Compatibility

"You're right Gummy!!! The tarot card reading should go before the javelin death match!" Pinkie Pie squealed as she scribbled onto a notepad that had been recently marinated in pink glitter glue. "That way we'll know who survives the ritual sacrifice ahead of time. This will be the best 'Arbor Day Demolition Derby Date to the Death Party' ever!!!" The energetic mare bounced happily up to her room above Sugar Cube Corner. It was time to prepare the cotton candy booby trap.

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"Pinkie Pie, Are ya here?" Applejack swung open the doors of Sugar Cube Corner and trotted inside. The farm pony had too much on her mind to notice a thin length of wire that had been tied into a noose and left on the worn wooden floor of her favorite sweet shop.

She didn't notice that is, until it tightened around her left fore hoof and suspended her in the air, her muzzle just inches from the ground. "What in tarnation?!!" She struggled limply against her bonds, which did nothing but dislodge her Stetson hat.

"Awww AJ, now I have to reset my trap all over again," Pinkie Pie whined as she abandoned her hiding spot behind the cash register. Grabbing a pair of yellow and blue safety scissors, she approached her prone friend. "You silly goose, that trap was for Pokey!"

"OW!!! Pinkie!!! Warn me before ya cut me out of a trap next time. Or better yet: no more trapping me at all. Why'd ya wanna capture Pokey in the first place?" The orange mare asked quizzically as she dusted off her trademark Stetson, and replaced it on her head.

"Well duh! So we can have the best 'Arbor Day Demolition Derby Date to the Death Party' ever."

"Date to the death? Pinkie ah think you're missin' the point here. A date ain't about crazy gimmicks. Just try gettin' ta know Pokey instead." Applejack explained with a puzzled, but nonetheless reassuring smile on her face. "Ain't y'all ever been on a date before?"

"No, but Twilight says it's like a party, but only for two ponies. Gummy and I party by ourselves all the time... Am I dating Gummy?" The enthusiastic mare scooped her scaly pet into a suffocating hug.

"YAAAY!!! Gummy is my very special some-gator!!!"

"Sugarcube, ya can't date a critter. Yer very special somepony is a pony who loves you in a diff'rent way." The exasperated orange earth pony drawled as patiently as she could manage. "It's hard ta explain, but y'all will when ya feel it.

"Oh yeah, Know it when you feel it. Like breaking the fourth wall for the first time!!!"

"The fourth what now? Pinkie what Ah'm tryin' ta say is that ya'll should dismantle all yer traps, and just go out ta dinner with Poker. Ah'm sure the two a y'all will have a great time."

"Pokey."

"What?"

"You said 'Poker'. His name is Pokey. 'Poker' is a game drunk unicorns cheat at in Las Pegasus. Pokey is a cute stallion who gives balloons away for super duper cheap, because his pokariffic horn pops them all if he doesn't sell them fast." Pinkie folded her forehooves triumphantly across her chest

"Were ya even listenin' to a word Ah said? No traps! No traps, no dynamite, no ritual sacrifice, and NO time machines!"

"Applebloom told you about the time machine!!! But she Pinkie promised!!!"

"Ah'm gonna pretend ya didn't just say that. Sugarcube, ya gotta get ta know Pokey. He ain't gonna be as used ta yer... enthusiasm just yet. Bake some cupcakes, go see a play, feed the ducks at the pond in the park. Something that ain't at all life-threatnin'." Applejack's tone softened. "Pokey's gonna love y'all so much when he gets ta know ya like Ah do."

"Thanks AJ." Pinkie pulled her friend into a bone-shattering hug. A hug that might have lasted forever if the bell on the doors of Sugar Cube Corner hadn't made their familiar twinkly sound. "Ooh!!! He's here!!!" Pinkie hopped toward the front of the shop. "Err umm... Dates are only for two ponies so I'll see you later AJ." She grinned sheepishly as she ushered a smiling Applejack out the door.

"Alright alright, Ah get yer drift. Ah can find the door mah-self," Tilting back her Stetson, The blonde mare trotted through the glass doors, eliciting another twinkling from the bells positioned above it, and headed towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Ah can't ever tell if Pinkie's jokin' or not, but Ah think Ah might have just saved that stallion's life. Granny is not gonna believe this one. Applejack thought to herself as she approached the familiar orchards that meant she was close to home.

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"I'm so so SO glad you're here!!!" Pinkie Pie squealed excitedly, her muzzle just inches away from her startled guest. "We are going to have so much fun!!! I planned a HUGE party for us, but Applejack says that ritual sacrifice is bad. Instead we will be- drumroll please- MAKING COOKIES!!!" As she finished her announcement, the snare drum that had spontaneously materialized at her command was consumed by the curls of her cotton candy tail.

"Wow!!! C-can you teach me how to do that! Thatth tho cool!" Pokey Pierce cried enthusiastically. "Itth like you have thuper powerth or thomething!"

"Eh, it's mostly just natural-ish like my Pinkie Sense, but I could try. Say, you've always been so super duper quiet before, I never noticed your lisp!" The obnoxious (and more than a little oblivious) earth pony remarked as she bounced towards the Sugar Cube Corner kitchen. She did not notice when Pokey stopped dead in his tracks and fell onto his haunches with a dull thud. A single tear glistened in his eye before rolling lazily down his muzzle, leaving a streak of darkened blue fur in its wake.

"Tha-thatth why I don't talk tho much. I'm th-tho thorry, I'll try harder to fikth it!" The unicorn stallion had turned a deep shade of crimson that clashed horrendously with his deep blue coat. Rarity would have gone into cardiac arrest. Twice. Meanwhile Pinkie may have been doing just that. You see with Pinkie Pie, panicking or growing extra limbs or eating would have been normal. Anything but silence. She dropped onto her haunches, the same way Pokey had, and just sat there. The sobbing unicorn stallion, and the catatonic earth pony mare. Fifteen minutes passed before a sound was finally heard. It was familiar to Pokey. The sound of balloons deflating. He was the one who usually made that sound. Wiping the stray moisture from his eyes with a hoof, he looked up at Pinkie Pie. Only, she wasn't Pinkie Pie, not really. She looked like Pinkie Pie save one trait. A seemingly tiny trait, only not so tiny: huge. Her mane. It hung like a thick curtain around her shoulders. This wasn't Pinkie, not at all. Pokey was staring at a sad little lonely filly named Pinkamena, Pinkamena Diane Pie.

"I had a stutter." Rasped a voice that could rival Fluttershy's for inaudibility.

"Wha'd you thay?" Pokey sniffled weakly.

"I-I had a stutter. My whole foalhood I could barely make a sentence. When I turned nine and earned my cutie mark, I started going to school in Ponyville, and living with the Cakes. Everypony at school used to tease me and l-laugh at me. I couldn't even say my own name without humiliating myself. 'Oh look there goes Puh-Puh-Pinkamena Pi-Pi-Pie' . That's why I shortened it to Pinkie Pie in the first place. Laughter hurt me and then laughter healed me, and I will never forget that. I'm so so so sorry that I was a numbskull meanie bullypants to you, can you forgive me?" Somehow even the balloon's on her flank looked deflated. Her eyes were silvery with tears, her coat looked dull, her face was drenched with tears, and her mane reminded Pokey of a tree in December.

"Thank you." It was a small sentence, only two words, just eight letters and one period. This tiny sentence was uttered in mere seconds, but it would live forever for two ponies. The stallion who found somepony to believe in him, and the earth pony who found one to bring her down to earth. Two words inflated a fluffy pink mane, two words brushed the tears off of two smiling faces, two words ignited a friendship unlike any other Pinkie Pie had ever felt before. Two words made a blue unicorn and a pink party pony wonder if maybe they could have more than friendship. But it would begin with cookies, and a food fight for the ages.