Macedonian Sun

Uuughh… How much did I drink last night….

        The words themselves seemed to drunkenly stupor through my mind, I hadn’t opened my eyes yet, but I already knew that the following, due to the crazy Equestrian-style dreams I had been having, had to be true:

        1.Thou hast consumed enough alcohol to kill most of thine creatures smaller than thou.

        2. Thou shalt seek out thy locale psychiatrist.

        3.Thou shalt seek out thine toilette even sooner.

        Upon the last thought, I immediately jumped up with a speed that would resemble Usain Bolt with an overactive bladder, and attempt to run out of my dorm and into a bathroom as quickly as possible. Except, when I run to my pseudo-door, I instead flatten face first into a fresh section of drywall.

        Then, in multiple ways, it hits me.

I'm still here..

Every day, the same routine: wake up, look around, make up some assnine attempt to escape. Im in her care now though, so I’m finally safe, right? My feelings for the Sun Goddess, though all too recent to make assumptions, have been in heated conflict for the past forty-eight hours.

        My cynical side scoffing and declaring she’s just another rapist, and my ever-weakened sense of hope retaliating with what little it had. She seemed nice enough, but in this world, cynicism is what’s kept me alive so far, and I intend to stick to it.

        I peeled myself off the wall, and looked around the room for whatever sharp, pointy objects I could find. If I needed to, in a tight spot I could probably beat something to death with any of a variety from objects from a broken glass shard to a steel dildo. Unfortunately, I could find neither, as the room had been wiped clean of anything even close to pointy. Sighing, I slumped back into my cot in resignation. There was nothing I could use, nowhere to run, and no-one coming to save my sorry arse.

        And soon enough, my newfound captor-savior walked in with a smile, holding a leash.

I groaned, but grudgingly lifted myself off the cot and lied down in a gesture of submission to let her attach the leash. After all, why the hell not? If I’m already an animal, act the part. She seemed surprised I didn’t stand up at first, but attached the leash anyways.

        Apparently all of us still walked naturally rightside up. I had thought with our animalistic nature it had to be trained into us. I slowly rose up and started walking, I had no other option. She seemed to brighten up the walls with just a smile.

Eventually we passed by one of the nobles on our walk, I could almost identify them by smell now. The overpriced and overwhelming stench of  perfume could be smelled and gagged at from two miles away. The sun being the relative chatterbox she is, they couldn't help but strike up a conversation.

        ‘’Ah, Princess! I can’t help but notice what a fine specimen you have there, I must say!’’

        Yes, Family Tree? The Princess's brow rose and began to furrow. ‘’I would offer you quite the sum for this fine human!’’

        ‘’He’s NOT for rent, Tree.’’

        ‘’Oh but Princess, he would be such a fine human to go to waste! Why he must be of one of the highest pedigrees in the Kingdom, may I just have the pleasure of renting him?’’ I wanted to kick this guy in the balls so badly..

        ‘’I said HE’S NOT FOR RENT!

        Upon hearing the Princess's thundering announcement, the Noble quickly shut up. Word apparently spreads fast in this country, as we went the rest of the day without much interference. Eventually we came to a pet store in one of the more busy streets. Everything seemed to be strutted with various diamonds or other jewels.

 The city’s streets showed no sign of crime, misery, disease or even a simple speck of dirt. You would have sworn the had taken Brave New World and ponified the story. The nearby ponies, noble or not, all bowed before her.

        Every time, She simply laughed and said that they had no need to bow. The store we eventually reached had enough bling attached to the bloody walls that it may have been the cause of permanent blindness for an unfortunate few of the locals. And if the outside wasn’t enough, the inside probably could induce nausea from excessive pastel alone.

        The Sun Goddess ignoring my futile attempts to preserve my vision, walked into the the store, only to be told that she couldn't drag my sorry arse in here, as it was a violation of company policy. Reluctantly, she hitched me to a post outside, (also diamond-strutted) and left me to wait.

        Boredom set in fairly quick, and I was left to look repetitively at the city’s other highest stores, all boasting the same show-off attitude and heavily inflated pricing. Eventually though,something looking vaguely reminiscent of a Dishonored-style aristocrat at a costume party caught me eye.

        This guy belonged to someone incredibly wealthy or equally odd.

        He was clad in a long coat donned with various feathers jutting out around his wrists, shoulders and elbows. Most of the outfit was checkered in various shades of purple and red, his hands covered with latex- looking gloves.

        The man himself gave off an aroma of cold venom, his blue eyes piercing into anything the gazed, as if analyzing what to take down in a fight, or perhaps searching for a target, and soon enough, the spotted me.

        I instinctively grabbed the sharpest rock I could find lying around, and arranged myself in as much as a combat stance as I could bear. He glanced over to me, spotting the rock in my hand, he sighed, and rolled his eyes. His demeanor confused me immensely. First it seemed like he wanted to murder someone, now he just looked annoyed.

He walked over to me, then sat down at the post next to me a way probably intentionally designed to resemble somewhat of a dog. He slowly leaned over, not to arouse suspicion, and whispered the first six words I had received out of a human’s lips I had heard since my arrival.

‘’Can you understand what I’m saying.’’

        I remain silent for a few seconds, then as he sighs and begins to walk, I respond.

        ‘’Nope, it’s just Chuck Testa.’’

        He looks to me, initially with a stunned expression and barrages me with questions. I don’t blame him, as he’s probably been as isolated as me ever since his departure from Terra firma. He introduces himself as Josh, and says he’s part of a Thieves Guild based here, with various sects in other cities.

        While I’m glad to have met another, I’m reluctant to give him my actual name, so I instead give him a pseudonym, John. He cocks an eye at the name, but accepts it. Eventually he gets up, and before we part ways, agrees to meet again. Before I can speak again, a griffon walks up, detaches his leash, and he’s off.

        I watch as he leaves, a smile growing ever larger on my face as I finally know I am no longer alone. I ponder whether I will ever meet him again, and if so, If I may finally make my escape.