As I come to, I notice that I am wet and cold Wonderful, I fell for some trick and got mugged or some- no, everything is here... even that weird necklace I put the necklace in my pocket and pull out a new cigarette to get over my backache and flick my Zippo

Nothing

"Oh right, I was going to buy more fluid at the convenience store, now how am I going to get out of... where the hell am I?" I ask, not expecting an answer "My cave; who are you, what are you, and why are you messing with a metal box?" a female voice answers from behind me

"Uh, Clark Peterson, who are yo-OH MY GOD!" right behind me is a huge ice blue lizard with solid light green eyes staring down at me from a pile of huge gems

"Why are you yelling? You act as if you've never seen a dragonesse before" she says, grabbing me by the back of my jacket

"D-dragonesse? Dragons don't exist!" I yell, then I remember my position, and try to retract my statement "Well, what are you then? A very odd looking monkey?" she asks, smirking

"Human... and uh... could you put me down please? I would like to know that the ground is below me" I ask, waving my legs

"Hmmmm... No, I don't think I will. Now, could you stop stop staring at me? It is very creepy"

"Well, this is the first time I've seen a dragon in my life! A real, live, DRAGON! And who knew that dragons were so-" she places me on the ground

"Repulsive? Yes, I know, you must want to run or whatever back to humanland. You no longer interest me, begone" She walks (what do you call it when a dragon walks away?) away and onto a smaller pile of gems.

Looking around at the gems, there are thousands of them sparkling in the light If I sell a few of these, I'll be set for life! I grab a large red one when something hits me These look like rupees... and there are even green and blue ones, and thousands of them... probably not valuable and I need to know something

Crawling over the crystals, I approach the dragon(esse) and stand in front of her "I was going to say beautiful, I always imagined dragons as huge brutes with slitted eyes and fire breath, you look like a goddess in dragon form to me" I wonder if I'm laying it on too thick

She opens her mouth and blows a white stream of fire to my left "Convinced? Now go away. I wish to be alone, and you no longer-"

"Interest you, I heard you the first time, and I am still not convinced you are a dragon. For all I know, I could be dreaming right now. And I've told you my name, what is yours?" I sit across from her, my arms crossed

"...I have none, I am alone. Now leave" she grunts, turning away

I get up, my back killing me with each step "Nope, now, if you are a dragon, light my smoke" I figure if she has fire breath, I could get some pain relief

She opens one eye and flicks my chest, launching me back a few feet

"F***! That really hurt! All I asked for was a light!" I yell, rubbing my worsened back

"No, leave or I will crush you" she sits up, looking down at me "Don't you have a family or something to go back to?" she asks, crossing her arms, then I see the more human traits

And by "traits" I mean pert, round boobs, and a very white-ish dragonhood "Aphrodite must really like you to give a b**** like you that kind of body" I say, looking at her chest

"Answer my question human" she growls

"No, at least, none that I want to deal with, and no place to call home, so you're stuck with me" I reply

"My face is up here, idiot" she says, lowering her body back down

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!! I was enjoying that!"

"What is it with these things? Everytime I try to speak with another of my kind, they always stare at them. Idiots all of them..." she mutters, combing back her ice blue hair with a claw

"Uh, you were gorgeous before but now you really must be a goddess to be endowed like that" I say, approaching her head

"What are you-oh" I run a hand along her scaled face "S-stop that! I-oh... that's nice..." she closes one eye like a cat, yawning slightly, exposing her sharp teeth

I decide to move my hand to her snout, rubbing the... Soft? scales, when some of them turn pinkish

"Are you blushing?" I ask, when her eye opens, the cool green of her irises like cold emerald pools "And if I am? What does it matter? And if you stop your touching again for a stupid question, I will flick you into a wall" she closes her eyes as I continue my rubbing, when I notice her relax

"So, why is a dragonesse like you alone in such a big cave?" I ask, moving to her forehead

"I chose to seclude myself, I never liked the company of other dragons and being alone is quiet and I am not alone" she sighs, I stick my cigarette out and it caches, the smell of pot filling my nostrils "What is that smell?"

"Pot smoke, sorry, I have a bad back and it helps. Sorry about the smell, I would burn some incense 'cause my landlord hated the smell" But then again, after cooking crack and meth for decades, you would think he wouldn't HAVE a sense of smell I muse in my head, not noticing the dragon next to me coughing

"Well whatever it is, put it out!" she yells, poking me in the back

"Fine..." I put it out on her finger "OW! What the blazes was that for?!" she yells, blowing fire on it

"What's wrong? I thought dragons were immune to fire!" I exclaim, noticing the small scorch mark disappear in the white flames

"I am not a fire dragon, I am a healing dragon, rare and hunted from birth by both ponies and dragons alike. Why else do you think that I am alone?! I am hunted by both because of my powers and it infuriates me! I have only my claws to fight with! I can't breath fire, I breath purifying flames!" she lays back down on her gem bed and grabs my arm, and places it on her hand

Unlike her head, her hand is cool to the touch, and smooth instead of soft "Uh... I'm sorry about the whole putting my cigarette out on your hand thing. Hey, would your breath fix my back?" I ask, running my hand over the scales

"... How should I know? It might, it might not" she sighs

"Could you try?" I ask, hoping to get some relief

"You are too small, I would burn you... but I could make myself smaller but I won't. If I have to deal with a pain like you, you have to deal with your pain" she smirks, letting out a wisp of flame to taunt me

"I don't believe you" I say, trying reverse psychology

"You can't trick me into doing it you know" She opens her eyes and looks down at me

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes" she replies, eyes glinting

"Then how about this?!" I run for her exposed neck and grab one of her breasts, which is the size of a beach ball (remember, she is 18 feet tall and he is 6' foot) and begin to squeeze it, trying to trick her into hitting herself

What happened next surprised me

"Aaahhhhnnnn... noooooo~" she moans, back arching

Is she... enjoying this? I ask myself, tightening my grip "MMMNnnnn~ if you don't stop I'll... I'll... AH!" her body glows white blue and I drop, watching as her form seems to shrink in front of me

What in the name of Deep thought is happening?

Author's Note

steel, hope you like this, because next chapter might get a little hot