I blinked, and I blinked again, glancing around in a daze. I turned and looked to my right, seeing the blood all over the wall, and turned to the left, looking at Luna, who appeared to be a little red, whether it was from my blood, or from how pissed she was.

You’re fucked.

I pulled off my shirt, jumping up to try and clean off Luna.

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so, so, so, sorry! Please don’t kill me!” I said quickly, rubbing my shirt over all the blood, efficiently forcing it further into her fur. I turned to the left, finding Luna’s face a couple inches away from mine, staring deep into my soul.

“Thaddeus…” Luna growled.

“Y-Yes?”

“Stop.”

“I… Okay…” I lowered my head, looking at my bloody pants.

Suddenly there was a flash from Luna’s horn, and all the blood was gone, except for what was on me.

“Oh come on…” I grumbled, shrugging.

Luna turned away, walking back to her room, presumably. I turned to Celestia, looking at her quizzically.

“Come, Thaddeus, let her stew.” She said, gesturing with her head before turning away. I went to put on my shirt before remembering that it was bloody. I tucked it into the back of my jeans before taking off after Celestia.

“So, uh, what was all that running off about?” I questioned, noting that my voice was quite nasally.

“Who? Luna or me?” She responded, turning.

“You, I have a feeling I already know why Luna ran off.”

She sighed, making another turn “Nevermind that, what did you do to your nose?”

“I broke it, why? Does it look that bad?”

“No, no, not at all. It’s just… bleeding. A lot.”

I rolled my eyes, turning towards her. “Really? Never would have guessed. Y’know, considering I just coated a wall and your sister in it.”

Celestia took a final turn, opening the door before closing it behind us.

“Now, there’s no need to be sarcastic.”

I took my shirt out of the belt loop, finding the cleanest spot and wiping my face with it before I felt something tugging at the shirt.

“Hey, come over here and let me take a look at it.” Celestia says from the bed, tugging on the shirt repeatedly. I release the shirt, staggering back from the sudden lack of pulling. I watch my shirt fly across the room into an empty basket before walking towards Celestia, sitting on the edge of her side of the bed.

I see the soft golden light of Celestia’s horn, and the familiar feeling of something being engulfed by magic, the something in question being my nose.

“Interesting… Your nose is restructuring itself, albeit quite slowly. I imagine it should be fine by the end of the week. Is that normal?”

Alright, so the golden stuff only works instantly on small wounds, but speeds up healing on larger injuries, such as broken bones.

“No, I don’t think that’s normal, although I’ve never broken a bone, so I’m not a reliable source of information. But I’m at least thirty-seven percent certain that it doesn’t work like that. Keep in mind that’s thirty percent more certain than I usually am.” I responded.

“Nevertheless, you need to get cleaned up. Go shower and throw your stuff out the door, I’ll get it washed for tomorrow.” I nod, standing up and walking towards the bathroom.

I repeated the procedure from the morning, stepping out of the shower, I grabbed a towel from the rack, and wrapping it around my waist, I stepped out of the bathroom, holding the towel at my waist like my life depended on it. Celestia was on the bed with reading glasses on, a thick book in front of her.

“Cel, whereabouts are my clothes?”

“They’re in the wash, why?”

“I kinda need them.”

“Well, you’re out of luck. Now come to bed.”

I chuckled nervously, “I, uh, I kinda can’t.”

She slides a bookmark into the book, putting it on her nightstand before placing the glasses on top. “And why would that be?”

I chuckled again, glancing around the room for a way out of this conversation. “I, um, I would rather not get into that right now.”

“Well, then get into bed.”

I was sweating at this point, trying to find a way out of either of the options on the table.

“I, uh, I can’t do that either.”

“It’s one or the other, Thaddeus. Make your choice.”

Just get in the fucking bed man.

I inhaled deeply, walking towards the bed as Celestia rolled over, facing where I was going to be lying in a few moments. I exhaled and got under the covers, throwing the towel over the edge of the bed.

Oh god, what am I doing? Why couldn’t I just explain morning wood? Or the fact that there is no hiding place for our genitals. Shit shit SHIT. Let’s hope she doesn’t notice tomorrow, huh bud?

I inhaled deeply, taking in the same 3 smells. Although the mystery smell seemed a lot stronger… like, overpowering strong. I felt blood moving to the thunder down under, and that was it.

That smell, I know what it is… it’s f-no ph-... PHEROMONES. OH GOD, OH LAWD JESUS, THERE’S A FIRE.

During my thoughts, Apollo 18 was primed and ready for launch, all the while Celestia pulled herself closer, an action that was not welcomed at the moment, so I moved my lower body away. I felt a tug at my ankles, pulling my legs back to where they were a moment ago. I struggled before accepting that there was no way I was going to win tonight.

“Is everything alright, Thaddeus?”

I looked up, looking her in the eye.

Fuck me sideways with a big black cock, what the fuck do I tell her now? Do I tell her I have a raging boner that’s about 2 inches away from her stomach, or do I tell her that everything is fine? Fuck it, a white lie won’t kill me… hopefully.

“Everything’s fine, Cel.”

“Okay, good.” She leaned forward, planting a 2 second kiss on my lips.

Is every rational thought gone? Good. New priority: Kiss her. Priority: Important.

I moved my hands from Celestia’s back to her head, pulling her face towards me before kissing her heartily. Somewhere along the crazy train ride, I forgot that Apollo 18 was on the launch pad. Celestia broke away from the kiss.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Me? I’m hoping that I’m staying right here, with you.”

“If that finger goes any lower, you’re going to be sleeping on that couch.” She nodded towards the couch in front of the fireplace, which at some point was set ablaze.

“Both my hands are up here… Oh.” My face went a whole other shade of red as I realized what she was referring to, and I hoped to god that she didn’t know.

“Then what’s poking me?” She said as she flipped the blankets back, revealing what I’d been trying so hard to keep a secret. Except, it was bigger than I had remembered. Quite a bit bigger. Like, a couple inches. Nevertheless, I scrambled to cover myself with what I had available, which was not a whole lot, except my hands.

“Now now, there’ll be none of that.” Celestia quipped, holding my hands with her magic.

“I’m really REALLY sorry, Cel. I didn--” I was cut off as she pressed a hoof to my lip.

She looked down, and looked back at me,“There’s no need to worry, it was an honest mistake. However, I am not going to be dealing with that, and neither will you in here. So suck it up-- Her face adopts a sultry look --Now where were we?” She leaned back in, pressing her lips against mine. I returned the kiss heartily, moving my hand to pull the covers back. Celestia rolls over, now on top of me.

We broke apart, panting. I looked Cel in the eye, “So, we’re a thing now?”

“Yeah, I guess we are.” She says as she plants a quick kiss before rolling off of me to her side of the bed, “We should probably get some sleep, I have court in the morning, and you are coming with me.” I wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer.

“Goodnight, Cel.”

“Goodnight, Thaddeus.”

I groaned as I lifted myself from the floor, looking around I realized that I was in my old room, which meant that I was dreaming. I pushed up and jumped to my feet, thankful that I had clothes on. I wandered out of my old room towards the stairs, stopping at the top.

“I could probably frontflip down these, I’ve thought about doing it since I was six, and I can do it now… Why not?” I would come to regret those words. I backed up to the door in front of the stairs, and ran towards the stairs, and as soon as I jumped, only one thought was thought.

Was the ceiling always that low?

I bounced my head off the ceiling, immediate pain ringing through. And then I hit the stairs, and my legs crumpled allowing me to roll down the stairs, hitting every body part on something.

I thought this wasn’t going to hurt… I have never been so wrong in my life.

I finally reached the bottom of the stairs, after what felt like a minute of constant hurt. I looked back at the stairs, finding them to be five times longer than they usually were. I groaned in pain, putting my face down on the tiles. That’s when Luna came in.

“Thaddeus? Where are you? Thad--” She stopped as she kicked me in the ribs, looking down to find me groaning on the floor.

“Help… me…”

No, instead of helping me, she decided I was a ragdoll and picked me up, my limbs flopping all over the place from the inertia of suddenly being forced upwards. Luna placed me on my feet, and cast some spell, presumably the reason why all the pain was gone. I staggered for a moment, before leaning on the counter.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” I questioned, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

“Well, actually there is three separate things, we will start with the one from earlier. We-- I wish to apologize for forcing you into something you were uncomfortable with.” I closed my eyes, trying to remember what exactly she was referring to.

“Oh, that? No hard feelings, t’was mighty comfortable, although I didn’t appreciate being locked in.”

“Yes, my apologies.”

“What was the second thing?” I questioned, drumming my fingers on the counter.

“Ah, yes, the second matter was the incident in the hallway.” She countered, glaring at me.

“Oh my god, that. I’m so sorry, it wasn’t on purpose!” I nearly yelled.

“In your words, no hard feelings, I just wanted an apology. Although, I can think of a couple ways to punish you for it.”

Oh god. Let’s hope it’s not a slave job.

“Ah, uh, okay. The third thing?”

“The third, yes. What were you up to before you slept?”

“What? What does that matter?”

“Well, Celestia is my sister, and I care for her very much, and if you do anything to hurt her, and I do mean anything-- She started stomping towards me --it matters not how far, or how fast you run, I will find you, and you will be hurt more than my sister. Understood?” I had backed myself into the corner of the counter, I swallowed.

“Yes, Princess, 100% crystal clear.”

She backed away and smiled, “Glad to hear it. Now, I believe you have court in about an hour. Wake.” and everything faded to black

My eyes shot open, only to be met with the peaceful face of my new girlfriend, or whatever the pony equivalent is. I pulled her closer, kissing her. She moans a bit before her eyes flutter open, her beautiful purple eyes.

"Good morning, Cel."

“Good morning to you, Hun.”

I quickly kissed her before moving to get up, only to fail as Celestia pulled me back down.

“Where do you think you’re going?” She questions, still holding me with her magic.

“I was going to go shower and get my clothes, why?”

“Well, I was thinking, why don’t we save time and shower together?”

“I-uh-I, sure I guess that would be efficient.” I stammered out “seems like we’re moving a bit fast though…”

“What was that?” Celestia inquired.

“N-nothing, just thinking.”

“Okay, come on then. Let’s get to it.” Celestia says, rolling over and off the bed, sashaying to the bathroom before turning her head and winking.

“You tease.” I grumbled as I walked off to the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I released the door knob, turning to look at Cel.

“I heard that.”

“Heard what?”

“You tease. That is what you said, is it not?” She smirked, knowing she had won.

“Fine, you got me. But it’s true.”

“Oh, I know. Maybe you’ll be paid-- Celestia winked --for all your troubles”

“Maybe. Anyway, time’s a wastin’. Get in the shower, Cel.”

She stepped in the shower, gesturing for me to for me to follow suit. I hopped in the shower, shivering as Celestia ran her tongue along my arm.

“What the what?”

It was her turn to be flustered, “I-uh-I um--”

“Nevermind, Cel, let’s just get a move on, yeah?” I said as I turned on the shower.

“Good idea.”

I turned the shower onto cold, scheming for a little fun. The shower sprung to life, spraying cold water all over me, I chuckled.

Good thing I’m Canadian.

I reached up for the shower head, lifting it out of it holder thing before spinning around on my heels and spraying Cel with a nice cold blast of water. I cackled manically.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

Celestia yanked the shower head out of my grasp, reversing it. I continued to laugh, confusing Celesia, before I felt the water get alarmingly hot.

“Sorry, I prefer my dishes, revenge or not, hot.” I was no longer laughing, instead I was trying to not show the pain, which was becoming increasingly hard as the water got hotter.

“I YIELD.” I yelped, sighing in relief as the shower became a normal heat.

“I’m sorry, Cel. I couldn’t help it.” I kissed her “Let’s have a normal shower now, shall we?”

“That sounds lovely.” She kissed me again.

The shower was already at a nice temperature, so Celestia just switched it to the holes in the ceiling, instead of the shower head. It provided a constant “rain” across the area of the shower, so it was particularly useful for our current situation.

I reached for the shower gel, same name as on Earth. Fun fact. and squeezed some into my palm before walking over to Celestia, running my hand along her back before lathering the shower gel on her back, working my way down to her thighs, before placing a slap on her sun, making her jump. I leaned down, placing a kiss where I had just slapped. I moved my hand to the other side rubbing the sun, before moving forward, around her thigh and onto the inner thigh. I heard a gasp and then a moan over the pitter patter of the shower, I smirked before continuing with the task, humming a tune as I moved my hand along her stomach, working my way towards her neck, before stopping and going back the way I had been coming from going up the other inner thigh, before crossing back over, hitting my mark. Her womanhood, or marehood or whatever the fuck. I heard the gasp and moan.

“Enjoying yourself, are you?” I quipped, smirking as I brushed my hand back over it.

“M-maybe I am. What’s it to you?” She retorted, moaning again.

“Just making sure my beautiful sun is enjoying herself.” I bent down and kissed her suns, before cleaning the rest of her backside, continuing on after acquiring more shower gel.

Then it was her turn to clean me, and let me tell you. It’s awkward, just standing there getting cleaned. However, that’s not to say it wasn’t enjoyable. She started with my chest and back, before moving down to my midriff and genital area. My main vein was pumping at one hundred and ten percent, I gasped as she ran her tongue along the underside of my Shvantz, looking up at me with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. She winked at me and continued cleaning, occasionally kissing the tip, or running her tongue along it. She took the whole head in her mouth, before popping it back out.

“April fools.” She winked.

“Really?” I went to check my watch, but it was sitting on the counter next to the sink.

“Mhm.”

“Shit.”

We both agreed that we were clean, and hopped out of the shower, grabbing towels to dry up.

“We’ll continue this later.” Cel said, winking. She’d been doing that a lot.

“I’d certainly hope so, otherwise I might be a tad upset.”

“You did the same thing!”

“Fair enough. We’re still not equal, you tease.”

“How do you think I felt last night?” That stopped me for a moment.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, well at any rate, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, as far as I can tell, you have no control over it. Anyway, enough of that, let’s get ready for today.”

“Yeah, let’s. I don’t think any time was saved with that shower.”

“But it was better than showering alone, was it not?”

I nodded my head vigorously “Oh my, yes.”

“Good.”

Celestia opened the bathroom door, letting out a cloud of steam, before walking out with me follow behind, closing the door as I walked over to the one other door, where my clothes awaited me. I found them in the dryer, still warm. I put them on with a satisfactory chuckle.

I turned around and walked back out, wandering over to Celestia, placing a kiss on her lips before walking out the door.

Author's Note

For anyone interested in Thaddeus' abilities, have at it.
Blog post