Grace of a Swan

The sun was rising between two hills making it look like a giant golden loaf being firmly pressed between two giant green asscheeks, and bill was relaxing in his hammock wearing a speedo in an effort to attract a young paperboy.
His arm muscles contracted, forcing his arm to bend lifting his right hand which was holding an 8 ounce can of doctor pepper towards his mouth while he scratched his lice-infested pubic hair with his left hand. He expertly flexed the many muscles in his lips making them pucker around the area in the can where one would use the tab to make a small hole so liquid could be poured in or out. He then lifted the bottom of the can upwards expertly demonstrating newton's laws of gravity to force the cold carbonated drink out from the can into his mouth. His tongue tingled as bubbles formed on his taste buds. The bubbles popped individually allowing the soda's flavor to slowly engulf his tongue. Bill then used the muscles at the back of his throat to send the liquid sliding down his esophagus using his tongue to guide any remaining soda down there as well.

The doctor pepper flowed down his esophagus eventually landing in his stomach causing a chemical reaction which forced gasses to go back up his esophagus and exit his mouth resulting in a loud belch that satisfied bill immensely. He then repeated the aforementioned process until the entirety of the small metal can's contents was in his digestive tract.

After a few hours of being processed by his digestive organs, and sapped of nutrient the doctor pepper was soon reduced to little more than a pool of urial waste gathered in his stone filled bladder. Once the bladder was full, a signal was sent to bill's brain alerting him of the dilemma. He expressed the signal in as eloquent a manner as possible.

"oh holy motherfucking shit I have to take the most enormous piss of my entire god damn mother fucking, sister humping, child raping, eyeball scraping, hammock chilling, milk spilling, wal-mart greeting, rarity eating life!!"

Unfortunately for Bill by the time he finished the ridiculously vulgar sentence the wellspring of urine in his bladder burst forth, flowing through his urinary tract and out of his penishole. Wave after wave of golden pee ejected from his penis and into his speedo. Of course because the speedo was made of rubber it was unable to absorb the torrent of ureal fluids emanating from Bill's most private of parts, and it eventually began to spill out of his speedo and onto the beautiful mahogany porch below. As the wooden porch absorbed the tidal wave of pee it began to turn to a sickly dark color. Eventually Bill's bladder completely emptied until the only traces of his accident were a few golden droplets on his legs, butt, and genitals, and a dark stain on the porch below.

Having finished pissing his pants Bill sighed with relief and turned his head to the right to enter a more relaxing position, only to notice the ten-year old paperboy that had been the occupant of so many of his wet dreams staring gawk-eyed with his mouth wide open. Bill knew that his love had seen the whole ordeal and tried to make the whole situation less awkward by approaching it as delicately as possible.

" Ya know if you like what you saw I can always just piss in your mouth," he said gracefully.

The boy simply ran away screaming leaving his bike behind.

"oh SCORE" said bill as he ran over and humped the bicycle until he ejaculated into the bag of newspapers covering the contents in semen and sperm cells.

Then Pinkie pie hopped by on a pony pogo stick and said "what an awful way to end a chapter."

Oh my god I just wrote a 642 word long description of a man pissing himself and offering to sexually molest a child!!!