My Little Deathbattle

GAH! Too…. Much…. OP dipshits…… I think I’m gonna vomit!

Sh! You want him to hear us? Just take an antacid and we’ll get through this.

Okay…. I think I feel better… sort of. I should be good until they start fighting.

Good. Lunarus Nexus, the current Republic Deathbattle Champion.

And Draco, current contender for the belt.

He’s Lolk and I’m Aegis.

And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to determine who would win a death battle.

And before you ask. Nexus is busy with somepony, but we’ll get to that later. So he’s absent today.

Draco

Race: Dragon/Pony

Specialty: Durability

Weakness: Not thinking things through.

Not this guy again……

Focus for five minutes. We’re not going over him as thoroughly as we did before.

Good. Draco scored a strong 10 points on the Cliche Counter so we’ll be cutting a lot of meat off of this one.

Dracos was born to a pony mother thanks to a dragon father. What dragon, we don’t know.

Nor do we care. He’s OP all the same

He wears no armor but doesn’t have to because of his power to turn his scales diamond hard. Why?

Because Dragons can do that now apparently!

His mother was raped in front of him thus bringing out his inner madman.

And by that, we mean he went around collecting severed heads to make into a throne after he was imprisoned in stone for 200 years.

Am I the only one half missing Nex right now? The jokes don’t sound right without his snarky ass-hole tone.

It’s not just you. for some odd reason, I do find myself wishing he was here. How strange...

Anyways, he was imprisoned because of his brutal work at the Rainbow Factory.

The bad one. Not the spicy one.

Yeah we need Nex back….

On to actual abilities I guess. He can heal any wound unless it’s a severed limb and he can also shoot dagger like spikes out of his tail.

Of which, he has 60.

It buuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrns……

He also has ten claws that can cut through steel and super strength to boot. So like Nex said before, he’s like Superman but he just can’t do anything that involves shooting things out of his face.

Only his- No. This isn’t working.

Yeah… I’m not making that joke either. Why’d we even write that in!?

Because Nexus likes that sort of thing, and he pays us?

I thought Striker payed us?

Yes, but do you honestly think Striker is the one who does all the paperwork for our paychecks?

From what you give him, it wouldn't surprise me. Anyways!

He’s killed thousands just for the joy of it and so he could make his throne. That now has a Deathbattle competitor as it’s foot rest.

Despite having the ghost of Nightmare Moon in his empty skull, he makes awful battle choices.

Despite this, he tries to convince others he lives by a philosophy based on deceit and intellect.

And that’s why he’s the second most cliche challenger in Deathbattle history.

“I don’t think so.”

Lunarus Solaris Nexus

Race: Unicorn/Cyber Pony. Alicorn

Specialty:Gorilla Strategy and dark magic. Being OP

Weakness: Metaphorical Monophobia. Being a bitch

I take it back, I don’t miss Nexus anymore.

Yeah. This is going to be fun.

We did say there was a reason Nexus wasn't here. And we will.

While we were gone, Nexus went ahead and got married.

Being the Fool that he was, his social life is gone forevermore.

Only made worse by the fact that his wife had their first born son, Astral Wind Nexus.

His wife is at work so he had to watch the little brat.

What’d he do to you? He’s two.

He bit me. His teeth are surprisingly sharp.

I heard about that. You did take his plushie of his favorite Auntie.

:.... Fair enough.

But when he’s not giving his son raspberries,

Hmm?

What? You never give a baby changeling a raspberry to make them giggle?

... what about me makes you think I ever went near small children unless I was forced to?

You cold son of a bitch.

True enough.

Anyways… Again…. He was promoted to Colonel and given the position as Luna’s Senator in the Equestrian Royal Council.

He was also given a new set of armor by Luna that was forged a thousand years ago for his ancestor, General Goldenchord.

*DING* Cliche Counter: 1

What was that for?

The ‘thousand years’ bit, the ‘commissioned by Luna’ bit, or the combination of both of them being given to a newly promoted ali- *ahem* -unicorn.

Fair enough. The armor is made from a meteor. The metal is stronger than any ore from the earth for half the weight….. What no DING?

I’m guessing that’s coupled with the ‘thousand year’ thing.

Ah. Well, he was also given a sword made of carbonized steel.

Meaning it’s twice as strong as steel. He still knows how to bring out somepony’s fears.

*shivers* Fluttershy.....

Wuss. Anyways, the usual Spark of Honor spell is still there. More or less meaning he can summon a lightning bolt.

He also still has his old weapons.

His electrified hidden blades and two shot, lever action pistols stashed in his legs. I’d have more but weapons were more Nexus’ thing.

And then there’s also the most overpowered part of him.

The Remains of King Sombra!

Yeah it doesn’t work when you’re that over the top.

I know… The remains of Sombra can make him turn into Lunarus Umbra. Where all of his stats are amped by tw-twe-twen- *slaps Lolk on the back* Twenty Percent. Man that hurt.

The form manifests itself when he’s near death or gives into his rage and lasts thirty seconds. Then he needs a ten second cool down and leave him fully open for attack.

*grumbling* Bastard and his super powers….

That’s what killed me. You died because he-

He’s the most OP of us all and now has more to lose than ever. He is an ass-hole.

“Lights out.”

Alright the combatants are set, let’s end this debate once and for all.

And since I have too much pride. Here’s a recording of the last time this happened.

*on a tape recorder* It’s time for a championship Repubulic DEATHBATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

High in the Canterlot castle, in the western tower of the night, Lunarus Nexus was being strapped into his ebony armor by his wife Dust Strom.

"Faust I hate these putting this thing on." Nexus said shifting the metal plates to try and make them more comfortable on his body.

"I think you look handsome." Dust said giving her husband a peck on the cheek.

"I still don't understand why I have to officiate the ceremony. Luna out ranks me so she should be the one to do it." Nexus wondered strapping his sword to his back.

"Senate has been adjourned until something needs to be done, and Luna knows you like to keep busy." Dust replied strapping his helmet on.

"Yeah I guess." Nexus said as a little navy blue colt peeked over his crib. Nexus saw this and lifted him out with his magic. The little foal clutched his Luna plushie trying to not drop it as Nexus levitated him over to him. "Besides, you're a full time job as it is." he told the colt as he giggled happily.

"Thanks for watching him today honey. They needed some help preparing the ball room for dinner tonight."

Nexus smiled and gave his little one a raspberry before handing him off to Dust. He gave her a quick kiss and started towards the door. "I'll be back in about an hour or so."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too Dusty. You be nice to mommy now."

Just as Nexus was about to shut the door, his son spoke up. "Bye bye Daddy." he said waving his little foreleg at his father.

"Bye bye Astral." Nexus said shutting the door with a smile on his face.

Nexus flared his wings to adjust his armor again before walking down the stairs to the main hall of the castle. As he went, he whistled (the following tune)

Youtube Video

At the end of the hall the ceremony was getting ready to take place. He just had to get past the throne room and Gala Hall. As he came upon the throne room, he stopped whistling when he caught something out the corner of his eye. At the foot of the Celestia's throne, more or less a display now, a rather odd looking figure stood wearing a light brown trench coat. Nexus raised an eye brow and entered the throne room.

"Hey, this room is off limits right now. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." he said getting closer.

The figure raised its head and looked back. He caught the gaze of bright green eyes that looked a lot like his son's in terms of how bright they looked. "Commander Nexus I presume." the figure said.

"Yes I am. And I'm not going to tell you again. This room is off limits today."

The figure chuckled and started to rise up higher than any normal pony until it was standing on two legs. It turned around with a sneer on its face and flared its dragon wings. Nexus looked sideways at the dragon before coming to a realization, he knew him. The light gray scales of the teenage dragon standing in front of him

"Oh," Nexus groaned. "You're the one that Vince wrote about?" Draco nodded. "Look, you have your family to think about, and I have mine. Let's not risk either one with this."

"Sorry, but I challenged you. And now, you're in my way." Draco said with a sick smile on his face. He wanted this fight. Time to prove Nexus wasn't invincible.

Nexus let out a sigh. "Fine." He reached up and undid the straps to the helmet and levitated it off his head. "But when this hits the floor, there's no turning back." Draco didn't budge. "Your funeral."

Nexus let go of the helmet and everything went into slow motion. Draco was already lifting up his tail while Nexus kept his eyes on Draco to see what he'd do. The helmet was now two feet from the ground and Draco's spikes were just about to go flying. And the second the top of the helmet touched the floor-

FIGHT!

Draco launched a volley of eight spikes at Nexus. Nexus reacted smartly and reared up. With both forelegs, he deflected the first two spikes, deflected the next four with his wings and let the last two bounce off his wings. Once he finished spinning, he struck a disco pose with one hoof in the air, the other on his crotch and his head down. Draco cringed at him.

*BA-DING* +50 Style Points

"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing in style." Nexus said flapping his wings.

Draco groaned in anger and fired another volley. Nexus didn't bother blocking this one. He pushed off to the side and then shot straight up into the air. Draco didn't hesitate to spread his own wings and shot up towards Nexus with his claws ready. But Nexus was ready for anything. He dodged to the side and slashed the back of Draco's leg with his hidden blade. Draco shouted in pain and hovered above Nexus.

He quickly applied healing magic to his leg and hardened his blood. Draco then sped at Nexus from above with no intention of stopping. Nexus, unaware that Draco's blood had hardened, slashed with both blades at Draco's throat. The steel blades shattered as Draco slammed into Nexus before pile driveling him into the ground. Nexus wasn't quite ready for the hit but his armor absorbed most of the impact.

Draco slid out of the smoke cloud that covered the crater that Nexus currently occupied. He got to his hoofs as the smoke cleared and shook the ruble out of his shaggy black mane. He dug his hoofs in and prepared for the next charge. Draco didn't keep him waiting; he lunged at him with all his might. Nexus telekinetically drew his sword and made another slash as Draco pass over him. The blade bounced off of Draco's scales harmlessly but he wasn't totally safe.

As Draco pulled up to dive on Nexus again, he fired a lightning bolt at Draco as he started to go vertical. The bolt slammed into him and made him go limp for a moment after hitting his right shoulder. He regained his equilibrium before checking his shoulder. There was a hole in his coat and a bare spot in his scales where the bolt had hit. He growled as Nexus prepared to shoot another. Draco rolled out of the way of Nexus' next shot just as he let it loose. The heat and the shock wave from the thunderbolt distorted his vision as he rolled around it.

As his vision returned, he noticed Nexus wasn't in the crater. He landed in the crater and looked around. From behind him, a loud shot rang out and a sharp pain shot through his shoulder. Nexus had fired a shot from one of his pistols and it landed right on the bald spot Nexus had left with his lightning spell. Draco turned quickly and took a second shot to the center of his chest. The lead ball shattered on impact but left no mark on his scales.

Draco didn't give him a chance to reload his pistols. He shot up towards Nexus at full speed. Nexus braced himself, knowing he couldn't dodge him, and put up a shield around his body. Draco slammed into him and held him out in front of him like a shield.

In the cathedral, a crowd of ponies stood quietly in front of the Princesses who stood behind a bright yellow unicorn with a bright red mane in a dark blue dress uniform. Celestia looked to Luna and she shrugged. Celestia sighed and stepped forward.

"Good afternoon our most loyal subjects," Celestia started. "We have gathered today to commend this young soldier, Orion Cutler, for-"

She was suddenly interrupted as the top right corner of the ceiling caving in and a blur of black and red flying towards them. Luna dropped the box she was holding and put a shield over the three of them as the blur crashed down at the foot of the altar they were standing at. The red half of the blur shot up through ceiling with the sound of two hydraulic pistons. Nexus flapped his wings and cleared the dust around him before looking to the altar. Luna put down the shield and Nexus picked up the metal that had fallen out of the box.

He didn't waste any time putting on his jacket. "Congrats kid. Now everypony evacuate now!" he shouted tot eh crowd in front of them. "Make sure you get Dust and Astral into the bunker." Nexus told Luna before taking off through the hole in the ceiling Draco had left.

He burst into the summer air and cringed at the sudden change in light. While blinded, Draco swooped down from Nexus' right and attempted to slash through his armor. The edges of his dagger like claws glanced off the metal on his back and he kept flying. Nexus' eyes adjusted to the sun light just as Draco came back around. This time, Draco launched another large volley of spikes as he passed. Nexus drew his sword again and rolled out of the way of the volley with his head down. The spikes he didn't dodge, bounced off the plates. Nexus came to his hind legs holding the cavalry sword at his side.

Draco turned around came flying at him at full speed. Nexus quickly turned his sword over in his hoof as Draco got within a few feet. Draco went for a slash across Nexus' face. But that's what he was hoping for. Nexus grabbed Draco's right arm and used his momentum to drive him into the roof of the castle. Nexus put his sword against the back of his right foreleg and placed the other edge against the back of Draco's neck. The roof of the chapel buckled under the force of the body slam.

Nexus hopped the weight he was putting behind the blade would be enough to shove the blade through Draco's scales, but no such luck. But then he saw the bare spot in Draco's shoulder and Nexus had an idea. He jumped back a good ten yards and launched a bolt of lightning as Draco started to stand up. The bolt hammered the back of his head and knocked him back down. Nexus skeptically looked over the writhing body of Draco. The dragon pony got up to his knees and felt the back of his head.

The bald spot was obvious. He growled in anger as Nexus leveled his pistol to take another shot. Just as Nexus fired, Draco turned and caught the bullet to the bridge of his nose. Once again, the lead ball hit his scales and bounced off. He used the claws in his tows to launch himself faster than before. Nexus had to put away his pistols and grab his sword from his magical hold.

But he was a little slow due to the armor. Draco took a tight hold of Nexus and then launched them both up again. Nexus put another shield around himself as they fly through the air towards the western tower of the castle. It was a devastating impact as Draco broke him through his own two story apartment in the tower. Once again, Nexus kicked Draco off of him and stood up in a white room filled with toys that smelled of baby powder.

The idea made his heart stop and his blood boil. He couldn't see Astral, but he wasn't sure if wasn't in there when he crashed through. For all he knew, he'd just buried him under a pile of rubble. He growled in anger and launched out the hole in the wall with a thunderous sonic boom. He quickly acquired his target flying just bellow his level and had to make little effort to get to his level.

This time, Nexus was the one who slammed into Draco. His bones rattled as they tumbled through the air, towards the statue garden. The hurdled through the garden until they'd made a line of absolute devastation in the soil; even taking out Nexus' statue. Nexus and Draco rolled until Draco had him pinned under him. He used the length of his claws to dig into the dirt and keep Nexus from kicking him off again. He pinned down his left foreleg and kept trying to slash at Nexus' neck with his other arm. But Nexus didn't give him a chance, blocking every chance he had with his right foreleg.

"It was a nice little place you had up there." Draco said being blocked again. "The little one's room I'd guess." Nexus didn't answer but he continued to struggle. "Don't worry; I'll be sure to put their heads right next to yours." Draco brought his tail around quickly and brought a spike to its surface.

Just as he brought it down on Nexus' head, it suddenly stopped short. He looked to his tail and saw a pure black aura holding it back. He tried to pull free but it wouldn't budge. Looking back at Nexus, he only saw his eyes; his blood red, serpent eyes. What he didn't see, was that Nexus' fur had also turned navy blue. His foreleg started to come up off the ground and Draco did everything in his power to hold him down but it was to no avail.

Draco blinked once and was taken aback by the sudden change in scenery. He was back in Cloudsdale where his mother and sister lived. But something was off. He stood in the front door but was facing as though he were leaving. He was out of breath and his right arm was sore. He turned around and saw the front hall that lead to the kitchen in shambles. He blinked a few times and moved forward to try and follow the path of destruction. As he approached the kitchen and teh all too familiar smell of blood flooded his nostrils. Flashes of his mother and sister flashed by him as he ran into the kitchen. Inside, the two of them lay in massive pools of their own blood.

Draco stammered back into the hall seeing his whole family gone. He ran to the door and was about to burst out into the city to go after whoever did this when he saw his claws utterly coated in the crimson fluid. He backed away from the door staring at his hands until he stumbled into the table they kept assorted junk. He looked up to the mirror and felt his heart stop at what was looking back him. It wasn't him; the body and eyes were his by they just... didn't look right. Then it hit him, the smile. He could feel that he wasn't smiling but his reflection was.

"You're mind now." his reflection, known as Drac said with a sick sadistic smile spread across his face.

Back in reality, Nexus' face started to contort into a powerful expression of absolute rage and hatred. "Nopony… Threatens… My… FAMILY!" he shouted in his Canterlot impression.

The sudden volume of Nexus' shout caused Draco to jump. That gave Nexus the opening to slip his hindlegs out from under Draco's claws. He landed a solid punch in Draco's stomach and turned the tables on him. He pinned him down and brought down a powerful right jab to his nose. There was a shockwave from the impact and put his head into its own crater. He dropped down three more with even greater force, as though he was trying to drop all of Canterlot with Draco's face.

His diamond hard blood kept him safe but it didn't quite help with the concussion he was getting. Nexus didn't let up either. When he tried to get up even an inch, Nexus brought down an elbow on his throat. After a one more punch, Nexus picked him up himself and teleported to the other side of the garden. He launched himself at the dazed Draco and slammed into him again with his foreleg out.

The punch knocked him off his feet and let loose another shockwave as he was sent flying. He teleported again and stopped him just short of another statue. Nexus turned him over and grabbed him by his feet before thrashing him into the ground three times. Nexus then spun him around and grabbed him by the sides of the head. Then he backed up a step and performed a kick off on his face.

The kick sent him flying over the tip of Canterlot Mountain. Nexus teleported again just as he was about pass over the tip of the mountain. Once above him, Nexus rotated mid air and performed the most powerful flying drop kick he'd ever done. The thud of the impact shook the castle to its foundation and destroyed nearby clouds. Draco slammed into the tip of Canterlot mountain and kept going. The impact with the mountain ripped his wings and tail off. And Nexus still wasn't done. He used his wings to launch himself past the speed of sound again and straight down onto Draco. The top of the mountain opened up and Nexus started to drag him through the mountain vertically.

As they went, Nexus could feel himself slipping out of Umbra State. Draco couldn't feel anything. The two of them started to slow down before crashing through the top of a cavern far below the mountain. The heat of a lava pit rushed through the hole in the mountain and up to the top as Nexus bounced off of Draco's body when they bottomed out. He tumbled into the cavern wall as his fur and eyes turned blue again.

He groaned in pain as he sat up. Looking down at his legs, he noticed his left front leg wasn't responding was well as he'd like. He groaned in anger as he leaned back against the wall. Draco's body lay there unmoving for a moment. Nexus could see his legs along with right arm were gone now. Then he moved.

"You just don't die do you!?" Nexus groaned as Draco started to get up on his remaining good arm.

Draco's bright green eyes were full of anger trying to hide the absolute pain. Nexus did a quick magical scan to see if his scales were still covered but found that they weren't. The hits must have been enough to actually break the spell. Nexus got to his hoofs and limped towards Draco. The dragon got onto the stubs he had for legs now and started dragging himself towards Nexus. Due to Nexus still having all of his limbs, he kicked Draco in the head and knocked him back close enough to the pool of lava that his head nearly touched.

Nexus stood over him just as he started to sit up. He drew his remaining hidden blade and stabbed through his upper right left arm and into the stone underneath. Nexus was about to pull the blade out, but he couldn't. It wasn't he stone behind it back, it was Draco's blood. Draco had had re-hardened his blood and had stuck it to his blade.

"If I'm going to die here, so are you." Draco said holding Nexus firm.

Draco leaned up and tried to bite Nexus' neck. Nexus leaned back and put his left forelege against his neck and started to push him towards the lava pit.

"What are you doing? Dragons are fire proof!" Draco said laughing.

"When they have their scales. Last I checked, I blew a hole in your head." Nexus said still trying to shove him in.

Draco's eyes went wide suddenly realizing the bald spot in his scales that Nexus had left in the back of his head. Draco pushed back as hard as he could against Nexus' left leg. He shouted in defiance as he started to rise. Nexus had to do something before he'd have a hole in his neck.

Then he remembered, his blades could go ballistic. He summoned what little magic he could and pulled the trigger on the blade. With a click, the blade detached from the gauntlet it was held in and freed his right foreleg. He quickly put his right foreleg on Draco's head and pushed with all his might. The dragon pony started to roar in anger as the heat from the lava became stronger by the second.

"Like I said, nopony threatens my family." Nexus growled at him as the first little bit of Draco's skin touched the molten rock.

Draco let out a powerful screech as Nexus pushed more of his head into the lava until the whole bald spot was fully under the lava. He writhed in absolute pain for a moment before going limp and quite.

K.O.

Well then… Nexus is the winner.

Sadly ye-

*Nexus barges in like he just left the fight* WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!?

Oh…. Hey pal… How’s it hangin?

Hangin? I go to watch my son before a ceremony and you get me in another fight!? I have a wife and kid to think about now you bastards!

.... and? I fail to see how this prevents us from entering you in fights, then betting on the results.

I crashed through the nursery! What if Astral was in there!?

This is one of those ‘moral’ things, right? Aegis, how about you handle this one.

He slit my throat; your death was painless. Like hell I’m dealing with this.

Well…. *teleports out*

*Teleports him back* If this happens again. I’ll kill you both again! Now end the fucking thing before I change my mind about it!

Um… Draco might be strong as diamond, but Nexus unrivaled, on the spot strategy was able to help him win the day.

And the OP what’s it called.

*Pulls sword*

Umbra! Faust…

He had the brains to overpower the brawn, and the… I’m not saying that.

Do it…

Metal balls to handle the diamond skin. Kill me now.

I’ll kill you if you kill yourself. Then I’d be alone with him.

The winner is Nexus….