Zane's Zaney Adventures in Ponyville

Where to Settle?

Where were we? Oh yes, following Pinkie into Ponyville. We had been having a conversation, but it wasn’t really important. At least, not in that you need to know about it. All you really need to know, is that the conversation turned eventually to my plans on house placement.

Pinkie wanted me to stay with her, because, “There’s nopony happier in Ponyville than me!” I didn’t want to stay with her for a few reasons, mostly reasons I couldn’t share with her. My interactions with others tend to lean away from pissing them off. I thought about it, and realized that, as a Pegasus, I could technically room everywhere in Ponyville. I knew Rainbow Dash was pretty chill, as far as ponies go. I try not to rank them anymore as they’ve become not only real, but friends in my life, but at the time I had more of an inclination towards Applejack. Even so, I knew that she woke early, worked hard, and worked long. I didn’t want to be a burden.

We had stopped walking as I thought on and on about who to room with; no on Fluttershy, due to animal magnetism. Even though I liked them, trusted them, sometimes even befriended them, I didn’t want to room with a good 50 or so of them. N-o on Rarity, because I did NOT dig the drama. Well, we know who that means, “I’ll room with Twilight. You know, as long as she’s alright with it.”

Pinkie looked a tad hurt, but bounced back. She’s pretty quick at bouncing back, very expressive with her realization gasps. I can tell you don’t understand what I mean by that sentence: it means that she gasped, and it was loud. It was the kind of gasp that filled her like a balloon; “Oh my gosh, that’s PERFECT! You’re a writer, and she’s the librarian! Why didn’t I think of that?” She practically dragged me to Twilight’s house. Keep in mind, it was practically the middle of the night, I was still a little bit drained from the Portal Sickness, and everypony else was asleep. Pinkie is one hundred percent, one hundred percent of the time.

Anyway, we stopped at Twilight’s house. As a person-or pony- might expect, she wasn’t pleased to be woken in the middle of the night. The door opened with a glow of purple magic, followed by an open door and a tired, purple muzzle staring out at us. If Twilight was surprised, she didn’t look it. “Is the sky falling?”

“Weeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll”

“Don’t answer that Pinkie. Who’s with you?”

“My name is-” I tried, before Pinkie interrupted.

“His name is Thunder Chaser! Can he stay with you a while?”

Twilight looked at me, and I felt that I needed to speak, “Princess Sparkle, I would very much so be pleased if you would allow me a room, at least for tonight. Before certain pink mares drive me into the ground.”

Twilight seemed to understand, and opened the door further for me, “Alright. We can figure out the details in the morning.” She stopped Pinkie from coming in, gently telling her to go home. I could tell the Element of Laughter was reluctant to leave me, but she trailed home. As Twilight closed, I sighed and collapsed on the ground. I couldn’t walk another step if a hellhound decided it was my day to go.

I heard something that was a cross between a snort and a chuckle, “Oh boy, that’s a pretty big case of portal sickness. What’d she do, drag you through an atomic reconfiguration?”

That was how I learned the term.

“Can we just… stop talking for a bit? When the world stops spinning, that’s when we can talk.”

“You should drink something. Here, some water.” I took the water and felt a little better. I realized, at least, sleeping in the middle of the floor wasn’t a great plan. I shakily reached my hooves as Twilight went through some pre-made house guest checklist. It took her the fastest ten minutes, or fifteen seconds, I’ve ever lived through. She lead me carefully to a bed to rest in, and left me to my sleep. I was grateful, because sleep was the one thing on my mind.

My dreams were strange; my stepmom was yelling at me for some wrongdoing, and Pinkie jumped out of my phone. It scared my stepmom into dripping backwards and disappearing through a shimmer in the wall. Then Pinkie hugged me, and started shaking me like a ragdoll. I changed into a pony, and she dragged me through my phone. But then we ended up back in World War II, trying to guide some intelligence agent out of hostile territory. Except it was the Agent’s birthday, so we were going to trick him into going to his own birthday party, because now it was 6 months later. Long story short, my sleep was not restful.

I guess it’s time to go flush the drugs they’re pushing at me down the toilet. If you’ll excuse me.