Fallout Equestria: Mindless

Fallout Equestria: Mindless

Chapter 2
Blackout

by LunaOnTheMoon

The sun was rising. Its golden rays illuminated the clouds and covered them in an orange light. A cool wind was blowing.
I was sitting on one of the smaller clouds, which was soft to the touch. It was very comfortable. I’d just loved to lie down and sleep, but somehow I felt restless. It felt like I was waiting on something.

I looked around. Nothing unusual. I felt into my body. Pretty normal, too. But something was strange. I felt very sturdy.

When I looked down, I saw much black stuff. I was wearing some kind of armor.
I touched it and tried to stretch it. But it wouldn’t budge. It was very light but still, I felt very well protected. A kind of helmet was clamped to my side.
Even my wings were covered in this armor stuff. It was so tight, it fit like a second skin.

But the most surprising was the rifle, which was hanging around my back.
It was an amazing weapon. It was incredibly large, but nevertheless I didn’t feel its weight.
If it was generally very light or just because I was wearing this armor, I couldn’t say.

Weird.

I walked a couple steps forward, so I could look down. I wasn’t very far up, but I couldn’t really picture anything.
But to be honest, there wasn’t really something I could picture, even if I wanted to.

There was a big city behind me with an even bigger mountain in the center. It was sky-high and tapered off. But other than that, just grass, trees and a river.

When I turned around again, I saw something different. I spotted three Pegasi, flying towards me really fast.
Every single one of them was wearing the same armor as me. The only thing different were the weapons, they were wearing.
One of them was wearing a pair of saddlebags, next to a relatively small firearm. With their yellow color they stood out against the black armor.

After they spotted me, they came closer. They stopped right in front, hovering mid-air. No talk. Just looks.

One of them raised a hoof and pointed at my helmet.

I gave a short nod and put on the helmet with the help of my wings. After I put it on top of my head and spun it a little to close it, a whole new world spread before my eyes.

There were information everywhere I looked. I saw a little scheme of a pony standing sideways, little boxes next to the other ponies, which were still hovering in front of me.
I looked closely at one of the boxes, next to one of them.

stood at the top of the box. Below that many other numbers and a huge amount of text. But it didn’t seem important right now.

“I’ve waited for you. We don’t have much time. We have to go. Now.” I said.

I turned around and started running. As I reached the end of the little cloud I was standing on, I took a flying leap, did a front flip and let myself fall towards the ground. After a couple of seconds of free falling I spread my wings, did a barrel roll and flew like an arrow towards the sun.

When I looked behind, I saw the others trying to catch up.
As I turned my head again something weird was happening in front of me. I saw a large, dark cloud shaping at the horizon. Like a really huge thunderstorm, but it was so fast. Very unnatural for a normal weather phenomenon. I focused my visor.

My eyes went wide. I could see, this wasn’t a cloud, but a huge amount of flying creatures.
Whether it were ponies or not, I couldn’t say.

With a smile on my lips, I beat my wings faster and flew directly towards them.

****************

I jerked awake. But this time it was different. This dream was different. I tried to remember something. But the more I tried, the faster I seemed to forget the details. It had felt so real.

“Okay, just calm down.” I said to myself.

You’re still here. In your room, inside your pod. Everything the same as it ever was.
Pretty weird if you could calm down by remembering that everything was as it was before, although you were in a mental hospital, full of psychos, strapped to a bed in a room full of medical tools and other psychos.

But something different seemed to bother me.

I tried to remember something, but my memories of yesterday were spongy. Normally I could remember everything what happened the day before, even if I sometimes didn’t really know if it was reality or just my imagination.
Something was different. I could feel it. My whole body was tensed and my head hurt. A lot.
I looked around, but I couldn’t see anything through the glassy wall of my pod. Even if the lamps outside were burning with half their power.

I blinked and narrowed my eyes, hoping I could see something.

There was something. A shadow.
Something was in front of my pod. I moved my head and tried to see more. I think…OUCH!
A sharp pain shot through my neck. Damn. What the hell was that?

My eyes watered and I gagged.
I tried to reach my neck with my hooves, but they were strapped tightly.
Something pointy was stuck in my neck. I didn’t know what I was, but it hurt a lot, now that I felt it. What was it doing there? I never had any infusions. I always got my medicine beforehand and went to bed.

“Don’t move.”

It was muffled, but I could hear somebody talking outside my pod. I tried again to picture something, but couldn’t see anything. Someone was standing in front of my Pod, I was sure of it.

“Who’s there?”

I waited for an answer.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Then I saw a shadow moving away. I listened closely. But the only thing I heard was someone opening and closing the door.

I went through my memories. I knew that voice. But who was it?
Owwwww. My headache became worse. I couldn’t think straight. The pain in my neck was making it worse and slowly I fell into a restless sleep.

****************

I woke up and had problems remembering anything. But this time it was worse. I felt weak and would’ve very much liked to go back to sleep, but the daily routine was pending.
I tried not to think too much. My brain was especially slow this morning and my stomach felt sick.

I kept my eyes closed. The light was like a knife in my head.

After all the medical stuff, we were brought into the cantina. It was very quiet here. The very thing for me right now.

21 and 17 sat next to me. They poked me, but I wasn’t in the mood for that. From the corner of my eye, I could see 21’s worried look, but I kept staring silently at my food, which I didn’t touch.
17 on the other side was devouring his meal vociferous at his own pleasure. The guards disapproved obviously, but didn’t interfere. They didn’t want to start something.

After everybody was finished, the consultations with the doctors started.

I’d loved to go straight into the leisure room, but my consultation was right after breakfast. A guard picked me up and escorted me.

On my way to Doctor Hippocampus room I was drugged with fatigue. I couldn’t even walk straight. Then pain got worse.
The guard had to figuratively drag me into his room. He was breathing heavily, after he helped me to sit down on the chair and left the room.

Hippocampus was already waiting, sitting on his chair. I couldn’t read his face. It was almost stoic. But as bad as I felt, I couldn’t concentrate on anything and closed my eyes.

I could hear a soft thunder outside.

“Good morning, 16.”

I didn’t answer.

„A little pale today.“

Silence.

I felt like I would throw up if I would as much as open my mouth.

“I see.”

I felt bad and tried to say something.

„Pain…weak.“ My voice was hollow.

“I see.”

He stood up and walked behind me. He seemed to think about something. But he didn’t move.

I wondered what he was thinking about, but I felt so very weak, I just wanted to be left alone.

He moved. And came back with a pill and some water.

“Here, take this pill and get some rest. We can talk later.”

I kept my eyes closed and swallowed the pill, while he called for the guard, which brought me to the leisure room.

I looked for 21, but this time she wasn’t already there, so I laid down in a corner and hoped that nobody disturbed me

I closed my eyes and tried to block out all the noises around me. It didn’t really work.

Every little noise, scratching or ticking, was hammering against my head.
I covered my ears with my hooves, but the dull throbbing kept on. A ticking clock. The footsteps of a guard, patrolling around. It was driving me mad.

My thoughts went wild. I tried to calm down, but it just got worse.
I looked around in panic. Didn’t know what to do. I was breathing faster and faster.

Something touched me from the side.
I jumped, my eyes opened wide and I jerked my head to the side. Due to the fast movement I lost my balance and fell over. My headache made me gag.

The guard, who had touched me, stood above me and moved her lips. But I couldn’t hear anything but a high pitched noise and the thumping of my heart. I was breathing heavily.
The guard moved her lips again and came a little closer to look into my eyes. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. Panic spread inside me, so I grabbed her neck, pulled her down and held her in a tight grasp.

She stayed there and didn’t move an inch.
I saw the other guards come running quickly. I closed my eyes.

I knew what happened now. When a patient had a seizure and was about to hurt themselves or others, they had to be sedated and secured.

I was waiting for the others to free the guard in my embrace. But nothing happened.

I felt vibrations in one of my legs, where I held the neck of the guard.
I opened my eyes. She was speaking.

I curled up around the guard and feared the violence of the other guards. But still, nothing happened.

I winced, when something touched my head. But it was gentle.

Someone was stroking my head.

Again I opened my eyes und looked at the guard, who was moving her leg up and down above my head. It was her.
And she spoke.

We stayed there for a while, until my hearing returned slowly and my headache faded a little.

“Everything’s fine. It’s alright. Nobody is hurting you. Relax.“

She was repeating it again and again with a voice that was like 21’s. But there was something more. It affected something inside me. Deep down calmness seemed to spread, which was overwhelming.
She looked into my eyes. And then I saw it. There was something, I couldn’t explain but it was soothing and unwinding.

Eventually I let go of her, so she was able to stand up.

That voice. I had heard it somewhere before.

Two guards picked me up and brought me into my bed. There was no one around at this time, so they just put me there.
I closed my eyes.

I could hear 21 debating with the guards outside and moments later she entered the room. She sat down beside me and stroked my mane, like the guard did before.

My tension started to dissipate.
When I opened my eyes, I saw 17 sitting in front of me. He was grinning encouragingly and balanced a glass of water on top of his head.
I could see the guard, which I had embraced, standing next to the door. She was watching me curiously and somehow I got the feeling, that I knew her.

****************

“Hey.”

Mmmmmmmm…..

“Hey!”

Again this voice.

“Wake up.“

I jerked awake. Just one time. Couldn’t I just one time, wake up normally? Well, as far as I could recall I always woke up like that.

I looked around. I still felt a little dizzy. That guard was standing next to me and looked at me.

“It’s mealtime. You must be hungry, since you didn’t eat a single bite at breakfast. The doctor wants to see you, too.” I got up.

“Where are 21 and 17?”

„Who?“ She looked confused.

“21. And 17. Those two patients, who were here with us. In this room?“

„Oh. Ehm. They had to go. You know, consultations. With their doctors. You slept for almost six hours. Its supper time.“

„Really?“

„Yup.“

Wow. Six hours. And I couldn’t remember any weird dreams. Well, honestly I couldn’t remember any dream at all.

“You should hurry.” Something felt wrong about this pony.
She was acting weird. Different than all the other guards. Not in a bad way. In a good way actually. But exactly this was making me think.

I decided not to ask her who she was and walked outside my room. I could feel her eyes on my back, but when I turned around, she was leaving in the opposite direction.

For the second time this day, I went to the cantina. I put some food on a tray and sat down. I was so hungry, that I was finished after a couple of minutes.

Hm. I noticed that the guard hadn’t told me when to go to the doctor. So I decided to wait for the end of mealtime.

Wait.

Where are 21 and 17? We always ate together.

The guard had mentioned they had their consultations with their doctors, but it was mealtime. They couldn’t last that long. I mean, they were missing supper. I couldn’t imagine going to bed without supper. I knew that especially 17 would object. He was missing out on a whole dessert.

When mealtime was over, I immediately went to Doctor Hippocampus’ room. The halls were empty, except for the one or other guard.
As usual they ignored me. The guards didn’t pay us any attention unless they had to. They had learned to leave us psychos alone or they would go mad themselves.

I reached the doctor’s room and right before I knocked, I heard something.

It was a whisper. And it sounded like 21.

I walked down the hall quickly, until I saw them.
They were standing in front of a door, while 17 was pressing buttons on a console at the wall next to it. Every time he pressed a button, the console gave a little beep. 21 was right behind him and watched him work.

“Hey.”

I saw how both of them jerked. 21 turned around. I saw fear in her eyes.

„Be quiet. Or do you want us to get caught?“ she whispered, while she was pulling me into the room, whose door 17 had opened meanwhile.

I looked around.

Wait, this was … or wasn’t it? My eyes widened.

„What are you doing here? It’s not allowed for us to…” I wanted to protest, but 21 interrupted me.

“How are you, 16? I’m so sorry I couldn’t stay, but the guards wouldn’t let me. Were you able to recover a bit?” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

I looked at her confused. “Yes, very much. I mean, I’ve slept well, no nightmares. Where have you been? You weren’t in the cantina.”

“We’ve been here to… um…” Now she looked confused at me. “Don’t you remember?”
She frowned and sighed. “Really, 16, we have just talked about it yesterday.”

“Ehm. Really? About what?”

Now both of them frowned at me. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Shhhhh, quiet!” She took a quick glimpse outside and checked. “Please go outside and keep a lookout. We’ll explain later.”

I gave them an annoyed look. I didn’t like to be treated like a child. At least not by my friends, but I went outside and wandered around aimlessly, while staying close to the door.

The guards outside still paid no attention to me. I knew that no guard would go into the room right now, even if it was the staffroom. The consultations took place right now and the other guards did either watch the ponies in the leisure room or had other tasks.

Nevertheless every time a guard went by the door I became nervous and started to tense up.
Whatever were they doing in there? And how did they get in? And why couldn’t I remember anything?

It was enough to drive me mad.

Well. Maybe to mads could add up and I could become normal again.

Very funny. Now shut up. I kicked the wall furiously.

“Hey.”

I froze. Oh good Luna.

“You’re supposed to go to your doctor.“ That guard again. She had seen me and came over.

“Did you get lost?” She stopped in front of me and looked at me warily. Why did we always seem to clash? Was she following me?

She stood there and waited for an answer.

“Well?”

“No, errm, I mean… yes. I was on my way and I think got lost somewhere. This day was pretty exhausting and I think I’m a bit confused.”

‘A bit’. Pfff. I was in a mental hospital ultimately.

I tried to put on a pitiful look and pouted, like 17 did it all the time, when he was already finished with his dessert and we weren’t. But it didn’t seem to work. She frowned at me, but didn’t seem to pay too much attention to it, because she stepped behind me and escorted me to Doctor Hippocampus’ room.

I looked back. “Did you know that bloatsprites can sing?” I turned around again. “And I’m smoking bottlecaps with my pipe.” Our secret code, if something went wrong. I looked back again and grinned at her.

She had stopped and looked at me like I really went crazy this time. Then she nudged my flank.
I briefly peered at the door and hoped that my friends realized they had to be more careful from now on. Whatever they were doing inside.

For the second time this day I went into the somewhat frightening room of Doctor Hippocampus. It always was pretty dark and pictures of ponies in pain were on the wall. I didn’t know why anyone could like to hang such pictures in his room. I could understand the connection since he was a doctor, but it didn’t make me feel very safe.

Hippocampus was sitting on his chair, but this time he wasn’t awaiting me. Instead he was focusing on a file lying in front of him on his huge wooden desk. I never really understood how he was able to retrieve such things nowadays. Maybe they were already here because someone abandoned them right before the bombs fell.

I was standing in the center of the room looking at him.
Somehow I got the feeling that he didn’t like what he was reading. The guard nudged me again and pushed me down on the chair in front of the desk. The she went outside and closed the door. I didn’t like it.

Something was bothering him and I had a bad feeling that it was related to me.

“Hello, 16. I hope you feel better after what happened this morning.” He looked up and waited for an answer. I just nodded.

“We’ve got some important things to talk about.”

He made a little pause and studied the file for a second, then he looked up and leaned back in his chair.

“You remember, what we discussed yesterday about raising your dose?” This time he didn’t wait for an answer. “I don’t want to burden you with the question why, but there are a couple of things you have to understand. I will try to explain them as easy as I can.” He raised and slowly walked behind me. I kept staring at his now empty chair.

“You were hospitalized about two years ago. Someone brought you here, because you couldn’t remember anything. You couldn’t tell me a name, location, age, or anyone, you could remember. The only thing you had with you were a moderate amount of injuries and a kerchief.”

A what? “Who was it? ... The pony that brought me here.”

He was quiet for a moment, but I guess he expected this question.

“Well, it was a him and as far as I can remember, he just said that your family had told him to bring you here. And something about paying a debt. But he was very short on information. We had asked him the usual questions. But he kept saying that he owed your family and he would be square after this. He left right after we told him you could stay. ... I’m sorry that I can’t tell you more. Especially now. ... Please let me explain.“

I frowned.

„We have never had a case like you here, 16. Ponies are here for the most different reasons, but most of the time, they’re pretty similar. You are an exception. You’re the first one, who was hospitalized to get help. Don’t get me wrong. Everypony is here to be helped, but the minority is here willingly. You see, this facility has an agenda and we get support from many important institutions to reach that goal.”

What was he trying to say?

“I guess you know that there are very different kinds of sick ponies. But they all have something in common. Every single one of them has a condition that makes them … different.”

No shit.

“You, too, have this condition, but your kind of condition is evolving in a different way.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“16, what I want to say is, that we are having problems to find the source of your problems. On the one hoof we know your symptoms and can treat them, but that won’t help you for good. If we don’t find the source, you will have to stay here for the rest of your life. And I guess that neither you nor our supporters want that. Our problem is that we can’t treat you anymore.”

“What do you mean? Everything’s as usual isn’t it?” Slowly I started to get a nightmarish feeling.

“Well, we thought the same way. Until today. It started out with vigorous hallucinations, caused by your constant migraine attacks. We were able to treat them and in our sessions we got a rough picture of what could cause them. As I told you yesterday, something must have happened in your past that your brain couldn’t process, so it partially stopped working.
But still, compared to the other patients you’re the cleverest and most lucid person, I ever treated.”

That made me smile, but he still hadn’t told me what he meant with all this.

“The one and only problem are your seizures that make you behave more like the others. As time went by, your seizures got worse, but we had the resources and skills to treat them.
In addition to that, you have your exceptional friends that help you stay in our world. But since yesterday something has changed.”

He put on a very serious look and searched my face for some kind of reaction. He looked into my eyes.

“You had very intense seizures at night and we raised your dose, but you had a different reaction. As you can recall, you didn’t feel very well this morning and I’m pretty sure that some other symptoms occurred, am I right?”

“What exactly do you mean?”

“Your memories, 16. Your memories.”

„But I can…” My eyes widened. A shudder went through my body. Earlier with 21 and 17.

That dream tonight. I looked at him disbelievingly. „How do you…?“ I whispered.

„After your seizure this morning we administered some tests, when you were asleep. We found something. Something that no one was able to explain. Something in your body changed and prevents our medication to work. Before you can object. Yes, they still work like they did before, but at a horrible price. The medicine, which should help you deal with your condition, seems to mutate in your body and while it’s helping reduce the intensity of your seizures, they attack the part of your brain, which we’ve been working with for so long now.
Your memories.”

“My memories?”

“That part of the brain that’s responsible for memories, yes. We don’t know why. This medication was especially developed for long term use and should suppress a generation of resistance.” he said with an angry tone. “It like your body is struggling against it. But nobody can explain why.”

“This means, I…?” I stared into a void and tried to understand what it meant.

Slowly he answered. “This means, you will either start having more intense seizures day by day or lose your memories bit by bit ... until they will all be gone someday.”

“I…I…”

“I’m so sorry, 16.” He whispered. „But there’s nothing more I can do for you. The choice is yours. I’m so very sorry.”

He came closer and put a hoof on my shoulder. I looked into his face. I saw sorrow and desperation.

Then he left the room and I was alone.

****************

I could hear them talking outside. My world was empty. I couldn’t realize what he had just said. At first I was angry.

Why did he tell me this? He could’ve just continued treating me. Eventually I would just lose all my memories and would live happily ever after. But what was it good for? I would just ask myself why I couldn’t remember the last day, the last hour, anything… my friends.

I didn’t cry. I couldn’t. Everything I felt was… nothing. Like my body wasn’t able to feel emotions.

I didn’t know how long I sat there and just … did nothing. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t feel. I listened to my heartbeat. It was steady. My body felt some kind of numb. But on the other side like it would burst the second I moved an inch.

What should I do?
Stay here? Until the last memory of my life before the hospital vanished and then wander around aimlessly until my dreams became my reality and I would finally snap?

One thing I knew. I couldn’t stay here. As much as my heart hurt, I knew that. It was time to go. Go back. Wherever I came from.

The door opened and my body started again. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now, so I turned around and walked outside, hanging my head. I heard a heartbreaking sob, which could only come from 21, but I didn’t dare look into her face.

I walked past her. Tears ran down my face and fell to the ground. Looked like my emotions had caught up with me. I walked faster and tried not to sob. I just wanted to leave. Away from everything here.

I walked around the halls. With no aim. Thoughts passed my brain. So many. What should I do? Why was it happening? Why me?

I couldn’t find an answer.

My head emptied.

Eventually I looked up and realized where I was.

My favorite place. A balcony on top of the roof. Technically this place was only for staff, but I had never seen anyone up here. Just me. And 21. And 17.

This was the place I had met them for the first time. You could even catch a glimpse of the sun sometimes. Even if it was just some single rays. The ascent was locked, but the key wasn’t hard to find.

My friends gave me some time, but eventually they came up.

I stared into the distance.
There were mountains that formed some kind of Y. Where the edges met, you could sometimes see the red fireball, when it set.
The spectacle was covered by the cloud layer admittedly, but it could never truly conceal it.

A warm breeze blew through my hair and I thought about being out there again soon. I wasn’t afraid. I couldn’t remember anything before my time here, but I wasn’t born in the clinic. My origin was in that vast nothingness called Wasteland.

But where? Why had no one ever returned to look for me?

“Please, don’t go.” 21 whispered.

“I have to.“ I whispered back.

“You don’t have to do anything.”

“And what else should I do? Stay here? Until I can’t remember anything? Not even you?“ I asked upset.

21 looked at me sadly. 17 sat a little further away, his body averted.

I calmed myself. But desperation spread rapidly inside me.

“No. No matter how you look at it, I will lose you. The only thing that kept me here. And I will forget you. The director won’t let me stay. It never was my choice, like the doctor said. I won’t continue taking my medicine. And when I do that, I am useless to them. They can’t help me. I’d just be a waste of resource.”

21 started crying and pulled me into a firm embrace. And then I couldn’t hold myself together anymore. I cried.

“Please. Please tell me this is just a dream. Please tell me. Tell me I can stay with you.“ I begged with a tearful voice. I cried into her mane. She held fast onto me, just like she could keep me here like this.

“17?” He turned around and looked into my eyes. Then he turned around again. His shoulders were shaking.

This was it. Everything finally caught up with me and I lost all my strength. But somehow I even felt relieved. Sitting here with my friends and crying let me feel a little less desperate. Although I didn’t knew what to do now. At least this memory I wouldn’t forget.

Hopefully.

At some point all the tears dried up. All three of us gazed into the distance.

One could see a vast plain, a lot of shrubs, but no grass.
Just sand and stone.
A couple of steep hills rose into the sky like platforms.

It was almost dark and the sky had a light red color. A softly blowing breeze wafted through our manes. It was getting chilly.

We sat next to each other. Me in the center, 17 to the left and 21 on the right.

“We’ll go with you!” 17 said next to me.

I looked to the side, into his eyes. “But … you can’t. You don’t know what it’s like outside.”

“Do you?”

I looked away. No, I didn’t. „I don’t want you to come with me. If I have to go outside and die, okay. But if I know, that you’re there with me and … please 17, I could never forgive myself.”

“And how do you think, we feel about that?” he snarled at me. “Do you think, we will stay here and watch you walk outside, go mad and die? Of course, no problem at all.
Before you came here, I was nothing. I was a pony without thoughts and a sense of time. I woke up from a dream after days, in which I murdered and mutilated ponies, just to realize, this wasn’t a dream, but memories, only to sink back into that dreamy state out of remorse. Don’t think you’re the only one with problems here. Since the three of us are together, in all those months, I never had such dreams again.
If you go, then don’t expect me to go on. If you go, I will go, too.”
I knew what he meant.

It didn’t matter what I did. They would be with me.

“The way I see it, we have two options here: One, you leave us. Probably go mad outside, die or both and 21 and I will go mad, too, but we will live. But would that be a life?
I’m not a fan of option one.

Option two, we fight. We fight for every second we get to spend with each other. Whether its two minutes… or two days… we don’t give that up. I don’t want to give that up.

My vote? Let’s try. You know, we can all be poetic and just lose our minds together.”

I looked at him and realized what our friendship meant to him. In this very moment I felt a warmth in my heart that dispelled all my fear.
I looked at 21. She smiled at me and nodded once.

“Okay then, but how do we get out? All the work and resources they put into us. I don’t think they’ll just let us go.”

I looked back at 17. But he had put on his usual smile that meant he already had a plan.

And in his hooves, he held a PipBuck.

****************

Then things started to happen very fast.
We had a plan. Or maybe better, the others had a plan. Because apparently I couldn’t remember a thing.

We went down and into the leisure room. Some patients were still here.

What had happened that suddenly everything was so different? The doctor meant my body refuses the medicine.

Why?
And so sudden?

I became a little anxious. “17! What are we doing here? It’s almost curfew. What do we do?” I whispered.
He looked at me emphatically.
“Where should we go? I…”

He turned around and covered my mouth with his hoof.

“We don’t have much time. If we want to leave tonight, we must hurry.” I looked at him and my eyes widened.
I tried to talk, but his hoof was still there. “16, please don’t interrupt me. They will bring us into our rooms soon. You and I are together in one room that means, I will come get you, 21. Please just stay in your pod and wait.” She nodded decisively.

“16, now you. We talked about that yesterday, but since you can’t remember.
We will need this PipBuck. Most of its functions don’t help us now, but we need it to get out of here. Please just follow me and do what I do.”

“Okay, but why tonight?”

“16, please trust me. I got here many months before either of you. I know what happens with patients, which they can’t help anymore. Trust me, tonight is our best chance. Tomorrow it would become many times harder.”

What does that mean? The doctor meant I could choose. Wait. Didn’t I had that thought already?

“16, please, don’t be so naïve, if we want to make it, you have to trust me.”

Okay. Get ahold of yourself.

“Okay, sorry. Tell me what to do.”

He smiled. “Nothing.”
I frowned at him. “Ooookay.”

“Just go to bed and sleep, but try to remember what we just talked about. Don’t try to stay awake. You need to be up to the mark.”
I wasn’t sure. Not about us escaping. I trusted my friends. More than everyone else here. Even more than Doctor Hippocampus, I had to admit sadly.

I had to be up to the mark. That meant no nightmares and no seizures.
How was I supposed to do that? Furthermore, how should I remember? What if I forgot everything?

17 was whispering to 21.

The guards were preparing to get the patients into their rooms. Those who were here didn’t seem to care. They were in their own worlds.
I never really cared about them, but now as I was looking around … this was my familiar surroundings. I knew the ropes. It felt like … home. At least more than any place I could else think of.

Well, which other placed did I know?

Okay, 16. Not the time to think about such things. Try to concentrate. Remember what happened.

There.
Again.
That guard.

She was standing next to another guard, which she had talked to just seconds ago. But like she had just waited for it, she now looked at me.

Oh, please don’t be leery.

I smiled at her nervously. And she heartily smiled back.

Wow. I didn’t expect that. Well, either she thought, the three of us were discussing how to bake a cake with all serious faces, or she went for me.

Seriously. As crazy as all of the patients were, if three of them stood together, looking around nervously, while speaking hastily with each other, all of my warning bells would start to ring. Because harmless us patients really were not. There were incidents, where some guards were seriously harmed.

Okay, okay. Not the time to think about that. Sunshine and rainbows, 16. Sunshine and rainbows.

I returned to the here and now and looked at the guard again. She still watched me.
Now I gave her a hearty smile. And she. Now she looked leery.

What the hell was wrong with her?

I tried to act as ordinary as I could. I went to the couch and sat down.
Boy, was it hard. How did you act ordinary, if you were a “psycho”?
I gave up.

Just don’t think about it. I thought about tomorrow and what was approaching. When I peered briefly at the guard, I saw she was still watching me … with a sad face.

How did she do it, seriously? It was almost like she could see into my heart.

“Curfew!”

We formed a line. Some patients needed some “help”, but then we were checked off.

After every mark was on the checklist, we were brought into our rooms.
My heart was beating. I was so nervous and feared, that somebody would find out, so I looked down.
I didn’t think that anyone would even get the idea that patients could plan to escape. I guess they wouldn’t expect us to be capable of doing that.

Most of the ponies here had their own problems and didn’t even know, where they are.
When I passed by the guard I looked away. I didn’t want anyone to assume something.

Maybe I should tell 21 and 17. But it was too late for that now. We didn’t have any chance to talk before tomorrow morning.
I turned around and looked back at 21 before I went into my room. She gave me a short nod and turned her head around again, walking past us to her room.

My heart was beating rapidly, although our escape wouldn’t happen for another couple of hours.

I climbed into my bed and tried to get comfortable. My body was shaking. The tension and excitement were too much.

Calm down, 16, or you’re going to blow it.

The guard came and put on the straps.
And … of course.
That guard.

I felt uncomfortable, as she was going around my bed and tightened them.

But I decided to take the chance and ask her. Tomorrow it would be too late.

“Who are you?” I asked her, although I couldn’t see her.

She walked in front of me and gave me a quizzical look.

“Me?” I nodded.
“I’m Guard L.
Go to sleep, 16.” She said and brushed a strand of my mane out of my face. “You really had an exhausting day.”

The cover of my pod closed and I was moved into a half standing, half lying position.
The guards left the room and Guard L turned around and looked at me for a second, before she dimmed the light and closed the door.

Somehow I had the feeling, that I would miss her. Also it didn’t really make sense to me.

Okay. Take a deep breath. You have to be fit tomorrow. Don’t lose your memories. We will escape.
And what then? … I didn’t have an answer for that.

****************

Headache. Racking headache.

One would think I got used to it eventually. But it never was this easy.

I repeated the actions of the last day repeatedly in my head.
I feared to forget. And my thoughts liked to drift all the time. My head went through all the details again and again. I tried to relax, but it seemed impossible.

I tried to imagine lying on a cloud. With 21 and 17.

Guard L stood in the back amidst the air and winked at me. 21 started humming like she always did. That humming helped me calm down. I felt my body relaxing.

My head became lighter and all my thoughts floated out of my head.
I caught all the important ones, watched the others fly away and get caught by Doctor Hippocampus. He condensed them to a little pill.

He looked at me and smiled, then he lunged and threw it at me.
I closed my eyes reflexively and covered my face with my hoof.

“Hey, why…?”

When I opened my eyes again, everything had changed.

Chaos.

Fire.

Everywhere.

“What the, where…?”

“Captain.” A shimmering pony with a silver armor ran towards me. A rifle was floating next to him.
“Captain! Finally. The zebras have gotten into the palace, we can’t hold them off anymore. We have to evacuate the princess.”

Princess?

Ehm. What? Wait. “17. Is that you?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Private Pum’kin Flakes, 17th Battalion, 1st Division, Unit 7 of the Royal Guards, Ma’am.” He saluted.

I laughed. “No, no. You’re 17. My friend, 17! It’s me, 16.”
“Ma’am?”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Now stop pretending. I recognize you, even with that stupid armor. Although you’re pretty glowy beneath.”
Boom. An explosion behind 17 made me think.
Something was amiss here.

“Okay, ehm Sergeant … Funny Flanks. Suit yourself, bring me to … whatever.” On the spot he turned around and started running.

We were in the middle of nowhere. A large open country extended before us.

There were fires burning everywhere and smoke gathered in the sky. I didn’t know, where we were. I looked around and tried to compensate all the information.

As I turned my heard forward again, my mouth fell open in awe. It looked like a mountain that tapered off. It was massive and somehow intimidating.

Around us was so much green. Trees. And grass.

Green grass, at least where it wasn’t burned by the fires. Not that sick and contaminated grass I was used to.

This wasn’t the wasteland I knew.

The smoke got denser.
I thought I would lose 17, so I ran faster. Fires everywhere. Pretty much everything flammable was on fire.

There was a rhythm of cracks in the distance. A sequence that quickly became repetitive.

And an alarm.
It was the most frightening sound I had ever heard.
“17, I’m scared. Let us turn around, please.” I called out.
He stopped and waited for me.

“What is all this?”

“We can’t stop now. We have to get to the throne room. We vowed to protect her.”
I got a bad feeling. What was he talking about?

“Protect who? 17, please, I can’t go on.” But I couldn’t get him to stop. He turned around again and started running.

“Come on.” He called out to me.

I followed him, but only because I was so scared.

The further we came, the louder it got.

I had a ringing in my ear and those cracks all the time that created a short echo.
There was so much fire now that created a thick smoke layer. The heat burned my face and my eyes hurt. I heard ponies scream around us. But is sounded dull, like they were behind a wall.

I coughed and panic began to spread inside me.

Then 17 was gone.

“17? … 17!” No answer. I started running faster. Now I panicked.
Ponies appeared around me, staring at the ground. And… zebras, too. With weapons. Some were pawing at the ground, as if they were digging for something.

I called again, but then I saw him. Smiling, he stood next a pony which looked very familiar.

“21?”

“Hello, 16.” She said and looked at me. She smiled, too, but her eyes were sad.
“What are you doing here?”

“The same as you.” she said.

Everything was so different. Her mane was short and she was glowing like 17. On her back were two yellow saddlebags with pink butterflies on it.

“We have to go.” 17 said and lead the way.

“Stay close.” 21 whispered and followed him.

I waited.

And waited more. I didn’t want to move. I felt uncomfortable, but it seemed right.

The scene changed. Suddenly we were in a massive room with a tall ceiling. There were statues that reflected the light from outside. A big cone of light shone on the ground before me. And in that cone stood Guard L.
She smiled and winked at me. Then she ran off.
I followed her without hesitation.

She led us upstairs. We climbed many of them. I could see an orange sun through the windows. If it was a sunrise or sunset, I couldn’t say.

We reached a room that was decorated far more beautiful than all the others. In the center was a massive throne that seemed to be made of the same material as everything else.
In front of it laid a white pony.

I stepped closer. Guard L stood right next to it. She reached out with her hoof and pointed at the pony.
The closer I got the more ponies appeared around it. They emerged out of thin air and I had to struggle through.

When I finally got close enough to look at him, I somehow got the feeling I knew him. I had seen him before.
But where?

It felt like the answer was right in front of me and all I had to do was extend a hoof and grab it, but I couldn’t.

He had a white mane and blue hair with purple skeins.
He was handsome. Very muscular. And a Unicorn.

His mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear anything. I bowed my head and moved my ear closer.

Then I heard him. “Save her. Save the princess.”

Then he bit my ear. Ow!
I jumped. I looked down, but he was gone.

Where he had disappeared, now stood 17 in his freaky armor.

“Why did you do that?” But he didn’t regard me. He didn’t even seem to hear me.
Then he looked next to me. It looked like he saw somebody standing behind me, but when I turned around, there was nothing.

He started talking. “We have to save her. She doesn’t deserve it. Nobody does. Although we don’t know her.”

What? What was he talking about? And who was he talking to?

“17?”

“16, if you’re here somewhere. You have to go back and save her. Hurry!”

“STOP. JUST STOP IT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” I screamed at him. But he didn’t notice me.

I was so desperate, I started crying.

“What am I supposed to do? Save someone? But who? … ANSWER ME!” I cried out. No reaction.

Go back. And save her. … Go where?

Something hit me in my face. So hard, I fell to the ground.
“Oooooowwwww. What the fuck was that?” I looked around. My head was thumping.

It was dark.

Everything had changed again. I couldn’t see a thing.

When my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw schemes.
It was nighttime.

I was outside.
There was light behind me. Much light. It was white. And red and yellow.

Fire.

I narrowed my eyes and tried to picture something. This was …, but …, impossible. How did I get here?

The hospital was in front of me.
I stood in the dark half a mile away. It was on fire.

I remained motionless. Tried to find an explanation what had happened.

I couldn’t. I was outside.
The outside.
We had talked about escaping. But. This couldn’t be. I couldn’t remember anything. And why was it burning?

A sound next to me made me jump. I crouched down and made myself small. I cocked my ears.
Tried to listen to anything that could mean danger.

I heard a noise pretty close to me, but couldn’t tell what it was.

There. Again this noise.

It sounded like a rock. Hitting another rock and trundle on. Was something throwing rocks at me?

Of all the stories in the wasteland and its dangers, I couldn’t remember one that threw rocks at you.

I could hear the spitting of the fire at the clinic. The pattering of the rain. And again.

Such a silent noise, I could barely hear it. Something was there. But what?

What do I do? And where are 17 and 21?

I decided to go. We wanted to escape and it seemed like we did it. Although we weren’t together.
Something must have happened.
But I doubted that they still were in the clinic.
I really hoped so.

I guess they just lost sight of me.

It was so dark here, I could barely see anything. The only source of light were the fires. I could see some outlines.

It went up a steep hill behind me. There were rocks and boulders everywhere.
I turned around and started climbing the hill.

There. Again. Stone on stone. A little further away.

I took a stone and threw it towards the clinic. Then I listened. Maybe it was some kind of signal or identification. Nothing.

I called out for 17 and 21 quietly. Hopefully it was them and nothing that wanted to kill or eat me.

I heard something. Again I called out.

“Help.” an almost impossible to hear voice called.

I started running. Crouched and carefully scrambling over the stony ground, I ran towards the voice. What had 17 said? I should go back and save her?
Maybe 21 was hurt? Was she lying here somewhere?

“21!” I waited for an answer, ears perked.

“Here.” a weak voice called. To the left! I turned around, tears in my eyes and proceeded. Oh please Luna, let her survive.

“21!”

“Here.” The voice got louder.
I stopped and whispered again. “21”.

I heard breathing. There she was! I touched the ground with my hoof. “21.”.
There. My hoof touched something different than stone. Something furry.

“21!”

“Please, help me.”

“Are you hurt?” No answer. She was lying on her side on the ground. But. She had wings.

“21?” Still no answer. The breathing was gone, too.

Oh no! “No no no no no no no.” I pushed my head under her body and tried to pull her on my back. I cried. And was full of dread. She was so heavy.

“Come on. Don’t give up.” I said with clenched teeth.
With the aid of my wings and my forehooves I pulled her up on top of my back and tried to stand up.

I gave way a couple of times, but with a scream I managed to stand up and immediately started walking. I didn’t want to waste time and strength.

I climbed the hill. Breathing heavily I took step after step. I gave way a couple of more times, but fear made me go on.
Her wings chafed on the ground. I tried to keep her up on my back, steadying her with my wings.

When I finally reached the top I looked around.

Nothing. Far and wide.
Wait. There.

In the distance. Something blinked weakly. But against the pitch-black darkness it stood out like a bonfire.

I started moving towards the light. My back hurt. My headache was paralyzing. But I kept going. Little stars appeared before my eyes and I felt I was close to fatigue.
I got closer and closer. The light got bigger and bigger.

Now it wasn’t a point anymore but with every blink I saw vertical lines. And they even grew in number. As I got close enough that it was blinding me, I could perceive something.

It was a wooden shack.

I walked around and searched for an entrance.

There. A wooden porch with a bench. Also wooden.
I climbed the two steps and pushed against the walls. There had to be a door somewhere. I pushed and finally something yielded.

Finally.

I took the last two steps and collapsed.

The light came from a terminal in the corner. Before my bright eyes darkness spread. I stared forward, but couldn’t see anything. Then the darkness spread inside my head, too.

****************

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