Equestria Route Zero

The light of the sun filtered in through the window, it's rays elegantly falling onto the kitchen table. The warmth of the morning sun was encapsulated by bird song, another tell-tale sign that it was going to be another lovely day in Equestria. The smell of freshly made tea wafted throughout the room, as I took my place at the table.

“Eighty-three & sunny now, looks like it's gonna get up to about one-oh-one by late afternoon in Trottingham & one-oh-three in Baltimare, not a cloud in sight so get out those parasols, ha ha! Major accident just ahead of the Dodge Junction exit, so if you're headed to work on thirty-one you are late, my friend, ha ha!”

The radio, as usual, was on. Every time I woke up for work, & made my way to the kitchen, it was on. It's cheery sounds always helped in perking me up, even if the tea didn't.

“Sugar?”

Looking up, my sister was opposite me, holding a cup of sugar in her hand. Even this early, Applejack wore her trademark Stetson. She never looked tired this early.

“As it is.” I said.

“That's what Dad used to say...” She now sat at the chair perpendicular to mine. “I had a dream about him last night.”

I nodded my head. “I heard you yelling – bad dreams?”

“We were up on a roof.” She explained. “Dad & I, & Mum. Eating a light supper. I was drinking sweet tea. Mum was reading. We were surrounded by other houses, closely packed. Huge side-walks, it must have been a... what's that word...”

“A subdivision?” I suggested.

“That's its. I'm sure. Below us, a group of people were gathered. A man was reading from a book.” She took a deep swig of her own tea before continuing. “I asked Dad about the weather. Would it rain on Tuesday or when would the sun set, something like that. He wouldn't answer me. Mum stood up, & Dad told her to watch her step, & then I remembered...”

Her voice petered out, replaced by a small sniffle. She held her head low for a short time & I reached to comfort her. As she looked back up at me, I could see a single tear running down her face.

“...Ah woke up before ah could stop him.” Her classy demeanour finally broke. It was good to hear her natural accent once again.

“Mum was alone on that roof.” It wasn't the first time that I'd had to remind her that it wasn't her fault.

“Ah guess she was.” She dabbed her eyes with her shirt collar, drying up the tears & regaining her composure. “She was so bright. Our friends said... what was the word...”

“Imaginative.”

“That's it. How could I forget...” Her voice faded away once more.

“It wasn't her fault.” I consoled.

“It wasn't anyone's fault, Big Macintosh. That's what we mean when we say it's...”

“An accident.” I finished.

“Sure.” She just sat there, nodding her head in agreement. “Well... We have a mail order delivery today. Might be a long drive. I hope the truck can hold up.”

Applejack stood up, taking a final swig from her mug before moving over to the sink, looking outside the window.

“They sent it in by mail?” I asked. Most deliveries I had experienced were pick-ups, so this was highly irregular.

“Maybe just a shut-in. I don't recognise the address. The order is all... I'm sure we can fill it.”

I got up from my seat, joining Applejack at the sink, but leaning against it with my back towards the sunshine.

“Guess that'll be the last.” I too finished my tea, & put the mug to one side.

“I guess it will be. The last act of Apple Antiques. The... oh, what's the word...”

“Finale.” I said plainly.

“...maybe... No, that's not the word. I just need to think a bit... More tea or something. Or I've had too much.” Applejack turned to join me, now facing away from the window. I put my arm around her.

“It'll come to you.”

“Maybe. I'm not sure anymore. It seems inevitable there will start to be words that I lose forever.” We stood there quietly, the song on the radio quietly filling the silence in the room. She sighed, & moved into the hallway, still being visible through the kitchen door. She soon returned, a inquisitive look on her face.

“What are those boxes you set in the hallway?” She asked.

Quietly, I said “Those are Dad's old books.”

A barely audible “oh” emanated from her lips, that sad look returning to her face before she shook it away. I explained to her that she had wanted to look through them once more.

“Thank you.” She said, a small smile etched on her face finally. “I'll take them with me. Applebloom should be here soon. Will you wait with me?”

I smiled lightly, a small laugh escaping from me. “Sure, AJ, I'll wait with you.”

& there we waited for the rest of the morning. The DJ was back, his cheery voice continuing to fill the silent void, like the song before it.

“There's your traffic & weather in the fives – that's every ten minutes – brought to you by the Consolidated Power Company. Stick around for “Old Equestrian Home” with Rarity, helping you turn your humble home into a mansion. After this.”

Act Three, Scene One – Whooves Residence

All I could see was darkness. I opened my eyes, but all I could see was an engulfing brightness, blinding me, forcing me to go back into the darkness. My hearing was enveloped in a cascade of noises, the sound of the ocean being the most prominent noise in my head. I shook my head, & slowly opened my eyes. The whiteness & the barrage of sounds slowly left. My hearing returned to once again find the doctor half way through another speech.

“...but that's only if you make a late payment on a follow-up visit; I think everything went well enough here that they'll only want to bill for -”

“Oh! He's awake!” Although slightly blurry, the blue hair of Shining Armor stood out in the sea of haze. “How do you feel, old man? All fixed up? Whooves says you might be a bit 'sleepy' coming out of it, so -”

“I was dreaming.” I interrupted. The doctor stepped in to view now.

“That's unlikely. Neurypnol TM is quite powerful. In fact, many patients report a sensation of 'lost time'. Do you feel like you've lost time?”

“I guess so.”

“It's been about two hours.” Shining Armor said, looking at his watch.

“Feel like I got some rest.” This was true, my leg no longer felt like a burden.

“Good. Now how about that leg? How's your leg feeling?” asked the doctor.

“Yeah, that's the important part.” said Shining Armor.

Blinking myself awake, I looked down to my leg. Except my leg wasn't there. At least, not my own. In it's wake was a skeletal leg - a glowing orange, skeletal leg. I shifted my body weight so I was sitting up straighter. It moved with me. I moved the joints & all responded as they should. I couldn't help in moving my hand to feel it. My skin touched the roughness of the bone, right up to the cuff of my jeans, as they had now been rolled up high on that leg.

“Well?” asked Shining Armor.

I looked at him, dread in my eyes. “This isn't my leg.”

In return, he blankly stared & said. “Not your – of course it's your leg!”

“It looks wrong. You replaced it.” I tried to sound calm.

“Hm. I haven't encountered this... reaction before. But it's not totally unheard of. I read a paper about something like this last year. It can happen for a lot of reasons: neurological, psychological, social... I'm sure it won't persist in your case.” explained Whooves. He took a chair from his kitchen set up & placed it opposite the sofa I was sitting up on. “Your thoughts & feelings are probably still a little nebulous, from the Neurypnol TM. That's totally normal. It'll pass. I wouldn't recommend driving, at least for another hour or two, regardless.”

I wasn't listening. I was too engrossed in my new leg, a leg of two possibilities. Either both the doctor & Shining Armor were just playing it cool & ignoring the fact that my leg was physically replaced, or this is just a side effect of the drugs.

“Let's talk about a few things you should be aware of: recovery, rehabilitation, & side effects.” he continued.

“I should have plenty of resting time coming up soon.” I said.

“Goof for you.” Doctor Whooves smiled brightly. “Vacation, or...?”

“More like unemployment.” I couldn't have put it more bluntly.

“Well, at your age...” He shook his head in dismissal. “I want to  be clear: you should expect lingering effects of the injury for more or less the rest of your life. Don't immerse it fully in water. Avoid extremes of temperature. I'd stay away from dusty roads & mountain lions, as much as possible.”

He got up from his seat & put the chair back in its home. Both Shining Armor & I looked at each other, confused by the doctor's last comments. “Mountain lions?” Shining Armor had asked.

“Good advice in any context!” He shouted from across the room. “Best thing you can do is keep it clean & free of debris.”

“How often do I clean it?” With my drug-addled mind, I wasn't too sure if my leg was natural & not, so I thought best to ask, & to see if it could confirm my suspicions.

“I'd say about once a month. If you find yourself unable to avoid overly dusty or moist environments, you'll want to clean it more often.  &, of course, have a doctor examine & re-calibrate it every twelve months or so...”

Re-calibrate? Did I hear that right? A headache was building in my cranium, because of the drugs – I don't know, but maybe because of this guy's quick speaking & piles of information. Finally, looking away from the leg, I saw Doctor Whooves standing completely still, a fishing rod in one hand.

“So. Do you have any questions? Anything about the bill that didn't make sense? I don't mean to rush you, but I have an early fishing trip.” Of course he did.

“I don't want to think about that bill right now...” I said, getting up slowly from the couch.

“Sure. Well, you can go over it later. If you have any questions, there's a number at the bottom of the bill where you can reach the Consolidated Power Company – they handle all the billing. I wouldn't put it off too long, if I were you.” Nodding his head, he made towards the door, about to grab the handle before stopping himself. “Oh, one more thing. Don't be alarmed if you experience any side effects of the Neurypnol TM. Typically, we see daydreaming, deja vu, pensiveness, fugue states, irregular perception of time... about fifteen percent of patients report a generalised sensation of 'lateness'. Nothing to be alarmed about. Just keep it in mind.”

“Thanks for your help.” said Shining Armor. & with that, the doctor left with fishing rod in hand. Almost immediately, Misty replaced his presence, jumping in through the door, with the doctor doing well to keep his balance on the way out.

“Julian's outside. We can head back to your truck.” she said.

On the flight back to the Museum of Dwellings, Misty had decided to 'hang out' with us, as she put it. She said that Julian was capable of moving the houses on his own. We didn't really question as to why she wanted to join us. By the time we had gotten back, the thunderstorm had dissipated, with only the high winds remaining. Still in one piece, the truck sat where it had been parked over three hours ago.

“How are the drugs treating you?” Shining had asked.

“I feel a little distracted.” I replied. It was true that the drugs that Doctor Whooves had given me were dizzying but I was still mainly focused on the glowing skeletal limb that was my leg. The only possible reasonable explanation was that this was a side effect of the drugs, but the doctor hadn't said hallucination was a side effect.

“You're probably tired, too. I usually feel more tired after a late night nap. Hey, you ever take anything for that? Caffeine pills, or...?”

“Never.” I said.

“Well, it's... common in your line of work, right? The company store had some pills the miners used to stay awake. My folks had a peculiar relationship with medicine.” He continued on with explaining.

“We almost never had a regular doctor, or health insurance, or anything like that. Our social stuff was a mess for most of my childhood, or something like that, so we only qualified for state programs in small patches before something or other would get contested, & we learned to just pile on dentists appointments & stuff in those short windows. If a cut got infected or her migraines were too much to handle, Mum would talk to so-&-so who knew so-&-so – usually another miner - & end up with some pills. & instead of medical advice, every pill came up with gossipy anecdotal warnings & superstitions. Like all this lore that came with it. Like magic. Dangerous. Mysterious.”

“Twilight's folks couldn't help?” I asked.

“Yeah, they had pretty good health care through the university for a while there. A couple of times, they'd swing something so I got a bit of whatever Twilight needed...” he said. “In high school, Twilight got some of these pills to help her focus. She was so smart, but always going off in different directions, mind racing, like five conversations going on in her head at once & you're lucky if even one of them is with someone in the room... you know. So she had these pills, & they seemed to help. I was struggling in school too. Failing my history class. She offered to share the pills.”

“Sounds dangerous.” My scepticism wore too thinly at times.

“Yeah. They seemed pretty harmless at first. I guess that's why I kept going with it. One day I was sitting on my bed, my notebook was open next to me on top of a textbook, & I was holding my pen in my hand. I remembered this moment from several moments before. It came up so suddenly, with such precision, I couldn't put it out of my mind. I felt I had to stay with it until I'd recalled the whole thing perfectly.” he continued. “It was just a tiny nothing moment – my mum patching up a side of a birdcage, winding some spare wire around the frame to reinforce it. I was fixated on that image, & that sound. The cage kind of bending & twanging as she worked on it, wrapping & knotting, scraping copper against paint like bowing a rubber violin with a rail-road tie. My parents came home from a triple shift & found me still sitting there on the edge of my bed, pen in my hand, delirious with thirst, patching that birdcage with a thousand yard stare.”

Silence fell on our group. Not even Misty was being her usual loud self, all of us interested in Shining Armor's story.

“So... what's the plan here?” asked Shining Armor, breaking us from our stupor.

“Er...” I staggered. “We should try to get in touch with that clerk.”

Shining nodded in agreement. “Yeah, OK. These files we got from the storage facility are all tagged & stamped – there's a phone number... Oh, it's long distance. Weird. Well, we can head back to my workshop & use the phone there. My landlord has a pretty good phone plan. He's always calling home to Saddle Arabia.”

“Sounds good to me.” I said, as we all piled into the cabin of the truck. Within moments, we left the parking lot of the Museum of Dwellings, with Misty shouting out her goodbyes to Julian at the top of her voice. I'm pretty sure that made Shining wince a little, if not disturb Winona from her slumber.

We headed north following the route around the lake that would take us to Shining Armor's workshop. But something didn't fell right. A cough. A splutter. The truck slowed slightly. I looked at the dash. I still had fuel, what was going on? Applying the brakes slightly, & putting the hazards on, I coasted the truck onto the side of the road & turned the engine off.