Sitting in the Shower with Bottles of Cider

Sitting in the Shower with Bottles of Cider

Friendship?

It is not raining, instead the sky has taken on a sunny perspective. I don't particularly like it, but the air sure is warm and pleasant. There are many smells that I haven't experienced before as well... they must be pretty strong too... since my sense of smell freaking sucks.

I quit my job a few days back... I've saved up enough money to go to school, at least until the Equestrian Service Mandate kicks in. It'll pay for 36 months worth of school, allowing me to do a job like... say... be an engineer? I think that's what I want to do. I want to work outside and make things, so I figure being an engineer is one way to do that and still make decent bits.

But that's not why I'm writing today...

As you probably know... if you're reading this, that is... and pray I don't find you, I spent a lot of my life moving around... so I don't make friends easily, nor is my trust freely given. What was the point in making friends if they were going to disappear into the sands of time right after you made them? Rarely did I have time to make the good memories that so many ponies tell their foals about. So I never bothered, especially since when I did, I was often betrayed or used. That doesn't happen any more, though. I just don't let it happen. I demand respect before friendship.

Anyways... while I was at my job, unloading cargo, loading cargo, making sure everything was in order, I met a plethora of varying personalities, most of which I at least founded an amicably neutral co-existence with. That being said, we didn't get along all the time, but always found enough in common to finish the job and forget any transgressions to be replaced with laughter and jokes shortly thereafter. I even found a few whom I looked up to for their life experience and, despite some of their revealed history, outlook on life after having survived their trials.

I had thought I would be happy to be free of the job, considering some of the ponies working there were particularly lazy.

But I'm not.

I mean, I'm not happy, that is.

Not only am I now bored as all Tartarus, but I'm missing the daily company of those whom I worked with. The hoofbumps and greetings, the different personalities and experiences. It bothers me that I do miss them, but it also doesn't. One might ask why... and I'll tell you.

I used to pride myself on self-sufficiency. I still do, but it was ingrained in all aspects of my life. Even the social ones. Now that I've had a taste of what... friendship... might actually be... I kind of want more.

So is it friendship? Is that really what I was experiencing? I guess I figured that the guard life was how things were supposed to be, with ponies hating each other, but working together any ways because that's what was required to survive. It's all I've ever known. Growing up, it was the same way because I was always the new foal on the block, except without as much 'jolly cooperation.'

What changed? Was it the ponies? Was it me?

IS this friendship?