So Far...

I lazily opened my eyes. Something was going on that’s not supposed to. Well, actually that is an understatement. But I was sure I fell asleep on top of the bed, not under it. And why is there a huge hole in it? And why am I sinking through the floor? I grew nervous as my brain interrogated itself in its usual good cop/bad cop fashion. The floor gave way from under me, and I fell down from the second floor, the bottom floor somewhat slowing me down, but it too gave and I kept falling, screaming. But damn, something smelled good. I kept falling until a great big oak tree broke my fall, but that's  not saying it didn’t hurt like getting raped by a weedwacker. The oak was not too far away from Fluttershy’s house, and she saw me from her kitchen window and flew up to me.

“W… what happened, if you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

“I know as much as you do.”

“Oh well please, do come in. Maybe Twilight can help you.”

I haven’t seen Twilight in a while. I decided it might not be the worst idea to drop by and say hi. I was in some new clothes, mainly a hot pink shirt and short black shorts Rarity made me. It made a statement to say the least. It was a short walk to Fluttershy’s house, but the path was riddled in landmines from all the animals she’d been hoarding. I think it’s rather unsanitary, really. We walked up to the smaller bedroom which had its door closed. Knowing Twilight, I dared not to just “pop in”. I knocked on the door a few times.

“It’s fine Fluttershy you can come in.”

I swung the door open.

“Actually it’s me.” I said

“Oh hi!” she said with an excited look on her face. “I haven’t seen you in a few days. How are things going with Rainbow Dash” she said, her left ear twitching.

“Um, fine. She’s actually really nice, albeit spontaneous…”

“Is she now? Well the library is almost fixed so you can move back in with me!” she said. “And then we can learn all about each other and-“

That moment Dash burst through the door, hysterical and on the verge of tears.

“I was… kitchen! Then- fell and… can’t find! Where-“

Her narrow pupils dilated to normal size upon seeing me safe with everypony.

“Oh thank goodness you’re ok! What happened anyway?”

“I don’t know, I just woke up, falling out of the sky… and something smelled good. But then I fell through an oak and hit my arse.”

Rainbow held back a giggle. “Well at least we know you’re alright” she said reassuringly. “But why did you fall out of the cloud?”

“Well it has been 3 days since I replenished his cloudwalking spell. But that’s ok, because he says he’s coming back to live with me now!”

“He did?”

“I did?”

We both stammered simultaneously.

“Well my library is fixed now, I assumed you would be coming back.”

Rainbow looked a bit down. I think she enjoyed my company over the monotony of not having a pet, dragon secretary, and just the isolation of living on a cloud high above any neighbors.

“Let’s let him decide!” Twilight proposed, pointing a forehoof at my chest.

I really wish she hadn’t said that.

“And may I remind you who originally took you in” Twilight added.

“Well who has the coolest house?” Rainbow interrupted.

“Who told you how the laws of physics here work?” Twilight interrupted back.

“Oh, well who did you have the most sex dreams about?” Rainbow asked, finalizing her defense.

I facepalmed and buried my face in Twilight’s sheets. I tried to think of a valid compromise, but I couldn’t think of a practical one other than one having me for certain times and the other for the other. Plus where is my choice in this? Maybe I want neither. Nah, that’s a lie. Rainbow and Twilight could see that I was having a hard time choosing, and that upset both of them that they weren’t the obvious choice.

“Girls! Can’t you see he doesn’t want to choose?” Fluttershy interjected. “I mean, if you don’t mind, that is.”

“Well” Twilight said, her horn glowing. “If you want to be with Rainbow, I’m fine with that.”

“Are you sure-“

“Well yes. I think I learned more about humans already than I ever hoped for. Also, I’m going to fortify the library in an impenetrable field of landmines!” she concluded, her left ear spazzing out.

As I left Fluttershy’s house with Rainbow, she chuckled.

“I knew you liked me better all along.”

“You knew nothing.” I snapped back

“Lies. If you liked Twilight better I knew you wouldn’t spare my feelings by beating around the bush.”

With that, she lifted me up again and we flew back to her cloud.

“By the way, is me picking you up pretty much the first time you have ever left the ground?”

“To be honest, no. I have flown before…”

“Wait what? How?”

“Well you see on Earth we have these things called airplanes. They are like big metal boxes that somehow fly.”

“How did humans manage that?” she asked, dropping me onto the cloud.

“Well without getting all egg-head on you, there’s this thing called the Bernoulli Effect which planes use that makes the air suck them up. I don’t know if it exists here but whatever. That’s just how it is.”

“Thanks for saving me the boring lecture. Oh well. The waffles are probably ready now. I was never much of a cook…”

“Have you tried to cook?”

“I did. I tried. Cooking isn’t really my thing though. I like flying” she said and started flying in circles around her house, gaining more speed, until she suddenly stopped in front of me, nearly collapsing from the sudden dizziness.”

“Boy, you sure look like you like going fast!”

“Um, have you met me? I need to go fast and turn on a dime to be a Wonderbo-“

Her face froze.

“There’s a Wonderbolts display at the park today! I almost forgot!”

With that she bolted away, followed by a long rainbow trail. I sat down on the cloud, thinking what to do with my time. Suddenly Rainbow flew up behind me and scooped me up in the usual fashion, and we flew to the specks of dots called ponyville

*

Rainbow flew by me upside down, rocketing into a loop and stopped to a hover right by me.

“And then Spitfire was all like WHOOSH!” she cheered as she kicked the air “and then Soarin was all KAZOOSH!”. She rolled around in mid-air. “You just don’t see that kind of stuff every day!” She let out a laugh which slowly died to a giggle. “Wait, you said that you have TVs that show this kind of stuff right? And that thing you call YouTube to see it again, right?”

“Well yes but more often than not people put stuff on the internet which isn’t entirely true or accurate.”

“Like what?”

“Well there’s a huge buzz going around about you being gay…”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means people think you’re a fillyfooler.”

Rainbow froze in mid-air, her mouth slightly hanging open.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well to be frank, it’s pretty much all because of your hair.”

“What about it?”

“It’s rainbow.”

“…and?”

“Well on Earth, rainbow colors are associated with fillyfoolers and coltcuddlers.”

Rainbow was having a hard time comprehending.

“So what you’re telling me is that a bunch of lame coltcuddlers adopted the rainbow without asking anyone, and now no one can wear rainbow colors without being associated with them?”

“Yep. They also took the word ‘gay’ from us. So yeah, that sucks.”

I could tell from the look on Rainbow’s face that she took offense to this.

“… you don’t think I’m a fillyfooler, do you?”

“Nah, of course not! Besides, you’re not the only one who YouTube incorrectly portrays, like Pinkie often goes crazy and I remember I saw this one thing where Rarity had a bunch of Mexicans working in her dress shop all sweatshop style.”

Rainbow by now was trotting beside me, and we continued talking about random human crap, but not nearly into as much detail or annoyingness as with Twilight. Seriously, nopony cares about the presidents.

“And then I said, you call it adolfin. Get it? Adolf, and he is in a U-boat?”

“Not really. What’s a nazi?”

“Eh, long story. It’s a bunch of fascists from a country called Germany. Most people don’t think too kindly of them since they-“

I and Rainbow didn’t even notice we have gone off the trail and now found each other in a puddle of sticky mud.

“Oh fuck!” we both yelled almost simultaneously. Rainbow blushed and we both giggled nervously.

She scooped me up, losing her grip a bit but regaining it soon after, and flew me up to her cloud house almost directly above us. No wonder it was so muddy. Rainbow went into the kitchen and grabbed what looked like a beer from the fridge.

“Rainbow…” I asked, remembering the question I was going to ask earlier. “How old are you?”

“Oh well I’m 17.”

“I thought you have to be 18 to drink…”

“Ah, Celestia imposes those laws because when you’re 18 or older you are least likely to hurt yourself from getting smashed.”

She tossed me a bottle from the fridge.

“Just be careful” she said reassuringly.

I took a sip and spit it out. “Blech! What is this?”

“Hay infusion. It's not for everyone…”

I took another sip. This time it wasn’t half bad.

“You know what, we probably should get washed up…”

“Well yeah except your bathroom doesn’t have a shower.”

“We’re in a cloud, dude.”

With that, she tore a chunk of wall out and squeezed it over me. The water did little more than remove mud from the top of my head and replace it down lower. Rainbow put the chunk back in its spot, noticeably lighter than the surrounding wall.

“Yeah, this isn’t going to work, Rainbow. I think I should get out of these muddy clothes and take a sh- wait that’s right you don’t have a shower.”

“Well that first part’s a start.”

“I guess you’re right.” I said, sipping some more infusion and removing my muddy clothes.

“Aw great!” She said, looking at the muddy hoof stains on the chunk of cloud she used to squeeze over me. “I guess I ought to wash off too.”

“Here!” I shouted, playfully throwing a cloud at her, which exploded into mist, partially wetting her.

“So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?” she asked with a smirk on her face as she balled up some clouds. What ensued was a bit like a snowball fight, except the clouds felt like water balloons, upon explosion drenching us in fine mist which precipitated down onto us. I created a long cloud stick and yelled “kamikaze!” as I charged at her and thumped her over the shoulder with the cloud, which exploded into a shower of mist that turned the whole room temporarily into a kaleidoscope of rainbow. Her eyes glistened in the shower of sparkles that fell and she gave me that look. The look which paralyzed me in awe, her muzzle resting on her shoulder and her hair glued to her forehead from the water. Then suddenly her eyebrows descended and a smirk covered her face as she grabbed a big boulder of a cloud from behind her and walloped me with it on the top of my head.

“Hey! No fair! That was cheating!”

“Oh is it now?” she said, giggling. She leaned down and kissed me.

“Rainbow, I love the state you are in, but I think you’re drunk.”

“Pssh, no I’m not. I’m a way crazier drunk. Plus, even if I was, you don’t do anything while drunk that you don’t normally want to do.”

I couldn’t argue with that logic and had some more hay infusion. Rainbow had already finished hers and grabbed a second. I don’t understand what’s so good in water filled with paramecium and other stuff that probably can’t be good for you, but honestly, it’s like pepperoni. First time you have it you think it is spicy as shit, but later you think it’s not spicy at all. For the most part we were clean now, and the cloud beneath us absorbed all the dirt.

“To be honest” I remarked “we aren’t even coltfriend/marefriend and we’re already making out.”

“Oh, well what’s stopping us?”

“I guess that fact that we’re completely different species.”

“But how does that stop us?”

“It doesn’t I guess. But I think we both ought to make these decisions on a clear mind.”

“Like I said before; I wanted to for a long time, and you too. Now we’re just not afraid to say it.”

I nodded, pulled the bottle to take another sip, only to realize that it is empty. Rainbow tossed me another.

“I guess you are kind of my favorite.”

Rainbow blushed and kissed me again, but this time didn’t pull away at once. She held on for a good 3 minutes until she pulled away gasping for breath.

“How do you hold your breath for so long?”

“I play the tuba” I said triumphantly.

“Right, and what in the name of Celestia possessed you to choose that?”

“I don’t know. It was offered in elementary school so I took it. Do you play anything?”

“Nah. I tried my luck on the trombone but it was just too awkward.” She said, sliding her foreleg forwards and backwards, imitating a trombone player’s movements. This time I giggled a bit. Suddenly she hugged me like a bear and plunged her tongue into my mouth. After I got over the initial shock, I reciprocated and we battled over control. Suddenly she pinned me down, still firmly fighting my tongue back. Then she slowly lowered herself onto my chest. I gasped, but not from lack of air. She smiled at the apparent victory she had over my mouth and started grinding up and down my chest, her tongue sticking out partially from the side of the smirk across her muzzle.

I tilted my head down to see her grinding away at my belly, leaving a trail of wetness as she went. Right as she thrust forward I lunged my chest up and she landed on my face, just as I had planned. I entered her with my tongue, this time without any other tongue to fight back. Rainbow’s wings by now have unfurled to their majestic beauty and slightly fluttered as I explored all around until I found one particular spot she seemed to like. She turned herself completely around and saw a little pool of rainbow forming on an indentation in the wall. She quickly leaned over, trying to make sure my tongue doesn’t exit her, and grabbed a hooffull of rainbow, and proceeded to rub it all over me, turning me into a sort of pearlescent shiny Christmas tree ornament covered in smudges of tie-dye. I reciprocated this action and also covered her in rainbow, making her look like a big blob of colors topped with a vivid mane to match. With that, she leaned forward over me and now took me into her mouth.

This only made me more thrilled and I grabbed her by the flank and pulled her in closer to me, which was now significantly easier because the rainbow had made both of us very slippery, like we were both coated in a layer of shampoo. By now she was sweating liberally and holding on tight to the covers of cloud and stated to tear up from the spicy rainbow juice she conveniently placed, and I could feel some dripping down into her too. Then suddenly, she lifted her head and clenched her teeth. The look in her eyes said it all; her dark pink pupils, previously dilated, suddenly contracted and her jaw dropped. Without missing a beat, I finished her as she screamed so loud, Prince Blueblood, who happened to be nearby, seized up and flopped on the ground with a thud. All this commotion made my cannon down below fire off as well, landing some shots off on her chest and the rest all over the cloud. An unfortunate enough drop, tainted in rainbow, came plummeting out of the sky and hit Prince Blueblood, recovering from his fall, right in his left eye. He fell again, covering his face with his hooves, screaming in agony, contrasting Rainbow’s earlier screams of joy.

“Man… that was DEFINITELY 20% cooler than what I was expecting from a human.”

“Whoa… that… that was… AWESOME!” I replied as Rainbow fell asleep in her afterglow, followed soon by myself.

*

The next morning, for likely the first time during my stay in Equestria, It seems as though I woke up completely on my bed. As I opened my eyes some more I realized this hypothesis was false; I wasn’t in my bed. I turned my head and noticed Rainbow also just getting up. Her coat was all ruffled and her mane was stuck to her forehead from last night’s sweat, which by now has dried. She turned around and noticed I was up.

“Man… last night was RADICAL!” Rainbow dash said, noticing streaks of dry cum all over her soft cyan coat, tearing up a little as she attempted to pull it out, the large smile across her face still bright as ever. “The rainbow still stings a bit though” she said, rubbing between her legs. "Uh...wow...I dunno how to ask this but...was this your first time with a pony?"

"Was this your first with a human?"

“Yes.” We both matter-of-factly replied simultaneously.

“Well, to be fair, that was my first time with anybody… or pony, for that matter.”

Rainbow thought about how to reply, but then figured she could trust me by now.

“Well, that may also have been my first time with anyone also… but don’t tell anypony!” she said defensively, fearing defamation of her awesomeness should anypony find out.

“Think about it this way” I replied. “You can’t say that anymore.”

“Just one more thing…” she added, picking another bit of dried cum off her belly, tearing up again as a few more hairs got pulled out. “Next time, shoot your bolt inside of me, please.”

Author’s Note

For that last part, you can thank some of my brony friends who convinced me, and helped me write pretty much all of the clop scene. Thanks guys, you are all pervs but I love you all nonetheless . Especially you Adam, you have quite the… erm… imagination.