Hearts, Hooves, and Balloons

Hearts, Hooves, and Balloons

By Strawberry Jelly

Chapter 3 - Mistakes Were Made

“Oi don't like da look she's givin' me,”  Rocky said flatly at the librarian that sat across the table from him.  I don't know why, but Rocky really doesn't like Twilight and it's pretty weird.  I'm pretty sure Madame le Flour doesn't have anything against my friend, although Egge the Beata hasn't really given a hint one way or another; probably because he's so calm from that magic grass he's always smoking.  I really need to stage an intervention for him.

“Pinkie...  Are you feeling okay?”  Twilight cautiously asked with a raised eyebrow, as if something was actually wrong.  I don't know what's gotten into her suddenly, but maybe she didn't want my other friends to come over so suddenly?  I guess it is kind of rude for them to just drop in, but I can't just turn them away either.

“I'm feeling just fine!”  I giggled and leaned across the table to give her a hug before dashing by Mr. Turnip's side, “I don't think she likes us too much.  Don't be silly, Twilight's super friendly to everyone!  You say that, but she looks really confused by something.  Maybe because you all just came over uninvited.  It was pretty rude of you all.”

“Well, Ah for one dzink she is lovely,”  Madame le Flour backs me up as usual.  Honestly, she's the nicest of my non-pony friends.  Not that not being a pony really matters or anything, mind you!  I'm not a racist.  At least, I don't think I am... hm...

“Gummy!  Don't say such things!”  My cheeks heated up at his unusually perverse words.  He might give Twilight weird ideas or something!  I really don't want her to go off thinking I have weird sexual thoughts for her; that's just be weird!  She's one of my best friends, after all.

“Pinkie, you're scaring me...”  Twilight managed to whimper out between all of my friends rambling on to one another.  I notice her backing away from the table for some reason; was she uncomfortable around my friends?  I wouldn't see why she would be; only Rocky really has said anything mean to her.  Maybe it's something I said or did?  She did say that I was scaring her.

“Are my friends bugging you?”  I frown towards her, feeling a twinge of guilt shoot through my body for some reason.  Why am I hurting so much?  I feel like someone just ripped my gut out and was stomping on it with all four hooves.  That's when Rocky spoke up again, “If she don't wanna pardy with us, then she don't godda!”

With that, Twilight took a few more steps back and made some kind of complex expression.  No wait, I know that look...  That's the look of fear; complete and utter fear of something... but she made that look towards me.  Is she scared of me?  I felt another agonizing jolt shoot through my body straight from my heart before almost doubling over.  “Pinkie, can we talk upstairs...  In private?”

Guiltily I felt myself nod in agreement, wanting to do anything to make her happy again.  What was I doing to scare her like that?  That wasn't just a look of concern, but she looked like I was about to actually hurt her!  I don't want to do anything like that to Twilight... ever...

After we entered into her room, she trotted over to her bed and laid down on it before patting the spot next to her, “Pinkie, come here... please?”

Why did my heart skip like four beats right there?  It actually made me feel a little light headed, but a strange sense of bliss at the same time.  I jumped onto the bed next to her and almost immediately collapsed from exhaustion that I didn't even realize was there before.  Was there something wrong with me?  I feel like my heart is being crushed in a vice...

“Talk to me; you just randomly got super depressed after we read those books on relationships,”  Twilight tried her best to have a soothing voice as I felt her wing wrap itself around my body like a blanket...

She's so soft; like, her wing feels like it's made out of clouds (Trust me, I've walked on one before).  I love her so much...  Woah, where'd that come from?  No, Gummy loves her, I do not.  Right?

Her hoof softly brushed through my flat but long mane, as if to try and comfort me; to which I admit that I found me head leaning into her as if to prolong her affection.  Why do I have to love her?  Why does it hurt so bad?  Why does she have to have a crush on that stallion back in the Crystal Empire?  “Twilight, make it stop!”

I found myself drowning her barrel in tears, only to receive two warm forelegs wrapping around my withers with one hoof still gently stroking my mane as I just... let it out.  I'm not even sure what I'm letting out, but I know it's leaving me through the water that was pouring from my eyes.  “It just hurts and... and...”

“Shh,” She cooed softly and pressed her muzzle warmly against my forehead.  It did wonders to calm me, but the tears still just kept falling for around an hour before I finally pulled away with the combination of tears and mucus staining my pink fur and sadly, Twilight's lavender chest.  I couldn't help but feel a little bad for that.

“I think I know what's wrong,” She said calmly before giving me a sweet smile, “You're in love with somepony that you don't think loves you back?”

Her tone posed it as a question, but I think it was more of her stating the fact.  So I give her only a nod in response before wiping my face with a shaky pink hoof and give her a halfhearted smile.  It hurt, but I don't want to let her know that it was her; I simply couldn't.  Not without severe ramifications and...

Wow, do I really sound that way when I'm depressed?  I miss being pink and bubbly already!  Wait, what if she does like me back and what if she kisses me tonight and what if... Ohmygosh!  Okay, so maybe my mane still isn't fluffing out again, but I do at least feel a little better after telling myself that.  Maybe I should bake something?  That usually makes me feel happier too.

“Pinkie, do you want to tell me who it is?”  She asks with a slight frown that kills that joy I was feeling a moment ago.  I don't want to tell her, I can't tell her.  After all, Twilight is my best friend in the world and I can't just go and let her know how I feel about her.  I absolutely can-

“I love you,” I found myself saying despite my brain literally yelling at me.  Normally I could play it off as a friendly love, but not with this context...  Twilight's too smart for that; which is just another thing that makes me love her even more.  Oh Celestia, is that my heart?!  It was shaking my body with how hard it was pounding in my chest.

“I... You...” She actually moved away from me...  Not hugging me closer or staying the same, but she moved away.  I made a mistake...  I made a really big mistake...  “Pinkie, I'm going to go take a quick bath.  Pinkie promise me that you won't leave while I'm gone.”

It hurt so bad to do the motions, but I did them halfheartedly no less, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Even a halfhearted pinkie promise is still a pinkie promise, and I can't break it no matter how agonizing it was to be here in this library.  I feel like I had just lost my friend, and what's worse?  The Elements of Harmony.  We need to get along in order for them to work, but I just broke those forever too!  Stupid, stupid, stupid Pinkie Pie!  Why didn't you think of that before you went and let out your stupid Pinkie feelings!  I pounded my hooves against the top of my head as if some sort of punishment would do me any good at this point.

To add insult to injury, I went and promised something that I really, really didn't want to keep.  Now I get the joy of laying alone of her bed with her scent, and left all alone to my thoughts and...

...Oh sweet Celestia she smells amazing.

I inhaled slowly, taking in the mixed scents of sweet vanilla and delicious maple... as well as a third scent I hadn't noticed before.  Old paper; like that smell you get when you open a book that hasn't been touched in years.  Not really something I ever found a particularly nice scent, but now that it was part of Twilight I just...

“Twilight...” I inhaled the euphoria inducing aroma that lingered in the sheets, feeling it burn away at that pain I had been feeling only moments ago.  Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all; maybe she just wanted to think and maybe she does love me back...  Maybe, just maybe...

Twitch.

I felt my hind leg twitch a little at that thought... What if she came out here and decided that she wanted to...

Twitch.

I think I'm letting her scent get to me; I need to stop right now while I'm ahead.  I force myself away from the sheets before feeling a burning pain in my gut that my shaky legs collapse from.  Okay, maybe I can just relax and take a few deep breathes...

Bad idea, that just made it worse... It was like this itch that I couldn't scratch.  An itch that caused my hind legs to shift uncontrollably and make me breath like I had just ran a mile.  I took another deep breath of her sheets that sent a warm electrical sensation down my spine.

… Okay, make that two miles.

I rolled over best I could onto my back, feeling that itch only worsen in my nethers.  You know how when you have an itch that you can't scratch, it's like the worst thing ever?  This wasn't like that at all; well, it still was driving me a little crazy, but not in the same way...  It was something I didn't just want to scratch, but it was like an itch that for the life of me, I wanted her to scratch it for me...

Squish.

“Ah...”  A soft gasp escaped my lips when my hoof found the itch; it wasn't just an itch anymore.  My entire body lit up like it was on fire, but in a good way; does that make any sense?  I really don't think it does, but that's really the only way to describe it.

“Woah!”  I squealed again as my hind legs took on a mind of their own and clamped down around my hoof with a soft squishing sound escaping my groin.  I'm not really sure what I'm doing, but it feels so... good.  Like, better than eating ice cream cake with extra ice cream for breakfast.  Which it's funny I should mention that, because I really could go for a-  “Ah!”

Never mind!  I'll take this any day of the week!  Cautiously, I looking down at my hoof to see several strings of some sticky... stuff between it and my nethers.  Maybe I should ask Twilight what that is later; but right now I had bigger problems to deal-

Her scent filled my nose again, sending shudders down my spine and immediately my hoof pressed against me again to scratch the... itch.  I don't know what I'm doing, but I know something amazing is going to happen if I don't stop; I can just feel it.

It felt weird to just let my instincts take over, but the feeling of my hoof just slowly grinding against me is taking my sanity away; which my friends tell me they fear for it anyway... but I don't care right now...  What if it was Twilight down there?  I bet her hoof is softer... better... warmer...

My breath caught in my throat at that last idea; I wonder if Twilight knew about this amazing feeling?  Maybe I could teach her about it...  Well, it'd be more like us both learning what it is, but I really want to learn more about it.  Especially with her for some reason. Maybe I...  Oh wow!  My tail twitched violently and my left ankle felt extremely creaky.  Whatever that Pinkie Sense was, it was going to be a doozy-

“Oh Celestia!”  I squealed while my entire body spasmed, especially that soft, wet part against my hoof that either shut my brain down, or just kicked it into a million times overdrive.  My mind was racing and my back legs were kicking wildly at the air and it felt so amazing and my brain is so fuzzy right now and what just happened?!

I whined and continued to rub my hoof against myself, albeit at a slower... much slower rate; as if I were surfing and the wave just started to die down as I approach the beach.  I'm not even sure how I thought of a metaphor for something so amazing, but trust me; it's even better than what I just said... Imagine riding that wave, but it's made out of chocolate!  No, even that's still not as good...

And... And...  Why do I feel so guilty for what I just did?  Like, there's this feeling of absolute guilt in my chest and it... it hurts...

Suddenly the door swung open, revealing the mare of my dreams with damp fur and a towel wrapped around her mane, “Pinkie, I've been thinking and... and can we talk?”

Her voice was soft and kind as ever, causing that guilt in my chest to only multiply in realization that what I had just done might have been something really bad...  And what if she heard me?  Wait, what if she can smell it?  I didn't realize it at the time, but there's certainly a... scent lingering.

I bit my lip and shifted uncomfortably to hide my shame, praying to whatever divine being that may be listening, that she was just as oblivious as me to what I had just done.