The Courage of feelings

I just laid in bed for a couple of minutes to think about what just happened. I just wanted to stay at home for the entire day because I was afraid my dream might come true. Now that I had that dream it now feels like it would be a lot harder to tell Charisma everything.

The more I thought about the dream, the more worried I became that it might come true. But I knew that Synth wouldn't really kiss her, well hopefully. Besides, she already likes somepony else so why would she try to go for Charisma.

I tried to recall the last few words of my dream about what Charisma said but I just couldn't remember. She said that I should be mad but I couldn't make out what she said after that because it was a blur.

My mom was calling from downstairs to get ready for school and I just answered a quick 5 minutes. This is usually how I start the day, yelling at my mom to make me some breakfast while I fall asleep again and that’s what just happened. I noticed I was starting to doze off and immediately sat upright with my eyes open.

I didn't want to have another nightmare like that so I decided to actually get ready for school.

First I got out of bed, usually the hardest part for me. Then I went to the bathroom to freshen up and brush my teeth. I decided since it was Hearts and hooves day I should look nice.

I found the brush on the floor and doused it in water, and then I brushed my mane carefully trying to make it as styled as possible. I tried for a variety of hair styles but just ended up keeping the old one. I continued to brush my mane more to get it shiny and normal. I looked at the bathroom walls, which were tiled all around which made it look kind of weird. After I was done I set the brush down and rushed out of the bathroom. I didn't really have much time since school would start at 7:30.

I took a quick glance at the clock, 7:00. Ok I still have time, I thought. I rushed down stairs and greeted my mom who made a delicious blueberry pancake with the syrup oozing down making my mouth water. I immediately started digging in savoring every bite. My mom didn't always make pancakes, but when she does they are always delicious.

“Hey Flicker.” My mom said. “Isn't today Hearts and hooves day?”

“Yes!” I said with a mouthful of pancakes in my mouth.

“Why are you so excited?” My mom asked anxiously. “Do you have a special somepony?” When she said that I could feel myself blushing, and she probably noticed to, which was a dead giveaway that said “Of course I have a special somepony!”

“N…N…No!” I yelled at my mom making me embarrassed, blushing more furiously. But she probably knew because she gave me a grin like she knew something was up.

“Come on Flicker!” My mom said. “You can trust me!”

I started to back away and go up the stairs to get my saddle bags and school stuff, finishing the last bites of the pancake.

“L…listen mom, I’ll tell you everything after school. K?” I said rushing off upstairs hoping to avoid any more embarrassing conversations from my mom.

I went upstairs in my room as I ran to the closet. I had to also have nice clothes so I had to choose carefully, though it kind of wasn't that hard because I didn't really have much nice dresses.

I looked carefully examining each one wondering which one could fit the perfect occasion. I looked through a line of clothes seeing tons of dresses but it didn't really fit the occasion.

Some dresses were either to bright or too plain and I found it hard to make a decision and I thought of just buying a brand new dress.

But after a long moment of looking I decided to pick a shiny blue dress that had a pattern of white stripes all around. It wouldn't be the first choice but, it was okay. I also picked a matching pair of shiny blue boots that had a white striped pattern going around it.

As I was fitting on the dress my mind wondered other thing like, I wonder what Charisma was going to where? Or what will she think of my dress?

I was clumsily putting on the dress now as I was thinking about Charisma and at the same moment all I heard was a RIPPPP. I was horrified as I looked down at my half torn dress, what would I wear now? I was panicking as lots of thoughts came into my mind. I rushed downstairs to my mom who was now serving herself to some blueberry pancakes, probably mine.

“Mom!” I cried. “I ripped my dress!!!” When she looked up all she saw was me in tears and a dress that was torn in half and her smile instantly faded. She rushed towards me grabbing the dress from me examining it.

“How did this happen honey?” She questioned.

“Well…. When I was putting it on, I wasn't paying attention… and it… ripped.” I said staring at the ripped dress.

“Flicker, you have to be careful! This was very expensive; luckily I know a pony who could fix it.” She immediately rushed towards door then stopped and faced me.

“Why don’t you visit your friend while I get back?” She said smiling. “You still have time before school starts!” Then she left to get my dress fixed. Hopefully she could fix it, I thought. Well of course she could fix it! She’s like the best mom ever!

I went outside as I looked at the crowded city of Manehattan. There were ponies everywhere trying to get to place to place. There was building and houses everywhere that if I tried to count them I probably would lose count. I walked a few blocks trying to dodge busy ponies trying to get to my friends house.  After a lot of dodging ponies and getting yelled at, I finally arrived at my friend’s house; it was turquoise and had beautiful glass windows on the front.

I approached the house and knocked on the door with my hooves. I waited a few seconds and was met with a pink unicorn with a black and sky blue mane.

“Hey, Mila!” I said as Mila invited me inside to her house. The inside was in total chaos and was messy like somepony threw a party.

There was ripped paper and broken furniture on the floor.

“Sorry for the mess, I just had a fight with my parents. Though that doesn't matter… just tell me why you’re here?” Mila said casually.

Really, it doesn't matter? If it had to do with family then it was important. I wanted to ask her what happened but I knew I shouldn't because it probably was something personal.

We both continued to walk through the messy house until we reached a white door that had a piece of paper, though Mila snatched it out of my sight right when I noticed it.

Before I entered her room I took a good look around and realized something…. Her parents were gone. It probably had to do with the fight, I thought. Though why would they leave there kid alone with no food or anything, the thought made me angry. But before I could rush over to her parents and give them a stare down, Mila, grabbed my hoof and pulled me into her room saying “Hurry up!”

I looked in her room and I was just amazed. I've known her for a while and didn't know her artistic ability was that GOOD.  I looked at the walls and noticed all the abstract art and colors mixed together that made it blend well. There was a painting of her cutie mark, which was a heart within a book. I think her cutie mark should be a paint brush, because she’s so good!

”Whoa this is awesome!” I finally said still admiring the art.

“Thanks!” She said blushing. “Anyways… what did you want to tell me?” She said and I could still see her holding the paper in her hooves, but she probably knew I saw it because she hid it behind her back.

“Well I don’t know how to start this…” I said trailing of unsure if I should actually tell her. Mila just stared at me confused trying to figure out what I was going to say.

“Do you have any dating advice?” I blurted out finally.

All I could see was Mila blushing with an expression that said wow; I’m so surprised you asked ME.

She just started at me for a few seconds and then realized what I just said.

“W…what… me?” She replied confused.

“Yes you! Now do you have any advice… because there’s this… mare I like…?” I said struggling to get the last part out, because what would she think if I liked mares. But she was totally fine with it and just said

“Oh…” like she was disappointed. Does she… Nahhhh, I thought.

“Well...how do I even talk to her?” I continued. “I barely even know anything about her and I like her.” I said sitting down on one of the chairs.

“I think what you should do is… well get to know her first then maybe, try to be her… mare friend.” She said not meeting my eyes and looking at the floor. Today she seemed to be acting different and not casual like just the days where we would talk and have fun. Today it felt, awkward and it never felt awkward when I visited her

“Plus, since it’s hearts and hooves day today how am I gonna tell her everything?” For the next few seconds we just sat there in silence as Mila waited thinking what to say.

Don’t get me wrong, she is good at advice but today she seemed so off edge like something really bad was bothering her.

But then I thought back to when I arrived and I almost forgot about Mila and the fight with her parents. That might be the reason she was acting different.  I decided that I should go easy on her and try not to pressure her to much. I heard a voice speak up and then I realized that Mila was talking.

“You could always just give her a thoughtful gift and just find a time in school and tell her.”

“Yeah… I guess.” I said. “But, what if she says no? I’m not ready for that.” I said realizing what I was saying. Come on Flicker, stop being afraid! It’s not that hard, just go talk to her and then walk away it’s that simple. Though it sounded easy in my mind it seemed harder to actually go and do it. I quickly glanced at the clock, 7:15 I had to hurry up so I could get my dress and look good for Charisma.

“Listen Flicker, it doesn't matter if she says no. It matters that you tell her how you feel because well… if you don’t you will never know and somepony well end up taking her away from you and you’ll lose your only chance.” Mila said with her voice soft and her front hoof around my neck.

I just sat there like an idiot staring into Mila’s eyes thinking of a response but in just a second I felt a warm sensation. My mind was fully awake and felt my heart pounding hard. I don’t think I ever had this feeling except when I was around Charisma.

When I decided to open my eyes I don’t even know what was happening. I was feeling excited, surprised and confused at the same time. I just realized that Mila had kissed me. I instantly pulled away leaving the warm lips of Mila.

“Im so… so sorry, Flicker!” Mila said blushing. “I just don’t know what I was thinking… I-I was just caught up in the moment and…” I stopped Mila.

“I know… you have feelings for me and well… im sorry but I just don’t feel the same way. I already have my eyes set on a pony and I just can’t be with you.” I said and I felt like I was dead inside. I just rejected my friend and I was just gonna leave her broken hearted.

I waved my friend goodbye and the last thing I saw before I closed the door was her breaking down in to tears with the piece of paper in her hooves, and I realized if I even made the right choice.