Just a Dae dreamer

I have no problem with royalty, I’m British, we have a Queen, I have no idea what she does but you know... we have one. The reason why I'm freaking out is because this universe is conspiring against me. Seriously I'm a table cleaner with no marketable skills except level 2 in IT, who chooses not to interact with others unless needed out of laziness.

Heck if it wasn't for a certain experience I would have joked how my sheer amount of laziness is keeping me from killing myself. There just some lines you don’t cross and for me, joking about that sort of thing was one of them.

Anyway by all accounts I am not the kind of person who should be handling this kind of thing.

“We apologise for asking this again but are you alright Jonathan Day?” the blue one asked using my whole name which felt weird because most people call me Jon. I also felt she thought my last was spelled D A Y which is understandable really everyone else does it.

‘What the frick-ka-dee-doo-daa is her name?! She told me like less than a minute ago and now I’ve forgotten. Fricking bellickers! I can remember every movie, TV program and face I see but I always forget names. WHATS THE POINT OF REMEMBERING FACES IF NOT NAMES?!’

“Yeah, I'm fine thank you” I smiled putting on a mask of calm indifference as is the way of my people. ‘Yeah everything is ok except I’ve forgotten the name of royalty in less than ten seconds.’

“Really? Because you haven’t touched the food you were so eager for” said the white one making a decent point with a teasing smile.

‘Not you too Tall-ly Mcpointyhead who I should never cards with.’ Seriously I had a great aunt who was bit of a card shark so I know an iron-clad poker face when I see one. I scratched my head as I mentally resigned ‘I guess I'm not going to get anywhere if keep all of it bottled up, better let some of it out.’

‘but not everything’

“I'm sorry, I guess the whole situation has kinda gotten to me. After having a few weird dreams, one of which is could actually be real-“ ‘That pegasus one is starting to seem more plausible by the minute’ while thinking this, I managed to notice a look the two gave each other. “- I end up waking in a unfamiliar place surrounded by food, I mean don’t get me wrong I'm not complaining or anything but when I discovered I'm not wearing any of my clothes while being in the company of royalty,-“ they gave a little nod to that “-things got a little worrying for me.”

‘And right now my gut is so tight, that if I do manage to poop in the near future it’ll be a diamond but I'm not going to tell you two that.’

I was trying to come off grateful so I won’t offend but slightly nervous as well so I could try to convey my point of view to them for sympathy. Obviously hearing my mental nerves straining like the steel of the titanic, the white one spoke in effort to get me to open up. “Yes, well Jonathan Day nopony ‘noPony?’ can blame you for feeling a little under pressure. ‘A little? You’re a fricking alien princess!’ Perhaps if you tell us something about yourself you might feel more at ease”

‘Why are you talking like a school councillor? What the heck is your name?!’ it took me longer than I care to admit to catch up to the conversation. “I'm sorry but by something you mean?” I asked worried of how much in depth I might have to get about the human race for a guy who failed history and biology.

“Now don’t worry, I promise nothing too strenuous just something to help us get to know you better”

‘Great’ I honestly thought this would be a prime opportunity to show off my good and hopefully redeeming parts.

...

‘I got nothing’

You know those times in school were you would know answer to some question but when the teacher calls you up to the front for it you completely blank out on it? Well this was one of those times.

‘Oh bugger me up a chimney’

The awkward silence had become so thick that I could eat it, if only my nerves currently didn’t have a death grip on my appetite.

As if she was answering my desperation the blue unipeg took the opportunity to suggest something “If you would not mind Jonathan Dae, we would very much like to hear more about these dreams you mentioned earlier” ‘THANK YOU OH WONDROUS EQUINE!... wait what?’

“Dreams?” I'm fairly certain I'm starting to come off as a brain damaged parrot but they were honestly and consistently blind siding me here. Normally no one is interested in my dreams though I do use them as idle conversation at work on slow days.

“Yes, we have a personal interest in dreams but if it is considered offensive then please forgive us” ‘huh posh people... well ponies at least rarely use apostrophes’

“Oh no sorry, I mean it’s not offensive or anything. I was just surprised that you’ll be interested and please just call me Jon ok?”

They nodded in an understanding way. “As you wish Jon. And though I don’t share Luna’s ‘LUNA! The blue one’s name is LUNA! It’s Italian for moon! Or was it Latin? Or was that lunar? As in the lunar rover.’ specific interest, if it is a subject you’re comfortable with then I would also like to hear them” the tallest told me with a relaxed tone ‘why do I feel like I'm being examined? And what on earth is your name unipeg-that’s-not-luna?’

Though being here and talking like this to creatures I found so intimidating at first has loosened my nerves a bit. ‘Man I'm hungry’ I remembered while being a little embarrassed that I actual forgot that I was hungry, one of few things I thought I would never be dumb enough to do.

‘Well they did said they wouldn’t mind’ I assured myself as I ate a small tomato ‘mm crunchy like I'm eating a snail.’ Giving off a small exhale. “Ok so talk about my dreams? It seems easy enough” I budged around in the bed to get comfortable and the two followed suit lying next to each other but still keeping a safe distance.

Though to be fair the odds are good that they would be talking me down from the window if it wasn't for my phobia that is.

“Well I guess I’ll start with the most recent one I can remember, off the top of my head that is.” I told them about the field and desert dream first they looked especially interested when I mentioned the pointy cloud fishes for some reason.

Then the dream with the manticore, though I didn’t tell them that what I thought it was because I was still trying to come off somewhat normal. I know through experience that bringing up the fact you have knowledge about mythical creatures which to most people means the same as imaginary friends never helps... unless you’re in a pub quiz and it comes up.

Luna looked at me like I was that one monkey out of a million who wrote Shakespeare. The white one just laid there unchanging, listening and looking like she heard a lot more than what I said.

I decided to push passed it and keep talking while eating. It was actually very therapeutic talking like this, not about anything of any importance just talking to have noise in the room.

I moved onto the fighting dream, I was quick to explain to them that I am not nor am I ever a violent person and even in the dream the anger felt somewhat... artificial. They understood perfectly which seemed weird to me because I didn’t even understand it and it was my dream.

‘I think I should be worried at how many questions I have to remember to ask’ I remember thinking to myself as we chatted. Even though I was doing the lion’s share they didn’t seem to mind.

I moved on to the falling dream, intentionally skipping the one with the pegasus mainly because I'm not entirely certain it was a dream and I didn’t want to seem dumber than I already do.

“- I even remember how the wind felt as I fell” I commented on the sheer realism of the dream as I finished my plate setting it to one side. “It was the most real one I can remember having” ‘though the manticore one felt kinda real but there was a manticore in it, so it’s a dream until proven otherwise.’

They both looked at me sympathetically but it was the white one who spoke up while Luna avoided eye contact “My no wonder you were so distressed when we entered.” ‘That and you are a flying horse with the weaponry of a rhinoceros, guess which one took priority and will somebody say her blimming name already?! I don’t even care who or what; Luna, a bird, my shoelace or even that banana over there and I KNOW IT KNOWS!’

‘Stupid all knowing banana not sharing with the rest us’

“Yeah sorry about that, I guess I was in shock or something” I admitted with a small chuckle feeling a little stupid for mentally overreacting the way I did ‘good thing I suppress most of my feelings as a life rule no matter how unhealthy people said it was and you know those people have never found themselves in front of a pair of pointy pony princesses’

“First we thank you for sharing with us but it is as we have previously stated. We understand your feelings and there is no need to keep apologising.” ‘It must be hard for Luna to sound formal and considerate at the same time, you would’ve thought the two would conflict but she pulls it off.’

“I know but that’s easier said than done, I mean no offence to you guys I'm thankful for the food and bed ‘technically beds’ but... it’s all kind of mentally draining.”

“It is perfectly alright Jon, both Celestia ‘CELESTIA! THAT’S HER NAME! Like celestial body... I think ooh! It sounds like celery and she’s tall so she’s Celery stick! And Celery stick is Celestia’ and myself were actually quite nervous over meeting you”

“Me?” ‘Aww man I forgot that I'm the alien to them. Considering everything it’s a fair judgement that I'm the first human they’ve seen’

Celestia nodded “that’s right Jon, we were uncertain of your character and we wanted to assess you of shorts.”

“So getting me to talk was some kind of test?”

“In a sense yes but it was not a lie when I said we wanted to get to know you better”

I could see that Celestia thought she might of offended me, if a was a mean kind of person I might of played on this but I'm not nor do I have any desire to be.

“It’s ok princess I can understand why you did and I'm ok with it really. To be honest I'm relieved now, I mean I’ve never been in a situation anywhere near this one and I have no idea how to handle it. So I figured that I’ll go by however you were going about it and seeing that you two were also a bit apprehensive though not as much as I am but considering-“

“Jon” Luna called snapping me out of my rambling.

Realising what I just did, I smiled apologetically “heh sorry it started off as a conversation but then I started to think out loud.”

Celestia just smiled a kind smile which was a little creepy to me but I think that’s just a by-product of living on my own without having the need to be concerned about anyone for too long.

‘Ahe smiles like she knows me... I'm not sure how to feel about that.’

“Thank you for your understanding Jon though I do have one question about your dreams.” Something felt not quite right about how she said dreams but I ignored that suspicious pulse in the back of my head.

‘I already told them about my dreams what harm could answering a question do?’

“Ask away” I shrugged

“Earlier you mentioned that you had doubts over a particular dream and if it was in fact a dream. Which one was it?”

‘Oh boy.’

“Well about that, it was the one dream I skipped. I thought it best not to mention it until I found out if it was”

Both princesses suddenly wore this face of disappointment and it... hurt. ‘I feel like I just let down my mum or my best fr-‘

My brain paused as it passed on a bad memory ‘... something’

“Again we understand your feelings Jon and your fears of opening up to us” Luna started

“But we had hope that we’ve gained enough of your trust that you’ll feel safe to share with us” Celestia ended

‘Am I seriously getting guilt tripped by ponies?’

“I know, it was stupid thing for me to do and I'm sorry but I honestly didn’t know what to make of it” I told them hoping to move on from this.

“If you tell us we may be able to help” Luna convinced me.

‘No one should be going through this much trouble when talking about dreams’

I sighed hard as I rubbed the back of my neck “ok I’ll talk, it was a dream I had after the fighting one but after seeing you guys I'm not so sure about it”

“That’s fine Jon we’ll help with whatever it is” Celestia reassured ‘there has never been anyone so interested in my dreams, it’s starting to worry me’

I told them about the pegasus dream but like the manticore one I didn’t say pegasus I just said winged pony that was quite small compared to them. I mentioned the cupcake mainly because it was a good cupcake. I talked about how I freaked out and that I was planning on talking to the ponies in my dream but I completely snapped under the pressure and panicked.

I didn’t remember much about what happened after that. I mean I tried to remember but it was like tuning for a low powered radio station. I knew it was there but the static drowned it out.

“Don’t push yourself.” Celestia told me, clearly seeing that I was struggling with my memory gap, I don’t normally but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I forgot a pretty crucial gap.

“Celestia is right Jon. ‘I'm really starting to feel slightly inadequate when it comes to names here.’ You have been through enough for today”

“I think it’ll be for the best if we allow you to rest for today ‘it’s starting to sound like they’re avoiding that particular dream and I haven’t actually asked any questions. I’ve only repeated words as questions, maybe I should say something about this.’ and tomorrow to our best ability we’ll answer any questions you may have ‘you’re reading my mind right now aren’t you?... please don’t kill me.’ and you can answer ours ‘Ah!’ only to your best ability of course”

‘Phew. Alright princesses get ready to somehow know even less tomorrow’ not that I was planning to lie, I'm just that stupid.

But I figured some time to gather and organise my questions wouldn’t be a bad thing but I needed some way to relive the tension inside. The talking helped but there are just some things that can only be vented by physically doing something.

‘Maybe I should go for a walk.’

“Though we request that you stay in your room”

‘Well that’s that idea shot down but I can see their point and even though they look like they trust me right now. I wouldn’t blame them for setting something up so I won’t get far even if I do try to run. Maybe they’ll let me do something else.’

Setting my clean plate aside I looked to them and tried to be as polite as possible which also meant not using apostrophes for some reason “I understand Princesses but there is something I would like to request”

I think they are starting to trust my character a little because they didn’t look at me like they thought I was going to make some unreasonable demand.

“Please let us know how we can help” Luna asked as they both got up leisurely.

“Well it isn’t anything big just some paper and a pencil.”

They both looked back at me with pleasantly surprised expressions on their faces. “Oh? Do you wish to write something?” Luna asked with an eager tone.

“I'm afraid not, sorry.” I gave an apologetic smile but the drooping of the ears made me feel kind of bad ‘great now I feel like I’ve let her down.’ “I just like to draw sometimes.”

Her expression perked up so fast I could swear I heard a ting. “So you’re an artist then?”

I had to shrug at that. “I wouldn’t really say that. It’s not as if I’m trying to be humble or anything, it’s just that every time I’ve ever drew, I’ve never really considered myself as an artist, to me I’ve always been just a guy who draws.”

Celestia smiled giving a slight nod ‘man I can read Luna like a fricking kid’s book compared to her sister, seriously is she a cyborg or something?’ “I see. Well we’ll be sure to get you you’re supplies.”

The unipegs turned and began to trot out. As they did I couldn’t help but notice that they had odd markings on their thighs. Celestia’s was a large sun and Luna’s a crescent moon on a black splotch. ‘I wonder if it means they’re opposites or something related to royalty maybe? It seems odd if they didn’t have a reason considering they’re princesses and...

“Oh and Jon.” As Luna walked out, Celestia stopped and looked right at me without turning or breaking her expression.

...I’ve been staring at them for far too long haven’t I?’

I gulped wondering what the punishment was for staring at a highness’s hindquarters “yes princess?”

“When you hear a knock on the door that’s just your drawing supplies but it would be best if you could wait a couple of minutes before retrieving them”

My butt unclenched.

“Err sure thing”

“Thank you” she trotted out closing the door but not before she added something “if you need to use the facilities, there is an on suite bathroom through that door” she gestured to the door in the corner.

‘HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT?! I was desperate enough to pee in a vase but I couldn’t see fricking door in the corner? How blimming thick am i?!’

“Oh I didn’t notice that, thanks”

She nodded again and closed the door.

And thus ended my first encounter with royalty and possibly aliens, ‘they never did tell me weather the dream was real or not.’

I let out a relieved sigh as well as a fart I’ve been holding in ever since they said they’re royalty.

‘well I guess all things considered that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be now I just have to wait for tomorrow and think about what questions I should ask.’

I spent the rest of the day eating and going to the toilet though I’ve yet to have any number twos which is weird because normally I'm quite regular. ‘I guess it’s another thing I have to wait for.’

The supplies came and I did wait before bringing them in from the hall. I could understand why Celestia wanted me to wait I mean I must look just as weird to them as they do to me. The princesses were probably prepared for it but it would cause a needless fuss if some other pony freaked out other me.

‘So I have to play by their rules... ok I have no problems with that, they probably have a better understanding of the situation than I do. So it would be best if I just let them handle it and go along for the ride’

Eating some more I decided to let my mind take a rest from all this and I began thinking what to draw.

I heard commotion coming from the window, so I decided to check it out.  Only by looking down from a frightening height did  I remembered that I am afraid of heights though I did catch a glimpse of gold and white pony like dot fighting what looked like a giant oddly familiar flower.

‘Should I be worried about that? Eh if I need to be I will be soon enough.’ I lazily figured as I went back to my afternoon and soon of eating and drawing.