The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Chapter 4

 After the Dovahkiin had rescued the Princess from the clutches of the dragon, they made good time to Canterlot. It had only taken them 2 hours of walking to reach the lifts to the Golden city, albeit 2 quiet hours, as they had not said a word. This was likely because the memories of last night were coming back to them, and they did not like what they saw.

 “Alright, now that we’ve reached the Gates, we will have to take a short stroll to the castle, but be warned, the ponies of Canterlot are quite uptight, and will most probably look upon you with disdain.” she said, but most likely to soothe herself rather than him.

 “What should I be worried about? There was once a man who thought he was better than me, when he said something like that to my face, he regretted it afterwards.” He then began to think of Nazeem, flashing a cocky smile when he remembered that he met the wrong end of an iron dagger.

 “Yes, but this time you won’t be able to kill them.” she shot him a look that was quite amusing.

 “Well, not yet, but I still have time.”

 “Fine, but only at night.” They both began to laugh at their jokes.

 As they began to walk the short path to the Castle, there was lots of talk about the Dovahkiin as he walked with Celestia. This was all fine, he could just about handle it, but then, one pompous prick said one thing that could never be forgiven.

 “What swine, no wonder this country is in the deep end when the Princess hangs out with common ruffians like this. She should renounce the throne all together!”

 At this, the Dovahkiin snapped. He walked straight up and looked into this arrogant ass’s face.

 “Hey you, FUCK OFF! If you don’t have the balls to say this to my face then don’t say it at all. She is your leader and she sure-as-hell wouldn’t want to hang around your bitch ass all day! You think she doesn’t care about anyone other than you? Well I’ve got news for you, without your money, you are nothing but a piece of bigoted scum who doesn’t deserve the right to live in as peaceful a country as this. So either man up, or shut up.”

 “HOW DARE YOU, I am a noble whose father is a very prominent figure in the courts, you are just a 2-bit beast that has learnt a few words. The only reason she keeps you around is most probably because you amuse her.” he said, in a very arrogant attitude.

 “Oh fuck this, you want to dance pretty boy.” And with that his gauntlet smashed into the face of this asshole, and when he tried to hit back, the Dovahkiin just caught his hoof in mid air and let it hang there for a second, before driving his knee into the stallions face. Then as he was bleeding on the ground he said,

 “What, couldn’t follow through on your promises, at least let this be a lesson in humility.” And with that he walked back to a stunned Celestia.

 “What is it with you and violence, it seems to follow you everywhere.”

 “ Luck of the Nine I guess.” He then flashed her a cocky smile, “So, Celestia, about last night...”

 “Yes, I know what you want to talk about, and let me tell you, it was only because I was inebriated, I promise it will not happen again.”

 “Princess, have you ever heard the saying ‘A drunk women’s words are her sober thoughts.’”

 “I believe that we shouldn’t talk about this again, for now anyway.” and with that she carried on walking as if nothing had happened.

 “By Talos’ beard, I was only trying to smooth things over.” he then continued alongside her, and neither spoke a word for the rest of the journey.

 As they reached the Castle gates, the Dovahkiin was stopped by one of the Royal Guard.

 “Halt, hand over your weapons, or we will have to take them from you!”

 “Bite my shiny armoured ass!”

 “Why you litt-” but before he could finish Celestia stepped in front of him.

 “Captain, Let him through.”

 “But your majesty, he is holding weapons that could be used to harm you or your sister, I will not allow them inside.” He replied adamantly

 “Let.Him.In.”

 “Right away your majesty.” she was not in a good mood and he wasn’t about to annoy her.

 “Thank you Cloud Breeze.”, and with that they both trotted into the Castle’s main hall.

 “Dearest Sister, it is so good to see you again.” came a voice from in front of Celestia, but the Dovahkiin could not see it as he was standing behind her.

 “Hello sister, I have brought the guest we talked about.” and with that she stepped aside.

 In front of the Dovahkiin was the most beautiful sight he had laid his eyes on, out matching the halls of Sovngarde and The College of Winterhold alike. Standing before him was a midnight blue Alicorn whose beauty was beyond compare. Her face was like a sculpture, made only to be seen by the richest of kings. Her eyes like pools of water, basking in moonlight. Her body was one smooth shape, neverending. And her mane billowed in an invisible breeze, out-shining Celestia’s own multi-coloured mane by a long shot, as it seemed to be made out of the Galaxies themselves, with stars becoming pinpoints of light. And all he could do about it is drool.

 “Prisoner, I would like to introduce you to my sister, Luna.”

 “....” He couldn’t say a word, only she filled his thoughts.

 “Prisoner, hello, anyone there?”

 “...”

 “PRISONER!” she yelled at the top of her voice.

 “Hmm, yeah what.” finally tearing his eyes away from the beautiful goddess.

 As Celestia looked into his eyes, she saw what he thought, it was obvious in the way he looked back to her sister, and the way he could not speak. She was hurt.

 “This is my sister, Luna.” a slight bit of sadness graced every word.

 “This is no normal being, it’s as though the Nine themselves have looked upon her and blessed her with beauty, she is a sight to behold, a light in the dark, a flower in a wasteland.” He tried to put on his best noble impression, and he succeeded, too focused on this new wonder, he could not see the pain in his friend's face.

 “Oh stop, you are making me blush.” she looked down shyly, turning her head away from him.

 “Well, since you two have gotten acquainted, I think it is time to show him to his room, don’t you Luna?” she asked, giving her sister a convincing look.

 “What, oh yes, I will show you to your room.” as she began to lead him away, Celestia stopped them.

 “That will be of no need sister, I shall do it, you need to prepare the moon and all.”

 “No, do not worry sister, the pleasure is mine.”

 “Sister, I am doing it, end of story.” she emphasised this with a stomp of her hoof.

 Not wanting to get on her sister’s bad side after something so trivial she gave up.

 “Fine then sister, but Prisoner, we will have to meet up after dinner and meet each other properly.” She gave him a sly wink and was off.

 “You really didn’t have to do that, I would have been fine with Luna.”

 “No, do not worry, I insist.”

 As they made their way through the halls, they arrived at his designated room.

 “So this is it then, pretty fancy if you ask me.” he then jumped to the bed, laying down on the soft surface.

 “Look, Prisoner, I do believe we have to talk about something.”

 “Is this about last night, I thought we both agreed not to talk about it anymore.”

 “Yes, it is and yes, we did. I withheld information from you. It is true that I harbour certain feelings for you, but none that may jeopardize our friendship.” She gave him a look of longing, as if she was trying to convince him that she was the better choice.

 “Wow, that is a big thing to admit Celestia, but may I ask why?”

 “You are just so heroic, brave, foolhardy and exotic! How could I not feel such ways towards you. I do believe that Twilight harbours some of these as well, but maybe not as strongly.”

 “So, when I was in the hall and commenting on Luna, that must have hurt.”

 “Yes, it did.”

 “And the reason you wanted to escort me was because you wanted some alone time.”

 “Yes.”

 “So what, are you going to rape me again.” He then flashed her a cocky smile that he was famous for, and started to laugh.

 “Maybe?” she then looked at him and pounced, but instead of doing what she said she would do, she just started to laugh, and laugh and laugh, until both of them were on the floor and out of breath.

 “See, this isn’t so bad, we can still be friends.”

 “But you won’t ever see me in that way?” she looked at him, with hope in her eyes

 “No, not for this moment, but who knows, I might in the future, but right now, I can’t see that happening.”

 “What about Luna, do you think of her in such ways?”

 “Celestia, I know what you are trying to pull, and as a friend, I ask you to stop. Yes, Luna is attractive, no, I am not going to act on any feelings I have towards her for 2 reasons: One, I do not know her and Two, you are of a different species. While this isn’t weird for me in some ways, as there are interspecies relationships back on Nirn, you still look similar to horses, and this will take me awhile to get used to.”

 “Fine, but I will not give up on these feelings so lightly.”

 “I wouldn’t have expected you to do otherwise.” and with that he smiled at her and they both left his room.

 As the three of them sat down to eat, a large commotion was heard outside of the hall. Then the doors were pushed open to reveal a large white stallion with a blonde mane charging into the hall, and he had a look of anger on his face.

 “Aunt Celestia!” said the newcomer, straining his face with his shouting.

 “Yes nephew?” she rolled her eyes, expecting some outrageous claim that he would expect her to do.

 “Some freak attacked one of my friends today for no good reason, apparently he wasn’t even a pony, and then he had gall to threaten you as well! I want to be the one to find this monster and hang him from the rafters.” He then gave his ‘Aunt’ an expectant look, as if he thought she bowed to his every want and need.

 “Tell me nephew, what did your friend say this monster looked like.” she began to stifle a laugh as she and her sister had smile brought to their faces.

 “He said that it was bipedal, and he was wearing armor of some kind, and that he was as ugly as a hydra.”

 The Dovahkiin, realising the stallion was talking about him, started to pipe in.

 “I find that very offensive, I think I look half as good as a Hydra, do you not agree Celly?” He began to laugh as he thought up that nickname on the spot.

 “Wait, you let this ruffian eat at a table that is worthy of me?! How dare you!” he actually appeared shocked that they would do such a thing.

 “Hey, fuck-face! I am allowed to eat wherever I damn well please, and if you don’t like it then fight me like a real Nord.” The Dovahkiin then got up, and walked straight over to where the ‘Prince’ was standing.

 “How dare you speak like that to me, you urchin! You have no right! I think I will have to teach you some manners.”, and with that he bucked the Dovahkiin in the face, sending him to the ground.

 “Serves you right for thinking you can best me,  the Nephew of the Princesses.” he had a smug look on his face that the Dovahkiin found rightly infuriating, but instead of shouting when he got up, he instead started to laugh.

 “That was a good kick, but let me tell you this, it was probably the worst mistake you could possibly make. But, seeing as I am in a good mood, I will let you apologise, for this and for the trauma you caused my friends at the gala. If you do, you can walk away without your shit being fucked up.”

 “You think you can threaten me, I can have the guard on you in a minute and have you locked up without the key.”

 “So I will take that as a pass on the apology then.”

 “Most definitely.” He reared up for another kick to the Dovahkiin’s head, but he was too slow, the Dovahkiin dodged the attack and aimed a punch right into his face. As the fist connected, he grabbed the Prince by his mane and said “I am in a really good mood today, so I am going to give you another chance to apologise and leave with your ego intact, if you refuse however, I am not responsible for what happens next.

 “How about you let go of me ruffian!” and then he spit in the Dovahkiin’s face.

 “Fine by me, bitch!”

 “FUS RO DAH!” he shouted, sending the prince clattering across the floor, but before he could get up the Dovahkiin was upon him.

 “Hey bitch, have you got guard problems?” he said picking him up by his mane again.

 “Please just let me go I will do anything.”

He then began to break down crying a Celestia and Luna could not contain their Laughter, guffawing all over the floor.

 “ANSWER ME!” he screamed in the Prince’s face

 “Yes, I do have Guard problems, please don’t hurt me!”

 “So you got guard problems, I feel bad for you son, you got 99 problems and your knee is about to have one!”

 And with that he drew out his bow and notched an arrow into it, he then drew it back and released one right into the princes knee. As the screams of agony began to form from the newly formed hole in the Prince’s knee, he walked back to the dining table and sat down in his chair, the only thing he said about the incident was,

 “Send him to the hospital, he should really get that looked at.”

He then returned to eating some of his carrots.

 Both Luna and Celestia looked at him in awe, no one stood up to Blueblood, let alone actually threaten him, and now he comes along and beats the crap out of him, and when he is on the floor, begging for forgiveness, shoots an arrow through his knee in some kind of sick joke.

 Luna then turned to her sister and said,

 “Can we keep him Celestia? Pretty please? I think that we can have some real fun with him.” as she gave him a sly smile.

 “Oh God, does the torment never end.” The princess cringed at her sister's last sentence.