I Can't See Anything!

Stevie wonder sat behind his piano, slapping away at the keys. The ears of the producers for his next big music video were overwhelmed by a sense of 'HOW THE FUCK DOES HE PLAY THAT THING IF HE'S BLIND?!'. It was soothing, really.

"Because, I ate my damn toe, then I had sex in the wrong hole with a hoe. 'Cause I can't see shit and can't keep fit, since I don't know where I put my dumbbells!" Stevie Wonder sang before ending the song, and that part of the filming.

"Alright, that's a wrap! Congratulate yourselves, we finally finished filming!" M. Night Shamalama Doorbells finished, wiping beads of sweat off his head. It had only took ten seconds after filming before the big star fell from his chair where he played the piano and landed butt-first on the wooden floor. Stevie got himself up with the help of the film crew, after that he scratched his ass and headed over to a nearby chair. How did he know it was a chair? Because it was giving off special heatwaves that only blind people can eat.

He landed on the floor only inches away from the camera man's feet and propped himself on all fours as he let the air into his lungs and let it out just as fast, to help locate the chair. He started to crawl his way over there when he noticed something, it wasn't a chair. Stevie was now being pulled into his worst nightmare, a black hole. The rest of the film crew jumped to Stevie's rescue, with M. Night Shamalard leading the pull. Using all their might, they tried and tried to pull Stevie up from the cosmic rift in the floor by the shirt. It took Stevie Wonder a few seconds to realize they weren't trying to eat him like the normal dusk monkeys, instead they were trying to help him by pulling him out. Assisting his own rescue, Stevie grabbed hold of M. Night Sha -you know what? I'm just gonna call him director- of the directors hand.

Stevie knew things weren't good once he noticed that he was not holding hands romantically with his secret husbando, instead, he was crushing his nuts.

The director lost a grip of the Wonder Machine once he felt the immense pain surge through him. After caring for his tender testicles, he went back to saving Stevie, only to realize that in his absence, the black hole had closed. It was too late. The blind piano player had left them. It was too much for the director, who decided to wallow in his sadness. Too late. He'd be haunted by the ghost of Wonder, that much he was certain of. Nothing can replace him...

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Stevie soared through what he could only assume was the sky, since he totally wasn't felling ground. He batted the air furiously, eventually closing his eyes and letting fate take care of him. His whole life, he dreamed of being able to fly. Now, he could feel sort of like he was, only unlike the graceful birds he can't see, he was going to splat on the ground in a bloody mess. Now that his mind was free, he thought to himself as the air pushed his hair over his shoulders, what did a bloody mess look like? It was totally green. I mean, if you were blind, wouldn't you also assume it to be green? Hell, I know I would.

This was it, Stevie could feel the kinetic energies from the ground reaching closer and closer. It was time to die, to ascend with the holy father. Just seconds away. Closer. Closer. Closer. SPLAT! He hit something alright, but it wasn't solid ground. It was bouncy, like a kids bouncy castle/palace/what ever the hell it was! He wouldn't know, he couldn't see shit!

"SWEET LORD CELESTIA!!!" The crowd he could only assume was there yelled in almost perfect unison, which startled the disorientated and disgruntled blind pianist. This all seemed very strange to him, he had heard of many very strange religions, but he had never heard of anything that worships this so-called 'Celestia'.

"I think it's an alien!" Said a strange, hyperactive voice. Stevie was almost certain it belonged to a girl.

"Don't be silly Pinkie, it's probably an unknown creature from the Everfree. They have many unaccounted for species yet to be discovered inside of there." Said another feminine voice. Stevie Wonder was worried, was his face messed up from the fall? Is he nothing more than a mere sack of flesh that looks like an alien? Stevie now wanted to be able to see more than ever, his curiosity was too great to contain.

"Where the hell am I? Europe? Y'all folks ain't seen no black man before?!" Stevie Wonder asked puzzled, he had heard Europe has a lot of white folks. Stevie was able to pinpoint a few gasps in the crowd he had heard amassed near him. Two of the gasps came from the same spot where he heard the first two people who had talked about him.

"IT TALKS TOO! THAT'S SO COOL!" Said an equally feminine voice, this time sounding more enthusiastic.

"Rainbow Dash, I don't think you should be getting near that thing..." Said the second voice, the one to call him an unknown creature. Stevie felt offended, he is no thing! He is a black man! He still couldn't help but feel worried, was he injured that badly? He might as well finally pop the question...

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"WHERE IN THE LORDS NAMESAKE AM I?!" The strange creature asked sitting on the grass with his head tilted in the direction of the Everfree. Twilight was slightly taken back by his loudness and rudeness. What a distasteful creature! It was obviously retarded, therefor, she needed to treat it with the utmost gentleness and politeness to avoid it going into a crazed fit.

Twilight cleared her throat and walked next to the strangely clothed creature, "Hi! We are the nice people who will take you away from here, this place is filled with bad people, let's talk inside!" Despite her best attempts at politeness, the suit bearing menace waved his fists at her in a crazed manor.

"SHIT GIRL, I AIN'T NO GODDAMN RETARD, SHITSHITSHIT MOTHERLOVINGANUS!" He yelled, obviously angered by his special treatment. Twilight knew if she were to befriend the creature, she'd have to be even more caring.

"Shush shush shush. There are tiny little fillies and colts here!"

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Stevie didn't understand. Fillies and colts? Like the horses? Was he in a strange horse land? Yeah, right, like that would ever happen.

"Applejack, take care of it from here." The same voice that called him a retard said, before he was suddenly tangled in what felt like a rope.

"Whoah, you're a feisty little critter, ain't ya?" Yet another female said, this time with an accent similar to those in Oklahoma or Texas. He knew just what was happening, he was being roped and taken to their evil horse lair! He had to stop them, but to enact his plan, he'd have to get on their good side. And the lord knows he'd do anything to escape...