Sweets And A Dash Of Rainbow.

I jostled my hair, humming loudly as I stepped out of the steamy bathroom. "And I didn't think you cared!" I sang, kicking my leg out and tossing my towel into a basket next to the bathroom door. Bon Bon's house was spacious, well maintained and neat. The change was far beyond refreshing, like stepping from a Newark teardown to a New york Highrise.

"Hey, Bon Bon, where you at!?" I shouted, adjusting myself in my boxers and walking around the house. "Hello? Lyra, Bon Bon? Anyone?" I continued to look around, no response from either pony. I wandered around, slipping into the hall and walking towards my new room. Bon Bon and Lyra had helped me move in and settle in record time. My stuff was sorted away, Lyra was slowly occupying the guest room, and the cardboard boxes that held my life were cut up and saved away for winter kindling.

Everything was great, save a small note on the door of my bedroom. Gone shopping, be back soon. Which on its own wasn't too terrifying, but coupled with a few hearts and a small sticky note under it, It's Hearts and Hooves day! -Lyra, made it truly scary. "Oh shit...." I mumbled, thinking back to my first days here, right before the titular day.

I ran like mad through the house, grabbing clothes and racing back to the bathroom. My life became a blur as I tried to juggle six things at once. Shoes went on, then pants, then a toothbrush. My undershirt went on over my overshirt and my wallet exploded into cards and coins. "God damn it!" I shouted, stuffing my cards back into my wallet and switching my shirts. "Stop screwing me, it's not the time!" I shouted, stuffing the wallet into my pocket and pulling my pantlegs out of my boots. "Don't start!"

I hobbled outside, slamming the door shut and locking the door. I nearly ripped the keys out of the door, turning around my hat as I bolted through the crowded streets. Ponies were out in force, the usual mix of other species tagging along or rushing like mad like me. I bounced off a pony, flying down towards the market. I had no idea what to get, but I knew Bon Bon was generally girly aside from her strong appearance. She had a soft core, I just had no idea how to crack into it.

I skidded to a halt outside of a small shop, Bon Bon's. "What the hell?" I asked, spotting Lyra scurrying around like mad inside, fending off a horde of ponies, a few humans, and a pair of griffons. I slithered into the shop, squeezing against the displays and cutting into the line and over the counter. I stayed back, leaving Lyra batting away ponies and hastily throwing candy into bags. "Hey...Lyra, you--"

"Oooooh dear Celestia no!" She yelped, wrapping up a bag and tossing it over the counter. "Somepony wanted that!"

I grabbed Lyra, pulling her back a step. "Whoa there...you alright?"

Lyra looked around like mad, finally focusing on me. "Ryan! Oh thank pony shit!" She yelped, pawing at my sleeves. "Too many bad dates! Too many everything!"

"Too much," I corrected, setting her down, "So...you want--"

"Save me!" She shouted, stomping her forelegs. "Also...why are you here?"

I scratched my head and stood up. "I was gonna pick something up for Bon Bon, but...she's out, why are you here?"

Lyra took a deep breath. "I'm single...I mean, obviously, nopony--"

"Lyra, focus."

"Right...right, sorry." She scraped at the floor with her hoof. "Uh...Bon Bon and you are together...I said I'd run the shop so you two could hang out. But I didn't expect this!"

I looked out at the sea of people. "I got a deal." I ducked down, pulling Lyra's hat off and fitting it roughly to my own head. "Pick something for Bon Bon, and I'll run the store for a while. Deal?"

Lyra teared up slightly. "Thank you...." She wrapped herself around me, nearly sending me tumbling. "I'm gonna borrow your wallet...okay?"

"I-" I felt my wallet pull slowly from my front pocket. "...How did you know I kept it in my front pocket?"

Lyra smiled wide and started backing towards the way out. "Because you're paranoid."

I watched Lyra melt into the crowd, leaving me to fend of the rabid people in the shop. "I lived in Jersey...it's not paranoia if it's something to really be worried about." I straightened my shirt, facing the angry crowd. "Geez. Line up, single file!" I shouted, causing the ears of each pony to perk up. "Have your bits ready, special requests will be set aside until things calm down!" I shouted, jamming my palm against the bell on the counter. "Next!"

Three ponies jammed into the counter, "I said single fucking file!" I screamed, slamming the counter and causing the ponies to back off. "One at a time!" Two ponies sheepishly tried to jockey for position. "I swear to god I will go full bitchfest on your asses!" I screamed, the veins in my neck surging with hot blood. "You, go!" I screamed, pointing a blue pegasus to the back of the line. "You!" I swung my hand to the mare, grabbing a small bag from her and setting in on a scale. "...Four bits!"

The pony before me set three bits down, "...I didn't--"

I glared hard at the pony, pressing the button on the register and pulling the bits into it. I maintained my overboard glare and slowly handed the bag over. "Next time...get here early...." I hissed, plopping the candy down in his hooves and ringing my bell. "Next...."

The pony with the bag looked broken, sheepishly slinking away and out of the shop. I didn't like cutting him a break, but my glare would either scare him off for good or remind him to be prepared next time, and that was worth a bit. The next customer came up, and with the jostle of coins was served and sent. I never understood why people had such hard times dealing with customers, then again it came rather naturally to me.

I had time to reflect on my days back in Jersey. Fuck was thrown around more often than these ponies flicked their tails, asshole was a common greeting, and you just get so desensitized around it all talking is so meaningless. But here, these ponies had such range, from the scared ponies I tossed candy at, to the ones I had to fight and argue with, but I could yell, I could shout back, and in the end I guess that's what made it easy.

No pony could shoot me down, no pony could argue louder, and when it came to processing candy and taking money, I was a king. I ran the shop like a machine, pumping out gifts and treats to ponies in need. Late presents, couples picking stuff, all species and all genders flooded in, cashed out and left happy. I must have looked stupid, dressed up in a tee shirt and a pink hat, doling out candy. But no one said a thing, they said thank you and left.

Couple after couple walked out happy, stock was high, sales were high, and I was in my natural habitat. I was helping people, I was managing a store, and beyond the crowd I spotted something I loved, coming towards me. "Hey Ryan." A sharp, darting voice cut my thoughts in half. Rainbow Dash popped up, tossing a bag of candy onto the counter.

I snapped down, grabbing the bag and shifting it towards the scale. "Oh...hi, what's up?" I asked, carefully skirting around our relationship. "How's your day?"

Dash smiled wide, brushing her chest off with her hoof. "Pretty good! Got a date later, with a Wonderbolt. No big deal."

I smiled and counted out a few bits she'd thrown on the counter. "That's good. Glad you could--"

"I know, I'm pretty awesome, don't have to make a big deal about it." She preened, her smug closed eye'd smile wrapping around her cheeks. "So, how've you been?"

I shrugged, looking around the now cleared out shop. "Uh...good, didn't expect to be working today, but it's all good."

Rainbow Dash looked around, nervously snapping her head left and right. "Yeah, I had the day off. Uh...listen, I just wanted to pick this up and say...thanks."

I tapped my fingers on the counter. "It wasn't a big--"

"It's a big deal for a pegasus. But...moving on is a big deal for a pony." She grabbed the candy with her teeth and flung it into her saddle bag. "I know...I should have--"

"Is now really the time?" I asked, my face a bit scrunched up. "I mean...we can be friends...we can talk about this, but I've really got stuff to do."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Like what?"

I stared at her, leaning onto the counter and letting my chin rest against my wrist. "Getting laid...with my Girlfriend...."

Dash locked up, letting out a rough cough before straightening out. "Well my point is, thanks."

I nodded. "Rainbow Dash...you don't talk to a lot of guys, do you?"

Dash stared at me, "...Do you mean, stallions, or guys--"

"Men, males, penis owning individuals."

Rainbow Dash shifted left and right, her hooves scraping against the ground. "No, but why--"

"You should talk with some." I took off the hat and set it on the counter. "I mean...sex is like way different for ponies and humans...and different races moreso, but even genders will have a different idea about it." I raised my butt up, sitting on the counter and pulling my legs over. "I was brought up like a- ...uh...I don't want to say misogynistic, but loose, with the sexual morals."

Rainbow Dash spread her wings, giving them a quick flap before tucking them away. "Yeah, so?"

"So, maybe you were raised different. Maybe pegasai mate for life, maybe others don't, but I've seen ponies with Unicorns, and I can tell you for a fact- wait...where were you from again?"

"Cloudsdale...."

I scratched my chin, "Uh...might even just be that. I'm not about to theorize on your sexuality...uh...anymore than I already am." I admitted, growing a bit flushed. "Seems like--"

"It's not a huge deal...or...I'm trying to not let it be." She clarified, flicking her hoof off the floor. "But who am I supposed to talk to about it? I can't tell...my friends...it's embarrassing."

"You talked to Fluttershy."

Rainbow Dash bit her tongue and took a lap around the freshly pillaged jars and displays. "Yeah, but she's not gonna tell anypony. And you...you just don't get what it's like. I feel safe around you, and I know I shouldn't, but I--"

"You shouldn't?" I asked, walking over to the door, running my hand over the glass frame. "Rainbow Dash, I said I'm not going to screw you...no matter how much someone needs to--"

"Hey!"

"Bitch...are you saying you don't need to get dicked?" I shouted, knowing not much else would get through to her. "Honestly...you need to get laid, like...a lot more than you do, which I'm going to assume is none."

Dash grew a bit flustered. "It's not what we're--"

"Who's we?" I held the door open for her. "Rainbow Dash, who are you?"

She cocked her head and stared at me. "I'm Rainbow Dash...best flyer in Equestria."

"Then who is we?" I walked her out, shutting the door behind me and locking up. "You keep talking about we, maybe you should think less about we, and more about you. Now, these weird ass conversations need to stop...you keep saying you've moved on, yet I keep finding you hanging around me."

Rainbow Dash grew a bit pink, pacing around me for a second before stopping cold. "So what, I can't--"

"Why don't we talk about dicks, or...the beach, or vagina, just not yours. I mean honestly, I talked with your friends, they told me about the--"

"Don't!" She yelped, thrusting a hoof out. "...Rarity, wasn't it?"

"Oh who else?" I cracked my knuckles and looked to the sky, "Now go, have your date, and get screwed until your legs go numb. Then, come to me, and we can talk about...sharks--"

"I hate sharks...." She stated, her wings fluttering softly.

"Then we can talk about how much you hate- holy shit...." I cut myself off, spotting Bon Bon in the distance, "No!" I screamed, tensing up and bristling like a rabid dog. "Bon Bon what the fuck!?"

Rainbow Dash spun around, spotting my horror. "Oh...." Bon Bon was nuzzling some stallion, the stallion whispering into her ear and nipping her. The stallion was laughing softly, guiding Bon Bon down the path towards a seedier part of Ponyville. I felt my heart shatter, my knees buckle, sending me to the ground. "Ryan...you--"

"No I'm not fucking alright!" I screamed, turning to Dash.

Rainbow Dash jumped back, "Uh...so, I should go--"

"Not now! Later- after I'm in prison!" I screamed, getting to my feet and getting ready to run. "I'm gonna fuckin--"

Rainbow Dash wrapped around my leg, "Easy!" She pulled my legs together, acting like a bolo. "Ryan, stop!"

I tried to hobble after Bon Bon, watching as she fluttered away, off with that other stallion. "No! This is bullshit--"

"Stop!" Dash shouted, holding my legs tight. "You need to calm down!"

I let out a strange howl, rolling over and trying to crawl. "No damn it!"

"Ryan, act like an adult!" Dash screamed, scrambling upright and standing on my back. "Stop it!"

My voice fell to a whimper. "How is this fair!?"

"It's not, but you need to calm--"

"Fuuuuuck- ass!"

"Fine!" Dash slammed her flank down on my spine, "We can just sit here then!"

I lowered my head, huffing into the dirt. "God damn it...." I took a deep breath and kept facing the ground. "...Thanks Dash...but someone is going to die after this...."

"Well not right now. We can't talk about stuff if you're in the dungeon."

"...Fucking sharks...am I right?" I murmured, my voice shaky, "Fucking drink your blood...break your heart...just like that."

"That's why I don't like sharks."

I reached back, grabbing Dash's foreleg. "Thank god you're dumb...."