Chapters You call yourself a Chaos God?
Twilight was having her usual day. Study, then chat with friends, then save the town from some odd occurence or help a friend with some odd problem. It was a cycle that continued no matter what she did, but she was content. Normal was good. It could always be worse.
Discord saw this and was shuddering and shaking in pure rage. Everything was so normal, and he couldn't do a damn thing! He had said he'd be on his best behavior to the princesses, and if he wasn't, he'd be back in his stone tomb. Granted he still made a few exceptions from time to time, made a swirling vortex here, replaced the town hall with a bouncy castle last Tuesday, used Celestia's horn as a tooth pick yesterday... for the third week in a row. These little things were all he could do nowadays, and even all this minor stuff had to fixed immediately, or else he would be punished! There's no justice in this world! Nothing grand, or spectacular. It was torture, pure and simple. Physically, the absence of chaos was hurting him. He had recently found it difficult to get up after laying down, and some days he could barely move. He felt like he was slowly withering away... that or he could of just been being over dramatic, but it was still boring.
He paced his new home, a cave on the outskirts of Ponyville. Oh, how the boredom was slowly killing him. It felt like the less that went on, the less healthy he got. He looked to the heavens, desperate for something, anything to help him in his time of need! He walked to the entrance of his cave and desperately thought up ways in which to get back into his life. And, almost as if his silent cry for help had been heard, Discord saw something falling from the sky. Well, it wasn't really falling so much as drifting. What in tartarus was it?
When it finally got close enough for him to inspect it, he could already tell that he was going to like whatever it was. It was a giant floating orb, with a white, reflective surface. It wasn't in any way normal, and if you haven't guessed from the last two long paragraphs, non-normal = good in Discord's book. He slightly poked at it with his talon, wondering just what it did. He got no response. He then tried speaking to it.
"Hello?"
Again, nothing. 'Okay, this is getting disappointing fast.' Discord sighed and turned around.
"Wait, hold on!"
Discord snapped his head around to see the orb turning into something else. It slowly sprouted limbs, two arms and two legs. Each arm was about two and a half feet long, and ended with something that resembled his paw, only it was thinner looking, and had five smaller appendages growing out of each one. The legs were much like his, only they ended in these weird, L-shaped formations, and the feet were nothing more than these weird, horizontal, elongated spheres. Discord kept watching in a curious fascination... Which slowly turned into boredom as this thing was taking an eternity to do whatever it was doing.
Discord yawned as the thing sprouted a small head which showed the first form of fur, which was slicked down and black in color, as everything else was bald, dark brown skin.
"Oh, hurry up would you? I get it, your turning into something. Big whoop."
The thing seemed to sigh and sped up the transformation.
(One sped up transformation sequence later)
From what used to be a giant, sparkling orb of some sort of magic, came a man in a suit in tie, with slicked back black hair, and a small pair of glasses. He slowly readjusted them as he looked at the draconequus, unimpressed. He stretched his back as Discord stared at this new creature in a bemused way. After the creature looked like it was done, Discord decided that, now would be a good time to question the... whatever it was.
"Why are you here?"
"Well, because I have to be." The entity said with a slight grin.
"What's so funny?"
"I just like that, this is the one place in my usual stop that has absolutely no human beings, er, this form I'm in if you need question what a human is, and you are the only one of the three that hasn't asked me, 'What are you?' first."
"Other stops?"
"Listen, I could give you an entire book on what I do, and what it's for, and who I visit, and who I work for. But I don't need to. What I do need, is for you to explain to me why you've suddenly stopped being the fun little abomination that you are supposed to be."
Discord was both getting amused and pissed off at this 'human being'. He had absolute confidence while speaking to him, which is something not even the mane six or princesses could do, but he also made it seem as though he were, believe it or not, more powerful than the great ruler of chaos, Discord!
"And just who, pray tell, are you?"
The being raised an eyebrow, and then shrugged.
"You can just call me boss, or Sir, or Boss Muda."
"Muda?"
"Yes, that is also a title."
"Listen Moody, you want to know why I can't have fun around here?"
"That's why I came, yes."
"I'll show you."
Discord led Muda towards the vortex he had already opened earlier. He used some of his magic to show somewhat of a slideshow of all the instances in which he was turned to stone (there were three to be exact, one by the two princesses Luna and Celestia, one by the mane six, and another by the mane six which had happened recently). Discord sighed at watching his failures.
Then the vortex exploded, which blew Discord back a bit and made him land on the cold, stone ground. Muda was pulling at his hair, an extremely enraged look on his face. His eyes were so wide that they grew past the lenses of his glasses.
"Are you kidding me!"
Discord was shocked. Nopony had ever been able to actually tamper with his magic, or even completely annihilate a creation of his. He slowly started to crawl backwards as Muda walked towards him.
"You dare call yourself a God of Chaos! Any individual could tell you that the task of eliminating all threats in this universe is about as difficult as putting on a hat!"
Discord, against his better judgment, decided to speak up. "That may be somewhat difficult for me, what with the horns..."
Muda lunged forward, and in the blink of an eye one of his arms transformed into a drill. He stuck the new appendage right to Discord's neck, and moving his face a mere inch away from Discord's.
"Listen closely. I am here because I am the advisor for all chaos. You have completely lost your character. I'm not supposed to help in any way, but seeing as you're too pathetic, weak, and completely incompetent, I am left with no choice but to do the job that you should've done. I will take away these powers that besmirch yours, and have them placed where they can never get to you."
Muda seemed to calm down while giving his little exposition rant, and he walked back to the cave entrance. Discord called after him.
"Wait, don't hurt them!"
Muda stopped, and without turning around, questioned Discord.
"Why?"
"They're my friends. I could never hurt them, that's why it was always tricky to stop them. I tried hiding their weapons, basically destroyed who they were, and even tried to snuff out the source of their powers. None of it worked!"
...
Muda turned to Discord.
"How about this draconequus: I make you a promise that I, personally, will not hurt any of your friends. In exchange, if they somehow escape the place from which they came in, say... two year's time, I will leave you alone to once again wallow in your pathetic nature. If they do not escape, then I will destroy this universe, along with you."
Discord was aghast. This was a lose lose situation.
"Why destroy me, if you succeed in getting rid of my enemies? Where's the logic in that?"
Muda smirked. "And you call yourself a being of chaos. Here's the logic. It looks bad on a resume when you have a malfunctioned item."
A small wind came up and Muda's body disintegrated, blowing away like dust on the wind. That dust all came together in mid air and formed that shining orb that had appeared just five minutes ago. It then flew away, off toward Canterlot. Discord felt his neck, and brought it up to see blood. His own blood! Discord didn't even think he had blood. He staggered upright and went over his options for action. He could got to Celestia, but she'd probably think he was trying another trick. As would the mane six. He could let this all happen without a care, but then what would happen if these ponies were indeed stuck for two years? He would be destroyed.
This was the first time in a very, very, very long time that Discord actually feared for his existence. Nopony had ever had the power, or the nature, to actually destroy Discord. He also feared for his frienemies. What did he mean, he would not personally hurt them? Discord put his paw and claw to his head, in frustration and confusion. This was all giving him an immense headache. What to do, what to do?
Luna was asleep on her bed as Celestia guarded the day in Equestria. Her dreams must've been pleasant, as she had a smile as she gently turned to her left side to sleep more comfortably. As to what her dreams were about, one could only guess. Her slumber began to get a bit more restless, as apparently her dream began to take a turn for the worse. Then, to her small ears, came a tune. At first this tune calmed her, and her rest again became peaceful. But then she became partially awake, and she focused more on the soft melody. Where was it coming from?
She opened her eyes slowly, still carrying a little sleepiness. She got off of her bed and looked around the room. The music sounded close, and yet, there was nothing there to make such a noise. Then she noticed that the window was open. She looked outside. Out there, there was a small item. 'A record player? Whose could that be?' she wondered. She looked around and saw nopony around. She shrugged, and was going to go back to bed, but then heard another thing.
"Help!"
It sounded like... Celestia?
"Help! Somepony help!"
Luna ran to her window again. She jerked her head left and right. She knew the sound came from outside, but where? She jumped out the window and floated down. The entire time scanning the perimeter. She was in the garden. She walked closer to the record player when she landed, and noticed that the yells seemed to come from it. She scowled. 'This must be some rude joke.'
She went over and clicked the power button with her hoof. Instead of giving off no sound, the tune still played, quieter, and a new voice started talking.
"Little Luna, always out to protect others. Possibly out of some weird moral code, possibly out of regret for her short time of jealousy turning her into a monster that would try to kill her own sister, or maybe because she's afraid if she doesn't, she may let back in a power that once took control of her before"
Luna gave the device an odd look, and clicked the power button again, to no avail. The voice kept talking, but at this point, she decided to stop listening. She stomped on the machine, doing absolutely no damage surprisingly, and walked away. Or she would've, but she found she couldn't move after hitting the record player.
"What's this?"
The voice was now becoming louder.
"Luna, the flawed one. The one that frightened little foals back then by just the mere mention of her name. Nightmare Moon."
"Shut up, you cursed contraption!"
Luna struggled against these invisible bonds that held her.
"Now, Luna, go to sleep. You've had a difficult life."
"No, not now! I'm better!"
'Wait, what am I doing?' she thought, 'I'm talking to a record player.'
"Whoever is doing this, show yourself!"
Nopony came at her call. The garden was empty.
"Luna, rest. It'll make this next part easier and less painful."
"What?"
The tune now took over, slowly making Luna's eyes droop, though she still struggled.
"Must stay awake! Must get out!" She said to herself.
The melody continued to ease her muscles and cease her struggling. As her eyes began to droop even lower, she saw that there was something coming from the whole of the record player. It was slowly pulling her towards it. It looked like a black vortex! She tried desperately to move, but as her horn entered through, she closed her eyes, and screamed "HELP!"
It never came though, and soon there was no trace of the princess of night, or the record player. It's tune lingered around for a little while, before fading away. And the gardens were still.
Over in Ponyville, Princess Twilight was flying around, still trying to get the hang of the art, when she heard an argument from below her. She looked down and saw her two good friends, Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack. Rainbow Dash said that she had seen something flying across the sky while she was cloud bashing, and said that she thought it was an alien. When she told this to Apple Jack, she discarded it.
"Rainbow, I don't think this is tah get worked up about. It was probably just some magic something or other."
"Well, if it was magic, then why did it talk?"
"What did it say?"
"It said... uh... I can't remember. Something about 'pending doom'?"
"Are you sure you didn't just drink too much cider before goin out night flying, again?"
"Yes I'm sure!"
"Well if it was talkin bout doom, then we should probly tell Twilight bout it."
Neither of them noticed that Twilight had glided down to say hello about a minute before hand, and had listened to their conversation.
"Tell me what now?"
Both the pegasis and earth pony jumped at their friend's 'sudden' appearance. Rainbow Dash raised her hoof and went to speak, but was cut out by Apple Jack.
"Rainbow thought she saw some kinda weird alien in the sky."
Rainbow countered. "And Apple Jack thinks that it was some weird sort of magic."
Twilight pondered this. "Were you drinking too much cider before flying?"
"No!"
Twilight shrugged. "Just making sure. So what did it look li-."
"AAAAHHHH!"
All three of them turned to hear the cries of two different ponies, both distinctly the voices of two of their other friends, Rarity and Fluttershy.
"That sounded like Rarity and Fluttershy!" Apple Jack shouted.
"It sounded like it was coming from the Everfree Forest! Apple Jack, go get Pinkie and Spike. Rainbow, let's go!" Twilight exclaimed. She and Dash flew towards the noise while Apple Jack ran towards Twilight's house. As soon as Twilight and Dash entered the forest, a weird melody entered their heads, along with a few more screams.
Meanwhile Apple Jack opened the door of Twilight's tree house to find Spike... with Rarity and Fluttershy?
"Oh, hey AJ," Spike said nonchalantly, motioning her to come in. "What's up?"
"Rarity? Fluttershy?"
They both nodded, with Rarity giving out a response.
"Yes? Oh, I was just over here to pick up a book on-"
AJ cut her off. "Wait, if you're all here, then, who was makin all that racket in the forest?"
"What racket?" Fluttershy asked coyly, as usual.
"Twi, Dash, and I all thought we heard a noise outside, and those two went to investigate while I was going to get Spike and Pinkie just in case we needed back up."
"Back you up with what?"
AJ jumped a little and turned around to find Pinkie Pie sitting right beside her. Pinkie giggled slightly. "Sorry."
Just then, two loud screams could be heard from the direction of the Everfree forest, again. Only this time, it didn't sound like Rarity and Fluttershy. It sounded like Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. All four ponies and one dragon all widened their eyes at the sound. Without anypony speaking, they all ran outside and towards the forest. As soon as they entered, something odd came to their ears. What sounded like soft bells ringing, in a little tune, followed by voices that rang through the trees in a calm "Aaaahhhhh."
Muda watched as the remaining ponies were put to sleep, and sucked inside of his trans-dimensional device. He looked at his watch, showing 7:06 AM. "And the clock starts now, ponies. Have fun in hell, and pray to Celestia and her small time cohorts that you will be brought back. Good luck."
With a grin, he snapped his fingers, and his entire being went up in flame, and disappeared. Little did he know, that there was that was behind him the entire time...
A/N: That's right, all the good stuff is happening next chapter. Also, for those wondering what the tune is... it's Nox Arcana's Labyrinth of Dreams.
Author's Note
Well, I started watching the series about... four months ago, and ever since the second episode, I knew.... this series... would be fanfiction GOLD!
Thank you for reading, I hope you had as much fun reading as I did typing.
James, Danny, and Kevin were all busy dragging the unconscious bodies inside, while Winslow talked to the little girl scout. Said girl scout was about 9 years old, medium length blonde hair, and very tall. She was almost as tall as Danny!
"Ok kid, thanks again for the chocolate chip cookies, make sure to tell your mom that you've been a good little sales girl, and just remember to tell her that you lost your cookie supply to muggers and just happened to find $100 on the ground."
"Yeah, yeah. I got it. And no telling the cops anything, blah blah."
"Smart kids these days."
"Have a nice day mister."
"Yeah, you too."
Winslow scanned the area, but thankfully everyone in the park and everyone on the other side of the road seemed to be sleeping or at work. He looked back to his trailer to see the last of the bodies being pulled in. He was about to follow when he noticed the little girl still standing there.
"Uh, you can go now, kid."
"Well it just occurred to me, Mr., that you aren't in any position to tell me what to do. I mean, I could still go and tell the cops..."
"Fuck me, fine. How much more do you want?"
"Oh, I don't know. Judging from how much money it looked like you have, I'd say an extra five hundred wouldn't be outa the question."
Winslow seriously considered shooting this little girl in the face, but that would only cause more problems and then they'd really have the cops roaming around.
"Sure, let's go get your money, you little fuck faced wise ass."
"Thanks shit head. That'll be and extra hundred bucks to add on for every bit of trash I hear spewing from your mouth."
Winslow now had the unfortunate task of keeping all of his insults for a nine-year old girl scout inside his head... shit!
The two entered the trailer house and Winslow got the money, while the girl watched the other three tie the bodies up.
"Why are you tying up dead bodies?"
"Cuz there not dead." James responded, semi-irritated that the girl was still around.
"So, why tie them up?"
"For all we know, they might be crazy drug induced morons who could get all stabby and or shooty when they wake up." Danny replied.
Kevin got done tying and looked at the kid.
"If you don't mind my asking, little one, why are you still here?"
"Why are you wearing an ugly mask?"
Kevin said nothing, and went back to examining the bodies, checking pockets and the like.
Winslow returned with six hundred dollar bills.
"Whoa whoa, I said an extra five hundred, as well as adding a hundred for every insult thrown."
"Yeah, five hundred plus one hundred. Six hundred dollars."
"No, original hundred, adding extra five hundred, plus one insult, equals seven hundred."
"Yeah, I had a feeling you'd try to swindle a few more bucks." Winslow reached in his pocket and gave her another hundred. "Your mother must be proud."
"I'm sorry, did you just say you wanted to give me even more money?"
Winslow sighed and threw up his hands. "I didn't say anything of the sort."
The girl glared right into Winslow's eyes. She stood up a little higher
"Damn right. Now I may pop back in later, and if my innocent little eyes still see something that may seem illegal, well, you're going to be buying some expensive cookies... for a loooong while. So have a nice day, sir."
Winslow watched as the girl then calmly turned and walked back out with money in tow. She gave one last little smug smile before shutting the door hard, making Danny jump in surprise.
"What's her problem? She just got several hundred dollars. If I were her I'd be much happier."
Winslow still felt sore from the confrontation.
"Danny, if you were her you'd have already spent $100 by now and literally drowned yourself with wine."
"Like I said, I'd be happy."
Kevin tilted his head and motioned for the others to take a look.
"What is it Kev?"
"It... looks like Latin... I fond this note in the pocket of the lady. Maybe they're from Italy or something."
"Kevin, what exactly would a group of Italians be doing around this neighborhood, let alone this city?"
Kevin shrugged, and James took the note. "Hey, I think I know what this says. Esto vigilans, et mente. It means..."
"Wake and remember."
The four boys' heads snapped towards the adult, who now stirred softly and woke.
In one of the alleyways of New Mangrove City, a larger place about thirty miles NorthWest of Emerald City, a bright flash appeared for a second. And in that short second, two beings materialized. One of them a tall Native American man with long black hair tied in a ponytail, and the other a very pale man with light, curly blonde hair. Both wore black tuxedos and black sunglasses. The Native American drew out an what looked like a stick, until it split in half and displayed a hologram of the world.
"So," the pale one commented in a slightly high pitched, whiny tone (not that he was whining, just kinda that higher, more annoying voice). "I'm guessing we're at least in the right continent this time."
"Indeed," said the Native American in an odd British accent, "and our targets are no more than forty eight point two eight zero three kilometers away."
"Good, good. We get to walk thirty miles." The pale one sighed. His partner gave an annoyed gaze.
"Hey, at least it's not like last time. Last time we had to hunt assassins in Europe and she transported us to Australia."
"In my defense, there were a lot of Europeans there at the time."
The Native American touched his ear, which was implanted with a chip that connected him to their comrade. "It's quite alright. We still ended up getting him. How about some intel on our newest targets?"
"Ok. So far, it looks like... ah, seven targets. It looks like in their previous world some were able to have magic abilities."
"So can they still do it here?" The pale one asked, getting less whiny.
"No, they're powerless. Though it seems there is still a strong connection between three of them and whatever world they came from. The pattern of their arrival looks familiar. I think it could be something with Muda."
"Damn." Both beings said, with the Native American one looking more angry, and the pale one looking more concerned.
"Either way, this is a standard procedure, just end the newcomers, and everything should be fine."
"Yep, standard stuff, right?" The pale one looked hopefully towards the Native American, who just looked bitterly at the sky. The pale one sighed and touched his ear.
"So, who are these newcomers? Cause if they're assassins again, or beings from the Disney realm or the Baccano realm then I think I'll let Muda do whatever the hell he wants."
"They're ponies."
...
"Ok, now seriously who the hell are we hunting?"
Both beings could hear a sigh in their ears.
Discord popped just outside the doors to the palace of Princesses Celestia and Luna. He knew that ever since his last little espionage, he wasn't allowed to teleport in, under threat of stoning. He lifted his paw to rap on the door, but paused. Now, apparently something was going to happen to his pony friends. Something bad. But also, maybe something that wouldn't let them use their powers against him.
He slowly lowered his paw, putting his talon to his chin while pondering his situation. 'True, they may be hurt, but when am I ever going to get this chance again? I could actually cause some chaos without the bore patrol to stop me.' Then again, he didn't really know what happened to them, and maybe the thing was already vanquished, like so many other random foes of the ponies. But if this being was powerful enough to actually make him BLEED, then he was sure it could at least take on one of the ponies.
"Hiya Discord, whatcha thinkin about?"
Discord jumped out of his train of thought (which had just turned into a literal thing that was flying above his head), and looked down at Pinkie Pie, who tilted her head and smiled at him.
"Oh, so that moody guy didn't actually get you ponies yet?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind." Discord was half relieved, half disappointed. He would've had a chance to bring back some chaos to this boring, cheery world around him, and that little happy thought of his was taken away by the mere presence of this little pink pony. He frowned as he spoke. "So, where are your friends?"
"Oh, they got sucked up in an evil whatchamacallit and placed into another dimension." Discord had to do a double take as the pony just sat and smiled.
"I'm sorry, did you just say-"
"Yeah, that evil thing in the suit did it. After I got sucked up I just went back and saw him standing alone and giving a melodramatic speech. So, are we going to go talk to Princess Celestia about the problem?"
...
"Well Pinkie, how about you go talk to her, while I... go rummage in my cave for some... supplies that could help us out." Discord gave his best innocent smile.
"Okey Dokey Lokie!"
Pinkie then cheerily walked past him and went into the castle, while Discord slowly backed away, until disappearing with a pop. 'Looks like I'll get to have some fun after all.'
Muda watched all the actions through vortexes happen with small smile. He was glad that Discord actually realized the potential for free chaos. 'Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.' He then moved his attention to the vortex showing the two agents. 'Oh goody, it's him again.' he thought with a malicious smile as he looked at the taller of the two. This was indeed going to be a fun little test. It was unfortunate how inevitable the result would be. It took away all the starting suspense.
"Well, I'm sure nobody up in management will be too sad to see this universe destroyed. Even if it is still decently popular. I need to keep my image up if I want a promotion." Muda stretched his arms, closed his brief case, (with the vortexes sliding in), and got out from behind a desk. He carried his briefcase out of the large building and got into a small car, which he drove to his small house.
He inhaled slightly and exhaled loudly as he entered his cozy abode, all made possible by his job as God of Gods: Chaos branch. Soon he hoped to get a promotion to God of Everything, but he'd have to knock down a few guys in front to get to that position. Still, it was nice just existing in the master universe, having control over so many insignificant lives that were created just for the entertainment of those in his universe.
He got to his bed and jumped into a laying position. He got under the covers and went to sleep. Tomorrow may just bring some nice results.
Author's Note
Well, it appears that I got a comment, and about 8 people bothered to inform me of either their dislike or their like for this moronic story I've come up with... honestly I flattered. Thanks for all the read guys. Have a pleasant day.
Princess Luna
She awoke from a long slumber, only to immediately be greeted by a splitting headache. It felt as though she were being bonked on the head by a pipe. It didn't help that there were these new voices talking much too loud. A saying kept pounding in her head. 'Wake and remember! Wake and remember!'
"Wake and remember." Luna muttered aloud, as if that would get it to stop. As she tried opening one of her eyes, she found it was a difficult task. She shut it immediately, the lights around making her head ache even more. She did however hear the voices stop. Hoof steps could easily be heard walking closer to me, only instead of making the usual clop noise, they instead sounded a bit more muted. She decided it must be a subject coming to aid her. The princess was grateful to have somepony beside herself here. Maybe they could explain the events that had transpired.
She forgot what had happened previously, there was something about her sister being in trouble, and that was it. She tried thinking about what happened after, but relentless pounding in the cranium made that a bit hard.
"Excuse me, ma'am? Are you alright?"
Does this subject not know who I am? Does he just not prefer to use the official title of Princess? Oh well, better address him in the royal fashion.
"Yes, we are alright."
"Oh, ok. So, um... why were you unconscious in front of my trailer?"
She went to rub her forehead to try to relieve some of the pain, but she found she couldn't move her hoof. She struggled a little to move, thinking it was still... wait, what? Still what? Gah, she almost remembered what had happened! What had happened to her?
...
And what was a trailer?
"What? We don't know how we got here. We were hoping you could tell us."
"Ok, so you guys are all in a group of some sort?"
She opened her eyes, and went to respond. "What do you mean, 'you guys'? Wait, what are you?"
"Oh, well my name is Tommy, and my sincerest apologies for tying you up. You know how it is around here, with all these addicts and shit."
"No, I mean... what species are you?"
"Huh?"
Luna had her head cocked to the side as she stared at this odd being. It only stood on two hooves, only had fur on the top of it's head, its snout was not elongated as it should be, and for some reason it wore pants and shoes but not a shirt. Luna was going to ask the same question again, but instead decided to go with something that (she hoped) sounded more nonchalant.
"Why is it you do not wear a shirt?"
Fwap!
Oh, well there's something familiar. Luna remembered Twilight Sparkle 'face-palming' whenever she got annoyed or agitated. Apparently, Luna had done something to offend this creature.
"That's a long story."
It rubbed the back of its head with a hoof, which she now noticed had some weird, worm like appendages growing out from the stub. Then, another creature came forward, probably the same species, though the skin was considerably lighter, as well as some other minor differences in appearance. This one did have a shirt on, (so at least she hadn't insulted some culture), and he had something in his lips, with a burning tip pointing out directly at her. His eyes seemed to be staring straight down the little cylinder, gazing right at her face with a blank expression, eyes moving ever so slow, as if analyzing her every inch. It was certainly enough to make her feel a bit uncomfortable.
"She isn't any sort of drug addict, that much I'm sure of."
"How can you tell?"
"Speech pattern, position, and air of elegance and self-righteousness, mixed in with a lot of confusion, but that's normal."
The first creature gave the second a surprised look... wait, what! Of course Luna would hold herself in elegance, she's a princess and the co-ruler of Equestria for buck's sake! And self-righteous! How dare they! They even tied me up! Had Luna not been so focused on the confusing creatures and pounding headache, she would've noticed the rope binding her earlier. She tried using her magic to untie herself, but for some reason, nothing happened.
She tried to put all of her energy into it, and indeed, after a little while, the rope did slacken a bit. Success!
"There you go. Sorry again for the rope. I hope you can understand our caution."
Strike that, another creature was untying the rope.
"We-" Gasp!
Luna was taken aback by the appearance by this new creature. It had the same structure as the others, but its face was exceptionally... creepy. There was no other word that could fit... well, truthfully there were many unflattering remarks that could fit well, but creepy was definitely the best. Its face was a medium light blue, drastically darkening into a pitch black the lower her eyes went. There were even a few streams of that pure blackness coming from its eye... sockets? It had no eyes! Was it blind? Could it see? Just what were these things!
Wait! Stay calm. Luna was sure that if she just stayed calm, she would be able to get some information as to how and why she was here. Maybe, if she just told them who she was, as they obviously (and confusingly) didn't know who she was.
"We can honestly say," she said slowly to the disturbing one, making herself loud enough for the other two beasts to hear full well. "that we don't. We happen to be royalty."
The disturbing one crooked his head, the first one squinted his eyes in confusion, and the scrawny one looked suspicious. Luna then heard another voice.
"My ass! Tie er back up man, she's obviously fucked as shit."
"Shut up Danny Boy. Let's just untie her and the rest. It's clear they're not addicts." the scrawny one exclaimed. Addicts? Rest?
The first one started to argue with the scrawny one, while Luna looked around for those it was referring to. She easily saw more creatures, all tied up as she was, and all wearing clothes that had certain patterns to them. Each having familiar looking manes... and each looking very oddly like some ponies she knew.
...
Luna slowly looked down at herself, seeing the rope, but also seeing two appendages sticking out from her chest. She tried moving her hooves, and discovered that there was a weird feeling. Like, there were five little worms stuck to her hoof, and she could feel them. They were a part of her. Just like the weird hooves of the... creatures.
"Are you alright ma'am?"
The two pale creatures came closer, and Luna was able to see her reflection in the little one's glasses.
Surprise was quickly dispelled from her senses as they shut down, and she collapsed into unconsciousness.
Celestia
Princess Celestia was having a slow and boring morning, but she was happy for that. She was glad that everything was peaceful, and was mostly glad that there was no evil king, queen, or monster to try and overthrow the land. Looking through her telescope atop her giant tower, she viewed her kingdom. The great city of Canterlot, with its citizens dressed in stylish, upper class manners. Their facial expressions ranging from sneers to glares, and their over all vibes of energy at a constant negative. Celestia sighed while looking upon her richer subjects. She wished they could be happier, and less uptight.
Ponyville, with its inhabitants exceptionally more cheery and upbeat, either chatting with one another or helping each other out. Celestia felt a smile grow on her face as she watched these joyful ponies live their little lives. Their energy was so much more positive, and everything about this little, green town just made Celestia think of happy times. Times she had shared with her sister Luna back when they were just fillies. Back when they would go outside and play, while their mother an father took over the duties of making night and day. Celestia had always spent so much time with her sister back then.
Nowadays she was lucky to even speak one word to her. Luna was always so tired by the time morning came around, and Celestia herself was always exhausted by the evening. Then again, Celestia knew she shouldn't focus on something like that. She needed to remain focused on surveying her kingdom. Besides, at least Luna wasn't Nightmare Moon anymore.
Celestia continued to view Ponyville. There were the Cakes, selling their desserts. Over there was Zecora walking with the CMC. Over there was a cross eyed pegasus walking next to brown pony near a big blue box of some sort. A little bit north was... a storm of pink clouds with brown colored droplets of precipitation falling from them...
"Ok. So it's going to be one of those days."
"One of what days?"
Celestia had lived for thousands of years, and in that time, even when some of the most unexpected of things happened, she knew to control her surprise, and how to refrain from gasping in shock, and the like. That is why she turned so calmly to a semi-smiling Pinkie Pie who happened to be sitting right behind her.
"Hello Pinkie Pie. Listen, it looks like Discord is back-"
"Uh huh."
"so I'm going to need you and your friends to knock some sense into him."
"No can do."
"Ok."
...
"Wait, what?" Celestia asked, thinking she heard Pinkie Pie wrong.
"Yeah, I came here to tell you that the others all got sucked through this creepy sounding vortex thingy."
"A vortex thingy?"
"Yep. Some big meanie did it because he was mad at Discord."
Celestia's brows furrowed. A being that was mad at Discord took away Twilight and her friends. Why? What did Discord do to upset something that apparently has enough power to create vortexes that ponies can transfer through?
"Wait, I thought unicorns could transport themselves using magic."
"They can. What makes you ask that?"
"Then why are you surprised that something has enough power to transport ponies through a vortex?"
Celestia opened her mouth to answer, but then realized something.
"How did you know I was thinking about that?"
Pinkie cocked her head in an innocent fashion. "You said it, just now."
'I did?' she thought.
"I did?" she asked.
"Yeah."
Celestia was going to respond, when she heard a scream come from outside. She looked through her telescope to see that apparently Discord was arriving in Canterlot, with the clouds forming above the city, making the atmosphere much darker.
'One problem at a time, I guess.'
"Well, since this has something to do with Discord, we might as well ask him about it. Pinkie, go wake up my sister."
"Oh, didn't I tell you?"
Celestia raised her head from the telescope and slowly looked at Pinkie Pie, who was getting up to go out the door.
"Tell me what?"
"It took Princess Luna, too."
Celestia stared at the spot Pinkie Pie had been standing, not even flinching as Pinkie Pie closed the door rather loudly to go to who knows where. Twilight, her pupil and close friend, was gone. The other protectors of the elements of harmony, were gone. Luna, her little sister, her longest friend, and the last thing left in the universe she loved with all of her heart, was gone. Every muscle in Celestia tensed as her eyes went from shocked confusion to a determined glare.
This probably wasn't the best time for Discord to pop into the room with his usual smug grin.
"Yo, sun-butt! Wazzup!"
Author's Note
As Fall Out Boy once said, Thanks for the many reads, thanks for the many reads!
Author's Note
If you thought I was slow on the update before, just you wait and see... And I do mean WAIT! Gonna be a long one comin up.
Why is the door locked?
Muda
Muda awoke with a start. His eyes were struggling to stay closed, as they yearned for more rest, but he inwardly knew that he had to get up. He could tell by the way the sun was just beginning to shine through the window that the time for sleep was gone for another day. He groggily got up and rubbed his eyes. Stretching his limbs, he went to his dresser drawer and got out some clothes for the day. It was a Saturday, so he put on some casual attire. His weekend black tuxedo with new black moccasins and matching black fedora. Truly, this was the worst he ever dressed.
Muda got into his car and drove downtown, looking at the random civilians he passed by. He occasionally waved to the rare child walking down the street, and nodded to all of the glum adults that milled around. Obviously the working class citizens. No cars, no fancy clothes, no happiness. Their existences were bleak and meaningless, and this only made Muda's smile all the wider as he sat in smug satisfaction behind the wheel of one of the few automobiles around. He was someone important. And he needed to keep being important, so he could enjoy the little things, like lording over the commoners.
'This is the good life.' he thought. And he'd be damned if that ended.
Just like it did for so many others... like Belas...
Muda squinted his eyes as one of the suns beamed down upon his town. His smile didn't feel like returning for the rest of the day.
James
James was having an over all interesting day. He stood in the kitchen, swallowing some aspirin along with Winslow as both Kevin and Dan untied the unconscious bodies, which were all laying in the main room. James had absolutely no idea what to do. He figured that there was probably a simple solution that was just staring them straight in the face, but for the life of him, he couldn't tell what it was. Seven people just randomly get dropped on his doorstep, along with a suitcase carrying God knows how much money, and he couldn't contact authorities, as they were growing pot in their home. The only one of these people to wake up was only conscious for a short time, before going sleepy shortly after.
...
'Ok, so there might not be a simple solution.' he thought to himself with a groan.
"So what should we do?" James asked Winslow. The scrawny kid responded nonchalantly.
"When the woman, or any of the others wake up, we ask who they are, what they were doing here, if the money is theirs, and make sure they don't see the illegal substance we grow. They go on their merry way after and we live on as usual."
'Oh, never mind. Simple solution found.'
Dan and Kevin walked in to the kitchen, Dan with an irritated expression on his face, while Kevin... just sorta followed. It was always pretty difficult to tell what he was thinking or feeling. Dan let out a quick sigh, which was his warning to those around him that he was about to start whining.
"When the hell are we gonna get rid of those pricks?"
Winslow closed his eyes, leaning on the sink. "Whenever they wake up and tell us where they came from."
"Why can't we just toss those fuckers out onto the street? They aint our problem."
"Because if a cop were to see seven bodies on the street, I don't think he'd just keep driving."
Kevin piped up. "I don't mean to sound harsh, but I'm pretty sure most of the police force around here would do their best to ignore things that would make them work."
"No, they'd love to arrest us if they got the chance. If we were rich, or popular with the society in this town, then maybe they'd ignore us. But you have to remember that they make a sport of arresting people in the lower classes of Emerald City." Winslow deadpanned, gaining a barely audible mumble from Dan. "Pig bastards."
James looked back at Winslow. "So, just from those few words she said, you could tell that the woman isn't some sort of freak or druggie?"
"Believe me, my friend, most druggies around here are barely comprehensible. Even our household has that problem." Winslow looked directly at Dan when he said that. Dan, instead of defending himself from the silent insult, merely showed what he felt was the proper response. He flipped Winslow off. James groaned at the duo's antics. He then turned his attention towards Kevin, who was casually leaning on the fridge.
"So, how are our distinguished guests?"
"All of them still have a faint pulse, save for the oldie. She seems to be a restless sleeper. Kinda felt like waking her, but then I was scared she'd try to kill me."
Dan cuffed his brother in the back of the head.
"Jesus, kid, just cuz she moves in her sleep you're pissin yourself over the fact she might slap ya?"
James then cuffed Dan in the back of the head. "Shut the fuck up Danny."
Knock knock!
"Hey King, why the hells the door locked?"
For once that morning, the four boys all stopped bickering, stopped worrying over the bodies, and all responded to this sound with a unanimous "Shit."
James slammed his head into a wall, actually managing to leave a crack. "Why does God love making us miserable?"
Winslow sighed, patting James on the back. "Listen, I'll be the one to talk to him. I'll go out the back door and try to converse with him outside, try to get him to leave. Kevin, Danny boy, get the bodies in the bedroom. Make sure-"
"Not to crush the plants, we got it." Danny said with a wave of his hand.
"Yeah. James, help them with that. Also, just so you don't get asked again, should Murray want in, put on a shirt."
"Yeah."
Murray
An average, working class citizen. An outstanding individual. A terrific father. A fit and healthy, handsome guy. These terms were all absent from the list of words that described Murray.
Murray woke up that morning like he usually would. A headache and an amount of beer bottles on the floor to make the entire country of Ireland blush. As he stumbled through the bottles and trash that replaced his carpet, he heard what sounded like a sizzling sound.
"Ok, either Tim's lightin a firework, or he's tryin to make bacon again... Lord let it be the firework."
POP! Clang!
"Crap."
Murray heard a voice come from the kitchen in his trailer.
"Hey, Murray, ya know how ya told me to never try and cook..."
Murray rubbed his forehead in agitation.
"Listen, you little shit! If I come in that room and there's any sort of mess covering the walls and ceiling again, I will personally break my foot off your sorry ass!"
"Jokes on you old man, it's only on the floor!"
"Oh, well in that case, you've only lost your alcohol privileges."
"What the fuck man!"
"Right. Me man, you boy. Me make rules, you shut the fuck up and follow em. Now scrape that shit off while I go get us some McDonalds."
"Yeah, fine."
Murray sat up in his small bed, making it creak slightly. He stretched his massive and hairy arms as he threw his fat legs over the side. His pot belly stopped him from being comfortable sitting, so he immediately stood up. He went to his cracked mirror and gazed at his reflection in mock satisfaction, smoothing the head that SHOULD have hair and flexing the body that SHOULD have muscles. But for some reason, those items weren't there. Was it because of the unhealthy diet, lack of exercise, and excessive amount of alcohol that lead to this? Probably, but Murray liked to blame God for it.
After all, it's not like his it was his fault that his wife left him, or that she remarried, had a son, and started living a good life. All the while he was still at the bottom of society's little totem pole selling crack and mugging people just to get his shitty little trailer in the middle of Hicksville. Then, just to rub salt in the wounds, his wife goes and dies along with her new hubby, leaving the 6 year old kid with him to have a miserable existence for the next four years of his life. Murray overly enjoyed thinking that this was all that big asshole in the sky's fault.
When he had got Tim, he had already gotten out of prison for getting caught dealing to minors, so he had to quit selling altogether, and was desperately trying to find new income. He was lucky enough to find a small job at McDonalds, but that hardly paid the bills for two mouths to feed as opposed to one. Fortunately, it seemed God got tired of being a complete dick to him, as he found four kids hiding out in a trailer, growing and selling pot. Instead of calling the cops or chasing the kids off, Murray saw the future where he could market off these kids' success... with blackmail!
Ever since he made the deal with the little bastards to have them keep the house, he had stopped worrying too badly about his well being... and Tim's well being too, of course.
Today was the day where he got the money from them. $250 for their rent, and an extra $300 for the service of allowing them to continue to live there. Admittedly, Murray felt a small bit of guilt every once in a while for exploiting these kids' hard work so much... but the fact that he had a roof over his head and food whenever he wanted always helped heal the damage caused by said guilt.
He got out a torn up old red shirt and black jacket that looked to be a size too small. He put on some sweat pants over his boxers and slipped on some worn moccasins. He walked outside after cuffing the ten year old on the back of the head, telling him to say inside and not make an attempt to cook anything else. Murray got into his dingy red station wagon and turned the key.
...
He turned the key again.
...
Third time's a charm?
...
Ok, so the car wants to be a piece of crap today. Yay. Looks like Murray would be dropping a few pounds to get to McDonalds instead. And so, he set off walking.
(10 minutes later)
Murray was starting to breath heavily as he walked home with his McDonalds. He couldn't wait to sit down at his house and eat his food. As he continued his walk, he observed his surroundings with a slight interest. The trailer park was about three blocks of different pieces of crap trailers, nothing special or great or anything. Just mediocrity living as far as the eye could see.
"Can't wait to get the fuck outa this dump." he said to nobody in particular. He continued his walk until he walked past a familiar trailer. King's. It was about that time of the month, where they needed to pay rent. Since he was in the neighborhood, he might as well get his money. Then again, he was hungry... hell, he'll just eat their house. It's not like there was anything waiting for him at home.
So he walked over to their house, a smile widening as he thought of this as basically a slightly bigger pay day. He stepped gleefully up to the door and knocked a few times, before going to open the door. Only to find, to his irritation, that is was locked.
"Hey King, why the hell's the door locked?" he yelled. Despite thought of money gracing his shallow mind, he still wasn't in a good mood due to his lack-luster morning. He waited for a few seconds, and put his ear to the door to see if he could hear any footsteps coming to le him in. He did hear a thump come from a ways away, most likely in the kitchen area, and then some hushed talking. Eventually, he heard some heavy footsteps walk close, but not the unlatching of certain locks he was hoping for. He huffed and crossed his arms, backing away from the door and scowling at it, maybe with some false hope that his expression would somehow make it open.
"What do you want, Murray?"
Murray's head snapped to his left so he could see who addressed him, and he was a bit disappointed to see it was Winslow. Now, Murray knew that he wasn't too popular with the four boys, but he could at least talk with King and Kevin, or drink with Danny Boy, but he and Winslow were on less great terms. The "the sooner you die, the better" terms, as he liked to think of it.
"Just came to get my money, sunshine."
"Isn't this transaction usually a Sunday thing?"
"What day is it today?"
Winslow looked pretty dumbfounded by the question. Murray didn't blame him, but his McDonalds job made his week work screwy in his head, and he could never really tell what day it was unless he asked or looked on his computer.
"It's Friday." Winslow deadpanned.
"Well, then I'm not extremely early. So, can I come in? I just bought a breakfast and I'd like to eat it somewhere where random people don't casually stroll by and look at me in disgust."
"If you come inside you'll have people sit down and occasionally glance at you in disgust."
"Ha ha. You know, if your parents loved you enough to keep you, you probably coulda grew up to be a comedian."
"Really, that was going to be your low blow? You've lost your touch. Listen, I'll go get the money, ok. I'm sure you have things to do, places to be."
"Not whatsoever. May I please come in?"
Murray was being unusually persistent today, for two reasons. Murray always took great pride and enjoyment in tormenting those who annoyed him, and Winslow was the king of the long list of people who annoyed him. The second reason was his curiosity about why they were so anxious to let him in was killing him. Usually, even if it was unscheduled, his appearance at their house was usually received without trouble.
"Well-"
"I may need a bit more money, you know how rent is nowadays."
"Seems like everybody likes to play that card."
"Well of course everyone does. Not playing it would be like... not shooting Hitler if you were both in the same room."
"Wow. That... that's the dumbest analogy I think I'm ever going to hear outside of reality television, thank you for that Murray."
Winslow knocked on the door five times, waiting for a response. The door creaked open slightly, and Kevin's blue mask popped out. 'Damn, for being a nice kid he sure has a fucked up sense of fashion.' Murray thought.
Kevin opened the door some more and let the duo in, Murray immediately observing the small trailer, looking for anything out of the ordinary. The weed room was shut as usual, nothing weird coming from there, the kitchen was empty, and the other two acted pretty normal... Danny Boy was complaining about the lack of wine, and King was just sorta standing around doing nothing. 'Perfectly normal.' he thought.
"Nice shirt King."
For some odd reason, though, this got a negative sigh from James.
Discord
Discord was happy. He was riding a pink, cotton candy cloud that rained chocolate milk over the small buildings below him. Discord was very happy. Below him, he heard the screams and yelling of the ponies that ran and hid beneath him. At first he wondered why they made such a big deal about the delicious precipitation, but then he remembered that the rain helped bring up some... interesting plant life. Discord was extremely overjoyed. The course in which he headed was towards the royal palace, the house of his remaining enemy, Celestia. Possibly, his truest victory was about to take place. Discord was in every way beaming with sheer joy!
He parked his cloud outside the walls and snapped his talon, disappearing off of his previous mode of transportation and reappearing inside Celestia's throne room. When he got inside the room, he noticed Celestia staring blankly at the door. He pondered over what doth made thy princess stare for not but a brief second, before going back to his original plan and script he had come up with on the way there.
"Yo sunbutt, whazzup?"
...
Discord waited for some sort of reaction to come from the grand alicorn, but he received nothing. He tilted his head in confusion, before going on again.
"It is I, the great, powerful, and handsome God of CHAOS! DISCORD!"
He summoned lightning to strike behind him, and the sound of thunder rumbled after the mention of his name. Again, this got an expressionless gaze, not even directed towards him! Discord floated over to Celestia, waving a paw in front of her face.
"Uh, hello? Anypony home? Testing, testing, uno dos tres."
It was then that he noticed that the tip of Celestia's horn was giving off a weird glow.
"Uh, hell-"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Where once the God was, he was no longer, replaced by a giant hole in the wall the shape of a draconequus with it's arms outstretched in every direction. Discord himself was flying through the air at remarkable speeds, putting his talon to his hoof and crossing his legs, pondering why Celestia was so mad at just his appearance. Usually, she just gave the perturbed glance followed by the occasional threat. Not even when he accidently came while she was in the shower was she this upset.
He landed thousands of miles away, with the resulting sound following this being crack! Discord looked around himself. In his confusion, he forgot that he could've just floated safely to the ground or something, and he was lucky that he didn't get hurt after the crash.
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow!"
Discord looked down and finally noticed the pony he had landed on.
"Huh, wonder why it made a crack noise..."
A/N: So, who's ready for a long chapter... cuz that's my excuse for the extremely late update. That, and rewriting the entire chapter after not saving it when it was at about 4000 words, forcing me to try and remember what I wrote.
________
?
"Hm... well that's odd... there are new people... oh hey, those guys came back... oh, it's that guy. Well then that's no... wait a minute... OH MY ME!"
BANG!
_______Luna
As Luna held her eyes closed, she listened to her captors conversing. She faked unconsciousness so that she could hopefully get some information out of these beings, though the shock of her sudden body transformation did almost turn the act into reality. What was going on? What was she? Why did these beings bring them here?
Luna kept her breathing controlled and kept her ears open to the conversations between the four beasts. Two of them were untying the bodies, while the other two taller ones were in another room. She couldn't get much from the conversation being had from the two that remained though. Through squinted eyes, she could see them dragging away the other six through a door that led to a non-lit room.
"Jesus, these kids are pretty fucked up lookin." the shorter one said, stretching its back after pulling on the one with the green mane. 'Most likely Spike.' Luna observed.
"What do you mean?" the one without eyes questioned, while dragging the one with a purple mane with a strand of pink.
"Well, look how different they are. We got a hickish lookin one, a model lookin one, one of them girls that looks like somethin that'd make it into a Japanese harem show, an some clown hair bitch."
The eyeless one stopped dragging Twilight, gazing over at the short one.
"That's a very... unique observation. I'm surprised you didn't find derogatory terms for the other two."
"I calls em as I sees em. Let's hurry up with this dragging shit, I wanna ask King when we can get rid of these fuckers."
"I wonder how they even got here..."
Luna's brows raised slightly, her mouth lowering a little on her face. 'So, they had nothing to do with how I got here?' Then again, Luna did remember they asked her how she and her supposed group had gotten to where they were. Luna reprimanded herself for not remembering that, though not too much as she still was in an odd situation, giving her a bit of an excuse.
"As long as they get the fuck out soon, I don't care if they're fuckin Martians. Let's drag the old hag to the room and ask King how long til we say bye bye to the bodies."
"Yeah, I guess."
Luna, despite not comprehending most of what the short one said, understood enough to know that it desperately wanted her and her companions gone, despite the fact that they had done nothing to them. Then again, they probably did pose as nothing but a nuisance to these beasts.
'At least, for the most part, they speak the same language as we do,' she thought.
She heard one of the two beasts walk by her head, and also felt her tiara go askew after being stepped on. Though she could not see what happened, judging by the loud thud, the beast must have tripped on it.
"Aw fuck! What the fuck did I step on, a fucking razor! Fucking shit! What the hell! Aw damn, Kevin! Go get me some cloth or shit, I'm gettin blood all over the fucking floor."
'Maybe the language had a bit of a variation...' she observed as they started dragging her into another room. She didn't know whether to feel mirth or pity for the wound of the being, but from the way it constantly spoke, it didn't seem as through it cared for her or her company, so she leaned towards mirth.
She felt her being get dragged across a soft floor to the area which housed her unconscious companions, who still appeared to be in a deep slumber. The door slammed shut, and the shuffle of footsteps became slightly fainter as the two beasts moved to where she assumed the other two were. She cautiously raised her head, only for most of her blue hair to block her vision. She slowly brushed part of it away before stopping to view her new appendage. In place of her hoof was some weird, skin covered claw. It partially reminded her of Discord's or Spike's appendages that could grab things. She moved her fingers in grabbing motions, making fists out of her hands and then moving each finger.
Luna felt the need to observe the rest of her new form, but she overheard a noise from beyond the room. It sounded like a door with bad hinges was being slowly opened and closed. Luna moved closer to the door, finding it very hard to walk on four limbs with these new appendages. She recalled how the beasts, as well as Spike, walked and attempted to do so herself. This new way of walking ended about as one might expect.
Thud!
Luna landed on the floor with only a small thud to be heard, as she had landed on two of her companions.
"My sincerest apologies Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack."
Deciding it was better to stay on all fours for now, she crawled over her acquaintances, making sure no sound emulated from the slightly creaking floorboards. She inched her way towards the door, placing her right ear softly against the cheap wood. She could already hear two of the four familiar voices conversing with one that was foreign to her.
"So, how's the business been boys?" The voice sounded of a older male.
"Not particularly well, man. Just got mugged today by those asses in the alleyways. Small's gang again."
"Man, why do you keep taking those alleyways? You know just about all of em got some sorta thugs just waitin for ya." The slightly annoyed tone in this new voice made Luna suspect that these "muggings" were a common occurrence.
"King doesn't have a choice. Either he goes into the alleyways and risks getting mugged, or he goes the longer ways and possibly gets picked up by a patrolman." The short one's voice stated in a semi-annoyed tone.
"Yeah, cuz King's gonna get caught by the pigs for runnin around with a backpack."
"It's true I have a slimmer chance being pulled over by the police." this "King" spoke in a calm manner. "But if I were to ever get picked up by them, it'd be game over for all of us. I mean, I can take beating like a man, so the gangs aren't anything we can't handle. They stay in their little spots, we're good. But if we were to get picked up by the cops, then we'd get arrested. Most likely we'd be sent to orphanages or juvy."
"Man fuck that shit!" the voice of the brash short one yelled out.
"Hey Kev, you got Murray's money yet?" The King's voice shouted.
The sound of the fourth being nearing the door made Luna crawl back to her comrades. She laid her body down next to Twilight's and stayed perfectly still as the creature turned the knob and entered. It quickly shut the door and started making its way over to a silver case. It opened it and removed some sort of green colored paper. It turned to exit when, in mid stride towards the door, it halted. Due to her position, Luna couldn't see anything from her mostly closed eyes except for its hind hooves, or whatever its appendages were called.
The beast stayed in that spot for what felt like an hour before continuing its path to the other room, where its partners waited. As soon as the door closed, she was back up on all fours and crawling towards it. Before she even got into her eavesdropping position, she could hear the new voice scream something she didn't understand.
"AW CRAP!"
After that, the vibrations from the floor and what sounded like a fleeing buffalo led Luna to assume that the new beast departed with haste. She was also able to pick up something about a hungry child from one of them before-
Swish! THUD!
Luna couldn't think of a day in her life where she fell flat on her face as numerously as that day. Thankfully her head was spared from the hard wooden floor... by one of the beast's shoes.
"May I ask you to not think yourself clever when you fake unconsciousness?" The one with glasses spoke in an emotionless tone, though she could easily hear the mockery in the words.
"Wouldst thou mind helping me up?" she replied, trying to keep a dignified tone. The creature complied and offered an appendage to her. She put hers to it, and let the alien animal pull her up. She tried her best balancing on her hind hooves, the task proving easier than what it would be in her old body due to the weird, elongated limbs replacing her hooves. She wobbled a bit, and ended up leaning a little on the wall. Now that she was standing, she realized she was actually nearly a foot taller than the individual who had previously been towering over her.
"May I also inquire of you your name, ma'am?" The tallest one asked her. She identified its voice as the voice of the "King".
"My name is Luna. From where I hail, I am royalty." She stated in a matter of fact tone. Before either of the two could reply, the brash one reared it ugly head into the conversation.
"Get the fuck out." That beast in particular was getting on Luna's nerves, and she felt no pity for it when the one wearing glasses whacked the back of his head.
"My sincerest apologies for my friend's harsh words," the king rubbed his forehead with his claw-like limb. "My name is James King, most just call me King."
The others introduced themselves as well, including the creature with the unnerving face.
"Name's Daniel, they call me Danny boy, nice to meet ya Looney." The brash one received another swift cuff to the head. The one who dealt that blow revealed his name to be Winslow. The fourth one was named Kevin. Upon further inspection, she saw that he was clearly wearing a mask. She felt rather silly for not realizing that fact sooner.
"So, miss Luna, where exactly do you come from?" King asked calmly.
"I am from the land known as Equestria." she replied.
"My sincerest apologies for not knowing where on the globe that would be. If you could kindly, would you please tell me what continent or country it is located in?"
King James's calm tone sounded suspiciously... patronizing. She didn't focus on that too much, however, as she realized that there was something wrong. Equestria was a vast landscape. It was the most well known and arguably most powerful country in all the world.
And yet, this king knew nothing about it? How was that even possible? Luna decided to play it safe and try to play it off until she could learn more about... wherever it is she was.
"Oh, Equestria is a rather small land." she spoke in a casual tone. "There's a grand variety of wildlife, stunning landscapes, a great city resting near a mountain as the glorious capital."
"Hm, seems like a very interesting place indeed. Sounds European, is it not?" The scrawny one wearing glasses asked in an expressionless tone.
'Just go with it.'
"Indeed it is." She replied.
Rap rap rap.
The faint knocking interrupted the conversation. The king asked the masked one, Kevin, to go answer the door, and the other three quickly focused back on Luna. She noticed they seemed to be forming a semi-circle around her, the vulgar Daniel on her left, the emotionless Winslow on her right, and the king in front of her. All three seemingly analyzing every detail about her. It made Luna a bit uncomfortable, but she didn't choose to show it.
The door opened and closed, with Kevin stepping outside. The king closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose.
"Look," he started. "I'd like to believe your story-"
The obnoxious one intervened. "But it's complete bullshit."
Luna expected King to react harshly towards the outburst, but instead he nodded in agreement.
"Listen... ma'am, you either really need to tell us what your business here really is, or you'll need to drag your friends' bodies out now. I don't have the time to house complete strangers with an absurd amount of money and no identities that make sense."
"What pray tell, does not make sense about what I told you?"
Daniel spouted yet another interruption. "You said you were royalty from a country that don't even exist. Not to mention you're talkin like a fruit-"
The door swung open.
Kevin had closed the door behind him as his three roommates interrogated the mysterious woman. He turned his attention towards the newest arrival, who was a bit of a strange sight indeed. And given what he had seen previous to it, that was quite the statement.
"Hiya, how are you?" asked a pink haired teenage girl with giant blue eyes and a great smile that seemed to cover the entire bottom half of her face. She wore a button up light blue blouse with flower designs on it, as well as a long pink skirt going down to her knees, where her feet rested upon flip flop sandals. Her face adorned a great, goofy smile and wide, innocent, light blue eyes that seemed to reflect light in the noon summer day. Kevin didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out already that whoever she was, she was somehow related to the bizarre situation.
"I'm fine. Can I ask what you're doing here?"
"Oh, yeah. Silly me. My friends are in there."
Mhm, figured.
"Oh, well alright. Just so we're clear, we're talking about five teenage girls, a teenage guy, and an adult woman?"
"Yup. Glad to see your species refers to them as girls and guys, too!"
"Huh?"
"Yeah," the girl exclaimed. "I mean the last thing I walked up to looked at me all weird when I mentioned I was a pony, which is weird, because, I mean, who hasn't seen a pony? Right?"
"... Huh?"
"So then," the girl continued, unfazed by Kevin's lack of understanding. "I got a pinkie sense that something good was around here, and since the only thing that could be really super duper good right now would be to see my friends after they got suckedupbyavoidIfiguredthey'dbehereandIguesstheyare! Heywhatkindaspeciesareyouwhat'sawomanyouhavereallycooleyesarethoseeveneyes-"
Kevin zoned out after the girl started talking at 88 miles per hour, her mouth a blur of pink, black, and white. His face was as motionless as his mask as he stood there, dumbfounded by the girl in front of him. He snapped out of his momentary paralysis when two pointed fingers jabbed the eye sockets of the mask.
"OW! What was that for!"
"Oh, so it IS a mask."
Kevin stumbled backwards, but then composed himself.
"Did you escape from some sort of asylum?"
"What's an asylum?"
'Toking tonight,' Kevin thought to himself. 'Definitely going to need a joint or twelve tonight.'
"Alright, so you're here for the people that were passed out on the street, then?"
"What are people?"
"Ok, now you're just screwing with me."
"I dunno how to screw people. I don't think I'm doing that."
"Look, why don't I just show you the people. I'm sure you know them."
"Why didn't you think of doing that sooner?"
Kevin put his hand under his mask to rub his forehead in frustration, and decided to open the door. All while thinking of images that clashed with his pacifism.
_____________Discord
As Discord was flying back to Canterlot, he pondered how to interact with the clearly perturbed princess.
"Alright let's see. I could zap in front of Celestia, but she might end up losing her temper at lil' ol' me again. I have no idea why she's so violent today. What could I have possibly done?"
"Still in so much pain!"
Discord looked down to see he still had the pony stuck to his foot. Its back sure had a weird way of folding. He snapped his talons, and a giant, levitating pair of tweezers plucked the stallion off and dropped him. He landed somewhere in the depths of the burning buildings.
"Alright, sans that one, I haven't done anything to garner her highness's wra-"
Just then he noticed the screams of the Canterlot folk as they fled from said buildings, all while being hit with torrents of cider rain from cotton candy clouds. He stopped flying to wonder how there could even be fire if liquid was down pouring the country-side.
"Huh... so there are two reasons for her to be mad... Welp, flying was fun, time to hurry things along. I feel like I've been flying for over a year."
Without even bothering to move, the chaos god disappeared and reappeared before a distraught sun goddess. She had her head in some books, looking a lot like a certain purple alicorn. Discord almost thought it was kind of sweet... that is until the face of death peered from above the pages to glare at him. Not so sweet.
"Discord."
Discord flashed on some protective gear, as well as a mattress slumped up against the wall behind him.
"Hello Princess Celestia. How've you been?"
"Where's my sister?"
"Have you noticed the lovely fire- what?"
"Where is my sister Discord?"
Celestia had no emotion in her voice, which was both creeping Discord out, as well as hyping him up to whatever it was she was talking about.
"I don't know. Did you check her bedroom? I recall her not being a morning pony."
A large blast of magic energy hit Discord, as well as a large section of the wall behind him. He appeared barely phased and undamaged, unlike last time. He stepped to his left to inspect the Discord-shaped chunk of wall that stood in a giant circle of air.
"The people who built this castle must not like you very much."
He noticed Celestia's horn was glowing, so he tried to calm her down.
"Tia, Tia... Use your words. Calm yourself."
The princess gave in and took some deep breaths. Her posture relaxed, as well as her facial features. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with a hoof. She opened her eyes to look at her former nemesis.
"Alri-"
She was cut off as a water balloon full of cider hit her square in the face. Discord gave a cheeky grin.
"Today is a B-E-A-UTIFUL day. Well, I'm about done gloating for now. Have fun shooting more holes in your walls. BYE!"
With a loud pop, the god vanished. Celestia bottled in her rage as she calmly walked towards the gaping hole in her room. She looked out to see her burning city, wondering why it wasn't being tamed by the rain. She extended a hoof to identify the liquid being poured down.
"Ah, alcoholic cider. That explains it."
It's been over a year. OVER A YEAR PEOPLE! But I've done it. I've finally shoved this piece of crap out into your waiting screens. SHOWER ME WITH PRAISE! Or cider. Either way, yay me for updating. If we're lucky, the next chapter will come out before I actually hit drinking age.
Author's Note
(Insert "I'm back bitches" meme here)
Seven bodies, a briefcase, and cookies?
Emerald City, 7:15 AM
James King was running like hell. Why? Because he knew that if he was late, he wouldn't get paid. He needed this income. Otherwise, how else was he supposed to get the money to pay the landlord, and support six hungry people?
James King was a boy who had dropped out of school after his parents found they didn't have enough money, due to a burglar coming one night and robbing them blind. That had led to an argument between his parents about something with putting money in a bank, which led to an argument after that, which led to an argument the next day, which led to a long series of harsh arguments, which led to a divorce. James, at the age of fifteen, with the thought of not taking part in any of this crazy bullshit any longer, decided that the best thing to do was to try to make it on his own.
James had hoped he could get by on his good looks, (six-foot two, slight six-pack, medium blonde hair that when flipped correctly made him look like a prick, what girl wouldn't want to take him in?) and charm (despite being near-terrible in book smarts, he did have damn good street smarts... whenever his mouth wasn't running). That great thought process lead to a little while without food, showers, or a home. After the first two weeks, he found an old trailer house for sale, and was able to get one of his older friends to pay the money for him, but he still had to make his own money. And the most logical conclusion...
At the age of seventeen, James was doing a... less than ideal job. Selling what he called 'the best damn Mary Jane this part o' Emerald City'. Not to say he was proud of what he did, but hell, it put bread on the table. Hell, it also gave him the damn table to put the bread on, as well as a roof over that table, walls surrounding it, and basically everything else he owned. It also helped pay for his... associates, who also lived with him.
He himself never smoked the substance, as he thought that if he started, he might end up wasting his only revenue just to get high. 'Then my life would turn into one of those don't do drugs PSAs.' he thought. He sometimes had problems with one of his roommates getting into the stuff, but that rarely happened. As he got closer to the house, he slowed down from a dead sprint to a quick jog, and rang the doorbell. He caught his breath while he waited. Looking around, he noticed that it was a pretty nice neighborhood. Much different from the ghettos he was currently residing in.
The door opened to reveal a man who looked to be in his late 30's. Tall, Caucasian, slight beard, noticeable bald spot, pretty chubby, tired eyes and a big ol' mole near his nose. All in all, kinda an ugly bastard. From the high pitched screaming inside, he could tell it was a stressed out father, and from the look of happiness on his face when he saw the 'parcel' James was carrying, he could tell he just made this guy's day a helluva lot better.
"That'll be fifty bucks, my good man."
Wordlessly, the man gave the money and snatched the bag from James's hand. James smirked.
"Tis a pleasure doin business with ya, sir. I hope we can do business la-"
SLAM!
"Quite... ow."
James's nose did hurt quite a bit after that. 'He must not have it too bad, that was a strong damn door.' he thought to himself with a scowl on his face. He started walking back to his home, and also started viewing his surroundings. Green grass, nice houses, the usual suburbs. He compared it to where he was now. The trailer park was... well, craptacular. The ground was covered with cigarette butts, beers bottles, and the occasional dead weasel or rat. It was nice to be in an environment where you felt you could sit on the ground without having to give yourself anti-bacterial stuff.
James decided to take a shortcut through an old alleyway. This alleyway was in between two huge stores that were a part of a long line of management buildings and walmarts, bigger fancier houses, and McDonalds and the like. They basically served as the border of Emerald City and Emerald Shitty. The metaphorical tracks that had the right and wrong side, if you will.
As he walked through the alleyway, his eyes scanned the area in a paranoid fashion, darting left and right. He walked cautiously, going so far as to make sure each step was silent. He had taken this shortcut about six times before, and two of those times had not ended well. There was a small gang of about three guys and a girl that claimed that this was 'their turf'. James has chuckled when he heard this, and made he unfortunate mistake of claiming that this being their home made his residence not look too bad. That instance had gotten him a nice little scar jutting from the bottom left of his lip to halfway to the chin.
He was almost to the end of the narrow pass when he felt a sudden pressure around his neck. He could tell by how hairy the arm was that it was one of the members of the gang.
"Whata we got ere, eh?"
"Oh f*ck me."
"Nah, 'm good."
James was then shoved to a nearby wall, where he fell to arms and knees and looked up at his attackers. They were the original four, plus a new girl. There was a big, tough looking guy with a large black moustache, another, smaller guy with a smaller moustache, a bald guy with no moustache that was carrying a golf bag filled with blunt objects. The first girl had multiple piercings all over her face and blue highlights in her hair. The new girl had red highlights, and carried a stern expression as she wielded her own huge knife.
James coughed a bit and went to stand, only to have Spalding knock him down with a sledge hammer. He then sneered at James as he spoke through an odd high pitched voice.
"Sit your five dollar ass down before I make change!"
"Y'know, I know that's from a movie somewhere, (cough), but just because it was cool there doesn't mean it's cool now."
Again, this probably wasn't the brightest thing for him to say, as he got another whack to the back. James wisely decided to stay quiet as the red haired girl was told to search his pockets... well, he wasn't too wise for long.
"So, what am I gonna call you?"
"Hm?" The girl asked, sounding disinterested.
"I mean, I got nicknames for the others. There's Captain Pornstache over there, Psycho Spalding, Smalls, and Blue Bitch, or BB for short."
The rest of the group sent little annoyed glares at James, while the red haired girl just raised her eyebrows. "If you're going to all the trouble to come up with insults for people who hurt you, then shouldn't you try a little better besides Smalls and Blue Bitch?"
"They're not insults, they're pet names. Nick names. Believe me, I do nothing to offend."
The girl got the money and also took out the knife as well.
"Small man has a tiny knife I guess." Captain Pornstache sneered.
"Remind me to laugh later at that joke. So, am I all good, or do you want the shirt off my back as well?"
"Sounds great."
"Of course." James really needed to learn how to shut the hell up.
James finally got to his front door, bruised, mugged, and shirtless. He picked the key from inside his left shoe (thankfully a place the girl had not checked), and opened the door. After doing so, the first thing he heard was a loud SMASH! coming from the was followed by some yelling, as two voices, both male, were arguing.
"Damnit! Not the wine!"
"Smooth move, ex lax."
"Ah shut up. Listen, I'll get the glass fragments, you try to mop up the wine."
"Fine."
"Man, I hope we can talk King into buyin us more wine. I aint gonna be able to function right if we don't got anythin."
The next thing that was heard was a cough. "You two may not have heard it due to your own idiotic actions, but I do believe I heard the door open." And then all was silent. James sighed, and closed the door behind him. The way the trailer was set up, was like this: you enter through the front or back door into the main room, which held a small sofa, a recliner, and a small bookshelf. From the front door moving left was the kitchen. It was pretty small, cramming together a fridge, washer and dryer, sink, and counter space with small drawers. That left enough open floor space for about six people to stand.
To the right was the workroom/bedroom of James and James's close friend, Winslow McGregor. Winslow and James had met about two days after James had gotten his new abode, and Winslow had been fourteen years old at the time. Winslow was a very scrawny, somewhat short kid, which meant he wasn't exactly the world's best hand to hand fighter. He had short, spiked black hair, and extremely pale skin. He also had the unnatural ability to talk more than anybody, ever. He also was one of the best damn handgun shooters, ever. He also had a weak lung, due to a pack of cigarettes always in his pocket, along with a lighter. Now at the age of sixteen, Winslow was basically James's Consiglieri. He talked to Winslow about everything, and the kid always seemed to have the answer. He also always had a holster for a double action revolver.
The two morons in the kitchen were Kevin and Danny. They had arrived about six months prior to today, one of them being 12, and the other being 13. Danny, the 12 year old, was pretty tall, and well built. He had a small six pack built up, and had a buzzcut, showing barely visible brown hair. He was also a mild alcoholic. Most people said that this claim is false, as he doesn't drink beer or whiskey. Well, there's still plenty of alcohal in wine. Danny considered it to be the classy version of beer, that and it didn't taste God awful. He also usually carried a baseball bat wherever he went. He was overly protective of his brother, Kevin, and barely ever thought it was a good idea to let him leave the house. Danny was usually calm, except when he didn't have his sauce, in which case he was, in Winslow's words, 'a batshit, pathetic, little unnatural disaster.'
Kevin was hard to describe. His appearance was very tall, almost as tall as James despite the age difference. He had long, white hair, and he usually let it fall down in a messy fashion. The most interesting thing about him though was that he always wore a mask. This mask was a plane blue, plastic Eyeless Jack mask. He usually was the one to make a smart comeback at any of the other three, and was probably the least flawed out of them all. He kept a guitar below one of the couches in the main room, and would usually play it when nobody else was around. Almost all the time he wore a grey hoodie, and black jeans. His job around the house was growing the pot that James delivered. And by doing so, he thought it was only fair that he should always sample before selling.
Today, James had close to no patience. He waited expectantly for the two idiots to come out, and that they did, after about five minutes. Danny came in, making sure to avoid eye contact. Kevin, meanwhile, had his mask facing directly towards James, possibly confident that there was no punishment coming to him.
"So?"
Danny looked up, and then looked down a little, again.
"Maybe, uh, dropped the wine..."
"Uh huh. So, there goes the wine for this two weeks."
"Well, I was wonderin if maybe you'd-"
"Like hell."
"Aw come on King. How the hell am I supposed tah function right if I don't got wine?"
"Easy, you fuckin shut the hell up about it and maybe try to be sober for more than two fuckin hours."
At this point Winslow came in the room as well. He had the usual bags under his eyes and messy black hair. He was rubbing his forehead as a barely noticeable groan came from his throat.
"Hey Dan, how about this. You can go an buy another casket if you like."
Winslow handed Danny ten bucks, but before Danny could take the money away, James snatched his hand.
"Now Danny Boy, when you come back I want half that dough back, and you can keep the casket. If you aint got five buck by the times you get back, Ima smash the damn bottle over your thick skull an make you lick up the sauce and glass, got it?"
'Danny Boy' seemed to get the message, as he knew that whenever James made a threat, he almost always kept it. He violently shook his head up and down and ran out of the house with the money. Kevin stopped him, and offered to go instead.
"Nah, it's alright Kev man, I got it."
"It's alright Danny Boy, if I let you go, you might drop it again. 'Sides, it's just a block or two away. See ya guys."
"You'd still better have that five dollars, it doesn't look like King's in a good mood today!" Winslow called after him.
Danny watched his brother leave, and decided to sprawl out on the couch.
Winslow looked over at James.
"King?"
"Hm?"
Winslow motioned towards James's bare chest.
"Oh yeah. Smalls and his guys got me in an alleyway. Mother fucks took the cash, the left overs in my pocket, my fucking knife, the knife my fucking father gave me when I was a kid, and to add insult to injury they take the shirt off my fucking back. Mother fuckers."
"Damnit King, are we going to go get it back?"
...
James was silent for a little while as he contemplated what to do.
"Well, Win, we can't just go over and ask. What are four teenagers gonna do to five adults?"
Winslow pulled a gun out of his holster.
"We ask nicely."
"Nah, shootin em up would garner too much attention from the cops."
"Not if we dispose of them proper like."
Danny stretched on the couch, deciding to throw in his two cents.
"Here's how it looks, gents. We got five individuals who are taking our income, and the way it looks, this may soon become a regular thing. If we don't do anything, we lose money, we lose house, we lose food, we lose life. We do something, we have a risk of getting thrown in prison after police come and look over things. That's a risk, mind you, not fact. Also if take em out, we don't have to worry about them going after us, and the punishment isn't as bad. Think about it, jail over death."
"Unless we're put on death row." James replied.
"But still-"
"And now here's my thought. We get back-up jobs." said Winslow.
"But King's already got enough on his hands."
"I didn't mean that King gets another job."
...
"Fuck, you know I hate that fuckin word. Job."
"Ok, here's the real options," King said slowly, "gettin a job, goin to jail, or death."
"Fuck, jail still sounds nicer."
"And you sound awfully dumb by saying that." Winslow pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation.
"Man fuck you."
"Ok," James interrupted, "both you shut the hell up. As soon as Kevin gets back, we're gonna discuss what to do."
knock knock knock
The three boys looked at the door, confused.
"Is he really already back?"
"I hope he made it back alright... with the wine, too."
"He better have five bucks with him."
James opened the door, expecting either their friend or a girl scout selling cookies. Something he wasn't expecting was Kevin, along with six unconscious teenagers, and one unconscious adult.
Out of the teenagers, there were five 16 year old girls, and a boy that looked either 15 or 16. Two girls had purple hair, one with a white button up shirt and black shirt, and black heels. The other had a purple t-shirt and white jeans. One girl was blonde with a cowboy hat, blue jeans, orange button up shirt, and boots. One had pink hair, with a yellow sweater and a green skirt. One had multi colored hair, wearing a sleeveless blue shirt and matching blue shorts. The boy was wearing a light purple shirt with a darker purple jacket on top of it, and green shorts. The adult was a woman who looked to be in her early thirties, and she had long, blue hair with some sort of weird hat on. She had a long blue dress (which looked as though it had met a sugar high kid with glitter) and blue heels. Easily, this was one of the weirdest sights the four had seen in the neighborhood.
All three of them looked up, looking confused, (rightfully so, might I add).
"Yeah, uh, I found them in the middle of the street. How did you not seem em, King?"
"I didn't think there was anything when I walked by."
"Well, I also found this with em."
Kevin pulled out a suitcase he had hid behind his back, and opened it to reveal hundreds of bundles of hundred dollar bills. The four were silent, until...
"Uh..."
Kevin turned around and James looked out to see a girl scout selling cookies.
"Wanna buy some cookies?"
Author's Note
I'd just like to thank everyone for reading my last chapter. Thanks for reading this one as well. Have a pleasant day.