I walked with Lyra through the town, bags hanging off her sides and a special one hanging off her horn. "What did you get her?" I asked, trying to peak into her bags. "And...how much was it?"

Lyra lowered her head, letting me peak into the bag. "I kept it under two-hundred."

I laughed nervously. "Heh...heh, that' a lot of money...." I took the bag off her horn and started looking into it. "...Oh, clothes...that's wh-- what the hell is this?" I pulled out a small plastic case, a brand new electric toothbrush sitting inside. "...Why?"

Lyra levitated the package away, "Well it's not for your teeth!" She chirped, ripping the packaging open and pointing the bristled end towards the sky. "This side is for hooves, which if you don't know, Bon Bon has the most ticklish hooves. I mean, they say Earth ponies aren't sensitive cause they're heavy hooved, but she used to date this unicorn and she was so loud!"

I stared into the bag, looking at the clothes to distract from Lyra. "Sure...I- wait...you bought a toothbrush as a toy?"

Lyra flipped the toothbrush around, flicking it on and causing it to buzz. "Well...hoof tickling and, well, I think you can figure this end out." She popped her eyebrows as she thrust the vibrating handle at me. "Eh...eeeeh?"

"Lyra...seriously?" I asked, putting the bag back on her horn. "That's just...I mean, I'm lewd, but that's vulgar."

Lyra ran the brush end of the device up and down her horn. "Hardly, I mean, I did buy two."

"With my money?"

Lyra took a hard turn onto Bon Bon's street. "I'll pay you back! I promise. But these things make great hoof and horn polishers!"

I stooped as we reached Bon Bon's. "...Doesn't that- isn't that a sex thing for unicorns?" I asked, pointing at her horn.

Lyra pursed her lips and shoved them to the side. "Hmmm, normally, but when I stuck it in that light socket I lost about all feeling." She flicked it off and dropped it into the bag. "Worth the mind reading though, like, way awesome!"

I shook my head, stepping up the porch and trying to open the door. "Who else knows- who else knows- what the hell?" I asked, unable to open the door. "Why would she lock it?" I started digging into my pockets, finding the small brass key and throwing the door open. "Well that's rude--"

"Oh- oh no...." Lyra mumbled, darting inside and over to a painting on the wall. "Tssss, yeah...she's in heat."

I walked over to her, kicking the door shut and looking at the painting. "...How can you tell?" I asked, taking the upside down painting off the wall and flipping it right side up. "And who--"

Lyra bopped me with her hoof, quickly pointing towards the living room. "Bon Bon gets weird in heat. Most ponies just get a little horny or emotion, Bon Bon puts everything upside down." She trotted over to a small Coffee table and pointing to an overturned candle in a jar. "See...this isn't normal, this is weird Bon Bon stuff."

I turned the candle upright. A quick look around saw everything that could be upside down was in fact, upside down. "Wow...the chairs...tissue box, pills. Does she do this often?"

"Once a season. I guess she's having a late one for summer, or an early fall." Lyra clarified, walking around and righting everything. "I don't know why I'm bothering, she's just gonna get all grumbly and do it all again."

I scratched my head, staring at Lyra as she levitated her bags down. "Well, what do we do then?"

Lyra stared at me, golden eyes burning through my head. "...I...." She slowly levitated a bag into view, "Am gonna go play dress up. You...." She levitated the toothbrush out and flicked it on. She hovered it over to me, letting it fall into my hands. "Are gonna go...fight for your penis, and your life."

I felt my hand raise up, Lyra lifting my arm up and forcing the buzzing toothbrush into my hand. "Lyra...what the fuck?" I asked in earnest. Lyra shook her head and started pushing me with her forelegs. "Lyra...what the hell?"

Lyra kept pushing me through the room. "Just- oh look," She stopped and turned towards where we unloaded my things. "Wow, that's neat."

I looked over to my boxes. Each one was emptied out, all of my possessions were neatly sorted by size, all flipped upside down and some of the smaller items were stacked. "...Wow, I- like this is impressive, and she didn't break anything, but seeing my life laid out like this bugs me."

Lyra levitated up a picture frame. "Aww...it's New York...can I have this?" She asked, slowly sneaking a family picture towards her bags. "I'm gonna take this."

I kept staring at my things, pencils, books, cards, everything I'd ever collected was upside down and sorted in rows. "Why you want a picture of New York?"

Lyra finished tucking the picture away and started looking through my things. "I went to New York the first week I was on Earth. It was like Manehattan, except more crowded." She smiled wide and pointed to the hall, "I'll tell you about when I got hit by a car later. But you should probably go make sure Bon Bon doesn't jam her hoof into herself."

I stood in horror at Lyra's implications. "Has she actually done that?"

Lyra nodded, leading me towards the hall. The rustic home rather boringly beige. "I had to take her to the hospital, she had a blanket over her and everything."

I found myself standing before a rather noisy door, soft whimpers and clattering crying out from behind the wooden door. "...I'm a pretty mare...I'm a pretty mare!" Bon Bon screamed from her side of the door, causing me to jump back a step.

I looked down at the toothbrush in my hand. "...Ryan...this is where you either become a hero, or die trying." I placed my hand on the knob, yanking the door open and dashing inside. I closed the door in a flash, taking quick stock of the upturned room. In the back of the room sat a long bed pressed sideways against the wall, a closet built into the wall without any doors was already pillaged and clothes hung upside down from the rod. "Jesus...." My scan continued, finding just about everything that could be upside down, not only upside down, but stacked. Bon Bon sat on her bed, laying across it and stacking books spine up, one atop the other, forming a tower four high with ease.

Bon Bon stopped with a single short huff. "...Ryan...there any reason you're just standing there?"

I stuffed the toothbrush in my pocket. "Uh...Bon Bon, you feeling alright?" I asked, traversing the stacks and piles of delicately upturned parcels. "Everything okay?"

Bon Bon snapped her head to me, cocking it to ninety degrees extremely slowly. "...I'm great! Absolutly great! I'm in heat, you're off hanging out with Lyra, spending time with Rainbow Dash, off running around the town having fun while I'm just sitting here!" She whipped her head around, back to her stackings. "No go make out with Lyra or whatever you were doing!"

I stared at Bon Bon with a mix of fear and concern. "Uh...so you're not alright." I made my way to the bed and plopped down next to her. "...You wanna talk--"

"Don't touch me!" She yelped, whirling her head around and bearing her dull teeth. "Just don't touch me you dick!" She spun her body around, jabbing me with her right foreleg. "I ask you to move in, you wait a month to say yes! I ask you out, you say later! I ask if you want to date, you give a tentative yes! Things finally get on track, you go and talk with Lyra for the entire day! Then when you come back you just start questioning me and I just...I just...I- fucking fucks!"

I slowly moved my arms around her, keeping them off but slowly surrounding her. "I'm gonna just...do this...." I slowly tightened my grip, still not touching her.

"Ryan, I'm gonna bite you! Ryan, stop!" She glared at me, face contorted in pure rage. "Ryan!"

"I'm gonna...do...it." I made contact with my fingertips along her back and in a flash I felt Bon Bon's hooves wrap around my side, "Whoa there--"

She let out a horrid scream, burying her face in my gut and groaning loudly. "I just want to be fun too! Why's Lyra get to have all the fun!? I just- I'm a pretty mare, I deserve nice things!"

I pulled Bon Bon against my chest, cradling her against me and scooting towards the wall and propping myself up along her bed. "What? Bon Bon I offered to bring you--"

"Shut up! You love Lyra don't you!" She yelped, digging her hooves into my side. "You slut!"

I pulled Bon Bon's rump onto my lap. "What the hell? Like seriously, what the hell, girl?" I put my hand on her cheek and pulled the side of her head against my chest. "You my baby girl...ain't nothin' gonna change that." I cooed in my rather idiotic way. "...That could have come out better.... Point is, I'm not about to ditch you for anyone else. Bon Bon you kept me employed, you let me stay with you when I couldn't make it home, you talk to me daily, I mean...I'd have to be a real fucker to cheat on you, and I'd like to pretend I'm not the kind of person that would do that."

Bon Bon tightened her grip. "...You're not gonna bang Lyra?"

"...Uh...I'm not into what she's slinging, which is one-hundred percent crazy." I mumbled, lowering my head and touching the tip of my nose to her mane. "...You smell like vanilla and chocolate...."

Bon Bon tightened herself up on my lap. "...Ryan...are you gonna stay the night this time?"

I swallowed hard. "Uh- I uh.... Gonna leave this here." I turned on the toothbrush and set it on the bed. "Gonna go--"

"...Ryan...you're not leaving." She stated, pulling me tight against her withers. "Please stay...you stayed for Rainbow Dash."

"...And I've had nothing good come of that!" I shot back, running my fingertips along her side. "...Seriously, another--"

"Ryan...I like you, I wouldn't have kept you working with me if I didn't. And maybe you're not the smartest, or the most charming, but you're honest, you work hard, and I really need someone to hold me right now, okay!?"

I was locked in place, the toothbrush had rolled against my knee and was slowly growing irritating. "...Okay, so...how's this gonna--"

"Take that thing...put it between my legs...and just hold it...okay?" Bon Bon asked, leaning against my head. "...Unbelievable...couldn't be a pony...."

I grumbled hazily as I grabbed the toothbrush. "I'm sure you could have found some pony to--"

"It would have been an Apple...and I'm really- I just don't like them alright. Apple family is way too workaholic for me."

"But you just complained that I'm not a pony!" I shot back, maneuvering my hand into place above her groin.

"...We could probably change that...I mean...if you want, I'd appreciate it--"

"You serious right now?" I asked, pushing her back a step.

Bon Bon lowered her head and pressed her crown against the underside of my chin. "Yeah...but only if you want.... I mean, you're nice now...but you'd be pretty awesome if you were a pony...."

I couldn't help but feel a little off put by her suggestion. "...So by that logic I should ask you to turn human, right?"

"...Okay...but you have to be a pony for me." She mumbled, nuzzling my chin. "...I don't know if I mean any of this...I'm really...really.... Can you just do it already?"

"No, no let's talk about this!" I snapped, lifting the toothbrush from her hooves. "So if I go pony, you'll go human?"

"...Maybe."

I let out a short chuckle. "Well...that's.... There's an idea for an interesting date...but uh--" I was cut off as Bon Bon pressed her hoof into my hand and force it down between her legs. The buzzing toothbrush cried a strange muffled bzzt, quickly followed up by a soft moan from Bon Bon.

"...Ryan...I'm serious...just help me here." Bon Bon commanded, gyrating her hips and buzzing herself wit the base of the toothbrush. "Help."

I took a deep breath and forced the brush against her, prodding around until the noise grew low and Bon Bon grew louder. I continued to lay my chin on Bon Bon's head, running my hands up and down her soft coated back and staring out at the corner of the ceiling. "Well...this is certainly my life...I think."

Bon Bon hugged me tight, going still as the sound grew more and more muffled, her hips pressing up against my own. "Ryan...just shut up...." Things grew quiet again, only the occasional buzz or coo to liven up the heated room. "...Why did you never take me out?"

I drew a small circle with the brush, shifting my gaze to the ceiling. "Because we were always working."

"...You just had to ask, I would have cancelled everything."

I wrapped my arm around Bon Bon's head. "Sweet.... But someone's gotta make the money."

"We're both making the money now...right?" She asked, lifting her head up and meeting me eye to eye. "...This is a thing...right?"

I stared into Bon Bon's eyes, the soft blue eating away at my gut ,the smeared navy and pink lipstick disheveled and no longer sharp or clean. "Jesus Christ you're beautiful." I muttered, leaning my head down and giving her a soft peck on the lips. "I don't think I ever told you that...."

Bon Bon dove her head forward, slamming crown first into my gut. "You'd better start...and...no more Rainbow Dash, okay?"

I took a deep breath, continuing to draw along her body. "You know, she thought I loved her. But I just- should I feel guilty?"

"Should I feel guilty about you? Should I feel guilty about being with a human? Should you feel guilty about being with a mare? Should I feel guilty about every stallion I dated, every girl you dated?"

"I guess not. Hopefully this won't be like most of the girls I dated...."

Bon Bon let out a warm groan as I hit a sweet spot, "Ummhm.... It's gonna be...probably, either way you still owe me that dinner."

I let out a soft chuckle. "How about we go out for a drink instead, little more my speed--"

"Fuck your speed. Wine, red, Lyra can cook I think...." She nuzzled my chest, her hooves still wrapped around my back. "...Dear Celestia we're cheap."

"Cheap...I just spent two-hundred bits on make up presents. Now this stupid three buck peice of crap is getting me laid.... Fucking bullshit." I laughed, rubbing myself against her backside through my jeans. "So..are we--"

"No...dinner first, then maybe. I told you, you're gonna have to earn it...this is just...a- tease- mmmhmphmmmmmm." Bon Bon curled up, squeezing herself against my hand and shaking ever so softly. "Ahh, there we go...."

I lifted the toothbrush up, flicking it off and finding the bottom end a little sticky. "Well...that was, new."

Bon Bon laid against me, "Oh dear Celestia it feels good to lay on somepony...."

I tossed the toothbrush off the bed and laid back on the bed, letting Bon Bon sleep across my body. "Yeah...can't complain either...except I'm getting scraped to death by my zipper."

"Suck it up, you're supposed to be Mr. Tough Guy." Bon Bon cooed, resting her chin against my shoulder.

"Fine...I'll be Mr. Tough Guy if you be my baby girl...."

"...I don't do pet names."

"...Fair enough. But then I'm not Mr. Tough Guy."

Bon Bon stretched out, pressing her back hooves against my stomach. "Mr. Whimpy...yeah, that sounds better."

I reached for the light, knocking over a stack of crap along the way. "...I need to get guy friends...this constant mare thing is making me soft." I flicked off the lights and leaned back on the pillowy bed. "Seriously though...you're beautiful."

"I know. Sorry you're just finding out."

"And that, that right there, is why I love you." I gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Sarcastic ass, but you're my sarcastic ass."

Author's Note

As always, comment por favor