So Far...

CHAPTER THREE

“Hey, where’s Pinkie?” Rarity asked as we finished setting up the picnic.

“I’m sure she’ll be here soon” said Twilight, starting to get suspicious about where she REALLY is.

Spike motioned to talk. “Don’t worry guys, I’m sure Pinkie is fine and everything is under contr-“

With that, the earth shook and a giant mushroom cloud billowed from Ponyville.

*

“Seriously Pinky, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE THIS?” Rainbow interrogated, staring at rubble of what used to be a library.

“My scrolls! My books! My… catalogues and notes of humans!” Twilight cried.

The library was still mostly intact, but a giant hole was blown out of the bottom right, the area around the living room and kitchen. Debris and ashes of books were strewn upon the streets and the inside was a blackened mess that resembled Berlin after WWII.

“Alright let me explain what happened” the pink pony said with a bounce. “I found this neat can of party and I couldn’t get it open so I put it on the flame thing in  your room and it opened. YAAAAY!”

“What can of party? I don’t have any can’t of party…”

“Oh, I found a few in your basement in a box labeled C₃H₅N₃O₉!”

Twilight’s left ear twitched and a few hairs popped out of her perfectly groomed mane.

“So, you put nitroglycerin on my BUNSEN BURNER!?!”

“Yep, best idea I have had in a long time!”

Twilight started gritting her teeth with a twisted grin as Pinkie bounced away.

“Ah’m sure it’s not that bad, sugarcube” Applejack reassured.

“I’d have you stay in my house for a bit, darling, but I need the room for my clothing line and such, you understand, right?” Rarity asked.

“Well shoot, Big Mac and Applebloom got sick so we need the spare room, sorry” Applejack added.

“Oh, it will be quite alright for one of you to stay at my place, I don’t have room for you both, but I’m sure Pinkie might have some room for the other” Fluttershy said.

With that, Twilight immediately grabbed Fluttershy and claimed her spot.

“You see” Rainbow said sympathetically “I would take you in, but I live in a cloud…”

Twilight thought for a moment, then her horn started glowing. She shot a beam of purple magic at me and suddenly I could climb up the bits of mist in the air like a flight of stairs.

“Oh cool” Rainbow said. “I get the human for a sleepover.”

“Lucky…” Fluttershy whispered under her breath.

“Please, call me Arthur or I just might start calling you all ‘pony’” the human said.

I flapped my arms up and down, trying to see if I can use any new laws of physics to my advantage. Well no, I couldn’t fly, but Rainbow but her forehooves under my armpits and flew me up to her house. It wasn’t even that high up really, you could probably jump from it into a lake and be relatively fine so long as you don’t land on your butt. I carefully stepped on a cloud, half expecting to fall right through it.

“Your house is so cool!” I exclaimed.

“Thanks” Rainbow said, flattered. “Just don’t eat the floor. While under the spell every bit of cloud is like rubber.”

Then a thought hit me. I am in a house up in the sky. What do I do all day?

Rainbow showed me around and even offered me a job, since I apparently didn’t make the cut for the band. She had a table stationed in a room next to the living room with a computer and a radio. She tuned the frequency to 172.4 and put headphones on me.

“Alright, here’s your job. If anyone calls in, reply to them and tell me what they said. Simple enough, right?”

“Um sure” I said.

“I’ll be right here” she said, pointing to a chair right next to me. She flipped on the computer and started playing TF2. “Oh also, remember that you are Dash Base One”

Seems simple enough. The airwaves were packed in all sorts of communication.

*static* “Delta Niner this is Cloudsdale do you copy, over?” *static*

*static* “[indistinct] Delta Niner loud and clear, over.” *static*

I sat back, watching Rainbow headshot almost everyone popping out from the same exact corner. I began dozing off a bit.

*static* “Dash Base One this is Cloudsdale do you copy over?” *static*

I pushed a button and replied

*static* “Cloudsdale this is Dash Base One I read you over” *static*

No reply. There was still a bunch of chatting going on, but they must have forgotten about me. Oh well. I guess it wasn’t that important then.

*

An hour or two must have passed. Rainbow finally turned around.

“Still not asleep yet?”

“Why, should I be?”

“I’d be out by this time.”

“Well I have a job don’t I?”

“Hah. I like you, kid. I think your shift is over. Consider your rent paid.”

I sighed a sigh of relief. No more of that bogus. The sun was already setting.

“Time for bed I guess”

“Really? Ok I’ll just cap this one point and I’ll be up”

I thought about how my clothes were getting funky. I wore them forwards, backwards, inside out, and backwards, but by the 2nd rotation they were getting stinky. Problem is, I don’t have anything to change into. Maybe tomorrow Rarity will give me something reasonable to wear. I left my BDU in the bedroom of the library… I don’t have much hopes of seeing that again.

*

I felt a soft muzzle burying itself in my neck. I opened my eyes and saw Rainbow’s beautiful eyes- big, round, with a dark pink iris, looking right back. I couldn’t help but complement them.

“Oh stop, you!” she laid on top of me, turning her head away but still keeping her eyes locked in mine. I ran my hand down her back, and it was one of the softest things I have ever felt. She was kind of like a pug, soft and velvety. I petted her from her head over her wings and down to her flank. She pinned me down by my shoulders and smiled at me, still keeping her bright eyes locked in mine. I pulled her head down and we started making out. I could feel her getting wet as she started grinding against me. My clothes were gone, odd, but convenient. I flipped her over, and she blushed with a little saucy grin in the corner of her mouth.

"Now we're in business" she said with a devious smile.

*

I woke up to find myself in the usual position; head flat on the ground, feet up in the air.

“So, what did you dream about?” She asked with a smirk.

“Ummm… I had a dream about…” I thought about how to answer that question. “About a couch… who was… also having another dream.”

I’d facepalm myself if I still didn’t have a drop of hope that she’d buy it.

“Something tells me that you’re lying. And it happens to be right there…” She pointed with her forehoof to the bulge in my pants. “You also were talking in your dream.”

“And what did I say?”

“I won’t tell you until you tell me what the dream was about. I may have heard little, I may have heard everything.” She said with the same face I had when I interrogated Twilight after my first night.

“Alright, it was a sex dream.”

“Ooooh” she said. “Alright that’s all I need to know” she said with the same smirk.

“You don’t even care with whom it was?” I asked, suddenly regretting I reopened a dropped topic.

“I kind of figured with who, you were saying my name a lot throughout your dream.”

I felt like burying my face in my pillow, but then I noticed something new about Rainbow.

“Do you have somewhere to get to or do you just like that idea?” I asked.

She turned her head around and noticed her wings spread, each feather sticking out.

“Alright, let’s not get ahead of ourselves” she said, holding back a blush.

With that, we went downstairs. She made breakfast consisting of blueberry Eggo waffles. Not much but it wasn’t half a muffin and sarsaparilla. It was a bit awkward at first, any time we looked each other in the eyes we looked away, pretending it never happened. However after a bit we started talking about our plans for the day.

“Well today we have rain scheduled, and as luck would have it a storm is coming in, so I don’t even have to do much. How about you?”

“Well, I am unemployed… I guess I will go ask Rarity to make me some clothes and then go off swimming or something…”

“Swimming? Humans can swim?”

“I can, though a bunch can’t. It’s really about how much you want to go. Some never get the chance therefore don’t have the need to learn…”

“Can you teach me how to swim?” Rainbow asked excitedly and impatiently.

“I mean, I can try. Heck, it might be fun!”

“Great. Let’s meet at the lake by the park in an hour.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

With that, Rainbow hovered me down to Earth and flew off, helping the weather ponies guide the storm clouds slightly North so that they don’t accidentally miss Ponyville, while I went off to Rarity’s boutique store shop thing. It has clothes.

Rarity was a bit surprised to see me, but nevertheless agreed to try to fabricate clothes for my… odd shape. The first batch didn’t turn out so well. Since she was still using some pony dimensions, the sleeves started well below my shoulders and the pants had an awkward space between the two legs. The second batch she relied solely on measurements and it turned out not half bad. It was a polka-dotted shirt and a yellow skirt. I didn’t bother telling her the gender of clothing was off, because she really didn’t know. I just informed her I prefer solid colors and longer pants with pockets. She nodded and I went off to the lake.

*

I sat by the lake for no more than 5 minutes when Rainbow flew down to me with an eager smile.

“Yeah, let’s do this!” she exclaimed.

“Alright” I thought, thinking about how to get in.

She got in hoof deep and turned back waiting for me

“Aren’t you getting in?”

“Yeah, I just don’t have a bathing suit…”

Rainbow broke down into laughter

“People wear a suit for bathing? AHAHAHAHA!” she said, covering one eye with a hoof. “Just take your clothes off and come in!”

“But I’ll be naked!”

“So? All your friends from Earthmerica aren’t here to see, and everyone here is naked anyways” she said, sitting down, pointing at the area between her legs. Yep. All the parts were there alright.

I left my new clothes on the shore and climbed into the water with Rainbow. As we got in deeper, she went in more reluctantly until we stopped when the water was up to her neck (a foot higher than waist high for me).

“I guess before you learn how to swim, you should float…” I said, thinking about that one show where some lifeguard had to teach a spoiled rich teenager to swim. Not that she was spoiled or rich. Plus I thought she was 18, on one occasion I saw her drinking wine. I am pretty sure she is 18, but I guess I’ll bring it up later.

I lifted her out of the water as best I could (she weighs a lot more than I normally lift. She was pretty much a full-grown mare after all) and set her down in the water on her back, with most of her head underwater, only her muzzle and one eye above.

“Hey look!” she excitedly cheered. “I’m doing it! I’m swimming!”

She lifted her head out of the water for a better view but then almost immediately capsized.

“FUUUUgluglugluglug!” she yelled in a panic and started thrashing around in the water. “Save me! Damn it!”

“Stand up Rainbow. JUST STAND UP!”

With that, she stood up, still neck-deep.

“I knew that!” She said in her normal cocky voice, though a blush appeared on her face. She fell back on her back again, this time keeping her head low, and paddling her feet a bit.

“There we go! You’re doing it!” I said excitedly.

“I bet I can beat you to the other side of the lake!” She said proudly.

“You literally just learned to swim.”

To prove my point, I dived into the water, emerging back to the surface a good 20 feet away in a few seconds. Rainbow giggled.

“You’re pretty good. I guess I never learned to swim because flying is faster and more convenient! I’d like to see you swim at mach one!”

I felt like explaining to her that sound travels slower in water, but I figured it won’t matter because I still couldn’t break it in the water. I swam back up to her and she hugged me, looking deep into my eyes with hers, big black circles outlined in a dark pink ring with spots from the sun's reflection, just like I had fantasized in my dream.

“This has been a lot of fun, thank you” she said, and kissed me.