Descent

Descent

Hi, I'm Kaizer. Most everybody just calls me "Nazi", you can call me Kaizer.

Wear a black coat and learn German, then everyone calls you a Nazi.

Even with an Ushanka. The most Russian hat possible!

Doesn't help when I look like mustache-less Hitler.

Anyway, I landed in this land filled with magical talking ponies about a month ago. When I arrived, I found that they had some basic technology. This was apparently supplemented by magic. It seemed that only unicorns could use it.

How inefficient.

So, since then, I have taken up residence in a bunker in a hill facing Ponyville, as they call it.

The bunker itself was fairly modern, being made out of reinforced concrete. A MG-42 was mounted on the wide gun port, again, facing Ponyville. There were skeletons wearing what seemed to be World War two clothing. There were two Soviets, a Britainian, two Americans,  and two Germans. They were promptly moved into the closet.

Yeah, I just used that pun.

Anyway, there was a journal on one of the Germans.

Good thing I learned Deutsch.

I'll tell you the contents later, but first, let's answer that pony that has just tripped the sensors I set up.

I grab the machine gun, and take aim. This one is different. It has wings and a horn. It was also purple.

It matters not, it can still be shot. So I pull the trigger, and a wall of lead is sent the pony's way.

Aaaand they just bounce off of a lavender barrier. I've seen this before, but usually the pony looks drained afterword. They are easily

disposed of in this state. But this one just seems to shrug it off.

Fucking magic.

It wasn't that I hate ponies, they just...

I don't know.

Keep up the pressure. Kill it! Kill it now!

Don't Comrade, all things are equal.

NEIN! Kill it! Schnell!

Get. Out. Of. My. Head!

Silence.

Thank goodness. Back to the pony. Who, in a flash of light, just left.

And appeared in my house. I sighed, and walked over to it.

"Well, you've breached my defenses by being completely fucking OP'd!" I spoke, raising in volume towards the end.

"Yes, that's one of the perks of being an alicorn." The "alicorn" said, stroking her wings.

"First of all, why? Secondly, what's your name? And thirdly, how many Alicorns are there?" I asked. I was going to start a wall of fame for making it into the base walls.

"Because I need to ask you some questions. Twilight Sparkle. And, well, hey are extremely rare, I only know of four, counting myself." Twilight responded clinically.

I eyed her suspiciously. These questions must be burning damn hot for her to brave my base. Not that it required any exertion on her part.

Again they're fucking OP'd. They need a nerf Big Game Coder in the sky!

So I responded as thus: "We are awaiting your query."

"Well, wait... did you just say 'we'?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, we thought it would be most enjoyable." I answered, confusing Twilight more.

"Anyway, why are you killing ponies? That is a crime punishable by death." She stated.

"We are not as stable as we may seem." I answered.

You didn't need to tell her that, mate.

Yes, I did.

"Oh. So you're insane?" She asked.

"Or am I the only sane one?" I responded.

"Anyway, your... expertise is needed in Canterlot." Twilight replied warily.

"How will I be arriving?" I queried. Twilight shifted nervously.

"That's the kicker. In captivity." She responded, looking up at me.

"We cannot allow you to do that." I replied.

"I guessed as much." Twilight stated.

I grabbed the knife in my belt, and rushed Twilight. She didn't have time to teleport away. I pinned her, and held her front legs down with

my knees so her face was up. Twilight’s look of shocked fear was perfect.

"Such a pretty face. Shame we have to cut it up." I taunted, cutting along her right cheekbone. Blood seeped out, making her look like she was crying, sort of. Twilight tryed to fire a magical blast at me, however, I hit her horn just before it fired, and the faint glow dispersed.

"Maybe we should start on you horn." I said, making gestures of cutting and sawing said protrusion.

"No! Don't you dare!" She screamed, trying to teleport away. This spell met the fate the other did.

"You're not doing magic while we are still winning." I stated, and Twilight started to sob. I grabbed her horn, and yanked her head back, as she was trying to curl into fetal position. She was probably used to fighting idiots who gave her an obvious weak spot.

I decided to kiss the horn goodbye for her, and she shuddered as I did so.

Odd. I decided to stroke it, and the shuddering continued, this time, a moan passed her lips.

Ha! I can so totally use this.

I kept stroking her horn, eliciting a very pleasured response from the alicorn. I then proceded to  cut along the left cheekbone for symmetry’s sake. She moaned even louder.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I whispered into her ear. The answer I got was surprising.

“Yes.” She whispered back. I immediately got up and dusted myself off.

I felt like taking a shower, but I still had the lavender alicorn to deal with.

“We will attend.” I stated, and Twilight stood up. She ruffled her wings, and walked out the door.

“I’ll send guards over to take you.” She called from a distance outside the door.

What the hell did I just go through? I’ll just go ge the bleach. I want to forget what I just did.

I mean, shooting them is fine, but cutting them. That’s just cruel.

After a very… thorough shower, I headed off to bed. I set the base into lockdown mode, which is basically me locking the front door. But

before I could reach the sleeping quarters, I saw a flash of light next to the MG. So, naturally, I walked over to it and picked it up. It was that German’s journal.

“Might as well read it, could give insight to situation.” I muttered to myself as I walked off to my bed.