Radio Baltimare

I sat quietly in back of the recording booth, watching as everyone got ready to go live.

"Arroyo get that cable plugged in!" my boss shouted from across the room.

"One second! Wait, wait...wait.... Got it!" I plugged the cable in and watched as the levels started to rise.

The technician watched me as I snuck around behind the booth. "Good work, and we're live in...three...two...one, go."

Wayne quickly read his intro "Ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, welcome to the show. Today we'll be, covering the recent wonderbolts tournament, conducting an interview with the mayor of Baltimare, discussing the recent influx of Russian immigrants, and discussing the recent proposal to found a new town in the desert south of Los Pegasus. But first, a word from out sponsors."

A loud ding set Wayne free. "Clear."

"Fucking shit, ass, fuck!" Wayne had a small rage session. "Damn...been holding that in since we started."

I slowly backed towards the door. Immediately hit by the door as the produced trotted in. "Hey I need somebody to head to Manehatten, who's free!?" she swung her head around the room, finding everyone working, aside from me. "Hey you, you're not doing anything important right?"

I let out a rough cough. "Well I-"

"Perfect, I need you to meet someone in Manehatten. Normally I'd send a someone who knows what there doing, but you're just picking someone up. That...and I like your mustache." she poked my stomach with a hoof.

I took a step back, they way she spoke always through my off, so fast paced it was hard to follow her train of thought. "Um thanks? So what am I doing?"

She bopped herself with her hoof. "Head to Manehatten, find a pony named Coco Pommel and Pressed Suit, they agreed to come on the show and talk about fashion or something."

I felt like falling over. "Can't they-"

"Eh- quiet you. We're professionals and I wanted them escorted straight here! Hmm...get ready, I'll meet you at the front doors with the plans." our producer ran out of the room. Everyone, pony and human, watched her leave.

"What a loon." one of the pony techs mumbled as he checked the levels.

I hurried out of the already cramped room and to the bathroom. I've been working here for months and they still treat me like a no name chump. I stared up at the mirror. "Oh...I do have a mustache.... I need to freaking shave." I pushed off the counter and hurried to the break room. I nabbed a few doughnuts and hurried to the front doors.

The producer was trotting in place at the door. "Hey Danny, here take this and go." she flew over with a single flap of her wings, forcing a few papers into my grip and flying off.

"My name's not...alright." I looked at the papers the mare had shoved into my hands. A train pass with the studio's logo, two train tickets, a meeting place, and some names. The exact same names she had told me. Did she think I wasn't listening?

This place moved so fast, faster then LA ever did. I walked out of the studio and started off towards my house. A quick change into something more formal was in order. I walked through the streets, ponies and dressed up in beach clothes as I headed home. A small shared house on the edge of the beach was serving me well.

I found the house, running up the steps and to my half of the house. The place still felt empty, but I guess that was fine. I never spent much time in here anyways. I pulled a pair of slacks and a collared shirt out, quickly replacing my jeans and tee.

Once I was redressed I headed outside, almost immediately finding it too hot and pulling my sleeve up. I ran through town, bumping into beach bound people as I went towards the station. I clawed my way to the platform as they were boarding. I hurried in and spent the next twenty minuets standing in a crowded car as we headed into Manehatten.

I stepped off the platform and was immediately swept up in the tide of ponies and people. I fought the tide, eventually getting to open ground and collecting myself. "Son...of a bitch...this is ridiculous." I caught my breath, trying to slow down. I looked at the address on the paper and fought my way through the crowds and towards the right direction.

I felt like I was drowning as I clawed my way out of the crowd, tripping and falling into the door of the meeting place. Ponies bunched up around me as I tried to get to my feet. I pushed into the building. The atmosphere immediately changing, becoming less frantic and more welcoming as the smell of warm coffee filled the air.

The hellstorm of the cities melted away as I looked around the room. The description on Suit was rather vague, dark grey. The description of the mare was much more helpful, bright light blue mane.

I spotted her in seconds. Walking over and gather a stiff look from the stallion with her. "Can I help you?"

I put my hand on the nearest chair to steady myself. "I'm from, Baltimare...supposed-"

"Finally!" the stallion shot upright. "Coco get ready."

The stallion ignored me entirely, walking out and into the blur. The mare paused and looked me over. "Are you alright?"

My breathing was extremely heavy as I leaned into the chair. "It's been...kinda hectic...." I gestured for her to follow me as I drudged out of the shop, thrown back into the blur of Manehatten. I spotted the stallion and ran after him, almost immediately thrown back into a train, this time in a small box with the others.

I leaned back into the seat as I tried to sort out the past hour, burned away in seconds, leaving behind a dim blur in its wake. "Dear Celestia boy, you look dusted."

I nodded weakly at the stallion. "Yeah...like I told her...hectic." I pointed at the mare, quickly letting my hand fall to my side.

The stallion nodded. "Well we're on our way, free tickets and all. So about the interview."

"I'm not in charge of that, they just sent me to pick you two up." I explained, much to the dismay of the stallion.

"Unbelievable. I tell them to send me someone important and they send an intern."

I ignored him, sitting back in the chair and taking a short nap. My nap was fleeting, as the train pulled in I was forced out and into the swirling infinite of Baltimare. I lead them to the studio before collapsing and sitting with my back propped up against the wall of the producers office. "Just five minutes, five god damn fucking minutes!"

I tried to collect my thoughts. I had just went from Baltimare to Manehatten, Manehatten to Balitmare, things couldn't get any crazier.

The producer popped out of her office, nearly slamming her door into my head. "Oh Jim, there you are. Hey listen I kinda need you to do something for me. Nothing big, but...Pressed and Coco need a place to stay for the night, and I'm not about to pay for a hotel...sooo...yeah...you live in a house right?" I stared at her in awe. "Good, then they can stay with you until tomorrow."

I was stunned, unable to argue through my sheer dumbfound mind. I had just gone nearly fifty miles back and forth in an hour, dragged with ponies back with me, nearly been stomped by a herd of ponies, and she still had the audacity to ask me to do more. Worse still, I couldn't refute it. I've been working here for a month and they still treat me like a damn intern, threatening to fire me if I don't do what they ask.

I stood up, the ponies in question following me slowly as I walked down the stairs and towards the front door. "So...Jim...where will we-"

I snapped around, cutting the stallion off. "My name's not Jim. Now I'm gonna go home, have a smoke, and go the fuck to sleep. If you're coming then keep up, if not, find a place to sleep else where!" with that I stomped off towards my house.

I could hear the two trotting behind me as I made my way down that familiar path back home. I ignored them and hurried towards my house, throwing the door open and leaving it ajar.

I found an old pack of cigarettes and ran back to the proach, bumping into the prim stallion and the blue maned mare. "You can sleep on the couch or something...just don't bug me." I pushed out of my house and sat on the steps.

The days worries started to subside as I took the first drag of the day. I let it out, sending a large cloud of smoke past my head. "Fuck...everything...." I mumbled to myself as I stifled a cough.

Time felt like it was slowing down as I watched the sky turn a deep amber. Ponies down by the beach started packing up and leaving, pedestrians got fewer and fewer. I enjoyed the empty sight of the beach as I burned through a few of the carcinogenic sticks.

"Hey...." A soft voice pulled my back into reality. The blue maned mare had taken a seat next to me. "You mind if I...." she pointed her hoof at the pack in my hand. I shrugged, tilting a cigarette out of the pack. She quickly took it in her mouth. I grabbed her head and lit her's with my own. She took a deep breath, exhaling the grey smoke through her nose. "Thanks...."

"Yep. Shit...has...been...crazy." I talked slowly, in between stretching out and taking deep drags. "So you're names Coco or something right?"

She nodded, sucking in and taking another drag. She blew it out, letting the stream travel in a stright line away from her lips. "Yep...and you're not Jim, right?"

I gave a single halfhearted laugh. "Three months and they still never bothered to learn my name. Then again I don't think they care." I stopped the cigarette under my heel and tossed the butt down the steps. "You coming inside?"

She looked back at me. "Oh, sure. I almost forgot why I came out here...I was supposed to tell you-"

I figured out what she was gonna say as I tried my bedroom door. "The suit guy's in there isn't he?"

She smiled cheekily and walked past. "Sorry."

I kicked the door at the base. "It's not your fault...and you'll sleep on the couch..." I let out a long sigh. "Fine...whatever...I'll sleep on the floor or something."

Coco followed me as I cleared a spot on the floor with my foot, kicking over a bunch of crap as I did. "Well...it looks like a big couch...I mean, I don't take up that much space."

I ignored her and tore a pillow down and onto the floor. "It's fine...I've done it before."

She stared at me for a while, eventually jumping up on the couch and hanging her forelegs off the edge. "That doesn't look nice." she mumbled aloud as I laid face first into the pillow.

I turned my head to meet her. "It's not, but it's better than concrete." I rolled onto my back, watching Coco as she stared at me. "I'm not gonna move...you don't need to watch me."

Coco got slightly red, hiding it behind the arm of the couch. "I just feel bad...it's your house, you shouldn't have to sleep on the floor."

I took a deep breath and settled in. "Yeah well, you're not the one who stole my bed. Besides, you're a guest. It's one night, I'll be fine."

Coco slowly sank down below the arm of the couch. "Well...alright...night."

"Night." I rolled back onto my side and relaxed. Things had gone from horrible, to hectic, to calm, to slightly less calm in a matter of hours. This was just about all I could hope for, a relaxing wind down and a few extra hours of sleep.