Equestria Route Zero

Equestria Route Zero

Act One, Scene One – Equus Oils

My name is Big Macintosh. I work for the family antiques business, delivering goods to our customers & taking their antiques back to the store, should they wish to sell us any of their old curiosities if they’re a bit strapped for cash. Or, at least, I was. Since a routine delivery approximately three years ago to some backwater place in the middle of nowhere near to Baltimare, I haven’t quite felt the same.

I pulled up to the gas station on Interstate 65, the sound of crickets filling the air as I killed the engine of the old company truck, the life leaving it at a very slow pace. I keep telling myself to tell Granny Smith that we need a new truck but I never do, I could never replace Dad’s ol’ truck.

Opening the driver’s door, I struggled to get out as Winona, my sister Applejack’s pet dog, rushed to get outside before me, the stuffy air of the cabin combined with the smell of motor oil clearly getting the better of her more than me. I smiled at the old dog, she was past her prime but she was a good companion to me for these long journeys, especially ones like todays.

Looking around the nearby area, signs of life were minimal. The occasional commercial vehicle or touring family car sped by on the interstate every so often but the only person in sight available to talk to was an old man sitting comfortably on an old Princess Celestia armchair, one in very good condition too that any one of my family would kill to get their hands on it, considering how rare these items are & how profitable to the business they would be. But something was off: the old man hadn’t noticed my arrival, nor had he moved since I had arrived. Cautiously, I approached him.

“Hello?”

“Damn!” The sudden noise from the old man’s mouth caused both Winona & I to jump from our skins, the volume loud enough to deafen the old fool himself. He looked to me, his greying hair & dark glasses catching the sunset in the horizon.

“Did you hear that wreck?” He spoke as if continuing a conversation from a previous encounter. “Truck full of bottles – I dunno, beer bottles? Cider? Lost a tire or something, & spilled booze & glass all over the interstate!” I still don’t know what he was on about, as I didn’t recall any accidents whilst travelling along the interstate.

“What a mess! I hope they don’t come down here looking for anything; we blew a damn fuse & it’s all shut off!” He paused as I can only assume he came back to reality at this point. “Did I hear a dog? What’s your dog’s name?”

Composing myself, & glad for the chance to finally speak, I told him, “Her name is Winona.”

“Sounds like a sweet old hound. I used to know a dog like that. Hey, here’s some jerky for her. I made it myself! Didn’t turn out too well, but I bet a dog will eat it.” He threw the jerky in the general direction to Winona but she knew better than to accept gifts from a complete stranger, & a rather strange one at that.

“Getting late, right? I can feel the sun on my neck. I bet it’s just a few feet off the horizon.” Looking up, I could tell he was right & that I was cutting my delivery time close.

“I’ve been driving all evening looking for ‘5 Timberwolf Drive’”. The old man put his hands up in response.

“Hey, I understand: you have got to do the job you’re paid to do. Maybe have a rest in there; maybe have a drink. Then back at it. There’s something in that rhythm.”

“So, where is Timberwolf Drive?” The impatient hint in my voice had to have been heard at this point.

The old man leaned forward, pointing his finger towards the interstate. “Listen, you & Winona would’ve been driving up & down sixty five all night. Timberwolf Drive is on the other side of…” He stopped abruptly, his face going from his neutral state to a confused one. He leaned back into his chair, his face taking a slightly sinister hint.

“Well, to get there you’ve got to take the Zero.” My own confusion registered in him as he looked up at me, clearly noticing that I had never heard of the place.

“Tough route to find, but you can use my computer to look up directions. You’ll have to head down into the basement & reset the circuit breaker first. I’ll be happy to have those whining lights back up anyway; it’s too damn quiet out here. You can get to the basement through the back of the office. Appreciate your help, friend!”

I stood there a while longer considering his request. True, I was lost but why didn’t the old fool just tell me? Still, what faced me currently was better than what the guy suggested. I made my way to the office of the gas station, looking up to see the words “EQUUS OILS” dimmed out against the lavender skyline.

Looking around inside for a source of light, I noticed a few oddities that really looked out of place for a gas station office: a small, old fashioned TV sat in the corner, looking abandoned & hardly used, more Princess Celestia chairs that were placed in another corner for passerby’s to rest their feet or to catch some sleep. I found the light switch & flipped it. Nothing.

“Yeah, I thought that wouldn’t work…” The old man’s voice bought me to attention. “There’s an old lamp down by your feet. Should be some oil in it so you can get a light going.”

Looking down, sure enough, he was right. Picking it up & lighting it, I was surprised to see the thing was still capable of maintaining a light source. It looked a few hundred years old – a proper antique! With the light now aiding my vision, I could see clearly as to where the basement door was, along with closer inspection at the quality of the chairs. Mud was scrapped across the legs, the seat torn from misuse. Seems the only one worth saving was the one occupied by the old man.

I descended a spiral staircase into the basement, the lamp very quickly becoming more & more reliable to me in the darkness, even if it only penetrated the dark a few feet. Looking around on the way down, pipes of various sizes descended from the gas station into the depths below & a sign caught my eye on the way down. Pausing my descent, I took a look. It read:

THESE ARE THE RULES

1. No open flames near the gasoline

2. No consumption of beer or spirits on the premises

3. In case of sudden darkness, do not panic. Relax. Count backwards from five.

4. Strictly limit time spent in the basement to fewer than three minutes of every hour

Confused by that last one, I continued on. Once at the bottom, I looked up, the last light of the sunset peering in through the door tens of feet above me. I looked around & found instruments all around, & a table with a group of people sitting in the dark playing what looked an odd game, three girls all roughly in their twenties. Whatever it was involved maps, various sided die & some weird pieces of paper.

I approached the group & cleared my throat. “Have y’all seen a breaker box down here?”

One of the girls looked up from the table, & asked the closest to her “Hey, Bon. Did you hear something?”

“Uh, no. Sorry Lyra, I was looking at the rules again.” Bon did look confused, although I couldn’t blame her. I still didn’t know what game they were playing.

The third one now spoke. “It gets easier as you go. Look, you said you rolled a ‘five’, right? That means you get to pick up your marker & move it anywhere on the map.”

“So it’s your turn now, right Minuette?”

“Oh, yeah I guess so. Where’d you put that twenty-sided die?”

Lyra looked around the table. “I don’t see it. Did you drop it?”

“Uh… It should be easy to find. It glows in the dark.” Says the mare not even looking, I thought to myself.

I cleared my throat again, with no response. I spoke up. “Did you lose something?”

Minuette stood up. “I think it rolled off to the left there Lyra, but I don’t see it.”

“Well, I’m not going to go looking for it. It’s too dark down there.”

“One of you go down & get it, & I’ll just… study the rules here.”

At this point, talking to the three of them was pointless so I elected myself to find their die if they were so incapable of doing it themselves. I ventured deeper into the darkness, trying to spot the smallest object in the room. Minutes later, & I was on the verge of giving up.

“This is stupid.” I said under my breath, & turned on the spot ready to leave when a small twinkle caught my eye, the blue hint attracting me to investigate. I turned back & moved towards the area where I saw the flash. Still looking as lost as a dodo, I suddenly recalled the information one of the girls had mentioned earlier in finding the die. I turned the light in my lamp out & sure enough, the die shone a bright blue in the middle of the darkness, a shining beacon if you will.

Smiling, I picked it up, the number ‘five’ proudly presenting itself to the world. Turning the lamp back on, I made my way back to the group, expecting a few words such as  “thank you” & “sorry for ignoring you earlier”. I looked towards the table, holding the blue die aloft… but there was no welcome party. Any clue as to the group’s existence was gone, no maps, no trace of any of their other die. & I thought it was weird earlier.

Looking up from the abandoned table, I could see the breaker box for the electronics just further along past the game table. Popping the die back in my pocket, I continued & flipped the lever. Almost immediately, the hum of the generators filled the room & light flooded in, blinding me momentarily. Once back to normality, I turned off the lamp & continued to look for the girls, but to no avail. I left in confused spirits.

Once outside again, I was relieved to be back to over ground. The sign for EQUUS OILS shone out bright & proud, shining the same brilliant blue as the twenty-sided die against the night time sky. The old man was still sat in his chair &, despite the now obvious hum of the generator below my feet, some crickets could still be heard here & there.

“There it is.” He said in a proud voice. “Just listen to those lights whine. Yep…”

I felt I should tell him. “There were some people in your basement playing some sort of a game. They’re gone now.”

He looked up at me, more confused than the last time he looked that way. “In the basement? No, I don’t think so.” He chuckled heartily. “Maybe that lamplight was playing tricks on you, huh?”

Realising I wasn’t playing his game, he recomposed himself. “Well, strange things happen underground, especially in the dark… So! Computer’s in the office. You’re looking for ‘Sparkle’. She knows her way around these roads; she’ll get you to the Zero. The password is… uh… damn.” His confused face did little to help me or the situation.

“I usually just feel it out. ‘Muscle memory’, you know? It’s kinda long, kinda like a short poem, I think. One of those short poems that really sums it up. You’ll figure it out.”

I made my way back to the office. Computers weren’t exactly my forte but I knew a poem couldn’t be a password for a computer. More likely the password for some mystical doorway in one of them old mares tales people read to their young. I hit a key & woke the computer from its reverie. The screen flashed to life, with the prompt of “PASSWORD” & a number of options. I chose & typed out the ones that stood out the most.

The stars drop away. The moon throbs. The lights whine.

“PASSWORD ACCEPTED” flashed up on the screen in bright green lettering.

“How’s it going in there? Figuring it all out? Sure you are.”

“Does this guy every shut up?” I thought to myself. Going through the address book, I found the reference for the Sparkle household true enough. The screen read:

Sparkle Residence

100 Macondo Lane

Head north east on I65, turn left as soon as you see that big ugly tree that’s always on fire. Look for the barn at the base of the mountain there; can’t miss it.

“Got it? Out there on Macondo somewhere, right? Yeah, that’s it.”

I scowled the man at his ignorance. Like I said, why didn’t he just tell me this stuff? I made my way back to the truck, opening the driver side door for Winona to jump back. Looking at the side, I read the company name in my head. Apple Antiques. Furniture, glassware & curiosities.

“Hey, look, while you were down there I loaded that old TV of mine into your truck. I borrowed that thing from Twilight Sparkle a number of years ago, & now that the power is all weird over here I can’t pick up anything but static & public access anyway.”

I still couldn’t believe that this guy wanted me to do stuff for him. I swore that I’d never come back to this gas station then & there. “She was always more of a reader, but maybe she’d want it back at home. It’s a nice TV!”

With disbelief still etched into my face, I got into the cabin & faced Winona.

“How’s it going, old girl? What do you think of this place?” I looked back at the old guy through the cabin window. “Seems like they’re really in the rocks. Take it easy, Winona.” I bought the engine back to life, ready for the drive to the Sparkle residence. It took a while but following the old guy’s instructions took me past the indefinitely burning tree & to the base of the nearby mountain. Looking up the route, there was indeed the Sparkle household that could help me in my journey.