the week.

“The first prewar building I have entered in years, and it is amazing. Like a great big mausoleum.” Romeo kicked up some dust as he ventured on into the belly of the beast.

“Has anypony ever told you that you’re crazy?” Scorch called out from behind a register.

“Crazy? what  a silly question.” The doctor was now checking the rows for anything worth picking up, but there was nothing.

“Quit sightseeing and loot, the less time we spend in here the better.” Another register popped open with a ding. “Damn, looks like somepony else got here first.”

“Looks like a lot of somepony got here first.” Wire said as he closed another empty box. “I’m gonna check that back room. Always something locked in a backroom.” He started to make his way deeper in the store.

“Hello! anypony home?” Romeo shouted but got no immediate reply. He then decided trotting after Wire would be the best idea. The thief seemed to have an instinct for finding things. “Ponies have had centuries to loot this place to the ground.” He kicked an empty and rusted tin with resignation in his voice.

“And all of them are thwarted by a simple lock. All I have to do is open it.” He looked up at a door and blew the dust from a sign. It was marked with `employees only and then the thief pushed a hoof on the handle, it didn’t budge. “Ding ding ding, we have a winner.”

“Really? Now this I gotta see.” Romeo positioned himself to study, resting on his haunches, so he would not get in the way.

The thief sent him a strange look. “I uh, get stage fright. Could you turn around for a minute.”

“What? Why?” Did Wire have something to hide? Now he was curious and suspicious on top of being bored. “Is it your special lock breaking a super awesome secret? I promise not to tell.”

“You have trade secrets you don’t want any of those to get out I assume. So do I. Just, turn your head for a minute, and uh, I’ll do this.”

“Fine, but I really don't see how lock breaking should be such a big secret that nopony should see.” He turned his head looking towards the exit for a moment.

Romeo could make out the sounds of rummaging from where the thief was, then the sound of a sigh of relief. Then there was a clatter of tools followed by a door being opened. Then the air was electrified with a combination of curiosity and anticipation.  “Ladies first.”

“Thank you. Never expected such a gentlecolt out here in the wasteland.” the doctor chirped in an effeminate theme and what greeted him was a little locker-room with benches. In the end of it, there was an employee recreation hall. He lifted up a pretty intact magazine lying on one of the benches. Dusting off centuries of dust to reveal the pictures of two Zebra`s fighting each other. Martial Arts of the Zebra. “Nice.”

“Anything good?” His face buried deep in a locker.

“Just a magazine. You?” Romeo gently put it into his saddlebag after making sure it was mostly readable and then he began checking the nearest locker`s as  Wire had done. His only acquisition was a half eaten prewar sugar-bomb taunting him. Ha! as if he would agree.

“A baton, some caps, and some prewar paper bonds. And a dress.” He looked in the locker a little while longer. “Nothing at all.”

“Can I have the dress?” He looked at Wire, letting the request sink in before breaking into a smile. “For make-shift bandages in case we run out.”

“I bet it is. You just want to dress up like a pretty little filly.” With his forehooves planted firmly on his cheeks Wire began making kissing faces, but Romeo just smiled as he took hold of the dress with his telekinesis.

“I`d have to say light blue is probably not my color. It would suit you a lot better.” He then easily sorted it down towards the bottom of his saddlebag. “You are such a pretty little filly.” With the joke said and done he browsed trough another closet. Finding some spare ammo for his pistol.

“Hardy, har, har.” The thief went back to his own business and continued looking into the other lockers. Bored of finding nothing of significant value Romeo headed on into the recreational room. He surveyed a pool board and scattered a set of racked billiard balls. A packet of cigarettes lay on the side table along with pool cues, but he simply refused to pick it up.

Wire perked up from his looting and looked at Scorch. “Hey, where did you find that?” He was fixated on the bottle.

“Found it in the garbage of all places, cap still sealed and everythin’.” She tilted her head back for another drink. “Pretty lucky huh?”

“But, I looked in all the cans over there. All I found was paper weights and empty bottles.”

“If you're so desperate then here.” Scorch offered the half empty bottle to Wire. “Finish ‘er off.”

Wire grabbed the bottle, “Thanks, I’ll owe you one later.” He sucked down the contents in a flash. Then let out a satisfied breath. Scorch on the other hoof trotted to the office door and shoved it open with a forceful hoof. Revealing a relatively small managers office with its own wooden desk and tons of filing cabinets.

“Uh huh.” Wire began to open the desk drawers, pushing papers about.

“Feel like pickin’ another lock?” The fire-mare called from the corner, staring down at a little black safe. “Force doesn’t really work on these.”

“It’s my specialty,” Wire sported a boastful grin on his face, making his way to the little safe and then professionally set about unlocking it.

“Holler when you’re finished.” She began pulling books off a little bookcase in the opposite corner.

After a few minutes, the small framed pony stepped aside and swung open the safe door, “Looks like it’s never bee- Oh, would you look at that.” Wire reached into it and started moving things.

“What’s in it?” She dropped a book on the floor, along with a small assembly of other books from the same shelf that had failed to peak her interest. Romeo sneakily levitated them to himself. They had titles such as The black stallion, A storm of flowers, Paradise, Almost heaven and Dream a dream. Taking a quick look at the synopsis at the back of the books they appeared to be about love and romance.

While it was clear, that Scorch did not read these kinds of books. Romeo would easily stoop to their level of sappy, predictable plots. He did not have a single book in his collection and rarely had any occasion to do anything with his reading or writing and so under the pretence of levitating them back where they belonged he hid a couple in his saddlebags.

“One of these.” Wire held in his hooves a small, beaten, and sad looking magical energy pistol.

“Sparkle cola for a crappy energy pistol?” She pleaded with Wire and made a poor attempt at puppy dog eyes.

“Hmm,” The thief rubbed his chin with one hoof and began balancing the pistol on the other. He then dug his face in his pack and pulled out a cigarette.  “Throw in a light, and you’ve got yourself a trade.”

“Deal.” A worn and dented lighter floated from Scorch’s bag. She sparked it to life and lit Wire’s cigarette with surprisingly gentle and precise moves. “I’m taking that pistol now.” Scorch held out her hoof expectantly.

“Deal.” A worn and dented lighter floated from Scorch’s bag. She sparked it to life and lit Wire’s cigarette with surprisingly gentle and precise moves. “I’m taking that pistol.” She held out a hoof.

Wire took a long drag, “Yeah, that’s the ticket.” The thief looked at the pistol and nonchalantly tossed it at her. “Never was a fan of those things, always burns up whatever you shot at. Can’t pick clean anything that’s disintegrated.”

“Thanks.” She stuffed the lighter and pistol in her bag. “Any other goodies in there?”

“Wanna read somepony’s journal from twenty decades ago? There is also this thing.  "No clue what it is.” It was a small disk shaped object with what look like a miniature satellite array and several wires poking out of the side. “I’ll uh, just hold on to it for scraps I guess.” Wire quickly put in his pack without giving her a chance to look closer.

“I think I’ll take a look at that diary. I’m bored and whoever owned this office had a bad taste in books.” The mare began stretching in a bored manner and moaned in a comfortable, sleepy manner.

“Didn’t take you as the scholarly sort.” Wire closed the safe and locked it back with the spin of the dial.

Wire took a look at the diary and then back at Scorch. “Grab it with your magic then, I’m not a fan of the past anyway.” The thief then headed towards the door once the book was out of his grasp. Romeo could not help but cough as the cloud of smoke vanished out.

The mare and the doctor shared a few precious moments of silence and then Scorch followed Wire with a displeased look on her face. “This pony was an idiot.” She stated before tossing the diary away. “You’d think they’d have at least somethin’ interesting to say.”

“What, manager of a prewar grocery store not exciting enough for you?” The thief shouted from outside of the room and then laughed heartedly.

“What did he write about?” Romeo inquired, finally intervening in the conversation while curiously fetching it for himself.

“I think it was a she, and she wrote about her feelin’s and stuff. She wrote kind of badly too.” Scorch said before peaking into another locker.

“Ain`t that nice? She probably had nopony to talk with about her feelings and instead wrote them down.” He picked the book up, ruffling trough the pages until the last page with writing on it. “Looks like she forgot her book when the bombs fell. Her last entry is about some buck.”

“Whatever floats your boat Doc.” Scorch rolled her eyes at the doctor. Her feelings about the subject were pretty clear.

“You do not want this diary? Such a shame.” Romeo muttered back while closing the book and putting it in his bags. He opened a file cabinet shelf, revealing lots of paper tracking earnings and goods. Not much to use. “The book still have a significant amount of pages left if you`re itching to write some Wire.”

“Who says I know how?”

“Not knowing how to write is a sin. So what do you say? Every time we camp I help you write a page, eh?” Romeo tossed the papers around now that the cabinet had been searched. The doctor looked up from the top drawer in triumph. “I even found some pencils.” There was a building silence and then the thief replied.

“Never needed know how to before, why start now?”

“Because you can? I`m offering to teach you Wire. Got plenty of paper, got the writing material for it and have you admitting to not knowing all in the same five minutes.” Just the prospect felt exiting. It felt right. The blonde small framed thief would surely appreciate it in the end. “Destiny is at foot here my friend. Stars aligned, and the universe gathered together to give us these tools within the few moments after it took you to admit not knowing how to read.” Romeo hoped that the thief would not be able to refuse. "One page a night sounds just about right.

With that as his reason the doctor began rummaging through more cabinets. Then he found something glass and liquid. A relatively large and brown colored glass flask. Engraved with the word Apple on the side. He opened the bottle with ease. Magically twisting the cork until it  let go with an audible bomph.

“Looks as if she had a little something extra.” The doctor sniffed, taking in the scent of age old alcohol. It stung his nose faintly. “I could use this for disinfection." he muttered while picking up the cork.

“Anypony want this box of cake?” Scorch yelled from somewhere out in the store.

“Are they eatable? Tasty?” The doctor yelled in return with the bottle at hand. He had figured this was just another stroke of luck. Romeo had plenty of sugar bombs left, but some diversity might be beneficial.

“They haven`t ever been opened.” Scorch voice stopped, and there was a moment of silence. “They smell okay.”

“Yea well. I think I might want them.” The doctor trotted out towards Scorch, wanting a bite himself. Already he could taste the lemon frosting and fruity crispiness.

“Got anything tasty in return?” The mare asked him with a look of indifference. Levitating a little box that had a faded cover, the sides slightly crumpled but still mostly intact.

“This?" Romeo presented the almost full bottle of alcohol and figuring she might want it decided to try a little barter. "Though it really is a bum trade, vintage stuff for some century old cake.” He gave her an honest face with a more sophisticated and reserved smile. "This simply will not do, but you probably have something you could add to make this trade even?”

“Not unless you like yeast or soap.” Was she taunting him?

“What?” He sent the bottle her way in a tempting manner. “Nothing at all? How about a moment of your time? How about you write something in the diary?” He sent some suggestions her way, teasing her with the bottle.

“I guess you don’t want the cakes then.” Scorch pulled open the flap of her bag and put the box on top of her stash. “These might make a good snack later.”

“I guess you dont want this bottle of apple whiskey then.” He withdrew the bottle and hid it in his bags once more, looking at Scorch expectantly.

“I already got Apple whiskey in my bags, no loss to me.” She said with a shrug.

“I have candy, no loss for me either.” He copied her shrug and began walking back towards Wire in defeat. “Did the office desk contain anything? Other than the neat desk itself of course. Fine craftsmanship, made by expert hooves.” Romeo stretched, using the desk as support for his forelegs. Hooves clopped neatly against ancient and sturdy wood.

The thief looked at him for a moment with a glowing cigarette in his mouth. Pumping smoke out of his nose. “Don`t rightly know, I was more focused on the safe.”

“Really now?" Romeo looked to the thief lazily, chewing on his failed barter with Scorch, but it was okay. He didn't need cakes. He had Sugar-bombs. The whole thing was just a matter of patience. Wait for her to run out of alcohol and then the value of his bottle of apple whiskey would increase. "Did you find something interesting? Another dress?”

The thief shuffled his hooves and looked towards the roof. Then he breathed out circle shaped smoke clouds. “Random junk and a magical energy pistol. She’s got it now.”

“You traded an energy pistol and some junk? For what?” The doctor felt annoyed at that. Not only had he failed to barter, but Wire had apparently traded to him something considerably valuable.

“Some cola and a light.” Emphasizing the smoke he had gotten lighted by Scorch the thief directed his smoke at Romeo.

“The fu.-” He managed to utter before coughing repeatedly. Romeo retreated while wiping his eyes and blinking profusely. “You traded a cola and some light for a pistol? The pistol was worth thrice what you got in return.”

A thunderous crash sounded from the front of the store, followed by the sounds of shifting cardboard. “Sorry, my bad.” Scorch yelled after a few moments of rustling.

“Can’t help it if I have no value for it.” The thief shook his head and rolled his smoke around. Wire then dumped ash on the fairly old but still formidable desk. The act coupled with the sentences was triggering Romeo`s annoyance meter in a fairly basic way.

“What? You know Wire. I expected that, as a thief that has been addicted to Med-X in years, you would have a basic grasp on money.” Romeo coughs again still somewhat affected by the smoke.

“Why don’t you go find out what shes up to then? If your such a master trader, you convince her that she robbed me.” The thief giggled while taking another large drag from his cigarette and then later formed it into a circle of smoke.

“I just came from there, and Scorch can keep her cakes until she is desperate for trading them.” He lifted up the bottle of alcohol. “Unless of course you would let her rip you off for the cakes and then trade them to me for some paper.” Romeo stretched his tongue out in a teasing manner.

“At least I’ve got charisma, unlike you.” Wire tossed the smoke in the garbage can, leaving Romeo alone in the room, and the doctor had no reason to follow yet. In fact, one of the two silly ponies he was travelling with would have to appear with the intent of dragging him out.

The sour attempt at bartering with Scorch and the thief being this oblivious to value was striking some angry chords that he had best abandon.

To do so Doctor Romeo whipped out the old diary Scorch had found. Reading from the daily thoughts and happenings in this Ministry of Morale standard issue diary. Her name was Evergreen Shine. It was written here in pristine condition, and now he was holding the one part that had survived the war.

Thinking of it as the last bit of her life made him feel privileged and noteworthy. If found return to owner at 34th Street. His pipbuck lit up, revealing a new quest to return the diary.

Dear Diary I found you in my husbands luggage after he settled back in. He said it was supposedly meant for himself but he and the few others who left the Equestrian army when their enlistment period ended had all decided not to write anything. He was particularly insistent, says he wants a third child that he can help raise properly and already talking about starting a construction firm with some of the others. I am happy to have him back, but he has indeed changed.

----

Dear Diary, it’s been a while I guess. Seems silly that I would want to write in you, it’s just been terribly stressful at work, and my husband has been distant at times. I might as well do something with this book besides letting it collect dust. In other news, the store is now under my control. Key finally retired and well. It’s just been a lot of work, but in the end what extra money is earned will help now with another foal on the way. Daddy wants a colt, but I would honestly like another little filly to spoil.

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What was he thinking? Vines brought home the biggest gun I have ever seen. I know they handed a lot of guns out to government workers and even tried to cut our store some sort of deal, but we cant afford it. Most of the boys that work shifts here are carrying guns, but this one was longer and looked mighty expensive. Apparently one of his retirement friends had decided to gift each of his buddies with one. What's worse is the gun is named after Macintosh. The pony who saved the princess from that horrible zebra assassination attempt. He looked like such a lovely stallion in the paper and now his name is branded on the stuff that will be killing other ponies. Its a damn shame that is. Well I told him. I didnt want him showing it off to other ponies or wave it around the house when we have a foal coming so we locked it in the safe. I set the password to be the name of our daughter. I want her to have a pretty name. Emerald.

The doctor looked up from the diary content and ready to tell the crew they would be heading to this 34th Street. “Wire? Scorch?” Romeo perked his ears to the sound of nothing, and that itself felt disturbing.

“Anypony?” He asked loudly, but there was no response. He checked the outside of the office, but there was nopony there.

His unlikely allies had vanished. He had feared they would kill him during the night, but instead the pair had just abandoned him.

“Anypony here?” No answer still and then a terrible sense of loneliness began clawing at him from the shadows. No, no I am not alone. They are just outside waiting or hiding somewhere around the corner just to scare me, and don't you dare to fall for these simple tricks.

“It`s not funny you guys!” Romeo shouted inside the mausoleum, and all he could listen in on was his own voice as it echoed from the walls. This was quite the pickle, but nothing to fret about yet. “Guys?”

How could they just abandon him?  Had he said something offensive? Was it something about him that smelled? Should he have faked some sort of wasteland suaveness?

“Fine. You two be that way.” the crimson buck told the road as he looked at the new quest arrow guiding him to Evergreen`s home. The grey world and its larger buildings felt a great deal more intimidating now that he was walking alone. With nopony to keep his mind from sidetracking, the shadows had begun taking the shapes of  monsters to the medical pony. “I can take care of myself.”

Guess they forgot who was the pony with the pipbuck. Here, he could see enemies approach miles ahead of time. Then he heard the high pitched screeching of several things not pony. He was a big pony, he could survive out here, in the waste`s. Being all alone would be no problem at all. “No problem.” Romeo laughed half heartily and then looked anxiously at his pipbuck. At least he had somewhere to go, the green arrow planted down firmly at a location with lines drawn towards a dot that was obviously him.

Evergreen did not live far from where he was, and so the doctor got a move on. Regardless of what condition her house would end up being at he just had to take that risk or slink back into the grocery store with nothing to show for it. Romeo walked in between two buildings in a tight corridor hearing nothing but the radio and his hooves against the cold pavement. He took it as proof that there was nothing around him.

Looking back, he saw nothing and in front there was just another grey and dull road. The building`s still had some amount of shadow and bathed the world around him in a darker tone than what he was accustomed too. No streetlights here, no sir and here he was wearing a signal white medical coat.

If I were a Bloodwing. I would be perched on top of a building, and snatch up any innocent pony that dared cross the roads at this hour. He stared at the buildings on the other side, looking up to the ever so dimming and grey skyline rolling up ahead. Romeo was getting cold, and the world was darkening rather quickly with each wasted minute. A part of him was happy for it. It thrived out here, and once before it had been a part of him.

“All you have to do it take a cup of flour. Add it to the mix.”

Casually he took a trying step forward, and then another. Then the doctor trotted across the road with no pause at all. Nothing.. “Now just take a little something sweet, not sour, a bit of salt, just a pinch” He muttered above the radio as DJ Pon-3 turned on another song by Sapphire shores. “Cupcakes so sweet and tasty.”

There was just this feeling in the air. Wires words thumping the front of his head like an unwelcome guest. Ambush? He felt the tension in his shoulders and then began easing it up by taking deep, and controlled breaths. Definitely his body was anticipating something in that line. Just blinking made him yearn for a double take of the area behind his flanks. Especially now with the radio gone he could hear every little thing that made sounds nearby. Poor, addicted ponies, always so fragile and we would love for them to get better.

The wind was making him anxious. A gust of it just now made this old half wrecked metal dumpster clatter in front of him. The clatter once was rhythmic, and while it did disguise his own hoofsteps anything else close to him might be using it for that same purpose. Pretty soon I`ll start seeing things leap at me from the shadows. With his livid imagination it was obviously a possibility.

After looking at to the map again, the lonesome pony began looking nervously at the darkness creeping up from behind. As if it had been seen the darkness came fourth rushing like a predator, hounding his every hoofstep.

You cannot ignore us forever the shadows whispered. Whatever Romeo was staring into it was clearly intent on not leaving him alone like everypony else.

The shadows then began clawing at his mind. Forcing him to stare at the monster he had become, the monster he was. What he always would be. The doctor pulled out his scalpel. It`s silvery hue shining even in this darkness. “Get back in here, get back where you belong.”

Romeo was greeted with silence and backed into the building that was his destination. With a shriek of rust the doctor closed the door and fell to his haunches.

The doctor took his time now that he was in Evergreen Shine's home. The shadow`s and darkness were gone, replaced by the green glow of his pipbuck and with that glow he quickly found the house terminal. Inputting the password with ease and then a safe swung open. The part that was odd and stood out to him was that the terminal itself had no other features.

Maybe everything except its primary purpose had been deleted as the bombs had fallen? He was no expert and had no answers.

What met him was a giant revolver, well preserved in its chasing but not exactly oiled up and ready to shoot with. Fortunately he had a pretty full bottle of oil that he could use for the gun. What was depressing was the low amount of available cartridges. Lying next to the gun was just two packages of ammo.

The revolver had not been used at all, proving just how recent to the bombs falling that those last pages had been.

There was a small stack of prewar money too. Obviously this was their piggy bank, and there was box jewelry here too. Blue goes well with my dress, calls me his little princess. Random sentences from the diary began popping out of his head. I had this blue spring dress commissioned, normally I would never wear something with that color but with these earrings from Vine`s delightful grandmother  I just have to give it a shot. It should arrive at the end of the week.

He remembered it from the office and pulled out the dress that Wire had found. “Oh Luna.” Was he being guided here by some prewar ghost? Besides the bed in one of the corners there was a ponysized mirror, still intact and present. Or at least relatively intact. He used his magic, dusting off the worst so he could see his own reflection. Levitating fourth the earrings and the dress with an inspecting attitude.

Spring heaven blue on his crimson red was not all that bad. The bottom part of his ears burned. He was no stranger to needlework and just pierced them with the golden earrings. They where shining in this relative darkness, like golden stars in the night sky.

Now that they were in place he just sort of, had to go all the way. His body felt laden with anticipation as the belt strap for his barding was unbuckled and levitated to the wayside with considerable care. With firm and gentle moves the buck began slipping into the prewar spring outfit.

After closer inspection he then began brushing to fix his mane, to be more in tune with the outfit.

The bright blue of the actual dress and the white from the under-dress was certainly bringing out the crimson of his fur and enhancing the grayness of his mane. With some work and the proper technique, he just might be able to make the mane shine in a more silvery hue, and genuinely do what he was wearing justice. Goddamn prewar ghosts and their insistence. Fine, he looked pretty, but this was the extent of how far he could push it.

Romeo hadn't come this way for accessory, but dressing up had changed all of that. He could feel a strong warmth surging from the inside of his chest at just looking at the pony that was inside the mirror. Most of the spare jewelery he had acquired was gorgeous. Unfortunately it did not fit with what he was already wearing. Maybe he could find something that matched later down the line.

It all made sense now. Judging from the writing, Shine had been an emotional and impatient mare. Obviously she had unpacked it, and tried the outfit out in the shop. Now decades later Romeo would come along, and start defiling it. He wasn't even a mare. He could never do these clothes justice and everypony would just harass him for wanting to wear these beautiful clothes.

The crimson princess sat down on the edge of the bed, stabilizing himself as guilt and a mournful sobbing swept everything away. Here he was. Completing a set of clothes meant for this mare decades ago. It was just depressing. Why had the zebra`s bombed everypony? Why had this mare not deserved to die in her best clothes? Why had he been the one to find this? His newly pierced ears burned, and a terrible hurt was swelling from within. Quickly Romeo levitated fourth his own doctors coat. Burying his head within that. Sniffing and whimpering all the while. He could not risk dirtying the dress with such things.

“Miss, please stop crying.”

“What?” The doctor muttered back with indifference keeping his head buried inside the coat. Not soon after he sniffed and began wiping his nose clean before looking up. “Sorry.” He licked his lips tryingly. Everything tasted of snot mixed with salt tears.

“Why are you crying miss?”

After blinking his eyes a couple of times, Romeo could see enough of his guest to judge him friend rather than slaver or worse. He looked young, and maybe even a bit hungry. “Sorry, I do this a lot.” Romeo`s throat was hoarse and burning. The doctor looked down on himself feeling a sense of shame wash over him. Still wearing the dress and being mistaken for a mare. The idea warmed his quivering heart. You best stop crying Dawn or we will soon have an indoor river. Why you don't want that to happen now do you?

“You want some oat's? I have water too.” The doctor began levitating out some of each. Refusing to take no for an answer. He wanted some himself too, and sharing a meal is always an event. At least the guest was neither raider nor slaver scum.

“This isn't a trap? Just givin this to me for free?”

“I have a tendency to hug ponies that get close. If you can call that a trap” The doctor began laughing half heartily to lighten the mood, but it hurt so he stopped. Romeo then pulled a tin filled with oats from his sack, and he ate some of that with a mouthful of water before presenting both to the youngster. “Its safe.”

The young colt looked at him hesitantly, with his blue eyes and light brown self. Then the kid grabbed the tin in front of him and began to gorge himself.

“Was I crying so loud that the wasteland decided to send a small hero to make me stop?” He looked into the mirror, and began brushing his mane to try and maybe delay any sort of insight into the nature of his presence and dress-code.

“What? Mam, I just didn’t want anypony to come in here and find me.” He looked a bit guilty.

“Where you here before me?” Romeo looked towards his guest with a twinge of guilty pleasure for playing this game of pretend. “Don`t eat so fast or this late night lunch might end up you puke it back up, and for goddess sake, you should drink water with that.”

The buck nodded in turn and began drinking water rather than eating the last oats remaining in the tin. “Yes miss, uh, What should I call you mam?”

Eyeing a closet the doctor was lost in thought. “You can. You can call me. Dawn.” He eventually stammered out, each word filled with increased confidence. “And your name is?”

“My name is Four Leaf, Miss Dawn.”

He had not been called that in a long time but it had to be done. He just could not be Romeo while wearing this dress. With a sheepish smile he looked to Four Leaf. “Be careful with the oats. They grow and become bigger in your tummy.”

The Dress was hard to move in, and the doctor almost tripped over himself at one point. Fortunately he had not ruined this magnificent piece of craftsmanship with obvious clumsiness. It had seemed like a plain dress when Wire had held it out to him, but it certainly had a spring sort of beauty to it. He wanted to wear it forever.

Opening a nearby closet the doctor was met with a line of clothes kept in pristine condition by magic. What first struck out to him in a sea of small treasures was a bottle of perfume still three quarters full. He quickly squeezed the bottle and tested it. It was a distinguishable sweet scent, like nothing he had smelled before but so alluring and mysterious. This mare had quite the collection.

“Four Leaves. Could you bring my bags and barding over here please?” Romeo asked while browsing the contents of the closet. Maybe somepony in Tenpony had a clothing preservation spell?

With a quick jump Four Leaf had grabbed the items. With ease the earth pony  dragged them over, but he had not gone back to eating. Rather the chocolate brown buck looked expectantly at him.

“Thank you very much.” Romeo cooed back while feeling slightly uncomfortable at the ideas his mind was conjuring up. He truly should have fetched the barding himself but to take his concentration of these stunning dresses were. A hard task to put it mildly. “Sugar-bomb?” He levitated out one not quite knowing what this Four Leaves was expecting of him.

The youngster grabbed at the treat greedily and then ate it. “Why are you so nice Dawn?” He asked halfway into eating.

“Because that is what we are meant to be. Do not let anypony tell you otherwise. Because they are lying and are hurting inside.” After a stern look the doctor went to work at his bags while whistling a happy tune.

Emptying them in record time and then beginning the task of filling them again with the contents of the closet.

For starters, he Pressed the air out of these clothes and wrapped every piece tightly. He had to make sure that it would all end up with him. The dark blue socks with laces. Some spare dresses with overall light and happy colors.

Then he found fetched a prewar bonnet with a blue silk band. Easily wrapping it neatly around his head with no added shame. “You think the bonnet is silly? Not like it is sunny outside.”

“Will you help me find my friend, Dawn?” He shot Romeo the biggest set of puppy dog eyes imaginable.

“Yes.” He smiled, feeling that warmth inside. This was right and fitting. This was what he needed to do. “But first I need to pack.” He gently pressed the last of the clothes into the bottom of his bags and then began putting back inside everything else. Supplies like oats, candy and water. His medical tools and ammo. His tranquilizer dart gun and ten millimeter. Romeo looked towards Four Leaf, letting the Macintosh revolver linger in its chasing.

“It would be harder to run from anything that might try to eat me.” This had been an unusually awkward event in his life, but it was a moment he might look backwards and treasure. The dress was warm and comfortable, and something inside of him refused to be reasonable. Dawn flipped the casing up and pulled out the revolver, flickering at the gun chamber and hearing it click as he oiled it, and began checking the trigger mechanism.

The trigger clicked, and he checked the aim. This monster of a gun intimidated every inch of him. “Such a large barrel.” He whimpered while wrapped in a form of respect and awe. It made his ten millimeter feel like a peashooter. Every bullet pressed into the chamber felt like more of a religious affair. As if he should mutter a prayer for each and hope it would never be used to blow anypony`s head away.

“That sure is one heck of a gun mam.” Four Leaf was staring with awe and respect in his eyes as Romeo clicked the magazine back inside.

“It is.” With deep breaths he put the fully loaded gun to rest as if being hasty with the safety on might make it go off.

“Is it still night outside?” He asked while checking the cracks of a blackened window and then he kicked his doctor's barding. He just couldn't equip it anymore. It just didn't feel right. He looked at the Romeo name tag with a sigh. Carefully wrapping it up and placing it inside the bags with everything else.

The spring dress had pocket`s one on each side. Hiding in the dress like magical invisible pockets.

He pulled out a sugar bomb package and put it in one of the pockets while the gun found its way in the other.

Last but not least the saddle was equipped, and it was a great deal heavier. It was still something he could lift but when combined with the dress running would be impossible. Scorch was right, such an idiot he was. His death would be from being over-encumbered with a dead mares clothing. Fitting.

He pulled out the bonnet strings, and tied it to his head so it would stay there regardless of the wind. “Lets go Four Leaf, into the night. We will find your friend.”

Level up:

Pretty Dress + Matching Earrings: If your act holds water you might find it that everypony wants to be your friend and some might even want to be more than that. +10 to barter and speech if you manage to make a successful pass. Ponies might feel less inclined to talk with you if they find out the truth. [Item Set]

“Thief” 1 Rank (of 3) Prerequisites: PER 5, AGI 5: A keen eye, a swift wit and a little bit of luck can go a long way in the Wastes. In your case, picking pockets and cracking locks just come naturally. With each rank of this perk, gain +5 to both the Lockpick and Sneak skills. On mastery, Force Lock attempts are 10% more likely to succeed and attempts at pick-pocketing are much less likely to be noticed.

“Fortune Finder” 1 Rank Prerequisites: LUK 6: It’s not not just sandwich money anymore. You’ve become a real treasure-seeker and, thanks to a touch of luck, you’ve become more than just a little successful. Now that you actually bother to scrounge through piles of clutter in search of pocket-change, you find more than just a couple caps. Searching for money in the Wastes is now more likely to yield significant returns and some unique dialogue options have been unlocked.

All credits for the setting go to Kkat, author of the original story Fallout Equestria published on Equestria Daily. Please support the sidefic authors that continue to explore her universe: Sidefic Googledoc.

Story is coauthored by Volk, Redundant and Damhoof.

Big hugs to DamnfoolBronyauthor of "Kiss Equestria Goodbye"