Insanity is a Mere Advantage

Insanity is a Mere Advantage
By Awesomedude17

"Sister, may I speak with you for a moment?"

Celestia turned to her sister, and motioned to speak. Luna nodded and began to speak.

"Sister, I do not believe we should even let him go freely in the castle itself, let alone Equestria."

"You're overreacting."

"I am not! This Trevor threatened violence against everypony he has met so far..."

"And has he made good on his threats?"

Luna tried to retort, but found herself speechless.

"Exactly. Unless he harms one of our fellow subjects, he shall be free to move around as he pleases."

"This is a terrible idea, Tia, and I know, deep down, that you know it too."

Celestia found her face to be conflicted. Deep down, she knew that this Trevor Phillips would be dangerous, but she couldn't just treat him like a mindless creature.

"He will be free to go about his business, in the meantime, we shall examine the objects that had recently appeared out of nowhere." Celestia and Luna soon found themselves looking at a mysterious carriage and various objects within the open trunk of it.

I did not know how long I slept, all I knew was that there was a distinct smell... of food. My stomach rumbled, and it was apparent that I hadn't eaten in a long time, which might be a bit of an understatement.

I got up and walked towards the smell, to see a mess hall, filled with dinnerstuffs. Mostly salads and vegetarian meals.

I was a meat-lover, but in this situation, I'd rather eat a salad then deal with starving, so I took the most appetizing salad I saw and grabbed some with my hand.

"Mr. Phillips, please don't..."

"Don't care, hungry." I groaned out angrily. I sat down and began to chow down, not caring about how I looked doing it.

"So, Trevor..." I heard Celestia speak.

"What?"

"Tell me, what did you do back at home."

Deciding to keep my cover, I grinned and turned towards Sunbutt.

"Well, I am the CEO and personal runner of Trevor Phillips Industries, INC."

"A company named after yourself? I never would've guessed." Celestia said with a hint of feigned surprise.

"Yep. In Blaine County, I run the dope and gun trade, and if the competition wants to screw with me..." I made a finger gun firing motion, just to set a tone for what business Trevor really meant.

I could tell that those ponies were afraid of me. I'd be too.

"Alright... So... How about we talk about the conditions to let you go on your own way."

I perked up. "I'm listening."

"So, from what we've learned about you, you seem..."

"Violent? Because Let's be honest, would you trust a face like mine?" I said, showing off my meth-scarred, bad-breathed, and generally disgusting face.

"... Not really."

"Which is why I do not expect to get off scot-free."

"You were never charged with a crime to begin with, we have no basis to do that!"

I suddenly stood up, and knocked over my meal.

"Damn right, you fucking don't, and no one can, because I am Trevor Phillips, and no fucking asshole is getting between me and the money that I rightfully deserve! Do you understand?" I said, poking Celestia on her chest, or whatever it was called here.

"...I-"

"You know what, fuck you! I'm getting out of here, and no cunt is fucking telling me what to fucking do!" I pushed Celestia to the side and angrily walked towards the exit, but was stopped by the guards.

"Halt, you shall not pass for what you-"

The Trevor inside of me decided that this was pointless, and I headbutted him. More guards came.

"You are under arrest for unprovoked assault!"

I blew air, and chuckled.

"Oh, really? Fine then, come at me bro."

The guards stood still.

"COME RIGHT FUCKING AT ME!"

"ENOUGH!!! Trevor, meet me in my room, in private. Guards, lead him there!"

I knew that if she wanted me alone, then she wanted to say something serious to me.

Considering what I just said...

Celestia trotted to her own room, annoyed at Trevor's attitude.

Hateful, rude, anti-authority... He's one of a kind, one that might be a threat if mishandled. I must proceed with caution, see if I can find a way to help him. Mother help me.

She went into her own room, and a few minutes later, the man came in, scowling.

"Trevor, I wanted to know a few things before I let you go."

"What?" Trevor replied as if he was more annoyed at Celestia than disappointed with himself.

"I need to know, how did you come here?"

"I... I remember being blown up back in Los Santos... Tanker blew up and I went flying. Guess I was lucky to come here... if I died... that..." Trevor looked thoughtful for a moment. "...Would suck." The tone Trevor finished that sentence implied that it was a threat to Celestia. She heard these a million times over. She knew she had to push the right buttons, avoid the rest, and tread carefully.

"Mr. Phillips, I am sorry for you..."

"Oh, keep your pity to yourself, Sunass."

Celestia raise her eyebrows, but kept a calm exterior.

"...But regardless, I'll look into helping you back home to Los Santos."

"You better, because I don't have much time." Trevor was now face to face with the princess. The reddened eyes pierced into Celestia's own soul, it's as if he was judging her for whatever reason he might have.

Celestia sighed.

"You may leave, take your truck with you. If I heard that you hurt any one of my subjects, even on accident, I will not hesitate to track you down. Understand?"

Trevor looked confused.

"Wait, you're letting me do whatever?"

"No crimes, Trevor, you are being left to your own devices. Do not push me." Celestia warned sternly.

Trevor looked at her...

And then laughed the most grating laugh she had ever heard.

"You know what, I think you might be one of the more relaxed authority figures I ever met. Even the LSPD went that relaxed. They are usually like 'Dammit Trevor, not again. Are you trying to be an asshole at every possible moment?' and I'm like, 'Said the guys who put me in the hospital about, oh, I dunno, 13 fucking times, ya cunts.' and then I'd leave... I'll be seeing ya, fucktard." Trevor kicked open the doors and left, leaving a confused Celestia.

"What."

To be honest, I was surprised at how she just let me go...

But the fact that she left me to be Trevor himself, alone...

What a fucking moron.

The hell... Ugh, I'm thinking things now.