Author's Note

Sorry for the long delay, I decided to be a lazy ass. Although 4 days is nothing compared to some of the stories I've seen... *CoughCastleLifeCough* *CoughVinyl&Octavia:UniversityDaysCough*

Anyway, the art was not of my own. The beautiful artist is here: Clickity Click

IV

Celestia and I were silently making our way to the courtroom, mentally preparing ourselves for the hours ahead. I had made sure to grab my stuff from the nightstand before we left, hoping to do something to keep my mind off of the whiny nobles, always wanting something or another. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, checking the time. 7:27, we were cutting it close, but I presumed we’d make it. I looked up from the floor, glancing around, taking in the architecture of the hallway. The ceilings were barreled, with lights every 10 meters or so. I wondered about the lights; how they seemed to always stay lit even though as far as I knew there was no electricity to speak of.

“How do these lights work?” I questioned, snapping Celestia out of her thoughts.

“What?” She asked, confused.

“The lights, they’re always on, but there’s no electricity to speak of here.” I replied

“Oh, they’re run by the passive magic of the unicorns in this city. They can technically be turned off—“ She lights her horn, flicking the light above us on and off a couple times, “—But we tend to leave them on, for the guards when they swap shifts.” She finishes.

“Fair enough.” I nod, continuing our trek. I looked at my watch. “Seven thirty-two.” I announced, alerting Celestia.

She looks at me, unimpressed. “I deal with them for the majority of the day, they can deal with me being a few minutes late.” She says.

“I guess you can look at it that way.”

We finally arrived, the guards opening the door for Celestia and I. I nodded at them in appreciation, even though I was well aware that both Celestia and I could open the door with very little effort. I glanced around the throne room, it was the same room as before, with the different stained glass. I grabbed the chair from yesterday, spinning it so I could sit. I noticed some blank parchment, asking celestia if I could use it. She nodded, and I stood up and grabbed it, returning to my seat and pulling out my black pen, I began to sketch what I saw. I did a rough sketch of Celestia in her throne. Her hair was a bitch to sketch, because it never stopped moving. I finally got it to look decent, moving onto her head. I continued to sketch, not really thinking about what I was doing. I finished and placed the parchment on the floor, taking a picture of it with my phone before folding it and putting it in my pocket.

Just in case.

I pulled my phone out again, making sure I muted it before I started playing games. Finally, after what felt like hours, Celestia stood up from her throne, beckoning for me to follow her. I stood up from the chair, moving it back to where I got it. My stomach grumbled as I walked up to Celestia, sticking my tongue out at her.

“On a scale of hipsters to Apple to Samsung to Apple, how much do you…” I stopped as I realized she wouldn’t get my other worldly references. I sighed.

“On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate early morning court?” I corrected.

“Eight.” She replied simply. “You?”

“Ten, I can’t stand their whining.” I stated “We want this, we deserve this, this is our right. Wahwahwah.” I mimicked in as whiny a tone as I could muster, moving my fingers in a motion similar to a mouth.

“You got the voices spot on.” she chuckles.

I stick my tongue out at her, laughing along.

We both slowly finish giggling, walking towards the dining hall.

“What were you writing?” Celestia asks, curiosity plastered on her face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” I state, sticking my tongue out at her.

“My my, sticking your tongue out at the princess? We’ll have to teach you a lesson.”

“Alright, fine. Here.” I unfold the parchment, handing it to her. She takes it in her magic, gasping as she saw what it was.

“Sorry, I’m not very artistic, but I tried, I guess.” Squeaking as she hugged me.

“It’s great.” She says, still hugging me. I was not expecting such a strong reaction.

She finally pulled away, putting the picture back into my pocket. I straightened my shirt, walking alongside Celestia.

“So, about last night…” I trailed off, hoping that I didn’t have to start. Unfortunately, I did, as Celestia looked at me, waiting for me to finish.

“...Was that a one time thing, or is there a chance it could happen again?” I finished, looking away. I didn’t want to be alarmingly obvious that I had enjoyed it, but my social skills fail me yet again. I felt a tug on my lower jaw, pulling me face to face with Celestia.

“Do I look like the type of pony that would sleep with someone and go?” She asked, obviously unimpressed that I even thought she would act like that. “Even though nothing happened, we have mutual benefits to be gained from an arrangement. We both agreed that our sleep last night was one of the best we’d had in a long while. Although we might want to keep this on the down low, just in case. Wouldn’t want the newspapers to get the wrong idea.” She releases her grip on my face, allowing me to look away.

“Oh look, we’re here.” I say quickly, trying to get away from the topic. I quickly walk up to the door, the guards opening it as per usual.

Celestia walks in at her normal pace. “Good morning, sister. How was the night court?” Luna glances around.

“Oh, good morning to you as well, sister. The night court was tolerable, but I must ask, how can you tolerate them for the whole day, sister?” Luna replies, scrunching her face.

“It is not a simple task, but it is one you will have to learn on your own, sister.” She says vaguely.

“So, how about that breakfast?” I announce, booping Celestia on the nose for good measure.

The server walks in, calmer than yesterday, surprisingly. It seems these ponies adjust to new things easily. Or Celestia had something to do with it. Either way, I was grateful for the lack of fearful looks.

I order the same as yesterday, while Celestia orders a half dozen muffins. I decide not to test how hard I can push on her boundaries before it comes back to bite me in the ass. I smirk at her, swiveling back around. I look over at Luna, whom is lying with her face on the table. I chuckle, shaking my head. These fuckin’ ponies, always working themselves to the bone.
And so begins the wait for food. I start doing random things, drumming my hands on the table, drumming my fingers on the table, each getting shut down by Celestia with a glare. God, I hated ADHD. So. Fucking. Much. Finally, the food came, Celestia and I digging in. I glance over at Luna to see that she hasn’t touched her coffee. I glance back at Celestia. Apparently, we were both having the same thought. Celestia slowed her eating, placing a muffin down with a chuckle.

“What are we going to do with her now?” I ask, glancing back at Luna.

“I think I’ll get a guard to take her to her room.” Celestia responds, picking up her muffin again.

“No, once I finish I’ll take her to her room.”

“Are you certain? She’s heavier than she looks.” Celestia glances at me and her.

“Yeah, I can do it. Either way, I need the exercise to work off the weight from these pancakes.”

She nods, “We wouldn’t want you to get fat, now would we?”

I gasp, placing my hand on my heart, “Are you calling me fat?” I say in my best female voice.

I quickly finish, Celestia picking up my plate with her magic and placing it under her own. I wander over to Luna, placing one hand on her withers, with my other hand on her croup, I bent down and braced, pushing back up with my knees. Celestia was not kidding when she said that she weighed more than she looked. I walked out the door, the guards closing it behind me. I was amazed that none of the guards questioned what I was doing carrying the princess. I soon realized I had no idea where I was going, instead wandering the halls. By some miracle, Luna hadn’t woken up, I was glad for that. I could feel the strain on my muscles, what little muscle I had, warning me that if I didn’t put her down soon, they would. I glanced around, looking for a guard to ask for directions. I spotted a maid, wandering the halls, dusting random things. I took off towards her, grateful for my luck.

“Excuse me, miss. Would you know where Luna’s room is?” I quickly questioned.

“Yes, It’s th--” She stopped abruptly, apparently scared by my appearance.

“Please, miss. I need to get Luna to her room, and my arms aren’t going to last much longer.”

“I-it’s th-at way.” She pointed her feather duster down the hall.

“Thank you!” I exclaimed as I took off down the hall, my muscles screaming.

I found the room, finally. It had a large crescent moon, apparently based off of the one Luna has on her thigh. I pushed the door open with my back, glancing around the room. It was more or less identical to Celestia’s own room, but darker. The room was a dark blue, with with lighter blues, and blacks for trims and such, the cou--

PUT HER DOWN ALREADY!!!

Ah, yes, I’m still holding her. I rush to the bedside, placing one knee on the edge of the bed to place her in the middle of it. You turn to leave the room, before feeling a pull on your arm. You glance down to see what your arm is caught on, only to see the blue aura, the same one as… Luna.

You turn back around, looking at her.

“What is it, Princess?” I ask, flinching as I flex my arm.

“I wish to understand what it is that my sister sees in you.”

“Alllllll rigggghhhtttt?” I drag out my words, attempting to think. What is going on with my life? “What exactly does this entail?” I ask.

“We request that thee accompany us until we fall asleep.” She replies, acting as if it was a normal thing. Maybe it was, but it wasn’t for me.

I sigh “Do I really have a choice? I mumble, ignoring the muscle tics.

“You do have a choice, young Thaddeus. But if you choose not to, I will not give you my blessing to court my sister.” She replies simply.

“Makes sen… COURT?!?!?!” I yelled the last part, my brain in disagreement with her. “ARE YOU INSANE? I’VE BEEN HERE FOR 2 DAYS AN--”

“Do not yell at me, mortal, lest you feel the wrath of the night.” She snaps in a low tone. “You may have had a choice before, but now you no longer have the option of leaving. Now sit down!” She snaps the last two words, making you sit for fear of your life.

You dare not make eye contact, until you feel a tug on your face, pulling you towards her. You look at her, as she does you. you see her blink a couple times, the familiar glisten of tears. She drops you on the pillow beside her, rolling over.

“Princess Luna, I’m so so--”

“Words prove nothing, instead show me that you are sorry.” She says as she lifts her barrel, allowing me to move my arm under her and pull her closer.

I feel very dirty moments later. I presume this is the same feeling as cheating on someone, except I’m not in a relationship. This just feels… dirty, like I shouldn’t be here doing this. You don’t really have a choice now, and if you leave now she might cry.

“How long were you awake before we got here?” I asked, moving my hands across her stomach. My god it’s so soft.

“We awoke when you were asking the maid for directions.”

“Ah, and how long did you have this plan, to test me?”

“We did not have a plan, it was all very impromptu.”

“Oh.”

I decided if she wanted to test me, I’d test her. I brought my hand up behind her ear and began scratching. It’s a very satisfying feeling to have the feared “Princess of the Night” melting in your hands. She made a sound like a purr, which made me stop. I rested my hand over her side again, enjoying the warmth, although I was still trapped here. I still felt dirty. But I figured Celestia would understand that I didn’t have a choice… I don’t know why I felt dirty, but it was bothering me.

I tried to stop thinking about it and enjoy my forced cuddling. Why were these ponies so god damn soft, like shit, I can’t help but enjoy this just a bit. Luna wiggles closer in my arms, I move my hands appropriately to hold her. I rub my cheek on her neck, eliciting a light moan. That certainly stopped everything. I moved my head back to where it was before, running the tips of my fingers along Luna’s stomach. After about 45 minutes, she finally dropped, allowing me to escape. I was amazed she stayed awake that long, considering the whole reason I was here was because she fell asleep at the table.

Finally, I can get the fuck out of here.

I lifted Luna ever so gently, allowing my arm to slide under her. I stood up, shaking my arm to get the blood flowing, and walked over to the door. I turned the handle, pulling on the door… Locked, shit. The room was very, very dark, and I couldn’t see 2 feet in front of me. I pulled out my phone, adjusting the brightness so that I didn’t wake Luna, and shined it on the door. No deadbolt, no handle lock, nothing. I shined it through the crack, looking up and down. Finally, I found what I was looking for. There was a deadbolt, but it was magic only.

“Or credit card enabled.” I whispered, chuckling lightly.

There were small grooves in the deadbolt, about a centimetre in width. I pulled out my wallet, grabbing my bank card and sliding it in the crack, finding a groove and sliding it in. I wiggled it to the left, sliding the deadbolt slightly. This was a childhood dream come true, breaking in, or in this case out, like a thief. I pulled the card out a bit, moving the end I was holding to the left, finding another groove, I inserted. I repeated the process three more times.

That was a really long fucking deadbolt.

I sighed, opening the door and slowly closing it behind me.

“It’s time for me to skip town.” I stated to no one but myself, placing my bank card back in my wallet.

I took off the way I had come from, hoping to stumble upon someone, anyone, really. I glanced at my watch.

“10:12” I muttered, my mood from breaking out quickly deteriorating.

Why do I get the feeling these halls are changing? It seems like I’ve passed this armor at least 17 times. I yawned, holding my fist to my mouth out of habit. I staggered, holding my hand out to catch me. Leaning against the wall, I slid down to sit. I feel like a child who’s lost his mom in the mall. I want to yell for someone, but I’m too tired. I try to blink away the drowsiness, but once it takes hold, it never lets go. I slide to the side, curling up on the floor, passing out.

Suddenly I’m back home, eating breakfast with my family.

I look at all of them, shaking my head. It’s a dream, of course it would be.

I stand up from the seat, walking out the front door. It’s night time, why would my family eat breakfast in the middle of the night?

“Maybe we can elaborate, if you would let us.” Someone says, you take note of the royal we and deduct it’s Luna.

“How are you in my dream, Princess?” I question, turning to look at her.

“Ah, so naive is the human. We are the controller of the night and everything following it. Including dreams, nightmares, and coitus.” Wait, What!

“The last one was unnecessary, but if you insist… What is it you need now, Luna?” I questioned, dragging my hand across my mouth. Old habits die hard.

“Ah, yes. The main reason we came here!” She exclaims, apparently excited.

“Um, feel free to continue.” I state, grabbing the porch railing.

“We have come to a decision!” She yells, stopping again.

“Onnnn whaaattttt?”

“We have decided that we will allow you to court our sister!”

This again?

“Luna, you realize that--” She cuts me off

“Although it bothers me that you did not ask before, I have accepted that you--” I zone her out,looking over my old street. How did I come from here, sitting on my porch, to a world inhabited by ponies?

shaking my head sadly, I turn to look at Luna. She’s just standing there, looking at me. I wave my hand back and forth, snapping a couple times.

“Hello?” I ask, worried.

I pushed on the side of her, expecting her to move, but my hand just went through.

Oh god, I’m gonna fucking die.

Suddenly everything goes black.

I wake with a start, looking at my surroundings. It’s the hallways, that’s for sure, but it’s not stationary. I glance down to find Celestia, holding me in her magic.

“Howdy.” I say, groggy.

She jumps, her horn flickering from loss of concentration. She looks up to see me with my arms crossed.

“Oh, you’re awake. How was your nap in the halls?”

“Oh, y’know, it was sleep. I blame Luna. Carpets are pretty comfortable, though. What time is it?” I question, yawning.

“It’s currently 7:23. How long were you sleeping for?” She replies.

I start mumbling some numbers, “It was about 8:40 when I left the dining hall, it took me twenty minutes to get to Luna’s room, forty-five minutes IN her room, seven minutes to get out, and about fifteen minutes of wandering before I fell asleep, So I fell asleep at 10:07, and slept for… 9 HOURS?!?! HOW?!” I exclaimed.

“You were with Luna for forty-five minutes doing what?” Celestia asks.

“She wanted to know what you saw in me, and gave me permission to court you and such.” I said absent mindedly.

“What was the test?” She said, more and more concern in her voice.

“She wanted to cuddle, Iunno.” I continued, trying to check my math. Suddenly I was placed upright. “Good, my head was starting to hurt”

“Stay here, I need to go talk with my sister.” She ran off, leaving me to stay there and wait.

“I was asleep for 9 fucking hours, on top of my nights rest. What the fuck.” I glanced around, looking for Celestia.

She’s not here, you dickwad. Stay right here.

I leaned on the wall, tapping my foot. This is so fucking boring, shoot me now. I feel like I could run a marathon and then some.

“AHA, I can do laps around… don’t want to risk getting lost again, do we? Why not push ups?” I said to myself, lying down on the floor.

“Alright, let’s do this!” I placed my hands on the floor, lifting myself. “One… Two… Three… Four…” Suddenly I remembered why I don’t do pushups as my arms started to shake under 100 and some odd pounds, before giving out and letting my nose acquaint itself with the floor. I heard a crack and rolled over, grabbing my face.

“Fu-fu-FUUUCCCCKKKK!!!” I screamed, crying. I could taste iron, meaning I was bleeding, and if the feeling in hands was anything to go by, I was bleeding profusely.

I propped myself against the wall, crying into my hands while the blood pooled at the base of my palm. My mouth tasted of blood, and it was disgusting. I kept waiting for the golden flash, signalling that it was healed, but it never came.

“Thaddeus, are you alright?!” I heard Celestia exclaim, 5-10 feet to my right. I turned towards the source of the voice, not daring to take my hands away from my face.

“Not r--” I coughed on my blood, closing my mouth. I pulled my hands away from my face, revealing dried blood from my nose down.

Celestia gagged, turning away and running.

“Great, just fucking great. Fucking squeamish horses, when I need help, they just turn and run. Great, maybe I’ll get to sit here and bleed out.” I grumbled, still cupping blood, MY blood, which was now dripping onto my jeans.

It had been about 7 minutes, the blood was still running down my face, and my eyes were red from crying. I shook my head.

What the fuck were you thinking, you dickshit. You should have known you can’t do pushups for shit.

I heard hooves on the floor, turning to the sound. Celestia rounded the corner, with Luna in tow. At this moment, my nose started itching, a particularly slow drop of blood tickling my nose.

Oh no, ABORT! DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT SNEEZE! IF YOU FUCKING SNEEZE, I WILL KILL YOU!

My face contorted, nose scrunching up. Celestia walked to the left, stopping while Luna stopped dead ahead, looking concerned.

FLY YOU FOOL, FLY! GET OUT OF THE WAY!

I tried to stop it by inhaling through my nose, but it all went to the back of my throat. The itching reached a climax as I involuntarily drew my head back, involuntarily bringing my elbow to my mouth before I remembered I had blood in my hands. Everything went wrong.

The inertia from my arm moving to my face caused the blood to leave my palm and cake the wall, and I sneezed at the same time, the blood at the back of my throat acquainting itself with Luna and the wall behind her, while the blood from my nose coated the carpet.

Oh god why.