My Little Deathbattle

Today we have an… interesting fight.

Understatement of the f:rainbowkiss:king year. *surprised* And I’m being censored for some reason.

Hush you!

He is right though. Today we have two incredibly powerful-

One might even say “bricks”

Facing off.

While us “puny mortals” watch and eat popcorn.

Draco, the half dragon half…. Somthing….

And Jackson Leonidas Anderson, Son of Mars and personal guard to Princess Sparkle.

He’s Lolk and he’s Aegis.

And he’s Nex. And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to determine who would win a deathbattle.

Pass the pain killers, this is gonna suck.

Draco

Race: Dragon/pony

Specialty: Durability

Weakness: Poor Planning.

((Note From Blaze: Sorry for the interruption, just a quick annoucment. During this Deathbattle, we’ll be testing the patent-pending Cliche Counter. It may still have some…. problems to iron out however, so comment below!))

Great, so he’s Spikes wet dream?

I guess. His mother was a pony and his father a dragon. What one, we don’t know.

At a young age, his brother died protecting his mother.

And it wouldn’t be a traumatic childhood if they didn’t try to rape her in front of him.

I’m just going to put this off to the side. Cliche Counter: 2

So he, of course snaps and kills them. *DING* Cliche Counter: 3

And then five years after that, she died anyways in the weather factory. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 4

He then went to work in the Rainbow Factory because… He’s a sadist I guess.

No s:rainbowkiss:. He went ahead and went bat s:rainbowkiss: insane and was punished by Celestia in the form of being frozen in stone for two hundred years. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 5

And not only that, but while encased in stone, Nightmare Moon crept into his head.

I think it was for the low rent of such an empty space. He was set free when Twilight moved to Ponyville because somepony’s hex wasn’t quite stereotypical enough. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 6

Once freed, he fought his way out of Canterlot and started his own little reign of terror more or less just killing anything that he didn’t like and even made a throne out of the severed heads of his “enemies”.

His weapons are strangely all natural. His tail is filled with sixty blade-like spikes he can throw and his long claws that can cut through steel.

His magical prowess are limited to only being able to turn his blood diamond hard and still move around as though it were still liquid.

Because physics! *DING* Cliche Counter: 7

Outside of that, he doesn’t really have much else.

He can punch rocks into rubble and all the other superman powers that aren’t coming out of his face. And since he works at the rainbow factory, we can assume he can fly.

*Pops pain killer* Basically, he’s bulletproof, can body check trains and punch hard.

But like Superman, he has a weakness.

Kryptonite!

No you idiot. He doesn’t think things through.

His strategy is mostly kill first, ask questions never. That kind of thought process doesn’t leave much for planning out of actual attacks. His overconfidence in his abilities is and has been his downfall before despite him having a throne made of heads. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 8

What was that one for?

Continuity!

So long as the one fighting him can stop and think, he’s got a high chance of failure.

But what about Nightmare Moon up in his skull? What does she do?

She doesn’t do anything. She’s just another Big Lipped Alligator.

Oh… Well let’s move on then.

“Deceive your enemy and you will win; for deception is your greatest ally.”

Why that’s his quote, I’ll never know. Add another Ding for more Continuity. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 9

Jackson Leonidas Anderson

Race: Human

Specialty: Greco/Roman Style Fighting

Weakness: Prone to his own anger.

Jack Anderson was born to a mortal mother in the hidden city of New Rome deep in the plains of North America.

So basically he’s from the Percy Jackson Universe. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 1

So if his mother was a mortal, who’s his dad? Mars, God of War and Strategy of course! *DING*

Cliche Counter: 2

That was fast.

The perks of such an obvious soldier are as follows:

Unrivaled: split second reflexes, the ability to slow down his mind’s eye to take in battle, swordsmanship and the ability to go ape shit on anything he doesn’t like. So add a few dings to that. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 5

At the age of seventeen, he was elected as one of two militant leaders called Pretorians after one of his half brothers was booted out.

You might think that seventeen is young but if you know anything about the new Precy Jackson books, only demigods are elected as the leaders. Should there be a ding for that?

Nah, that’s dingin’ the same thing twice.

Ah.

Anyways. Jack’s half brother, Cipherus, was pissed that he was booted out and that he was his replacement. So he left New Rome and gathered an army of rogue demigods and monsters to take New Rome for himself.

But when the attack came, Jack sacrificed himself with a weapon of the God’s that killed anything from Tartarus but send anything that looks at the blast to an unknown place. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 6

Which is obviously Equestria. *DING* Cliche Counter: 7

Wow, not even half way through and his counter almost as high as Malfoy's.

Yeah. Once there, he ran from a manticore and was kicked in the face by Rainbow Dash.

After talking his way out of jail time to the Princesses, he was told to prove his allegiance to Equestria by becoming the personal guard to Princess Twilight Sparkle. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 8

What was that for?

Princess Sparkle Band Waggon.

Oh.

But it all goes ari when it turns out Cipherus was transported to Equestria too and somehow got a few hundred ponies to agree to help him.

It was there that even though he killed many of his own kind, his loyalty was called into question. He once again talks his way around it and is stationed back in Ponyville to help defend it.

It’s also there that he makes his signature weapon, a Black Iron Gladiolus. Three feet of absolute death.

Being a son of Mars, he is well versed in sword fighting along with most any weapon he can pick up.

After Ponyville is taken, he’s forced to help Cipherus sneak into Canterlot to take it over. And instead of killing him when he did so, *DING* Cliche Counter; 9

he puts makes him a gladiator for three months before Canterlot is liberated.

It’s during this time that he get’s one of his magical weapons, a band brace that expands into a full sized Roman shield.

The shield can withstand any non-magical weapon.

And he does mean ANY. That thing can take arrows the size of people and not even dent or hurt his arm on the other side.

The shield is however powerless against anything that is magical.

But that’s why he has a ring given to him by Celestia that gives him the powers of a unicorn. *DING*

Cliche Counter: 10 WINNER

The ring is magically bound to him and binds him to Equestria. Even if he found a way home, he couldn’t take it.

He isn’t a master of magical weapons thankfully and can only use basic spells. Meaning basic attack bolts, shields and telekinesis. The most advanced magic he knows is minor elemental spells such as fire. But he's more well versed in the use of his telekinesis.

That, he is. He even used two massive stone columns to shut an opening to Tartarus that was allowing Tyrek to escape.

The ring also enchants his armor to withstand light magical attacks and the plates to be near unbreakable. But there are gaps that a well placed blade can exploit.

Good thing that’s the extent of his magic. Any more and he’d be you, Nex.

Kiss my shiny metal hoofs ass h:rainbowkiss:.

ANYWAYS! He has two other weapons, the Mouth of Tartarus and the Dagger of Nemesis.

The dagger is made of imperial gold, a metal used by the Fire God Vulcan. The dagger can only kill immortal creatures and passes through anything that is true to their word.

Those who are traitors will die by the blade but there is a catch. The dagger was made by the Goddess of Revenge, Nemesis; meaning it’s cursed.*DING*

Cliche Counter: 11

Once the dagger is used for revenge, the user will die along with the one they kill.

The other weapon is the Mouth of Tartarus, a black zippo lighter that when opened, shoots green fire to a range of twenty feet. Great for lighting campfires, roasting marshmallows, but not for lighting pipes.

The lighter is fueled by the essence of dead monsters. The residue left behind when they die. It takes a full grown manticore to fill it up and it’s deadly none the less.

So we’ve heard all the “good” things about Jack, what’s the bad?

He’s a hothead!

He isn’t wrong. Jack has a tendency to get angry easy. Despite preferring to remain out of conflict that also conflicts with the usual Son of Mars thing.*DING*

Cliche Counter: 12

He has a powerful tendency to get caught up in the battle and leave a large opening for the enemy to exploit. But all in all, he’s still a warrior and as deadly as any of the others we’ve had here. Doesn’t make him any less of a brick however.

But no matter how you spell it, I still want that lighter.

“I’m not a killer, I’m a sentinel.”*DING* Cliche Counter: 13

Alright, the combatants are set, it’s time to end this debate once and for all.

But first, we have to stall while Lolk finishes popping the popcorn.

The Officers of the NLR cordially invite you to ask us anything on our Tumblr page. You don’t need an account to ask us questions and we answer everything we get within some varying degrees of rules.

Just click <here> to go to the Tumblr and ask away. We’re also looking for comic artists to illustrate the interactions and some funny things that happen free of charge.

Butter or not?

Butter. And now, it’s time for a Republic DEATHBATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!

On the Eastern side of Ponyville in Princess Twilight's library, a dark hair human sat in full black and gold armor reading a book. His feet were propped up on the center table as he scanned through his copy of Alicorns, Where Did They Come From?. Princess Sparkle trotted down the stairs with her saddle bags on. The human was about to get up but she waved him off.

"It's fine Jack. I'm just going to the Crystal Empire on Cadence's train." she said with a smile. "Take a week off."

"Sounds good to me." Jack said leaning back in his chair. "Tell Cadence I said hey."

"Sure. Keep the place from burning down now." Twilight replied before shutting the door behind him.

Jack kicked his feet back up and continued from where he thought he left off. About an hour after she left a stiff knock came at the door. Jack looked up from his book and raised his right hand to the door. His hand glowed dark purple along with the front door. The door opened to reveal a light gray dragon with emerald green eyes in a light brown trench coat. He looked around and walked past the threshold.

"Can I help you?" Jack asked sitting up.

"That depends, you Jack?"

"You see another humans around here?"

"Good."

The anthro-dragon whipped his tail around and fired two daggers-like spikes in his direction. Jack was quick and put up his left arm and tapped the golden eagle on the top of the band brace. His shield started to extend and came out enough to block the two spikes before they ripped through his neck. Jack stood up as the shield finished fully extending.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Jack asked.

"I suppose I shouldn't be rude. I'm Draco, I'll be delivering your death this evening."

FIGHT!

Jack drew his gladius and took his familiar stance. Draco whipped his tail around and launched four spikes this time. Jack leaned into his shield and started to push forward quickly. He moved his shield out of the way and started bobbing and weaving in-between strides; trying to make himself as hard a target as possible. Draco launched more spikes at him but all passed by him harmlessly.

Now he was in attack range. Jack brought his sword over his head and swung with all his might. Draco sidestepped Jack and pulled his dragged his claws across Jack's back. The knife like claws scratched the leather on the armor but otherwise had no impact. Draco took another stance as Jack stumbled to the other side of the door. The two squared off again and started to circle. Jack held his shield out in front of himself and Draco kept his tail up, ready to fire another volley of spikes.

Draco made the first move this time, he swung his tail and launched four more spikes at Jack. Two at his feet and two at the eye holes in his helmet. Jack took in a breath and felt the world slow to a snail's pace. He wasn't ready to stay in the line of fire any longer than he had to. He swept his right foot back and out of the way of the spikes as they got close. His left foot follow, spinning his body around along with his sword arm. He swung it down in a high arc and deflected one of the spikes to the ground.

With his left foot back in front, he pushed off his right foot and lunged with all his strength behind his blade. Draco wasn't quite ready for it but was still able to side step his attack as well. The tip of jack's gladius ripped through the front of Draco's trench coat. Seeing his attack missed, Jack wheeled around and hammered the top of his shield into bridge of Draco's snout. He stammered back as Jack took his stance again.

Looking down at himself, he noticed the massive tear in his jacket. He looked up and sneered at his opponent.

"This was my favorite trench coat!" he shouted as his eyes glowed.

Jack took the opportunity and went for another stab. Draco didn't bother to block or dodge, he let Jack get as close as he wanted. The second his tip touched Draco's stomach, Jack's blade clanged off his scales and off to the side. Jack was stunned. Draco responded by attempting to drag his claws across Jack's face. His helmet took up most of the slash but Draco was able to put a gash in his chin.

Draco took full advantage of Jack's surprise. He planted a powerful kick in his stomach and threw him into the center table. Jack grunted in pain as he started to get up. Draco launched two barrages of four spikes at Jack as he sat up. Jack put up his shield quickly enough to stop them from tearing into his exposed neck. Before he could even get up off of the table, Draco was already on top of him slashing away at his shield with his claws. Jack reached over to his shield arm and undid the band brace.

With a magically assisted punch, he shot Draco up and out of the library with his shield. Jack levitated his sword back into his hand and he ran out into the streets were ponies were gazing up at the sky. Jack looked up just in time to see Draco brandishing his shield like a paddle as he flew down from straight over him. Jack crossed his arms over himself and summoned a force field around his body. Draco didn't care, he swung Jack's shield and launched jack like he was a golf ball, turning his shield into splinters on impact..

Jack held the shield as he flew out of Ponyville and into the fields near Rainbow Dash's house. He came crashing down into a hill and even left a trench in his wake. His shield faded as he stood back up relatively unharmed. Draco landed in front of Jack holding the wing of the eagle that was on his shield only moments ago. The shield had been damaged before but not to this extent. His mother built that for him and it was hard to see it go. He sneered at Draco and reached behind him with his left hand to his dagger.

"You wanna play it that way?" He said summoning fire into his left palm. "Then let's go griffon bait."

Draco smiled and charged Jack again. He knew he was angry, and he knew this was his time. Jack however wasn't quite as blind as Draco was. Jack summoned a column of fire and shot it towards him. Draco put up his arms to block the fire without stopping. When he passed through unharmed, he put out his claws and slashed at where he thought Jack would be standing. Instead, there was just scorched earth. He looked around him but saw nothing.

Above him, the fire under his feet faded as he drew his lighter. He flicked the head of the stagnant iron Zippo up and let the heat of the bright green fire launch down at Draco. Draco wasn't ready for the attack and was thrown to the ground by the powerful wave of magically fueled inferno. Jack started to fall towards the now burning Draco without letting up on the lighter. He cast a quick levitation spell on his boots and let them reduce the impact as he landed a few feet away.

From the fire, a burning hand emerged and grabbed Jack's exposed left arm. He let out a shout as the searing hot scales of Draco's hand gripped his arm. Jack dropped the lighter and Draco stamped it into pieces. Jack slashed at Draco's arm and again his gladius glanced off of his scales, but the force did get Draco to let go. Jack jumped back and watched as the fire faded around Draco's now bare body. Jack's left arm was heavily so heavily burned it hurt just to try and clench his fist.

Jack reached back and drew his dagger in his left hand and surrounded his right in a magical aura. Draco flared his wings in anger and lunged at Jack again, this time much faster. As fast as he could, Jack reached down with his right hand then aimed it skyward. Just before Draco go to Jack, a six foot wall of stone shot out of the ground at a forty-five degree angle. Draco glanced off of the stone and tumbled over Jack.

As he flew overhead, Jack slashed at him with his dagger and cut through the dragon/pony's right wing with zero resistance. Draco howled in pain as he skidded across the grass. When he stood he looked at his now severed wing with astonishment.

"How'd you do that?" He asked, magically stopping the bleeding.

"Imperial Gold. It doesn't care what spells you're protected by, it cuts you up all the same." Jack said twirling the blade in his hand.

"Doesn't matter, your head's mine!" Draco shouted launching ten spikes at Jack.

Jack mustered up a powerful blast of fire and launched it back at him. The rush of hot air through several of them off course but four were still on their way to killing him. Jack turned to his right to help present a smaller target as he put up his still armored right arm. Two spikes glanced off his right wrist and one off of his shin guard. The fourth one however found a small chink in his armor. The spike's tip pierced the leather under the metal plate and embedded itself in his right side.

Jack stammered and grabbed the spike in his right hand. Draco charged and tried to slash at him but Jack was able to use his magic to throw him off to the side using his free hand. Draco skidded across the ground on his claws as Jack started to pull the spike out of his ribs. He grit his teeth as he slowly pulled the bloodied spike from out of his side. His blood boiled as he looked down at the monstrosity in his hand. one third of the one foot long spike was covered in Jack's fresh blood. Draco dug the claws on his toes into the ground and used them as cleats.

As he charged, Jack dropped the spike and used that hand to fire bolts of magic at Draco as he ran. The bolts slammed into Draco and even knocked a few scales from his chest and face as they hit, but he still kept coming. Jack had to side step him before continuing his magical onslaught, he even was able to summon up a few shots of lightning but they still didn't stop him. He'd had enough of this, Jack reached down with both hands and telekinetically grabbed thick slabs of earth ten feet in front of him.

The second Draco was over the area Jack was holding, he lifted up and the two slabs shot up and encased him in the stone. Jack didn't have time to admire his handy work, he was finished with this thing.

"I'm fucking tired of this." He said as he approached Draco at a casual pace. "I'm sending you back to Tartarus!"

Draco struggled to free his arms but couldn't manage it at the moment. He looked Jack over as quickly as he could, hoping Nightmare Moon could lend some aid. His gaze then came across the small gap on the front of the breast plates to allow for forward movement of the arms. Draco had to get a hand free now. He pulled as hard as he could on the stone and felt it start to give way under his strength.

Jack was four feet away now holding his dagger over his head. Draco's left arm broke free of the stone when Jack was three feet away from him. He quickly thrust his hand forward at Jack's chest and instantly found his mark. Jack stopped abruptly and looked down to see Draco's hand sticking out of the center of his chest. Jack grabbed Draco's arm with his right hand and plunged his golden dagger into the arm.

Draco shouted in pain as Jack slowly cut through Draco's arm. The dagger cut through his skin was easily enough, but the bone was another story. Jack then raised his arm over his head and brought the bottom of his forearm down on the gash around the exposed bone. The snap of the bone echoed across the grasslands as Jack severed Draco's arm.

Jack stumbled back clutching Draco's arm still sticking firm in his chest. Jack cringed and hollered in agony as he dragged Draco's knife like claws out of his chest. As the middle finger slides out of his chest, he lets out groan and falls to his knees. Draco smiles and uses his other arm to cut the last of the stone off of him. He shook rubble from his shoulders and stepped over to his opponent.

"Pitiful." he said lifting Jack's head with his other right claw.

"Go ta hell." Jack choked.

"I don't think so."

Draco thrust his claws all the way through his neck. Jack gargled on his own blood for a moment before his eyes glazed over. Draco wasn't done yet however, he clenched his hand into a fist. His claws cut through his spine and most of his muscles. He turned his claws around so that he was palm up on his neck and then tore his head clean off his shoulders. He held Jack's head in his hands for a moment before summoning his embalming spell. He admired his handy work and walked off towards the the Everfree Forest.

K.O.

*In the Everfree Forest* Nexus!

What the hell?

How the hell does he know we're watching?

I know all of you hear me! I challenge you Nexus! Your head is next you bastard!

Um… Okay… That just happened.

Yeah… So Draco!

Jack was a formidable opponent for Draco but he couldn't get around his diamond hard skin.

Jack had the most varied weapons but couldn't match him in both range and endurance. He was bound to give up before him.

His greatest weapons were the Dagger of Nemesis and his attack magic. But he didn't know strong enough spells to make anything more than a dent in his scales.

The winner is Draco.