The Meaning of Life, Among Other Things

Fillian McMillan. A ridiculous name that rhymed way too much. Certainly not the kind of name you'd see on TV, or in an academic journal. Despite this, Fillian was not only the highest-rated newsmare in the galaxy, she was also one of it's top astrophysicists. Not that it mattered on this planet, where they've just recently discovered the lightbulb, and believe that the sun revolves around them by magic. She had to give them props though, few planets ever get this far with their magic. Most places just discover it, play around turning lead into gold for about a century, have a dark war, and then do away with it around the same time that they invent toilet paper. Fillian would have to come back and do a report on this place, once she had got what she came here for.

As she trotted along through the quiet streets of Ponyville, quite literally searching for the meaning of life, Fillian contemplated to herself how it was that magic survived so long here. It seemed to be incredibly strong in this place, indeed she had passed a few unicorns doing some amazing things, like lifting objects, growing flowers, and projecting music, all by magic. She glanced up at her own horn, which was just for show. Most horns were just for show out in space, the only ponies that you ever really heard of doing magic were alicorns. In a planet where every horn could cast spells, Fillian wondered if the sun did revolve around them. Maybe the ponies here are strong enough to move heavenly bodies. Then again, whether or not they could didn't matter. Moving stars was illegal.

Maybe she should just ask one of the ponies here about magic. Of course, she came here to find the Ultimate Question, but that could wait for a few moments. Just a few, while she asked some questions of her own. The only problem was which pony to ask. There were so many unicorns sitting around, all doing such magnificent things. One was levitating her belongings, one was levitating somepony else's belongings, and one was even flying! Oh wait... that's a pegasus pushing a cloud... which shouldn't be happening. How is that even possible? That pegasus should be going right through that cloud and be feeling rather dumb for trying to touch it. Instead, the she wasn't going through the cloud, and was probably feeling pretty happy with herself, and that was not ok.

Forgetting the unicorns, Fillian decided to follow this blue pegasus who decided not to play by nature's rules. Everypony else had to play by nature's stupid rules, and this mare would be no exception.

Fillian followed the pegasus all the way to her destination, an apple farm. When she arrived, Fillian saw the pegasus jumping up and down on the cloud, forcing it to rain, and effectively shattering all the laws of the universe. There was an orange earth pony standing under the trees, presumably the farm owner.

When Fillian got within hearing distance, she heard the earth pony say, "Thanks, Rainbow Dash. I can use all the water I can get." Rainbow Dash? That's... that's great. A planet where names are composed of nouns and verbs. Fillian laughed to herself as she wondered what new development she'd encounter next. This planet certainly was fitting of holding the Ultimate Question, and in a place like this, she wouldn't be surprised if the question was complete gibberish.

"Excuse me! What do you think you're doing on that cloud?", Fillian shouted when she was close enough. The rainbow-maned pegasus jumped when she heard somepony shouting from below. "What do you mean? I'm just making it rain.", she replied. "I know you're making it rain, I can see that, but what makes you think you have the right to make it rain? And how?"

"Umm...", Rainbow Dash stood dumbfounded, in confusion of the unsolicited hostility from this random mare. She finally managed to speak. "Umm.. do I know you?"

"No", replied Fillian, "I don't believe you do. I am intergalactic news reporter and astrophysicist Fillian McMillan, and I want to know how you managed to touch that cloud."

"What, this cloud?", Rainbow said, gesturing to the one under her feet. "You want to know how I touched it? All I did was put my hooves out and set them down and there's nothing more to it."

Fillian did not believe her. "No, but clouds are gasses, and you made it behave like a solid, and when you jumped on it, it turned into a liquid. Can everypony on the planet do that?"

Rainbow and her farmer friend burst out laughing. "Everypony on this planet", Rainbow laughed. "Does that mean you're from somewhere else?"

The farm mare recovered from her laughing long enough to put in, "I would say that's silly, a pony coming from another planet, but it's obvious she doesn't know that only winged ponies can touch clouds. And since it is silly that a pony could come from another planet, I'm gonna assume you don't get out much, huh, Miss Fillian."

"As a matter of fact, I am from another planet, that's what the word 'intergalactic' is for. Also, I didn't know that only winged ponies could touch clouds, because where I come from, no pony can touch clouds."

Rainbow Dash was surprised. "No pony can touch clouds! But if no pony can touch clouds, how do you control the weather? Are you telling me that you just let it float around and do whatever it wants, bringing with it mayhem and destruction and disharmony?"

"Are you telling me that pegasi here control the weather?" Magic was fine, moving clouds was absurd, but bending an entire planet's meteorological patterns to suit one's needs was almost blasphemous. Then again, maybe it wasn't. Fillian still hadn't found the meaning of life, like she had been intending to. Anyway. "So you just pick up clouds and move them wherever you want and force them to rain whenever you want? That's a massive god complex you got there."

This seemed to ignite some anger in the farmpony. "Listen here, I don't care who you are! Number One: Pegasi don't "pick up" clouds, the manufacture them. Number Two: While trying not to contradict my earlier statement, I would like to put in that we don't have god complexes. We just use magic to make our lives easier and spread harmony across the land."

"Aha! You spread your ideology! That sounds pretty complex-y to me!"

"What! No! Harmony is not an ideology or a religion or anything like that. I'm was just saying that we use magic to do nice things for each other make the world a peaceful place."

"Well, it's a little more than that", Rainbow said, "I mean, we do, or up until recently did have the Elements of Harmony, literal embodiments of magic that we used to dispel evil."

Literal embodiments of magic to dispel evil. It seemed Fillian was in the right place. "So, tell me", she said, "You have magical elements on this planet? Is that why your pegasi can touch clouds and your unicorns can, for lack of a better phrase, actually do things with their horns." Of course, Fillian knew unicorns could use their horns for more than just magic, she was once mugged by a gang of unicorns behind a deli.

"As it turns out", Rainbow replied, "My friends and I found out we are the embodiments of what are called the Elements of Harmony. It's all very complicated stuff that my friend Twilight could explain better, but basically, when we band together we can solve just about any of life's problems."

Interesting, it seems this detour wasn't a detour. "That's very intriguing, Rainbow Dash. As it happens, I came to this planet to find the answer (question actually) to all of life's problems. How about you get your friends, and I'll get my friends, and we can meet at the center of town in an hour."

And so, our heroes have met some completely random strangers, and are going to meet them in the center of town to talk about the magic of friendship, and all associated things thereof. In an hour. Fillian didn't know why she said meet them in an hour, because she had no means of contacting her comrades to let them know she had a lead. It could take far longer than an hour for them to arrive. Then again, it could be far shorter. Actually, do they even have clocks on this planet, because if not, that might be a problem.