Chapters Chapter 2: The Rare Rainbow
Chapter 2: The Rare Rainbow
“Just one moment, darling.” Rarity said, leaving Sweetie Belle wearing a half finished dress with a pin cushion in her mouth. “I think I heard someone at the door.”
Sweetie Belle grumbled as Rarity moved out of her studio and towards the front door. The place was a mess, with cuts of fabric and patterns strewn about ever surface. There was a big fashion show coming up, and Rarity wanted everything to be spectacular. Each dress or design had been half finished before Rarity had a better idea and moved on to start another project.
Opening the door, Rarity found no one outside. She peered out to see if anypony had been knocking and left because she took too long, or some young colt had been playing a prank. Either way, she saw no one and closed the door. She turned beck to return to her work and found herself face to face with a pink Alicorn with a rainbow mane..
“Hello!” Best Pony shouted, causing Rarity to almost faint, or at least pretend to. “Classic Rarity.” Best Pony nodded as she walked further into the boutique.
“C-Can I help you?” Rarity asked in real shock.
“Well, yeah.” Best Pony giggled as she looked around at all of the half made dresses scattered about the room. “I'm here for the modelling audition. Also, it looks like you could use my help.”
“A-audition?” Rarity was confused, she had assumed all of the models were going to be hired by the fashion show and began to panic. “Do I need to find my own models? I hadn't realized! I need at least ten and the fashion show is less than a week away! What am I going to do?” She began to pant and shake slightly, more for effect than actual panic, however real the panic was.
“I dunno.” Best Pony shrugged. “But it looks like you could use my help finishing some of these dresses.”
“You're a seamstress?” Rarity asked, not quite believing it.
“No.” Best Pony shook her head, causing her perfect rainbow mane to flow. “But how hard can it be? All I need to do is sing a song, and by the end of the montage the dress will be done, right?”
“It doesn't quite work like-”
“It always works like that for you.” Best Pony added, innocently.
“Well, yes, but I'm-”
“Well then, let's go!” Best Pony squealed as she dove into song.
How hard can it be?
Pin! Tack! Stick! Tie!
With the song done, Best Pony exploded out of a heap of fabric piled on the floor. Looking around, there had been little improvement to the room. Best Pony had managed to staple at least three of the half made dresses together in what looked like a costume for a squid. She ended up stitching the necks shut on two more, and had stitched her entire name onto the dress Sweetie Belle was in.
“Well?” Best Pony smiled. “What do you think?”
Rarity said nothing. She stared in shock and horror at what lay before her. Several of her dresses were ruined, and she would have to start again from scratch. Some of her best fabric was in tatters, and the rest was balled up and tossed on the floor. Her eyes were the size of saucers. She did not know how to feel, or how to react. Could she be angry? Sad? Distraught? Scared? Rarity looked for words but found nothing to say.
“I know, you're speechless.” Best Pony beamed. “I knew you would love it.”
Best Pony walked to the door of the boutique and swung it open. She looked back over her shoulder at what she thought was an enamoured Rarity, buried in fabric and thread.
“My work here,” Best Pony said with a dramatic flare, “is done.”
The door swung closed loudly behind her as she bounced away.
Rainbow Dash snoozed soundly on a fluffy, white cloud. She had found the perfect climate to sleep in, and it was far enough away from Ponyville that she would not be disturbed by any noise below. The sun was bright and high in the sky, giving Rainbow Dash the perfect amount of warmth and comfort. It was the perfect nap on the perfect day.
“Hello, Rainbow Dash!” A high pitched scream awoke Rainbow Dash from the most amazing dream she had ever had. In it, she had found a perfect cloud and was taking the most epic nap ever. She nearly fell off of the cloud as she jumped out of fright. As Rainbow Dash landed on the cloud, she looked around to see where the voice had come from. She saw nothing in the area except clear blue skies overlooking trees, trees, and more trees.
Suddenly, a pair of hooves grabbed Rainbow by her hind legs and pulled her down and through the cloud. She almost screamed, but stopped herself when she saw another pony looking at her. It was the same pink pony who had pulled her under.
“What was that for?” Rainbow angrily asked.
“Don't you remember me?” Best Pony asked.
“Should I?” Rainbow Dash huffed, looking at the hole going through her perfect cloud.
“It's me! Best Pony!” The pink Alicorn raised her forelegs in a grand introduction.
“Yeah. Okay.” Rainbow still eyed the gaping hole. “And since when does that mean that you can wake me up and blow a hole in my cloud?”
“Uh, since the academy?” Best Pony shrugged. “We did that all the time to each other back at the Wonderbolts Academy.”
“We did?” Rainbow Dash was confused. This was the first time she had ever met this pony, let alone been pulled through a cloud by her. “'Cause I don't remember that part.”
“Oh, Dashie.” Best Pony laughed. “Of course I was there. I taught you the Sonic Rainboom, remember?”
“What?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, almost offended. “No you didn't!”
“Of course I did.” Best Pony giggled. “It's all in my bio.”
“Your what?” Dash was still reeling from the idea that her signature move was being claimed by another pony.
“My bio.” Best Pony explained. “My life's story.”
“Wait.” Dash held up her hooves. “You're an OC? Is that it?”
“Yup!” Best Pony squealed. “Gosh, why do ponies keep asking that?”
“Oh, sweet Celestia.” Rainbow Dash face-hoofed. “This just isn't my day.”
“Oh, come on, Dashie.” Best Pony put an arm around her 'best friend'. “I came all the way out here to practice the Sonic Rainboom with you. Let's go for a spin.”
“Look, Good Horse.” Dash started.
“Best Pony.” Best Pony corrected.
“Best Pony.” Rainbow Dash began again. “I'm the only pony who has been able to do the Sonic Rainboom in like, forever. You can't just have it written into your character that you are better at it than I am. It doesn't work like that.”
“I know how it works.” Best Pony laughed. “It would be silly to just have it in my bio and expect it to happen. It's all in the mane.”
“What?” Rainbow asked, now completely lost.
“You were the only pony around here with a rainbow mane.” Best Pony explained. “You're also the only one who can do the Sonic Rainboom. Connection? I think so!”
“No, that really doesn't-”
“And now I'm here!” Best Pony got up close and personal with Dash, so their manes intermingled. “And I have a rainbow mane too, see? So, obviously I can do a Sonic Rainboom.”
“I give up!” Dash shouted to the heavens.
“Not to mention my middle name is Rainbow.” Best Pony smiled.
“Really?” Rainbow Dash asked. “You were named after me?” She was a little touched by the idea that somepony had been named after her.
“Yeah. It's, like, one of my kajillion middle names.” Best Pony shrugged.
“Oh.” Rainbow Dash deflated. “You really are an Original Character.”
“Yup!” Best Pony grinned, moving in to hug Rainbow Dash.
“Hold up!” Rainbow Dash pushed her away. “I don't really do hugs.”
“Silly Dashie.” Best Pony giggled. “You don't do hugs. You get hugged!” She barrelled into the other rainbow maned pony and wrapped her forelegs around her in the same choke-hold fashion she had done to Twilight.
A look of realization crossed Best Pony's face as she broke the hug and looked very serious.
“Have you read the latest Daring Do?” She asked.
“What? When did the new one come out?” Rainbow Dash was panicked.
“It hasn't yet.” Best Pony shook her head. “But I'm best friends with A.K. Yearling. She lets me revise and edit all of the books.”
“Really?” Rainbow Dash got excited, and then said to herself. “No, Dash. She's an OC. She's just making things up. No one is a bigger fan of Daring Do than you are. No one knows more than you about Daring Do.”
“You sure?” Best Pony looked coyly at Rainbow. “Because I read...” She whispered the juiciest spoiler about the upcoming book that she could think of into Rainbow Dash's ear.
“NO!” Rainbow screamed to the sky as the spoiler ruined the next book and shattered her visions of one of her favourite side characters in the book. She stuffed her hooves into her ears, trying to grasp at and pull out the words that had just invaded her mind.
“I know!” Best Pony nodded, completely oblivious. “I was shocked when I found out too!” She looked down at her watch and brought a hoof to her mouth. “Oh my Celestia! I still need to see Fluttershy, and I don't have much time. Well, I'll be there in ten seconds flat!”
“But that's...” The disheartened Rainbow Dash muttered as Best Pony sped away. “My line...”
Author's Note
Again I would like to say thank you to anyone reading.
Chapter 3: Flutter Why?
“There.” Fluttershy smiled her shy little smirk. “Now you're all settled in, Mr. Squirrel.”
Fluttershy had just finished rebuilding the squirrel families home in the tree. It had recently been washed away during a rain storm. She sat back and admired her work as the squirrels settled in. They looked so happy in their quiet new home. The entire forest seemed to shine with the little touches of Fluttershy. She made her best effort to tend to as many of the creatures as she could, and always managed to somehow. The forest seemed aglow with her element.
“Hey there 'Shy!” Best Pony shouted right behind Fluttershy, causing her to squeal in fear and curl up into a ball on the ground.
“Please.” Fluttershy pleaded. “No more loud noises.”
“Fluttershy.” Best Pony giggled. “You're so Crazy.”
“I'm crazy?” Fluttershy shook her head, still buried in her hooves.
“Oh, sweet and salty Celestia!” Best Pony squealed as she ran towards the squirrels. “Aren't you just the cutest thing ever?”
“They don't really like when you-”
“Squeak, squeakety, squeak squeak.” Best Pony chattered at the squirrel family. The father squirrel moved his family deeper into the tree as he stood in front of the knot.
“What are you doing?” Fluttershy whispered, trying not to offend the newcomer.
“Well, duh. I'm talking to them.” Best Pony stated. “I taught you how, remember?”
“Well... Actually... No.” Fluttershy shook her head lightly.
“Pshh.” Best Pony blew off. “Squeak squeak, squeakety.”
The squirrel father chattered angrily at Best Pony.
“See.” Best Pony noted with a flourish. “He said he's happy to see me.”
Fluttershy blushed. “He didn't say that at all.”
“What did he say then?” Best Pony said in a matter-of-fact way.
“I don't want to repeat it.” Fluttershy blushed harder. She moved close to the tree and stared at the squirrel father. “You shouldn't even know those words.”
“Well, forget Mr. Squirrely over here.” Best Pony shrugged. “I am so happy to see my very best friend, Fluttershy.”
“Have we met before?” Fluttershy asked.
“Why do you ponies keep asking me that?” Best Pony huffed. “It's me! Best Pony!”
“Oh... Yes...” Fluttershy nodded, trying not to be rude. “I remember now. Best Pony.”
“Good!” Best Pony smiled ear to ear. “I can't wait to catch up with you, bestie!”
The two of them sat in awkward silence for a moment. The only sounds coming from the birds and animals in the area. Fluttershy did not really know how to start, but decided she would have to say something. She thought hard for a moment before looking timidly up to the pink pony.
“So, umm...” Fluttershy whispered. “How's... Life?”
“I am so glad you asked!” Best Pony bounced high in the air. When she landed, she put a foreleg around Fluttershy's shoulders and spoke. “As you know, I was born in Canterlot, and right away my parents knew I was special. My mom is an Apple, my dad is a Pie! We like to say that I'm the Pie filly!” She saw a confused look on Fluttershy's face. “Y'know, like a pie filling?” She laughed hard at this. “Oh, 'Shy! You crack me up! Anyway. So, at a young age, I went and helped out on the farm at Sweet Apple Acres. I was the best Apple-bucker that they had ever seen, that was until I was found by Princess Celestia and brought to Canterlot for special unicorn training. As it turns out, I was the one who is born every 2000 years as an Alicorn instead of having to be transformed into one. But my wings were hidden by magic until I was old enough for Celestia to teach me. So I was taught by Celestia until she realized that I was one of her best students ever, and that she had taught me everything she could. She took on a new student, that was Twilight, and Princess Celestia decided I should go off and learn all about everything in Equestria. I started in cloudsdale, where I met you and Dashie. That's when I taught her the Sonic Rainboom, and I taught you how to talk to animals. Since then I've travelled all over Equestria, helping ponies, battling dragons. I defeated an Ursa Major or two, maybe three. Trixie was a friend of mine. I've done lots of things since we last spoke, 'Shy. How about you?” She finished with a huge smile on her face.
“Oh.” Fluttershy was woken up by the mention of her name. She had all but fallen asleep listening to Best Pony ramble about her bio. “Well... I umm... Not much, I guess.”
“Cool!” Best Pony bounced up and landed facing Fluttershy. “So! What can your old friend Best Pony do for you today?”
“I think I can handle it.” Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “I wouldn't want to trouble you.”
“It would be no trouble at all, 'Shy!” Best Pony beamed.
“No, really.” Fluttershy shook her head. “I think I can handle it. In fact.” She looked around. “I don't really think there is much left to do right now. All of the animals seem to be going about their days pretty normally.”
“Oh darn.” Best Pony moped. “Well then, we'll just have to find something we can do to pass the time.” Best Pony gave Fluttershy one of her signature hugs, causing Fluttershy's back to bend almost unnaturally. “Together.”
“Yay.” Fluttershy coughed, barely able to breath, let alone talk.
“Oh! I know!” Best Pony squealed. “Let's go to the spa!”
“Is there anyone you haven't visited yet?” Fluttershy whispered, still gasping for breath in the hug and hoping that she would not have to go anywhere with this loud mare.
“Let's see...” Best Pony thought aloud, releasing Fluttershy. “I've seen Twilight, cousin Applejack, my bestie Dashie, I helped Rarity with her dresses, and I've seen you... Umm...” A look of sudden realization streaked across her face. “I almost forgot! Cousin Pinkie Pie! I have to see if she remembers how to be random!”
“Oh, she does.” Fluttershy nodded. “But she's out of town until tomorrow.”
“Well, I Best Pony Promised that I would see her.” Best Pony nodded. “And you do not break a Best pony Promise. Oh! I know! I know! I'll throw her a biiiiiiiiig party! I gotta get ready!”
With a quick “See ya”, Best Pony bounced off in the general direction of Ponyville, leaving Fluttershy alone again in the woods.
“How do they find me?” Fluttershy asked herself. “They always find me...”
Author's Note
The crazy ones always find her. Thank you all so much for your support so far, I hope you folks will keep your eyes on this until it's done.
Chapter 4: What To Do, Mary Sue?
Chapter 4: What To Do, Mary Sue?
“And she completely ruined the next Daring Do book for me.” Rainbow Dash complained to Applejack as they stood on the ground floor of the library.
“Who did?” Twilight Sparkle asked as she descended the stairs from the top floor to see her two friends talking.
“Some crazy mare called 'Best Pony'” Rainbow Dash groaned.
“How could she have ruined the next book for you?” Twilight asked.
“Have y'all met her?” Applejack asked.
“Yes. But, how?” Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash.
“Well, she told me...” Rainbow Dash put her muzzle right next to Twilight's ear and whispered the juicy spoiler.
“Oh, come on.” Twilight shook her head. “That's ridiculous. How could he have-” Twilight looked over her shoulder. “Actually, he's the only one who could have! NO!” Twilight dropped to the floor and plugged her ears just as Rainbow had earlier that day.
“That was my reaction too!” Rainbow nodded.
“Well, she didn't seem all that bad to me.” Applejack shrugged. “She just wanted to help me out around the farm.”
Just then, Rarity came bursting into the library. “I-it's better that y-you didn't...” She sobbed, her mascara running down her face.
“Rarity!” Twilight exclaimed, a shocked look on her face as she saw her friend in tears. “What happened?”
“That little saboteur came into m-my boutique.” Rarity began. “She said she would help, I tried to say no, but she insisted. She... She...” Rarity threw back her head and screamed. “It's all ruined!”
“I'm sure it's not so bad.” Applejack assured her.
“Not so bad?” Rarity snapped back to serious. “Not so bad? What do you mean 'not so bad'! That-that little miss perfect destroyed my dresses and ruined my fabric. I'll never finish in time for the show!”
“How many dresses do you need?” Twilight asked.
“At least six.” rarity hiccoughed.
“That's nothing to you!” Rainbow Dash assured her. “I've seen you make six dresses in one day. You have just under a week, you'll be fine.”
“But.” Rarity put a hoof to her forehead. “What if she comes back to wreak havoc on my work again!”
“I'm sure she just needs a good talking to.” Applejack nodded. “she'll come around.”
“Good luck with that.” Fluttershy whispered, stepping out from the bookshelf.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight asked. “How long have you been here?”
“The whole time.” Fluttershy lowered her head, draping her pink mane over her face.
“More importantly, what d'you mean, good luck?” Applejack enquired.
“She doesn't really listen to reason.” Fluttershy shook her head. “Or anything else anypony says.”
“Okay, so we've all had some weird run-ins with Best Pony.” Twilight reasoned. “But do any of us actually know anything about her?”
“She's an OC.” Applejack stated.
“Oh.” Twilight and Rarity said in unison. “That explains a lot.”
“Why?” Fluttershy asked, confused by what had just been said. “What's an OC?”
“Sugar cube.” Applejack walked over to Fluttershy and looked her in the eye. “An OC is a pony like us. The only difference is that, instead of being born, they just appear one day. Nopony is really sure where they come from. But when they do appear, they have a knowledge of our entire world, and apparently have an entire life's experience already under their belt. Some are hard to pick out, they blend in like you and me. They're really hard to spot. But others stick out like a sore thumb, whatever that is. Our new 'bestie', Best Pony falls into that category.”
“Hold on.” Twilight said with a sudden realization. “I did some reading into this sort of thing. I read somewhere that a pony like Best Pony is called a Mary Sue.”
“A what now?” Applejack asked.
“A Mary Sue.” Twilight explained. “In there 'bios' they are perfect, better than perfect in fact. They normally have some kind of relation to a main group of ponies, or whatever subject they apply to. Other than that, they can instantly make friends with anypony, or instantly make enemies. For instance, a Mary Sue could have all of us as friends or we would really, really hate her for no reason.”
“I have plenty of reason.” Rarity stated, wiping streaked mascara off of her face.
“There are other signs of a Mary Sue, but I won't go into them right now.” Twilight noted. “The main thing is, when they enter into our world, some of the magic that makes them so perfect stays with them, but the rest disappears. So, Best Pony still has a great voice and great looks, but any talents she was written to have, like sewing-”
“Or talking to animals.” Fluttershy cut in.
“Or apple-bucking.” Applejack stated.
“Or doing a Sonic Rainboom.” Rainbow Dash huffed.
“Or sewing.” Rarity sobbed. The rest of them looked at her as if to say 'she already said that'. Rarity read the looks and sighed. “Well, it's twice as important to me.”
“All of those things have left her.” Twilight explained. “She's no more special than anyone else.”
“So, what do we do about it?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“We need to show her that she isn't perfect.” Twilight stated, pacing back and forth across the library. “But we need to do it in a friendly way. Or she'll think we are part of the group that really hates her.”
“And we'd better do it fast.” Rarity nodded quickly. “Before she changes her bio to say that she can do something dangerous.”
“Cutie Mark Crusader Carpenters! Yay!” The three fillies shouted as they sat for their daily meeting in their clubhouse.
Due to a freak accident, there was a gaping hole in the roof of the rickety tree house. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom decided not to ask for help or adult supervision, and decided to fix it themselves. Apple Bloom had taken a shaky wooden ladder from the barn because it looked like it would not be missed if Applejack or Big Mac found out it was missing. Scootaloo had 'borrowed' some tools from the Apple family, and Sweetie Belle had found some unused wood from the last barn raising.
The three of them looked up at the hole. It wasn't too big, but it would be a lot of work for the three fillies. They started to size up all the work they would have to do.
“We'll need to set up the ladder and have two of us supporting it.” Apple Bloom nodded.
“When I get on the roof, I'll need someone on the inside to make sure I'm going straight.” Scootaloo noted.
“Then there'll be all that hammering and banging and hitting our hooves.” Sweetie Belle winced, looking down at her little hooves.
“Don't forget about the hot sun beating down, and the splinters we'll get from all of this work.” Apple Bloom said, tiptoeing across the floor as if to dodge invisible splinters.
“And someone needs to go back and forth to get the next board.” Scootaloo groaned. She huffed and wiped sweat off of her brow. “Man. This carpentry stuff is hard.” She trotted over to a mat on the floor. “I think we all deserve a five minute break.”
“Definitely.” Apple Bloom nodded vigorously.
“I'm pooped.” Sweetie Belle added, collapsing to the floor in a heap.
The three fillies laid around on the floor until they heard a sound on the roof. It sounded like something big and heavy stomping its way across. Scootaloo's eyes shot up to where she heard the noise come from.
“What is it?” Apple Bloom asked, lowering her voice so whatever was on the roof wouldn't hear her.
“I don't know.” Scootaloo shook her head. “But it landed on the roof.”
“Why would anything want to land on the roof?” Sweetie Belle shook, reminded of the random encounter earlier with a certain pink pony.
“Maybe it's Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo perked up and tried to peer through the hole. “Rainbow Dash!” She called, hoping her honorary sister would reply. She caught sight of a rainbow maned mare through the roof and got even more excited. “Rainbow Dash! Hey, girls, it's Rainbow Dash.”
“Don't be too sure.” Sweetie Belle cautioned.
“Who else could it be?” Scootaloo asked, not noticing the pink mare behind her.
“Me!” Best Pony shouted behind the little orange filly. “Can I help?”
Scootaloo was so surprised that her tiny wings started beating and she flipped onto her face. She looked up through her legs to see Best Pony staring down at her. Like a proud cat, Scootaloo rolled back onto her legs as if she had meant to flip over in the first place. She dusted herself off and faced Best Pony.
“Who are you?” Scootaloo frowned.
“I'm Best Pony!” The pink mare smiled widely.
“No you're not.” Scootaloo shook her head quickly. “Rainbow Dash is best pony.”
“Can we talk for a moment?” Sweetie Belle asked the OC as she dragged Scootaloo away from Best Pony.
“Sure, I can wait!” Best Pony bounced.
The three fillies huddled, Sweetie Belle was the first to speak. “We need to get her out of here.”
“That wouldn't be very nice.” Apple Bloom shook her head.
“You don't know what she can do.” Sweetie Belle explained. “She destroyed my sister's dresses and fabric.”
“She thought she was better than Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo moped, hardly recognizing the topic at hand.
“You have to listen to me.” Sweetie Belle hissed. “She could destroy the whole clubhouse.”
“She says she wants to help.” Apple Bloom pleaded. “And we need all he help we can get with all the work we're doing.”
“But Apple Bloom!” Sweetie Belle pleaded.
“But, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo whined, still not realizing that anyone had said anything.
“It's final.” Apple Bloom decided. “Besides, we can't just turn down ponies. The Cutie Mark Crusaders are all-inclusive.”
“That's not what that means.” Sweetie Belle muttered, and Apple Bloom gave her a look. “Fine... She can help. But don't say I didn't warn you.”
“You guys are the best!” Best Pony squealed, having joined the huddle.
“You said you'd wait.” Apple Bloom frowned.
“I did.” Best Pony nodded. “For about ten seconds. Then I got bored. You guys looked like you were having a ton of fun! So, what am I helping you fillies with?”
“We need to patch the roof.” Apple Bloom stated with authority. “D'you know how to do that?”
“Of course I do.” Best Pony nodded. “I worked this farm when I was your age.”
“Really?” Apple Bloom asked excitedly.
“Yeah!” Best Pony bounced, almost putting another hole in the roof.
“This is going to be a long job...” Sweetie Belle shook her head.
“Maybe she's like us.” Apple Bloom whispered to Sweetie Belle. “Maybe she doesn't know what she's good at.”
“I'll give you a hint.” Best Pony whispered in Sweetie Belle's other ear. “I'm good at everything. It's in my bio, I swear.”
Author's Note
This can only get worse for everyone. It's in her bio, I swear!
Chapter 5: Nailed It!
Best Pony took a bucket of nails in her mouth and flapped her way to the roof of the little house. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom went off to grab the first few planks, leaving Sweetie Belle to supervise Best Pony. Before anything could be done, the peppy pink pony started hammering nails into the roof. The sharp, silver tips poked out from the ceiling, causing Sweetie Belle to run outside to see what Best Pony was doing.
“What are you doing?” Sweetie Belle shouted to the roof. “Why are you hammering nails into the roof?”
“I'm putting down a base coat.” Best Pony smiled broadly over the side of the little roof, still hammering away at nails with her hooves.
“You don't put a base coat down with nails!” Sweetie Belle shook her head madly. “That's with hoof polish or paints.”
“Obviously you aren't an Apple.” Best Pony giggled. “Every Apple knows that when working on a house, you need a good foundation.”
“Well, I'm not an Apple.” Sweetie Belle sighed. “But it still doesn't seem like-”
“Everything will be fine!” Best Pony grinned. “Now, pass me the glue. I'm all out of nails.”
“So, have y'all figured out a way to talk to Best Pony?” Applejack asked.
Twilight had her face buried in a book about conflict resolution. Fluttershy was in the woods, tending to her little furry friends. Rarity had returned to the boutique to mend and restart her dresses, and Rainbow Dash was lying on a cloud she had dragged into the library and barricaded behind stacks of encyclopedias. She was curled up with the old Daring Do books held tight to her chest.
“It's okay.” She whispered to herself. “It's not true. It's a made up spoiler from a made up pony. It's not true.” Rainbow Dash willed herself to open up the first book that she saw and flipped to a random page. “Aah! It was him!” Rainbow screamed to the sky as she threw her favourite book against the wall of her encyclopedia fortress.
The pile of heavy old books toppled to the ground, leaving Rainbow Dash blushing at her two friends who were staring back at her. One of the books Rainbow had been using slid over to Twilight, who picked it up.
“Why were you using my encyclopedias as a barricade?” Twilight enquired, reading the cover of the heavy book.
“Because encyclopedias are big and heavy.” Rainbow shrugged. “And nopony ever uses them for anything else.”
“Yeah, sugar cube.” Applejack looked down at the piles of books now all over the floor. “But I think she was asking why you were using them specifically as a wall.”
“Last time I found a cloud as perfect as this,” Rainbow Dash explained, “Best Pony came out of nowhere and blew a hole in it. I want to keep this one safe.”
“And you think books can keep her out?” Applejack shook her head. “Rainbow, she can fly, jump, and sing her way into almost anything. I wouldn't be surprised if she could shoot laser beams that turn things into cotton candy. Books have nothing on her.”
Twilight interrupted. “I think I may have found a way to convince Best Pony that she isn't as perfect as she thinks.”
“Well?” Applejack asked. “What is it, sugar cube, don't leave us hanging.”
“I just put it all together, I think.” Twilight hummed. “It was in one of the books I put-” She looked down at the floor now covered in books about facts and history thanks to Rainbow. “Over there... I think...”
Applejack sighed. “Well, let's get digging.”
The three mares began sifting through the pile of various texts, hoping to find the right one. Twilight would occasionally find one she thought was right, and turn through the pages. Unsatisfied, she would close up the book and stack it neatly next to her. While Applejack was pulling up book after book, she suddenly felt a catch. Not being one to give up without a fight, she tugged hard on whatever was stuck under the books. Eventually, whatever had been holding itself down came flying out of the stack of books. Something pink.
“It's her!” Rainbow immediately ran over to her cloud and began trying to hide it behind the fallen books.
“Hey guys!” The pink pony giggled. “What's up?”
“Not another one!” Rainbow Dash growled. “You are not putting a hole in another one of my favourite clouds. No way, no- Pinkie Pie?”
“Yup!” Pinkie bounced like a spring towards the ceiling.
“We thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow.” Twilight scratched her head. “What brought you back.”
“A plot device.” Pinkie shrugged, looking around at the pile of books. “Are we having a book fort building contest?” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly. “Ooh! Ooh! I wanna play!” She buzzed around the room, picking up books and piling them up in an odd shape. Eventually, it came together into a beautiful castle made out of books. “I win!” Pinkie declared, panting from the run.
“That's...” Applejack though of what to say. “That's real nice, sugar cube.”
“Thanks!” Pinkie squealed.
“Pinkie, thank Celestia you are back.” Twilight said, walking over to greet her pink friend. “There's been some stuff going on, and we think that you can help.”
“Let me guess.” Pinkie took a deep breath. “There's an OC who just so happens to be perfect in every way, and she's going around town trying to do things that she really can't in a hilarious and silly ways that end up getting people mad at her, but they don't want to say anything because they don't want to offend her. Am I close?”
Twilight gave Pinkie a startled look.
“Drat, let me try again.” Pinkie took a deeper breath. “There's a cabbage, a fire hose, and an assortment of assorted fruit baskets with a goat whose allergic to-”
“Hold up, there.” Applejack put a hoof over Pinkie's mouth. “You had it the first time.”
“Cool!” Pinkie bounced. “So, what's the matter?”
“Well, you hit the OC problem on the head.” Twilight nodded. “She really wants to see you again. But again is actually the first time, unless you listen to her bio which says she's either related to, or knows us somehow. She's been making some pretty big claims and assumptions that just aren't true.”
“So, what do you want me to do?” Pinkie cocked her head, her messy mane flopping to one side.
“Well, I'd like you to meet with her, first of all.” Twilight began, pacing back and forth as she always did. “I want you to just be yourself. Afterwards, I want to talk to you and find out what she says.”
“How will that help, though?” Applejack asked.
“She may say some things you know aren't true.” Twilight stated. “I just want you to smile and nod at the claims. I want to find out the last few details so we have her complete story. Then I can assess what we can do from there. But first...” Twilight looked around at the messy state of the library. “We need to find that book.”
“I was afraid you were gonna say that.” Applejack groaned, moving back into the landslide of books.
“I'm gonna go find the OC.” Pinkie Pie bounced towards the door. “What did you say her name was?”
“Let her tell you that.” Twilight smirked. “It's part of the surprise.”
Author's Note
Oooooooooh, here we go! Pinkie's right in the thick of it! Can't wait to see what happens next!
Chapter 6: Pinkie Sue!
Pinkie Pie bounded up to the Cutie Mark Crusaders' tree house. It seemed quiet enough, and everything seemed to be in order. There were a few boards strewn across the lawn, but other than that, the place looked great. Pinkie could not see the roof from where she was, but if she had been able to, she would have seen the hole allowing light into the tiny clubhouse.
“Anypony home?” Pinkie Pie called over to the house. The only reply was the sound of something falling inside.
Being curious, Pinkie hopped over to the tree house and tried to peer inside, not wanting to intrude. Pinkie heard a muffled voice from inside, and her curiosity peaked. Doing her best to see inside without looking inside, she bounced to the height of one of the windows and tried to see what lay within. She saw the colours pink, orange, purple, yellow and white.
“Can I come in?” Pinkie asked loudly, hoping someone could hear her. She heard a muffled shout and assumed she had antagonized whoever was in the clubhouse. “Sorry! I didn't mean to bother you, I'm just looking for somepony who said she was looking for me.” Another muffled shout came through the walls, and the sound of someone falling. The whole structure shuttered. Fearing the worst, Pinkie decided it was her duty to find out what had happened.
Pinkie bounced up to the landing of the old house in the tree, and made her way around to the door. Pushing with all of her might, Pinkie couldn't get the door open. She decided that now was not the time for delicacy as she slammed into the door. A cracking noise shook the structure as the door swung inward and Pinkie fell to the floor of the clubhouse.
She shook her head and looked up to see a sight that made her start giggling. Standing before her were Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and a pink Alicorn with a rainbow mane all standing close together, rather uncomfortably. The pink one had her forelegs around the three fillies in a back-shattering embrace, but none of them were moving. Pinkie looked around the room to see that everything was coated in a transparent film.
Pinkie Pie took a deep breath and smelled the air. “Glue!” She exclaimed, remembering the smell of glue from her childhood. “White School glue, my favourite!” The mare and four fillies were still standing in their uncomfortable hug as it became apparent to Pinkie what had happened, and she began to laugh uncontrollably. “You got covered in glue!” Pinkie rolled on the floor before the idea of helping them came to mind. “I'll be right back!”
She took off running towards the nearest body of water, which happened to be a small pond. She waded in up to her chest and sunk her head beneath the water. Coming up, she had her mouth full of pond water. Pinkie Pie barrelled back to the clubhouse and jumped through the door. She smiled widely, showing the four ponies in the tree house her expanded cheeks so they would get the idea. On the silent count of three, Pinkie Pie spewed the pond water all over the tree house, coating everything inside. Slowly, the glue dissolved, and the other pink mare released the three fillies from the tight hug.
“What happened?” Pinkie asked, still giggling a little.
“We were trying to fix the roof.” Apple Bloom coughed, apparently having gotten some glue in her mouth. “And all the nails got used up putting down a foundation, so she,” Apple Bloom pointed a hoof at Best Pony, “decided that glue would work. It sounded like a good idea. Glue holds things pretty still.”
“But it all went down hill when she decided that it was time for a hug and a song number.” Scootaloo shook her head, glue still holding her mane firmly in place.
“Her tail was in the bucket, and when she came down for the hug-” Sweetie Belle made a splashing and crashing noise with her mouth and struck a pose with the other Crusaders.
Pinkie Pie erupted in giggles again. Scootaloo tried to un-stick her mane, making an unsettling crunching noise as it bent over. Sweetie Belle turned to where Best Pony had been standing, but she was gone. Assuming she had gone, Sweetie Belle sighed, relieved that they could get back to work on fixing the roof. Pinkie Pie wiped tears from her eyes and looked up into what she thought was a mirror on the wall before her. She saw only pink, pink and more pink, with two blue eyes staring back at her. Pinkie moved left, and the head moved to mirror her. She blinked, as did the other eyes. She looked up, expecting to see her mane, and instead saw a rainbow.
“Augh!” Pinkie squealed. “What happened to my mane? Since when did I come in rainbow colours?” She reached up and touched her cotton candy mane, to see it was still pink. Pinkie sighed and returned to the mirror. “Augh! It's rainbow again!” Reaching up and rubbing her mane, she found it to still be pink. Pinkie looked over to the Crusaders in amazement. “When did you three fillies get a magic mirror?”
“A what?” Apple Bloom cocked her head.
“A magic mirror!” Pinkie Pie pointed at the frame before her. “It makes my mane look all shiny and rainbow. It's like a fun house mirror, but I don't look fat!” Pinkie puffed out her cheeks and began staring back at the mirror again. “I need to get me one of these!”
“That's a window, Pinkie.” Scootaloo sighed, still fighting with her mane, which now looked like an old paint brush.
“What?” Pinkie Pie put her face through the window and stared into the other pony's face.
“Hello, cousin Pinkie!” Best Pony shouted, pulling Pinkie Pie through the window and hugging tighter than before, if that was even possible.
“Cousin?” Pinkie wheezed. “Who?”
“It's me!” Best Pony stepped back and held her forelegs wide, as if she was about to come back for a hug. “Cousin Best Pony!”
“Cousin Best Pony?” Pinkie screwed up her face, and thought hard about her family tree. “One sec.” Pinkie reached into a nook in the tree and pulled out a scroll. She unfurled it to reveal the words 'Pie Family Tree'. “I keep family trees stashed all over Equestria. Y'know, in case of an identity crisis.”
“I thought for sure you would say, 'in case of family tree related emergencies'.” Best Pony giggled.
“Well, I have to be random some how.” Pinkie shrugged, still scanning her family tree.
“I taught you well!” Best Pony laughed, clapping her hooves together.
“Taught me what?” Pinkie looked up. “I can't build a well.”
“Oh, cousin Pinkie Pie.” Best Pony smiled. “You're as random as the day I taught you.”
“What did you teach me?” Pinkie was a little annoyed, she really was confused.
“How to be random, duh.” Best Pony stated.
“WHAT?” Pinkie was more offended than the rest of the mane six had been. More offended than Rainbow Dash and Rarity combined. “You did not teach me how to be random! I had to do that all on my own! There was one time, I decided that I would invent my own language, and ended up just replacing every other word with Turnip! No one taught me how to do that! It's my special talent! I worked hard on that!”
“Chill out, Pinkie.” Best Pony laughed. “I won't tell if you don't.”
“There is no way. Just no way to teach anypony how to be random.” Pinkie huffed.
“That's why I'm so good at it.” Best Pony shook her head, still giggling. “I am so good at being random and fun that I'm to only pony who can actually teach it.”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo called from inside the clubhouse. “Glue is FUN!” The sound of Scootaloo ramming her head against a wall to break her mane out of the glue shook the tree.
“Cutie Mark Crusader Paramedics! Yay!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shouted.
“Ooh!” Pinkie Pie and Best Pony squealed. “I wanna play!”
"But, first." Best Pony grabbed Pinkie Pie by the shoulders. "We have some catching up to do!"
Author's Note
I can't wait to see what she'll come up with next. Where can it go from here, eh?
Chapter 8: Cloud Caper!
Pinkie Pie burst through the doors of the Ponyville Library. She looked around at the startled faces of Twilight and Rainbow Dash, who had been quietly sitting in the library before Pinkie had charged in. Pinkie was hopping on her tiptoes, trying to keep from running through a wall. She was flustered from her talk with Best Pony, and when she was flustered she was even more random.
“Pinkie?” Twilight was startled and put down the book she had been reading. “What's the matter?”
“I just met Best Pony!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I tried to talk sense in to her, which is shocking because I am never really the one to talk to about sense, and we had a huge musical number, and she didn't get it, and she said she was related to me, and I said 'Whaaaaaaaa?”, and she was all like 'c'mon, like, duh', and I told her that she couldn't just have all this stuff in her bio, and she thought I said she should throw me a party to prove it, and she left to put together a party, and I was all flustered that she wasn't litstening, and I ran over here, and came through the door, and then Twilight said-”
“Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash shouted, noticing Pinkie was turning red. “Breath!”
Pinkie inhaled deeply and popped back into her usual shade of pink. “I'm all better.”
“Really?” Twilight asked, still seeing pinkie tiptoeing like she was walking on hot coals.
“Nope.” Pinkie shook her head wildly. “Still flustered. I like that word. It rolls off the tongue. Flu-lu-lu-lu-lustered. Tongue is weird too. It has that silent U. You know who deserves a prize? Whoever put the silent B in subtle!”
“Pinkie, calm down.” Twilight soothed. “Now, didn't I warn you about Best Pony?”
“You didn't tell me she would be that hard to talk to!” Pinkie whined, trying to stop tiptoeing. “Like a brick wall talking to another brick wall about it's feelings. But it has a crush on the other wall, and it can't find the right words, and so the two of them stand in awkward silence. That's how hard it was to talk to her.”
“Yes, Pinkie Pie.” Rainbow Dash yawned. “We know.” She moved over to her cloud which was now in plain view of everpony in the library. Lying down, Rainbow Dash closed her eyes for just a moment. She felt a presence just a few inches from her face, and opened here eyes to see blue eyes staring back at her. “Pinkie. Remember that talk we had about personal space.”
“That's why I'm over here.” Pinkie called, but not from in front of Rainbow. “On the other side of the library.”
“But I'm right here!” The pony in front of Rainbow Dash squealed.
“No!” Rainbow's eyes widened to the size of plates, and she silently screamed for a few seconds. “No no no no no no no no! Not here! Not now!” She tried to find an exit, but she was pinned by the pink Alicorn who was sitting on her. “Not my cloud!”
“Hi, Rainbow Dash!” Best Pony giggled, stepping off of Rainbow. “I just came for some stuff.” She whispered into Rainbow's ear. “I need some stuff for Pinkie's party. I just came by to borrow some stuff.” She looked down at the cloud. “This will be perfect, thanks!”
Best Pony's horn lit up and Rainbow Dash was dragged kicking and screaming from the perfect cloud and laid lightly on the floor. Her horn went dull for only a moment before she pulled a huge chunk off of the cloud and showed it out the window, trying to keep Pinkie Pie from seeing it.
“Hi, cousin!” Best Pony waved before diving out the window. “Bye, cousin.” She called from the ground below the window, following a loud thud.
Rainbow Dash stared at her desecrated cloud which sadly hung in the corner of the library. She moved close and poked it with a hoof, half expecting it to explode judging by the way her day had been going. The cloud simply shifted slightly and hung in the air. Rainbow Dash climbed back onto the cloud, which now had a large hole in the middle. Lying in the fetal position, she attempted to keep her body on the edge of the cloud overlooking the gaping hole. It still felt soft and cool, but it was not the same as it was before. Rainbow Dash hopped off of the cloud and bucked it into oblivion.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight exclaimed. “What are you doing?”
“I will not rest.” Rainbow Dash shook her head so fast it could have done a Sonic Rainboom if it hadn't been attached to her shoulders. “I will not eat or sleep until I set that-that Sue straight!”
“Rainbow.” Twilight cautioned, coming over to soothe her friend. “Don't do something you'll regret later.”
“There is nothing.” Rainbow declared. “Nothing I can do that I will regret. If it means avenging Sir Cloudington the second-”
“Sir Cloudington the second?” Twilight asked, a little disturbed.
“-Then I will do it, and I will do it now!” Rainbow shouted as she charged out through the same window that the pink mare had dove out of just a moment before.
Twilight sat there, confused and weirded out by what she had seen and heard. The library was quiet now, and she decided it would be a good time to get back to the books. She saw a book fall from one of the shelves and went to investigate. It was one of her favourites, and she took care in carrying it back to the shelf. Twilight Sparkle was about to reinsert the book when she saw the face of Pinkie Pie staring back at her from the hole the book would fill. She dropped the book with surprise and fell onto her back.
“What are you doing up there?” Twilight asked as she quickly looked her book over for any damage.
“Is she gone?” Pinkie asked cautiously.
“Who?” Twilight looked up.
“Best Pony.” Pinkie poked her head out from the shelf, dropping more books on the floor.
“Pinkie.” Twilight shook her head. “You shouldn't hide from people you don't like.”
“I wasn't hiding.” Pinkie defended, shaking her head and knocking more books out. “She is planning a party for me, and I don't want to know anything about it until the big day.”
“I guess that's fair.” Twilight nodded, gathering up the books that had accumulated on the floor.
“It's a fair?” Pinkie squealed, falling out of the book shelf. “Twilight! Spoilers! I didn't know my party was going to be a fair!”
“No, I mean that-”
“I better get out of here.” Pinkie bounced towards the door. “You should probably find a book on keeping secrets. Remember what happened last time you couldn't keep a secret?”
“I ended up almost losing friends?” Twilight sighed, still grasping at books.
“Nope.” Pinkie shook her head. “You told me that my party was a fair. With balloons and cotton candy and clowns and everything.”
“I never told you any of that.” Twilight groaned.
“It was implied.” Pinkie shrugged.
“Pinkie, it isn't a fair.” Twilight shook her head.
“It's no use, Twilight.” Pinkie smiled. “But I understand. You're trying in vane to convince me that you didn't just reveal a big, fat, juicy secret.”
“Let's get off of this topic.” Twilight replaced the books in perfect order. “What were your personal thoughts on Best Pony? I already knew she was hard to talk to, but what else can you tell me about your chat?”
“Oh, it was so difficult.” Pinkie deflated, coming back into the library. “Do you know what it's like? Talking to a pony who bounces around all over the place, randomly breaks into song, and-” Pinkie Pie pulled out a megaphone, “RANDOMLY SCREAMS EVERYTHING?”
“I've had some experience.” Twilight rubbed her head.
“Twilight.” Pinkie begged. “What are we gonna do?”
“Don't worry about a thing.” Twilight assured. “We just have to wait until the party, and we should all be able to work this out. Who knows. You may even like Best Pony afterwards.”
Author's Note
Poor Rainbow Dash! I wonder if this party's gonna be a blast, or a bust. Let's just wait and see!
Chapter 9: Call A Spade A Trowel
Chapter 9: Call A Spade A Trowel
Applejack was hard at work again, bucking her way through the orchard. Stopping for a momentary break to wipe sweat off of her brow, Applejack cracked a few joints. She turned back to her work, only to find-
“Best Pony.” Applejack sighed. “How can I help you?”
“I just need the barn.” Best Pony stated.
“That all?” Applejack raised an eyebrow.
“Yup.” Best Pony nodded.
“You won't come out here and ask me for anything else?” Applejack shook her head.
“Nope.” Best Pony nodded. “Or, yup? I'm not sure which makes a positive-er negative?”
“Just nod.” Applejack groaned.
Best Pony nodded.
“Good.” Applejack looked over her shoulder. “Because I've got a lot of work to get done around here, and I can't deal with a lot of interruptions. So unless you really need something, I'll be out here bucking 'til my heart gives out.” With that, Applejack adjusted her hat and went back into the orchard.
The work was hard and demanding. But, somehow, it was also very relaxing for Applejack. It was the only time she really had to herself because most often ponies don't really volunteer for that kind of work, which was okay by AJ. When she thought she had cleared a particular area, she looked around just to be sure. Good thing she did, too. There was one tree she had almost missed, just on the other side of the pathway.
“How could I have missed you?” Applejack asked the tree as she started galloping towards it. Just as she was about to buck it, Best Pony came out of nowhere right behind her. Applejack froze, not wanting to buck the Alicorn in the face, but also not wanting to fall flat on hers. She teetered for a moment on her forelegs before losing her balance and landing flat on her rear.
“Plot twist!” Best Pony declared. “Turns out, there's all of this farm equipment in the barn. What do I do with this?” Best Pony held out a couple tools.
“Whenever we throw shindigs in the barn, we either move all of the equipment outside, or just off to either side of the barn.” Applejack explained, peeking over Best Pony's shoulder to see the glistening apples on the tree behind her.
“Okay!” Best Pony squealed as she shot away.
Applejack sighed. “Round two.” She backed away from the tree and got a running start again, the wind blowing through her mane. She raised her forelegs to buck-
“What's this?” Best Pony appeared again, right in front of the tree. Applejack fell as she had before, making a loud thump.
“What's what?” Applejack groaned, rubbing her backside.
“This.” Best Pony held out a gardening tool with a long pole with several teeth at one end.
“That's a rake.” Applejack stated flatly, standing back up to buck.
“Okay!” Best Pony galloped away in a flash of colour.
“Round three.” Applejack backed away, pausing to be sure that no pony was coming from any direction to get in the way. She charged at the tree, but before she could even raise a hoof to buck, Best Pony was in her path, and Applejack tripped over her own forelegs and fell flat on her face.
“What's this?” Best Pony asked, now holding a small shovel.
“Mph.” Applejack grunted, her face still buried in the dirt.
Best Pony tapped Applejack on the head. “Need a hand, cousin?”
Applejack raised her head, spat out some dirt and finally answered. “It's a spade.”
“Are you sure?” Best Pony looked the tool over. “It looks like a small shovel.”
“That's what a spade is.” Applejack sighed, wiping her face off and standing up again.
“Why don't we just call it a small shovel?” Best Pony shook the spade, as if something would fall out of it or rattle around inside.
“Because it's a spade.” Applejack spat more dirt out. “We call a spade a spade around here. Y'know, element of honesty and all that?”
“Oh! I get it now! Thanks!” Best Pony charged back to the barn.
“Round-ah, forget it.” Applejack gave up on apple-bucking for the day and made her way to the barn where she knew Best Pony would be looking for more tools to ask about.
When she arrived at the barn, the doors were wide open, and tools had been thrown haphazardly onto the lawn. There was no visible order to any of it. Some piles were big, others were small. In some places, she had just stabbed a tool into the ground so it stood on end.
“Best Pony?” Applejack cautiously made her way to the barn. “What're you doing with all the tools?”
“Clearing up.” Best Pony stated from the hay loft where she was about to throw a pitch fork down from.
Applejack quickly ducked away with a small gasp. “I can see that. But how are we supposed to get everything back in if it's all out of sorts?”
“What?” Best Pony raised an eyebrow.
“How are we supposed to rearrange everything if you just have it all randomly thrown out on the lawn?” Applejack pointed a hoof at the outside.
“They are organized.” Best Pony nodded. “Better than before, in fact.”
“How?” Applejack eyed a stack of hay bales and chicken wire on top of buckets.
“Well.” Best Pony jumped down from the loft and landed softly and perfectly on the ground. “There's the pile of things that hold things.” Best Pony pointed to the pile Applejack had been looking at. “There's the pile of things that taste funny.” She pointed to a pile of bags, fertilizer, lawn mowers and rusty toolboxes. She went through several more strange and unnecessary stacks before arriving at a pile of shovels, trowels, hoes, and other similar tools.
“This seems to be the only one that kind of fits.” Applejack noted.
“This is the pile of things that look like other things.” Best Pony picked up a shovel and a trowel. “These look like spades. I call them big spade and little spade.”
“That's a shovel and a trowel.” Applejack groaned.
“But you said we call them spades here.” Best Pony whined.
“A spade's a spade, a shovel's a shovel, and a trowel's a trowel.” Applejack face-hoofed. “Look. You set up for the party, and I'll worry about keeping the tools organized. Okay?”
“Cool!” Best Pony squealed and gave Applejack her first Best Pony back-shattering hug. “It'll be just like the old days when I was teaching you to apple-buck.” Best Pony sighed. “Ah, the good old days.”
“Can we get back to work here?” Applejack looked towards the sky. “We're burning daylight.”
“Silly Applejack.” Best Pony giggled. “You don't burn daylight. Daylight burns you. Then you get an awful tan which becomes a sunburn and hurts a lot! Then, for the next week, you're sitting in bed and trying not to touch it, but it's just so hard not too, and it hurts even more!”
“Hold up, sugar cube.” Applejack put a hoof on Best Pony's mouth. “Less gab, more work, okay? We need to get this party together, don't we.”
“Of course!” Best Pony cheered. “But all work and no play makes Applejack a dull mare.” Applejack didn't get the reference, but Best Pony did, and started howling with laughter as her pink wings carried her back to the barn.
“This'll be a long one.” Applejack groaned as she got to work sorting out the various tools.
Author's Note
This wasn't a very long one as far as I can tell, but there is still more to come, so I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 10: Pinkie Pie, Super Spy
Chapter 10: Pinkie Pie, Super Spy
Scootaloo bounded up to Rainbow Dash, who was sitting quietly at a cafe. Upon seeing her hero, Scootaloo could not help herself but run up and say hello. Strangely, Rainbow Dash did not move at all in the time it took for Scootaloo to come over.
“Hi, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo cheered, coming to a stop in front of the rainbow maned mare.
“Huh?” Rainbow looked up from the table. She had a pen in her mouth and a notebook on the table. “Whazzat?”
“I said, hi.” Scootaloo repeated, looking at the chair across from Rainbow Dash. “Can I sit with you?”
“Oh, sure.” Rainbow reached a hoof across the table and kicked the chair out a bit before staring back down at her notebook.
“Whatcha working on?” Scootaloo tried to peer over the table to see what was written on the page. “Is it a new trick? A design for a cool new uniform?” When Rainbow did not respond, Scootaloo lowered her voice. “Daring Do fan-fiction?”
“What?” Rainbow Dash looked up, surprised.
“It's okay, I've written one or two before.” Scootaloo shrugged. “They aren't very good, but it's fun.” Scootaloo winked at her hero. “I won't tell.”
“What?” Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Oh! No. I'm not working on one of those, that's for weekends and lazy work days.”
“Then, what are you doing?” Scootaloo tried again to look at what Rainbow Dash was writing.
“Can you keep a secret?” Rainbow whispered, to which Scootaloo nodded vigorously. “It's a revenge plan.”
“Revenge?” Scootaloo murmured nervously. “That doesn't seem like you.”
“Scoots.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “When you're older, you'll see that not everything can be solved with friendship.”
Scootaloo looked confused. “Isn't that the whole point of-”
“Squirt.” Rainbow Dash put a hoof down on the table, rattling the silverware. “Have you met a mare named Best Pony?”
Scootaloo winced at the pain she still felt in her head and touched her mane, half expecting it to be glued again. “Unfortunately.”
“Then you know why I'm doing what I'm doing.” Rainbow Dash got a thousand-yard stare. “She... She came. And she took... Sir Cloudington the second. He was so young. So fluffy. So tender in all the right ways.” Rainbow tossed her head back. “Why! Why him!”
“Sir Cloudington?” Scootaloo got a confused look again.
“The second.” Rainbow Dash added. “The first was taken brutally from me this morning when she first came around. I thought the second would be safe in the library, because no pony goes to the library. But she did. She came. And... Sir Cloudington the second...”
“It's okay, Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo reached across the table and patted one of Rainbow Dash's hooves. “I understand.”
“No.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “You don't. Not yet, anyway. But you can help me.”
“How?” Scootaloo got a little excited.
“You're just what I need to make this whole plot go over without a hitch.” Rainbow began rubbing hr hooves together. “You think you can do that?”
“Boy, can I!” Scootaloo bounced in her chair.
“Good.” Rainbow Dash smiled. “Here's what we do...”
Applejack finally had everything sorted outside of the barn. She had to admit, getting everything outside of the barn was a good way to organize and keep everything catalogued. Best Pony had demanded that the doors to the barn were to remain closed unless official party business was knocking. Applejack looked up to the sky, where the sun hung close to the western sky. Not quite the evening, but certainly late afternoon, Applejack decided she would give the tree in the orchard she had missed before a good bucking. It did not take long to find, the groove from where her face had met dirt was still apparent. Applejack sized up the tree and made sure no one was coming. Applejack ran up and bucked the tree with all of her might.
The apples fell as properly as they could, and Applejack felt good to have finally cleared that tree. Once all of the apples had fallen, a pink mare toppled out of the tree.
“Best Pony.” Applejack groaned. “What is it-Pinkie Pie?”
“Shhh.” Pinkie Pie put a hoof on Applejack's mouth. “Don't let her know I'm here.”
“What are you doing here?” Applejack asked.
“Trying to see what she has planned.” Pinkie whispered.
“I thought you wanted it to be a surprise.” Applejack cocked her head.
“I did.” Pinkie nodded. “But just one itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, itty bitty peek won't ruin it.”
“Fine.” Applejack sighed as she moved over to collect the apples.
“Yes!” Pinkie squealed as she charged over to the barn to get a peek.
Pinkie Pie sneaked around outside of the barn, hoping that Best Pony would not see her. That could lead to a conversation, and Celestia knows how that could end. Pinkie began to climb the walls, because she can, and peered in through one of the barn windows. She saw Best Pony digging into the dirt floor with her hooves, marking out where everything would go. The barn was completely empty at this point, except for a massive chunk of cloud sitting in the corner next to some paint. Pinkie's heart began to race as she felt as if she were a super spy on a secret mission. No pony knew she was there, and she could get away with anything.
Pinkie decided she needed a closer look and climbed through the window, hoping she could find a notebook or something with a party plan on it.
“Just a little peek.” Pinkie said to herself.
“Peek at what?” Best Pony asked, causing Pinkie Pie to jump nearly out of her fur.
“Best Pony?” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“I'm prepping for a party.” Best Pony giggled. “Yours! What are you doing here, cousin?”
“I was just-um...” Pinkie tried to think of something clever to say. “I was looking for my... Contact lens. See, my eyes get all dry if I don't have them in, and I can't see, and I have no control over my heat vision. So, you should probably stay out of my way while I look for them, I don't want to-um, burn you?”
“I know how that feels.” Best Pony nodded. “I struggled with heat vision for a few years. You can borrow a pair of my old ones!” Best Pony used her magic to summon a pair of contacts which she gave to Pinkie Pie. “You should probably go. I don't want to ruin your big surprise.”
“Yeah.” Pinkie nodded, holding one eye shut. “I had better get these contacts in so I don't... Laser the place up.”
“See ya later, cousin.” Best Pony waved, holding a notebook labelled 'PAR-T's'.
Pinkie Pie walked out of the barn slowly and quietly. Just as she was leaving, Rarity passed her with a bundle of fabric floating above her head.
“What's that for?” Pinkie Pie asked, bouncing to see what the colours were.
“It's for the party.” Rarity sighed. “You have no idea how hard these colours are to find.”
“Oh! Oh!” Pinkie bounced higher and higher. “Is that some o' dat Fiery Red? That's my favourite least known colour!”
“Your...” Rarity's mouth hung open as Pinkie bounced away. “I never will understand any of this. But I'm sure I will one day look back on this day and laugh.”
Author's Note
-This was mostly exposition. Next chapter gets juicy!
Chapter 11: Revenge With A Capital RD
Chapter 11: Revenge With A Capital RD
The sounds of hammering and crashing drifted and shook out of the barn to anypony who happened to be standing in Sweet Apple Acres. It was late at night, and everyone was in bed, but none of the Apples could sleep. Applejack had cotton stuffed in her ears, but the jackhammer-like beatings of Best Pony practically shook the house. Apple Bloom decided she would stay over with Sweetie Belle for the night. She would have slept over with all three Cutie Mark Crusaders, but Scootaloo was apparently out of town that night. Big Macintosh decided he would not be able to sleep, and decided to take fruit bat patrol. Granny Smith simply got caught up on her knitting.
What none of them could see was just outside the fence around the house. Two Pegasi dressed all in black looking over the fence with night vision goggles strapped tightly to their faces crouched just beyond the property line. One was significantly bigger than the other, who had an adorable pair of tiny wings.
“You ready, squirt?” The larger of the two asked the smaller.
“Ready?” The small one replied, a little uneasy and failing to mask it. “I'm still not even sure what we're doing.”
“It's simple.” The large mare put a hoof over the smaller mare's shoulders and whispered. “We go into the farm. We get into the barn, where Best Pony-”
“But you're best pony.” The smaller Pegasus interrupted.
The larger looked flatly but affectionately at the smaller one. “I am, aren't I? Anyway, we go into the barn where the dreaded pink beast is working away.”
“And then what?” The smaller one was getting excited.
“Then.” The bigger one paused for dramatic effect. “We open all of the windows!”
“Why?” The small one cocked her head, sending her freshly washed mane toppling over to one side, which she tucked under the black hood.
“Let me explain.” The large one quieted down further. “You feel that? It's a chilly night breeze. Sure, we're okay because we have sweaters on, and we're dry. But, the pink one has been working all day, probably has a bit of a sweat on. We open all of the barn windows, this cold air gets into the barn, she gets a chill from the wind. That chill turns into a cold, maybe a fever. If she gets a fever, she can't get out of bed. No out of bed means no party, which means we can get in there and take back what is rightfully mine.”
“Which is?” The filly cocked her head again.
“The core of Sir Cloudington the second.” The larger mare huffed, rubbing her hooves together.
“Why is the core so important, again?” The filly asked.
“It's the comfiest part!” The mare almost exclaimed. “Everypony knows that.”
“You especially.” The filly bounced happily. “You know everything, Rainbow D-”
“Shhh!” The mare put a hoof over the filly's mouth. “Don't say my name, who knows who could be listening.”
“So, we just head to the barn, right?” The filly started towards the barn.
“No!” Rainbow D-the mare grabbed the filly by her sweater and dragged her back. “We need to go out into the orchard and make our way back.”
“Why?” The filly was completely confused.
“We need to make sure we're not being followed. We can't have anypony trying to stop us.” The mare explained. “Besides. No plan is any good unless it's convoluted.”
“I... Guess?” The filly shrugged, then recovered with. “Whatever you say-umm... Multicolour Run.” When the mare looked at her with a strange look, the filly responded. “You need a clever alias.”
“Let's just not use names.” The mare shook her head. “Or would you rather I called you... Bicyloo?”
“You're right.” The filly started towards the orchard. “No names. No names.”
The mare and the filly made their way into the field, where they climbed into the branches of the trees. The mare said that they needed to keep from leaving hoofprints, so they would jump from tree to tree. The filly decided it was best not to question it. At first, it all went smoothly. There were no distractions or issues throughout most of their course. Suddenly, the mare caught sight of a light coming down the path. She tried to signal the filly to stop, but she was already moving away from her.
The light stopped on where the filly had just jumped, and she froze. A cracking noise echoed through the orchard as both Pegasi held very still. The light source came closer, and turned out to be Big Macintosh holding a flashlight. He scanned the trees, seeing nothing at first, until another loud crack burst from the tree the filly sat in.
With a loud thump, the branch and the filly fell to the ground, catching Big Macintosh's total attention. The filly stood up quickly and her wings nervously began to flap like a hummingbird.
“Fruit bat!” Big Macintosh called out, racing towards what he thought was a pest to scare it away.
“Run, squirt! Run!” The mare called from the tree as she jumped down to help. “Abort mission! Abort mission!”
“What in the-” Macintosh looked over his shoulder in time to see a giant fruit bat come charging at him. He ducked below it and looked to where it was headed.
The mare grabbed the filly in her forelegs and flew off into the distance, leaving a very confused Big Mac wondering what he had just seen. He looked around to see if anyone else was in the area. Seeing as no harm was done, and no one else had seen it, Big Mac shrugged and got back to his rounds.
“That was close!” Scootaloo shivered, taking off her hood and goggles.
“Drat!” Rainbow Dash kicked the ground and threw her goggles off. “Now what are we going to do? It took me all day to come up with that revenge plan.”
“There's always tomorrow.” Scootaloo soothed, rubbing her still slightly damp mane.
“Tomorrow's too late!” Rainbow Dash fell to the ground on her belly. “I need revenge now!”
“Maybe it'll be a good party.” Scootaloo suggested. “Maybe it'll go well.”
Rainbow Dash looked up at the orange filly with a look that said “seriously?”
“You're right.” Scootaloo fell to the ground in the same fashion as Rainbow Dash, the tummy of her sweater getting covered in dirt.. “It's the pink thing, we'll be lucky if Ponyville is still here afterwards.”
“So what are we gonna do?” Rainbow Dash asked herself.
“I think I'm just about ready.” Best Pony surveyed all of her work. “I think this is going to be the best Best Pony Party, like, ever!” Best Pony stepped out through the front door of the barn just as the sun was peaking over the horizon. “Morning already? Wow, I didn't get a wink of sleep.”
“That makes two of us.” Applejack groaned, wiping her eyes.
“Were you excited for the party too?” Best Pony bounced.
“Well.” Applejack sighed. “Let's just say your insomnia is contagious.”
“I don't know what insomnia means.” Best Pony giggled. “But if it means 'excited for a totally beast party' then I am the worlds biggest insomnomnomnomniac!”
Applejack looked up at the rising sun. “I was coming out to see if you were almost done.” She looked over Best Pony's shoulder. “From the looks of it... I'd say that it's a... a...” Applejack fell to the ground, snoring loudly.
“Oh, AJ.” Best Pony smiled. “You look as comfortable as apples in a bucket. But you can't sleep on the ground.” She laughed loudly and stepped over the orange pony on her way to the farm house. “Breakfast?” Best Pony asked. She looked around the kitchen and found nopony around. “I'll just have to make it myself, I guess.” She giggled as she leaped into action, taking in ingredients from the cupboards and cabinets for breakfast. “This'll be the best breakfast ever! And it's only my first time!”
Author's Note
Just wait to see what she can do with a few eggs and everything but the kitchen sink!
Chapter 12: Breakfast At Best Pony's
Chapter 12: Breakfast At Best Pony's
Immediately, Best Pony got to work. Her bio stated that she had lived at Sweet Apple Acres, so she thought she knew where everything was, as well as knowing family recipes. Of course, she did not. Looking around the kitchen, Best Pony found everything she thought she would need fairly quickly, and started preparing the morning meal. She began to hum a merry tune, eventually breaking into song as she had many times before.
So wake up! Stretch your legs!
A jug of milk,
So wake up! Stretch your legs!
Vinegar, pepper, baking soda, salt,
So wake up! Stretch your legs!
With that, Best Pony stepped back to adore her handiwork. She had taken everything in the kitchen, yes, even the sink, and managed to cook it into something. The room smelled like burning apples and vinegar. Not a single surface in the room was clear, not even the ceiling. No surface was safe from a sticky flour goo that acted like a glue to nearly anything that touched it. The floor was greased with spilled vegetable oil and butter. Best Pony would have noticed this if she hadn't been flying the entire time she had been 'cooking'.
Outside, Applejack was roused from her sleep by the smell of burning and vinegar. She quickly imagined the worst. “Is the house on fire?” Applejack looked over at the house, which was fine. “The barn?” No fire on it either. “Sweet Celestia! Not the orchard!” Applejack slowly turned her head to the acres and acres of apples. She let out a sigh of relief when no fire was present among the glistening, red apples. Her relief was short lived, however, as she found the source of the smell, tracking the sound of a certain pink Alicorn singing in the kitchen. Entering the house, Applejack immediately slipped on the floor and landed flat on her rear.
“Oh, cousin Applejack!” Best Pony giggled. “You just can't keep on your feet today, can you?”
“If the floor wasn't all slippery, I might be able to keep my balance.” Applejack got to her hooves, wobbling madly.
“I made breakfast!” Best Pony squealed as she pointed to plates of 'food' on the table.
“What're we eating?” Applejack asked, slowly making her way to the table, feeling less angry at Best Pony. After all, she had made breakfast. When she saw the spread of covered items on the table, she chuckled. “Everything but the kitchen sink, eh?”
“Nope.” Best Pony shook her head. “I made sure to add that too! It was in an old family recipe!”
Applejack nervously lifted some of the dish towels off of the various trays to reveal the food. What lay before her was what looked like glue and crushed apples. Revealing tray after tray yielded similar results. Everything looked like it had been fished out of a garbage can. It was all covered in various elements that on their own may have been good, but together they were revolting.
Applejack had had enough. “That's it!” She slipped on the floor and looked up at Best Pony. “Nopony can eat any of this! This isn't food, this is food poisoning waiting to happen. This is one thing you just can't do on your own!” Applejack got to her hooves and looked Best Pony in the eye. “You need to realize that you can't be good at everything. There are some things that you need help with. Cooking is one of them.”
Best Pony looked around the room at what she had done. “I... I don't know what to say...”
“Let me help you work this out, sugar cube.” Applejack smiled up to her. “What else is family for?”
Best Pony thought for a moment, and then looked down at her watch. “Oh, Sweet and Salty Celestia! I need to make sure everything is ready for the party today!” She looked around at the filthy room, panicked.
Applejack sighed. “I understand. You go on and get the party ready. I'll clean up this mess.”
“Thanks, cousin!” Best Pony gave Applejack a taste of the old back-shattering hug before flying excitedly from the house.
“Almost had it.” Applejack stomped. “She almost got it.” Applejack got to work. “I hope Twilight's plan works, otherwise, there's gonna be a whole town of angry ponies looking for a piece of Best Pony.”
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo stood at the front of the room. It was filled with angry ponies looking for a piece of Best Pony. Scootaloo called for silence and turned the stage over to Rainbow Dash.
“Friends, Ponies, Country-folk, lend me your ears.” Rainbow began. “By now, you've noticed the latest problem in Ponyville, an OC going by the name of Best Pony. So far, she's managed to antagonize at least half of you, and thus believes that you are the kind of pony who hates her for no reason. The rest of you have grinned and taken it, and I think that took a lot of guts. But this has to stop. We need to convince her that she is not perfect. The question is, how?”
The room filled with murmurs from all of the grouchy ponies plotting and conversing with each other. Rainbow Dash raised a hoof for silence.
“A list.” Rainbow stated. “We need to make a list of all of the problems she has caused in pain-staking detail. Then, today at the party, we can give her the list, and she will finally see that she's not perfect.”
“What if she doesn't?” A random pony called out. “She is pretty thick.”
The comment roused a buzz from the crowd as Rainbow Dash thought of a way to counter that.
“We need to make sure she stays still so she has to listen to us.” Rainbow rubbed her chin. “What party games make you stay still?”
“Graveyard.” A bony pony with sunken eyes and a permanent frown shouted back. “Graveyard.”
The way the pony spoke made Rainbow Dash uneasy, but she did agree. “Okay then. Graveyard it is. Now we just need that list.”
"That list will be the last nail in the coffin." The bony pony stated.
"Okay." Rainbow Dash looked at him. "Now you're just trying to be creepy. Don't you have somewhere else you cn be creepy?"
"The amusement park doesn't open until noon." The pony moped.
Rainbow Dash sighed. "Fine. You can stay here. Just try to be a little less creepy, okay?"
"Your mortal rules do not bind me!" The pony hissed.
Rainbow face-hoofed, groaning loudly. "I thought this would be the easy part of the plan..."
Author's Note
As the party approaches, it seems everypony has a different idea of how to deal with Best Pony. Who will win in the end? I don't know... Let's find out!
Chapter 13: Sue Anew
“Welcome! Welcome! One and all!” Best Pony shouted into a megaphone, bouncing rapidly. “To the most amazing, incredible, fantastic, epic, awesome, stupendous, Best Pony Party EVAR!”
Most of Ponyville was gathered outside of the Apple family barn, excited and annoyed in anticipation of the party. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were the guests of honour, standing closest to the barn. Best Pony was in front of the closed barn doors, the megaphone held tightly in her hoof as she took off and flew in circles around the crowd. The pink Alicorn grinned and landed, putting a foreleg around Pinkie Pie's shoulder.
“I did this all for you!” Best Pony shouted into the megaphone, positioned ear-shatteringly close to Pinkie's ear. “Happy Best Pony Party, Pinkie Pie!” She took flight again. “To set everything off, I will now perform the fabled Sonic Rainboom!”
“What?” Rainbow Dash screamed, stomping angrily on the ground.
“I need absolute silence.” Best Pony called, rising above the crowd. She then laughed loudly. “Now make some noise!” Best Pony took off at top speed as some of the townsponies cheered for her promise of a Rainboom.
Best Pony's mane flapped like a banner in the wind as she gained speed. Rising quickly, Best Pony kept her eyes trained on the blue sky above, making sure nothing was in her way. There were no clouds in the area, and all of the birds observed from the ground. Best Pony's mane was nearly a straight line behind her as she neared her top ascending speed. She peaked in her flight, and began her speedy descent towards the ground.
“I can't watch.” Fluttershy buried her head in Pinkie's mane.
“This I gotta see.” Rainbow Dash kept her eyes locked on the speeding pink Alicorn.
Best Pony could see the ground rushing towards her, and her horn began to glow. Using what power she could get together, she pushed herself even faster. The crowd held it's breath as she came even closer to the ground. The pink Alicorn felt she was close enough and going fast enough to cause the Sonic Rainboom, and tried to pull up. She found that she was unable to change her direction, she was going too fast. She shrugged ploughing into the hard turf of the orchard. A gasp exploded from the crowd as they watched in horror as the pony collided with the ground. Everything seemed to shake as dust plumed from the crash site.
The mane six charged into the field, fearing the worst had happened to the annoying OC. Rainbow Dash was the first one at the site, peering into the dusty crater. It was completely still, only the dust from the crash still drifted and moved.
“Best Pony?” Twilight called, peering over the edge of the crater.
Suddenly, a pink mass exploded from the carter and snared Twilight and Rainbow Dash in a massive hug. “SONIC RAINBOOM! YEAH!” Best Pony screamed. “Did you see colours? I saw loads of colours! And a bright flash. Lots of those too.”
Twilight spoke up. “I think you need to take a-”
“Party time!” Best Pony grabbed Pinkie Pie and charged back to the barn.
As they flew up to the barn, Best Pony put Pinkie gently on the ground and stepped up to the massive closed doors. She eyed the crowd and used her magic to grab the door handles. With a pause for effect, she swung the doors wide open to reveal her party.
The mouths of the townsponies hung open for a moment. The barn had been arranged into what could only be described as a cluster-buck of fabric, tables, and 'food'. The fabric was draped over from the hay loft to different places on the ground, almost like cloth slides. The tables with food had been half opened so the food was now spilled all over the floor because Best Pony couldn't figure out how to open both sets of legs at the same time, and though nopony would notice. No one was sure how to react. Rarity looked at the expensive fabric she had spent so long preparing which was now buried in mud. She rolled onto her back in a pretended faint.
“PARTY HARD!” Best Pony squealed as she pushed Pinkie into the barn.
Pinkie looked at the barn before her, biting her lip.
“What do you think?” Best Pony smiled.
“It's...” Pinkie Pie did not want to be mean, but she had to set Best Pony straight. “To be honest... It's-”
Rainbow Dash scooped up Best Pony and dragged her over to the yard, where pony's were lying all over the ground. “Hey! Let's play Graveyard! Rules are: No moving, no talking and no moving to talk.” Rainbow Dash stated, dropping Best Pony into a heap on the ground, upside down.
“But Pinkie was-”
“1-2-3, Graveyard!” Rainbow Dash shouted, effectively shutting up Best Pony. “Now, don't move!”
Best Pony stiffened up like a tree limb.
“Now.” Rainbow Dash began to pace. “You're probably wondering why you're here.” She stopped and waved Scootaloo over, who was holding a massive scroll. “This is why.” Rainbow Dash took the scroll and unrolled it. “This is a list of all of the things you've done since coming to Ponyville. “You managed to antagonize all the native animals, annoy all of the elderly, and apparently delivered six different plagues...” Rainbow Dash looked up at the different Graveyard players. “Which one of you wrote that?” A stallion who was playing raised his hand. “Well... That's a bogus story, and your out of the game for moving.” Rainbow had Scootaloo usher the stallion away. Rainbow Dash became very serious. “Most of all, though... You are guilty of murder.” Everypony who wasn't playing Graveyard gasped. “Murder... Of a dear friend of mine.” Rainbow wiped a false tear from her eye. “Sir Cloudington the second.” Scootaloo put a hoof on her heroes shoulder.
“I couldn't be all that bad...” Best Pony shook her head, causing her to fall over. “I just lost the game...”
“Best Pony.” Applejack helped the pink Alicorn to her hooves. “You aren't the best at apple-bucking, and your breakfast was... Interesting to say the least.”
“I'm sorry, Best Pony.” Fluttershy put a hoof on her shoulder. “But you can't actually talk to animals, that's something only I can do.”
“And Parties and being random are my things.” Pinkie Pie chimed in. “Though I did like the fabric slides.” She smiled politely at Best Pony.
“Your sewing leaves a lot to be desired.” Rarity noted. “But I could always teach you.” Best Pony smiled back at Rarity.
“What we're trying to say,” Twilight Sparkle walked over, “is that you can't be the best at everything. But we're all sure that you are good at some things.”
“But...” Best Pony pouted. “My bio says-”
“Best Pony.” Twilight stopped her. “You're bio was what brought you to life, but it isn't who you are. Your bio was the thought that gave you what abilities you do have, but our world has rules that you just can't break. You can't be perfect at everything, but you still have a special talent.” Twilight walked with Best Pony through the orchard while the others remained behind. “When you were created, someone obviously liked you a lot. Enough to give you as much as they possibly could. With those dreams and thoughts, you were brought into our world. Unfortunately, our world put a limit on all of the things you could do and have.”
“So...” Best Pony whispered for the first time in her life. “What do I have?”
“You have a wonderful singing voice.” Twilight pointed out. “You have a lovely mane, and all of the powers of an Alicorn. You may not be a chosen one, but you are an Alicorn. Most of all, though, you have a clean slate.”
“What?” Best Pony cocked her head.
“You're brand new.” Twilight smiled. “You're like a newborn filly. You can do anything you could ever want, but you can't do everything.”
“Anything?” Best Pony looked down at the ground, thinking hard. “But there's so much I want to do.”
“You don't have to choose now.” Twilight shook her head. “You have your whole life to choose. You have a lifetime to learn new skills and do things.”
Best Pony ruffled her mane. “I guess... What I really wanted was for my bio to be true. I didn't want to find out that my entire reason to be was made up.”
“And it isn't” Twilight brought Best Pony in for a firm, but gentle hug. “Your bio isn't your reason to be. It's what made you exist. But you aren't bound to it. You have infinite possibility.”
“What can I do?” Best Pony sighed, coming out of the hug. “Everything I've ever known was in that bio. What can I do now?”
“Look at your flank.” Twilight directed gently.
“There's nothing there.” As if seeing it for the first time, Best Pony realized that her flank was blank. She had no cutie mark.
“Like your flank, you have a chance to discover your purpose in life, your special talent.” Twilight stated. “You have a world of possibility. You never know what you'll find in it.”
Best Pony looked down at her hooves. More confused and lost than ever, she needed some guidance. Under the shade of the apple trees, Best Pony realized that she was clay ready to be molded.
“Let's go on back to the barn, I'm sure everything will work out.” Twilight guided, putting a wing around Best Pony.
As they came back into the group of townsponies, all of them stopped whatever they were doing to stare at the Princess with her wing around Best Pony coming into the circle. Best Pony looked almost as shy as Fluttershy, and was dead quiet. Twilight guided Best Pony into the middle of the yard and all of the ponies gathered around.
“Everypony.” Twilight began. “This is the newest addition to our home. She's an OC who just moved here after only being here for one week. She came here as a Mary Sue, believing everything her bio said to the letter. But now, she is a changed mare, and realizes that she has unlimited potential.” Twilight looked to Best Pony to talk on her own behalf.
“I know that I really ticked some of you off.” Best Pony shyly said so all could hear. “All right, I really ticked all of you off. But now I know that my bio isn't who I am, but it is who I could be. I could be good at apple-bucking, or talking to animals, or sewing, or doing a Sonic Rainboom, or be a princess. But I can't do them all. I know you must all hate me for how big of a jerk I was, but I hope that you can forgive me. I don't deserve to be called 'Best Pony' or the really long name my bio gave me. That would be an insult to all of you who's name is used. I'm going to start fresh with a new name, and a new identity.”
“We don't hate you.” Applejack came over to Best Pony. “We understand that you just got all caught up in the idea of being perfect. But now that you know that, I'm sure you can be a Best Pony.”
“I really shouldn't have gotten so attached to that cloud.” Rainbow Dash muttered. “There will always be other clouds, but I won't always get to make new friends.”
“I should have thought about you more.” the pink Alicorn smiled weakly. “I should have known not to mess with your stuff. Can you forgive me?”
“We can all forgive you.” Rarity smiled. “I managed to get all of the dresses for the show done last night, and they couldn't look better. I must be honest, I used some o' dat-some of that Fiery Red in one of my designs, it was perfect. I'm sure to win it now. I really must thank you.”
“See.” Twilight patted the pink Alicorn on the back. “You've already done some good. This doesn't mean that everything you do will be good, but you have done some good.”
“I know I won't be perfect.” Best Pony looked up. “And I know that not everypony will be my friend. All I know is that there's always a chance that I can make friendships wherever I go. I just need to know where to look.”
“So...” Pinkie Pie got up really close to her doppelganger. “What do we call you now?”
Best Pony looked up, down, left and right. She thought long and hard bout what the other ponies could call her. She had to think about what would be cliche, and what would be obvious. She did not want a name that made her sound worse than before. Most of all, she wanted to call herself something she would be proud of.
“First Light.” The pink Alicorn decided. “From now on, I'll be First Light. It represents a new day and a new life for me. You said it yourself, Twil-er-Princess Twilight. My life is a blank slate, somewhere to start new. So I will be the First Light of my new life!”
“I like it.” Twilight smiled. “Welcome to Ponyville, First Light.”
Author's Note
-Thank you all for reading this far. It's been a blast writing this one, but there's still the matter of the epilogue, stay tuned!
It had been one week since the pink Alicorn's arrival. She now stood at Ponyville train station, the mane six and the Cutie Mark Crusaders with her. Because she had no cutie mark, the CMC had made her an honorary member. First light took the time to embrace each of the ponies that had become her friends. She understood that ponies aren't your friends when you decide they are, you have to make bonds, and take the time to let the friendship form. They may not have been best friends, but at least they didn't hate each other.
“So, where are you going to go now?” Twilight asked First Light.
“Anywhere.” First Light shrugged. “I need to find out what I'm meant to do, so I'm going to try as many things as I can.”
“I can't say it'll keep me up at night.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “But I will miss you.”
“I'll miss all of you.” First Light smiled. “I know I was a jerk when I got here, a real Mary Sue, but you guys showed me what life was all about, and I'm going to do something big with mine. I don't know what it is yet, but I'll figure something out.”
“Just remember, you'll always have a home in Ponyville, Best Pony.” Applejack grinned.
“Please.” First Light cringed at the mention of her old name. “Please don't call me that anymore.”
“Sorry.” Applejack blushed. “I couldn't resist.”
“Will you send letters back?” Apple Bloom made a sad-puppy look at First Light.
“I promise I'll send you letters back.” First Light smiled, patting the filly on the head. “Every time I do something new or exciting, I'll send you three fillies a letter all about it.”
“Maybe you'll get your cutie mark in adventuring!” Sweetie Belle bounced. “Like an action hero or something!”
“Maybe.” First Light smiled down at her little friend.
Just then, the train whistle blew, calling everypony on the platform with a ticket to the train. First Light looked at her friends and slid a wide brimmed fedora onto her head before turning to the locomotive. When she was inside, she found a window seat on the side of the train nearest to the platform. She sat down and opened the window as the train began to roll away from the station. All of her new friends waved at her as she moved away from them.
“You know you're all my very best friends!” First Light shouted back at the platform, laughing at the statement. She didn't know why it was funny, but in the back of her mind, it meant something, like an inside joke even she didn't get.
As the mane six and the Cutie Mark Crusaders became little specks on the horizon, First Light put her window back up and relaxed in her seat. She lay her hat on the seat next to her and closed her eyes to get a little rest. When she had bought her ticket, she had not asked where the train was going, asking the porter to surprise her. She paid for her ticket without reading it, only reading the identifier of the train station, which meant absolutely nothing to her.
First Light may not have known where she was going, but she knew that wherever it was, she knew she would find something incredible.
“One day...” Murmured First Light as she slowly descended into la-la land. “I may even get my cutie mark...”
Author's Note
Thus ends Say It Ain't Sue!
Chapter 1: Sue Comes To Town
Chapter 1: Sue Comes To Town
The pink pony with the rainbow mane and the unicorn horn walked into the Ponyville customs office. A beige Pegasus stallion sat at the desk with a clipboard and a pen in his hooves and looked up when she came in. The name plate on the desk said “CogWing”. The pink pony did not wait to be invited, and sat down on the other side of the desk.
“Welcome to the Ponnyville customs office.” CogWing recited. “As you know, we can't just let anypony into the town, so those with criminal records and other undesirables have to be screened before entrance is granted. Can you give me a brief description of yourself?”
The pink pony looked up with a twinkle in her eye and stated loudly. “Why, of course I can! Where do I start?” She paused for a moment. “Well... I'm cousins with Applejack and Pinkie Pie. I'm the link between the two, see.”
CogWing nodded. “I see, well thank y-”
“I was one of Celestia's prized pupils, and worked with Twilight Sparkle on some projects.”
“I see an-”
“I trained with the Wonderbolts, so me and Dashie are like, best friends.”
CogWing gave her a quizzical look. “You're a unicorn... How did you train with the-”
The mare on the other side of the table unfurled a pair of beautiful wings. “I'm an Alicorn.”
“Of course you are.” CogWing rolled his eyes. “Please, tell me more.”
“Well. I'm moving from a place where I was not really accepted by my peers. Between you and me, I think they were jealous of my good looks and ability to make friends instantly.” The Pink Alicorn nodded.
“I'm sure.” CogWing sarcastically replied.
“Anyway. So I'm coming to Ponyville to say hi to my friends and family here. I'm also here to see my bestie, Zecora. I got a letter from Rarity to come be her latest fashion model. Y'know, because Alicorns are so in right now. Anyway, I came as soon as I could, and I'm sure I'll get the part. I also came because Applejack needed help Apple-bucking, Twilight needed organizational help, and Rainbow Dash needed me to help her practise the Sonic Rainboom I taught her.” The pink Alicorn paused for a breath.
“So how do you know Fluttershy?” CogWing asked, pretty well knowing the answer already.
“Well, I know how to talk to animals, and I taught her how to do the stare.” She responded cheerfully.
“Just one more question.” CogWing said before she continued. “How old are you?”
“One week old.” The pink Alicorn giggled. When she saw the puzzled look on CogWing's face, she added. “I'm an OC, silly.”
“How did I miss that.” CogWing slapped himself on the forehead, noticing the obvious.
“I think I've heard enough.” CogWing nodded, writing something down on his clipboard. “Welcome to Ponyville, miss...”
“My name is-” She paused to take a deep breath. “Pinkamena Diane Rainbow Jack Twilight Sunset Shy Responsibility Family Pie Friendship Is Magic Original Character.” She smiled widely. “But my friends, which is everybody, call me Best Pony.”
“Welcome to Ponyville, Miss Best Pony.” CogWing tried to hide a shudder.
“Thank you!” Best Pony giggled as she bounced away like Pinkie Pie.
The Door slammed shut behind her as CogWing looked down at the clipboard. He had written only two simple words on the form. Under the heading of “Why Should They Be Allowed?:” he had written two eenie weenie words.
“Mary Sue”
As Best Pony walked through the busy streets of Ponyville, music started lowly in the background and began to rise. Slowly, ponies from around town began to walk along with her as the music became louder and louder. Finally, Best Pony stopped, flipping her perfect mane around and belting in her perfect singing voice.
“When I wake up in the mornin', the sun rises up with me!” She sang.
“Best Pony, Best Pony! Best Pony, Best Pony!” The crowd chimed in.
“When I'm walkin' down the street, everypony turns to see!” Best Pony cheered.
“Best Pony, Best Pony! Best Pony, Best Pony!” The rest of the town responded.
“As problems come to town, I'm the best that there can be!” Best Pony called out as the town began circling her and dancing.
“Best Pony, Best Pony! Best Pony, Best Pony!” The circling ponies chanted.
She suddenly got very quiet. “In the evenin's when I sleep, when the night begins to creep. I see my bestie Luna, and help her raise the moon-a! 'Cause I'm-” Best Pony shouted the last part.
“Best Pony, Best Pony! Best Pony, Best Pony!” The entire town erupted.
After the last line was repeated a nauseating number of times, the music died away and the townsponies returned to their daily lives, unsure of what had just happened. Best Pony was still dancing as she came to the door of the Ponyville Library. She knocked twice and after a few minutes, Twilight Sparkle came to the door.
“Yes?” Twilight asked. “Can I help you?”
“Heya, Twilight!” Best Pony cheered as she flung her forelegs around Twilight's neck and began hugging her with all of her might. “It's me! Your old, best friend, Best Pony!” She released Twilight from the choke-hold.
Twilight was puzzled for a moment. “Best Pony? Umm...” Not wanting to be rude, she faked a smile and replied. “Oh! Yes! Best Pony! How are you? I haven't seen you since... Umm...”
“Our special lessons with Princess Celestia?” Best Pony posed.
“Y-Yes. Yeah. Since, umm... Those...” Twilight tried not to look confused.
“Oh, Twilight!” Best Pony squealed as she enveloped Twilight in another choke-hold hug.
“Would you like to come inside?” Twilight managed to squeak out with the pink pony strangling her.
“I would!” Best Pony released Twilight and looked down at the watch she now had on her hoof. “Oh! But I can't. I have to go see my other friend Applejack to help her with apple-bucking. Toodles!”
Best Pony bounced away, leaving a very disturbed Twilight Sparkle standing in the doorway to the Ponyville Library. Twilight looked around to see if anyone had seen what she had just seen. When she saw no one looking her way, she slunk back into the library and closed the door behind her.
Applejack charged forward and bucked against the tree with all of her might. The apples were shaken from their resting places and fell perfectly into the waiting buckets below. Applejack nodded in approval of her work and whistled for Big Mac to come and collect the buckets as she moved on to the next tree. She bucked against it just as hard as the tree before, and the apples fell as they had before. What Applejack did not expect was the pink surprise that fell out of the tree and right on top of her. Applejack opened her eyes and stared into the face of Best Pony.
“Can ah help you?” Applejack asked, confused at just what she was staring at.
“Nope. But “ah” can help you!” Best Pony mimicked and giggled.
“Did you hit your head when you fell?” Applejack looked around to see if anyone was seeing this, or perhaps to see if there were any more ridiculous ponies falling out of the other trees.
“Nope!” Best Pony beamed. “Come on AJ, don't you remember me?”
“I think I must have hit my head when I fell then.” Applejack looked for a bump on her head, straining to pull her head off of the ground. “Umm... I hate to be rude, but... Would you mind getting... Well... Off of me, please?”
Best Pony looked down at the pinned Applejack for a moment before realizing what she meant. The look of confusion on her face was traded in for a look of surprise as she bounced off of Applejack.
“So! What do you say?” Best Pony asked, flapping her wings to stay a few inches off the ground.
“To what?” Now it was Applejack's turn to be confused.
“Help you apple-buck of course.” Best Pony giggled.
“Woah, now!” Applejack stood up and shook her head. “No can do, sugar cube. This here is a family owned and operated farm. I can't just let anypony come on and work it.”
“But, AJ...” Best Pony whined. “I'm super strong and really good at it.”
“And you know this, how?” Applejack raised an eyebrow.
“Because,” Best Pony rolled her eyes, “it's in my character bio.”
“Oh.” Applejack got it now. “You're an OC.”
“Yup.” Best Pony stated proudly.
“Well, thanks sugar cube, but I can handle this by myself.” Applejack apologized. “And I've gotta get back to work.”
Applejack sped off in the direction of another tree, as Best Pony shrugged and headed off to see Rarity.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it. Yes, I get the irony of the first scene with one OC calling another OC a Mary Sue. Please make any and all comments polite and specific. If you have a problem, have the courtesy to voice it in a polite and concise manner.
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Chapter 7: Pinkie Pie and Best Pony: The Musical
Chapter 7: Pinkie Pie and Best Pony: The Musical
“What do you want to talk about?” Pinkie Pie asked Best Pony, the two of them bouncing across the apple orchards.
“Well, since we haven't seen each other in, like, forever, I thought we could talk about everything.” Best Pony smiled.
“Everything?” Pinkie Pie stopped bouncing. “That's a lot of things.”
“Yeah.” Best Pony nodded. “Like, every one of them.”
“Where do I start?” Pinkie looked up, as if inspiration would fall from the sky.
“A song.” Best Pony giggled, waving her hooves like she was conducting an orchestra.
“I love songs!” Pinkie bounced high in the air as the music began to play.
Best Pony cleared her throat and began.
I've known you for my whole life,
Pinkie came in at that point.
But there's something you need to understand,
Best Pony came up behind Pinkie, holding a bag of party things.
With balloons and style I made you smile,
Pinkie Pie had to stop her right there, shaking her head madly.
She paused to check her grammar, and quickly gave up, seeing as the music was still playing.
Best Pony started to giggle before her next verse.
I showed you all these party tricks,
You know all this about me,
Pinkie started poking the wings and horn.
Best Pony saw the confusion and tried to explain.
I am an Alicorn, yes,
I'm not making this up, though,
Pinkie had to set her straight.
The music cut off and Best Pony looked at Pinkie. “I am an OC. But I really did do all of those things, you've gotta believe me, cousin.”
“Look, Best Pony.” Pinkie looked her in the eye. “You seem like you're really nice. You're probably a lot of fun at a party. But some things just can't be made up. You have to see that it's true.”
“I see what you mean.” Best Pony perked up. “If I want you to believe me, I have to throw you a party, right?”
Pinkie's mouth hung open. “No, I mean-”
“I've got it.” Best Pony began to bounce away. “I'll throw you the biggest, bestest party you've ever had, and that will prove that we're related. Great idea, Pinkie Pie!”
“Waaaaaaaaaaait!!” Pinkie called as Best Pony was leaving her behind.
“Why did that never cross my mind?” Best Pony smiled wider than ever. “To prove I'm a Pie, and therefore prove everything else I've said as true I just need to throw the best Best Pony Party ever thrown in Equestria. How will I ever top the idea for having a Grand Galloping Gala?”
The door to the Carousel Boutique swung open and a familiar Pink Alicorn stepped in. Inside, Rarity was furiously working away at putting six new dresses together for the upcoming show. She had spent most of the day salvaging fabric and dresses so she would not have to start from complete scratch. She was so focused on getting everything right, she did not notice the newcomer.
“Hey, Rarity.” Best Pony giggled, noticing how silly a frantic unicorn looked. “Whatcha up to?”
Rarity stopped dead in her tracks upon hearing the familiar voice behind her. Slowly, she turned her head to look at the pink Alicorn with the rainbow mane. Upon seeing her, Rarity's mouth fell open and she began to shake. Nervously, she looked around the room at all of her hard work.
“One moment, please.” Rarity squeaked nervously before screaming around the room, hiding dresses and patterns anywhere they would go. Closets, bags, picnic baskets, barrels, nothing was safe from hurricane Rarity. She finally stopped in front of Best Pony, adjusted her mane and smiled nervously. “How can I help you, darling?”
“I just need a little fabric.” Best Pony grinned. “Between you and me, I'm throwing a party for Pinkie Pie.”
“Oh!” Rarity gasped, looking around the room to be sure that her best materials were safe from the savage grasp of the pink Alicorn. “Well. Um... That is very kind of you to do, dear. What can I help you with?”
Best Pony thought for a moment. “I need a bunch of colours, Pinkie's all about colours, just like me. Lots and lots of colours!”
“Which ones did you have in mind?” Rarity asked nervously, thinking she would say the usual colours of the rainbow.
“I need me some o' dat Fiery Rose, Sizzling Sunrise, Heat Wave, Lemon Glacier, Spring Forest, Absolute Zero, Winter Sky, aaaaaaaaaaand Frostbite!” Best Pony smiled broadly.
Rarity's mouth hung open. She quietly closed it and walked over to her desk. She picked up a quill and paper and moved back to Best Pony, using her magic to hold the tools in front of her.
“What did you say those colours were again?” Rarity sighed.
“Fiery Rose, Sizzling Sunrise, Heat Wave, Lemon Glacier, Spring Forest, Absolute Zero, Winter Sky, and Frostbite!” Best Pony repeated, bouncing when she said frostbite.
“Alright, darling.” Rarity began, tucking the quill and paper away. “Did you happen to date a box of crayons growing up?”
“How did you know?” Best Pony gasped, now it was her turn for her mouth to hang open.
“I'm not even going to question it.” Rarity shook her head. “I can get you the colours, but it may take a while, can you wait?”
“For more or less than ten seconds?” Best Pony frowned, looking around the boutique nervously.
“More than ten.” Rarity face-hoofed.
“I guess.” Best Pony groaned. She immediately perked up, bouncing nearly to the ceiling. “While you do that, I'm gonna get the other stuff ready!” She streaked out of the boutique in a flash of colour.
“Well, I guess I'd better get back to work.” Rarity grumbled as she began to fish dresses out of everywhere. She found one she had decided would be her masterpiece, but all of the pins that had been painstakingly holding the intricate pattern together were gone, and the pieces of fabric fell to the floor, along with a note. Rarity picked up the note and read the flowery writing of a certain Alicorn.
“Dear Rarity.” The white unicorn read aloud. “I needed some pins for what I'm planning, so I hope you don't mind that I borrowed some of yours. Sincerely, Best Pony.”
Rarity looked down at the fabric on the floor and fell over on one side. “I'm doomed.” She muttered, poking at the fabric with a hoof and pitying herself. Noticing nopony was around to see it and comfort her, she rolled back onto her hooves and got back to work with a huff.
Author's Note
I did not make those colours up! I wanted her to be so obscure I had to google "Crayola colours" and skim a list to find some that would work.
