The Dangers of Stupidity

Chapter XV: The Beginning

I was lucky. Today I didnt have a hangover, and I was in my own house. I looked at the clock, seeing that it was already 5:30 in the afternoon. It was Saturday, Twilight didnt need me today, and I had no idea what to do, so I decided to do what I always did when I had nothing else on my plate. I sat up in my bed, standing up and walking downstairs only to sit back down on the sofa.

"Haven`t played this baby in a while. Well, what better time than now?"

I levitated the God of War III disk into my PlayStation, and the controller into my hands. I was getting quite adept with the whole "levitation" thing and it was definitely beginning to show. A knock sounded at the door. Assuming it was Twilight, I turned the system off before going to the door. I felt absolutely horrible when she saw me playing Silent Hill, and it was tame compared to God of War.

"Hey Twi. What`s up?" I felt a genuine sense of curiosity, and my voice did nothing to hide it.

"I`ve got something amazing to tell you. Can you get everypony together for me?"

"Sure thing."

I ran upstairs, gathering my friends along the way, and came back.

"So, what do you need?" Benson asked, sitting in a black wooden chair.

"Well," Twilight began as we braced ourselves for another lecture. "Ive figured out how I can give you all a second set of powers. Two problems: the spell is *highly* experimental, so I have no idea whats going to happen if it fails, and I can only cast it on two of you. So, who`s brave enough to try it?"

Benson and I stood up, ready for anything. We readied the sources of our new abilities, mine a copy of God of War III, and his a copy of Destiny.

"Alright you guys, stand still for a second."

Twilight crouched down as her horn began to glow with the shine of a miniature sun. A moment later, we were still standing, but looked slightly different. My skin had retained its light brown color, but I now had a blood red tattoo running across my body. A pair of wickedly spiked, yellow glowing blades hung magically at my back. A chain attached to each blade wrapped around my wrists, but not bound to them like the Blades of Chaos. I felt an indescribable power running through my veins.

The power of the gods. Whoa. Trippy!

I looked once again to the swords on my back, moving to a lightning bolt shaped scar on my right palm, then to a sea blue wave scrawled on the back of my left hand.

The Blades of Exile. Zeus` Thunder. The Rage of Poseidon.

"Awwwww... YEAH! I`m black Kratos, bitches!" I exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air.

Benson`s outfit was changed to one I was very unfamiliar with, but remembered him talking about. The clothes of a Warlock. I could feel his body radiating magical energy, and the guns he carried were no different. Slung over his back was a chrome plated sniper rifle. Holstered to his thighs were a pair of blood red pistols with a strange symbol emblazoned on the sides of the barrels. They looked almost like...

Triforces?

"Hey Benson, what are those symbols on your pistols? They look kind of like Triforces."

"They`re just random designs."

Twilight turned back to us, her expression turning grim.

"Sadly, theres some bad news. I did as much research as possible, and I found out who sent you here, but Ive never heard of him. Maybe you might have. Do you know the name..." She levitated a piece of paper from her saddlebag, unfolding it. "Sephiroth?"

"DAFUQ!?" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

Erika, Benson, and I all gasped at the name, but everyone else was completely in the dark. I turned around to inform them on just what kind of threat we were dealing with.

"Have any of you guys played Final Fantasy VII? Well, Sephiroth was the games antagonist, and you have no idea just how dangerous he is. He obliterated an entire village with a swing of his sword, and at one point, he nearly became a *god*. We need to stop him before he destroys this world like he nearly did to his. Now, whos with me?"

"Sorry," Max commented. "I really don`t want to die today."

"Same here." Taylor added.

"Fuck Sephiroth, I`m Spiderman." Chris spouted randomly.

"You can take him yourself, right?" Erika asked doubtfully.

The only people in the room who stood by me were Benson and Twilight.

"Nobody else? Really? Fine! Looks like we`re taking Sephiroth on alone." I declared, pounding a fist against my palm to emphasize the word alone.

"Actually, we still have the Elements and the Princesses." Twilight reminded us. I had completely forgotten about them.

"Youre right. Theyll be invaluable to this mission. Well, if the rest of you are going to be a bunch of pussies, then, to paraphrase Eric Cartman, screw you guys, I`m gonna kill Sephiroth."

The three of us left the house, stopping a few yards from the door.

"Alright, you two head to the train station, and I`ll gather the Elements. Then, we can all head to Canterlot and find out just where this Sephiroth is." Twilight informed us as she trotted away towards Sugarcube Corner. I turned back to Benson, a ponderous look spreading across my features.

"So Benson, looks like its me, you, the Elements of Harmony and the Princesses of Equestria versus Sephiroth. You do realize that theres almost no chance of us winning this battle."

"I know, but at least we can say that we died fighting instead of hiding. I, for one, dont intend to die, but its still a possibility. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. Well, isnt this grand. Two best friends, taking a stand against an enemy whos probably going to kill them, but still doing it for the greater good. God, this is corny. We should go now."

"Probably."

The two of us made it to the train station in just a few minutes. Alongside our new powers came improvements to our other abilities, and it was no small boost. Twilight and the rest of the girls came running down towards us, carrying our tickets in her magic. I noticed that there were eight of us, but she only had five tickets.

"Hey, you do know that there`s eight of us, right?" I asked her, clearly being sarcastic.

"Yeah. Funny story. I... couldn`t exactly buy more than five tickets under one name. Then again, we have two pegasi, and you can fly, so..."

Really? Equestria is on the brink of an apocalypse, and yet they still have limits on how many tickets Princess grandmotherfucking Celestia`s personal student can buy? Bunch of douchebags!

"I see where youre going. Well see you guys at the Canterlot station. Yo, Dash, `Shy, you coming?"

The two of them trotted over towards me, standing on either of my sides.

"So, how fast can you fly?" Rainbow Dash asked me, obviously being sarcastic.

"That depends. You know a mare named Lightningstreak?"

"Yeah. She`s pretty light on her feathers." She replied.

"I could fly fast enough to beat her in a race. That enough for you?"

"Seems legit."

I charged my Static Thrusters and noticed that they had been changed exponentially. Instead of creating streams of lightning that pushed me through the air, they had been changed to streams of white-hot fire that crackled with electricity. Before I took off, I decided to change their name from Static Thrusters to something much more similar to something you would see in a God of War game: The Jets of Helios.

The three of us took off towards Canterlot, my Jets of Helios giving me triple the speed in half the time.