How Many Ponies Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?by TheSheepMasterChaptersLarry's UnscrewageLarry, meet Tom. Also, dragons.Dragon Traps and Other CrapFun Fact: Zebras are EvilLarry's UnscrewageLarry the light bulb looked down from his perch atop Twilight Sparkle's nightstand lamp. He was dimming quickly and he knew he didn't have much time before the purple pony found him and threw him away, just like all his brothers and sisters. Larry was the last to be used, so he'd seen every member of his family discarded. It wasn't a happy thought, knowing that his time was almost up as well. Larry did his best to stay as bright as he could, if he did, maybe he could buy himself another day. That would give him time to come up with a plan. He'd seen all of his family thrown in the trash like common street bulbs, and he was not going to go down that easily. Larry was smart. Very smart for a light bulb. The shaking ground beneath him told Larry that something was coming. As quickly as he could, Larry put all of his energy into being the brightest he could be. He cast his glistening light across the room, shining brighter than he had in quite some time. Maybe Larry could hold himself like this for a while longer. The shaking grew louder as the doorknob was turned and the door swung open. It was the dragon. With another heavy surge of energy, Larry forced all the light he could into himself, taking in all of the available electricity and straining himself against the heat. And then there was a pop. Larry flickered a few times before blacking out completely, all of the energy gone and the room once again darkened. Larry was in trouble. The dragon walked over to him, before gently unscrewing him from his cozy socket and exiting the room with Larry in his grasp. Larry could only watch and hope that this wouldn't go wrong in the several hundred ways it could potentially, and most likely would. The dragon proceeded to walk through the hallway and down the stairs, before setting Larry on a counter and walking off. Larry had been saved, if only for the moment. This might give him enough time to think of a way out. He would need to think quickly, though, otherwise the dragon might return and throw him away. Just like that, Larry the light bulb would be history, left to rust and crack in a filthy trash bag as he slowly broke down into tiny particles and died. Larry didn't cry, but if light bulbs could, he would have. Twilight! Do we have anymore light bulbs? The one in your bedroom is out." The dragon would be coming back soon, or worse, the purple pony who had thrown Larry's entire family away. He had to think of an escape plan, and quickly. His best chance was to find a way off the counter and onto the ground. There, he could make a run for the door and try to escape. If he managed to get that far, he would lay low in one of the nearby forests or something until he could think of a way to continue his existence. Maybe he could threaten something powerful and make them change him into a stronger creature so he could finally have a normal life. That would have to wait for later. With a silent prayer to the light bulb god of light bulb-ish destiny, Larry rolled himself off the counter. It wasn't a tall counter, the fact that the dragon had set him there said that much, but Larry was still frightened. He had to land on his tail end, and catch the floor on his metal area. That was his only chance of survival here. As he fell to the ground, Larry realized in a fraction of a second that he was completely, totally screwed. With a smash, pieces of Larry flew all over the floor and across the room, his parts splitting in half from the force of it all. At least, that's what Larry thought would happen. He thought he was a goner, dead, totally smashed, but he wasn't. He was just dangling in the air with a weird almost fluidly purple substance surrounding him on all sides. It took him but a moment to realize he had just been saved from death, by the one who would most likely murder him very soon. Twilight Sparkle frowned. Something was off. She knew she'd told Spike not to set light bulbs down on counters. What if it had fallen, like it most definitely would have, and somepony had cut thier hoof on the glass? She was going to have to have a talk with a certain dragon about being careful. There was something odd about the bulb itself, though yet Twilight couldn't quite place it... "Don't throw me away, you giant stupid horse!" the lig... the lightbulb said. "You murdered my entire family and got away with it, but this one will not go down without a fight, you fricken purple turd! Set me down and let me fight you! I'm a man!" Twilight took a moment to consider several possibilities. The light bulb could have been effected by Discord a while before and had never been changed back. Or, it could have somehow come in contact with one of her spells. And there was always the very unlikely possibility that this was an actual completely natural, talking, and now it was moving too, light bulb. "Say something, you murderer!" the light bulb continued. "Umm..." was the only response Twilight could muster. "Spike! Come here please! I need you to send a letter to Princess Celestia." "I'm busy making something for Rarity! How urgent is this, exactly?" "Just come here, Spike, please," Twilight said as she tried to examine whatever it was that was screaming and moving and threatening and cursing and being a generally not very nice little light bulb. As the dragon re-entered the room, his look of confusion quickly shifted to one of a far more confused confusion. "What is that, Twilight?" "That is a light bulb, Spike." "That is totally not what I meant," the dragon said. "Why is it moving like that? And talking? And calling you a murderer?" "I'll kill you all!" the light bulb continued his screaming and shouting, which all came out surprisingly loud considering his mouth was made of a very thin layer of glass. "I don't know, Spike. I don't know..." So what exactly do you want me to say in this letter? And how exactly is Princess Celestia going to fix this? It takes a lot of magic for her to get here immediately, and this doesn't seem like that big of a problem. Right, Twilight?" "Well, what else am I supposed to do?" Twilight asked. "You do have friends now. I'm sure they might be able to help." "Friends... Would you mind going to get them while I check this out, Spike?" "Let me go, purple wench! I demand it! You murdered my family, now let me fight you!" "Yes, I would mind. I'm very busy today. What about tomorrow?" the dragon said with a clever smile. "Go and get them or I'll tell Rarity that you keep one of her hairs in a plastic bag and sleep with it every night." "Duel me, pony!" "Right away, Twilight. Sorry, Twilight!" And the dragon was out the door, running as fast as his little legs would carry him. When this was all over, he would have to try and find some sort of spell he could use to make Twilight forget a few things. *** Twilight carefully tightened her magic as she sat the bulb back down upon the counter. She wanted to talk to him and see if she could settle this before all her friends came. She might even learn something for the glory of science. In the back of her mind, a ridiculously small piece of Twilight wondered what the heck she was doing with her life. "Are you ready to fight me now!?" the light bulb continued. "No," Twilight said. "I don't want to hurt you at all. Unless I have to, that is. Besides, you don't look like you could do much to me anyway." "If I have to, I'll smash myself under your hooves and let my last sights be your bloodied soles!" "Sorry, but my hooves are made of bone. The worst that would happen is pieces of you getting stuck in me. It wouldn't hurt me at all, though." "Urgghh! Is there nothing I can do to defend myself against this inevitable death that you bring!?" "I'm actually not trying t-" "Owlolicious! Don't get too close to him!" With a careful jump, Larry made his way out of the purple pony's magical field and onto the back of the bird that had come to his rescue. The pony had been just startled enough to weaken her magical pull, and that had been just the right time for Larry. He might just be able to make it. Maybe. Larry grabbed onto the bird and steered it directly towards the face of the purple pony below. If he was right, she'd be just startled enough for there to be enough time for him to get out. He turned away from her at the last moment, narrowly missing her face and twisting himself towards the window a few feet away. Temporarily fazed, Twilight looked over to the open window where the light bulb already was, along with her pet bird. Her own pet bird. "Come back!" she shouted, but it was already too late. "Hi ho, large eyes!" Larry shouted to his new steed as he sailed out of the place of his imprisonment. He would have to come up with a better name for this bird, it might be his companion for a while. When the perfect name came to him, he smiled. Jeff. Your new name is Jeff. Jeff the soul-eating, invincible bird of doom. Or just Jeff the owl. It's your choice, big guy. And Larry and Jeff flew off into the sunset, and Larry knew that this was the start to what would be an amazing adventure. An adventure of life and discovery... and light bulbs. You gotta love the light bulbs. Larry, meet Tom. Also, dragons.The Everfree forest was completely dark. A kind of dark Larry had never before experienced in his life. He knew darkness from his time in the box he came from, but not like this. This was an uncontrolled darkness, and Larry was pretty sure he didn't like it. Jeff had flown down to the ground a few times for breaks, but he seemed more than happy to fly through the night. Jeff knew darkness, and he also knew his way around the forest. Larry was glad of that. At least one of them knew what they were doing. "Stop here!" Larry said as he noticed a small indention in the hillside below. If he was right, he might have found a cave, which would be another awesome stroke of luck, considering Larry was fairly uninterested in the idea of spending the entire night flying around a strange, dark forest, unprotected from lots of dangerous things. A cave would be a most excellent place to sleep. As they got closer to the ground, Larry saw that his suspicions were correct. He had actually managed to find a cave. After reaching the ground, Larry paused for a moment to consider the fact that he was probably the first light bulb to ever go inside this cave. With a smile and a look towards Jeff, Larry walked into the cave, while saying,"One small step for light bulb, one giant leap for light bulb kind." There was something strangely significant about those words, but Larry couldn't quite remember why. When they were both inside the cave, Larry began to notice how much bigger it was than it had seemed. The cave was massive, taking up most of the inside of the hill. Larry had definitely found a good place to spend the night. Maybe he could even stay there and use the cave as some sort of secret lair. That would be a first too. The secret lair of ultimate, wonderful light bulb-ness. It felt so awkward to Larry, not being able to light up the area around him. He had been a light source his entire life, and now that he wasn't... it was like a massive part of him was missing. He would have to figure out a way to make light again at some point. He didn't feel right, not being able to perform his sole function. The cave was strangely lit. Not bright by any means, but there were a few strange flickers of light coming from something. Larry didn't mind. This way he and Jeff could thoroughly examine the cave. They'd figure out what was making the lights later, but until then, they were quite useful to have around. Larry walked back to a far corner and began to move a few leaves into a bed pattern. If he'd be sleeping here, he certainly didn't want to wake up covered in rock scratches. He'd seen what a few scratches could do to a bulb, and Larry very much did not want that for himself. Jeff was staying surprisingly still, his eyes glancing around the cave in some sort of silent curiosity. Other than that, he didn't move at all. Larry was fairly surprised Jeff hadn't flown away by this point. It wasn't like he had any reason to stay with Larry. If anything, it was surprising that he hadn't flown back to his home to reunite with his jerky purple unicorn owner, but he hadn't. Maybe Jeff actually liked Larry. Larry certainly liked Jeff. In a single, sudden movement, Jeff flew upwards to the top of the cave and made one of his calls. When he didn't stop making the noises, Larry paused his work to look up at him, thinking he might need some company and was lonely. Owls need constant attention, after all. What Larry saw would have made him wet his pants if he had been wearing any pants and had anything to wet them with. There was not a single dragon, but two. At least Larry knew where the lights were coming from now. That was one good thing. For another time that day, Larry realized how totally, completely screwed he was. The dragons were both massive in size, and from what Larry knew of biology, they were both female. That was not a good thing. Not at all. Larry's mind flew through his options. This time, there were none. No where to go. The dragons saw him, and were advancing on him. There was no way in light bulb hell Jeff was going to save his neck this time. So Larry remembered the thing he'd done the last time he'd been in grave danger. He had prayed. "Oh dear Mr. Edison, if you can hear me, sir... please save Jeff and I. I've gotten so far, and... and I don't want to die, Mr. Edison. Please help me," Larry said as the dragons came faster towards him. He knew his life was over. There was no way out of this one at all. "Please, oh great bulb creator!" And then, something strange happened. Strange even for a talking, walking light bulb living in a land of magical ponies. One of the rocks moved. It wasn't a big rock, but it was big enough, about the size of the dragon's heads. And it was flying through the air, straight towards both dragons and Larry. Larry took the moment he had to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction of the flying boulder, and it missed him by a few feet. The dragons, though, did not manage to avoid the rock at all, and they were both knocked over from the force. They didn't seem too wounded, so Larry ran as fast as he could, and at the entrance of the cave, he saw Jeff, and the boulder that had rolled to the side after hitting the dragons. Larry kept running. He ran through the entrance of the cave and out into the forest as fast as his little legs would carry him. He was once again, safe. At least for the moment. Larry shouted for joy when he saw Jeff again, and ran over to make sure he was fine. That's when he noticed the other one who was with them. The boulder was rolling along beside them at the same pace they were walking. A very strange boulder, indeed. Larry smiled towards the rock. "I don't know what the heck you are, Sir Boulder, but thank you. Thank you so much for saving our lives." There was a flash of light as the boulder grew taller and thinner, and lost his rocky look entirely. Larry watched as pieces of rock flew off the boulder and were replaced with a much softer looking substance. When the body had finished changing, the one who had been a boulder looked down at Larry and Jeff, and chuckled. "My name is Tom," he said. "But, if you really want to, you can call me Mr. Edison." Larry fell backwards into a pile of leaves and lost consciousness. Meeting a god can do that to a light bulb. Jeff flew up onto Mr. Edison's shoulder. *** Twilight was worried. Spike hadn't returned from getting her friends, and it had been hours. Twilight knew she hadn't really been the nicest to Spike the last time they spoke, but given the situation she had assumed he would understand. Twilight was learning yet another lesson from this: never assume. Never. Maybe she could get Spike to write a letter to the princess when he finally did come back. Until then, she would keep researching light bulbs. Besides, Spike would be fine by himself for a while. He wasn't a baby dragon anymore. Author's Note Author's notes suck. Dragon Traps and Other CrapSpike was not fine by himself. In fact, he was doing very not very good at the moment. He had gotten himself stuck in some sort of critter trap on his way to Fluttershy's, and even though the trap itself wasn't hurting him due to his hard layer of natural armor, Spike wasn't having the best time ever by any means. He'd been stuck for what felt like decades at this point, but he suspected it had been more like a couple of hours. Spike didn't really know, he was far too hungry, tired, and stuck to think about time. If only he had a gem or two with him, he might feel more inclined to enjoy the situation. As it was, he was stuck without food, water, or the purple problem fixer he usually had with him. Assuming he wouldn't get out of the trap before morning, Spike knew it was going to be a long, cold, gem-less night, and he wasn't very happy about that at all. As it was, he was passing the time attempting to cut through the metal cage surrounding him and calling for help. He really missed Twilight, she had the gems. As the sky grew darker and darker, Spike ceased his shouting and forced all of his energy onto escaping the cage. It wasn't a big cage, but unfortunately for Spike, it was big enough. The air was chilly too, and even with Spike's naturally heated body, he was beginning to get cold. He'd just have to make it through the cage. Spike immersed the steel around him with flames, glimmering blue and yellow from their impressively hot temperature. The metal wasn't faltering though, not even a bit. If anything, it seemed to Spike like he was just wasting energy. It was time he called it a night. Perhaps he was lucky he had been caught in a cage rather than a pit or a tree trap. This way he would at least be somewhat protected from the nature around him. There were just a few, few times that Spike almost wished he was a big, strong, powerful fire hurling death dragon of ultimate doom-ness. This was one of those times. *** When Larry woke up, he found himself in some sort of house. Some sort of pony house. This was not good, just like most of the other things that had happened to Larry in his recent life. He saw no ponies, and there weren't any creatures at all around him. Jeff... he had to find Jeff. As he started to get up to find his friend, Larry noticed yet another problem. There was a door between him and any chance of escape. A big door with a handle which made it ridiculously hard for anything other than a unicorn to open it. Larry wasn't getting out of the room, and while he was in the room, there would be no finding Jeff. He walked over to the door. It was big, even for a normal pony door. And the handle was slightly different than any he'd ever seen. Maybe different enough that he could turn it. The handle was almost exactly like any unicorn handle, except for a single big difference. It had some sort of rubber like material over it. Some substance to make it easier to turn, likely made for earth ponies to open with their mouths. Larry might be able to reach it, if he had a ladder or a tall stool of some sort. He would have to try and find something. He had to save Jeff, and he wasn't sure he could count on Mr. Edison any more. There was a good chance their last encounter had been just an illusion anyway. With that thought, Larry looked around the room. It wasn't a very big room, but it had a lot of things in it. There were lots of candles and vials hanging from the ceiling with pieces of string, as well as pins stuck all over the walls to attach papers and maps to them. Larry then had an idea. A risky, dangerous sort of idea, but an idea nonetheless. Larry reached up as far as he could, straining his arms against his body as he gripped onto the nearest pin and pulled himself upwards. He could already tell that this was going to be hard and possibly not worth it, but he had to do this to save Jeff, so he continued. He reached out his other arm, pushing himself completely off the ground with his legs and shooting up to the next level. He was getting somewhere. As he reached for the pin above his head, his heart raced with a swiftly deepening fear. Something on the other side was opening the door. Larry had two options. He could let the fear shock him enough to make him fall from his precarious footing, and that would be very bad, or, he could man up and hold on tight like a man bulb. The door swung open beside Larry, and behind it stood a strange looking creature. It was very much like an earth pony, but white with its entirety covered with black stripes. It would have been rather interesting to Larry actually, had he not been in the position he was in when he saw it. And then the creature walked in, and looked at him. Larry didn't know if he should be happy that the creature was laughing so hard it was shaking the room, or scared for his life, but Larry had been through crap, so he just hung there and smiled at the creature. The type of smile only a light bulb could smile. *** Twilight was really, really worried. None of her books said anything about light bulbs coming to life, not even anything like that. And there was also the minor problem that Spike had been gone for over four hours and it was nighttime. What was worse, she needed Spike to get her friends. They'd probably have something to say about all of this. Twilight spent another hour looking through her books again before she heard the front door being opened. She almost didn't notice it, but she did. "Yes! You're here! Spike, what took you so long?" she asked, turning to the dragon as he entered the room. "I don't want to talk about it," Spike replied. "What? Why not? Wh... oh." "Yes, it's about as uncomfortable as it looks." "But how did you get it stuck like that? And...oh, Spike. Whatever happened to you? Was it the light bulb?" "No, Twilight, it was just a trap. Now could you please help me get this cage off of me?" Twilight pushed her magic through her horn and out onto the cage which was completely covering Spike's body. The only thing outside the cage were his feet, which he'd somehow been able to make holes for. With a screech and a yelp from the dragon, the cage came right off him, scraping against his armor and grinding against him on the way out. When it was over, Spike felt like he had scraped his finger nails across glass, except that his entire body felt this way. It was very much not a good feeling. When he was in full view, Twilight could see that he was caked in dirt, mud, grass and other stuff. "You're going to tell me exactly what happened," she said. "How did this happen to you?" "I just slipped and fell, Twilight. The trap was off to the side of the road and the way it was shining it kinda looked like a gem. I figured out that hard way that that wasn't the case. I guess shiny things aren't always good things after all," Spike said. "Yeah... that might be something good to remember for the future. Did you just stay trapped like that for all this time?" "Yes. I spent all evening trying to get out of the cage. May I tell you all about it tomorrow instead of tonight, Twilight? I've had a really long day." *** Zecora was staring, wide eyed, at what might be the funniest looking creature she had ever seen. For once, she didn't think she could come up with a good rhyme for the situation. Author's Note I like the word "uvula" a lot. Fun Fact: Zebras are EvilZecora just couldn't stop laughing. There was a light bulb trying to climb her wall. And now it was just holding on, staring at her with an awkward smile on its face, and trying its hardest not to lose its grip and fall. It wasn't every day that a zebra got to see a living light bulb, so Zecora was intrigued to say the least. When she finally stopped her zebrish giggling, she bent down to more closely inspect the creature. Its body was completely see through, and the only sign that it was somehow alive were its still twitching arms and legs, which were trying their best to stay attached to the pins they were on. For a second time in her life, Zecora had found a creature she knew absolutely nothing about, and she wanted to know more. She left the room for a few moments, leaving the light bulb to dangle in his awkward position. In retrospect, Larry rather regretted his choice to climb the walls. It wasn't a very good idea, really. There would have been plenty of other ways to save Jeff. Why had he decided to climb the walls... When Zecora returned, her hooves were covered in a soft, blanket like material. After taking another good look at the light bulb on the wall, she reached down and carefully grabbed it in her forehoof, leaving Larry with no choice but to let go, or risk dying in a very painful manor. She proceeded to walk out of the room on three legs, using the fourth to hold up Larry. While the moment wasn't by any means fun for the light bulb, he was too tired and scared to protest. Also, she wasn't doing that bad of a job of keeping Larry balanced. Maybe she actually knew what she was doing. The house turned out to be significantly smaller than Larry had expected. It was huge compared to him, but nothing like the library-tree he'd spent the majority of his life in. In truth, this was probably the smallest house Larry had seen the inside of. When the zebra finally sat him down, Larry noticed that he was once again up on a table, which to Larry was about the same as a sky-prison, as the only way down was by zebra or by death. Larry wasn't going to die. His life was far, far too interesting for that to happen. And there was no way he'd let himself lose his existence from this, rather than the millions of other awesome ways he could go out. Yeah, he was just going to stay on the table. Using his see-through body, he'd blend in like a ninja. So Larry sat down on the table and frowned. He felt no need to hide his feelings toward his situation any longer. Really, this was the second in a series of really not very fun days Larry had had. Why was life so cruel to him? Zecora was still examining him, but from the distance, simply watching the creature to see what he would do. She had really wanted him to do something other than sit and frown, but if that was what he wanted to do, then Zecora would watch. Watching was always the first thing she did when she got to know a creature. She liked to see how fast it took them to crack under pressure. Unfortunately, the light bulb wasn't doing much at all. It just stayed in the center of the table, frowning at her and leaning back. There was a comment about unwanted splinters, but other than that, nothing. So Zecora brought in some motivation. "Do you want to see your flying friend? Because I have him in this bin!" Zecora said as she pushed a large basket over to the table Larry was on. When she walked over and opened it, Larry once again saw Jeff. His friend appeared to be safe. Larry genuinely smiled for a moment, before looking down to the rest of the basket, and seeing what else was with Jeff... Jeff's wings were extended and in them, he held a deck of cards. On both sides of him there were several lady-owls who Jeff really seemed to be enjoying the company of. And on the opposite side of the basket from Jeff there were several owl sized drinks, which all appeared to be alcoholic, as well as some grains and things for him to eat. The bottom of the basket was covered in a deep red carpet, and the sides were coated in a frilly golden ribbon. Where Larry had been scared for his friend, he now stood rather curious as to what the frickin heck was going on. Also, why was Jeff getting the fun box? The Zebra proceeded to slide the basket back away from Larry and put the lid back on. Which had, typed in bold print, "What happens in the box, stays in the box," printed on to it. Larry would facepalm, but that would probably hurt his face. "Fine!" Larry said. "What do you want me to do?" "I want to see you talk and move," she said. "Go and obtain your light bulb groove." "You speak in rhymes?" Larry asked. "Is that like a thing for you? 'Cause it's kinda really weird." "I like to rhyme a lot, young light bulb, now go and move, and be a light bulb." "Seriously? You just rhymed "light bulb" with "light bulb"? Why would you even do that?" Larry asked inquisitively. "I'm not the best, at making rhymes, I just do it to pass the time." "Yeah, maybe you should choose another hobby then. I mean I'm sorry, but you really aren't that good at it." "No pony ever insults me, now take that back before I rage at thee!" "Meh, that's fine. I'm not a pony anyway. I'm a freaking light bulb! Maybe you'll remember me!" Larry shouted as he jumped from the table and onto the back of the zebra who had come a little too close to him in her excitement and was now paying the price for it. "Have you ever been beat up by a light bulb, tyrant stripes? 'Cause today's the day!" Running quickly down her back, Larry found the cloth he was looking for. The one the zebra had used to pick him up earlier. As he reached down to her leg to grab it, she used her legs to buck him up in the air, where Larry, still holding the cloth in his hands, came down hard on the zebra's neck. He was locked in an awkward position now. He was hanging on by a cloth, with his feet in an evil zebra's neck, looking her in the eyes and feeling her angered breath on his outer layer. Larry was beginning to think he was set out for this adventure stuff after all. He was one of the strongest light bulbs he knew, and while all this stuff was scary, a part of it was almost fun. He had to remind himself, he was epic ninja bulb, there was no stopping him. He was the light bulb of destiny! Still locked onto the zebra's angry face, Larry looked her dead in the eyes, smiled, and used all his strength to loosen the cloth and swing under her body, hard, while yelling as loud as he could, "you can't rhyme!" Larry chuckled. Nasty zebras were no match for him. He was strong, fierce, and powerful. Swinging up through her hind legs and onto her back again, Larry wrapped the cloth rope around her body as tight as he could. Larry then kicked off her back and landed on the floor, where he ran out the cracked door to her hut and into the forest, where he thought up a plan. *** Spike was having a nice morning, and it almost made up for what had happened the night before. Twilight had almost completely covered him in bandages for his wounds, and made him breakfast, and given him a few of the "good" gems, and was even writing to the princess herself for a change. Something about needing to brush up on her writing skills anyway. But best of all. Best of all Twilight had invited ...Rarity, to have breakfast with them. Now that is a good morning for a dragon. When they were done with breakfast, Spike went once again, but this time accompanied by Twilight and Rarity, to find Twilight's friends, since unsurprisingly, Rarity hadn't known anything about animate light bulbs - even though the idea of one have her a "brilliant" fashion idea - they decided to go to Fluttershy's first. If anypony was going to know something about this, it would be her. As they made their way to their freind's cottage, Spike made sure to stay close to Twilight, and especially Rarity. If he was going to go down again, he wanted his last sight before imprisonment to be something beautiful, or in Twilight's case, someone he cared deeply for. He would kinda prefer to see Rarity in that situation, though... The dirt road was matted with hoofprints from hundreds of years and thousands of ponies. Twilight decided to talk about this and the ways time changes things, but Rarity was concerned about her hooves getting too dirty. Spike was just staring at Rarity, and thinking of how beautiful she looked in the bright sunlight, and the way it glistened off her hair with such elegance. So not one of them noticed when a zebra ran through the clearing in front of them while shouting some sort of rhyme about a terrible light bulb. Spike certainly didn't notice. No mortal sound would distract him from the glorious essence of his lady's mane. Twilight didn't notice because she was far too busy admiring the time-worn road they were standing in the middle of. And Rarity didn't notice, because she was complaining about her hooves and what the dirt would do to them, all while secretly noticing the little dragon below, awkwardly staring at her and unconsciously making kissy faces. The only one who did notice was a squirrel in one of the trees, who in a past life had been a human residing on the planet Earth, named Bear Grylls. Nopony understood his chirpy squirrel noises, but he did, and that's what mattered. "And here you notice the zebra in its natural habitat. Watch as it moves in its unusual pattern, running for its life from the carnivore behind it. Let's see what we have here. A mountain lion? A cheetah? Blimey, it's a light bulb. That's something you don't see every day, folks." The squirrel scurried off to find some nuts, while thinking about what parts of the light bulb could be edible. He would really have to look into that at some point. Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and the midget purple dragon all finally noticed the screaming zebra when it hit them, literally. Zecora had been too occupied with her - and it was actually really hard to do right - rhyme screaming, and looking behind her to make sure the light bulb wasn't gaining on her. She was a genuinely scared little zebra, and she needed someone to hold her. As it turned out, she was in luck. She landed on the two ponies and the dragon with a smash, and suddenly, she wasn't the only one screaming. They didn't have to do it in rhymes though, lucky them. With a leap to the top of the pony/zebra/dragon pile, a certain lightbulb stood tall, arching his back up and shouting out as loud as he could, "I am Larry the light bulb, hyper ninja defeater of all!" And the destiny was fierce that day. Author's Note A wonderful friend has done something wonderful for me.
Larry's UnscrewageLarry the light bulb looked down from his perch atop Twilight Sparkle's nightstand lamp. He was dimming quickly and he knew he didn't have much time before the purple pony found him and threw him away, just like all his brothers and sisters. Larry was the last to be used, so he'd seen every member of his family discarded. It wasn't a happy thought, knowing that his time was almost up as well. Larry did his best to stay as bright as he could, if he did, maybe he could buy himself another day. That would give him time to come up with a plan. He'd seen all of his family thrown in the trash like common street bulbs, and he was not going to go down that easily. Larry was smart. Very smart for a light bulb. The shaking ground beneath him told Larry that something was coming. As quickly as he could, Larry put all of his energy into being the brightest he could be. He cast his glistening light across the room, shining brighter than he had in quite some time. Maybe Larry could hold himself like this for a while longer. The shaking grew louder as the doorknob was turned and the door swung open. It was the dragon. With another heavy surge of energy, Larry forced all the light he could into himself, taking in all of the available electricity and straining himself against the heat. And then there was a pop. Larry flickered a few times before blacking out completely, all of the energy gone and the room once again darkened. Larry was in trouble. The dragon walked over to him, before gently unscrewing him from his cozy socket and exiting the room with Larry in his grasp. Larry could only watch and hope that this wouldn't go wrong in the several hundred ways it could potentially, and most likely would. The dragon proceeded to walk through the hallway and down the stairs, before setting Larry on a counter and walking off. Larry had been saved, if only for the moment. This might give him enough time to think of a way out. He would need to think quickly, though, otherwise the dragon might return and throw him away. Just like that, Larry the light bulb would be history, left to rust and crack in a filthy trash bag as he slowly broke down into tiny particles and died. Larry didn't cry, but if light bulbs could, he would have. Twilight! Do we have anymore light bulbs? The one in your bedroom is out." The dragon would be coming back soon, or worse, the purple pony who had thrown Larry's entire family away. He had to think of an escape plan, and quickly. His best chance was to find a way off the counter and onto the ground. There, he could make a run for the door and try to escape. If he managed to get that far, he would lay low in one of the nearby forests or something until he could think of a way to continue his existence. Maybe he could threaten something powerful and make them change him into a stronger creature so he could finally have a normal life. That would have to wait for later. With a silent prayer to the light bulb god of light bulb-ish destiny, Larry rolled himself off the counter. It wasn't a tall counter, the fact that the dragon had set him there said that much, but Larry was still frightened. He had to land on his tail end, and catch the floor on his metal area. That was his only chance of survival here. As he fell to the ground, Larry realized in a fraction of a second that he was completely, totally screwed. With a smash, pieces of Larry flew all over the floor and across the room, his parts splitting in half from the force of it all. At least, that's what Larry thought would happen. He thought he was a goner, dead, totally smashed, but he wasn't. He was just dangling in the air with a weird almost fluidly purple substance surrounding him on all sides. It took him but a moment to realize he had just been saved from death, by the one who would most likely murder him very soon. Twilight Sparkle frowned. Something was off. She knew she'd told Spike not to set light bulbs down on counters. What if it had fallen, like it most definitely would have, and somepony had cut thier hoof on the glass? She was going to have to have a talk with a certain dragon about being careful. There was something odd about the bulb itself, though yet Twilight couldn't quite place it... "Don't throw me away, you giant stupid horse!" the lig... the lightbulb said. "You murdered my entire family and got away with it, but this one will not go down without a fight, you fricken purple turd! Set me down and let me fight you! I'm a man!" Twilight took a moment to consider several possibilities. The light bulb could have been effected by Discord a while before and had never been changed back. Or, it could have somehow come in contact with one of her spells. And there was always the very unlikely possibility that this was an actual completely natural, talking, and now it was moving too, light bulb. "Say something, you murderer!" the light bulb continued. "Umm..." was the only response Twilight could muster. "Spike! Come here please! I need you to send a letter to Princess Celestia." "I'm busy making something for Rarity! How urgent is this, exactly?" "Just come here, Spike, please," Twilight said as she tried to examine whatever it was that was screaming and moving and threatening and cursing and being a generally not very nice little light bulb. As the dragon re-entered the room, his look of confusion quickly shifted to one of a far more confused confusion. "What is that, Twilight?" "That is a light bulb, Spike." "That is totally not what I meant," the dragon said. "Why is it moving like that? And talking? And calling you a murderer?" "I'll kill you all!" the light bulb continued his screaming and shouting, which all came out surprisingly loud considering his mouth was made of a very thin layer of glass. "I don't know, Spike. I don't know..." So what exactly do you want me to say in this letter? And how exactly is Princess Celestia going to fix this? It takes a lot of magic for her to get here immediately, and this doesn't seem like that big of a problem. Right, Twilight?" "Well, what else am I supposed to do?" Twilight asked. "You do have friends now. I'm sure they might be able to help." "Friends... Would you mind going to get them while I check this out, Spike?" "Let me go, purple wench! I demand it! You murdered my family, now let me fight you!" "Yes, I would mind. I'm very busy today. What about tomorrow?" the dragon said with a clever smile. "Go and get them or I'll tell Rarity that you keep one of her hairs in a plastic bag and sleep with it every night." "Duel me, pony!" "Right away, Twilight. Sorry, Twilight!" And the dragon was out the door, running as fast as his little legs would carry him. When this was all over, he would have to try and find some sort of spell he could use to make Twilight forget a few things. *** Twilight carefully tightened her magic as she sat the bulb back down upon the counter. She wanted to talk to him and see if she could settle this before all her friends came. She might even learn something for the glory of science. In the back of her mind, a ridiculously small piece of Twilight wondered what the heck she was doing with her life. "Are you ready to fight me now!?" the light bulb continued. "No," Twilight said. "I don't want to hurt you at all. Unless I have to, that is. Besides, you don't look like you could do much to me anyway." "If I have to, I'll smash myself under your hooves and let my last sights be your bloodied soles!" "Sorry, but my hooves are made of bone. The worst that would happen is pieces of you getting stuck in me. It wouldn't hurt me at all, though." "Urgghh! Is there nothing I can do to defend myself against this inevitable death that you bring!?" "I'm actually not trying t-" "Owlolicious! Don't get too close to him!" With a careful jump, Larry made his way out of the purple pony's magical field and onto the back of the bird that had come to his rescue. The pony had been just startled enough to weaken her magical pull, and that had been just the right time for Larry. He might just be able to make it. Maybe. Larry grabbed onto the bird and steered it directly towards the face of the purple pony below. If he was right, she'd be just startled enough for there to be enough time for him to get out. He turned away from her at the last moment, narrowly missing her face and twisting himself towards the window a few feet away. Temporarily fazed, Twilight looked over to the open window where the light bulb already was, along with her pet bird. Her own pet bird. "Come back!" she shouted, but it was already too late. "Hi ho, large eyes!" Larry shouted to his new steed as he sailed out of the place of his imprisonment. He would have to come up with a better name for this bird, it might be his companion for a while. When the perfect name came to him, he smiled. Jeff. Your new name is Jeff. Jeff the soul-eating, invincible bird of doom. Or just Jeff the owl. It's your choice, big guy. And Larry and Jeff flew off into the sunset, and Larry knew that this was the start to what would be an amazing adventure. An adventure of life and discovery... and light bulbs. You gotta love the light bulbs.
Larry, meet Tom. Also, dragons.The Everfree forest was completely dark. A kind of dark Larry had never before experienced in his life. He knew darkness from his time in the box he came from, but not like this. This was an uncontrolled darkness, and Larry was pretty sure he didn't like it. Jeff had flown down to the ground a few times for breaks, but he seemed more than happy to fly through the night. Jeff knew darkness, and he also knew his way around the forest. Larry was glad of that. At least one of them knew what they were doing. "Stop here!" Larry said as he noticed a small indention in the hillside below. If he was right, he might have found a cave, which would be another awesome stroke of luck, considering Larry was fairly uninterested in the idea of spending the entire night flying around a strange, dark forest, unprotected from lots of dangerous things. A cave would be a most excellent place to sleep. As they got closer to the ground, Larry saw that his suspicions were correct. He had actually managed to find a cave. After reaching the ground, Larry paused for a moment to consider the fact that he was probably the first light bulb to ever go inside this cave. With a smile and a look towards Jeff, Larry walked into the cave, while saying,"One small step for light bulb, one giant leap for light bulb kind." There was something strangely significant about those words, but Larry couldn't quite remember why. When they were both inside the cave, Larry began to notice how much bigger it was than it had seemed. The cave was massive, taking up most of the inside of the hill. Larry had definitely found a good place to spend the night. Maybe he could even stay there and use the cave as some sort of secret lair. That would be a first too. The secret lair of ultimate, wonderful light bulb-ness. It felt so awkward to Larry, not being able to light up the area around him. He had been a light source his entire life, and now that he wasn't... it was like a massive part of him was missing. He would have to figure out a way to make light again at some point. He didn't feel right, not being able to perform his sole function. The cave was strangely lit. Not bright by any means, but there were a few strange flickers of light coming from something. Larry didn't mind. This way he and Jeff could thoroughly examine the cave. They'd figure out what was making the lights later, but until then, they were quite useful to have around. Larry walked back to a far corner and began to move a few leaves into a bed pattern. If he'd be sleeping here, he certainly didn't want to wake up covered in rock scratches. He'd seen what a few scratches could do to a bulb, and Larry very much did not want that for himself. Jeff was staying surprisingly still, his eyes glancing around the cave in some sort of silent curiosity. Other than that, he didn't move at all. Larry was fairly surprised Jeff hadn't flown away by this point. It wasn't like he had any reason to stay with Larry. If anything, it was surprising that he hadn't flown back to his home to reunite with his jerky purple unicorn owner, but he hadn't. Maybe Jeff actually liked Larry. Larry certainly liked Jeff. In a single, sudden movement, Jeff flew upwards to the top of the cave and made one of his calls. When he didn't stop making the noises, Larry paused his work to look up at him, thinking he might need some company and was lonely. Owls need constant attention, after all. What Larry saw would have made him wet his pants if he had been wearing any pants and had anything to wet them with. There was not a single dragon, but two. At least Larry knew where the lights were coming from now. That was one good thing. For another time that day, Larry realized how totally, completely screwed he was. The dragons were both massive in size, and from what Larry knew of biology, they were both female. That was not a good thing. Not at all. Larry's mind flew through his options. This time, there were none. No where to go. The dragons saw him, and were advancing on him. There was no way in light bulb hell Jeff was going to save his neck this time. So Larry remembered the thing he'd done the last time he'd been in grave danger. He had prayed. "Oh dear Mr. Edison, if you can hear me, sir... please save Jeff and I. I've gotten so far, and... and I don't want to die, Mr. Edison. Please help me," Larry said as the dragons came faster towards him. He knew his life was over. There was no way out of this one at all. "Please, oh great bulb creator!" And then, something strange happened. Strange even for a talking, walking light bulb living in a land of magical ponies. One of the rocks moved. It wasn't a big rock, but it was big enough, about the size of the dragon's heads. And it was flying through the air, straight towards both dragons and Larry. Larry took the moment he had to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction of the flying boulder, and it missed him by a few feet. The dragons, though, did not manage to avoid the rock at all, and they were both knocked over from the force. They didn't seem too wounded, so Larry ran as fast as he could, and at the entrance of the cave, he saw Jeff, and the boulder that had rolled to the side after hitting the dragons. Larry kept running. He ran through the entrance of the cave and out into the forest as fast as his little legs would carry him. He was once again, safe. At least for the moment. Larry shouted for joy when he saw Jeff again, and ran over to make sure he was fine. That's when he noticed the other one who was with them. The boulder was rolling along beside them at the same pace they were walking. A very strange boulder, indeed. Larry smiled towards the rock. "I don't know what the heck you are, Sir Boulder, but thank you. Thank you so much for saving our lives." There was a flash of light as the boulder grew taller and thinner, and lost his rocky look entirely. Larry watched as pieces of rock flew off the boulder and were replaced with a much softer looking substance. When the body had finished changing, the one who had been a boulder looked down at Larry and Jeff, and chuckled. "My name is Tom," he said. "But, if you really want to, you can call me Mr. Edison." Larry fell backwards into a pile of leaves and lost consciousness. Meeting a god can do that to a light bulb. Jeff flew up onto Mr. Edison's shoulder. *** Twilight was worried. Spike hadn't returned from getting her friends, and it had been hours. Twilight knew she hadn't really been the nicest to Spike the last time they spoke, but given the situation she had assumed he would understand. Twilight was learning yet another lesson from this: never assume. Never. Maybe she could get Spike to write a letter to the princess when he finally did come back. Until then, she would keep researching light bulbs. Besides, Spike would be fine by himself for a while. He wasn't a baby dragon anymore. Author's Note Author's notes suck.
Dragon Traps and Other CrapSpike was not fine by himself. In fact, he was doing very not very good at the moment. He had gotten himself stuck in some sort of critter trap on his way to Fluttershy's, and even though the trap itself wasn't hurting him due to his hard layer of natural armor, Spike wasn't having the best time ever by any means. He'd been stuck for what felt like decades at this point, but he suspected it had been more like a couple of hours. Spike didn't really know, he was far too hungry, tired, and stuck to think about time. If only he had a gem or two with him, he might feel more inclined to enjoy the situation. As it was, he was stuck without food, water, or the purple problem fixer he usually had with him. Assuming he wouldn't get out of the trap before morning, Spike knew it was going to be a long, cold, gem-less night, and he wasn't very happy about that at all. As it was, he was passing the time attempting to cut through the metal cage surrounding him and calling for help. He really missed Twilight, she had the gems. As the sky grew darker and darker, Spike ceased his shouting and forced all of his energy onto escaping the cage. It wasn't a big cage, but unfortunately for Spike, it was big enough. The air was chilly too, and even with Spike's naturally heated body, he was beginning to get cold. He'd just have to make it through the cage. Spike immersed the steel around him with flames, glimmering blue and yellow from their impressively hot temperature. The metal wasn't faltering though, not even a bit. If anything, it seemed to Spike like he was just wasting energy. It was time he called it a night. Perhaps he was lucky he had been caught in a cage rather than a pit or a tree trap. This way he would at least be somewhat protected from the nature around him. There were just a few, few times that Spike almost wished he was a big, strong, powerful fire hurling death dragon of ultimate doom-ness. This was one of those times. *** When Larry woke up, he found himself in some sort of house. Some sort of pony house. This was not good, just like most of the other things that had happened to Larry in his recent life. He saw no ponies, and there weren't any creatures at all around him. Jeff... he had to find Jeff. As he started to get up to find his friend, Larry noticed yet another problem. There was a door between him and any chance of escape. A big door with a handle which made it ridiculously hard for anything other than a unicorn to open it. Larry wasn't getting out of the room, and while he was in the room, there would be no finding Jeff. He walked over to the door. It was big, even for a normal pony door. And the handle was slightly different than any he'd ever seen. Maybe different enough that he could turn it. The handle was almost exactly like any unicorn handle, except for a single big difference. It had some sort of rubber like material over it. Some substance to make it easier to turn, likely made for earth ponies to open with their mouths. Larry might be able to reach it, if he had a ladder or a tall stool of some sort. He would have to try and find something. He had to save Jeff, and he wasn't sure he could count on Mr. Edison any more. There was a good chance their last encounter had been just an illusion anyway. With that thought, Larry looked around the room. It wasn't a very big room, but it had a lot of things in it. There were lots of candles and vials hanging from the ceiling with pieces of string, as well as pins stuck all over the walls to attach papers and maps to them. Larry then had an idea. A risky, dangerous sort of idea, but an idea nonetheless. Larry reached up as far as he could, straining his arms against his body as he gripped onto the nearest pin and pulled himself upwards. He could already tell that this was going to be hard and possibly not worth it, but he had to do this to save Jeff, so he continued. He reached out his other arm, pushing himself completely off the ground with his legs and shooting up to the next level. He was getting somewhere. As he reached for the pin above his head, his heart raced with a swiftly deepening fear. Something on the other side was opening the door. Larry had two options. He could let the fear shock him enough to make him fall from his precarious footing, and that would be very bad, or, he could man up and hold on tight like a man bulb. The door swung open beside Larry, and behind it stood a strange looking creature. It was very much like an earth pony, but white with its entirety covered with black stripes. It would have been rather interesting to Larry actually, had he not been in the position he was in when he saw it. And then the creature walked in, and looked at him. Larry didn't know if he should be happy that the creature was laughing so hard it was shaking the room, or scared for his life, but Larry had been through crap, so he just hung there and smiled at the creature. The type of smile only a light bulb could smile. *** Twilight was really, really worried. None of her books said anything about light bulbs coming to life, not even anything like that. And there was also the minor problem that Spike had been gone for over four hours and it was nighttime. What was worse, she needed Spike to get her friends. They'd probably have something to say about all of this. Twilight spent another hour looking through her books again before she heard the front door being opened. She almost didn't notice it, but she did. "Yes! You're here! Spike, what took you so long?" she asked, turning to the dragon as he entered the room. "I don't want to talk about it," Spike replied. "What? Why not? Wh... oh." "Yes, it's about as uncomfortable as it looks." "But how did you get it stuck like that? And...oh, Spike. Whatever happened to you? Was it the light bulb?" "No, Twilight, it was just a trap. Now could you please help me get this cage off of me?" Twilight pushed her magic through her horn and out onto the cage which was completely covering Spike's body. The only thing outside the cage were his feet, which he'd somehow been able to make holes for. With a screech and a yelp from the dragon, the cage came right off him, scraping against his armor and grinding against him on the way out. When it was over, Spike felt like he had scraped his finger nails across glass, except that his entire body felt this way. It was very much not a good feeling. When he was in full view, Twilight could see that he was caked in dirt, mud, grass and other stuff. "You're going to tell me exactly what happened," she said. "How did this happen to you?" "I just slipped and fell, Twilight. The trap was off to the side of the road and the way it was shining it kinda looked like a gem. I figured out that hard way that that wasn't the case. I guess shiny things aren't always good things after all," Spike said. "Yeah... that might be something good to remember for the future. Did you just stay trapped like that for all this time?" "Yes. I spent all evening trying to get out of the cage. May I tell you all about it tomorrow instead of tonight, Twilight? I've had a really long day." *** Zecora was staring, wide eyed, at what might be the funniest looking creature she had ever seen. For once, she didn't think she could come up with a good rhyme for the situation. Author's Note I like the word "uvula" a lot.
Fun Fact: Zebras are EvilZecora just couldn't stop laughing. There was a light bulb trying to climb her wall. And now it was just holding on, staring at her with an awkward smile on its face, and trying its hardest not to lose its grip and fall. It wasn't every day that a zebra got to see a living light bulb, so Zecora was intrigued to say the least. When she finally stopped her zebrish giggling, she bent down to more closely inspect the creature. Its body was completely see through, and the only sign that it was somehow alive were its still twitching arms and legs, which were trying their best to stay attached to the pins they were on. For a second time in her life, Zecora had found a creature she knew absolutely nothing about, and she wanted to know more. She left the room for a few moments, leaving the light bulb to dangle in his awkward position. In retrospect, Larry rather regretted his choice to climb the walls. It wasn't a very good idea, really. There would have been plenty of other ways to save Jeff. Why had he decided to climb the walls... When Zecora returned, her hooves were covered in a soft, blanket like material. After taking another good look at the light bulb on the wall, she reached down and carefully grabbed it in her forehoof, leaving Larry with no choice but to let go, or risk dying in a very painful manor. She proceeded to walk out of the room on three legs, using the fourth to hold up Larry. While the moment wasn't by any means fun for the light bulb, he was too tired and scared to protest. Also, she wasn't doing that bad of a job of keeping Larry balanced. Maybe she actually knew what she was doing. The house turned out to be significantly smaller than Larry had expected. It was huge compared to him, but nothing like the library-tree he'd spent the majority of his life in. In truth, this was probably the smallest house Larry had seen the inside of. When the zebra finally sat him down, Larry noticed that he was once again up on a table, which to Larry was about the same as a sky-prison, as the only way down was by zebra or by death. Larry wasn't going to die. His life was far, far too interesting for that to happen. And there was no way he'd let himself lose his existence from this, rather than the millions of other awesome ways he could go out. Yeah, he was just going to stay on the table. Using his see-through body, he'd blend in like a ninja. So Larry sat down on the table and frowned. He felt no need to hide his feelings toward his situation any longer. Really, this was the second in a series of really not very fun days Larry had had. Why was life so cruel to him? Zecora was still examining him, but from the distance, simply watching the creature to see what he would do. She had really wanted him to do something other than sit and frown, but if that was what he wanted to do, then Zecora would watch. Watching was always the first thing she did when she got to know a creature. She liked to see how fast it took them to crack under pressure. Unfortunately, the light bulb wasn't doing much at all. It just stayed in the center of the table, frowning at her and leaning back. There was a comment about unwanted splinters, but other than that, nothing. So Zecora brought in some motivation. "Do you want to see your flying friend? Because I have him in this bin!" Zecora said as she pushed a large basket over to the table Larry was on. When she walked over and opened it, Larry once again saw Jeff. His friend appeared to be safe. Larry genuinely smiled for a moment, before looking down to the rest of the basket, and seeing what else was with Jeff... Jeff's wings were extended and in them, he held a deck of cards. On both sides of him there were several lady-owls who Jeff really seemed to be enjoying the company of. And on the opposite side of the basket from Jeff there were several owl sized drinks, which all appeared to be alcoholic, as well as some grains and things for him to eat. The bottom of the basket was covered in a deep red carpet, and the sides were coated in a frilly golden ribbon. Where Larry had been scared for his friend, he now stood rather curious as to what the frickin heck was going on. Also, why was Jeff getting the fun box? The Zebra proceeded to slide the basket back away from Larry and put the lid back on. Which had, typed in bold print, "What happens in the box, stays in the box," printed on to it. Larry would facepalm, but that would probably hurt his face. "Fine!" Larry said. "What do you want me to do?" "I want to see you talk and move," she said. "Go and obtain your light bulb groove." "You speak in rhymes?" Larry asked. "Is that like a thing for you? 'Cause it's kinda really weird." "I like to rhyme a lot, young light bulb, now go and move, and be a light bulb." "Seriously? You just rhymed "light bulb" with "light bulb"? Why would you even do that?" Larry asked inquisitively. "I'm not the best, at making rhymes, I just do it to pass the time." "Yeah, maybe you should choose another hobby then. I mean I'm sorry, but you really aren't that good at it." "No pony ever insults me, now take that back before I rage at thee!" "Meh, that's fine. I'm not a pony anyway. I'm a freaking light bulb! Maybe you'll remember me!" Larry shouted as he jumped from the table and onto the back of the zebra who had come a little too close to him in her excitement and was now paying the price for it. "Have you ever been beat up by a light bulb, tyrant stripes? 'Cause today's the day!" Running quickly down her back, Larry found the cloth he was looking for. The one the zebra had used to pick him up earlier. As he reached down to her leg to grab it, she used her legs to buck him up in the air, where Larry, still holding the cloth in his hands, came down hard on the zebra's neck. He was locked in an awkward position now. He was hanging on by a cloth, with his feet in an evil zebra's neck, looking her in the eyes and feeling her angered breath on his outer layer. Larry was beginning to think he was set out for this adventure stuff after all. He was one of the strongest light bulbs he knew, and while all this stuff was scary, a part of it was almost fun. He had to remind himself, he was epic ninja bulb, there was no stopping him. He was the light bulb of destiny! Still locked onto the zebra's angry face, Larry looked her dead in the eyes, smiled, and used all his strength to loosen the cloth and swing under her body, hard, while yelling as loud as he could, "you can't rhyme!" Larry chuckled. Nasty zebras were no match for him. He was strong, fierce, and powerful. Swinging up through her hind legs and onto her back again, Larry wrapped the cloth rope around her body as tight as he could. Larry then kicked off her back and landed on the floor, where he ran out the cracked door to her hut and into the forest, where he thought up a plan. *** Spike was having a nice morning, and it almost made up for what had happened the night before. Twilight had almost completely covered him in bandages for his wounds, and made him breakfast, and given him a few of the "good" gems, and was even writing to the princess herself for a change. Something about needing to brush up on her writing skills anyway. But best of all. Best of all Twilight had invited ...Rarity, to have breakfast with them. Now that is a good morning for a dragon. When they were done with breakfast, Spike went once again, but this time accompanied by Twilight and Rarity, to find Twilight's friends, since unsurprisingly, Rarity hadn't known anything about animate light bulbs - even though the idea of one have her a "brilliant" fashion idea - they decided to go to Fluttershy's first. If anypony was going to know something about this, it would be her. As they made their way to their freind's cottage, Spike made sure to stay close to Twilight, and especially Rarity. If he was going to go down again, he wanted his last sight before imprisonment to be something beautiful, or in Twilight's case, someone he cared deeply for. He would kinda prefer to see Rarity in that situation, though... The dirt road was matted with hoofprints from hundreds of years and thousands of ponies. Twilight decided to talk about this and the ways time changes things, but Rarity was concerned about her hooves getting too dirty. Spike was just staring at Rarity, and thinking of how beautiful she looked in the bright sunlight, and the way it glistened off her hair with such elegance. So not one of them noticed when a zebra ran through the clearing in front of them while shouting some sort of rhyme about a terrible light bulb. Spike certainly didn't notice. No mortal sound would distract him from the glorious essence of his lady's mane. Twilight didn't notice because she was far too busy admiring the time-worn road they were standing in the middle of. And Rarity didn't notice, because she was complaining about her hooves and what the dirt would do to them, all while secretly noticing the little dragon below, awkwardly staring at her and unconsciously making kissy faces. The only one who did notice was a squirrel in one of the trees, who in a past life had been a human residing on the planet Earth, named Bear Grylls. Nopony understood his chirpy squirrel noises, but he did, and that's what mattered. "And here you notice the zebra in its natural habitat. Watch as it moves in its unusual pattern, running for its life from the carnivore behind it. Let's see what we have here. A mountain lion? A cheetah? Blimey, it's a light bulb. That's something you don't see every day, folks." The squirrel scurried off to find some nuts, while thinking about what parts of the light bulb could be edible. He would really have to look into that at some point. Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and the midget purple dragon all finally noticed the screaming zebra when it hit them, literally. Zecora had been too occupied with her - and it was actually really hard to do right - rhyme screaming, and looking behind her to make sure the light bulb wasn't gaining on her. She was a genuinely scared little zebra, and she needed someone to hold her. As it turned out, she was in luck. She landed on the two ponies and the dragon with a smash, and suddenly, she wasn't the only one screaming. They didn't have to do it in rhymes though, lucky them. With a leap to the top of the pony/zebra/dragon pile, a certain lightbulb stood tall, arching his back up and shouting out as loud as he could, "I am Larry the light bulb, hyper ninja defeater of all!" And the destiny was fierce that day. Author's Note A wonderful friend has done something wonderful for me.
