Compatibility

The yellow bird-horse is having a seizure again. She keeps whining about some kind of hayburger "Big Mac is coming! Big Mac is coming!" And she keeps squealing about her face-tail. "Oh Angel, I haven't even finished brushing my mane!' Apparently hayburgers are harsh critics. Why she calls me "Angel" I have no clue, but I, Stormageddon the King of the Rabbit Warriors, have grown fond of the bird-horse they call "Fluttershy" so I will destroy the source of her angst in a mighty hurricane of flames. Then she will have no choice but to marry love feed me.

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         "Twilight? A-are you home? I know this experiment is important to you, but I think you should tell Big Macintosh that I have the feather flu or something. I just can't do it. I can't go on a date..." The shy pegasus collapsed in a weepy mess on the floor of the Golden Oaks Library.

"Uhh... Fluttershy? Twilight's in Baltimare for the annual 'Baltimare Cinnamon Bun Parade'. She won't be back until tomorrow morning. You're just gonna have to tell Big Mac yourself." Spike informed the sobbing mare, as he waddled into the room with a stack of ancient tomes and a feather duster.

"WHAT!!! I-I could never do that... Can't you tell him? O-or maybe Applejack." Fluttershy  whispered in her 'I'd-rather-be-hiding-in-my-closet voice.'

"Sorry, I can't leave the library; Twilight's orders." Spike replied hastily, "And AJ is on a date with her coltfriend, so I don't think you'll be able to get a hold of her."

"Oh no! Well, I can't just bail on Big Mac without telling him," she drew in a deep breath and got back up on her hooves,"I'm just going to have to mare up and go on this date. How bad can it possibly be?"

"Well, there could be a flood, or a mob hit, or you could get attacked by a platoon of cybermares!" The little dragon offered helpfully.

"What's a 'cybermare?'" Fluttershy whimpered.

"Derpy told me about them. They're mares, only they're made out of metal." He explained in a disturbingly nonchalant manner, "They kill ponies because they don't have feelings."

"Poor dears, that must be so lonely, but they really should use their words." The yellow pegasus's innocence was sickeningly adorable, as she made her way to the library's worn oak door.

"I'll be sure to tell them next time we hang out?" Spike asked. If Fluttershy picked up on his expertly concealed sarcasm she showed no sign of it as she flew towards the farmer's market to buy some food to cook for her date.

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"Oh Angel I think he's here. Do I look okay? Maybe I should just cancel. Is it too late to cancel?" Fluttershy's nervous face retreated into her plush pink mane. "Did he just knock? That's so polite of him. Someponies just barge in, but Big Macintosh knocks." The flustered mare gushed. Startled out of her daydreaming by a second knock at her door, a trembling Fluttershy rushed towards the entrance to her cottage home,and inched it open, as if she expected Iron Will to be waiting for her.

"Oh Big Macintosh, you're here...."

"Eeyup."

"Would you like to come in?"

"Eeyup."

The trembling yellow mare led the silent farmhoof into her zoo-like home.

"Can I take your...umm...yoke?"

        "Nope." Big Mac's baritone voice murmured,"I mean thank ya kindly Miss Fluttershy, but I jus' feel a bit naked without it." The calm stallion sounded flustered, but Fluttershy didn't notice. She was too distracted by the butterflies that had made their home in the pit of her stomach. She was so distracted by these metaphoric insects that she failed to notice a certain fluffy overlord bouncing into the kitchen with a cart full of fireworks and a very indignant flamingo.

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It begins...

"SQWAWK"

"Hush pink giraffe-chicken!"

They'll never see it coming...

A salad bowl flew across the hectic and crowded kitchen as Fluttershy and the Hayburger Horse entered the headquarters of Overlord Stormageddon.

"Who threw that?" The beautiful bird-horse cried.

"She' onto us! Operation Siren initiate! Private DeathBeak, BATTLE STATIONS!!! This is not a drill!!!"

"Squeak squeak squeeeeeaaak!"

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"Oh is that you Hummingway? What a lovely song you're humming."

"Speakin' of songs, Missy, y'all got yerself a mighty pretty voice... I-If ya don't mind mah sayin'." The stoic red workhorse broke the awkward silence between the two of them. A timid smile spread across his freckled muzzle.

"Oh why thank you Big Mac, it means so much coming from you.... Because you're such a great singer...I-I didn't mean it like.... That c-came out wrong." A deep blush permeated her canary yellow face. The rosy hew made her indescribably beautiful which naturally elicited a response of 'Eeyup' from the infatuated stallion.

"Should we maybe get started on dinner?"

"Eeyup."

"O-okay follow me I guess."

The two of them headed toward the cupboard at the far end of the kitchen. Big Mac was staring at her tail. Stormageddon noticed. Stormageddon notices everything. Before the pair could react, a feathery pink missile shot out of the dishwasher and slammed into the wall next to the stunned Big Macintosh's head.

"FLUTTERSHY!!!" He shouted. The pegasus mare had been hovering about two and a half feet above the cottage floor. The firework-powered projectile had startled her into a faint and she was free falling.... From less than three feet high. Big Macintosh sprung into action and slid beneath her to break her fall.

"Eep!! What happened?" She cried, "What in Equestria was that?" She ran towards the bird-shaped hole in her wall.

"Pinkie Pie!!!" Fluttershy shouted as she ran to her injured pet.

"Pinkie Pah is here? That explains a lot." The Earth pony muttered as he squeezed through the damaged wall and trotted to Fluttershy's side.

"No, that's my flamingo. He's named after her, but he does seem to have Pinkie's knack for defying logic, science, and basically anything that should be impossible to defy."

"Still explains a lot. Is he okay? Yeah, this pile of leaves broke his fall, but he never acts like this. I have a bunny to talk to." The timid and somewhat livid pegasus flew faster than Big Mac thought possible, as she made her way to a certain mischief maker's favorite spot on the sofa.

"Angel!!! What is the meaning of this?!"

"Hello my fair bird-horse." Stormageddon squeaked in his suavest bunny-voice.

"Angel, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I have told you time and again that you shouldn't play with explosives, and to not call me 'bird-horse!'"

"So y'all can really understand them can't ya?" The awe-struck Apple asked incredulously, "All Ah here is some crazy squeakin.'"

"Yes, and they can understand us, which is why it's so odd that he still insists on calling you 'Hayburger Horse.' It doesn't matter though, he's still grounded... That's right Stormy no World of Warhorse for a month." She scolded sternly.

"So... Umm what do you wanna-MMPH!" The confused stallion kissed her... Badly. Angel kicked and bit at his hooves, but the tank-sized Big Mac didn't notice.

        "Y'all are the most incredible, beautiful, and bizarre mare Ah have ever met." He whispered breathlessly. Fluttershy pulled away, became interested in the ground between her hooves, and then mustered up her courage and kissed his cheek.

"So, err wanna jus' go to a movie next tahm?" He asked, grinning foolishly.

"Yeah... Let's go now, the new Wonderbolts movie is premiering tonight, and it will give somebunny some time to think about what he did.

Stormageddon thought. He thought that this wasn't over. He thought about how much it cost to hire Chuck Neighrris. And most of all, he thought of how easy it was going to be to play World of Warhorse while the stupid horse-brains went to the movies.