Chapters Chapter 1: Prank
Shadows danced across the basement floor, the room illuminated by nothing but a few pitiful torches on the walls and by Twilight’s horn. In the centre of the room, right in front of her, stood a table covered with scientific-looking tools and numerous flasks of multicoloured liquids.
Just a little to the left, Twilight, a little to the left... Pinkie Pie snickered, crouching behind a few boxes by the stairs. She’d been stuck there for quite a while now, an hour at least, but all the waiting was finally going to pay off. Twilight’s horn stopped glowing and her hoof landed on a little blue box. About time she used it. I need to visit Applejack today too ; I have a schedule to keep! Pinkie’s eyes tracked the small container as it neared one of the flasks, like the eyes of a kitten following a ball of yarn, while Twilight’s magic kept scribbling something down on a sheet of paper.
Yes, Twilight, now go on, try adding it... Twilight leaned in and tilted the box. Instead of the sulphur that the box’s label claimed it to contain, however, small particles of something unidentifiable filled the air.
“Surprise!” Pinkie jumped up from her hiding place.
Twilight gasped, inhaling the particles, and sneezed right onto her concoction. As her hoof rose towards her mouth, it tipped over the flask and flooded the various notes she had lying there. “No. No, no, no, no! Achoo! ” Twilight started pulling the papers, glassware and equipment from the table.
“Sneezing powder! You didn’t expect that, huh? Did ya? Did ya?” Pinkie hopped closer, putting her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder.
Twilight shook it off, glaring at her. “What are you– Achoo! Sneezing pow– Achoo! Pinkie, you can’t be ser– Achoo! Help me with this!”
“Come on, Twi. It’s just a lil’ bit of a mess; nothing a bit of drying in the sun wouldn’t fix.” Pinkie reached towards one of the wet notes. “Look, I’ll–”
“No! Don’t touch it!” Twilight caught Pinkie’s hoof and then shoved her away. “Are– Achoo! Are you blind?”
“Blind?” Pinkie frowned and looked at the table again. Some strange, whitish smoke started lifting from the liquid, which hissed like water falling on a red hot cooking range. “That’s some weird stuff you have there.”
“It’s a strong acid! Achoo! My research, it’s all rui– Achoo! How do I stop this stupid sneezing?”
Pinkie gulped. “You... You have to wait for a few minutes. Then it goes away.”
Twilight motioned towards the expanding puddle on the table. “I don’t have a few minutes!” She started levitating a large stack of notes away, but sneezed again and watched as they fell right in the middle of the mess. “No! ” She reached towards them, but Pinkie pulled her away in time.
“I’m sorry, Twilight. I didn’t know you were working with something so dangerous.”
Twilight took a deep breath before running back to the table and continued her rescue efforts. “No, you didn’t, and you still don’t! Achoo! ”
“Of course I do. You already told me, silly!”
Twilight growled, her hoof thudding against the table. “No, you don’t! Do you see that flask I put down first?”
Pinkie looked on the ground and saw a small glass of something orange. “Uh-huh.”
“Well– Achoo! ” Twilight wiped her muzzle. “Well that ” – she pointed at the flask – “is a strong explosive. If I’d knocked that one over– Achoo! If I’d knocked that one over, we’d both be seriously injured or... or worse! ”
“Oh.” Pinkie bowed her head. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to play a little prank on you. You know, to lift your mood.”
“Well good job!” She rolled her eyes. “I couldn’t be happier!”
Pinkie lift her head and smiled. “Really?”
“No! I can’t believe this.” She paused. “Huh, no sneeze. Still, couldn’t you see I was in the middle of an experiment?”
“Well, I did.” Pinkie scratched her head. “But you also seemed awfully lonely and glum. I mean you’ve been locked in here the whole day. I didn’t think–“
“Didn’t think what? That I wouldn’t mind having my sulphur replaced with a stupid sneezing powder? That I wouldn’t mind, even if the solution was stable, adding it to the flask and wasting a whole day of research?”
“I hadn’t thought about that.”
“Exactly!” Twilight threw down the last, wet remains of her notes and scoffed as they began to hiss and disappear before her very eyes. “That’s the problem with you, Pinkie. You don’t think!”
“Of course I do. If I didn’t think, I couldn’t have thought out this prank.”
“Oh, give me a break! This childish nonsense hardly counts – tell me, when was the last time you thought about the consequences of your actions? When did you ever stop to think before doing something?”
Pinkie looked down at the ground.
“You haven’t, have you? Just like I thought!”
“W-well, that’s not true!” Pinkie looked back up. “I do think about stuff, I just can’t remember the last time.”
Twilight sneered. “Yeah, right. Can’t help you with that, but I can at least tell you about the last time you didn’t think – it was exactly when you went ahead and destroyed a whole month of my work!”
“I already said I’m sorry. You don’t have to be so mean!”
Twilight took a deep breath again. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry. But... a month of work!” She leaned against the wall and slowly slid onto her rump. “Pinkie, I need to calm down a bit. Please, leave me alone for now, or I might say something even worse.”
Pinkie nodded, her ears drooping. “Are you sure you don’t want me to help you clean up?”
“I still need to neutralise the acid; you’d only burn yourself. Please, just go. We can talk tomorrow.”
Pinkie plodded outside, looking behind at Twilight several times. She stopped by the basement’s door and cleared her throat. “Twilight, you know I do think, right?”
Twilight stared at her silently.
“Right?”
“Of course.” Twilight cracked a smile and waved her hoof. “But now go. I’m really not in the mood for more talking.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie grinned and closed the door. There, her grin turned upside down. She might think she’s smart, but it takes a lot more than smarts to fool Pinkamena Diane Pie! She trotted towards the Sugarcube Corner, kicking a rock which happened along her path. She doesn’t think I think at all!
“Hello, Pinkie.” Mr. Cake stood in the kitchen, kneading dough. “Why the long face?”
Pinkie moved right past him, climbing the stairs by three at a time, and locked herself in her room. There, she collapsed on her bed and let out a loud groan. After a while of lying there, she lifted her head and furrowed her brow. Well, I do think when I want to, and guess what? I’m going to prove it by thinking harder than ever before !
Chapter 2: Party
The following morning had a pleasant, chilly air to it, robbing Pinkie of any sleepiness the moment she opened the door. She looked at the sunny skies and the ponies strolling in the town square, making the first step forward with a smile. Wake up, walk out, buy groceries, walk back, bake. It was merely the daily routine, but that didn’t spoil it for her in the least – after all, who knew who she would run into along the way? Meeting a friend was always a good thing, and everypony in Ponyville was her friend.
She walked up to Applejack’s stand, waving at ponies left and right, until she was face to face with the owner herself. Or rather face to hat, as Applejack had her Stetson pulled over her brow, her back leaning on a barrel full of apples. “Hiya, Applejack.”
“Heya, Pardner,” Applejack said without looking up, yawning. “Groceries as usual?”
“Yep. Today I only need some apples. We’ve got enough of other things for now.”
“Well just go ahead and pick some. One bit each piece, as usual.”
Pinkie started taking apples from the top of the barrel, but then stopped and scratched her chin. Seconds later, she began digging through it, jamming her hoof as far down as she could. Whenever she pulled out an apple, she compared it with others, sometimes throwing it back, sometimes keeping it.
Applejack lifted her hat. “What are you doin’ there, Pinkie? You’ll bruise the apples if you fiddle with them too much!”
“Sorry, Applejack. I’m just trying to pick the biggest and reddest ones. You see, I figured that if I pick the largest and sweetest in there, I won’t need so many for the baking and might save a few bits.”
“Don’t you usually just pick apples from the top? You know, like everypony else?”
“Yes.” Pinkie pulled out one twice the size of her hoof and smiled. “But today, I’m going to try thinking extra hard about everything.”
Applejack raised her brow. “Really now? Well, I reckon it’s your right as a customer to pick whichever you want, but as I said – don’t damage them, okay?”
“Sure.” Pinkie shoved her hoof down into the barrel’s depths despite Applejack’s wincing.
After about ten minutes of monotone picking and comparing, Pinkie had her saddlebags full to the brim with apples and, unlike other days, still had a few bits left. On one hoof, it was the Cakes’ money, so she should have returned it.
On the other, they don’t expect them back anyway. Hmm... Her face lit up like a light bulb. I could buy them a surprise gift! Now, how many exactly do I have to spare? Pinkie peeked inside a pouch next to the saddlebag, several golden pieces shimmering before her eyes. Oh, golly! See, Twilight? I can think! She set out towards the toy shop in an upbeat trot.
The business was a small one, with only a few dolls, wooden cars, yo-yos, and similar. With the confident stride of a frequent visitor, she aimed straight for the doll section. A plushy will also make Pound and Pumpkin happy, so that’s a bonus! Soon, she was hopping back home with a grin on her face and a plush snake around her neck.
“Well would you look at that,” a stallion standing nearby said as she went past him.
“Hello there, Dumb-Bell. How’s it going?”
“Oh, just great, Pinkie. It’s always nice seeing a hard worker like you shopping for some essentials, ” he said, and the pony next to him, Hoops, snickered.
“Thanks! It’s nice seeing you two too.” Pinkie hopped onwards, humming a cheerful melody to herself, whereas the two males went into a laughing fit.
Weird. What was so funny about it? Probably nothing. She continued her hum. Then again, I did say I’ll think about stuff more, so let’s see. Pinkie replayed the scene a few times in her head. He said that I’m a hard worker. He thinks so because... because... She furrowed her brow. Because he knows how often I bake stuff! Mystery solved. The previous grin found its way back on her face and her brow relaxed.
But... he never really complimented me before. And I wasn’t really baking now. I was just... Pinkie stopped dead in her tracks. “Did you mean I was slacking?” She turned around, but Dumb-Bell and his friend were both gone. “I-I wasn’t! I was just buying a gift.” Pinkie looked towards the full city square. “I’m not slacking off! I’m just buying a present!”
The passers-by continued walking, throwing her a sideway glance at best. Pinkie’s expression darkened, like a sun overtaken by clouds, as she made her way back to the Sugarcube corner.
———
“Hi, Sweetie Belle,” Pinkie said as the bakery’s doorbell announced another customer.
“Hello, Pinkie!” Sweetie came to the counter and placed a few bits on top of it. “Rarity sent me to buy some bread.”
“Sure, I’ll go get it.” Pinkie pushed herself off the counter, getting on all fours, and sighed.
“Is something wrong?”
Pinkie nodded, her head sagging. “I think it is.”
“Well what’s the problem then?”
“If someone thought you did something you didn’t,” Pinkie said, trudging towards the back, “and then laughed at you for it, what would you do?”
Sweetie frowned. “Are you being bullied?”
“What?” Pinkie spun around. “No way! That’s... that’s too strong. Somepony just called me lazy, because he thought I was slacking off. But I wasn’t. But he thinks so and it makes me all tingly inside. The bad kind of tingly.”
“That’s just rude. To call you lazy like that, I mean. You always say that everypony in Ponyville is your friend, right?”
“Sure.”
“Well, that’s not what friends do.” Sweetie started rubbing her chin. “Unless they’re really good friends. Then they can act mean, but you know they’re just messing with you. Like Applebloom and Scootaloo. That makes sense, right?”
“No.”
“Well, uh... is he a good friend of yours?”
Pinkie scratched her head. “Like a really, really, really, really good friend like Applejack or Fluttershy, or just a really good friend like Lyra?”
“The first one.”
“Well... no. Me and Dumb-Bell don’t really talk too often.”
“It was Dumb-Bell?” Sweetie scowled. “Everyone knows he’s just a big, stupid featherbrain. He always was, Rarity says. Don’t take anything he told you seriously.”
“But... do you think I should explain everything to him the next time we see each other?”
“To him? Pfft. Even if you did, he’d just ignore it. Like when I said I can’t cast any real spells because I’m way too young for that, and he kept telling everypony I’m just an earth pony with an ice cream cone on her head.” Sweetie’s ears drooped. “Diamond Tiara heard it and wouldn’t let it go until sis came knocking on her parents’ door. Don’t even bother talking to him. I bet he knew he was being mean.”
“A meanie then, huh?” Pinkie furrowed her brow. “Well, if you say so.” She walked into the kitchen. “I’ll bring you your bread.”
When she came back, she saw Sweetie staring at a cupcake behind the counter’s glass. “You want one?”
Sweetie hung her head. “I don’t really have the bits for it.”
Pinkie waved her hoof and placed the cupcake on the desk. “Just take it.”
Sweetie grabbed both it and the bread, immediately sticking the treat into her mouth. “Thahns. You’e the beft.” She then trotted outside.
Well, at least somepony thinks so.
After a few minutes, the doorbell rang again. “Hello, and welco– Dumb-Bell?”
The stallion in question walked in, looking around and cocking his brow. “Yeah, I’ll have a strawberry tart.”
Pinkie put the dessert on the counter with a thud. “Did you come to apologise?”
“Apologise? What for?”
She stomped, leaning over the desk. “Because you said I’m slacking off and that’s mean!”
“Slacking off?” He smirked. “Where did you get that one from?”
Pinkie retracted, her brow raised. “You mean you didn’t? But... why did you tell me I’m a hard worker back in the morning then?”
“Can’t I just give a compliment to a clever mare like you?” He smiled and gave her a few bits, taking the tart.
“I... I guess. But Sweetie told me you like to say mean things often.”
“Sweetie?” He furrowed his brow. “Isn’t that, like, a filly or something?”
“Yeah.”
“So, before making an opinion on a pony, you ask a filly for advice?” He shrugged. “Great minds think alike, I guess.” He turned around and left.
‘Great minds think alike?’ What did he... Pinkie scowled and ran to the door. “Hey!” she shouted at the retreating figure. “You’re a big meanie-pants, you know? You better not come back here until you apologise!”
All she got in return was laughter. “Like that’s gonna happen!”
“W-well, you know what? Meanies have no place among my friends!” Pinkie squeezed her eyelids together and took a deep breath. “That’s right. Until you apologise, you’ll be the only pony in Ponyville that isn’t my friend!”
Dumb-Bell stopped, turned around, and scoffed. “That’s what you think? Like, seriously?” Pinkie gave a small nod, and he went into yet another fit of his creaky laughter. “You... you really are a funny one. I think I’ll call you Pinkie Clown from now on!”
Pinkie could feel heat rising throughout her entire body, her face reddening. “That’s not even funny!”
“Whatever you say, Pinkie Clown. ‘Look at me’” – he started speaking in a high-pitch voice – “‘I’m a silly pink pony and all the ponies in Ponyville are my friends! I know because they told me they were.’” He laughed yet again. “I gotta tell this to Hoops and Score. Later, Clown. ” He resumed his trot and turned at the nearest corner.
‘Told me they were?’ Pinkie looked down on her hooves. What did he mean? And why was he being so cruel? I never did anything bad to him as far as I know. She walked back in, her eyes moistening, and slowly closed the door. Did he say those mean things to me even befor e, without me noticing? She looked at the square through the glass panelling. Are there more ponies like him? With a sigh, she turned the door sign to ‘Closed’ and walked outside again.
———
“So, everything’s okay between us?” Pinkie asked. She was sitting in an armchair at the library, looking Twilight in the eyes as she laid her hooves on the coffee table between them.
Twilight nodded. “Yes. It was just an accident, after all. Even though you are still to blame for it, it’s obvious you didn’t mean to destroy my research along with numerous expensive devices that’ll take me ages to replace.” She winced.
“I’m sorry.” Pinkie’s ears drooped. “But I wanted to talk with you about something else too.”
“Oh? About what?”
“Well... do you know Dumb-Bell?”
Twilight scratched her chin. “I think I heard that name already, but that’s about it. So, no. Why?”
“Doesn’t matter.” Pinkie bit her lip. “Listen, is it possible... I mean do you think it’s likely... No. How would you feel if I told you... Uh...”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Pinkie, just tell me what’s the problem.”
“Well... I’ve been thinking like you told me to.”
“Good.” Twilight nodded and circled her hoof, motioning her to continue.
“I’ve been thinking – what if some of the ponies that are my friends actually aren’t. ”
Twilight furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe they just act all friendly, but are actually really mean and laugh at me even though I never did anything to them because they just feel like it, which is not how a friend acts at all!” Pinkie crossed her front legs and pouted.
“Did that Dumb-Bell guy do that to you? I remember now that Rainbow Dash once told me she didn’t like him.”
“He called me a clown.”
Twilight cocked her brow. “What for?”
“For saying that everypony in Ponyville is my friend.” Pinkie sank in her seat. “He was really mean to me for no reason at all. Why would anypony do that?”
“I don’t know, Pinkie.” Twilight reached across the small coffee table and put her hoof on Pinkie’s. “Have you tried asking him?”
“He just denied everything, and then said I’m no smarter than a filly!”
“I’m sure there is a way to work things out between you two.”
“I tried, Twilight, I did!” Pinkie threw her hooves in the air. “But when I told him he should apologise, he just laughed at me, and then I... then I...” Tears appeared in Pinkie’s eyes as her hooves lowered and her head sagged.
Twilight’s expression melted like scientific notes in acid, forming into a weak, calming smile. “I’m sorry, Pinkie, it must have been horrible. Try letting it go. You and everypony else knows it’s not true.”
“But– but what if everypony doesn’t? I thought about it, and if Dumb-Bell thinks I’m a clown, what if others do too?”
“I’m sure you’d notice if that was the case.”
“That’s the problem, Twilight.” Pinkie frowned. “I’ve known Dumb-Bell for years and never noticed this. Only after he outright told me.”
“Well, maybe he just started acting like this lately?”
Pinkie shook her head. “Sweetie told me everypony knows he’s just a big meanie and that he always was. How come only I didn’t? How come even a filly knows more than I do?”
Twilight stood up and walked towards Pinkie’s armchair, sitting on its handle and hugging Pinkie with her hoof. “Come on, Pinkie,” she said quietly. “You know that’s not true. You just didn’t notice it right away; that can happen to anypony.”
“I didn’t notice for years!” Pinkie leaned into Twilight’s embrace. “I always thought everypony in Ponyville was my friend, but that’s not true anymore. What if it turns out there are many, many more like him and that I’m just a big, stupid clown that doesn’t realise she’s being laughed at all the time?” She started sobbing.
“Shh.” Twilight tightened her hug and started stroking her back. “Is it because I shouted at you yesterday? Combined with that Dumb-Bell being true to the first part of his name, it’s no wonder it made you feel insecure.” Pinkie continued sobbing.
“How about a party?” Twilight asked. “You can invite the entire town – except for Dumb-Bell, of course – and just look at how happy the guests are to have you as a friend. I’m sure you’ll find out you’re as beloved as ever.”
Pinkie rubbed her eyes and sniffed. “And Dumb-Bell really won’t be there?”
“You know what? If he shows up, I’ll levitate him into the nearest trash can for how he acted towards you. Literally. How does that sound?”
“You’d really do that?”
“Sure.”
“Alright then.” Pinkie cracked a little smile. “But make sure he doesn’t want to apologise first, okay? Because if he does, I’ll forgive him.”
“Of course.” Twilight ended her embrace. “Now, let’s get down to planning everything.”
———
“Welcome to the Pinkie-is-happy-to-have-friends party! I hope you have great fun.” Pinkie stood by Sugarcube Corner’s entrance, shaking hooves with about the fiftieth pony that night. It seemed like all of Ponyville – except for one particular pegasus – was there.
“Do you like the music? Does the punch need refilling? Are you having a good time?” The party was in full swing, the entire building – except for the Cakes’ bedroom – turning into one large fun-factory, with ponies dancing like crazy in the middle of the main room, serving themselves snacks and some ‘harder’ drinks in the kitchen, and most importantly, having a blast. Or at least that’s how it seemed.
But what seems like something doesn’t actually have to be that way. While she was usually in the middle of the improvised dance floor, showing off her ‘new moves,’ today she stuck to the side-lines, rather observing the party than participating in it.
“Hey, Pinkie!” a familiar voice shouted. “Wanna join the drinking contest?”
“Sorry, Dashie. Not tonight.” I need a clear head.
“Suit yourself. The less competitors, the higher chance to win, right, AJ? AJ? How dare you start without me?”
Pinkie trotted towards the nearest dancer. “Great party, huh?”
“You joking? Not just great, awesome! You’re the best!”
Pinkie nodded and moved towards the kitchen, listening to the conversations around her.
“...and then I said ‘Big? Hah! This is how big looks like! Yours isn’t even...’”
“...hurt when you fell from heaven? ‘Cause your face looks kinda messed up...”
“...the fault of those darn minotaurs, I tell ya. Strollin’ around like... like they own the damned place with their big... muscles and all...”
So far just the regular party-talk. No talking about me behind my back. Maybe Dumb-Bell really was the only meanie in Ponyville?
Pinkie watched the drinking competition for a while and, seeing nopony badmouthed her there either, took a shot or two as well.
Half an hour later, she was in her usual party mode. She swept the dance floor with her amazing skills, tried being a DJ, fired the party cannon, but stayed away from the liquors still. True, she did get a bit tipsy, but no more than that. If ponies were to talk about her in positive light, she wasn’t going to miss it by drinking herself under the table.
She was just walking to the attic, aka the party’s game centre, when she heard a crash and a stream of curses from her room.
“...guess I’ll have to... have to... uh... what’s the word... pay for it now,” a voice from the other side said.
“Don’t be ride... ridica... ridiculi... crazy, Score.”
Score? Then the other one must be Hoops! Pinkie pressed her ear against the door.
“I break something like... like every, ‘xcept not completely every, party,” Hoops said. “Like, it’s not my fault those things got in my way! I mean everypony can... can see I’m drunk, so they should just move the things away from me!”
“Yeah! And what then? Do you pay?”
“Me?” Hoops let out a drunken guffaw. “Why would I pay when it’s not my... my fault? Pinkie Pie does, since she’s... she’s the one responsible for this, right?”
“You mean Pinkie Clown? ”
“Yeah... I just... just can’t remember everything Dumb-Bell says.”
There was a pause. He... he told them? But that’s two more...
“Hey,” Hoops said. “Hey, Score.”
“Yeah?”
“Wanna hear a secret?”
“I guess?”
“I think Dumb-Bell... I think he’s an idiot. Like... a big one. Cuz... I mean he pissed her off enough to not get invited? That’s... that’s like really, really hard to do. And it’s dumb. All you gotta do is... all you gotta do is just apologise and look sorry, and you can get away with anything! A-ny-thing! Like, really.”
W-what? That’s not true! Pinkie bit her lip as her brows clashed. He... He didn’t mean it last time? But he looked so ashamed.
“You mean I don’t even have to hide this mess?”
“Nah.” Hoops chuckled. “You just gotta... gotta walk straight up to her, say you broke this... this... uh... what is it anyway?”
Pinkie heard the sound of pieces of glass clinking against each other.
“Some... picture,” Score said. “Photo.”
A photo? The only photo in my room is... You broke what? Pinkie scowled, the heat beginning to surge through her body just like earlier.
“Well, as I was saying. You just gotta walk straight up to her, say you broke this... this photo, and say you’re sorry. Maybe also pretend you’re gonna cry or something. Always works.”
Not this time! Pinkie swung the door open, glaring at them both.
“Oh, hey!” Score smiled. “I was just gonna get you. I think I broke this thing. Uh... sorry.” What appeared on his face was the poorest caricature of a frown Pinkie had ever seen. His lips curled downwards, sure, but the rest of his flushed face was still grinning at her.
“You broke my family photo?” Pinkie looked at the broken frame and scratched picture, her spine tingling like someone kept stinging it with fiery-hot needles. She spoke in a quiet voice while gritting her teeth, “You’ll have to pay for it.”
Score looked at Hoops, scratching his head. “You said I won’t have to. Were you... were you just trying to be funny or what?”
Hoops pushed Score behind him, stopping in front of Pinkie. “Watch me,” he whispered in a loud voice towards him before turning at her. “Score here is uh... very sorry– No!” He raised his hoof in the air like a teacher berating his students. “He feels downright... downright miserable for what he did. Just look at him!”
Score beamed at her from behind his friend’s back before he, with obvious effort, bent his lips down again.
“So... uh... if you’d just forgive him, that would be great. He didn’t want to break it, you see?”
Pinkie glared at him. “Sure I’ll forgive him. After he pays for the frame, glass, and photographer to make a picture of me and my family again.”
Hoops scratched his chin and turned back at Score, as if having trouble processing what she just told him. “But... uh... he said he was sorry.”
“I know. But he still has to pay for the damage. A ‘sorry’ won’t pay the photographer.”
Hoops grimaced. “Listen... everypony knows you always pay for the broken stuff if we apologise.”
Pinkie smirked, but her eyes remained cold. “Well, I guess not this time.”
“What? ” Hoops stuck his head closer to hers, almost giving her a headbutt. “You do it for everypony, but not for my friend here? How’s that fair?”
“And how is pretending to be sorry fair?” Pinkie stomped with her hoof, piercing him with her gaze. “Yes, I know you weren’t sincere! Do you think I’m stupid?”
The two stallions exchanged looks, their lips quivering.
“You do, don’t you?” She pulled Hoops closer to her, pressing her forehead against his. “The bits.”
Hoops tore himself from her grasp, sneering. “Hay no. You ain’t getting anything from me and not from Score either. Right, Score?”
“Yeah!” Score nodded vigorously. “If you paid for his mess, pay for mine too!”
Veins started to become visible on Pinkie’s forehead. “Leave. Now. I don’t want to see either of you at any of my parties from now on.”
Hoops started laughing, but once his eyes met hers, he stopped and his features hardened. His stare suddenly became cold, menacing even, and the drunken blush on his face seemed to recede. “You know what? No. Me and Score will go wherever we damn please, and there’s not a single thing you can do about it. Hay, we might even bring Dumb-Bell with us – he looked pretty irked when he found out you didn’t invite him, you know? I bet he’d like to have a little chat with you.”
“Is that a threat? ”
Hoops shook his head, chuckling. “I don’t need to threaten you. What’s the point? I’ll just do whatever I want whether you’re scared or not. Let’s go, Score. I heard there’s a drinking contest downstairs, and that we don’t have to pay for the booze!” He pushed her aside, closely followed by his pal.
Pinkie stood alone in her room, staring at the broken picture and taking heavy breaths. The photo was an old one, with her and her sisters still being just fillies, and was just about the only thing she had to remember them by, apart from the fairly rare visits here and there. And now the ones who destroyed it and mocked her are sitting downstairs, guzzling her drinks. No... No I won’t allow this! I can’t! She galloped down the stairs, finding the two already sitting at the kitchen table and in the middle of pouring themselves a glass of scotch.
“Go away!” she shouted. “Leave! Now!”
The music stopped and everypony’s eyes turned towards her. Hoops stood up from the table, a scowl plastered on his face. “I thought I told you upstairs. We ain’t going anywhere.”
“It’s my party, and I don’t want you here!”
“Oh?” Hoops walked towards her and stared her in the eyes. “Well, I guess you’ll have to throw me out then.”
For the first time in her life, Pinkie felt a genuine urge to punch a pony in the face. She’d then use the element of surprise and slam his head against the table; she could practically see it in front of her eyes. Instead, she took a deep breath. “Twilight! ”
After just a little while, the mare in question pushed herself through the growing crowd of gapeseeds. “What’s going on in here?”
Pinkie jabbed her hoof in Hoops’s chest. “I told him and Score to leave, and they started threatening me!”
“Threatening?” Hoops looked at the gathered ponies. “Did I threaten her? I just said I won’t leave, because I don’t think it’s fair.”
“Fair? Fair? It’s more than fair after how you’ve acted!”
Twilight positioned herself in between them. “Could either of you tell me what exactly has happened?”
Hoops smiled. “Sure. Score here accidentally broke something upstairs, so we went to apologise to her. Then, all of a sudden, she started yelling at us and ordering us to leave.”
“What? ” Pinkie gasped. “I asked you to pay for what you broke, and you refused!”
“Because it’s unfair to Score. You always pay for everypony, but not for him?”
“His apology wasn’t sincere!”
Hoops pointed behind him. “I think he looks sincere enough.” Score sat at the table, staring in his empty glass and looking like he was just about to start crying.
Pinkie took a deep breath and grit her teeth. “Just pay up.”
The crowd started mumbling. “I broke a glass by accident,” some stallion said. “Do I have to pay for it?”
“I spilled my drink on the carpet. How much does cleaning cost?”
“You didn’t tell us we’ll have to pay this time. If I knew that, I would’ve been much more careful!”
Pinkie turned towards them. “No, that’s not what I meant. You don’t have to pay anything. Only they do.”
Twilight frowned. “Pinkie, this really sounds rather unfair. Why are they the only ones you want money from? Score looks like he’s really sorry.”
Pinkie’s lips began to quiver as she turned back to her. “B-but that’s not true. He wasn’t sincere at all upstairs.”
“How can you tell?” Hoops asked. “I mean really,” – he raised his voice – “does anypony here think she can tell when a pony is sincere and when not?” He leaned in close and spoke softly in her ear, “After all, Dumb-Bell was making fun of you for years , and you only noticed now.”
“Wha– But–” Pinkie looked across the sea of nodding faces, her eyes moistening.
“Listen, Hoops,” Twilight said. “Pinkie is right on one account – this is her party, and if she doesn’t want you here, you should go.”
Hoops snorted. “Fine. This party’s dead anyway. Let’s go, Score, and leave this arbitrary clown here.”
They left, but Pinkie could still feel the eyes of the crowd on her. “I wasn’t being unfair. They just... they said...” The crowd started mumbling.
Twilight sighed. “Maybe the party wasn’t a good idea after all. I’m sorry for suggesting it.”
“N-no. It wasn’t your fault. Hoops and Score...” The crowd’s eyes still wouldn’t leave her. “Why does nopony start the music again? Come on... why are you not partying?”
Tension filled the air in such quantities that one could bottle it up and sell for a tidy sum of bits. “I… I guess I had enough for one day. Carry on without me.” She briskly walked into her room, locked the door, and fell face-first into her pillow, sighing.
They all sided with them. None believed me, not even Twilight.
She hugged the pillow with all four of her legs and squeezed her eyes together. And Hoops and Score – they were even worse than Dumb-Bell! Saying all those things, calling me a clown and stupid, just… why? What did I ever do to them? She started weeping.
Why did nopony believe me? I made a party for them. They all said they liked me! But then Hoops started talking, and what did they do? Betrayed me, that’s what!
Her throat filled with bitterness when she thought back at it. They only said like me because I organised and paid for all those parties; that’s how it is! They were just using me, and I let them!
She bit the pillow, letting the tears flow freely. I’ll show them! If they’re all... all mean like that, there won’t be any more parties!
The music didn’t start again that night.
Chapter 3: Real Friends
The cold morning air bit at Pinkie’s flesh the moment she opened the door. As she trotted through the streets, giving her usual greetings, she noticed that she got greeted back fewer times than usual, and that the little groups of ponies she walked past tended to fall into hushed whispers.
Weird.
She looked at her shopping list and walked to the cherry stall, smiling at the burly owner. “Hello, can I buy some cherries?”
“Sure,” he said in a grumbling voice. “How many do you want?”
“Not many, just twenty. I want to spruce up a few cupcakes, you know?”
The vendor nodded and started loading the cherries into a paper cornet.
Something was... odd. Pinkie couldn’t put her hoof on it, but the way he hoof-picked them from the top of the barrel, always circling his hoof above it and picking one... Her eyes fell upon the large cherry by the barrel’s edge. Is he...?
“Hey, hold on a second!” Pinkie grabbed his hoof and pointed at the cherries. “Why are these cherries smaller than the others?”
“What are you talking about? They’re all the same!”
Pinkie looked at the cherries again. These are definitely smaller than the others! He’s… he’s being mean to me! “Are you trying to swindle me?”
“What? ”
“You might think I’m all stupid and arbitrary and a clown and whatever, but I won’t get cheated, nuh-uh! Pinkamena Diane Pie won’t let herself get robbed.”
He yanked his hoof from her grasp. “What the hay are you saying? That I’m some petty scammer? ” He shoved the cornet into her face. “They’re the same as any other!”
The little groups of ponies began pooling together, forming a small circle around the arguing pair. Now’s my chance. I’ll show them I’m no fool! And I’ll show them that they can’t just get away with being mean to me! Pinkie sneered at the stall owner. “Yeah, right. Guards! ”
“Shut up, girl! Are you crazy? They’re exactly the same!” He waved the ponies to come closer. “Come on, everypony. Take a look! Nothing but completely ordinary cherries; not bigger, not smaller than usual.”
Old Mr. Waddles peered over Pinkie’s back, while Junebug looked from the side. “Well...” she said. “I guess this one is a bit smaller than the rest. But just by a little. Half a millimetre at most.”
“And this one’s a bit bigger,” Mr. Waddles said, pointing at another cherry in the cornet. “It’s a completely regular bunch of cherries, I say.”
“What? But that’s...” Pinkie looked at the cherries again and then at the ones in barrel. They were just the same, sans the sole big one. “Well, I... I... Uh...” With each word, she seemed to shrink a little. “I guess I got... mistaken.”
Pinkie heard Daisy snicker behind her. “Yeah, and when you kicked Hoops and Score out yesterday, I bet that was a mistake too.”
“What? What does that have to do with anything?”
“It’s obvious what you were trying to do!” The vendor slammed his hoof onto the counter. “You wanted to scare me into giving you a discount! I get a few customers like this every once in few months, but girl, you take the cake!”
“No, that’s not true!”
“Oh yeah?” He leaned towards her. “Then tell me. What pony would even care whether the cherries are slightly smaller or not? The difference is minimal. Even if you really thought they were, you’d just buy them anyway if you had no other motive!”
Pinkie opened her mouth several times, but no sound came out. “I... I guess I thought...” Her voice was trembling.
“Thought what?”
“Thought that maybe you secretly had something against me and wanted to be mean to me without me noticing.” Pinkie bowed her head. “I... I guess I was wrong.”
“Why the hay would you think that anyway?”
“W-well, the party!”
“The party? Are you saying we were the ones being mean?” a male voice shouted from somewhere in the crowd. “Unbelievable!”
A mare standing next to Pinkie, Sassaflash, scoffed. “I’d be quiet about yesterday if I were you. You ruined the whole thing, and now this? ”
Pinkie’s brows clashed together. “Ruined? I was the one who organised it!”
“And then completely killed the whole thing,” Caramel said, and several ponies in the audience nodded. “If you didn’t like those two, you shouldn’t have invited them instead of making a scene.”
“B-but I didn’t know that! I only found out during it. They mocked me for being so forgiving!”
The stallion smirked. “Yeah. I bet a mare who makes a ruckus about the size of cherries got called out on being too forgiving. They had a different, more likely story.”
Pinkie’s face went pale. “What did they say?”
“That you just wanted to humiliate Dumb-Bell further. First, he’s the only one not invited, and then you throw out his friends? I thought they were just making stuff up, but it makes the most sense so far.”
“T-that’s a lie!” She looked around herself, at the scowling faces surrounding her, and shivered. “Leave me alone; it was a mistake!” She began galloping back to the bakery, bumping into the ponies that stood in her way. She almost couldn’t see the road over the tears in her eyes, and the shouts and remarks from behind her created a bitter, round dumpling in her throat.
———
I’m sure it can’t be like that. I mean I’ve known them half my life! Pinkie Pie trotted through the street, wearing a trench coat with the collar up and a fedora, which hid her now-straight mane. After all, should a strand of her pink tail or hair poke out, the disguise would’ve been ruined. They were mean to me because they thought I did something wrong. I’m sure they’ll realise it’s nonsense. It took her a few hours to get herself together after what had happened, but the Cakes were kind enough to give her some time off. I mean nopony would hold a grudge over this, right? I’ll apologise again, and everything will be fine.
The stall was close, and not a single pony seemed to give Pinkie a second glance. At least something worked for once.
The vendor was leaning against his barrels, discussing something with Rose. “...believe that?”
“I think it really was just a mistake,” Rose said. “I mean if she needed the money so badly, she wouldn’t have organised that party in the first place, right?”
Pinkie stopped and her ears perked up.
“One would think so, eh?” The vendor gave Rose a dark smile. “Have you ever wondered where she gets the money for these things?”
Pinkie continued walking, circling the stand and silently slipping behind the large stack of barrels.
“What do you mean?”
“Only that it’s hard to imagine being an assistant in a bakery could net her enough to afford it. Hay, one party like that would swallow everything I earn in a month . ”
“Well, she has to get the bits somewhere. ”
“Exactly!” The vendor clopped his hooves together. “Now, I don’t have any proof, but I think she’s getting it from the Cakes.”
What? Pinkie scowled.
“I mean you know how they were all the time,” the vendor said. “Wishing for a foal for years, and then she suddenly popped up – a friend asks Carrot Cake to take care of his little daughter, and their prayers are answered, right? I wouldn’t be surprised if all the food and drinks ‘on the house’ were actually ‘on the Cakes.’”
Pinkie could feel her stomach clench. W-what? That’s... that’s not true. He can’t actually think that!
“I... guess it’s possible,” Rose said, slightly nodding. “Still, if she had all this, why would she try to cheat you for a few stupid bits?”
“Heh-heh.” He tapped the side of his muzzle and leaned towards her. “Now, that’s the thing. The Cakes have their own kids now, right?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Well, let’s just say that bringing up twins can make a hole in the budget, and that, as we all saw yesterday, our dear pink friend isn’t exactly shaping up to be a model step-daughter. Maybe they decided it’s time to stop being a charity?”
B-bu-but...
Rose lowered her voice. “You mean they told her to pay for it herself?”
The vendor smiled again. “You said that, not I. But if that’s the case, I imagine she must be neck-deep in debt. I bet she’d want to cut back on some... expenses a bit then.”
Debt? Mom and dad still send me some allowance, I get a regular wage, and some of my friends chip in; that’s how I can afford it!
Rose tilted her head. “I guess that makes sense. But... come on. It’s Pinkie Pie we’re talking about. She wouldn’t try to cheat you.”
Pinkie sighed, her face lightening up a bit. Thank you, Rose. I knew you were a good friend.
The vendor cocked his brow. “Is that so? Well, if this were two days ago, I guess I’d agree, but I wouldn’t have thought she’d kick Hoops and Score out either. Not to mention I’ve been hearing some rumours about her slacking off when she thinks nopony’s looking and what not. You know, all those times she just ran off on an ‘adventure’ or something, and you enter an empty bakery. I can’t believe Carrot Cake puts up with that.”
Oh...
Pinkie bowed her head. This part was true, there was no denying it. Whenever something interesting was going on, she stopped whatever she was doing and galloped to take a look. More often than not it meant one of the Cakes was forced to take over all her duties.
On the other hoof, the Cakes had always managed to pull it off anyway, although they looked mighty exhausted afterwards. Still, they never complained.
He’s got a point. What if the Cakes don’t manage one day? And that they don’t complain doesn’t mean they don’t mind. What if... what if they were just waiting for me to apologise on my own all that time? I never actually did. Pinkie’s heart started racing. I’ve... I’ve never realised... Not even apologising, that’s... Oh my gosh. I am a slacker!
Without a moment to spare, Pinkie started galloping back towards the Sugarcube Corner.
———
“Welcome to the Sugarcube Corner, the home of the best treats and sweets in Ponyville. How can I help you?”
Sweetie stopped dead in her tracks and raised her brow. “Uh... Pinkie?”
“If I may suggest, how about a nice cream roll?” Pinkie pointed at the treat, her face stretched in an abnormally wide grin. “Or would you prefer a sweet roll? I’m sure a chocolate filled croissant would sate your appetite.”
Sweetie frowned. “Pinkie.”
“We have the greatest selection of cupcakes in the area, all made from fresh, regional products. The recipe used dates all the way back to–”
“Pinkie!” Sweetie walked towards the counter, the frown still etched on her face. “I know what cupcakes are made of and I don’t want to hear their entire history! Also, you know I don’t have the bits to buy any of the things you talked about, so why do you even ask? Oh, and your smile is creepy.”
Pinkie sighed and started massaging her cheeks. “Sorry. I’ve just been trying to boost the sales for some time now, and this book Twilight gave me a few days ago says that I should try to assist the customer and make suggestions.”
“It was just weird. Why would you follow some stupid book anyway?”
Pinkie ran her hoof over the cash registry, biting her lip. “I need to make more money.”
“Why? You never seemed to be low on bits to me.”
“Not for me. For the Cakes.”
Sweetie furrowed her brow. “But why? Can’t they earn their own?”
“It’s not that, it’s just... I feel like I should work harder. That’s all.”
“Well, alright, do what you want.” Sweetie shook her head and hoofed Pinkie a piece of paper. “Rarity’s going to cook something big today; said I can invite a friend. Normally, I’d call Applebloom or Scootaloo, but they’re both busy today. Would you like to come?”
Pinkie inhaled the air in a long, wheezing gasp, her head shooting up and eyes widening. “Can I?”
“Sure. She’ll be happy to have her own friend over for once.”
Pinkie jumped over the counter and pulled her into a tight hug. “Thank you so much!”
“I-it’s not really that much of a deal,” Sweetie said, smiling.
“R-right. Sorry.” Pinkie released her and ran towards the back, loading the necessary items into a bag. “She wants some cupcakes? She still didn’t learn how to make desserts, right?”
Sweetie shook her head. “The best she made tasted like butter.”
“But...” Pinkie frowned. “Butter flavour isn’t that bad.”
“It was supposed to be a tiramisu.”
“But there’s no butter in– Ooh.” Pinkie nodded, her expression hardening. “I’ll have to share a few tips with her. Anyway, here you go.” She hoofed her a bag of treats. “When should I come?”
“Seven o’clock.” Sweetie put the bits on the counter. “It should be just enough.”
“I’ll come at seven sharp!” Pinkie started counting the bits. “Why is she making a big dinner anyway?”
Sweetie’s eyes darted to the ceiling. “Uh... no reason.”
Pinkie scowled on the bits and started counting again. “No reason? But Rarity totally wouldn’t do it without one. She’s busy with her dresses and doesn’t have time for cooking; she told me so.”
“I... uh... I guess she wasn’t busy today?”
“But she told me she had this big order just last–” Pinkie lift her head from the money. “You’re one bit short.”
“Oh.” Sweetie scratched her head. “I guess Rarity counted it wrong when she gave them to me. Can’t you just let it slip?”
Pinkie sagged. “I’m sorry, but no. I can’t hand out cupcakes for free, or even with a discount anymore; what would the Cakes think?”
“Can’t you lend me that bit then? Rarity will give it back right once you come.”
“No.” Pinkie shook her head, her eyes digging in the ground. “I used everything I had left on the party. Like always.”
Sweetie groaned. “Just write it down somewhere! You’re going to see me in a just while; I’ll give it to you then. Just remember to come at seven, okay?”
“Right.”
“Great.” Sweetie smiled, took her purchase, and trotted towards the door. “Oh, and Pinkie?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t listen to the stuff other ponies say about you; they’re just mean and stupid, and will stop when they see you don’t care. The only thing that matters is what your true friends think about you.” She winked at her and left.
Pinkie sighed. And who are those?
———
“Come in!”
Pinkie wiped her hooves on the doormat and entered the boutique, standing in the middle of an empty room. “Rarity?”
“Upstairs!”
She shrugged and walked to the second storey, turning towards Rarity’s room and opening the door.
“Surprise!”
Pinkie’s jaw dropped. The inside of the room was decorated by streamers and balloons, the floor covered by confetti, and a gramophone started playing in the background. In front of Pinkie stood six ponies – her closest friends plus Sweetie Belle – all of them wearing party hats and wide grins.
“Girls?” Pinkie closed her mouth, beaming at them. “Is... is this for me?”
“It sure is, Pardner!” Applejack tipped her hat and threw her a cupcake, which she gulped down the moment it reached her. “We’ve heard some folks have been treatin’ you wrong.”
“And saw how sad you’ve been these last few days,” Twilight said.
“So you threw me a party?” Pinkie’s smile was wider than her muscles should allow. “That’s like the bestest gift ever!” She leapt towards them, pulling each one into tight hug.
“Speaking of gifts, Darling,” – Rarity squeezed herself out of Pinkie’s iron embrace – “I happen to have something for you.”
She walked to a table and presented Pinkie Pie with a neatly wrapped, flat present. “It’s something I was already working on for a different customer, but when I heard the things some ponies were saying about you – especially the customer herself – I cancelled the order and reworked the dress for you.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said. “I flew to town today and everypony was talking about you like you were the next Nightmare Moon – what’s up with that? I was just about to kick some flanks when Fluttershy told me she’s having this party here.”
Pinkie cocked her brow. “Fluttershy? You made all this?”
“It... it was no bother, really.” Fluttershy blushed. “I just saw how upset you were after your party was over, and thought that maybe you’d like one where you don’t have to take care of everything. Do... Do you like it?”
“Like it?” Pinkie hugged Fluttershy extra hard. “I love it! I haven’t been this happy in ages!” She looked at the wrapped package Rarity was still holding in her hooves. “Can I open it?”
Rarity giggled. “Naturally, Darling. That’s what it’s for.”
Pinkie let go of Fluttershy and moved to the gift in milliseconds, tearing the wrapping off. “I asked because you might have wanted to only give it to me at some special time, like when you wait until the cake is sliced on birthdays, even though it’d be rather silly to tell me what was inside if you wanted me to open it later, beca– Oooh, pretty!” She lifted a large, cream-white dress in front of her.
“Try it on, Darling. I hope I got the measures right.”
After a while of struggling with the laces, Pinkie managed to slip into it. “It fits just great!” She looked down at the fabric, letting her hoof slide across its smooth surface. “Thanks, Rarity!”
“It was no problem, Darling, really.” Rarity waved her hoof. “I’m just glad you feel better. Seeing you in such a bad spirit was simply horrendous.”
Pinkie’s eyes moistened as she smiled. “I’m just so happy you all noticed. And that you’re all my friends. If any of you treated me like they did, I’d... I’d...”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, Sugarcube.” Applejack slung her hoof around Pinkie’s neck. “None of us would ever say anythin’ bad to you. Right, Twilight?”
Twilight’s smile skewed. “W-well, I... uh... maybe if you really annoyed me or something? I guess I might say some bad things then, b-but I wouldn’t really mean them!” She shook her head. “Anyway, what’s important is that no matter what, we’ll always be here for you, Pinkie. Regardless of what other ponies say, you will always be our friend.”
“Thank you Twilight.” She turned towards the others. “Thank all of you. This really means a lot to me.” She took a hoofkerchief that Rarity offered her and wiped her eyes. “I should stop being such a downer though. This is a party, so let’s paaar-tay!”
———
I. Feel like. Dying.
Pinkie stood behind the bakery’s counter again, stretching her face into a grin despite the immense intestinal torture going on inside her bowels.
I knew that cake tasted funny. But did that stop me? Nooooo.
The pain came in waves, every time spiking through the roof, and then just disappearing, building up strength for round two.
I hope the girls feel better than I do.
Just when her digestive system seemed intent on strangling itself, the door opened and in walked a young mare with yellow mane. “H-hello, Cherry Berry. What’s it gonna be t-today?”
“Hello, Pinkie.” Cherry took a deep breath and smiled. “It sure smells nice in here, what were you baking?”
I knew I should’ve taken a day off!
“S-some coconut treat balls.” Pinkie twisted behind the counter like a hula hoop champion, hoping against odds that it might unclog her gut. “W-would you like any?”
“Well, I don’t know.” She tapped her hoof against her chin. “I don’t feel like risking a new flavour.”
Make it stop! Make it st–
A loud gurgle emanated from Pinkie’s tummy, and her muscles relaxed. The grin stretched wider. “Well, Cherry, I can say with a hundred percent sureness that those coconut balls taste coco-tastic! I had several myself, and they were the yummiest thing this week.”
A lot better than that cake, at least.
“I’ll take a few then. Give me five.”
Pinkie turned to the cupboards, opening one and loading the treats into a paper bag.
“You know,” Cherry said, leaning against the counter, “I’m glad to see you so cheerful again.”
“Oh? Thanks, that’s really nice of you.”
“The town just didn’t feel right with you so down.”
Pinkie looked at her with cocked brow. “Thanks again. But why?”
Cherry Berry giggled. “Well, I guess I just missed your antics. I’m no old crone, but it still brings back memories.”
Pinkie’s brow furrowed. “Antics? What do you mean?”
“Oh, you know. All that silly singing and dancing, playing with foals...”
The furrow turned into a frown. “I don’t think my songs are silly.”
Cherry smiled at her like one would smile at a little filly. “Of course you don’t. But I look forward to it anyway.”
Pinkie dropped the bag on the counter, her eyes digging holes into Cherry’s. “Thanks. I guess.”
“Sorry, did I upset you?” She pouted. “I didn’t mean to do that. Your songs are great, all the foals love them.”
Pinkie grit her teeth, her face stuck somewhere mid-grin. “That’s... not really the problem I had in mind.”
“R-right!” Cherry’s eyes darted around the room. “Your dancing looks good too. A bit dangerous to stand too close, if you ask me, but not silly. Nope. I mean you won the junior championship last year, right?”
“You’re missing the point,” Pinkie said through her clenched teeth.
Cherry’s face contorted like she was about to give birth. “Uh... Um... Err...” Her eyes fell on the bag. “You... want me to share one with you?”
“What? No!” Pinkie threw her hooves up. “Stop talking to me like I’m a filly!”
“Oooh.” Cherry bit her lip and her eyes widened. “I didn’t mean it like... Well, okay, maybe I did, but there’s nothing wrong about being a bit...”
“A bit what?”
“You know. A bit...”
“A bit what? ”
“Childish.” Cherry looked away from Pinkie.
Pinkie gave her a hard stare. “You don’t talk to me like I’m childish. You talk to me like I am a child.”
“I-I think I should go.” She quickly grabbed the bag and put the bits on the counter, galloping out of the store.
Pinkie leapt towards the door, drawing air into her lungs. “I’m not a child!”
Nor am I a clown! ‘Antics!’
She returned to her post, staring at the entrance like it was her mortal enemy. To think I used to give her a discount! ‘Childish’ my flank. I’m not stupid; I can think!
I mean it’s not like I can’t be smart without being super-serious all the time, right? Her face contorted. It’s not like she doesn’t join every time anyway! She wants to do the same stuff I do, but then is all like ‘Nope. Wasn’t me. Just Pinkie. I’m too adult and mature to ever have fun!’ Hypocrite!
The door opened again and Pinkie’s brows flew up, while the corners of her mouth drooped further. “What the– Score? What do you think you’re doing here? I told you and your friends to stay away from m– I mean stay away from the bakery!”
“Uh... hi.” He scratched the back of his head, his eyes jumping from one place to another, but never meeting hers. “I came to... uh...” He took a quick peek at her before looking away again. “Err... Nice dress. He-he...”
“Why? What’s wrong with it?”
“What?” His brow wrinkled like a pair of caterpillars. “N-nothing. I just said it looks nice.”
“Yeah, right!” Pinkie slammed her hoof on the counter. “Like Dumb-Bell said I’m a hard worker, huh? This dress was made by a friend – real friend – of mine, just so you know, and if you have a problem with it, say it outright!”
Score recoiled. “No! That’s not what I meant. I just came here to...”
“...to laugh at the clown right? Just because Twilight isn’t here doesn’t mean you can do that – I’ll shout for guards!”
“I’m leaving, okay? Jeez.” He walked out of the door, looking at her from the street. “Not in the bakery, see?”
“Ha. Ha. Ha. And here I thought I was the clown here.” Pinkie slowly clapped. “What do you want?”
He sighed. “Look, I was drunk at the time and Hoops’s been pushing me, right? Well, later I figured–”
“Hey, Score!” Dumb-Bell’s voice came from behind the corner. “I’ve been looking all over for you. Why weren’t you at the pub today?” He came into view. “Ooh, I see! Laughing at the Clown, eh? Good thinking, that sounds like much more fun.”
“I– uh... sure!” Score looked back at Pinkie. “You’re... uh... stupid because...” He threw a glance at Dumb-Bell. “Uh... because your dress is ugly!”
“What? ” Pinkie’s face reddened. “How dare you?”
“Hey, you’re right,” Dumb-Bell said with a smirk. “New costume, Clown? ”
“Leave me alone! Guards! ”
Score tapped on Dumb-Bells side. “Maybe we should go.”
“What? Why?” He laughed and started speaking in a high-pitch voice. “‘Oh Mr. Guard! They said mean things to me; arrest them. Boohoo!’ It’s not like they’ll come anytime soon, right?” He laughed again and turned around, staring right in the face of an armoured stallion. “Oh. Uh... hello... sir.”
“Scram.”
“I told you we should’ve went away!” Score whispered, loudly, to Dumb-Bell.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Dumb-Bell rolled his eyes and started trotting away. “It’s not like we did anything illegal.”
“And you.” The guard looked at Pinkie. “Stop shouting for guards all the time! This is the third time this week – we have more important things to do than babysit you!”
“S-sorry.” Pinkie bowed her head.
The guard harrumphed and walked away.
Chapter 4: Taxes
Another day, another trip to the market. Pinkie sighed, donning her coat and hat. It fooled nopony, but at least gave her the illusion that there was something between her and the stares.
The past several days had been nothing but suffering – the gossip only grew, the guards no longer responded to her calls, and, worst of all, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that her real friends were being laughed at as well for talking to her.
Not everypony badmouthed her, of course. Probably less than a third did, despite what it might have felt like at times. Those who didn’t, however, also didn’t help her in any way. All she could do was grit her teeth and walk past when a pony greeted her like nothing had changed. Like I was still their personal clown!
Pinkie sighed again and opened the door. Somepony had to buy the groceries, and that somepony was her, like it or not.
Right as she reached the square, she saw a crowd. Pony upon pony were packed against each other, all staring at a gray-maned mare on a small podium. Oh, right! The Mayor has a speech today. Pinkie walked closer, squeezing in between two stallions in the last row.
“...nounce that the taxes will have to be raised in order to cover this year’s expenses.”
The crowd erupted, several tomatoes landing on the stage. “Please calm down!” Mayor Mare shouted. “Calm down, everypony!” It took a few minutes for the crowd to settle down. “It saddens me as much as any of you, but we simply need to get the funds from somewhere! The town hall’s reconstruction drained our coffers, and the roads are becoming untraversable due to years of neglect. Every week, there is at least one broken wagon wheel!”
“I can’t afford to pay any more taxes!” Caramel shouted. He was immediately joined by a plethora of other voices.
The Mayor rubbed her brow, shaking her head. “Unless all of you are willing to spend the next week or two repairing the roads from dawn to dusk without any payment whatsoever, I’m afraid there’s no other way. But if you have a better solution than taxes, I’m listening.”
“Why do we need the roads so bad anyway? They were good enough up until now.”
“The roads are beginning to deter travellers and traders, which only makes us earn less. Also, the town has to pay for the repair of all the broken wagons, since we are the ones responsible for the damages.”
Pinkie furrowed her brow. She couldn’t really afford any sudden tax increase either, not after blowing every last money reserve she had on the party. Maybe if we started... no, wouldn’t work. How about selling... no, that wouldn’t do either. She bit her lip. Why can’t this be easy like running a bakery? When we make little bits, I just bake something new and more ponies come to try it. If they want cupcakes, I bake more cupcakes, if they want muffins, I bake muffins. Her ears drooped. Unless... She looked left and right, her eyes widening. “I... I have an idea.”
“How about the Rich family pays for it?” Hayseed said. “They’ve got more money than they can spend!”
“What? ” Pinkie clearly recognised the voice of Mr. Rich. “Do you have any idea how much that’d cost, you turnip-brain? It’d ruin me! And with me, the whole town – I own half the shops here, if you haven’t noticed, which I’d have to close down!”
Pinkie raised her voice. “All we have to do is use the remaining bits and buy a whole lot of apples. Then, we–“
“How about we just borrow some money?” Carrot Top asked. “The Royal Bank will lend us all the bits we need, and we’ll just repay it next year. The roads will be fixed and the town hall has already been repaired – we should make a profit.”
Mayor Mare shook her head. “We’d be relying on luck. What if there’s poor harvest? What if more things get broken by then? What if Derpy manages to demolish the town hall again? We couldn’t pay the bank back and would end up worse off than we’re now.”
“After we have more apples,” Pinkie said, “we’ll start making cider. It’ll be outside of the season and will have to cost a bit more to pay for the work and everything, but–“
“How about Twilight Sparkle called in a few favours?” Bonbon asked. “She’s Princess Celestias’ personal protégé, if she asks for money, she’ll get it.”
“No way!” Pinkie saw Twilight jump up all the way at the other side of the crowd. “I don’t have this kind of influence, and even if I had, those bits are needed elsewhere – we’d only be shifting our problem onto somepony else!”
Pinkie frowned and raised her voice even more. “The cider would be more expensive, but I bet ponies would buy it anyway – Ponyville cider is famous and the demand is so big every year, that some always walk away disappointed. There were ponies coming all the way from Fillydelphia once! We’d earn more than enough to pay for everything.”
Mayor mare sighed. “So far, the taxes really seem to be the only solution.”
The ponies around Pinkie nodded, scowling. “Oh, come on!”
“I suppose it is settled then. The taxes for the following year will increase by– yes, Pinprick?”
The stallion next to Pinkie lowered his hoof. “How about we bought some apples, made cider from them, and sold it at twice the usual price? The demand is so big every year that ponies would buy it anyway.”
Pinkie looked at him like he just slapped her. “W-what? But I just–”
Mayor Mare turned to the far end of the crowd. “Applejack, would that be possible?”
“Well... I...” The eyes of everypony focused on her, and she gulped. “The cider makin’ season is so short only because we’re too busy with the fields to keep it up, so maybe it’d sell good even now. Usually we sell the remaining apples to Manehattan in bulk every year, but if you folks wanna buy them, I don’t see why not.”
“Wonderful! We will carry out Pinprick’s idea then, and–”
“Pinprick’s? Are you kidding me?” Pinkie’s face reddened like it was about to explode, veins appearing on her neck. “I said the exact same thing seconds ago, but does anypony listen to me here? Noooo, Pinkie is too childish and dumb to ever say anything worthwhile! Isn’t that right?” She glanced over the staring faces around her. “Screw you. Screw you all to Tartarus, together with this stupid town!”
She turned around, turned her snout up, and started marching away. After the nearest corner, the march turned to trot, and then to a gallop. She sprinted into Sucarcube Corner, scaled the stairs in mere seconds, got into her room, and collapsed on her bed in sobs.
———
“Come on, Pinkie. It’s not that bad.” Twilight sit at the bedside, a small frown on her face as she watched her friend’s lying figure.
“Not that bad?” Pinkie turned around and scowled. “It’s badder than bad! I-I mean you were there, you saw what happened! You heard it yourself!”
“Well, yes, and it... wasn’t... that...” Pinkie glared at her, as if daring her to finish that sentence. Twilight gulped. “What I’m trying to say is that you see it worse than it really is. I mean this isn’t the first time ponies didn’t take you as seriously as they should.”
“But that’s exactly the problem!” Pinkie sat up, throwing her hooves up. “They didn’t do it before, they don’t do it now, and they won’t do it later!”
Twilight shook her head. “Pinkie, I think you remember even I didn’t take you seriously before. Take the whole affair with parasprites – it just took me a while to learn that lesson, but I did, and so will everypony else if you give them enough time.”
“Enough time? They had more time than you did! I’ve been living here for years! ”
“Maybe they just need to get to know you better?”
“They sure sounded like they know more about me than I do,” Pinkie mumbled, crossing her front legs and pouting. “Plus they stole my idea. Ignoring me is one thing, but this was much meaner!”
“Your idea saved us a lot of money. Isn’t that they used it in the end what’s important?”
“No. I mean yes! I mean somewhat.” Pinkie’s ears folded down. “I’d just like them to say once, once, that I’m just as smart as they are. And to stop looking down on me. And to stop being mean.”
Twilight’s lips curved upwards and she laid her hoof on hers. “Don’t you remember the party? Our party, I mean. No matter what other ponies say–”
“I will still have you and the girls. I know, I know.” Pinkie exhaled and shook her head. “It just doesn’t help, even though I know it. It hurts when they talk to me like I was a little filly. Like today. When the Mayor said it was Pinprick’s idea and not mine all of a sudden, it felt like... like I got a big, nasty bruise. Only not on a knee, but inside.”
Twilight nodded. “I’ll talk to Mayor Mare.”
“What? No!” Pinkie grabbed Twilight’s hoof, clutching it to her chest. “That’d only make it worse! It’d look like I really am just a small, stupid filly that needs an ‘adult’ to solve her problems!”
“Nonsense!”
“I know. But it’d look like that. And if it looks like that, Dumb-Bell and Hoops and everypony else will laugh at me even more.”
“Why would that matter?” Twilight freed her hoof from Pinkie and placed it on her back. “Why would you care what Hoops, Dumb-Bell, or any other ‘mean’ pony thinks? Let them laugh. They’re only hurting themselves, as anypony can then see what they really are like.”
“I guess...” A fleeting smile stirred Pinkie’s sullen face. “But it still hurts, even when I know they’re just stupid meanies. And I think it hurts you too.”
“Me?” Twilight’s brow shot up. “What do I have to do with any of this?”
“You’re avoiding me! Together with the girls.”
“Avoiding you?” Twilight looked around herself, as if confirming she indeed was in Pinkie’s room, and laughed. “Pinkie, I’m with you right now!”
“Yes, because nopony can see you here.”
“That’s non–“
“Why else do I never meet any of you in the town anymore, huh?” Pinkie scowled at her. “Why did none of you back me up earlier today? Why do we never go on a picnic, or anywhere somepony might see us together? We used to do that all the time.”
“You’re just being paranoid. I’m sure tha–”
“That we met somewhere in town? Then tell me, because I sure don’t remember!” Pinkie froze and started scratching her chin. “Well, except for Applejack, I guess. But she has a stand at the square, so she can’t really avoid me no matter how much she’d like to.”
Twilight scoffed. “Stop it! Nopony’s avoiding you, especially not me and the girls! Maybe we haven’t seen each other in public as much as usual, but that’s definitely just a coincidence. Now calm down!”
Pinkie took a deep breath, sagging and flopping back onto the bed. “I shouldn’t blame you for it. I’d be scared of being bullied too. It just makes me so mad that they’d try to harm my friends like this!”
“Don’t worry about us.” Twilight patted her on her back. “We’ll manage just fine. It’s you who has it the worst. When you stormed away from the square like that, we were really afraid you’d do something rash.”
“Rash? Like what?”
Twilight shrugged. “I don’t know. Start a fight with Dumb-Bell? You looked livid enough.”
“No, I’d never do that.” Pinkie shook her head. “But maybe doing something ‘rash’ is what I need. Doing nothing didn’t help me at all.”
Twilight frowned. “If you do, please tell me about it first, alright? I’m not saying you need my permission to do something or anything like that, but two heads are better than one.”
Pinkie bowed her head. “Okay.”
“I’m going to check up on Spike now. If there’s anything, and I mean anything you need, come to me right away.”
“Alright.”
Twilight got up off the bed and smiled at her again, leaving the room.
———
The doorbell rang as the little, familiar figure trotted into the shop. “Hi, Pinkie!” Sweetie said as she moved towards the counter.
“Hi.” Pinkie supported her chin with her hoof, leaning onto the desk and looking like she was just about to fall asleep.
“I said ‘Hi, Pinkie!’ not ‘Hi, Pinkie... let’s go die of boredom together.’” Sweetie giggled. “I mean come on, haven’t you heard?”
“Heard what?”
“They’re going to make cider! All kinds! Even one that I can drink!”
“Yeah, I heard.” Pinkie sighed. “Have fun.”
Sweetie furrowed her brow. “What’s wrong? You’re even more down than usual.”
“So now it’s normal for me to be down?” Pinkie grimaced. “Just great.”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Sorry.” Pinkie swung her right hoof onto the counter and pushed a cupcake to its edge. “Have one on the house.”
“You sure?” Sweetie narrowed her eyes at the treat. “Last time, you got all fussed up over a single bit. Won’t the Cakes be mad?”
“Just take it. I’ll tell them to scratch this from my wage.”
“I don’t want to cost you money.” She pushed the cupcake back to Pinkie. “What’s gotten into you?”
Pinkie sighed again, letting her eyes drift off somewhere towards the ceiling. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Thinking about what?”
“Stuff.”
Sweetie grimaced. “Okay, aaand what did you figure out about that ‘stuff?’”
“Nothing yet. I’m still thinking.”
She rolled her eyes. “Are you going to tell me more about it, or will you just keep beating around the bush?”
“Right. Sorry.” Pinkie straightened up and stretched, a small smile appearing on her face. “I’m really happy you care. Most ponies would just go like ‘Ooh, Pinkie can think? What a stupid rumour!’” She glowered. “What a bunch of meanies. But you do think I can think as good as anypony else – maybe you’re still a little filly, but you help me a lot. ” She pushed the cupcake again. “Take it. I insist!”
Sweetie shrugged and took it. “Thanks.”
“You see, I’ve been thinking about a whole bunch of stuff.” Pinkie started pacing around the room. “Really serious stuff. It made me all sad.” Her head drooped.
“But about what have you been thinking?”
“Hmm...” Pinkie rubbed her chin. “Let’s say there’s a... a baker in some little town, who makes... um...”
“Cupcakes?”
She nodded. “Cupcakes. Now, she, the baker, only makes one flavour. The flavour was a really, really big hit for long time, but not anymore. Ponies just no longer liked it as much for some reason.”
“Why doesn’t she make more flavours?”
Pinkie stopped mid-step. “Uh… she can only order her ingredients in bulk and they go bad really fast, so she can only make one at a time. But that’s not important.”
“Okay.”
“Now, the ponies don’t like the flavour and she’s getting all sobby and teary about it. Still, there are a few ponies – not many – who love the old flavour and will get really, really upset if she stops making it. Should she continue making the old stuff and hope other ponies will start liking it again, or should she take a risk and try a new one, even though she can’t be sure it’ll be popular and knows that some will be disappointed?
Sweetie scratched her head. “Why do you waste your time thinking about some bakers? And why does this make you sad? Is she somepony you know?”
“Umm... kinda. Anyway, what do you think she should do?”
“Try the new flavour – no point in doing something that doesn’t work. She can always return to the old one if things go wrong, and maybe even the disappointed customers will like the new one better in the end.”
“I doubt that, but thanks.” Pinkie took a deep breath. “I guess it is time to change the flavour. Plus you were right – one can always go back to the old one. Right?”
“Sure.”
“Right...” Pinkie’s features hardened. “Did you want to buy anything?”
“Not really. Just wanted to chat.” Sweetie smiled at her. “Did I help? Did you finish your thinking?”
“Yes, you helped a lot. But now I’ve got some stuff to plan.”
“What stuff?”
Pinkie smirked and shook her head. “Not this time, Sweetie. I really don’t want to talk about it. Not yet.”
“Oh.” Sweetie looked down. “Will you tell me later then?”
“Sure. You’ll find out soon enough.” No point in doing something that doesn’t work.
———
“Pinkie, you don’t have to do this! There has to be a different way!”
“Maybe there is, Twilight. But I just don’t see it.” Pinkie sighed, loading another crate onto her wagon. “They didn’t start being mean just these last two weeks. They always were like that. Only I didn’t notice.”
Something latched on Pinkie’s leg. “Don’t do it Pinkie! You can’t! Please! This... this is so uncool!” Rainbow’s face was wet with tears.
“I’m sorry, Dashie, but you saw how they were. I can’t stay.”
“It hasn’t even been a month, Darling. If you gave it some more time, then surely...”
Pinkie shook her head. “You saw it yourself. They all think I’m just some stupid, unthinking foal! Maybe they’d realise I’m not after some time now, but...” Pinkie cast her eyes down. “But I can’t. They were all so mean to me for no reason at all, only because they could, and I just can’t look at them the same way again.”
“Sugarcube, I...” Applejack held her hat in her hooves, pressing it against her chest. “Good luck. If there’s anythin’ I can do...”
“You could go with me.” Pinkie’s lips curved upwards, but the rest of her face was anything but smiling.
Applejack sighed. “You know I can’t just leave the farm.”
“W-where will you go?” Fluttershy asked. “Can we still visit?”
“Of course you can.” Pinkie smiled, this time with her whole face. “I’m going back to mom and dad’s – I haven’t seen my sisters in ages, and I know I’ll be welcome. It’s not that far. Not that close either, though.” She winced and closed the back of the wagon. “I guess that’s it.”
“Pinkie, please reconsider!” Twilight opened her saddlebags and levitated out several scrolls. “Look at these friendship reports – do they mean nothing? Remember all we’ve been through, all the lessons we’ve learned!” Tears sprang up in her eyes. “You can’t just leave that behind!”
“I remember. I remember it all, and it was the best time of my life.” Pinkie hung her head down. “But... Twilight, if you gave me the Element of Laughter now, it wouldn’t work. I feel like anything but laughing. I just... I can’t stay in this place.” She shook her head. “And you’re making it sound worse than it is. We’ll still see each other, just... not every day. Or every week.”
Twilight turned away, the reports slowly flying back into her bags.
“I should go, or I’ll start crying again.” Pinkie smiled at them with a sob and harnessed herself to the wagon.
“I’ll fly over every day, I promise!”
Pinkie nodded. “Thanks, Dashie.” She gave each of her friends a long, last look and whispered, “Goodbye.”
The End
Epilogue
Pinkie moved away from a heavy boulder and wiped away the sweat on her forehead. “Hello, Dashie. How have you been?” She turned towards the light blue pegasus.
“Hi. Pretty normal. Nothing interesting or cool happening.” Rainbow spread her wings and started preening her feathers. “The air’s been kinda dusty today. A lot of work?”
“Just the usual. Anyway...” Pinkie sighed. “I... wanted to tell you something. But first, I want to ask: It’s been three months now. Do they still miss me?”
Rainbows wings jerked back down. “Uh... S-sure! Every day, I hear at least one pony go all like ‘I wish Pinkie was still here!’ Really!”
“Come on, Dash. Tell me the truth.”
“Well, you know...” She started digging the tip of her hoof into the ground. “It was like that at the beginning. Me and the girls got kinda mad and told Dumb-Bell and his friends just what we think about them. He laughed, so I kicked him. In the face. But I already told you about that and my short vacay in jail like a dozen times.” Rainbow let out a shaky laugh. “Everypony was really sad that you left. Scootaloo told me a bunch of her classmates even cried.”
“They did?” Pinkie smiled. “That’s nice of them. Not that I mean them crying is nice! I don’t like foals crying. But it’s still nice. I mean–“
“I get it.” Rainbow grinned back.
“But all that’s been months ago, and I want to know how it’s now. For example, I haven’t seen Applejack in ages! Why doesn’t she come to visit?”
Rainbow winced, rubbing the back of her head. “Well, you know... farm work, apples, cattle... Plus she has no wings. It’d take her too long to get there, and she has to work. She’d totally come if she had more time to spare though!”
“What about the others? They only come over like once in a fortnight.”
“You know how Fluttershy flies and even Twilight isn’t that good. And the rest, again, don’t have wings. It just takes them too long to get here. But they still like you just as much as before!”
“I know, but I miss them.” Pinkie sighed again. “How’s the town doing? Any big changes? Did another party planner arrive, or is it all glum and sad and unfunny?” Pinkie’s eyes began to glisten. “It must be horrible there. I bet they regret chasing me away!”
Rainbow bit her lip. “Uuh...”
“You’re going to lie again, ain’t you?”
“Yeah.” Rainbow chuckled, looking away. “I mean it’s not like the town is the same – there’s a lot less fun now and it’s generally unawesome and uncool. But...”
Pinkie leaned closer. “But?”
“They’re all kinda... okay with that. It’s just like before you arrived all those years ago. A bit dull and boring... but we manage.”
“Oh.” Pinkie cast her eyes down.
“But if you came back, I’m sure they’d all be happy!”
“Yeah, because then they could laugh at me again!” Pinkie turned away.
“Come on, it’s not like th–”
“I’m moving away.”
Rainbow froze. “W-what?”
“I never liked working on a rock farm, and mom and dad know that. They asked around and found me a place in another bakery.”
“So you’re not going back to Ponyville?”
Pinkie slowly shook her head. “No. I can’t, I’m... scared.”
“What?” Rainbow frowned. “How can you be scared? There’s nothing dangerous in there!”
“Scared that it would all repeat.”
“So you won’t even try again?” The frown turned into a scowl. “That’s... that’s stupid! ”
“I didn’t say I won’t try again.” Pinkie’s voice wavered. “Just... just not in Ponyville. No sense going somewhere where I’ve already failed. Not when they don’t even mind I’m gone!”
“But I mind! And Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy too!”
Pinkie turned back to her, her eyes overflowing with tears. “I know. And every time I see them, it... it...” She sniffed. “It hurts! Because I know that all this time, you’ve been having amazing adventures and had lots of fun, while I did nothing! Nothing! I can’t go back because of the other ponies, and I can’t stay here because of you girls!”
Dash recoiled. “Why do you keep saying this? You can come back! Screw the other ponies!”
“You don’t get it! You’ve always been so confident; you can’t understand!” Pinkie fell to her haunches. “It hurts too. I tried keeping it out, but it still does! Do you have any idea how it feels like, when a pony you greeted every morning for years starts insulting you? Just think about it! Your good friend comes up to you and says that you’re just a dumb, little filly and then laughs at you!” Pinkie took a deep, shaky breath. “And he’s not the only one.”
Rainbow’s features relaxed. “I... guess you have a point. I never had this problem. Comes with being cool and radical, I guess.” She blew her mane away from her eyes and sat down beside her. “Sorry, Pinkie.”
The wind whistled between the boulders, clearing up some of the dust in the air.
“So, where are you moving to? Somewhere nearby?”
“A big city.”
“Please tell me it’s Canterlot.”
Pinkie sobbed. “Fillydelphia.”
“Fillydelphia? ” Rainbow jumped up, staring at Pinkie with her jaw agape. “That’s half of Equestria away! That’s... that’s way too far! Even I can’t get there in a day, no matter how fast I go!”
“I know.”
“If you know then... then why? Don’t you want to see me anymore?”
Pinkie looked away, tears still flooding her eyes. “No.”
“What? ”
“I told you! Every time I see you, I remember Ponyville! I remember that I have my bestest friends there, and that they all have tons of fun without me! That they go on adventures without me! That every time they laugh or sing or eat a cupcake, I’m not there with them! It hurts almost as bad as the insults, maybe more.”
Rainbow grit her teeth. “So that’s what you’re going to do, huh? Just... just go and leave everypony behind?”
“It’ll be a fresh start. I won’t make the same mistakes again and make tons of new friends. Real friends. After some time, when I have them, I... I could take them all to Ponyville on holiday. Wouldn’t that be great?”
“Hay no! How long do we have to wait for that? Months? Years? You’re ditching us for ‘friends’ you don’t even have yet!”
Pinkie harrumphed. “Ponyville ditched me first!”
“I don’t believe this.” Rainbow started pacing around, smiling and crying at the same time. “This isn’t happening. This is just one big, bad joke.”
“Dad already arranged everything.”
Rainbow grabbed Pinkie by the shoulders and pressed her muzzle against hers. “I’ve been going here every day, every day, for three months, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you would come back, and you go to Fillydelphia instead? Fillydelphia! Why not Vanhoover, while you’re at it? Or Appleloosa; would that be far enough? Or, or just ask the Princess and go to the Moon! None of us will bother you there!”
Pinkie gulped. “I... I hoped you’d wish me good luck. To have a nice goodbye. I guess... I guess I was wrong.” She yanked out of Dash’s grasp and, sobbing and sniffing, galloped towards her home.
Dash was quick to catch up. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you aren’t! You’re angry at me and hate me! You’re mean! ” She ran into the farmhouse and slammed the door in Rainbow’s face. Inside, she leaned against the door and slid into a sit, wiping her tears.
“Pinkie?” Rainbow said, her voice muffled by the door.
“Y-yes?” Pinkie breathed heavily, water still pouring from her eyes. “W-what do you want?”
“What you just said... You know I don’t hate you, right? It’s just... you caught me off guard, that’s all. I overreacted.”
Pinkie blew her nose into a hoofkerchief, throwing it into a nearby bin when she was finished. “I-it’s alright. I shouldn’t have said you’re mean either.” She sniffed again. “It’s not true. You said those things because I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
For a few seconds, all that could be heard was Pinkie’s laboured breathing.
“Pinkie I... wish you good luck. It’d be awesomer if you came back, but... if you gotta go, you gotta go.”
“Thanks.” Pinkie obliterated the last of the tears on her face. “Do... do you want in?”
“Nah. I’d just break up. When... when are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow morning. I know I should’ve told you earlier, but I was afraid you’d... well... do this. ”
Rainbow chuckled. “Hey, that’s me, the one and only.” Soon, her voice returned to its serious tone. “I guess it’s up to me to tell the girls, right?”
Pinkie nodded, even though Rainbow couldn’t see her. “Tell them I’m sorry. They deserved a proper goodbye. I’m... I’m a coward.”
“It’s okay, really. They’ll understand.”
There was another pause.
“I guess this is it then,” Rainbow said.
“I wish it hadn’t ended this way.”
Rainbow sighed. “We all do. I’d better go and tell them... maybe they’ll manage to come by tomorrow. If they hurry.”
“You know they won’t. It’s too far.” Pinkie picked herself off the ground. “Tell them I’ll miss them. And that I love them. You too.”
“Okay.” Rainbow’s voice was shaky and sounded like it was about to break. “I’d... I’d better go.”
There was a whoosh, and Pinkie knew that her friend was gone.
