Countdown to Fluffy Destruction! GET THE CHOPPA!!
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Countdown to Fluffy Destruction! GET THE CHOPPA!!
Death By Fluff
Written By
Serra Quill
~#~
How did this happen, Princess Twilight thought as she lay in a huge pile of pink frosting layered above treble chocolate deluxe cake make, thats right... her.. Twilight flapped around in anger as the mass of fluff behind her grinned menacingly.
Golden Oaks Library
Twilight was rearranging the shelves and tidying before her guest arrived, somepony very, veeery~ important was coming. Two days before hoof she had received her first blue ribbon letter, her letters from Celestia were color coded. Red were for matters of emergency, Purple for matters of state (lately just applied due to her sudden Princesshood), Green for lessons. Lastly we have blue, only few ponies had ever received such an esteemed letter from the Princess, a blue letter was a request for personal matters by Celestia herself and Twilight had received one.
Sure, it wasn't exactly what she thought her first blue ribbon would be but... how hard could foalsitting be? It was also Celestias niece so she was sure to be polite and well mannered so of course she had accepted... but.. Celestia had sent a second letter.
The letter had read as such:
Dear Princess Twilight,
Thank you for accepting but may I repeat what I had said in the previous letter in greater detail, this is no ordinary request, it will be the most arduous task I have ever given anypony... ever! Even Cadence has had trouble with her cousin from now and again, as such I would like to... reform my niece, and as such I cannot find anypony willi I mean, I could only think of you for such a task. If after being given this letter you still wish to take the task at hoof, I would be very greatful and shall send her over at the weeks end.
Good Day, Princess Celestia, Direarch of Equestria.
PS. I really did warn you so... no take back okay?
It was weird that she was warned, how bad could a foal be? if only she knew.
A knock came at the door to the library, Twilight called out to Spike to answer it, he complied as he promptly opened and invited in one of the guards. By the time Twilight had come to the front room she saw a golden clad pony stood stoically near the door as he awaited something.
Why is he just stood there? wheres Celestias niece? Twilight thought to herself as she caught sight of another guard slowly backing his way through the door, on a closer look she could see that he had his helmet off and he was tilting his head as something dropped out of a brown bag he held in his mouth. Twilight came forward just a few steps away, raising a hoof to tap the guard, "Excuse me, where would the Princess' niece be?" to which the guard turned around and looked Twilight in the face.
The guard looked from Twilight to the brown bag a few times before dropping it at Twilights forehooves, to which Twilight examined confused, "Why do you have a brown bag with chocolates, no less wasting them by putting them on the floor?"
The guard pulled his neck back up as he sighed loudly, very unusual for a guard, "You will see Princess." On second look Twilight could see the guard was worse for ware, his eyes were bloodshot and his mane was a mess... very unusual indeed.
Twilight heard a small noise coming from the door... it sounded quite like the word pinkie uses when she is enjoying a new muffin, I think the word was... nomm. Twilight then saw the huge shadow looming just in front of the window on the door, then two orbs flashed into light... then the orbs planted themselves onto the glass as whoevers muzzle made the glass misty as they sniffed. Twilights stood completely shocked at the pink fuzzy, thing, that was apparently trying to eat her windows... failing terribly whilst drool splotched everywhere, "Is that?," nod from the guard, "bu-"
The guard stood at attention as he made his way over to the door, the pink menace still pressed firmly against the glass, "May I introduce, Fluffle Puff, Princess Celestias niece," he said as he opened the door.The door slammed against the book case as it swung, the fluffy pink pony face planted on of the chocolates on the floor as she kept her muzzle firmly against the ground. Seconds later after Twilight stood mouth open wondering if the creature had died upon impact, the sound of somepony wrapping their tongue to create a boat sound came from the pink thing... Fluffle Puff then proceeded to move along the floor and "hoover" up the chocolaty delights without removing her muzzle from the floor.
Twilight stood in amazement and horror at how impossible the situation was... sure this wasn't Pinkie they were talking about but to say the Princess' own niece was this... this fluffy pony was, ludicrous. Twilight watched as it ate the last of the chocolates that lay upon the ground, the mass of fluff slithered its way over to the front of Twilight as it popped its head into the brown bag and immediately destroyed the last of the innocent sweets, sending them to oblivion. Then there was just green, then pink, then chocolate covering her mane... that she had just washed.. like ten minutes ago. Twilight then promptly began to scream, to which was no surprise, all who meet the mass of pink destruction eventually snap.
As she stopped she noticed the guards stumbling out of the door in haste, "Wait! I cant do this," Twilight said as she tried to move past Fluffle, to which Fluffle clamped around her neck making popping noises with her mouth... "Come back damn you... Buck!"
You totally looked for more story, the story is a lie, fluffle puff is the truth! All hail Mistress Fluffle Puff, Overlord of all Ponykind!!
Author's Note
Hey Hey Hey, what I tell you about reading... nothing.. well. this is just for fun guyz, whether you liked it or not I am glad you have read it, just know I am trying my hardest to get this last semester done and then I am full throttle in my main stories... final essay soon, 5500 out of 10000 for my dissertation and I am due on the 25th so I thought I would put out this silly Idea I had this morning as a break from my RL problems, anywho everypony enjoy and I will cya guyz latterrr~ xxx
Black Dynamite! I threw that shit before I got in the library!!
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Black Dynamite! I threw that shit before I got in the library!!
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?: Albert Einstein
Death By Fluff
Chapter Two
Twilight always had a real tolerance in all aspects of life, never one to fray from a challenge, even when she was just a filly she had taken all the abuse others had given her in stride. So why does she only now realize that Applejacks gift of AppleJack Daniels is a heaven sent? Fluffle Puff is why, for the past one hour, forty three minutes and thr- fou- five seconds she has been bouncing on her brown couch in the front room of the library.
What better way to drown one's sorrows that AppleJD, with one last look at the bottle she chugged the rest down, still feeling nothing. "Damn Alicorn resilience, damn Celestia and her conniving schemes, damn... " her rant was cut short but a fuzzy muzzle making a quick dive for her face. It took a full three minutes to wrestle the rambunctious Earth mare away from her, At least I think she is an Earth Mare.
With a jittery start Twilight had decided to form some sort of sensible conversation from the pink mass of mayhem, "Err... so, how come we haven't met before, I have known Prince- I mean, Celestia since I was a filly?" Her only reply was a sidewards glance of a contemplating Fluffle.
The pink mass made a quick get away into the kitchen before promptly returning with paper and a quick in her mouth, dumping them on the ground and sitting on her rump she grasped the quill in her mouth before beginning to draw. A few seconds later she held the pieces of paper up which held small "Capshuns", the first was of a small fuzzy filly playing with blocks as another taller slender pegasus walked up to her.
The caption read, "Fluffle, its time for a bath, are you ready?" quickly dropping the paper and showing a new one which looked closely to David Yarnhams "Natures Scream was held up but the pony in the picture was more fluffy. Dropping it once more showed the next picture, depicting a cruel dictator, coined "THE EVIL ONE!!!!!!!" with exactly seven exclamation marks. After which she quickly ran back to the kitchen to retrieve more paper.
Twilight picked up the papers on the floor with her magic, holding them just close enough to get a better look at them, the tall slender pony looked quite closely to Cadence in a way... just without a horn. It was rather strange as well that the pictures were rather detailed and exquisite for the short amount of time she had to draw, guess she really is the Princess' Niece.
A black figure slinked up to the library as the setting sun made its way over the horizon, her trophy mere walls away from her, only one problem sat between them, "Sparkle!" the figure whispered angrily. With a blush upon her black carapace she looked through the window at the unexpected warden of her fair maiden in distress, "you will pay dearly for taking her from me, I will have her, even sun butt wont get in my way this time"
Twilight sat looking at the image slowly, the screaming face of the mare on the piece of paper was probably one of the most artistic pieces she had ever seen, if only she could push her into more refined works she would... again, her train of thought was interrupted.
The front of the library went up in smoke as green flames arose from the smoke, slowly a large creature made its way through the flames to be seen, Twilight stood and turned on the creature in a defensive stance, "Chrysalis!"
"Where is she? where have you locked her up?"
"wai-wha?" Twilight confused as she saw Chrysalis' face, her eye twitching as her carapaced cheeks somehow looked slightly pink.
Chrysalis strode forward two steps and planted her hoof down strongly, "where have you trapped her! tell me you heathen or forever face the consequences"
Twilight looked at her very confused, raising an eyebrow as she looked at her once foe, "who? I haven't trapped anyone, who are you on about?"
Chrysalis began treading the spot under her left forehoof, her green mane draping over her muzzle in much the same way as Twilights butterscotch friend, whispering something incoherent.
"whazzat?"
Another nonsensical mumble came from the changeling queen.
"One more time, I can't hea-"
"Where is my Fluffiekin?" Chrysalis shouted as she blushed furiously, tears threatening to drop from her face.
Twilight backed away without moving her hooves, leaning back as she stared dumbfounded at the changeling, Fluf-Fluffikin? "you gotta be shittin me?" at the mention of Fluffikin in bounced Fluffle puff who squeeked in delight as she saw the changeling.
After getting all the way over the Chrysalis in one bounce... quite a feat even in Pinkie-terms, she nuzzled against the large noir creature, it was quite cute but sickening at the same time to Twilight, her once enemy was now flirting with the Princess' niece... what else could go wrong.
Lets see, first theres Fluffle Puff herself, then the changeling... my front room wall has been decimated and I have run out of AppleJD.. that still does not affect my anatomy in the slightest, buck. Twilight had never once before thought a thought with that many run on commers ever, literally ever, literally. Twilight shook her head as she snapped herself out of her stupor, "S-so let me get this straight, you came here for Fluffle? is that correct?"
The changeling realizing once again the warden of her fair maiden was present she looked up and stood guard against the fiend, "Yes, your tyranny ends here Sparkle! FlufflePuff shall be free to be friends and... and," blushing profusely, "Lovers," one raspberry and a blush, side dish of cute hoof to face gesture from fluffle later, "with anyone she chooses and you cant stop us," Chrysalis said as she pulled the mare into an embrace.
To which the fluffy one continued her nuzzling, "Okay, okay, okay," Twilight said as she used her front forehooves in a calming manner, "So how did this begin again? I mean, you two, clearly I'm missing something?"
Chrysalis looked at her with dull resolution, her face physically loosing pixels as she had to think, "you mean she didn't tell you?"
"who?"
"her?"
"... who?"
"Celestia?"
"Tell me what now?"
"About this," Chrysalis said as she gestured a hoof back and forward between fluffy mass and carapace.
The blunt answer of, "no," was her only reply. Twilight scrubbed her mind for answers before finally giving up, "Care to elaborate?"
Chrysalis looked down into the eyes of her pink wonder, they told of many secrets but spoke little words, one raspberry later was the only confirmation she needed to spill the proverbial beans of there story. "It started many years ago, four now I think?" she said looking down, a smile looking up back at her, "yes, four. The Changelings were having many troubles and I had to find a way to help our civilization, that was when I went to see sun butt. That... that was when I met F-f-f-fluffykin," she said as she blushed, "I saw her in all her glory as the pastry chef ran for his dear life away from the rocket propelled triple decker chocolate supreme swiss cake," sharp intake of breathe, "it was dreamy," she said looking down, Fluffle Puff's eyes looked up into hers replying with, je t'aime.
Chrysalis blushed before coughing again, "We... dated for a while but then some complications came up, mainly of a certain cousin of hers having problems with a two hundred and forty seven year old changeling dating her seventeen year old cousin, silly newly crowned alicorn had no idea of the depth of our connection. That was around the time I had met you Sparkle, My maiden was captured and taken from me, whisked away to Canterlot castles inner depths by that heathen of a Princess Cadence, so I devised a plan. I disguised myself as her and sneaked into the castle to find the whereabouts of my love cushion," another blush and another hoof to face gesture, "though I didn't think it was three days before a large wedding, also frank got spotted stealing Celestias cake stash so she put the castle on high alert. After which I found Cadence and on a spurt of the moment thing locked her in the basement of the castle... not my brightest idea"
"Soooo~ the whole wedding take over thing was just"
"An accident, yes"
"And you two?"
"Lovers," and Raspberry.
"I'm gunna need a whole lot more AppleJD," Twilight said with a sigh, to which Flufflepuff placed some aviator glass' on, Chrysalis also fumbled to get her pair on. When both had them firmly on they posed in front of Twilight with the forehhooves crossed, "what are you doing?"
"Being a boss before FlufflePuff brings out her secret stash of booze," at which point Fluffle intaked a large amount of air and held it in, ten seconds later she released it as bottle after bottle came from her fur.
Twilight looked at her floor at all of the booze, "I don't care, I don't wanna know and I just want a drink, buck the front door I will deal with it in the morning... also... you know what I don't even wanna know anymore," she gestured to the changeling and fluffy mayhem pair who just clinked their first bottles of JD, at this point Twilight picked up as many bottles of all the various drink on the floor as she could and went to town on them, hoping to at least be somewhat buzzed by morning.
"Buck my life!" she was about to chug her first bottle but stopped, "wait... who's Frank?"
