Sweets And A Dash Of Rainbow.

A loud bang started resonating from the door. "Rainbow Dash?!" I know that drawl, that's the Apple pony.

I tried to open my eyes, the burning sensation quickly proved too overwhelming. I crawled away from the light flooding through the window and tried to get my bearings. Carpet, carpet means floor, floor means building, building is probably hotel.

I felt around until I grabbed onto something, something alive. My eyes shot open, ignoring the pain and slowly clearing my vision. Rainbow Dash was curled up next to me. I looked around blearily until I realized what had happened. We were both on the floor, she looked just about as hungover as me, and the smell of sweat was clinging to both of us. "Oh, god!" I nearly yelled, trying to hold back my disappointment in myself.

I used some nearby furniture to push myself upright and stumble towards the door. I check to make sure I was tucked away and slowly looked out the door. "Hello?"

The Apple shot upright. "Howdy, is Rainbow Dash up?"

I looked back to the crumpled mare in the middle of the room. "Not...ugh-" my head started throbbing as I leaned into the door. "She's not up yet...did you need her for something?"

The mare at the door tried to peek in. "We're supposed ta be leaving in a few hours."

"Ah, I see...I'll get her there."

The Apple pony gave me a nervous look before starting down the hall. "Well alright partner."

"Alright!" I closed the door. "Shit...that was awkward as fuck." I didn't actually even remember her name, and I probably reeked of alcohol.

I looked around the room a final time. Dash had never even unpacked, and I just got here last night. All that was left was to vacate.

"Why am I- ugh...on the floor?" Dash picked herself sloppily off the floor and started sniffing her coat. "Oh...no...." she looked around, a few molted feathers sticking to the carpet. "Oh no!"

"Quiet, quiet, quiet!" I leaned into the door and threw my arms around. "Look, stuff happened...we can't change that now. Let's just clean up, get to Ponyville, then we never have to speak with one-another again."

"Y-yeah...I'm gonna go...preen my wings." Dash slowly started sulking off towards the bedroom. I threw myself into the kitchen and found a small bottle of vodka. "Twenty bits for hair of the dog..." I uncapped the tiny bottle and pounded half of it. "Bullshit."

With the horrible taste in my mouth replaced with a different, less horrible, taste I was free to go about my morning. I walked hazily towards the bedroom, tossing the cheap vodka onto the bed. Dash snapped her head around, letting her wings flap once, sending a plume of feathers around the room. "Drink that...you'll feel better."

"Oh...thanks." Dash grabbed the bottle and threw it back.

"Drinking like a champ...I'm gonna go shower, we can tag out and pack up once I'm out."

Dash looked troubled by the stiff wake up. "Sure I-" she started coughing as she let the bottle fall to the floor.

I waited until I was sure she wasn't going to die. I hurried into the shower and ran a cold gauntlet of the freezing shower. As much as I would have loved a warm shower, the risk of making me vomit was way too high.

After copious amounts of soap and a horribly rough towel I started picking up my clothes. I walked, still damp, into the bedroom. "Shower's open." I tossed my old clothes on the bed and started looking for a new outfit.

Dash lingered in the room for a bit before darting off. I ignored it and started getting dressed in something much more familiar. Jeans and a collared shirt was scores more preferable than a shitty over-tight suit.

With that out of the way I started packing up, the feathers, bodily fluids, and other crap wasn't my problem, someone's going to get paid to clean it up anyways.

I finished packing everything away and started pulling the bags into the entry. As I passed the bathroom, steam rolling out from under the doors, Dash was violently hurking in the shower. I felt more than a little bad, if not for me none of this would never have happened.

I contemplated my guilt as I finished up with the bags, stuffing Dash's discarded dress haphazardly into a bag.

I was a bit eager to get back home and get take a nap, but Dash seemed to be trapped in the bathroom. I ran back and flung the door open. She froze in place as I did. "What? Oh don't look at me like that, you don't wear clothes in the first place." all that was truly different about her was her wet mane. It had a rather cute appeal, but thinking of her as cute was going to be rather difficult for the next few hours.

Dash quickly dried herself off and followed me out of the room, leaving me to carry our bags. We hurried into the elevator, the anger growing in me as I remembered crawling up the stairs last night. "So...yeah, I uh...." Dash stammered as she inched closer. She stood next to me the whole way down, keeping it up as we met her friends in the lobby.

Twilight walked over to us. "Rainbow Dash are you okay?"

Dash took a nervous step back. "Yeah! I'm great."

Twilight looked at me, her face hard to read. "Cause you're standing kinda close to him."

"You're standing close to spike!" Dash snapped, angrily pointing a hoof a spike, causing him to jump upright and throw his hands up. The entire room quickly started staring at her. "Whatever." she trotted off beyond me, walking out the doors and off into the unknown.

Twilight looked at me hard before leading the little group after her, spike sticking around me as we walked. "Hey Ryan...."

"Hey Spike...sup?"

Spike gave a quick boyish laugh. "Heavy right?" he hefted his small bag on his back.

"Indeed." I laughed as I balanced the two bags on my back and the one in my hands. Somehow all of Dash's friends, save the yellow one, thought it would be just fine to use me as a pack mule.

Spike did a mock lift and let out a long groan. "Yep, finally going home. Don't get me wrong, Canterlot's alright, but they never let me go to the things!"

"Trust me...that thing, wasn't too much fun. Nice music, but that was just about it."

"I know...Twilight said she liked it so it was probably kinda boring."

"A little. Like I said it was nice, but not my shtick. Lucky me Rainbow's got no patience for that kind of stuff, got to leave right after someone proposed to someone."

Spike stuck his tongue out. I gave a quick laugh as I hurried along towards the head of the group, quickly falling back as the ponies bickering gained volume. "Hey Spike, did something happen last night?"

Spike scratched his chin, moving down to his gut as he walked. "I don't think so. Why did something happen with you?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I quickly veered off to the right and walked alone. The train station quickly came into view and the prospect of napping on the train grew more and more real.

I quickly found my way into a shared train car and put the bags into the overhead. I sat back down and quickly found myself surrounded by ponies again. The yellow one was laying across the chair opposite myself and Dash, staring out the window and watching the mountains rush past.

I joined her in staring out the window. "It's nice isn't it?"

She looked over at me, eyes like dinner plates from my unexpected question. "Um...yes."

Things got quiet as Dash fidgeted in her seat. I gave her a quick glance before looking back out the windows. "So when's winter wrap up in Ponyville?"

Yellow took a quick look at me before looking back out the window. "I think its next-"

"Monday." I swung my head around towards Dash, she was getting slowly closer each time I looked back. "Its next Monday."

"Ooookay...." I turned back to the window, quickly whipping back around and catching Dash scooting closer to me. "Okay, the hell!?"

Dash jumped to the other side of the bench with a flap of her wing. "Nothing!"

Things got quiet as I started staring out the window. "So I don't think I ever got your name-"

"Rainbow Dash, I told you-"

I turned to her, yet again half way towards me. "I was...I was asking her." I limply flung my arm towards the timid yellow mare.

Yellow gave a shy smile and looked back out the window. "Flutteshy."

"Alright then. Fluttershy, you ever-" I was cut off as something touched my back. I jerked towards the window, turning around and finding Dash wrapping a wing around me. "What the fuck!?"

Dash just closed the gap I created and leaned into my side. "Shh...just let me do this."

I grew more and more uncomfortable as Fluttershy and I shared a moment of joint confusion and discomfort. "So...Fluttershy..."

"Yes?"

"Have you ever...been...alright seriously!?" Dash had moved from leaning against me to wrapping her hooves around my stomach.

"Just let me do this!"

I suppressed my rage and ignored the amorous mare wrapped around my waist. "Fluttershy...have you ever hired anyone from Hellas?"

"Oh, yes..." Fluttershy smiled kindly. "She helped me feed the chickens when I was sick."

"Aw how nice," I started leaning down to the near sleeping Dash's ear. "My contract is almost up."

Her ears twitched hard as she shot upright. "I thought-"

"Once we're back to Ponyville my contract ends. I have to be honest, it's been interesting escorting a few nice mares through town but I've gotta get back to actual work."

Dash grumbled as she went back to sleeping against my arm. Fluttershy had started staring at Rainbow Dash as she latched onto my arm. "So you work for Hellas?"

"Yep yep. For a few months. I mean I've worked as a wood cutter, foalsitter, babysitter, and hell...escort."

Fluttershy smiled warmly. "You were a foalsitter?"

I laughed a little as I remembered that week. "I worked for a mare in Vanhoover for a week, they were going for some trip or something. It was fun but catching a baby pegasus in a grand hall was a pain."

Dash gave a soft mumble as she started falling asleep on my lap. Fluttershy went back to staring. "Did something happen to her?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "We got drunk...really drunk."

"Ooooh...that makes sense."

"I guess." I perched my chin on the windowsill and watched the scenery go by.

Little by little the cool air of Canterlot was slowly replaced by a soft warmth. The land changing from rugged stone to steep hills, then finally to a simple grassland as we pulled towards Ponyville.

The train slowly pulled into the station. Fluttershy quickly flew up and pulled her bag out and started leaving the train.

I had a bit more of a troubled time, having to wake up the sleepy headed mare in my lap. "Come on...get up." I pulled at her ear until she stood up. "Trains in station, time to part ways."

I quickly pulled out bags down and let Dash carry her own for once.

I lead her to the end of the platform and said the Hellas spiel. "Thank you for choosing Hellas human solutions, please think of us whenever your needs require a human touch." I handed her a small blue card and started off towards my home.

"Wait!" Dash ran over and started walking next to me. "I uh...you wanna go get something to eat?"

I hurried my pace. "No thanks, I'm good."

Dash quickly added her wings to the equation, catching up with me and matching my pace. "Hey so who do I talk to about your thingy?"

I tried to hurry again, moving just short of sprinting. "Its on the card...."

"But you-"

"Stop following me!" I started sprinting off. Dash quickly, but sloppily, flew behind me.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go get coffee or something!?"

"Go away!" I spotted my building and hopped the fence, rolling in the yard and charging into the house. My landlord quickly running over.

"Ryan, the heck is going on!? Why're you running all over the dang place!?"

"Cranky...stalker...help me!" I grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him, his toupee getting rocked around his head as I did.

"Ryan get off!" he pried himself free and stared angrily as he walked out front. A quick yelling match ensued between him and my pseudo stalker. He charged back in and stared at me. "Bonkers ponies...."

I let out a long sigh as I caught my breath. "Not the word I would use. Thanks man."

"Yeah yeah...now get out of my house."

I gave him a quick salute and walked out his back door, hurrying into my outbuilding. A small mini house with a kitchen nook, bathroom, and loft. I set my bags down and got ready to unwind. I started climbing into the loft, cut off near the top as Mathilda's voice rang out. "Ryan, mail."

"Bugger, bugger, ass, bugger ass!" I jumped down from the loft and walked over to the door. I quickly met the donkey at the door and took the letters. "Thanks...."

"Don't worry your little head about it." she started walking smoothly back to the main house.

I ducked back inside and went through my mail. Crap, crap, crap, Hellas, Hellas, thank you card from Glow Dust, and Hellas.

I threw the crap away and started sorting through the Hellas mail. Three job offers right after this one could either mean Dash had broken the sound barrier and had already requested me again, or my popularity as badass human was growing. Either way I tore the letters open and started looking through them.

Canterlot: Pet shop temp. Nope.

Canterlot: Hoof care specialist. Nope.

PonyVille: Local candy shop worker. "Candy...eh...why the hell not." I signed the application and hurried back to the main house, stuffing the letter in the mailbox and watching as the mail mare tried to untangle herself from a tree. "Uh...Ditzy...you want some help?"

She let her body go limp, her head spinning around the tree, glancing at me between swings. "Oh...hey...Ryan...sure...if you...want to."

I shook my head and started back towards Cranky's shed. "I'll get the ladder."

I found the tool in question and quickly started pulling Ditzy out of the tree. "How does this even happen?" I broke a few twigs and sticks that had gotten caught up in her straps.

Ditzy scrunched up her muzzle. "I was on the ground, then I took off, then I was in a tree."

I shook my head and pulled her free, quickly carrying her down the ladder and setting her on the ground. "Well since you're here." I grabbed the letter out of the box. "Here, take this for me?"

Ditzy looked at the letter. "Sure!" She stuffed it in her bag and gave me a quick hug. "Thanks Ryan."

"Yep, just watch out for trees!" Ditzy nearly slammed into a light post as she waved back at me.

Crisis averted I put the ladder back and hurried into my house. I crawled into the loft and passed out. My dreams a bit troubled as I thought about the way Dash had followed me. I'm sure she'd get over it though.