Once upon a time, there was a magical ogre who farted mighty farts out of his great green ogre butthole. He also had a penis and three testicles. This is entirely inconsequential.

It was a peaceful day in Ponyville, as usual. Twilight Sparkle exited her treebrary with Spike on her back, smelled the fresh and plant-scented air, heard the happy birds tweeting, and let out a pleased sigh.

“Ah, what a great day. I smell fresh and plant-scented air, I hear the happy birds tweeting, and I can still let out pleased sighs. If only there were some way to make the day even better than this.”

Spike, still sitting on Twilight Sparkle’s back, provided no input to this open-ended query.

Twilight Sparkle sent input to her legs with the intention of causing them to move such that she would enter a stable walk cycle so that she may arrive at her desired destination in a safe yet fast and effective manner. Her legs acknowledged the input and initiated ambulation.

Twilight trotted forward, heading down the dirt road to an unnamed park. Spike, continuing to sit on her back, had nothing to say on this.

Mere minutes later, Twilight Sparkle, with Spike on her back, arrived at the aforementioned unnamed park. In this park were a few miscellaneous background ponies, frolicking among the flowers, grasses,and trees and generally doing whatever it is that ponies do when enjoying nature with no commitments requiring imminent fulfillment.

As Twilight Sparkle slowly walked forward, she sniffed, snorted, and huffed the natural smells of the natural particulates that filled the air. Boy, am I ever glad that I don’t have an allergy to pollen or any other natural particulates that commonly fill the air in this park, she thought.

As she made pony noises and thought pony thoughts, Spike spotted a background pony who is marginally more equal than other background ponies sitting weirdly on a bench. As Lyra played her lyre with a magical hologram of a sparkly golden hand utilizing a miniature shaped shield to allow it to interact with things, Spike gave a silent wave and a gentle smile. In response, she smiled back at him and used her unicorn powers to create a second hologram of a sparkly golden hand to wave back at him without interrupting the playing of her lyre. For efficiency, this second hand had no shield, as it did not need one. Approximately one second later, Lyra banished the second hand back to wherever it is magical unicorns conjure magical constructs from.

Shortly after this event occurred, Twilight Sparkle stopped walking. “Why?”, one might ask. “Why did she stop walking?”. Well, as it turns out, there was a background pony blocking the path she desired to trace. “Who?”, one might ask. “Who dared to block her path?”. Fortunately for Twilight Sparkle, it was none other than Vinyl Scratch, a sexy pony girl whose coat bears the color of the master race .

Tune in next time to find out what these two horned equines do with their magic! ( ͡° .͜ʖ ͡°)

The magical ogre farted loudly. Biblemann, his roommate, said “Jesus H. Christ! Can’t you do that outside?”

“I could,” the ogre responded, “but where would be the fun in that?”

Biblemann just slowly shook his head sadly.

Just then, John Meme-uh (John Cena’s brother) appeared.

“Memes have reached a level of irony that greatly reduces their comedic value to the average faggot normie,” read John Meme-uh aloud from Stephen Hawking’s award-winning dissertation on epic memes.

Incidentally portalz0r, Regidar hates memes, what a fag.

“Weren’t we all supposed to be dead, decaying parts of a Zombie Killdozer?” asked Twilight to Biblemann.

“Nobody cares about that crap, except for-” Biblemann ripped his own face off, revealing bones and sinew underneath.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH,” said Biblemann as he clutched at his skinless face.

“Wow, what a noob,” said Twilight, before ripping her own face off to reveal GASP the KILLDOZER!

“Haha, I thought I was the Killdozer,” said Faceless Biblemann.

“I am a Killdozer.” said the Killdozer.

“Epic.” replied Biblemann.

Killdozer punched Biblemann in the face.

“Haha, you idiot. Shouldn’t a ripped ya face off. Without the ability to turn the other cheek Christians are powerless. Even Fred Phelps turned the other cheek by having gay sex in an airport.” laughed Killdozer at a rate of six laughs per syllable, meaning if I were to literally transcribe that it would read “Haha, youhahahahahaha idhahahahahahaihahahahahahaothahahahahaha. Shouldhahahahahahan’thahahahahaha ahahahahahaha rippedhahahahahaha yahahahahahaha facehahahahahaha offhahahahahaha. Withhahahahahahaouthahahahahaha thehahahahahaha abhahahahahahailhahahahahahaithahahahahahayhahahahahaha tohahahahahaha turnhahahahahaha thehahahahahaha othhahahahahahaerhahahahahaha cheekhahahahahaha Christhahahahahahaianshahahahahaha arehahahahahaha powhahahahahahaerhahahahahahalesshahahahahaha. Evhahahahahahaenhahahahahaha Fredhahahahahaha Phelpshahahahahaha turnedhahahahahaha thehahahahahaha othhahahahahahaerhahahahahaha cheekhahahahahaha byhahahahahaha havhahahahahahainghahahahahaha gayhahahahahaha sexhahahahahaha inhahahahahaha anhahahahahaha airhahahahahahaporthahahahahaha.”
“I’ve recently been taking an interest in North Korean cinema.” interrupted Twilight Sparkle.

“North Korea is a godless shithole,” replied Biblemann.

“North Korea has movies?” asked Killdozer.

“Yes. North Korea has bad things about it, but it's a genuinely pretty good state. Most of what you hear about them is pretty literally straight lies. It's pretty common to claim someone is executed by the state because someone in South Korea even vaguely hints at it, and then have that person show up. Also all the 'cold fusion' and 'made 30 holes in one' and stupid shit like that. They're anti-imperialist, they make an effort to keep the worker state alive, and they live pretty well. The number of people in work camps are pretty low, in the low tens of thousands (and that's a variety of severity) and is generally for rather egregious crimes. Don't believe propaganda my dudes, people in North Korea are fine, most people love the state (Because it provides them even and positive life), and if they were opened to international trade they'd probably a fantastic example of really successful Socialism (Like Cuba),” lectured Twilight from her big faggot soapbox.

Author's Note

~~Sadly, Chuckward did not contribute to the construction of this chapter. Perhaps he will make something later.~~ Chuckward has contributed! Praise Kek!

This chapter on Jewgle Docs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/198ljc1HRJySe2hkKMYrIG09NG1IVsBwmfnHUE_Sl7_U/edit?usp=sharing