Chapters "Yes, everything's going to be just fine! " the onscreen Twilight said, flying into the camera and ending the episode.
Lewis stayed silent for several seconds, contemplating the ending.
"So, she just crashed into the lens," Simon said, then started laughing, "Ha ha ho, ho ho oh my god, good show, good show, good episode, *nom*" the fat brit ate the last of his packet of Jaffa Cakes, completing his goal of consuming three whole packs before the credits finished.
"..." Lewis's eyes squinted as he looked at the screen of the TV, it was now black, the episode was done.
The episode was done...
"So that's bloody IT!?" he demanded an answer, "What the hell?" he removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose in anger.
"What's wrong mate?" Simon asked, getting up from the couch and starting towards the door.
"This fucking show... it's so good, I just can't bring myself to not like it, I guess the ending leaves a lot of room for more content, whatever, the finale..." the skinny CEO stood up from the couch as well, the two had work to do and if the others had to wait much longer, they would be more royally pissed off than the Queen if she had been given piss instead of tea.
"It impregnated the minds of the producers, and we'll have a little babby called Season 4 in nine months," the larger of the two men said, laughing as he entered his office to join the server.
"I... just... fuck, Celestia's voice was really nice though," Lewis tried to find something good from his perspective, but even while alone, he couldn't.
A sudden draft made him aware than he was wearing only a t-shirt and his boxers, he had slept in at the office building since he had been up until two that morning arranging things for the special video today.
Luckily the walk to his office didn't include coming face-to-face with anyone else, so that was good.
A few minutes later, he was sitting at his desk, logged in to the chatting program, and joining the Minecraft server.
"Finally big boss man mothertrucker joins, jesus," Sips complained, looking around at the massive area that had been built for this special.
"Um, Lewis, why do I have the fucking Necronomicon in my inventory?" Duncan asked, his character holding the black-bound book in its blocky hand.
"Dammit Dunc, I was going to tell you all to look in your inventories when the time came, oh well we'll just cut that bit out." Xephos punched LividCoffee until the scientist put the book away.
"Right, Lewis, what is this?" Simon asked, trying (and failing) to not look in his inventory.
"Okay, so, this is a massive thing, its definitely going to be cut into a lot of parts, but here's the gist of it, today we're going to be split into teams, and its like a huge, super modded, super huge, Skyblock Battle match, featuring a shit-ton of us." the collective response, being made up of more than a dozen voices, was nearly deafening.
"So, who's the teams?" Zoey asked, her character standing in the middle of four mushrooms.
"Well..." Lewis began explaining the rules and teams.
He would be with Simon, as usual, along with Duncan, Rythian, Zoey, Sips, and Sjin, making a team of seven.
-A few hours later-
"Alright Rythian, you can't run forever, I know wizards are squishy!" Strippin shouted at the magic expert, granted he himself was the last of Team Strip-Area, and the last of any other team besides Rythian and Xephos on Team Blue-Xephos.
"Oh shi t, c'mon, where's that item?" Rythian was running away, almost all of his magical items had broken by this point, all that was left was that potion.
Unfortunately, the two seconds needed to drink it was enough time for Strippin to kill him.
"YEEEEAAH! WE WIN!" the strongman cheered, his character jumping up and down and swinging his sword around.
"There's still Lewis, though." was the last thing Rythian said before he moved to the other call, leaving the two last fighters alone together.
Strippin searched around for a few minutes, trying to find the maroon-clad character, his Diamond Knuckles was on the verge of breaking, but he still had one good shot left.
"Oh The Enterprise," Lewis sang in the tune of 'Britannia rules the waves'
"What the hell mate? Where are you?" Strippin looked up, down, and all around, but Xephos was nowhere in sight.
"The Enterprise ru~ules SPAAAAAAAAAACE!" and then Strippin was annihilated by the U.S.S Enterprise's cannons, manned by Lewis.
It was over, and Lewis won it for his team.
--
"Lewis, that was amazing! " Simon congratulated.
"That was very goo... go... g... not bad," Ridge stuttered, he was bad at saying things intelligent when around the others.
Several more lines of praise came from the others.
"Awwww, that's nice you guys, well everyone, I win, my team wins, so this has been the Yogscast, and we'll see you all: next time, on Minecraf-" Lewis' voice cut off suddenly, shortly followed by a clatter, then nothing.
His character jerked a little, like a key had been tapped, but nothing else.
"Lewis?" Hannah asked, immediately concerned.
No response.
"Um, hello?"
Lewis has left the game. came the message in the chat, but that wasn't right...
Simon has left the game.
Duncan has left the game.
Joakim has left the game.
Zoey has left the game.
Chris has left the game.
Paul has left the game.
"What just happened? Why did it say their IRL names?" Martyn was confused, but there was no response except for a brief cacophony of clattering sounds.
"Hold on, someone check their offices," Nilesy was concerned, this development was too weird.
"I'll do it," Hannah accepted, leaving her setup.
Already out of her room and rushing down the hall, the blond woman burst into Lewis' office.
"LEWIS!" she shouted, expecting to find at least her boyfriend's unconscious, if not him in a coma, or... *gulp* dead.
But there was nothing, only his headset, which had fallen on his keyboard, she figured that that was what had caused the clattering sound.
No Lewis, alive or dead. His chair was still pulled up to the desk like he was sitting in it, and for some reason, something odd was on his desk.
It looked like a glass of chocolate milk, she picked it up because it was too odd.
Lewis was lactose intolerant, why was this here?
And furthermore, this wasn't a glass of chocolate milk, the 'glass' was actually a thin layer of ice that was melting in her hands, and the 'milk' was actually a solid chunk of chocolate with a little ring poking out of it.
"What the bloody hell is this thing?" she pulled out the pin, then heard a quiet *clink*
Immediately she threw it out of the open window, watching the brown lump fly away from the building and explode several meters away.
The reality of the act hit her, "Who rigs a glass of chocolate milk to fucking explode?" this day was absolutely weird.
Unfortunately for those missing, the day was only just starting to get weird.
-Meanwhile, across the vast expanses of space-
Celestia had just raised the Sun for the Day, it looked like it would be a good day, Discord would be off visiting Fluttershy, which meant he wouldn't be here, bugging her with pranks and pleas.
Suddenly, she clenched her eyes shut, feeling a sharp fluxuation of magic.
Twilight appeared in a flash of violet light, she had teleported from all the way in Ponyville for this visit, a powerful maneuver.
"Hello Princess, I'm here for that visit," the lavender alicorn greeted with a smile.
"Oh Twilight, you don't have to call me Princess anymore, I thought I told you that," the solar diarch corrected, chuckling as she gave her former student a nuzzle.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Twilight asked, eager to start catching up with all of the rapid-fire events that had been going on over the past week since she had been made a Princess.
"Well, my faithful student turned proud graduate, I think it's time that you took up your proper responsibility as the Princess of Friendship and Magic, while the former is a simpler duty, the latter is much more complex and of unbelievable power," Celestia's tone had turned grave and serious, she summoned up a teleportation spell, summoning a new pony to the room.
The pony had a coat that shone like gold and a mane made of energy, runes, and stars, her cutie mark resembled Twilight's, but looked more like a gemstone than a simple printing.
Her most striking features, however, were her smallish wings and well-cared-for horn.
"Hello, Princess Twilight." the new alicorn greeted, bowing to the lavender Princess.
"Um, who are you?"
"I am Arcana, the goddess of Magic itself, and the time has come for me to step down and allow a new ruler to reign over the Nexus," Arcana explained, flaring up her white magic.
"Wait, so I'm going to literally be the Princess of actual Magic itself? I... I don't know if I can handle this," the stripe-maned mare was intimidated by this prospect.
"Trust me, Twilight, there is no pony, not even myself, who is more capable and qualified than you, for this responsibility," Celestia assured, nodding to Arcana.
The gold-coated alicorn nodded back, summoning up all of her power, which was all of magic itself. Her body faded away and in its place floated a magnificent shape.
"Whoa," the lavender alicorn looked at the shape, getting lost in its lines.
"Just touch it, my proud graduate, and it will be yours," the white alicorn informed.
Right as Twilight was about to reach out to touch it, suddenly a flash of gray, brown, and rainbow erupted from the air above the shape of infinite power.
Two figures, one 5'7", the other standing at a freakish 8'0", fell to the floor, the tall one falling through the Nexus and making it disappear.
"What the buck?" Twilight and Celestia simultaneously swore, shocked by this sudden development.
Lewis and Rythian didn't notice this, they were too busy with a great and tiring task.
That task was known to some as: laying on the floor unconscious.
Pony meet Human, Human freak out, part 1
Discord was just going about his own business, he had just arrived for a visit with Fluttershy, when suddenly.
"*ATCHOO* Oh dear, why did that just happen?" he wondered, about to prepare a teleport back to the castle, when suddenly again:
*ATCHOO*
"Oh dear, I'll go get some tissues for you," Fluttershy assured, quickly trotting out of the room to find the much-needed tissues.
*ATCHOO, ATCHOO, ATCHOO, ATCHOO*
"*ATCHOO* Oh Fluttershy, what makes that?" the god of chaos mumbled, wondering why he had just had a sneezing fit for no reason.
"Um, I don't know why you're sneezing, Discord, I'm sorry," the yellow pegasus apologized, coming back into the room with the box of tissues.
"I don't know either, but I meant to ask how many times did I just sneeze? I lost count after potato," the god of chaos asked, taking one and blowing his nose so hard the tissue turned into a bouquet of white daisies.
"Um, seven, seven times," Fluttershy had counted, that was too many times to have a symbolic meaning by any chart she knew.
"Oh, okay," the draconequus said, feeling a lot better already, "Thank you dear little Fluttershy, I'll be on my way now." he gave the kind mare a goodbye hug and teleported away in a flash of gray, brown, and rainbow colored light.
Fluttershy was about to there was a crack of lightning outside, a lone crack of lightning, neither preceded nor followed by anything.
"That was strange, I wonder what caused that?" Fluttershy pondered as she looked out of the window.
Out in the garden, there was a motionless mass on the ground, it looked hurt.
Immediately she stepped outside, slowly getting closer, if this was some sort of dangerous predator, it might be pretending to be hurt in order to lure her close enough to kill her.
"Ohhhhh, uuuggghhhhh, unnnnhhhh, uuhhhhhh." it groaned, it was a female, judging by the pitch of its voice, but the rose-maned mare didn't want to accidentally offend it, so her conclusion on that would have to wait.
"Um, hello?" Fluttershy tentatively greeted, staying a few feet away.
It looked odd, its body was definitely that of a female mammal, long brown hair, breasts, and flared hips, definitely a female mammal.
The hair looked out of place, though, it was brown, but it had a yellow stripe and red stripe in it, it looked almost like a recolor of Twilight's mane, but more in Applejack's style, as it was tied into a ponytail.
However, it had a strange green lens over its left eye, and its right arm was metallic and very dangerous looking.
The pegasus was about to leave, but she froze up in fear as the creature groaned and sat up.
--
"Ohhhh, my everything, what happened?" Zoey groaned as she sat up, holding her hands up to her head, but her right hand didn't feel right, err, like it should have.
She opened her blurry eyes fully, feeling her hands, the left one was the soft, fleshy one she was used to, but the right one felt like metal.
The brunette rubbed her eyes and looked around, trying to see clearly.
Several blinks later, and she found that she was in the middle of some sort of forest path, maybe a walkway in a park?
No, that wasn't right, just a minute ago she had been inside, playing that crazy game of Minecraft Lewis and Ridgedog had organized, the only way she could have gotten here was either teleportation or dreaming, and right now the latter seemed correct, judging from how she looked like her Minecraft skin.
"Um, excuse me, if you don't mind me asking, but... um... who are you?" she turned towards the quiet voice, and found a yellow thing standing a few feet away.
"What the?" her vision finally cleared up fully, and she saw the cutest animal she'd ever seen.
So naturally, she hugged it.
"EEP!" it yelped, oh gosh this thing was just so cute!
Zoey just sat there, hugging it for a few minutes, it smelled like butter and nature, a surprisingly good combination for a smell.
--
Suddenly, a flash of gray, brown, and rainbow colored light erupted near the pair, startling Zoey and Fluttershy both.
"Oh wait, I forgot, I'm not due back at the castle for another three hours, oh well, hello thingy, what's your name?" Discord explained, greeting the human with curiosity.
"Oh, um... I'm..." Zoey felt like she should lie, but her Minecraft username was the same as her own name, WAIT! "My name is Proasheck, sorry my brain is feeling slow right now, hehe," she lied, hoping her fake excuse would be enough.
"Well Miss Proasheck, I must say your arm looks quite neat-o," the draconequus complimented.
"Oh thanks, it looks kinda like terminator's arm, which is pretty cool, I am the Proinator, *snort-laugh*." the part-robot woman laughed at her own impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Today seemed like it would be fun, if she could spend it with this pony and this... weird thing.
-Meanwhile, in a field near Ponyville-
Rainbow Dash was struggling to get out from under this fat thing that had mysteriously impacted with her and landed on her while she was flying.
Normally she could-if only for a few seconds-lift a statue twice the weight of her house, but that was when she was prepared and had leverage, right now even her wings were squished under this thing.
"Why, nnnnhhhha, won't you, gaahhhhhh, MOVE!" she complained, did this thing eat pie and lard for a living?
--
Duncan groaned as he woke up, he dreamed of sleeping with Fluttershy, well... not like that , he wasn't like that. He dreamt more like... cuddling with her whilst being asleep, like having a pony pillow.
Using his arms to push his overweight torso up, he got to his feet and stretched, getting the kinks out of his back, he felt like he had slept on a rock covered in a single layer of feathers.
His hair felt a lot messier than usual, as well as really greasy, he had just showered that morning, what was up with this?
His goatee felt a bit like a wire brush, and he was, for some reason, wearing the same outfit as his Minecraft character, did Minecraft characters bathe?
Suddenly a gravelly female voice spoke up.
--
"HEY! What was the big idea with laying on me?" Rainbow demanded, flying up to this things face, it was tall, like six feet and four inches tall, if her judgment of distance hadn't been crushed along with her body.
"What the? Oh hey it's Rainbow Dash, too bad I didn't get to cuddle with Fluttershy, oh well," he said, feeling a bit disappointed, he reached into his labcoat to look for what was giving him that ever-so-slightly weighted feeling.
He had the Necronomicon, which said 'read' on the cover, his hands itched, then again since his character never took off the gloves, he probably had a sweaty, pus-filled rash or something, given that he was now fused to his character's biology and statistics, or something.
He pulled off his gloves to scratch his hands, only to stop when it was revealed that his hands were nothing but bones and joints.
"Okay then, it appears that I have contracted bone-itis, AKA bone inflammation, maybe," the tall blonde said, scratching his hands, they felt okay after a bit, just a little stiff, but a few scratches and stretches got rid of that.
"What the buck is up with you, dude?" the speedster asked, confused.
"Ooh, cool tactical machetes, me likey." Duncan pulled out a pair of black, twenty-seven-inch long bladed swords and crossed them in front of him.
Duncan swing them a few times, getting a feel for the swords, "Pret-ty cool," he admired, putting them away again, then pulling out an M249 SAW.
He had somehow immediately found his Minecraft inventory, which he had changed to the 'i' key, and accessed these items.
"Bloody awe some, hmmm PEW-PEW." he pulled the trigger.
The LMG fired off a few rounds, and Duncan's eyes suddenly lost their childlike joy.
"Wait, what the fuck?" he fired off a few more rounds, yes, these were real.
He was real.
The bullets were real.
This gun was real.
He was in Equestria, or Rainbow Dash was on earth.
His eyes regained their childlike joy, it was a possibility, and there was only one way to be sure...
--
Rainbow Dash watched as the tall, fat, blond haired, bipedal thing quickly put away his loud, weird looking machine and started running off faster than Fluttershy did when scared.
--
He ran, faster than Simon would run towards a mountain of free Jaffa Cakes, he saw a white-stone-and-straw-roof town in the distance, so either he was near Ponyville or in 18th century Scotland.
Rainbow Dash's presence made the former seem a lot more likely.
He was running so fast that he had to hold one hand to his goggles to keep them from flying off, after all: safety first! (at least for the eyes, not so much for the rest of the body)
He didn't care about the insanity of the situation, insanity was fun , and having a real M249SAW and a real pair of tactical machetes (granted he owned one back home, but having two was synergistically three times the fun), and was apparently a Lich, if the Necronomicon had been read.
He knew this because: as a Minecraft item, it had given him a 'phylactery block', which was now a 'phylactery coin', a three centimeter wide gold coin with his Youtube avatar on the 'heads' side and a pile of shit on the 'tails' side.
At least, he thought those were the 'heads' and 'tails' side, or else the coin was being really offensive and calling him a shithead and an assface at the same time.
Oh well, today seemed like it would be a good day, if he could get a hug from Fluttershy.
-Meanwhile, inside Sugarcube Corner-
"Excuse me, this is a bakery is it not? I want Jaffa Cakes, can I get some BLOODY SERVICE?!" Simon yelled for the ninth time, he had been up for several minutes, and it felt like days since he'd eaten, luckily he was in a bakery, but it seemed to be a shitty one.
"I'm only going to ask one more time, then I'm stealing this stuff, I want Jaffa Cakes, can I get some bloody service?" he asked, and nothing replied.
"Well then, fuck this," he metaphorically pressed the 'i' key and brought up his inventory, pulling out his diamond axe, he slammed it down onto the display glass, "AAAAGH!"
*THUNK* except it was actually plastic, so it didn't shatter.
Suddenly, something poked at his shoulder, he turned around to see what it was, axe in his hand, the sight that greeted his eyes though...
"Um, excuse me Mister Dwarf Guy, why are you attacking the Cake's display case?" Pinkie asked, not perturbed at all by this armed human.
"D'aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Aguu!" Simon gushed as he squeezed Pinkie tight, the party pony responding by hugging him back and giggling.
"Heehee, wow, you're a good hugger mister,"
"I am Honeydew of Khaz Modan, I have travelled across the vast expanses of spaaaa-aaaaace to be your friend," he said in a cutesy voice, putting away his axe in favor of his bare hands to hug with.
Several minutes of hugging later, the shorter-than-before man broke off and his stomach growled.
"I hunger for your pastries, could I perhaps acquire some cupcakes?" he asked in a tone that had an eerie resemblance of Saladfingers.
"Okie dokie lokie then, I have a bunch already made," Pinkie informed, bouncing into the kitchen and returned with a tray of cupcakes balanced on her head.
"I love you," Simon said as he took two cupcakes and ate them loud of messily, a few crumbs spraying away from his face as one of them was gone in two seconds, followed by the other one two seconds later, "Oh, I feel like I'm eating in Minecraft," he noted.
Suddenly a breeze rolled in through the partially open window, and he felt a draft.
He looked down, finding himself wearing his character's slightly saggy black jeans that showed his pubes, a single bandolier with no shirt, and even a horned helmet on his head, he was also standing about five foot six, about five inches shorter than he usually was, probably due to being a dwarf now.
He ate a few more cupcakes, Pinkie was surprised by how quickly this guy could eat.
Suddenly, a large thing crashed in through the window, shattering the glass pane with its body, Simon didn't wait to find out who or what it was, he just started jumping up and down and swinging his diamond axe at it.
"Hey Simo-AGH AGH AG-" Duncan's greeting was cut off by his death, he had jumped through the window because he felt like it.
In only a few seconds, Simon's wild swinging had killed him, taking away three and a half hearts per hit, he was dead in three hits.
"What the-? OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" Simon shouted, something sudden had just happened, and he had responded by murdering it.
And now one of his best friends was dead, because of him.
The blonde's dead body disappeared in a puff of white smoke, leaving behind only his Phylactery Coin.
"Whoa, that evil dude was all like CRASH, 'hey what's up', and you were all like 'not you today villain', and THEEEEN, you hacked him up like a bad chef with a cake, that was funny!" Pinkie cheered, bouncing up and down and making hoof-gestures to emphasize her statements.
"Maybe it wasn't Duncan then, Dunc's a good guy, and I don't think he'd crash in through a window, he knows better than that, he'd use the bloody door," Simon reasoned, concluding that he had done a good thing.
That coin looked cool, he picked it up and pocketed it, his keen dwarven eyes knew gold when he saw it.
-Meanwhile, in another plane of reality-
Duncan became conscious of his surroundings, he was standing in front of a white table in the middle of a black nothingness.
Well this was an odd afterlife, was he in purgatory?
"Um, hello? Anyone there? Am I being judged for my sins? If so, please don't count the ones I did that made it onto Youtube, fire and brimstone doesn't sound like the funnest thing in the world, not even in the top ten, or twenty, or one thousand," he called out, his voice had an odd echo, like it was reverberating back to him through a sheet of souls and water.
The Necronomicon appeared in front of him, opening itself to a page with a pop-up figure of a pony with bony wings and a bare skull for its head.
"Hello Livid Coffee the Lich, I am the Necronomicon, here to guide you through the process of reviving yourself," the pop-up pony greeted.
"Sweet, I can revive myself." the lich pumped his gloved fist in victory
"Yes, yes you can. Now then, since you are a Lich, your phylactery holds your soul, your body will be brought back into the living world in 1d10 minutes, but since you are extremely powerful in the field of necrotic energies, the time had been decreased to 1d10 minutes, so roll the d10 and find out how long you must wait," the pop-up pointed its foreleg to a lone, black translucent die with red numbers sitting on the table. It was a ten sided die.
"Alright then," Duncan accepted, this made sense, he'd played Dungeons and Dragons before, so he was familiar with the d10.
He picked the die up in his bony hand and viciously threw/rolled it along the table, the table itself seemed to stretch out to keep the small piece of plastic from falling off.
After about fifteen seconds, it landed on the 1 side.
"Ooh, lucky man, you'll respawn in one minute, happy waiting," the Necronomicon congratulated as it closed itself.
"O-kay then, pret-ty cool," the green-eyed man said, looking around for something to do now that his task was done.
A full-body mirror appeared in front of him, allowing Duncan to look at himself.
He was still quite a bit overweight, but the pudginess of his face had slimmed down a bit due to his new Lich nature, since a Lich was supposed to be gaunt and bony.
"Well, I'm still supa-cool," he pointed at himself with gun-hands, "Pew-pew," he chanted jokingly.
Over the past few months he had been slowly losing all sense of normality as he plunged into the actual practice of science.
For example: antimatter may have been apocalypse-levels of dangerous, but it was fucking cool
--
He felt a wrenching sensation, and suddenly his eyes were met with the sight of a still-astonished Rainbow Dash, he had appeared back in that field.
"What the? Didn't you run away? How are you..." Rainbow felt her brain melting.
"Yeah, oh shit, MY PHYLACTERY," he remembered, running back into town again, sprinting the whole way.
He needed a safe place to put his phylactery, because that thing was important.
Without it, who knows how long it would take, if it was even possible, for him to respawn?
-Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres-
"Ooh, apples," Paul 'Sjin' Sykes observed as his eyes found the fruit on the tree, he picked one of the apples in front of him and bit into it, "This tastes like having an orgasm, dear Jesus I want more." he picked another apple and started alternating biting into both of them.
He looked around in this strange place he was in, what felt like moments ago he was in his office at the Yogtowers, and now he was... where?
He was in the middle of a massive grouping of apple trees, which was natural, since apple seeds come from apples, and the apples could fall off the trees and rot away, leaving the seeds to sink into the dirt and grow into new trees.
"Oh boy, lots of apples," Sjin was already happy with his situation, sure he was lost, but he wouldn't starve in the orchard-like grouping of apple trees.
For some reason, though, he was dressed in a strange mix of his spacesuit underneath his farming overalls, with the emerald hoe on his back to boot, though right now it looked a bit more like an emerald scythe.
"Hmm, this place is weird, these trees must be healthy as hell if they're this bright and green, and the apples are really good, I wonder if they're part... of..... a.......... farm......" he trailed off, he knew how protective farmers could be of their crop, he had gone through the same thing in his Feed the World series.
And now he was eating what could be a chronically angry farmer's prized apples.
"Shit, or should I say, sjit," he felt like he was recording, which was odd, because he was seeing the world through his own brown eyes and feeling it with his own skin, "Hm, well I guess I might as well search around," the brown-haired man concluded, stroking his moustache-goatee combo in thought for a few seconds.
Walking in a single direction, he found himself at a path within a minute, one way led over some hills and to a gate, presumably to the front of the farm, the other way led over some more hills and to a clearing with a farmhouse. This was definitely a farm and that was definitely a farmhouse, the barn and the grain silo said it all.
"Okay, I just need to talk to the owner about how I'm lost," he started walking towards the farmhouse.
Looking around, everything seemed a hell of a lot more lively than in England, the sun was shining bright, no rain, the air was clean and crisp, the plant life was really green and not drowned, it was warm and peaceful, without hellish weather being a risk.
"Wow, this place is great, am I in America?" he had heard that a lot of places in America were very warm and reasonably dry, and now that he was here, he could see why it was so critically acclaimed to be awesome.
He could smell the scent of gunpowder as he approached the farmhouse, "Land of the free and home of the brave indeed." he laughed, remembering that the United States was famous for-among other things-quite loose gun laws.
Sjin looked at the trees closer, the vibrant green leaves were being choked by dying edges, it was probably fall, and the days would start getting shorter and the temperature would drop.
"Weird, I could have sworn it was early-February, not mid-August, it's just... weird," he finally reached the farmhouse's front steps, he walked up to the door and knocked on it, noticing that he had considerably more muscle on his body than normally, did he suddenly get it from turning into his Minecraft character? Farmers were known for being very strong, so it made sense.
"Um, hello, I'm lost and I need some help," he announced his presence to the slightly ajar screen door.
"Come on in, sonny," an old woman's voice instructed, it was the kind of gently-beckoning tone capable of only grandmothers and lonely people.
"Okay, thank you, madam," Sjin thanked as he opened the door and stepped inside the house.
A scorched fireplace had a small fire going in it, it appeared to have been started by a small explosion, which explained the slight smell of gunpowder, but the main attraction of the room was the dull green pony with a white mane, sitting in a rocking chair and looking at him.
"Well, young'un, yer a funny lookin' one, eh, no offense," Granny Smith greeted the man, patting the couch cushion next to her chair.
Sjin sat down, removing his hoe from his back and setting it down on the couch next to him, he sat close to this strange creature.
"Hello, my name is... Sjin," he lied, it was only his in-game name, but he felt like telling this old pony his real name wasn't a good idea.
"Shin Pads or Shin Deep? Eh hee hee hee," Granny laughed, giving herself and the tall-ish man a slap on the knee.
"Sjin deep in sjit," the brunette laughed, trying to get into this joking game.
"Hey naow, I'm a right ol' lady, don't be spoutin' that shit around me." nopony ever knew it, but the old mare had a very wide, deep, liberally inclusive sense of humor.
"Ah ha ha, oh-hoh wait now, that's not fair, I'm a good guy, I do spacing, and building, and farming," Sjin informed.
"Oh? Yer a farmin' kinda stallion? Tell meh more," the green pony requested, ceasing her laughter and leaning in a bit to hear the tale of Sjin's Farm.
"Well, here's where it all began," the farmer-man started.
He then recited everything that had happened to him thus far .
Pony meet Human, Human freak out, part 2
-Meanwhile, in Ponyville again-
"So, darling, that horrid plaid, you actually like it?" Rarity asked, trying to get a response from the gruff, pale man.
"Fuck you, I'm Canadian, Canadians wear plaid, and don't repeat what I just said, or else you're a racist bitch," Sips was having an absolutely un-fantastic time, he immediately hated his surroundings, especially this posh unicorn.
She thought she could out-pale him? He was a fucking Dracula-spawn! He called himself a Dracula-spawn because calling himself a vampire would be taken in so many wrong ways it would be impossible to make it right again.
"Please dearie, try to enjoy yourself," the fashionista's patience was already wearing thin, and she had only been talking to this pale, raven-haired man for five minutes, it took her hours to lose her patience with a dress.
"I tried and I failed, too bad so sad I wanna go home now." normally he could find the light in any situation, but the only light here was the blinding rays of the sun.
"Oh, what is it that has you so uncomfortable?" the high-class unicorn was determined to know what had made this man so angry.
"Everything, fucking... everything. It's too damn bright, it's too damn loud, it's too damn happy, and it's too damn PG, I want to ice you, but I just can't bring myself to care enough about you or this place to do it." Sips pulled out a diamond axe, he had seen Simon carrying a diamond battleaxe during that game earlier, but that seemed unfair since Sips was a confessional (or was it professional?) lumberjack and he only had a single-headed axe, while Simon was an idiot and he had a double-headed axe.
The past was past, and the present had his axe lodged into Rarity's tea table.
"Oh dear Celestia, Sips, what is the meaning of this? That is mahogany ," the indigo-maned unicorn pointed out.
For Sips, everything went dark, his eye twitched, the sun itself seemed to dim itself in the presence of his rage (or maybe Celestia was getting scared about something), his fangs came out, his blood-lust rose into a huge, full on, throbbing, hemorrhage-boner, his axe was in his hand.
"I.... hate.... *MAHOGANY! *" he screamed in a blind fury as he cleaved the table into an item with one strike, raising his axe again and taking out the doors of the Boutique, each and every last door there was, he was about to bust out the windows, but Rarity's telekinetic grasp on him made him stop, if only because he was physically incapable of movement.
A small electric shock knocked him out of his unstable state of madness.
"Sir Sips, you just acted like an absolute brute all over my precious Boutique, and I will be expecting you to replace those doors you broke," the white coated mare reprimanded.
The rage in Sips' eyes died down as he regained control over his mental faculties.
"Fucking... fantastic," he said, hoping that he could drown Rarity in the sheer amount of sarcasm he just used.
Being let go and dropping onto the floor, he looked around at the walls, furniture, and decorations of the boutique, trying to find something, anything...
...Nope, still too garishly bright for him to like anything.
Begrudgingly, he reached into his inventory, happy that he had something to help him through this strange change of fate, and started placing the doors back into their frames.
Rarity had been watching him intently, and when a wave of air distortion fired out of his hand and onto the floor, she waited intently.
A door appeared, the same door Sips had just broken down with his axe, and somehow it was unharmed!
"Oh my, darling, that... I must say, whatever you're doing, it's amazing," Rarity was astonished by this magical building process, with a skill such as this, this man could make millions.
"I'm just placing down doors, ya dumb bitch," the pale lumberjack replied, looked at his clothing.
He was wearing way too much for his inner Canadian to breathe, his spacesuit was overlaid on his skin, over that on his torso was his hoodie with its sleeves rolled up, and over than was his blue plaid lumberjacking shirt, he also had his bathrobe tied around his waist, and was wearing jeans over his spacesuit on his legs.
The black-haired gamer removed his plaid shirt, hoodie, and bath robe, leaving just his spacesuit and jeans on, he looked at himself in the mirror.
He saw nothing, because he was a Dracula-spawn and Dracula-spawn can't see themselves in mirrors. He swore he would never call himself a vampire though, vampires were ruined by Twilight.
Putting his clothes away into his inventory, he finished replacing the doors and sighed, "Alright, I did it mum, I'm leaving!" he announced, putting away his axe and walking to the front door.
"I honestly do not understand what took the liberty of urinating in your morning cereal, darling, but whatever it is, please do not take your rage out on moi." Rarity understood those kinds of days, the days where you know you shouldn't have even gotten out of bed, but this was simply ridiculous.
"Fuck this, I'm out of here, I'm gonna go find Uthgerd." Sips opened the door with a single wave of his fist, flipping the fashionista off, and walked out into the streets of Ponyville.
--
Upon seeing the populace of ponies, he immediately took out blocks of dirt, jump-placed them into a nerd-pole, and started making his way through town along the rooftops.
"I shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning, no, I shouldn't have even fallen asleep last night. Fucking ponies, I wonder if Sjin has to deal with this bullshit," he pondered, making bridges across to houses that were too far away to jump to.
Today was a day he wanted to end as soon as possible.
-Meanwhile, in Canterlot-
Twilight and Celestia were still shocked at the sudden appearance of this two creatures, even when they began to stir.
"Ugh, oh my bloody head, wait is my head actually bleeding?" the shorter one asked, feeling his forehead with what looked like a hand.
--
"I don't know man, waaaait a second....?" Rythian stood up really fast, feeling unbelievable energy flowing through his body, his veins burned like the sun, his muscles felt like molten mythril, his sight enhanced a hundred-fold, then just as suddenly as the feeling came, he went numb, then eventually back to normal.
"What the? Rythian? How in the hell are you so fucking tall, Jesus man!" Lewis looked up at his eight foot tall employee, he himself felt slightly taller, and a quick check (which he didn't know how he actually did) told him that he had grown from 5'7" to 5'8", "Wow, such a change," he said sarcastically, feeling power coursing through his veins, then nothing, then a normal level of bioelectric energy.
"Um... hello?" they heard a female voice say, and they looked over to see Twilight and Celestia.
"Ho-ly. Fuc-king. Shit. Son
"Oh yeah, from that thing..." Rythian trailed off, trying to remember where he had seen these ponies before.
"Um, greetings, I am Xephos of the USS Enterprise, my people tell legends of the pony species, this is my companion, Rythian, Ender Mage extraordinaire and Archmage of the Yogscast," Xephos greeted, putting on his more valiant-sounding story-tellers voice for the introduction.
"*ahem* I am Princess Celestia of Equestria, though if legends of the ponies are told by your people, then you should have already known that," the white alicorn greeted in a formal, yet nervous, tone.
"Yeah... kinda... I don't really pay attention to any of that,"
"But I do, I must say, I quite admire your country, and I can tell that you are Twilight Sparkle, bearer of the Element of Harmony known as Magic," the brown-haired man noted, "Now, if you will excuse my companion and me for a brief period of time so that we may converse and plan our next course of action, that would be very much appreciated," Lewis kept his speech restricted to only formalities for the time being.
"Um, of course, Celestia and I have a few things to discuss as well," the lavender alicorn agreed, leading Celestia to the other side of the room.
--
"Okay, Lewis, what's up with this?" Rythian demanded, leaning down and keeping his voice low.
"Shhhh, call me Xephos from now on, we should use our usernames, they'll seem less out of place here," Lewis corrected, he had a plan for this day.
"Okay, Xephos, what's up with this?" Rythian demanded again, correcting himself.
"Alright, we're in Equestria, and I've wanted to be here for a long time, great country, really peaceful, the worst thing you have to worry about is typical fantasy monster attacks," the maroon-clad man explained.
"Alright, cool, now then, I just have a few quick questions," the taller man informed, ready to start asking.
"Shoot," Lewis was prepared to answer.
"Good social structure?"
"Yes."
"National disasters?"
"Rare, but significant."
"Cold?"
"During the winter."
"We have our Minecraft powers?"
"Judging by our clothes, yes."
"Any Endermen here?"
"No."
"Do you want to fuck the ponies?"
"Hell no."
"Okay, question time over," Rythian concluded as he let out the rest of his breath,
"I have a girlfriend man, I wouldn't cheat on Hannah even if she's not in the same universe as me," Lewis stated matter-of-factly.
"It doesn't matter, you said no, and I believe you. Trust me when I say that: as an honest Swedish man, I know when people are lying about wanting to have sex. Alright, so let's check out some of this stuff we got," the Ender Mage suggested, looking at himself.
Lewis was dressed in his character's maroon jacket with the gold adornments, the decorative shoulder pads, brown pants, black dress shoes, the bandolier that held his diamond sword, and the white-cyan striped shirt, his shirt felt hard though, and a quick look in his inventory told him it was a '(white striped) Disguised Diamond Breastplate'
Rythian was dressing in his character's white coat with the purple trim, gray shirt, brown pants, and dark brown boots. He was also now wearing his original full black cape with the Enderman eyes on the back, though without the blocky texture the were huge almond shapes, and for some reason they had white claw marks tearing the color behind them.
In Lewis' inventory was a Doctor Who sonic screwdriver, a Star Wars cyan lightsaber (it had a diamond as the light lens), a Star Trek phaser gun, his diamond sword, a skeleton key, and ten stacks of torches.
In Rythian's inventory was an Alchemist's Bag, inside which was a fuckton of magical items and a windmill shuriken.
"Weird, where's that Tesseract item?" the magic-expert wondered, looking in all of the slots of the bag.
"I don't know, but do you have torches?" the spaceman queried.
"Nope," the swede replied, he had checked every single slot in his inventory, and there was not a single torch.
--
"Okay, Twilight are you aware of what was implied to have happened a moment before they hit the floor?" Celestia asked, keeping her voice low, if that tall, dirty-skinned... thing knew the power he possibly had, well....
Disasters.
"A new and undocumented species has arrived in Equestria, and as the Princess of Friendship it is my duty to ascertain their safety, both of them to us and vice versa," Twilight guessed, eager to study something new.
"No, the most powerful magic in the world has fallen into the hands of a possibly dangerous individual with a stature like Slendermane,"
"But I thought Slendermane was a myth?"
"He's real and he's the King of Fear, in the same sense that I am the Princess of the Sun. He's stolen a power meant for you and you alone."
"And I doubt he's unconfident enough to simply hoof it over."
"Exactly, let's just hope that he doesn't find out how to work it in the time it takes me to find the External Sovereignty Transferal Spell."
"Okay, sounds good, what can I do to help?"
"If he finds out, use your already substantial magical skill to teach him how to use his own properly."
"Alright, sounds good Prin- er Celestia."
"Nice to see you're getting better at that, now we just need t-." Celestia was cut off by a sudden:
"BLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGH." Lewis imitated barfing,
--
"Okay, so I'm apparently a Timelord, and you have actual magic inside of you?" Lewis queried as he searched himself, finding an hourglass charm on a leather necklace around his somewhat slim neck, there was button on the bottom that read 'Time Lord's Time Reversal Device, reverses time to one hour ago, WARNING: ONLY ABLE TO BE USED ONE!!!
"Yeah, I can feel the energy inside me, it's roiling and seething and wanting to escape, but I've never actually thought about using real magic before." Rythian replied, toying with the Ender Eye on a gold necklace hung around his own slim neck, he also had a red heart-shape held by a small pair of smooth, pink, female hands on a copper chain, the name of it was 'Existence Stone'.
"So, try something simple, like levitation," the Timelord offered, looking at the ornate decorations hung up around the royal bedroom
"Okay, um... Wingardium Leviosa," the clueless Archmage attempted, getting nothing in response.
"Maybe you just have to want it." the shorter man suggested, pulling a mirror off the dresser and looking at himself.
His face was still his own, but his eyes were now an unnaturally saturated shade of blue, too blue to be normal human eyes, he also had the beard and his hair was a few weeks of growth longer.
"Alright then, hummmmmmm," the taller man suggested, trying, and failing, to bend reality to his will, "Dammit, maybe if I was a unicorn or something," he looked over to the two quietly conversing ponies, they looked like unicorns since he'd never seen one.
Granted he had no idea that they were actually alicorns, but that was a detail that he had no idea about, and thus couldn't consider.
"Yeah, then you'd have a horn and stuff." Lewis pointed out, though his wording didn't remedy what was about to happen.
"I think those things on their sides are called wings," Rythian falsely corrected, shaping his will again.
"Wait Rythian what did you jus-"
*VHOOM-WHISH-HISS-VOOOOooooom BOOOOOM... NEIGH* Rythian's mauve magical aura died down, revealing a lavender alicorn stallion.
The pony Rythian looked around, his vision was still extremely more powerful, his hair (or was it a mane, he didn't know) was longer and the pale yellow highlighted stripe was now mauve and hung down over his face, his eyes were a deep purple with bright white irises, evidence towards his character's heritage, he was still tall for a pony, five feet tall with a wiry body, his cape rested over his back and withers, his pants were now a belt and his coat was slightly shorter, his mask remained around his muzzle.
The most striking features about him, however, were his sleek horn and large pair of white-framed purple-skinned draconic wings.
"What the fuck man? If it weren't for your clothes, I'd kill you for looking like a bad OC," Xephos rebuked, letting out a growling groan of frustration.
"Okay, okay, I'll change back, Jesus H. Christ man, calm your tits," the stallion backed away from his friend in fear of getting backhanded.
"I'm not fat enough to have tits to calm, so I guess I'll just have to stay angry for a little while longer, dear Celestia give me the patience, because if you give me the strength, I'll need bail money too." Lewis was known for being a control-freak, and when things left his control he just got angry and tried to corral everything back under control.
--
"Okay, Twilight, change of plans, I have just lost all confidence in this situation, please come up with a plan and help me," Celestia's voice lost its usual calm and motherly tone and replaced it with a very worried and filly-like one.
"Um, okay then, as the Princess of Friendship and Magic, I will take Rythian on as my apprentice," Twilight decided, her own voice taking on a more mature and calm tone.
"Okay that sounds like a good idea," the white alicorn said, sitting back on her haunches to be closer to Twilight's comforting words.
"And I think it would be best if Xephos, who seems a bit smarter in more political matters, would stay here with you to learn about Equestrian society," the lavender alicorn continued, she was feeling confident with this plan.
"I can't do that!," the solar diarch curled up into a little ball and watched the stallion turn back into a human shape, though he still maintained the wings for some reason.
"Why not?" the magic monarch demanded, nearly facehoofing at how silly this situation seemed.
"I'm scared," Celestia admitted, her voice had reached full filly status, which sounded ridiculous coming from the princess of the day and her large, shapely, definitely-much-more-than-a-filly form.
"Why?" Twilight did actually facehoof this time, how had Celestia so easily given up?
"He's scary, and he's got super magical power." if Twilight couldn't see that it was definitely Celestia talking, she would have sworn she was with Fluttershy on the first day they met.
"Okay, tell you what, you just... chill out over here, and I'll talk to the big scary mage guy, okay?" the lavender alicorn offered.
"Okay," the alabaster alicorn accepted, trembling and scooting away from the two humans.
"Alright then, I'm going to go talk to them now,"
--
"Okay, so I'll just experiment with this amazing magical power, and you go talk to the horses," Rythian proposed.
"Ponies," Lewis corrected, he didn't like it when people said 'horses', they were 'little ponies' for a reason, and that reason was visible, looking over at Twilight, she was about three foot two, Celestia was about six foot three.
Why was he calculation ponies' height at a time like this!?
"I don't care, equine species," the mage was practically pushing the chemist over to the other side of the room.
"Ponies," Lewis corrected again, getting a bit irritated.
"GO!" Rythian gave him a mighty shove, sending the blue-eyed man tumbling towards the two alicorns.
"Jesus STOP PUSHING!" shit just got real , Lewis was angry.
Not irritated, not frustrated, not exasperated, actually angry, he even took off his glasses for this.
"Um, excuse me, Xephos, I, speaking from experience, would not recommend making decisions when you're angry, the mind tends to shut down its higher thinking processes to make room for emotional distress and adrenaline," Twilight suggested, hoping he would understand.
"Right, right... *sigh* so, Twi, princess, yeah, how has the past several days been treating you?"
"I've been better, so..."
"I trust that you want to study the human race?"
"Is your species called humans?"
"Yes."
"Then yes."
"Alright, I'll be your guinea pig, just don't stick anything in me,"
"I don't plan on doing an autopsy," Twilight joked, enjoying this little back-and-forth conversation.
"And I don't plan on being an autopsy," Xephos laughed, feeling the tension clearing.
"So, listen, about your friend," Twilight gestured to the tall, svelte man juggling fireballs the size of baseball.
"Rythian's a nice guy, he can get attached to things, but he's a good egg and a great human being," the brunette assured, ruffling Twilight's man a little bit.
Twilight swatted his hand away with a hoof and cleared her throat, "Well, I'm sure of that, but he had unintentionally stolen something from me, something very important, and I need it back," the lavender alicorn explained.
"Are you the Princess of Magic?"
"Yes."
"HA! I knew it! Simon owes me twenty pounds," Lewis mentally recorded that for the next time he saw his best friend.
He eyes lost all of their joy suddenly, he remembered that technically, he was trapped in another world, maybe even another universe, and he might never see Simon, Hannah, or any of the others ever again. The thought made him frown, but he kept his tears in, the current moment required a stiff upper lip.
"And your friend has stolen an unbelievable source of magical power."
"Oh, well that... wait what?"
"The Nexus, the power of the Princess of Magic, I was about to receive it, but you two fell into the equation and the fact that it's a 'touch to acquire' thing and Rythian fell through it, well..."
"So you didn't even get to use it?"
"No."
"Oh damn, I hate it when that happens, I'm about to get something awesome, and then BAM, someone else takes it, oh well, do you know how to get it out of him?"
"For now it will have to stay, if we're lucky, he's gotten the full package."
"Which consists of?"
"Being in the presence of the Nexus, the Nexus itself told me everything about itself. The gist of it is, if Rythian has it, then he essentially has a complete knowledge of every spell and every component of spells known to any of ponykind, no matter whether they were made in the past, present, or future. On top of this, he had the capability to perform any and all of these magics with merely his thoughts."
"Sounds bloody fucking awesome, but really super OP."
"Well, it may sound 'bloody fucking awesome', but it comes with the responsibility to maintain the balance of all magic in the world. It's a big responsibility, one that I am prepared to take up, but your friend has no idea about it, listen don't tell him about it, I'm going to teach him about controlling his magic so that hopefully we can get this sorted out without any disasters."
"Alright, I understand, now onto more conventional matters, where will we be sleeping while we're here?"
"Oh my, I forgot. Technically you two are aliens, and by Equestrian life preservation laws, you're also an endangered species, so I think it would be nic-"
"♪Oh-oh OH-oh, wouldn't it be nice, if I stayed with Celestia, wouldn't it be nice, if you took Rythian to Ponyville, oh wouldn't it be nice~" Lewis' amazing baritone singing voice belted out the lines like a Ford factory belted out trucks.
"That sounds like a plan," Twilight agreed.
"O-kay, so, here's the plan, Rythian!" Lewis directed his attention to the Ender Mage.
"Yeah Le-*cough* um, Xephos?" the Ender Mage replied, he was just about to look underneath his mask when Lewis called him out, and he still had to remember to use their usernames instead of their real ones.
"You'll be going to Ponyville with Twilight friend, and I'll be staying here with Celestia. I've decided that I will use my time to learn about Equestrian society. Twilight is going to be a good friend and teach you about how to use magic."
"Ironic, I once thought myself an Archmage when everything was laid out in front of me, and now I am merely an Apprentice without a clue," Rythian lamented as he looked at Xephos and Twilight.
"Well then, come along my faithful student," Twilight paused to look at Celestia, though she found that the larger princess had hidden underneath the bed, a valiant effort thwarted by her pastel tail poking out into view, "We have work to do."
-Meanwhile, in Ponyville-
Lyra was running around the room going crazy, she could sense humans were nearby!
Unfortunately, Bon Bon had locked her in while she went to the market for groceries.
"Geez, you take ONE mint candy without asking, and your roommate grounds you for weeks," the mint-green mare groaned, looking at the latched door and windows, wishing she knew how to operate them.
The worst part was that the mint wasn't even good, and she wrote a strongly worded letter detailing why to the owner.
Lyra Heartstrings wondered to herself, "Who names their foal Tree Bore? That's a terrible name."
Her human senses were fully vibrating, causing her to shiver and shake with anticipation, she needed to get outside NOW, those screams she was hearing outside couldn't be anything other than a human nearby.
"Oh well, I guess I might as well play my lyre," she sighed, levitating over the instrument with her mint green magic.
It hit her, not the lyre, but an idea, she looked at the gold-colored instrument, wrapped up in her unicorn magic.
She flared up her magic brighter, she knew exactly how to get outside!
--
Berry Punch was just enjoying another day, she was about to take another guzzle of wine from her bottle, when suddenly the window next to shattered and a lyre pegged her on the head.
"AH!" she yelped, nearly dropping her wine bottle, but years of hard drinking had honed an iron grip on containers of alcohol, and she still managed to get her drink after all.
Lyra jumped out of the huge hole in the front window, surprised that she hadn't thought of breaking the window earlier.
"Lyra? Wha'sh da big ida? Wha di'inch cha juss opin da doar?" Berry demanded the explanation in her usual drunk voice.
"Oh yeah, opening the door with my magic would have been a lot easier, oh well." Lyra smiled as she levitated the pieces of glass back onto the sill and sealed them in, repairing the window like it was nothing.
"Now then, I just have to find one of those humans!" Lyra levitated her lyre up and started playing a beautiful tune.
-Meanwhile, back in Canterlot-
"Now then, just focus your magic and teleport," Twilight instructed, flaring up her magic and readying herself to teleport.
Rythian focused, he slowed his breathing and concentrated on the energy inside of him.
In his mind's eye, he saw the world from in the sky, everything was a dark gray with various points of light appearing and disappearing every second.
"Alright, just find my beacon, it should be dark red," Twilight informed, ready to fire off the spell.
"Wait, Twilight I'm-" Rythian was cut off by a sudden sound of:
*FOO-WHEE SH* the sound of Twilight teleporting away.
"Red and green colorblind," he finished far too late, 'Oh well, I'll find it, how many beacons can there be?' he thought, focusing on where Ponyville was.
Two beacons, both gray, showed up at the same time, he chose the one out in the street, as that seemed logical.
--
*BAMF* went Rythian's purple-particle-cloud teleport, and Lewis was left alone with Celestia.
His favorite ponies were the princesses, not Cadance or Twilight, but Celestia and Luna, something about a divine power that dealt with outer space was awesome to him.
"Well, Celestia, I guess it's just you and me," he said, looking around for the white alicorn, when had she left?
He shrugged and decided to pilfer around the room for anything interesting.
The dresser had three drawers, the top one was filled with socks, which caused Lewis to sigh in exasperation, he wasn't fond of that meme.
The second drawer held a series of diaries and a quill made out of Philomena's feather, he looked at the titles.
"Diary years 1-100, years 101-200, years 201-300, all the way through to 1901-2001, are these some sort of centurial thing?" he opened up the first one.
He discovered a new power, he could read a whole page in a little less than a microsecond, and less than a second later, he had gone through over thirty six thousand pages of little more than hoofprints and crude smiley and frowny faces.
As the books went on, he had spent less than half a second reading a summary of Celestia's whole life up to the day before today.
As time went on, what was crude markings slowly refined into crude words and broken sentences, then into more proper wording until it was like reading a novel, and the last few years it was reading a compilation of literary epics and mind-blowing movie quotes, even the penponyship had transformed into the world's most beautiful calligraphy.
"Hey Celestia, thinking about leaving Twilight and Rythian alone together, well... do you ever get that feeling like you've accidentally set up something really bad, and you immediately regret your decision?... Celestia? Where are you?" the blue-eyed man queried, looking around, he put the diaries back into the middle drawer and was about to open the bottom one, when suddenly:
"Celestia isn't here," a filly's voice said, it came from under the bed.
Lewis stopped, he kept his hand on his lightsaber, this 'filly under the bed' thing had two explanation: Molestia, or creepypasta, and both were equally disturbing.
He opened the bottom drawer, and was greeted by... undergarments that weren't socks.
"Oh bloody hell, am I in that kind of Equestria?" yep, panties, panties, and more panties, Jesus so many panties, from simple ones with the sun on them to larger, more covering ones and smaller, less covering ones, and a sight that made him blanch in disgust, thongs.
"Jeeeeeeee-sus, ho-ly shit, son." he put the unmentionable garments back into the drawer, closing it and getting down onto his hands and knees next to the bed, banging his head on the floor, hoping to bash the memory out of his head.
"EEP!" he looked under the bed and saw Celestia hiding underneath there.
"Aha! There you are, I asked you earlier, do you ever get that feeling like you've accidentally set up something really bad, and you immediately regretted your decision?" he asked, breaking the bed with his Minecraft power and pulling Celestia off of the floor.
"Um... yes?" oh geez, that filly voice was coming from Celestia, it was ridiculous and made him want to slap some sense into her.
"Well, you're bloody useless, I'm going to go talk to Luna," he dismissed himself, placing the bed back and walking out of the room.
He ignored the guards' surprised gasps, he figured that was the best possible reaction, astonishment, astonished people didn't interrupt you.
Several seconds later, Celestia timidly poked her head out of the door, "Is he gone?" she asked, her voice still filly-fied.
One of the guards simply nodded.
--
Lewis was worried, he had a new set of senses, and one of them told him he had made a good decision, but at a bad time, he hoped Rythian hadn't ended up getting chomped by a dragon.
-Meanwhile, in an eldritch location placed in the void between universes-
Rythian was ducking and rolling and doing everything he could to avoid getting chomped by a dragon.
That dragon had been chasing him for almost a minute now, he sprinted and jumped and dodged to the best of his ability, he felt like he had the moves from Mark of the Ninja on top of Minecraft powers, and those moves had helped him.
He had been expecting a nice town, maybe something like a Scottish white-stone hay-roof village, not this.
No, not this at all.
The Ender Mage had returned, returned to his home.
His home in The End.
Light the Fuse and burn it to The End
Rythian had ended up in, well... The End.
His teleportation was that of an Enderman, he teleported from a universe to The End, then from The End to a universe.
Except he hadn't followed up his 'to-End' teleport with a 'to-universe' teleport, and now he was being chased around by the Ender Dragon.
"Ohhhhhhh, come back, I just want a hug," the dragon cooed in a gentle, motherly voice.
"A HUG THAT 'accidentally' CRUSHES MY GODDAMN SPINE!" Rythian shouted back, searching through his inventory HUD for the Enderbane.
The screen obscured his view of what was right in front of him, so he wasn't able to watch where he was going, and accidentally fell off of The End.
Straight into the Void.
The Ender Dragon swooped down and caught him in her forelegs, landing gently on the massive off-white stone island again and brushing him off.
"Oh sweetie, did you get hurt?" the huge black beast asked, checking him over for any injuries caused by Void suffocation.
"Why are you treating me like a child rather than a warrior who wants to kill you?" the mage rebuked, swatting away the massive claw.
"Oh Rythian, I know you don't really want to kill me," the purple-eyed queen said, giving him a little kiss on the forehead.
"I do though, I really do ," he protested, trying to find the Enderbane again, "Dammit, where is it?"
"Oh, your knife? You dropped it, here you go sweetie." a black wing tossed over the blue/purple glowing dagger, the Enderman-eye-blocks of the hilt stared at him, it was Enderbane alright.
"You're talking to me like I'm your son or something." his in-game hate was quickly turning into real-life hate.
"You are my son," the dragon stated simply, as if it was as simple a fact as 'people breathe air'.
Rythian's whole world came crashing down, everything he understood about anything crumbled in the light of this revelation.
"Your father Herobrine and I performed a magical ritual with the hopes of creating the perfect being, half Ender and half Void, that could destroy your uncle Notch, but you turned on your brothers and sisters and slaughtered them. I understand though, you don't like your origins, but I still love you. You look like you do because it is the combined appearance of an Enderman and Herobrine, your dad was 6'2.5" tall, an Enderman is 10' tall, so you're 8'1.25" tall. Your masculine musculature is from your dad, and your svelte figure is from me. Your eyes have the same purple irises of an Enderman, and the bleach-white whites of Herobrine. Your hair is brown like dad's but with a streak of lavender for Ender. I think you get the idea, lots of Ender and Herobrine all over you." the brood-mother Dragon explained, smiling at the memories.
"I... what the fuck?" Rythian was CBAR, confused beyond any recognition.
"Now let's see those soul-crunching chompers." the Ender Queen said, using a claw to lower her son's mask below his chin.
Rythian's mouth was open in shock, revealing all of its Enderman-like glory. It was the same dirty-brown skin his body had changed to, but it had somewhat serrated, thin, chitin-like lips that could cut like scissor blades, a few teeth poked up from behind the sharp lips, and his throat was lit up with purple light.
He looked around, seeing Enderman everywhere, all bowing down to their prince, him, Prince Rythian, their shoulder flames burned with Ender magic.
One of them fell to his magical blade, its flames being extinguished on the first hit, its whole body going limp on the second hit.
The other Enderman, rather than going into an outrage, instead revered their prince for his battle skills.
"I gotta get out of here... wait a second... where is The End?" the Ender Prince asked his apparently-mother.
"You know where it is Rythian,"
"It's in the Void between all universes, so I could go back home in Sweden!" he smiled at the idea, and was about to teleport away, when it hit him.
"Oh yeah, I have somebody expecting me back in Equestria, fuck... I could go back home, maybe go to the Yogtowers, but is there really much left for me there?" he pondered.
With Lewis gone, everyone was bound to be in distress, and what if Simon was gone too? He couldn't return to a dying company instead of helping his friend live life in Equestria.
"I mean, I could try to help, but I'm sure all of the fans would leave without the main guys there, *sigh* I guess its really just up to me, not any benefits about going to either place... wait a second, would I appear back on Earth with everything I have right now being maintained?" he asked, trying to weigh all of his options.
"Unless you take off everything, you'll have everything on you when you teleport," the ebony-scaled beast informed.
"Alright then, I can't just go home then, even if I take everything off, how will I explain being eight fucking feet tall? I can't, so I'm heading back to Equestria," he decided, focusing on that mental map of the world Equestria was in.
He teleported away with a *BAMF*.
"*sigh* They grow up so fast, it feels like those twenty nine hundred years ago when I helped him start walking were just yesterday, and today he's making big life decisions and threatening his people, *sigh* kids. Hey, I want some of you to look after him, he may be a big strong man now, but it can't hurt to have a safety net, I want no less than four but no more than ten Enderman in the world of Equus at a time, this is for your Prince, as decreed by your Queen!" the motherly dragon announced.
Six Endermen saluted and teleported away.
-Meanwhile, in Equestria-
Lyra was playing her lyre in the street, hoping to attract a human to her.
*VORP* came a sound, and with it: a cloud of purple particles and an extremely tall human.
"*gasp* IT WORKED!" she cheered, hugging Rythian around his legs.
"Huh? Whoa!" Rythian had just arrived back in Equestria, and already something had grabbed him by the legs and tripped him, sending his face tumbling towards the ground.
Luckily his ninja skills activated and, with a single finger, he pushed himself back into a stand, looking down at the offending creature.
Another pony.
"Hey! Tik. GET OFF MY FOOT!" he shouted, kicked the mare away, "Jesus, too much affection, my RPing skills don't cover this," he huffed, dusting off his clothes before realizing that they were already dusted and smoothed out by the Ender Dragon.
Lyra looked up at him with the same expression a dog got when you kicked it, impossibly sad looking with eyes full of unfallen tears.
Rythian wasn't affected, he'd never had a real dog, and he didn't really care much about these ponies.
He cared only about the magic, ponies could wait, magic was too cool to wait.
Lewis was important too, he was the only one here.
"HEY RYTHIAN!" nope, Sips was here, and he called down to the mage from a rooftop.
"Sips? What the fuck?" Rythian's eyes did not deceive him, it was Sips, dressed up in his Minecraft character's outfit and running along the rooftops.
"These fucking ponies are annoying me, this whole place is too damn bright, I feel like I might have a seizure if I blink too many times in a few second," the pale man offered a hand down to the mage, but due to Rythian's new tallness, it took little effort to simply haul himself up from the overhang.
"Wow, I didn't think that you might be here, what's up with half the town covered in dir- Siiiiiiips, did you arrive here with dirt?"
"Thirty stacks of it, and this diamond shovel with Efficiency V, Unbreaking IV, and Sharpness V, aaaaand my hoodie, plaid shirt, and bathrobe," Sips revealed, pronouncing the roman numerals as 'vee' and 'eye vee'
"Any torches?" the mage queried.
"Nope, how about you?" the lumberjack replied.
"I had none, but Lewis gave me a stack, he had ten stacks of torches," the look in Rythian's eyes told Sips that he wasn't lying, or even exaggerating.
"Wow, I mean he uses torches like diabetic people drink water, IE way too damn much, but ten stacks? Damn, just... damn." Sips was a third-surprised, a third-disbelieving, and a third-'I could have expected this'
"Have you seen any of the others?" Rythian felt that if Sips was here, maybe Sjin was here, and since Lewis was here, maybe Simon and Duncan were here, and if he himself was here, maybe Zoey was here.
It was a logic based on typical affiliations, but it was a logic of some type!
"I think I saw Duncan barreling through the streets like a fucking cannonball, he could break through a wall with all that fat and speed," Sips recalled, "I think Simon is in cahoots with this pink pony, I saw them inside a giant gingerbread house eating cupcakes, anyways, I'M OUT!" the raven-haired man said, jumping across to another rooftop as music started up, like some sort of outro .
The mage just watched him, confused by the sudden song, "I have to go find that Sparkle princess mare pony... thing, gah I have no idea what to do here," he groaned as he jumped off of the building, hearing something in his legs break, "OW JESUS!" he had taken half a heart of damage, he could see it in the corner of his eyes, fourteen and a half hearts, a testament to his hybrid nature.
If players had twenty health, AKA ten hearts, and Endermen had forty health, AKA twenty hearts, then he had thirty health, AKA fifteen hearts.
He waited, a few seconds later he felt better, and the half heart was replenished, he looked over to the other side, in the other corner of his vision, he saw that he had nine and a half drumsticks in his health bar.
"Well, I guess the whole 'Minecraft' thing permeates past normal powers, man, this is all a little too much," he started walking with his hands in his pockets, at least walking by Minecraft standards, which was 4.3 meters per second.
He looked through his inventory, there would be time to learn about a lot of these things later, but right now, a Potion of Swiftness II sounded good.
He drank it, feeling sugar rushing past his throat and the taste of raisins on his tongue, and the taste of lemons enhancing it all, was this how potions were supposed to taste?
Nevertheless, he began sprinting with the Swiftness II activated, putting his speed at 7.9 meters per second.
With a brief thought of getting himself a few gold medals in the Olympics for the running segments, he quickly reached a giant tree with a door on it, he punched the air in front of him, sending a wave of air distortion that traveled about half the speed of light and opened the door before Rythian could even blink.
The doorway was too short, it stood up at six and a half feet tall.
So Rythian, being the skilled ninja that he was, did a cool sliding skid to a halt inside.
"Impressive," Twilight praised, "But you're here to learn how to use magic, not how to slide," she explained, magically closing the door.
"Right, so, Lesson One I suppose?" the tall hybrid guessed.
"Nope, Lesson Zero, understanding magic. Now then, I must ask: do you have any magical items, artifacts, constructs, potions, tools, weapons, relics, scrolls, books, runes, or anything of the sort with a magical power of a basic, conventional, advanced, epic, or otherwise level?" the lavender alicorn asked, giving a small smile of reassurance.
"I know all of those words, but the way you put them together confused me," Rythian admitted, wishing that any of those lessons he'd given Zoey had stuck to his own memory.
"Okay, let me put it in a way Xephos would probably ask, since you seem to be great friends with him: Got any magic shit?" the friendship princess reworded, cocking an eyebrow and tilting her head a bit.
Rythian gained a look of realization upon his face, and took out the Alchemist's Bag. He opened it, turned it upside down, and gave the bottom a single, solid *pat*.
Dozens upon dozens of items spilled out, and a great racket rose from the sounds of them hitting the floor or each other, when all of the items had fallen out, the mage gently placed the bag itself on top of the pile.
Twilight gulped, this pile was as big as her! And it probably weighed more than her as well.
"Well, it will take me some time to go through these things and sort them into categories based on function and power, in the meantime..." the amethyst-eyed mare looked upstairs as she heard little footsteps coming down.
"Twilight, what was all that noi- wow, just... wow. Okay so... dude, you're creepy, and I'm not cleaning that up," Spike said as he retreated back up the stairs.
"So... how long until that first lesson?" the Swede asked, wanting to make sure of what he had time to do while his teacher was busy.
"You might want to pull up a couch... and a blanket and pillow," Twilight deadpanned, levitating the items back into the bag and trotting down to the basement.
Rythian smiled, he had kept the Red Matter Katar and the Enderbane on his belt, and he ran outside to look for the others.
-Meanwhile, with Sjin-
The brown-haired farmer walked away from the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse with a pie in his hand and a mirth in his eyes, this place was cool , nice peop-er, ponies, a stable economy, and lots of free time to do anything he wanted.
"Damn, if only Minty were here, then it'd be perfect," he lamented, taking another bite of pie.
After a few minutes, the dirt path quickly became stone as he came to, and crossed, a bridge, then back to dirt as he entered Ponyville.
He keen eye for detail saw something, a bunch of squiggly lines on the ground, he guessed that they went all around the outside of the town, "Odd, I wonder what they're for?" he ignored them and walked into the perimeter.
What he didn't notice, however, is that the gray/brown/rainbow colored runes began glowing even brighter.
-Meanwhile, with Zoey-
"So, this place is, like, all ponies?" Zoey asked, walking beside Fluttershy.
The brunette and the pegasus were going to Ponyville, the animal-expert had figured that, if there was anypony who'd know what to do with a new species, Twilight would be that pony.
"Well, not all ponies, we have other species like donkeys and mules, griffons and minotaurs, and even dragons," Fluttershy clarified, happy to be talking about something she was good at talking about.
"What about dear old me? " Discord asked, looking at his watch, "Oh me, it looks like I'm due back at the castle right now, don't want to disappoint the ol' mare Celestia, arrivederci," the draconequus waved goodbye and snapped his fingers.
*FWEESH-CRACK-HONK* went his teleportation sound as he disappeared in a flash of gray/brown/rainbow light.
"That was... a thing," Zoey said, giving an uncomfortable laugh.
"Oh don't worry, Discord is always like that," the butter-yellow pegasus dismissed, smiling as she continued trotting along the path.
--
A few minutes later, they had arrived at Ponyville, and Fluttershy noticed the runes glowing in a circle around the perimeter of the town.
"Odd, those aren't usually there," the rose-maned mare noted, looking closer.
"Maybe Rythian's here, and he cast a protection spell, he hates dragons," Zoey did sorta understand that there was a dragon in Minecraft and Rythian didn't like it, she also knew that he was an awesome magic man.
"I don't think your friend Rythian did this, this looks like..." Fluttershy leaned in closer, her teal eyes scrutinizing the runes.
Each and every individual rune was glowing with a gray/brown/rainbow light, the same color as...
"Discord!" the quiet pony realized, disappointed that her friend would do such a thing... unless it were good, she didn't know what these runes meant.
"Ooh, it says... hashtag, yolo swag, four-twenty blaze it, just blaze, dat herb, three-sixty no-scope, lol, and this one says chaos," the cyborg woman read perfectly.
"You know how to read this?" Fluttershy queried, not sure of the validity of her companions statement.
"Oh yeah, I'm actually fluent in the Galactic Alphabet, which is what this is written in, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in the Yogscast who knows it." it was true, Zoey secretly knew the whole Galactic Alphabet just as well as she knew English.
"Okay then, come on, I'll get you to Twilight, then I need to write a letter," the butter-yellow pegasus insisted, trotting fast, practically going into a canter.
Zoey followed along, ponies didn't really look at her funny, in fact all of them were mildly shocked at most .
--
Rythian was walking along while reading a newspaper, he managed to levitate it in front of him, so his hands were free to exercise his skills with the Red Matter Katar and Enderbane.
"*loud gasp* RYTHIAN!" he turned his head to find the source of the exclamation.
"ZOEY!" she was running towards him, arms outstretched.
Then he noticed that she was also dressed up in her Minecraft character's outfit, had everyone arrived in their character's outfits?
'Oh god... Simon... blegh.' he thought, wishing the mental images of the half-naked dwarf would go away, which they did.
And then Rythian and Zoey hugged, d'awwww.
"Zoey, I thought... that it was all just RPing," the magic expert confusedly asked, wondering why she was acting this way.
"It was, and I like boobs too much to be romantic with you IRL, but I know that you're a good guy and you'll keep me safe in this... place, I'm still not sure if this is a country or not," Zoey explained, releasing him, "Wow, you're really tall for some reason, are you a real Ender Mage now?"
"Yeah, anyways, who's that?" Rythian easily saw over the brunette's head and saw a pony, it was a female like Twilight, but this one only had wings and was different colors.
"Oh, that's Fluttershy... she's quiet," the cyborg woman introduced, wishing she had paid more attention to what the yellow pegasus was saying.
Fluttershy timidly approached the tall, somewhat gangly man, looking up at him.
Rythian smiled underneath his mask, which didn't show.
Fluttershy breathed in through her nose, she was going to gather enough courage to speak, but then she smelled him.
He smelled like grapes... and death .
--
Rythian had never seen anyone, or anypony, flee as fast as the rose-maned mare did right then, he felt like he could only match that by sprinting while under the effects of a Swiftness II potion.
-Meanwhile, back in Canterlot-
Discord appeared in Celestia's bedroom, only to find something amiss.
The nigh-immortal alicorn princess and goddess of the motherfucking Sun ... was happily humming and occasionally sipping from a brightly colored juice box and coloring a page in a coloring book.
"Celestia, if this is a prank on me, I highly suggest that you choose something that makes you look like less on an idiot." Discord knew that Celestia tried to be spontaneous with her jokes, but even the goddess of the sun flickered and faded in comparison his glorious chaos.
Celestia was about to reply, but she finished both the juice and the page at the same time, and a look of relief washed over her face.
She turned around, "Discord, why are you bugging me? Don't you have some other pony to annoy?" she replied, her normal voice and demeanor restored.
"Well, I just got back from my visit with Fluttershy, I must say that that Proasheck girl is quite the charmer, she just pulls you in for an adventure that comes out of her mind," the draconequus explained, summoning up a glass of chocolate milk.
"Proasheck? I sensed a magical disturbance earlier, is she the only human you've met?" the white alicorn was connecting the dots.
"Now how did you know that Proasheck was a human? Have you been spy ing on me?" the chaos avatar accused, acting indignant and aghast.
"No, whilst Twilight was here, two humans, a tall lithe one who had a scent like wine and a corpse named Rythian, and a shorter one with the voice of a natural leader named Xephos, appeared. Rythian went with Twilight back to Ponyville, and Xephos..." Celestia's eyes went wide.
Xephos was with Luna.
--
"I must say, your adventures are very entertaining," the blue alicorn mused, playing with one of Xephos' many torches.
"Yes, the stories of my adventures have entertained millions of people, but it is quite an honor to be able to entertain a princess," Lewis replied, looking at his now-blue torches, each and every one of them had been changed in color, and they were all brighter due to being lit with lightning.
"The thought of my sister acting like a little filly when she over two millennia old is quite funny as well," Luna added, sipping her glass of chardonnay.
"Yeah, but it was frustrating as all balls, so I came to see you," the adventurer explained, taking a swig of his frosty beer.
The two were enjoying each other's company, it was nice.
"So you wanted the night's to be longer..." he began, recalling the tale of Nightmare Moon.
"Yes, but it was wrong of me..." the lunar diarch looked at the floor in shame.
"How much longer? What was the day/night schedule?" Lewis was going to get to the bottom of this mystery.
"Day was a quarter till six AM to a quarter after nine PM, night was the opposite," Luna revealed, not sure where her companion was going with this.
"Christ! That's... sixteen and a half hours of daytime! The fucking plants would dry up if day was that long!" the brit calculated, how had drought not occurred, assuming it didn't?
"Funny, the crops were exactly what Tia was worried about," the night princess laughed, taking another sip of her wine.
"And then during the summer, oh god during the summer, what did she have day run from four in the flippin' morning to midnight?" Lewis was livid, it was amazing how much head-wall-ing could be done over this, "Jesus fucking Christ, was Celestia checked out by a neurologist?" he asked, not expecting an answer.
A flash of fiery orange light erupted in the middle of the room, and from it came Celestia.
"Speak of the deviless and she'll come a'runnin'," he said, turning his full attention to the solar diarch.
Luna scooted away from the bomb that was about to drop, she honestly didn't know who to root for, her flesh-and-blood sister, or this guy who was supporting her and making her feel better about herself.
Celestia blinked hard, ready to take any screams that Xephos could dish out.
-Meanwhile, back in Ponyville-
Simon and Pinkie were bouncing along, high on life, they didn't really care what was going on around them, just that everything was A-Okay.
"Holy crap! Simon? SIIIMOOOOON" Sjin called out, sprinting towards the pair.
"Sjin? SJIIIIIIIN!" Simon sprinted towards the architect.
They collided in mid-air, hugging.
Sjin's eyes were filled with life, his irises a rich brown color with hints of hazel. Simon's eyes were also filled with life, a strong gray color with streaks of brown.
"Holy crap, dude, have you seen any of the others?" Sjin asked, looking around.
"Why the fuck is there dirt everywhere?" Simon replied, looking around at several bridges, nerd-poles, and even a few shacks made of dirt, all just built onto the buildings, like someone was in a custom map and was using dirt to bypass puzzles.
"Um, I honestly don't know, ooh wait, maybe it's Sips," Sjin suggested, noticing the dirt everywhere.
"Who's that?" Pinkie butted in, pressing cheeks with Sjin and looking around with him.
"Pale-skinned lumberjack with black hair, likes dirt, big money, big women, and big fun." it was a highly accurate description of the real/best guy, as he called himself.
"Ohhhhh, that guy, yeah, I saw him a couple blocks back trying to drown himself in the town's fountain, silly guy, doesn't he know that it would take a lot more water than six inches to drown himself?" Pinkie giggled at the recent memory.
Sjin's eyes went wide, if Sips was trying to drown himself, did he already believe fully in the 'being in a Minecraft character's body'? Did he hate this place and think that if he drowned and died, he would respawn somewhere else?
"He's trying to * kill** himself,* this is no laughing matter!" the farmer panicked, running off.
A few seconds later he came back, "Uh, where's the fountain?" he sheepishly asked.
"That way, then a right, then go straight," Pinkie instructed, making hoof gestures to help her direction-giving-abilities.
Sjin nodded and ran off again.
"Hey, Pinkie?" Simon started, leaning over to her.
"That's my name!" the pink mare cheered, bouncing next to him.
"Yeah I know, um, did you just get a feeling like something really bad is going to happen?" the dwarf asked, watching the distant brunette make a turn.
"No?" the blue-eyed earth pony replied, in truth, she had been thinking about fudge.
"Well I did, and it's awful , absolutely awful . I think someone, or somepony, is going to die, to be honest," he sighed, checking his inventory.
A diamond battle-ax, a diamond pickaxe, a stack of TNT, a flint and steel, a bed, and...
In the other twenty seven slots were twenty seven stacks of Jaffa Cakes.
His eyes lit up like Christmas, not himself on Christmas, but actually Christmas itself.
"Well, Sjin can deal with Sips' ballsing it up, I'll just have a snack, or two, or ten," the portly brit said, excusing himself to a nearby bench to start stuffing his face-hole.
-Meanwhile, with Sips-
"Drowning is hard. Fuck, how am I going to get somewhere else really fast now?" the pale man sat up from the fountain's water, "Man, being only a dhampir instead of a full Dracula-spawn is tough, I could have just burned up in the daylight if I was full." it was unknown whether this was just part of his Minecraft character's secret background, or if Sips had actually already lost his goddamn mind.
"SIIIIPS! SIPS! Don't do it! You have so... much... to live for...hmph" Sjin felt a little disappointed at the fact that he had not saved Sips, but rather Sips had saved himself.
"Hey Sjin, what are you doing here ya son of a gun?" the raven-haired man asked, his mood brightening slightly
"Well, I was hoping, fingers crossed, that I would save you from drowning yourself, so I came running, but you just sat up and saved yourself, so I feel a bit foolish and like I made a bit of an ass of myself," Sjin revealed, blushing slightly in embarrassment
"I did want to, but I've decided to just leave, I don't like it here Sjin, I don't, this place seems like it was made to entertain big babbies," the lumberjack mocked, gesturing, specifically with his middle fingers, to all of his surroundings.
"Heyyyyy, hey now, I've decided that I quite like this place, it's nice, the ponies are nice," Sjin argued, feeling a little uncomfortable with this situation, he had only met one pony, an old one at that, so what could be said for any of the other ponies?
"Have you become actually gay now? Look at this place! It's for little girls! Are you a little girl Sjin?" Sips shouted, his feelings had been boiling inside of him until finally they were now bursting forth with great intensity.
Sjin stayed silent for several seconds, waiting for anything else to come, he was used to getting yelled at by Sips, it was never anything personal.
Well, usually not.
But now it was.
-With Lewis-
"So, come with me..." the mirth in the blue-eyed man's voice had all but vanished, leaving nothing but a monotone disappointment.
"Where do you wish to go?" Celestia asked, her tone staying steady, but she could feel several auras coming off of the adventurer, auras that comforted and horrified her.
Grabbing Celestia by the horn, Lewis focused his vision, using her horn and a spark of magic to set his hair on fire.
He could see everything for a few moments, everything everywhere everytime ever, then he was left with a head of grayish-black hair, trying to light it again would leave him bald. Using his new knowledge, the brit used Celestia's magic to teleport himself and her to Ponyville.
Luna followed suit with her own midnight blue teleport
--
Appearing in bright flashes of fiery orange and midnight blue light, the white alicorn took a step back from the man in fear. Luna just watched, popcorn at the ready.
Lewis' eyes were alight with a mixture of fire and ice and rage.
-With Rythian-
The mage looked around, he could feel something coming, the air became suffused with grayish-brownish-rainbow light, he could feel nothing, everything, and all things in between for a moment, then something erupted.
He and Zoey had been right in front of Ponyville's Town Hall, suddenly it started raining brown sand over a small area, piling it up into a small T shape.
"Wait, that's soul sand, so... shit RUN!" Rythian shouted as he began sprinting away from the construct.
"Wait, Rythian WHAT'S GOING ON?" the brunette shouted after him, not moving from her spot.
The soul sand was in place, then came down the black clouds that rained them.
"What is this thing?" she wondered, looking at the huge thing, seeing it from her own eyes was jarring, these were Minecraft blocks, and those clouds looked like skulls.
"Um, Rythian, HELP! I NEED HELP!" she tried to back away, but her legs wouldn't respond, she was paralyzed with fear at the sight of the Wither Boss.
And then Zoey exploded, again.
-Rythian and Simon-
"...okay your tallness aside, you just left her there?" Simon rebuked, poking the Ender Mage in the knee.
"I told her to run!" Rythian half-heartedly countered, feeling a bit bad.
"HEY HONEYDEW! HEY RYTHIAN!" Duncan shouted, running towards the source of these waves of necrotic energy.
"Duncan's here too? And Sips and Sjin? Lewis, and you, and Zoey, wow, there's no way this wasn't planned, one is an anomaly, two is a coincidence, three is a pattern, and seven is one hell of a pattern," the tall man deduced.
"Actually, I think it was just my sneezing that did this, there's too much chaos in the town by the way," Discord said, appearing in a flash of his own lights of teleportation.
"HO-LY SHIIIIIT, DISCORD! Wait, something bad is going to happen, I just know it!" Simon may have been a broken clock when it came to being smart, but even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Little did SImon know, a great bomb was about to explode.