To whom it may concern,

I have grown up substantially in the past two years, in no small part thanks to Dashie. I took her in, I saved her life, I fed her, housed her, clothed her, and raised her. But I didn't do it for her, and I realize that now. At the time, I thought I was a saint among men for helping her, and that was how I justified the things I did. I locked her in my apartment for two years, stunted her development, and stuffed her with junk food until she got fat. Instead of doing the rational thing and sending her back, I kept her for myself. I took advantage of her in a different way, and for this, I don't expect anyone to forgive me.

But if you're reading this, you don't care about how I got here, or why. I'm not putting this in my diary, though you may read it if it completes the story for you. All you want to know is what happened after I opened that window.

The answer is nothing. Nothing happened when I opened that window. She sat and pondered and ate her chips, but ultimately went right back to watching TV. I can still remember the last time I saw her. She was fat, weak, unsanitary; a heart attack waiting to happen, and it was all my fault.

But I just couldn't bare to look at her anymore. I had a new lease on life, and I wasn't about to squander it by thinking about how much of a horrible person I was. I was ready to turn it all around.

And to start it off, I literally turned around. I turned around and left the apartment. She had food, she had water, she had an open window. She could stand me being away for a few days. I called Jenny and apologized for everything that happened last time, and asked her for just one more chance. There was an old, nostalgic Disco still running in the north side. I guess the place just opened shop in the 70s, and never got the memo when the fad passed. But more importantly, it was as far from Central as we could possibly go.

I drove her there with $600 in my wallet, and I kept her beside me for as long as I could stretch it. We danced, we bowled, we ate, we went to the movies, and we did everything I'd never gotten a chance to do before. I even brought her to Chinatown and bought her a souvenir: a giant, green dragon made of pure Jade. Well... tinted glass... but it looked like Jade. By the time the night was over, Jenny even let me spend the night at her place. Nothing happened, but I didn't care. I just needed to be away from my own apartment for a while.

The next day, I headed into work with a swing in my step. For the first time in months, Marty wasn't there. At the time, I just thought he was sick. I tried calling him, but there was no answer. I thought he was just taking a lazy day. We all need one of those every once in a while.

So, when I left work, I decided to check on him. I knocked on his apartment door, but he still didn't answer. Nothing from his cell phone either. I gave up, and just went up to my own apartment to see if Dashie had taken my offer. As soon as I opened the door, I felt relieved. The TV was off, the window was open, and Pegasus was nowhere to be seen; though her mess remained. While I waited for her to come back, I put away the groceries. No more chips and sodas, just leafy greens and other things that a horse is supposed to eat.

With the fridge stocked and the mess cleaned up, I saw that there was still one bag of Funyuns left in the pantry. Rather than let Dashie slip back into old habits, I cracked them open myself and sat in front of the TV. Dashie had been watching alot of World War II documentaries, but I had a different idea in mind. I clicked over to a show about homes and gardens, and started noting the addresses and prices of the better houses. I didn't want to live in Central forever. I wanted to move somewhere else. San Diego, maybe. I wanted to send Dashie back to Equestria, and rebuild my life without the guilt. Maybe with Jenny, maybe not. The specifics weren't the point, I just wanted to start over.

I ended up falling asleep with the notepad in my hand. The Funyuns fell to the floor and spilled out everywhere. When I came to, the carpet was a mess, the TV was still showing houses, and Dashie still hadn't come back. I turned off the TV and peeked out the window, trying to look out for anything blue and airborne. In the sky, I saw nothing. On the street, I saw nothing. Among the buildings, I saw nothing. Below me... I saw something. A dainty little blue feather, smashed in a windowsill two stories down.

What I did next was far from wise, but I did it anyway. I tied my bedsheets together to make a rope and secured it to my heater, then lowered myself down two floors until I reached the open window. A wee bit of monkeying, and I was in.

The inside of the apartment was alot more familiar than the outside. It was Marty's apartment, and he was still nowhere to be seen. The feather in the window looked to be from Rainbow Dash, but that only made less sense. I thought the worst case scenario here was that Marty and Dashie had met. But Marty was cool. He would never do anything stupid with that. But why wasn't he answering my calls?

On Marty's nightstand was the case for the Equestria Girls Blu-Ray. The disc was on the floor, shattered into dozens of tiny pieces, but the case itself was left wide open, with a tiny slip of paper stuck in place of the disc.

"...I wouldn't miss it for the world."

On the front of the cover, the signature had been circled repeatedly in red. Rainbow Dash was up to something, and Marty was helping her.

But Bronycon wasn't until November. I still had time. I ran out of the apartment and into my car. I started calling Marty repeatedly, this time leaving messages with every try. Still never any response. I drove all over the city; anywhere I could conceive of them going. I had to refuel my car three times, and never found a single, damn thing to point me in the right direction. And I'd missed work.

Bronycon wasn't until November. I slumped back to my apartment and plopped down on my mattress. The only thing I could do was show up to work tomorrow, and hope that Marty came in.

For the next week, that was the plan. I showed up and did my job. And Marty didn't come in. Same thing the next day. And the next. And the one after that. And the one after that. Everyone I asked just said that Marty had vacation days saved up, and was taking a break. I knew better, but I wasn't about to let the cat out of the bag. So, I kept calm. I did my job.

"You want an order of fries with that?" I'd say to one customer.

"Is that to go?" I'd say to another, as I wasted precious time that I should have been using to look for Dashie.

Five days into my scheme, Jenny came in and asked if I was on for tomorrow. She had bought concert tickets, and wanted to give me one. I accepted, perhaps foolishly, but even though finding Dashie was important, I had to think about my life after this was over. This was something that I had to do, for my future.

And then Marty came in. Just as suddenly as that. He walked in, already in uniform, and stood behind the counter like nothing was wrong. He didn't ignore me, either. It was the height of business hours, and we had orders to fill. In public, I didn't even bother nudging him yet. I would ask him later, after our shifts were over.

But his ended an hour before mine, and he knew it. As soon as he had a chance, he hung up his hat and said his goodbyes. He was out the door in seconds.

Not even bothering to clock out, I ran outside and caught up to Marty. Now he was ignoring me, and fastwalking too. But, refusing to take a hint, I followed and pestered for the next block and a half. I had said alot of things to him in that timespan, but apparently none so outrageous as "She's my friend."

Marty socked me with a right hook that could crack a brick. I was on the sidewalk before I could flinch. I will never forget what he told me afterwards.

"Is that how you treat your friends!?" he yelled. People on the other side of the street just turned their heads and kept moving. "You lock them in your apartment for two years, fatten them up, brainwash them, estrange them from their friends and family, and lie to them about who they really are!? Is that how you fucking treat your friends, you pervert!?"

I could only lie there on the pavement, and listen in abject horror.

"I thought I knew you, man. And I knew that you were fucked up. But I didn't think this was what you were capable of. Making her call you 'daddy' for food; keeping porn of her under your bed... you sick, fucking pervert!" He stopped ranting for a few seconds. Long enough for me to get a word in edgewise.

"I fucked up," I admitted, "And I deserved that. I deserve even worse." Marty turned and looked like he was leaving, until I stopped him. "But we can make this right. We can still save her."

"Like you 'saved' her last time, you prick?"

"You saw the movie. It's a mirror. The portal is a mirror. We just have to send her back through it."

"She doesn't want to go through the mirror anymore. She wants to go to Bronycon," Marty countered, then paused for a moment to think about what he had just said.

"Listen to yourself, Marty. That's ridiculous. Rainbow Dash is a..." We stopped when we realized that people were staring now, and had been for the last minute or so.

We continued our talk in a nearby coffee shop. Hopefully alot quieter this time.

"If Rainbow Dash shows up at that Con, she'll be caught for sure. And not just by fans. Police... soldiers... She'll be sent to Area 51, or wherever they keep something like her. But if we can find her before that happens, and send her back through the mirror, she can have another chance at life."

Marty thought about what I had offered him, and eventually nodded his head. All that he wanted to know was which mirror it was. And that was as legitimate as concerns got. Where would we even start looking? The flower shop? The alley? There are a million different mirrors in this city, and it could be any one of them.

And so, as friends, we just searched them all. We decided on starting near the alleyway where I first found her. The one with the rat skeletons. It wasn't long until the shop owner asked what we were doing rummaging in his trash. It turns out that he's a very religious sort, and when the mirror he used in floral displays started to make weird noises, he had it taken to the city dump.

I ended up missing the concert. Jenny forgave me, but I never got a chance to ask her out again. After a few weeks, she got another boyfriend. All the meanwhile, Marty and I searched the city dump every day after work for the next several months.

It was Halloween when we finally found it. Only a few days left before Bronycon. As mirrors go, this one was fairly unassuming. Simply a flat pane. No decorations, or frame of any kind. About the only strange thing about it was the fact that it remained uncracked to this day.

Unable to resist the temptation, I of course poked my head through it. I'm not sure what I expected to see, it was just some old cellar surrounded by barrels. Equestria it was, but I'd have to be a fool to go there now, with so much at stake.

When Bronycon finally arrived, Marty and I were ready. We parked outside the venue, and staked it out all day and night. For what seemed like eternity, it was coffee and binoculars. The festivities went uninterrupted, for the most part. Some idiot got kicked out for showing up roaring drunk, but that was the worst of it.

"I still think you're an awful human being," Marty told me, breaking the silence. "keeping her trapped and brainwashed for so long... nothing can make up for that."

"I don't expect to. I just want to fix this mess."

"And how do we do that? We can't just force her through the mirror if she doesn't want to go."

"Then we talk her through, Marty. Remind her of everything she left behind in Equestria."

"Remind her of what? She has amnesia. You hit her with your car!"

"Something! I don't know! Something!" I finally shouted out. "If you hate me so much, don't worry. First chance I have, I'm moving. I can't stand me either."

I had to get out of that car. I asked Marty to call me if he saw anything, and ducked into a taco shop for a quick meal. It was fast food, sure, but it was okay. A greasy, meaty burrito with extra sour cream. Just what every growing manchild needs.

I figured Marty could hold the fort without me for a little, and was in no rush to see him again anyway. I decided to spend some time in the bathroom to clear my head. I splashed a good deal of water on my face and sat down to think. It's amazing the kind of things your mind jumps to.

you suck

you are worthless

you are selfish

too little, too late

you are the reason rainbow dash wants to kill herself

you killed rainbow dash

she trusted you, and you drove her to suicide

she trusted you

...

The burrito didn't stay with me for long. I was hungry again; and the sour cream smelled even more pungent than when I was eating it. I thought about ordering something else, but found myself short of time when my phone rang. The con was wrapping up, and Marty needed me.

I arrived back at the car, and Marty handed me the binoculars. It only took me seconds to see her standing on the roof of the venue. She hadn't crashed the party. Not yet. It was like she was there for the same reason we were.

She was waiting for someone.

As the fans started to pour out of the building, Rainbow looked down on them with a watchful eye, scanning everyone in the crowd. She picked through every plushie, cosplay, and art print without bias. Every friendly face, every John and Jane Doe, every nerd and every happy soul. Of all these thousands upon thousands of people, she was only waiting for one. And she hadn't found them yet. This continued for a few minutes, though she occasionally ducked her head back to avoid being seen, or retreated briefly into the shadows.

But then her head suddenly jerked up, and back. Her wings came out as she flew out of my sight, and behind the building. She was probably in the parking lot.

"Let's go," I called. Marty and I grabbed the mirror, got out of the car, and sprinted to the lot. We had to slow down to wade through an enormous crowd, but they were a nice enough bunch. We had made it to the lot within minutes.

And there, we saw Dashie just standing out in the open, her eyes fixated on a woman in a car, as she looked back at the pegasus just once and drove away. Rainbow saw us as we approached, but she didn't try to run, or fight. She only acknowledged us.

"I'm not going back to the apartment," she said, stoically.

Marty showed her the mirror, and told her that she didn't have to. "You can go home, Dash. Your real home. You can get back to your life."

"What life? I don't know who I am, who I was, or what I'll do. I can barely fly, I'm stupid, I don't even have my cutie mark, and I've only spoken to three people in my whole life. All I have to go on is some stupid cartoon that tells me I'm a world-famous athlete. How am I going to live up to that?"

She collapsed on the pavement in tears. If she had more to say, I wasn't going to hear it. Not a single intelligible word left her mouth. I crouched beside her, and offered what little advice I could.

"I feel the same way, too. And I guess through this whole debacle, I've just been trying to prove that I wasn't. I tried to prove I could raise a child. I wanted to prove that I was a better man than everyone always told me I was. And I failed." This wasn't helping her, but I continued, "But I know why I failed. I failed because I tried to prove something that wasn't true. All my life I've been resenting other people, even the whole city, and trying to pin my failures on them. All my life, I thought that I was better than anybody else in this city, and just needed a way to show it. And that's why I failed. I couldn't prove that I was a good man when I wasn't."

Rainbow started to cry even harder.

"But I'll tell you what I could do. I could be better. I could take responsibility, and fix things myself. I could stop blaming other people, and learn to get along with them. I could make myself the man I'd always wanted to be. I could even take the worst mistake I've ever made in my life, and do everything humanly possible to make it right." She stopped sobbing, and looked up to listen to me. I finally had her attention. "The world dealt you a bad hand, Dashie. And alot of that is my fault. But if I could change my life, then so can you."

Marty leaned the mirror against a brick wall, and threw a pebble through it to prove that it worked. The glass shimmered briefly as the tiny stone passed through it unhindered.

"You have friends waiting for you in Equestria, Dashie," I reassured her. "Show them you're still alive."

Rainbow Dash sighed, then climbed back up on all four hooves, and walked toward the portal. She stuck one hoof through the glass to prove that it was real. The hoof disappeared into the other world as tears of joy ran down her muzzle.

"Bronycon's a heck of a place," Marty interrupted, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes," Dashie stated simply, never breaking eye contact with the mirror. Without wasting another moment, she took several steps forward, and her head disappeared through the portal, followed by her forehooves, her torso, her rearhooves, and finishing with the very tip of her tail. One of her hooves stumbled on the edge of the mirror as she walked through it, and the entire thing fell and shattered on the pavement. Bits of broken glass littered the parking lot, a final remnant of what had just transpired here.

It was finally over.

And that's how I sent her back. I am writing this final word from the middle of the Central bridge. It's looking to be a very cloudy day, but I thought I should say something. I still haven't heard a word from Jenny. And Marty, true to his word, still hates my guts, even if he won't acknowledge it publicly. That's fine. I'm not going to change minds if I don't change myself first. The houses I want are still way out of my price range, but I might be able to finish my degree if I move to Miami. I have an uncle who lives there, even though we rarely spoke.

Perhaps I'll do that. Perhaps.

Author's Note

It's long overdue, but I finally finished this fic. It's not the original ending I had planned in 2014, but it's one I am more proud of. Originally, I had the narrator chasing Dashie through Equestria as they both ran through the mirror during Bronycon. The narrator then got told off by Celestia and sent back home, where he threw himself into the river.

That was a dumb ending. I'm glad I went with this one.