GTA: Equestria 2000

"...And every street you walked on, someone was getting mugged in broad daylight!" Mike recounted to Fisher King, walking down a street in Las Pegasus. "And the police never even do anything about it, because the city's run by a bunch of corrupt politicians and the gangs pay them to look the other way."

"Wow, Liberty City sounds like a terrible place." said Fisher. "I can understand why ya left, buddy."

"Yeah." said Mike. "Wish I didn't have to piss half the city off to finally get outta there. Not that I feel bad, but I had to get involved in a whole bunch of stuff before I finally left. Stealing cars, blowing up buildings, shooting people...especially ones that shot back. Not to mention, a lot of decent folks got hurt or killed. All because someone that I thought was my friend was a backstabbing S.O.B. that set me up. At least I know that Vinnie's rotting in Hell now, and I'm not. Or maybe I am too, but I got it slightly better than him."

"Sounds like you live an exciting life." said Fisher. "Let's hope you can go legit."

"I hope so, too." said Mike. "But I think I ought to to know about this...world, and how a bunch of talking ponies are able to run a city like this."

Then Fisher King spent the next half hour explaining to Mike about Equestria, about the different species that inhabited it, and the princesses that ruled it.

"So, wait...wait." Mike said, trying not to laugh. "You mean to tell me that there's magic in this world...and that unicorns with wings control the Sun and Moon."

"Yep." said Fisher. "It's been that way for over a thousand years or something like that."

"Don't you realize how dumb that sounds, though?" asked Mike, chuckling. "I ain't some Science major, but even I realize that it sounds like a load of crap."

"Well, there was another one that controlled the Moon." Fisher told him. "She's kinda...locked up in it though. Least that's what I heard."

"Whatever." said Mike. "So, do you know any way that I can get to this so-called Princess of yours?"

"She's in Canterlot, in the middle of Equestria." said Fisher. "It's a long ways from here, dude."

"So how the sam hell do we get there?" asked Mike.

"We could take my fishing boat up to Vanhoover." said Fisher. "That's my hometown. But if I don't ship the fish I caught soon, I could lose my job."

"Then get your stupid fish sold already." said Mike. "I'm gonna take a look around town."

"Okay, buddy." said Fisher King.

Fisher went back to the marina, while Mike continued down the street. The particular street he was on was grimy and dark, with very few lights coming from the buildings. Occasionally, traffic passed by in the form of stage-coaches and wagons transporting ponyfolk while still being pulled by other ponyfolk. Some ponyfolk passed by him in shabby outfits that weren't much better than the one he wore back in Liberty. Some of them took suspicious glances at him before continuing on. He turned a corner into a back-alley to get to the next district. Suddenly...

There was a stampede of hooves behind him, and a group of ponies in ragged outfits galloping after him, some of them even wielding lead pipes and baseball bats.

"And here we go with this crap again..." Mike muttered.

He bolted down the alley, the gang in hot pursuit of him. He raced down the alley, taking turns here and there to try and shake them off, until he reached a more brightly-lit street. He was getting tired from all the running, especially since he wasn't used to having hooves. He had to find a way to escape the vagabonds.

He wound up colliding with a middle-aged stallion with a briefcase, incapacitating him. Mike grabbed the briefcase, and used it as a shield to try warding off the attackers. Suddenly, a stagecoach stopped by, with a yellow-and-black color scheme, indicating it was a taxi.

"C'mon!" shouted the driver. "Hop in!"

Not wanting to question what was happening, Mike jumped into the cab, with the case still in his hooves.

"Step on it!" he shouted.

The cabbie bolted on, carrying the taxi behind him at a fast speed. In a few moments, the gang and the old stallion were out of sight.

"Looks like I just got you outta there just in time." said the cabbie, once they stopped.

"How'd you know I was here?" asked Mike.

"I was just passing by when I saw those guys chasing you, so I thought I'd get you a free ride out of their territory."

"Who were they?"

"They call themselves the Pythons." said the cabbie. "They've been causing problems here for decades."

"Pythons?" repeated Mike.

"Yeah." said the cabbie. "They really don't mess around. So anyways, any place you want me to drop you off?"

"Um..." Mike hesitated. "Actually, I was thinking. Why don't you take me to your company?"

"What for?"

"I was hoping to get a job." said Mike. "And I used to drive a taxi back in my hometown. I'm a damn good driver, too."

"You sure?" asked the cabbie. "Las Pegasus can be a dangerous place."

"So was Liberty." said Mike. "Didn't stop me from surviving."

"Okay, well..." said the cabbie. "My shift's gonna be over soon anyway. I guess I could bring you in for a few when I bring the taxi back."

"So you're sure you wanna be a cab driver?" asked Gold Bar, the head of Gold Bar Taxi Co..

"Sure." said Mike.

"Do you have any experience as a driver?"

Mike reflected on all the driving he did when he was in Liberty City.

"Definitely." said Mike.

"Do you have any prior work experience?"

Mike thought again about all the jobs he did before he left Liberty. Not wanting to bring up the jobs he did for the various criminals and gangs he worked with, he decided to list the odd jobs he did in his spare-time.

"Let's see, I've been a taxi driver, a firefighter, a street racer, an ambulance driver, and a vigi...I mean, 'lawman'."

"Well, it sounds like you've got quite a few professions under your belt." said Gold Bar. "And since you used to be in law enforcement, I'm gonna assume you don't have a criminal status?"

"Sorta." said Mike, stammering for an alibi. "I mean, I used to...be an...uhhhh...undercover cop."

"Really." said Gold Bar. "What, were you afraid of your cover being blown?"

"Nah, I was sick of the other cops attacking me, thinking I was some friggin' low-life gangster."

"And any reason why you kept changing those other jobs?"

"I didn't really stop." said Mike. "I just went back and forth between them because of how profitable they were. Since I'm in a new town and trying to forget about my old one, I figured that the first thing I'd do to get started with a new life is doing something not only legit, but something I don't need special training for. Being a cabbie will be a walk in the park compared to what I normally did back in my old town."

"Well, if you're sure you're up to this..." said Gold Bar.

"I'm sure I am." said Mike. "And you don't need to worry about me. I can handle myself if any more punks try attacking me. I'll make 'em wish they were never born."

"Ha! I like your style, Mike." said Gold Bar. "We could use more ponies like you around here. Okay, you can start next Monday."

"Thanks." grinned Mike.

"Are you gonna need anything else?" asked Gold Bar.

"Yeah." said Mike. "How's about a ride down to the docks?"

"No prob." said Gold Bar. "I'll dispatch one for ya right aways."

Mike left Gold Bar's office, carrying the strange briefcase with him. He found himself wondering what was in it. He tried to open the case, but it was locked and needed a key that he didn't have on him. He looked closely at the back of the case, and saw the initials "S.E." engraved on it.

"Maybe I should hold onto this." Mike muttered under his breath. "Least 'til I know what the hell's in it."