"What are you doing?! These double fudge, triple chocolate strawberry vanilla cupcakes don't go here. They go with the triple fudge, double chocolate strawberry vanilla cupcakes, Silly-head!"

"They're the exact same, Pinkie..." I slumped down on the edge of the counter.

Jumping out of a flour bag behind me, Pinkie screamed, "The same?! It's like you've learned nothing in this wondiferous kitchen, Massy!"

Ugh... again with that name.

"Pinkie." I said, exasperated. "It's Mason. Not Massy, Masony, and definitely not, Massysysysysysy. Mason. Only, Mason."

She pried my face upwards into a smile and huffed, "Even when I force you to smile, you're not happy... are you, Massy?" She deflated, making that comical sound of a balloon losing air.

Turning my head to see her, I almost cried.

God. Fucking. Damn it. Even though she covers my entire body in confectionery every chance she gets, I just can't help myself to stay mad at her. Dat face...

"You fluffy, pink, bastard." I said, reaching behind myself and flinging the party pony over my head and into my arms. "I can only stay mad at you for SO long before I feel like an asshole." I hugged her tightly and heard a small squeak mixed with her bubbly mane popping back up into its rightful cotton candy appearance.

"W-wha... I-uh-uhm, needtogonowbye!" She slipped from my hug and bolted through the kitchen to her room, but not before yelling down the stairs, "YoucantotallyhandletherestofthedayhavefunMassy!" Then her door slammed shut.

"I... You know what? I tried. Pinkie's just being Pinkie."

I finished the rest of the baking Pinkie left half-assed and stocked the display cases with tasty treats for the ponies of the town, and began my walk out the store. I passed Mrs. Cake who gave me a confused look as she wandered her gaze towards the second floor, and I shrugged in response.

Waving goodbye to Mrs. Cake, I made my way out of the gingerbread kingdom and along the dirt trails of Ponyville.

...I guess I should give a little back story. Might be needed to those reading.

My name's Mason Berlow. I had a life of video games, junk food and on rare occasions, random adventures with my friends. Mostly my life was the internet, t.v and of course, boredom.

Nothing extraordinary every happened, and I was a mundane, apathetic, asshole. Just the way it had always been.

That is until an 8-bit Pinkie Pie came across my screen one night after I finished my lurking on 4-Chan. I should have known something would happen if I clicked on it; a virus, a cryptic code downloading, anything really. We've all been there. But, like an idiot I clicked the pop-up and something happened the likes of which will probably never happen to another person; I was sucked through my damn computer, head spinning, and dropped off in a random land full of color. No joke, I think I was on acid mixed with elephant tranquilizers.

I was out for what I assumed was only a few hours due to the sun already being up, but not too high in the sky. But it didn't exactly matter considering I woke up in the middle of a fucking dark-ass forest.

It took me a few moments to compose myself like it would any other, but I think I was pretty good at- Oh who am I kidding, I huddled into a ball and kept repeating, "My mom just drugged my tea, again. It'll all be over soon..."

It wasn't over. After tripping over anything I could set my sight on, and running from a pack of savage wooden-dog-things, (Thank you Ben, for making me join the track team) I saw a mint-green pony just chillen on a bench.

At first I thought, "How is it even sitting like that?", but after seeing the pastel equine take a sip from the milkshake balanced on its stomach, my questions grew far beyond its sitting position. After walking up to it and trying to whisper, "Who's a pretty pony?" like the imbecile I am, she galloped away screaming, "Haaaaaaannnnnds!".

Ponies shouldn't talk. Ever. Or be able to make delicious fucking milkshakes... Yes, I sat down and took her milkshake. I was having a mental breakdown, I didn't think jacking a ponies milkshake was the biggest problem I had to face at the moment. Also, I like a cooling drank every now and again.

By the time I finished the milkshake, the green unicorn (Saw her horn this time) showed up with a gang of pastel ponies wearing jewelry and frowning at me. Mfw? I didn't do anything wrong, (Other than take a milkshake) so, like my usual spaztastic self, I waved awkwardly and uttered a small, "Sup?".

Not the best way to start off but hey, I'm in a land of fucking brightly colored ponies. Don't judge. Realizing I was less harmful than a lamp, they brought me to their rulers, Celestia and Luna. They were extremely understanding of my situation and were total sweethearts to me.

Honestly, I almost didn't want to leave. Luna was brilliant at any game we played. She asked me what I did in my spare time on my planet and she got, "Game." as the response. Confused as fuck, she inquired further. I told her about the glory that was the Xbox, television, and the PC master race. She magicked up an Xbox, a 52'' flat screen and Halo 4. I was utterly shocked, but she tried to explain something about memories being the key and other such rambling. All I kept thinking was, "Game, game, game, game!" I didn't care how, all I cared about was the fact she made it possible.

I created something beautiful in that mare; I created a true gamer. As proud as I am, I was requested (Threatened) to leave the castle because I quote, "My sister, Luna, is a large shut-in already and your magic box and games aren't helping!". Celestia told me that since I'm stuck here, I might as well enjoy it, so she sent me with her student, Twilight (Codename: Spergle Purplesmarts) to Ponyville to learn the "Magic of Friendship". She talked as if I was never going to leave! (I was in deep denial at the time. It passed.)

Spergle suggested that I work for her at the library with her assistant Spike (Tiny wingless dragon). I cringed at the very thought of being surrounded by books 24/7, but gave it a shot.

I ended up accidentally just giving books out to ponies. How the hell was I supposed to know they had to sign the check-out list. Last time I was in a library to get a book was when I was seven!

ANYWAYS. Getting a little off topic. Purplesmarts sent me to her friend Rarity for a job. The struggle continued throughout the day a little something like this; set fire to Rarity's favorite silk, could only knock down a single apple at Applejack's farm, got mauled by tiny animals at Fluttershy's, and with Rainbow? Well, I can't exactly fucking fly.

That left Pinkie. And baking...

Since I never really had to bake or cook anything in my life, I didn't know if I was any good or not. The Cakes gave me a little test to see if I could make something tasty. They told me I had to bake anything I wanted, but it had to up to par with their standards (Fare, right?).

Even before I took my brownies out of the damn oven, they told me I was hired and I could start the next day. It took Pinkie all of a second to attach herself to my back and tell me how much fun we were going to have as baking buddies.

That was almost a full three years ago. Since then, I've earned enough bits (Equestrian currency) to buy myself a nice little home. Nothing special, a little place with a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room, dining room, and a spare room if I ever decide I want to get passed myself being a prick. No t.v, or computer, just my ipod I happened to have finished charging and placed in my pocket before 8-bit Pinkie came by. (Still trying to put two and two together. She says she has no clue what I'm talking about, but her ravages to the fourth wall beg to differ).

And that's where I am, now. Sitting in my armchair, looking out my bay-window, listening to ACDC like a champ.

Normal end to a not-so normal life. Ponies are weird, man.

Pinkie POV

He hugged me... He NEVER hugs me.

But Pinkie, you've hugged him thousands of times. You've even given him a wake-up hug. Remember that weird thing poking you under his sheets?

But he got mad at me for that! Although you're right... I've hugged him so many times it's stupid to not be used to it.

Then why is our heart beating so fast?

*SMACK*

Huffing and throwing a coconut cream pie (HER FAVORITE) at figurative Pinkie, she cannon-balled into her bed where Gummy was to comfort her.

Attaching his toothless jaws to her poofy mane in his affectionate manner, she broke the silence between them.

"Why is my heart going all poundy pound, Gummy? I don't like it anymore..."

The gator blinked a few times in response.

"You really think that, Gummy?" Unhooking his jaws from her hair, he licked her face and flopped onto the bed. "I... But Gummy, he doesn't like ponies that way. Applejack already tried that, and remember his face and the long lines of, "Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope" that followed?"

Gummy blinked his left eye and Pinkie gave a sad sigh before curling up with him in her embrace.

"You're the bestester pet ever, Gummy."

Author's Note

BAM. Got bored and felt sad so I decided to write a happy fic. Don't worry, the happiness IS coming.