The Tales of Black Toast and White Grain and their misadventures in Equestria

Chapter 3: I BUCKING HATE APPLES

The two headed to the farm Toast, full of energy, and Grain, was Grain, As the two neared the barn a very trustworthy pony, Applejack, walked up to the two with a deadly stare and said “So I heard y’all woke my friend up this mornin’ by chucking a rock at her is that what I’m to understand or do you guys want to explain what's really going on.”

Toast was about to tell her the story she told Dash when Grain blurted out “you know what I might as well tell you ,because I honestly don't give a fuck see me and Toast are humans ,we lived on a place called planet Earth ,we have a TV show all about you PONIES ,you're just figments of imagination there, and the reason why we are fucking here is because apparently your embodiment of chaos, Discord, thought that toast was able to cause fucking chaos in this whole damn world and essentially free him.”

Toast stood there dumbstruck waiting to see how applejack would kick their collective asses. While Grain stood there being Grain. It was silent; no pony said a word for awhile until... Applejack fell over on her back laughing her ass off.

Now toast being the huge perv he is, was eyeing some sweet plot (... yeah thats right) he was truly grateful that he was an earth pony right now and not a pegasus or he'd be having the wing boner of his life. Grain could tell immediately what toast was so fixated on and punched him in the side.

Applejack finally stopped laughing ,after Toast finally recovered from the blow to the side, she wiped a tear from her eyes and got back up. “You fellas are a hoot almost as funny as Pinkie Pie one could say, but back to business besides the rock incident with Dash she told me y’all are looking for work on my family's barn, right?”

“uh yeah” Toast responded “ it would be great if you had an opening we could apply for?”

Applejack sighed and said “Well i guess its a lucky day for you because Big Mac happened to pull a muscle and will be out of commision for quite some time and according’ to them fancy doctors he can't do work for squat but he should be able to walk soon, but right now we need two ponies to fill in the work around here since he well cant.”

“Really” Toast exclaimed “that’s great!” Grain then looked sternly at Toast and proceeded to facehoof. Toast confused by Grain’s action realized that what he said was kinda offensive. “I meant it was great that you had an opening...” he said trying to correct from his rudeness before.

Applejack, remembering that she’s still needed out in the fields, decided to ignore the rudeness for the moment “well then, ya’ll know how to buck apples?”

Grain looked at her confused “You want us to what apples?”

“sorry, we get that one a lot, bucking apples is knock’n ‘em down off the trees, like this” applejack then walked over to a tree, lifted her hind legs and kicked it, knocking all the apples off and into the conveniently placed barrels below the tree

Grain nodded to Toast in a way saying that this is acceptable. Toast then said, being cool and arrogant “we can do that easily.”

applejack almost laughed “we’ll see ‘bout that”

“so do we have the job?” Toast asked.

Applejack held out her hoof “we’ll see, if ya’ll are as strong as you claim, then definitely”

“ok” Toast asked reluctantly ”what did you have in mind to test our strength?”

“that's the easy part, all ya’ll gotta do is buck a tree, and we’ll see how strong you really are”

Toast then thinking about all his role plays and fanfictions believed that since he was an earth pony he could easily do this task he walked up to a tree, reared his backed legs up, and bucked with all his might.The tree shook and dropped one apple.

“it’s harder than it looks, ain’t it” applejack said with a smirk

“...” Toast tried again this time focusing more on the rearing of his legs. “ This time i’ve got it.” he said confidently. he then again bucked but, he missed the tree completely and his groin hit the hard bark of the tree, hard. He then groaned and said “ Fuck “ falling to the ground in great pain, clutching his now smashed pride.

Grain laughed “ He sure bucked them apples!” adding salt to the wound.

Applejack joined in laughing with grain for a moment, before wiping the tear from her eye and focusing on grain “don’t forget, ya’ll’r up next”

Grain realized this “ touche” he walked up to the tree and and focused on the tree itself rearing his hind legs up and kicked hard ,the tree shook violently as he seemed to hit the right spot. The tree shook and dropped a beehive onto Grain. The beehive cracked on Grain’s head and a swarm of very angry bees emerged from the cracked remains of their destroyed home. “Oh fuck” Grain said. the bees, looking for what destroyed their home, spotted Grain immediately and began to furiously attack him.

Applejack fell over backwards laughing as grain was attacked by the bees.

Grain in his infinite wisdom began to plan the old run into the lake and wait for the bees to leave, but he didn't add an unforeseen obstacle in his path being … Toast. Grain proceeded to trip over Toast and fall flat on his face. as the bees circled in on our two “heroes” they could only hope for a miracle.

Applejack, deciding the two had had enough torment, went and got a bucket of water, splashing it over them and driving the bees away.

Toast, now wet, looked at their savior, Applejack, and sighed saying”I guess we dont get the jobs.”

“Are you kidding? i haven’t seen anything’ that funny since mah’ own first day, ya’ll’r hired” she said as she held out her hoof.

Toast eagerly took her hoof “ Thank you applejack.” he pulled himself up and Grain stood on his own unamused at the events that just transpired.

“how about ya’ll start tomorrow, we can discuss pay then too”

“Great also i hate to ask but can you provide a room for us to stay in for awhile?” Toast asked shyly.

“it’ll come out’a ya’lls pay, but i guess so, and the rest of the family’s gotta like ya’ll too”

“Ok” Toast agreed.Grain just nodded.

“well c’mon” Applejack said as she started walking towards the house.

They both followed her hoping to recover from there traumatizing experience. Toast walking beside Grain who kept muttering “ I bucking hate apples.”