Chapters The Equestrian Zombie War
Journal 251
We received the warrant to investigate what Diamond Tiara has been shipping these past few months. Now I do love some good old fashioned drugs bust.
Aerial reconnaissance show the widespread presence of deer forces close to the Neighpon border. I fear a war is coming.
Apparently we’ve got an outbreak of rabies in South Zebrica, and the poor folks there have erupted in panic. Nothing too major, from the looks of it, just an isolated case. But what really annoys us is all these letters from the changelings. They really need to find something else to do than flood our inbox with murder cases. Go consult a detective, not your neighbouring country.
The ponies over at Foreign Affairs got overwhelmed with an absurdly large amount of letters as well as emails; they had to spill over to ERIS. Lucky us. I received one or two myself, and I had to write back to Foreign Affairs as well as the changelings that ERIS is not a mail delivery organization. Unfortunately, said letters weren’t from the changelings. I feel stupid now.
The Mossad, it would seem, sent a case file specifically for me. Now, normally I reject case files, but when the second most efficient intelligence service starts sending classified files, something must be off.
Said file reported cases of rabies from as far as the Fillypines, apparently the same type as the South Zebrican rabies. It advised numerous countermeasures, including wall building, medical examination, use of guard dogs, nation-wide lockdown. If only they trust us more, because they forgot to mention what exactly is so dangerous about said rabies.
Fortunately, the footnote added some details; Prime Minister Heavenly Gift is making an address on this case. I look forward to it.
News just came in; Flight 575 crashed midway from reaching Manehatten. No survivors reported. The team is still digging for the black box, but early reports indicate a terrorist snuck on board. Funnily enough, the politburo authorized its departure. Bad news for any foreigners still inside the republic, Fluttershy included regrettably.
Tomorrow we open the 17th International Conference Summit. All guests have checked in the hotels, the building’s ready, and we’re good to go.
Almost forgot; Twilight told me what the Saddle Arabians said in the message. Apparently they fear an invasion by Israfoal forces. From current estimates, they won’t make it past four days.
***
Journal 251
Today has just been wonderful
Luna and I had quite the time showing some guests around Manehatten. And for once, Twilight lets go of her worries about Fluttershy. Finally some break from her freak outs.
Mossad official Warmhoof contacted me through phone. He somehow knew about our planned drugs bust. I suppose I could forgive it, for the sake of good relations. He offered help on the drugs bust, believing it to be related to what he’s currently working on. I agreed, and in return asked what exactly was so dangerous about the ‘South Zebrican rabies’
He told me the answer is in my inbox. Knew it, I missed the rest of the report. Before he hung up, Warmhoof asked for my input for the report. He said to send the suggestions by mail.
Ah well, one day off shouldn’t be too bad for the brain. Luna pointed out I had been somewhat overworking lately.
Twilight received the honors of opening the Summit. A massive round of applause followed. I envy her speeches.
The drugs bust team is waiting in Baltimare, where a shipment is due to arrive on the 3rd. Wish I was there.
***
Journal 251
As Warmhoof said, the report is in my inbox. I seriously need to mark which is spam and which is not.
The report informed me of how Israfoal failed to anticipate the sudden attack by Saddle Arabian forces during the Great War. While they successfully knocked the Arabs back, the Mossad felt a need to improve. The 10th Pony policy was created.
Basically, when 9 intelligence analysts reach the same conclusion, the 10th Pony must think otherwise. The 10th pony was to search for the truth no matter how ridiculous it might seem. Again, Equestria could learn a thing or two from Israfoal.
Now, to be honest, I did not see this coming.
A virus, a virus turning the living and the dead into mindless savages, raving for flesh, and we failed to notice. I take back what I said about the changeling invasion; this is now the worst intelligence fuckup we ever had. How in the name of the mother did we fail to see something so obvious?
Now obviously, there has to be a magical element in said virus. Perhaps it was a botched experiment from the days of the Equestrian Civil War. Regardless, I’ve assigned Serene to head the team currently working on obtaining the virus sample.
Warmhoof helpfully warned me to start taking counter measures. Should be easy, if I didn’t need to run into the Day/Night Council for approval. Those imbeciles would not trust us since we failed to win the Great War.
Now, I sent copies of the report to all ERIS members, as well as REACH, as well as a few orders of my own. It’s fortunate I still have agents working on the internet service providers. Makes monitoring feed so much easier.
Speaking of which, Warmhoof linked several web pages on the rabies outbreak. The Mossad managed to bypass the deer firewall, obtained information on the South Zebrican riots, and gathered evidence about Detachment 15. I need to hire a new archivist.
It all makes sense, really.
I think I know what Heavenly Gift is planning to announce tomorrow.
***
Journal 251
The Day and Night council denied my request for military intervention in the Far East. They opted to lay back and see what would come out of this pandemic.
Heavenly Gift made his address on the outbreak. The building went silent as we tried to process it. Of course, no one batted an eye when he stepped down from the podium, and the matter is forgotten.
Twilight failed to convince the others of the immediate danger, and consulted my help. I replied that we’re doing what we can, and I asked her in return to convince Celestia and Luna of the outbreak’s true danger.
We intercepted the shipment in Baltimare, and to my personal disgust, it was filled with harvested organs. The deer has been running the organ trade in the past couple years, and while we managed to find the occasional organs we never quite managed to convict the dealer. Not anymore.
Ms. Diamond Tiara was arrested in her home on account of illegal trading. At least, that was the only charge, until we discovered the presence of the virus in several of the organs.
I mailed the report to Warmhoof, with several bits of addition. We also monitored the feed on the internet. Long story short, a significant portion of the internet community refused to believe this case. I tried unsuccessfully to convince them; pointing out absurd situations we faced before (The Discord incident, for example. And then there was the Parasprite Infestation)
Twilight and her friends asked me to pick up Fluttershy from the deer republic. With the outbreak in progress, I can hardly reject their request now.
***
Journal 251
The summit’s been cancelled. I barely stopped a full blown brawl in the conference room between the Turkish delegate and the Arabian delegate. To clarify, Turkey and Saddle Arabia had entered a state of war with each other.
The details are a bit messy, but from scattered information, I concluded that a large amount of refugees were denied access to the Turkish border. For good measure, Turkey destroyed several critical crossings into the country. Before the delegates present could defuse the situation, they started launching missiles.
Warmhoof informed of Israfoal’s status. The country closed off their borders, but still allowed entry once the immigrants passed careful screenings.
Luna and Celestia gave a speech in an attempt to calm the Turks and Saddle Arabians. It failed, obviously.
The Day and Night council gave approval for intervention. Well it’s about time.
The Crystal Empire declared a state of emergency, despite the fact that the outbreak hasn’t even reached them. Shining Armor informed me of their preparations for war. I can hardly blame him. When two countries as close as Turkey and Saddle Arabia declare war with each other, it’s entirely possible a griffin attack could occur.
Serene’s team have not returned from South Zebrica. The country’s put under martial law, and all teams save for Serene’s team have withdrew.
I discussed the incidents with Twilight, and she suggested consulting a zebra hermit by the name of Zecora. Apparently, she has a reputation as a competent healer, and is quite versed in old legends.
While I distrust old stories and traditionalists, I can’t help but agree with her on this; sometimes the old ways are the best.
All things consider, I hope her advice is practical in the long run,
Time will tell
The Equestrian Zombie War
Journal 251
In the past week, I’ve sent ten detachments and three research teams to the infected areas. Dear mother, this outbreak has spread beyond our expectations. If the outbreak continues to spread at this rate, I’ll have to contact Captains Shining Armor and Iron Forge for reinforcements.
I received a report from Serene on the griffon research. Apparently, the griffon’s own research team managed to obtain a sample of the virus, and tested it on a death row inmate. The results weren’t pretty.
The virus enters the brain through the bloodstream, and forces a vegetative state to occur. The results varied, from a few minutes to days, maybe even weeks. Depends on where it entered, really. An infected organ could be one of the ways, but bites are much easier. I repeated a prior order to Serene, just in case; capture an infected pegasus, unicorn, and an earth pony. Oh the marvelous research I can obtain from them.
Speaking of the virus, it only seemed to infect the living. Or at least, those with their brains still intact.
Religious beliefs aren’t making the operations any better, although sometimes it does help (the survival of the Holy City in Saddle Arabia being one of the prime cases. The Turks deliberately missed). Some of the hard liners refused to fire on the undead, believing they could be cured. At least until they got torn apart by the totally-not-dead ponies.
So far, we managed to stem the reports as nothing more than a hoax in the internet. Who knows what would happen when everypony comes to the exact same conclusion. Pinkie Pie keeps getting all these new pinkie sense warnings, but thankfully, her friends are still skeptical about it.
No reports from Israfoal, but Warmhoof was kind enough to wish us good luck in the coming storm. He’d better survive all this mess; the world can’t bear to lose such a brilliant earth pony.
Can’t end this on a good note; Prance got hit by the outbreak. I think it was from a hotel room. I better tell Iron Forge to ready the Home Army.
***
Journal 251
Israfoal’s in a civil war.
The orthodox faustists refused to let go of Jerusalem, despite the very obvious strategic flaw it had. Can’t they let go of their beliefs just this once? I’m sure Mother Faust would allow Jerusalem to fall to the extremists and the undead if it meant the survival of one of the greatest modern states in the past century.
Serene’s been caught by the griffin research team. To our collective relief, the griffons were looking for a magical expert, and while Serene isn’t one, she knows me, and I know one Twilight Sparkle.
Of course, since the griffons closed down air travel by zeppelins, we had to host a scrying conference. The power conveniently blacked out before we could use the webcam.
The virus is magical, they said. Highly evolved version of a solanum type virus. I was half right about the necromancer thing. Anyways, the solanum virus definitely has magical residue, as Twilight said. This also meant alicorns are not immune.
The griffons were kind enough to capture some infected ponies, and even provided a military grade zeppelin for the transport. The last zeppelin, it would seem, to exit the Griffon Reich.
No word from the dragons and the changelings are under martial law. The diamond dogs have sealed off their caves for who knows how long. I heard the minotaurs are fighting back in Crete. It’s nice to hear one fighting effort made by someone other than the griffons.
Before I fully lose my conscience again, I need to pay Luna a visit. I think we missed a planned visit to the Everfree since this whole trouble began.
***
Journal 251
I almost got myself and Luna infected.
It would seem that I’m losing some of my paranoid senses. Of course there had to be zombies in the Everfree forest. And of course we didn’t listen to the rhymey-wimey zebra living in there. To be fair, I don’t really understand what Zecora is trying to say with her poetic ways.
We had to fight through several dozen of the undead to get back to Ponyville. And then we had to call the Royal Guard to start sealing the forest off. Mother knows how many zombies are still inside the Everfree. To be safe, I brought Twilight with me. She’s experienced in zebra talk.
Zecora told us of the ancient stories surrounding the virus. She also said she had been keeping the Everfree zombies from entering the town. On the subject of eliminating the dead, she replied that destroying the brain would do (I think that’s what she said). Glad to know that; from what I gathered on the internet, the common belief seems to be to destroy the brain first. Now, complications obviously arise; the virus is much older than we thought, and we’re somehow stupid enough not to record the ways to contain an outbreak.
Before a certain pink pony could spread the rumors, Twilight and Rainbow Dash convinced her to pinkie promise. A mass hysteria incident barely avoided by a petty promise system, something I admittedly broke before. I never thought it would be that useful.
Somepony suggested torching down the forest, supported by Rainbow Dash. Twilight, Luna, and I agreed not to let such a mass destruction of the most unique ecosystem in Equestria go through. It’s a good thing Twilight’s husband also refused, considering his nature as a pyromaniac. Thank the mother.
Serene brought the shipment personally. I had to pull some strings to prevent Foreign Affairs from blocking the squirming packages. Again, thank the mother for intimidation techniques, always useful.
Warmhoof informed me of the orthodox faustists’ defeat (and that is why the Church of the Mother is far more competent than the Orthodox Church. Take that). And he marked the victory with the full report. When I asked why he sent it to me, he replied that while the Mossad is the best intelligence service available (best my flank), ERIS is much more widespread (wise decision).
In a matter of hours, the report will be read by every single ERIS agent in Equestria and the eastern continent. This keeps getting better and better.
***
Journal 251
It’s been a while since I wrote in here. I knew I shouldn’t have left this buried under three layers of varied books.
In the past month, we’ve hit setback after setback. Detachment Ten was destroyed when the Luftwaffe bombed Hamburg, the outbreak is on our borders, and we’re still no closer to finding a cure.
Experiments with our three subjects yielded numerous data on their traits; anything short of a headshot, total destruction, or disintegration will not kill them. Their diet seems to be exclusively meat, but they refuse to eat carrion. The pegasus infected retained the ability to fly, and on occasion created small winds. The unicorn infected lost the ability to cast any viable spell, and from the looks of it we need to produce more anti-air weapons.
The test subjects displayed high resistance to small arms fire up until anti materiel rifles. Even then, they could still bite the living. All subjects displayed extreme vulnerability to the cold; they could freeze solid in sub zero temperatures. Based on these current predictions, the frozen north seemed a viable option for a retreat zone.
Despite Twilight’s best efforts, we could not reverse the changes made to their mentality. The virus shuts down normal bodily functions and leaves the host nothing more than a living corpse. The magic imbued in the viral strain allows the infection of high class magical beings, such as alicorns.
The virus, as said, requires a living host to infect in its natural state. However, the necromantic magic may allow infection of corpses.
The community of the internet is gaining evidence of an actual outbreak, and I’m afraid we are powerless to do anything about it.
The Warmhoof-Knight report was sent to all ERIS personnel, and we are taking countermeasures described in the report.
I’ve begun work on a public pamphlet in the event of the outbreak becoming public news.
***
Journal 251
We’re getting nowhere with the cure, and Twilight told me flatly that said cure is not possible, given the nature of the virus. Our only hope, she said, is to develop a vaccine. Even that is a long shot; the virus’ magical qualities may have given it a degree of sentience once it takes over the brain.
The Day and Night councils have been demanding almost daily reports on the containment efforts. I tried to explain the current state of affairs, that ERIS is severely drained of trained personnel overseas, but they would have none of it. They request a military intervention to be carried out. Apparently, a worldwide pandemic is enough a reason for us to invade our old states. Morons.
The media grows ever suspicious of the communications blackout in the Reich. It took us three hours to take down the supposed headline.
Even then, it’s only a matter of time before the outbreak hits a major population center, and when it does, we won’t see it coming.
As I said, religious beliefs aren’t making this any easier, and the Church is asking me if the End of Days is here. I replied that if it was, I wouldn’t be working my flank off to stop the outbreak.
I think I have to end this entry right here, right now. The night’s late, and I need to take Luna’s advice seriously.
***
Journal 251
Due to recent events, Twilight’s a bit mad at me. As I repeatedly said to her, ERIS is not omnipotent. Well, I have myself to blame, but still, we can’t just magically summon Fluttershy here. As long as she does not interfere with ERIS policies, I’ll let her squawk.
We couldn’t enter the deer republic, and we’re still trying to find Discord. Last I checked, he took a nap; that was at the start of the year. Sometimes I find his mind absurdly hard to comprehend.
The Day and Night council have decided to purchase several dozen thousand of the Sturmgewehr rifle. They’re scheduled to be distributed across all available divisions by the start of September.
Celestia and Luna have both given the order to announce the outbreak officially. I compromised by stating the nature of the outbreak as rabies, as per containment procedures.
Captain Iron Forge ordered the withdrawal of ERIS forces from abroad. I’m afraid said order was far too late; in the two months of ERIS operations abroad, we lost approximately 85% of our dedicated combat team.
Serene proposed the implementation of dedicated marksponies in our combat section. I expect all ERIS personnel in the Special Operations Division to practice their rifle skills, as well as melee combat. At the current rate, we won’t be ready to reinforce the Royal Guard until the start of October.
All things considered, it seems obvious that the Canterlot Government, while they have taken the necessary precautions, do not understand the full scale of the current outbreak.
I fear the worst has yet to come.
The Equestrian Zombie War
Journal 251
Twilight is officially not talking to me. I strongly suspect she’s still trying to get me to retrieve Fluttershy. I know she is a friend of mine, but still, ERIS is low on personnel.
We received the second shipment of Sturmgewehr rifles, and I’ve been relegated to desk job in light of recent events. Can’t blame them; I’ve effectively lost all fighting capabilities due to these brushfire operations. I should’ve contacted the Church for help.
Everypony’s inching closer to finding the truth, and I’m running out of ideas to stall the information. Sooner or later, some reporter from Equestria Daily would find the outbreak’s details, and then we’re all screwed.
The Sturmgewehrs are currently undergoing modification for pony use. Again, since I’ve lost political power in the council for the time being, there’s almost nothing I can do to convince them not to use normal rifles. Didn’t they get the report? No matter how many lead you fill into the undead, they’re not going to yield unless some lucky bastard managed to get the brains splattered across the ground.
I need to get Luna on my side. We’re fighting a pandemic, not an enemy country. No, this is nothing like that infection in that space war game, they’re not going to somehow form a hive mind. This is a DISEASE. Just to be safe, I think I’ll try to convince Tia too.
I’m concerned Twilight’s trying to get Fluttershy by herself. She can’t be serious; while we managed to successfully conduct Firefly back in 12, she’s rather agitated in covert operations. Maybe I can convince her through excellent wording. She likes excellent wording.
***
2nd of September, 25 J.R. (Joined Reign)
It has come to my attention that you intend to retrieve Fluttershy. While I applaud this noble intent, ERIS is currently low on overseas personnel. Aerial reconnaissance noted the presence of large swarms of the infected. I can only conclude that Fluttershy has been kept captive by the Politburo to prevent word from coming out.
Do not misunderstand. The safety of the elements is my duty, but I can’t rush the soldiers to retrieve one mare when the outbreak is on our doorstep, figuratively. We’re working day and night to keep the outbreak at bay, and panic is bound to happen once it enters our fair land.
Think of the others, Twilight. We need somepony as intelligent as you are. No, I cannot substitute for you. I don't work that well with Celestia. I need you here too, Twilight.
We’ll get Fluttershy, some day, some time. I promise you that.
-Resolute
***
Journal 251
Alright, now that’s settled, I can go back to planning.
I’m losing more and more of these council debates, and I think those bureaucratic morons are enjoying it. We’re going to announce the truth about the infection in the start of October, and that’s where I come in.
I successfully classified this outbreak as a DEFCON 1 type emergency, and to take action in it one must ask for approval from five of the most powerful ponies in Equestria. Those ponies being Luna, Celestia, Twilight, Iron Forge, and myself. The security council, some might say. The appeal comes in the middle of September, and I hope I can buy more time before mass hysteria comes.
Research Team Sierra managed to find a peculiar situation; zombies attacking another. Naturally, this new development screwed up parts of our plan, and improved some of it. We could try to find why they are doing this, and then we can try to turn them against each other. Makes killing them so much easier.
I ordered a couple of researchers to starve the zombies we have in captivity to see if this theory is viable. They’ll report the results in a few more days, and I’m aching to see the results of the test. Perhaps we might see some sort of cannibalistic behavior developing within them. Oh this is exciting!
Well, it seems all our efforts are still not enough. An Israfoalian writer is apparently writing a series of zombie guides on his web page. I’m sending in Serene to confirm. I contacted Warmhoof to see if this is approved by the Mossad. Still waiting for a reply, though.
The website was approved by the Mossad. Warmhoof also said he was the one who gave the approval. How very odd of the most efficient intelligence agency to approve of such a massive intelligence leak. Then again, Israfoal knew about the outbreak firsthoof.
Just for fun, I think I'm going to write how the council argued against ERIS being involved.
They said a bunch of secret agents can't possibly help as soldiers.
That being said, I pointed out that nine hundred and thirty five griffon scientists held off thousands of flying zombies before they had to retreat. Even then, a small group remained to hold the line. If a bunch of mad scientists can do it, how well can we do it?
Long story short, they were mortified. Take that!
Oh the wonders of deadpan snarking. Twilight needs to learn how to do it, she'll make a wonderful snarker.
***
Journal 251
Twilight’s gone. I can’t find her anywhere in Ponyville or Canterlot. Damn it, I knew I should’ve kept closer tabs on her. The bloody second I turn away, she’s gone. Such an impulsive mare, I’ll give her that.
We’re still trying to find cannibalistic behaviors within the zombies we’ve captured. No signs so far, but we’re getting close, I can feel it.
The griffons are still fighting back, but I don’t think they can hold them off much longer. The media still thinks they’re in a civil war. They’re right, in a way.
The zombie guides were, thankfully, dismissed as an alternate reality game. However, the guides are a bit useful in describing the ways to kill the undead quickly and efficiently. I have to disagree on the use of crossbows en masse, though. Rifles are so much more useful.
Speaking of which, REACH officially phased out the Smith and Westcolt battle rifle in favor of the Sturmgewehr. In response, I ordered a large quantity of rifles for ERIS. Take that, Mr. Forge. We’ll see who fares better the day the infection enters Equestria.
They’re considering using crossbows on the zombies. Of course, I got vetoed with an absurdly large margin. They don’t realize that crossbows are supposed to be last resort weapons, not the PRIMARY WEAPON FOR THE ARMY. Do they have absolutely ANY idea how hard it is to shoot a crossbow from midair OR from a war zeppelin? I swear, if they dare phase out the armed zeppelins, I’m launching a coup. Let’s see how you fare against that, Mr. Forge.
I hope Twilight’s here, she’s always better at talking to morons. Like that one time where her friends were being total idiots to Chrysalis!Cadance’s behavior. Maybe she’s on a trip to the Empire. I seriously need to relax a bit these days. Perhaps I should do game night with Celestia, Discord, and Luna all at once. Best idea ever.
Twilight left Equestria, damn it. The one time, the one time I forget to check my email, an important message comes in;
September 4, 25 JR
Resolute, by the time you read this I will be off to the deer republic. The others are with me, so don’t worry about them too much.
I know it’s been hard for you, but I can’t leave a friend in need.
Take care.
Your friend, Twilight Sparkle
PS: Don’t reply; I left my computer with Celestia.
Forget it, I’m tracking her down. Thank you for ruining my game night plans, Twilight.
***
Journal 251
Now with Twilight in the republic, I have to find her. Good job, Twilight.
I’ll be bringing an ERIS team with myself, can’t trust the fools in REACH. Luckily, Twilight’s still traceable thanks to Luna dreamwalking. She’s still alive, and not bitten. Her friends are still alive, too. Thank the mother for their absurd luck.
I'm trusting Luna to stall the meeting until I come back. This retrieval mission shouldn't be too hard. A ragtag group of mares can't be that hard to find, right?
Discord decided to come with us. What a relief, no sarcasm intended. Now we can so very easily save them all. Discord was also kind enough to provide us with a nickname; the Harmony Retrieval Team, or HRT, or Heart as pronounced. I’ll have to admit it; that was one awesome pun.
I will be leaving this journal with Luna. I hope she doesn’t laugh her flank off at a poem I wrote.
Come to think about it, I think I should rip the poem off the journal. Too embarrassing, sounds like a lovestruck colt wrote it.
Maybe Luna’s right; I’m still a little colt at heart.
A wee bit of an update: Shining Armor decided that he too will join us. You can never have too many powerful magic users in your team
***
Journal 251
I think I should leave a message for Resolute here.
First of all, you dropped the poem mentioned previously. Contrary to what you might say, I find the poem rather flattering, especially the second part.
By the time you read this, the meeting will have been carried out. Forgive me, but I disagree with you on keeping the plague a secret. The public needs to learn the truth.
I have read your concern about the plague infecting Tia and I. Do not worry too much about us, for it is the common folk that requires your protection.
I wish you the best of luck in finding Twilight Sparkle, we all do.
-Luna
Addendum: Tia and I did game night for the first time, and she used your account. Your kill to death ratio was heavily increased due to this. I think I won’t be doing game nights until you return.
The Equestrian Zombie War
Journal 251
Hi, Twilight here.
So, Luna decided to give your journal to me first. And, well, I decided to leave this sticky note here.
I know you’re angry at me right now. I just want to say I’m sorry here. Really, really sorry.
I didn’t read your journal. Really, I didn’t.
Since you’re not on speaking terms with me, I want to say thank you too. We wouldn’t have made it out of the Lu Republic without your help.
-Twilight
***
Journal 251
Alright, leaving the journal with Luna was a huge mistake. It could be worse; what if I had left it with Discord? He’ll never let me hear the end of it.
Twilight had the nerve to apologize through a sticky note. Despite what she said there, she could’ve just come to me to apologize directly.
Then again, I might have said one or two harsh exclamations. Well, I forgive her. She owes me, though.
Everything went to shit in the whole Fluttershy-gets-rescued mission. Despite Luna’s efforts, they still went through with announcing the nature of the infection to the general public.
Of course, ‘everything went to shit’ was only in my side, Twilight said. The public, according to her, is not in mass hysteria. I need to learn how to give speeches like Tia does; she’s really good at them. And that is why Equestria still needs the diarchy. You know what? I take back what I said in Journal 247 about the uselessness of the diarchy system.
The public reacted quite calmly, despite the occasional panic. Tia kindly published the emergency pamphlet, so I guess that also helps. Some agents reported end of day speeches from the internet, especially from Twitter.
The Israfoalian website was made public by Equestria Daily, the Foalfree Press, and the Crystal Times. Many cited it as extremely useful, and many mare and stallions started to train in the art of zombie killing as well as hoarding large quantities of weapons, food, and first aid kits.
Perhaps I was mistaken about the whole ‘keep things under wraps so hysteria doesn’t happen’ thing. Well, that’s a first.
***
Journal 251
The media started to refer the current containment effort worldwide (specifically the Reich, Changeling Kingdom, Prance, Istalia, Zebrica, et cetera) as World War Z. This is terminologically incorrect; a war is defined as a state of armed conflict between different nations or states or different groups within a nation or state. Based on the definition, this is not war, this is pest control.
Then again, the word ‘war’ is practical, according to Twilight, even though she agreed with my statement.
The Flim-Flam brothers developed a vaccine to the infection, codenamed Phalanx last I checked. (The actual name was far too long for practical use) From what I received, they distributed it to areas most likely to be infected, and they sent a shipment to the Griffon Reich as well as the Changeling Kingdom. The media heavily promotes this, and some bloggers reported that they survived zombie bites thanks to the vaccine.
We captured one of those cannibal zombies, as the zombies we have would not eat each other no matter how long we keep them fasting. Agent Thunderhead cracked that they must be on a diet. I am not amused. Tests will resume as usual on the 9th of October.
Speaking of which, I’ve decided to start Solanum tests in living subjects. Of course, said subjects must be compliant as well as suicidal, and given the fact that everypony is on their hair trigger, this should be easy enough. Would be interesting to see the infection firsthoof, despite Twilight insisting that it’s ‘unethical’. Excuse me? We’re in the middle of a pest control. And those ponies complied. What part of it is not ethical?
Everything’s under control, as somepony over at Equestria Daily stated. Contrary to what Luna might say, I’m very well versed in internet lore, and a certain website mentioned this sort of quote as bad.
I think it’s called Tempting Fate or something. I’ll consult it again.
Yep, it’s Tempting Fate.
***
Journal 251
Commander Iron Forge ordered me to send out more containment teams, or else I’ll lose control of ERIS. Now, this presents a dilemma; would I let the world end because I held on to a position of power? Or will I save the agents? Well, the choice is clear, I suppose.
I’ve explicitly told all ERIS personnel to carry a melee weapon as well as semi auto rifles, not the sturmgewehrs. I had to remind them that zombie ponies aren’t that dangerous; we’re herbivores, we don’t have fangs. What we need to watch out for are the griffin zombies. Sure, we could wait them out until their rotten wings fall off, but for the first 3 weeks, those zombies can come out of nowhere, and then rip through your body armor with those talons and beak.
Iron Forge also told me to send out any available agents. This is where I put my hoof down; we’re still recovering from the early containment efforts, and we only recently regained our strength. Fortunately, he agreed.
And so, Operation Brush Fire II begins.
The zombie we captured turns out not to be a cannibal. How very odd, the capturer swore that she saw this zombie eat another one while stumbling towards her. Oh well, more test subjects for me.
I still can’t convince Iron Forge to stop using sturmgewehrs. And then he forced me to take Phalanx. I don’t need a vaccine; I’m a thousand years old, I’m probably immune to all known diseases. Of course, he wouldn’t listen.
Twilight said Spike’s doing well in dragon country. The dragons, he said, wasn’t even affected by the zombies. Thank the mother; I don’t know how well we are going to fare against a gigantic, flying zombie. It’s a really small chance, considering their ridiculously tough hide.
Thanks to a short quip by Discord, I’ve decided to turn ERIS into an army of marksponies. This should be awesome enough.
***
Journal 251
Well, it seems that I overreacted a bit.
Ponies everywhere seems to be a bit savvy about zombies. Very, very genre savvy about them. Sweetie Belle even knows how to kill one properly.
In recognition of this reveal, I’ve decided to open an ask me anything blog. The public needs to hear what an official has to say about this outbreak, directly and personally, not just from a text.
I’ve successfully acquired a test subject; a catatonic old stallion. Pretty sure he won't mind being zombified.
My email crashed. Apparently a large amount of ponies found out about the address and started emailing me. Oh well, their loss.
I decided to go back to tending ERIS’ Minecraft server. Sure enough, a lot of ponies started logging in on it. It got too laggy, and then I decided to go play TF2.
Ah, the good old times of blowing up enemies with thirty rockets at once. I need to commend the developers; they sure have an awesome sense of humour.
Just came in; Queen Elizabeak the Second of the Northern Isles managed to hole herself up inside Windsong Castle. Along with the entire staff, some of their families, and also a couple hundred civilians. I’ll have to admit it; she’s one hell of an awesome griffon lady.
***
Journal 251
I didn’t think through the whole ‘ask Resolute anything’ blog.
I got a massive influx of questions, and even after I filtered through the questions, I still found the occasional idiotic ones. Such as:
“Do the zombies spawn at nightfall?”
“r the zombies coming for ur brain?”
“How’s the war effort?”
I should’ve seen this coming a while ago.
The experiments with the stallion were successful; the virus entered the bloodstream and went to the brain directly. The body’s nervous systems are numbed, resulting in a total loss of sensation for the zombie. We managed to acquire a pegasus corpse, and successfully reanimated it. Lucky for us, the zombie-pegasus lost flight capabilities. However, this does not clear any fears about flying zombies. I’m trying to find a willing pegasus for more studies.
The newly infected stallion also displayed sprinting capabilities, surprisingly enough. Suffice to say, everypony in the room-including myself- agreed that we are completely fucked if we don’t get a grip. The pegasus corpse did not display such capabilities in its decayed state.
Our zombies require sustenance, unfortunately. We fed them numerous supplies of fish. It’s funny, really, considering that we’re trying to find a way to exterminate them, and yet here we are, keeping them as if they’re some sort of mutant pet.
I issued a warrant to arrest a unicorn writer. Many of her writings contained elements of misequinity, and it was only a matter of time before a new suicide related cult arises. Everypony’s on edge due to this whole crisis, and I am not risking a cult using the stories as fact. Unfortunately for us, deleting stories written on the internet is hard. Like, really hard.
So, I decided to just go straight to the source, arrest her, and let the ponies loyal to the Mother tear the stories apart critically. I am a genius. (Yes, Twilight, I’m proud of being an arrogant sod. Got a problem with that?)
OK, maybe they won’t tear it apart critically, but I can wait.
Sweetie Belle’s doing a rerun of an old musical, with her old friends. I forgot the exact name of the musical, but I think it involves concealing…something related to ice. Oh well, when there’s Sweetie involved, it’s definitely going to be good.
It’s starting on the 27th in Broadway. I have a scheduled meeting then. Screw it, Luna’s right. I need to get a break. This extermination effort is taking the toll.
Perhaps I can buy the ticket straight from Sweetie, she’s always a generous pony. Maybe she got it from Rarity. Obviously, where else?
Somepony advocated the use of magic to eradicate the undead. Makes sense, if he hadn’t started attacking science in the process. Nice job breaking your argument to the intellectual folk. I had a good time pointing out the flaws from my cozy bed, with a nearby microphone. The wonders of modern science never ceased to amaze me. Then again, he did point out I very rarely use my hooves, and abuse the use of telekinesis. Touche.
I offered Queen Elizabeak extraction from Windsong, and asylum in the Crystal Empire. Rather honorably, she refused my offer, stating that she wanted to comfort her nation. A beacon of hope, she said.
These days, a beacon of hope is perhaps all we need.
Author's Note
So, this wraps up the first season. Due to various delays, I decided to post the chapters in groups of five, or seasons. Don't worry, I'll finish it someday.
The Equestrian Zombie War
Journal 251
Well, it has been one hell of a quarter. Kicked off with Luna’s return, and the systematic defeat (and a reformation) of some of the worst enemies we’ve encountered. We’ve never had such terrific progress since the beginning of the millennium.
It’s too bad we’re getting more and more rivals in the world stage. The deers recovered from their not-too-graceful defeat and formed a shared wealth system, the Griffon Reich recovered rapidly from the Great War, and we have a couple of new world powers, Prance and Saddle Arabia among them (It’s about time for those desert folks). I need to remind Foreign Affairs of the increase in surveillance tech.
Medical tech’s managed to catch up with magic. Two methods are better than one. Too many new contraptions for an old pony to remember them all (not that I’m looking the age, thank the Mother for ageless spells AND immortality). Sweetie Belle showed me what she referred to as a tablet computer. Apparently its been around for some time. (Note to self, really need to catch up on tech development) (Twilight probably caught up with it. Maybe. Not too sure)
The ponies of the Equestrian Royal Intelligence Services (ERIS) and the Royal Equestrian Army Command and Headquarters (REACH) have served well these past 25 years. We’ve fought off a deer-dragon joint invasion, and fought the Griffon Reich to a near standstill. Sure, we kind-of-lost in the end, but at least we forced a civil war within the deer. It’s too bad the deer victors formed a rather, ah, restrictive government.
The griffins managed to achieve superpower status, much to our chagrin. We barely managed to receive said title in 20 J.R.
While the increase in military technology is substantial, we balanced it out with amicable relations between the countries. Of course, sore points still exist, but for the most part, no open hostilities have been shown between nations.
All in all, I dare to call the last two-and-a-half decades the beginning of a new era.
PS: Forgot to mention the battle rifles. It fires full rifle cartridges with the magazine size of an assault rifle. Now we can somewhat compete with the assault rifles.
***
Journal 251
Fluttershy left for a trip to deer territory. She said they needed a doctor. Oddly enough, I recall her being a veterinarian, unless somepony down at Foreign Affairs have some really weird sense of humor.
I showed Luna around Stalliongrad. Said city has been significantly renovated in the past years. Now the city’s called the Crooked Jewel, in respect for the bloody civil war battle. Now while we’re on the subject, the city’s population is relatively stable since the deer invasion. Ponies and other folks decide that a gambling city or the so called Big Apple is far more interesting. Uncultured buffoons, obviously. A Stalliongrad merchant is worth 10 Manehatten police officers.
Somepony at REACH sent me a message. Took me 3 hours to realize said message is in my email. I’m getting slow.
Come to think of it, I think they called said trench the ‘trench of buried souls’. I’ll look up the old files.
Says here a skirmish occurred between a deer contingent and a couple dozen ponies. The deer soldiers breached the trenches, and in the commotion, an explosion buried the trenches. Poor bastards, they probably suffocated. The rain made it far too hard to see what exactly is happening when it did, or before it did. It’s still raining there, today. At least once a month a thunderstorm happens there, and then a week of light rain. Some sort of weather effect, maybe the opposite of a rain shadow. I have no idea what to call it.
Sweetie Belle’s performing in the opera house today. I need to see it, always worth it.
PS: Increased surveillance status on Ms. Diamond Tiara’s company. A few agents noticed odd shipments in her name from the Reich. Smuggler, it seems.
***
Journal 251
The International Conference chose to hold the annual summit in Manehatten (1-7 June). To my chagrin, this meant more work for ERIS. It’s fortunate Captain Armor decided to assist us with the security. How nice of the Crystal Empire to lend in a hoof.
Agents from the griffin-deer border reported a heightened security check. From what I’ve gathered so far, the Politburo has found something. Perhaps an ‘accident’ happened. Probably so.
Twilight shared her concern of Fluttershy to me. She insisted that the deer could close off the border anytime soon. I found this rational, but regrettably, ERIS’ presence in the Deer Republic is not large enough. Their own intelligence service, as much as I hate to say it, may have matched ours. And so, I told Twilight I cannot easily pull some strings in the Politburo. On the other hoof, I might send in an agent or two to retrieve Fluttershy. I wonder if Serene’s available.
I’ve received more reports on suspicious shipments received by Ms. Diamond Tiara. Her branch in South Zebrica is currently being monitored after last night’s shipment.
Unfortunately, this entry will be short for now. Luna’s calling, I think she wants me to accompany her in her nightly visit to the streets. In her disguise, no less.
Note: Must find better hiding spot for that horrid hat. Yellow and starry blue DO NOT mix well.
***
Journal 251
The Deer Politburo closed the border, and Fluttershy still has not returned.
Scratch that, I have larger concerns, such as the report I received from Detachment 15. Apparently one of the agents present freaked out over a claw clutching him. He almost buried the entire team when he detonated a grenade. Dummkopf, the field manual clearly stated not to use grenades in close quarters.
The unprofessionalism exhibited is not what I’m concerned about. Said agent reported a corpse embedded in the walls of the cave clutching his horn. It was by pure dumb luck that he managed to escape. Now, about the corpse;
There have been reports of necromancers, pony or no pony, reanimating the dead. Of course, I could dismiss it as nonsense, but Twilight lives close to the very gates of hell. I ordered the team to investigate the surrounding area in case said necromancer is around. While he/she may be an isolated threat, a necromancer must not be close to graveyards. Very bad idea, everypony knows that.
On another note, there have been several odd cases coming from the Changeling territory, as well as reports of riots in South Zebrica. I’ve dispatched agents to investigate both incidents.
A few days remain before the summit, and while I’m confident in it, I can’t help but feel something has gone terribly wrong, somewhere out there.
We’ll be ready for it, we all will.
