Lamention of a Bodiless Soul

Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings

- always darker, emptier, and simpler.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Ok so I think I know what went wrong with the original chapter one So this is me correcting it.

Story Start

I remember walking.

The bustling St.Petersburg streets slowing down for the day. At least for this part of town. The sidewalks that were barely traveled throughout the day now completely barren except for myself and so few others. Dealers behind a corner store procure and promote their wares. One seeing me nodded me over. I didn't give a second look.

Things in my life are simple. That's complicated enough. I'm the youngest male in my family with three older sisters. Their my mothers' side pride and joy.  My eldest sister AJ (her name is actually really annoying to spell and pronounce so yeah...) Just got out of the Navy going back to school. The second TC college for art and performing arts. And the last Ray Martine current Navy. None of them have ever done anything (jail worthy) in their life.

Me? Didn't graduate highschool on my first try( missed it by a credit)I've been caught for petty theft, and I can't even join the military due to hypertension!

Oh poor you.

Truly unfornate.

I know people have gone through worse and my whining is meaningless, but when everything is ruined for the smallest minute detail well...shit.

Your fault.

My mother keeps telling me that I'm smarter than my sisters and will be greater than them. How can I be greater if I keep doing stupid shit! I swear, I must have been dropped on my head as a child....actually yes I was, and was crushed by a book cause, and had a headless Barbie pierced my forehead( No seriously, TC threw it. No, go ahead laugh everyone does). So something is damaged.

Looking at the stars and Moon I always wonder will it cease to amaze me like so many other things. My toys, my art, my books, TV, my friends.

I stop. Looking at my shadow, I bend down brushing the concrete it was casted on.

I wish I was like this shadow, simpler, undifined, controlled. Getting back up I walk on heading to a busier street. Cars zoom past me speeding to only they know, or don't know. Family, a club maybe, the store, all of them trailed by a shadow. The them they don't care about.

My mom kicked me out that's why I'm walking. Just walking no destination. I'm going to move till I stop.

You mean attempt to make kill yourself, smart. okay explanation. These stray words, thoughts are Me and Myself. Me represents my control of urges and proper thought. Myself, representing greed, hate, basically beastly urges or curiosity. Myself has won out more than a few times. Me doesn't really speak much for that reason. Their shadows I created so I could space out my thinking or vote on a course of action. My mother said I always need to consider my actions,  so we do. Me, Myself and I. I'm not insane, only confused.

Not to ruin the psych trip but you may consider-

Your being followed stupid.

A shadow arrives to my left wearing a hoodie like me. Who ever it is, they weren't walking past or turning. Adjusting my string backpack I tested the shadow that followed me. Shifting over to the right...the shadow shortened. The left...it grew. Yep I'm being followed. What to do? I wasn't given the chance to think, the shadow and by extension the person, sprinted forward ripping off my backpack, sending me tumbling to the ground.

"HEY!!!" I yelled. He still ran. No shit. Getting up I ran after the thief(isn't that the pot calling the kettle black). I wasn't mad like I should be, just annoyed I wanted my stuff. Most definitely my tablet. And my wallet, yeah changing priority. Wallet first, then tablet...

Or both. Myself advises. Or both. Both was good.

And your sketchbook. Me reminded. Trying to run faster I watched to guy take a left into a street with no outlet. Darkness. Me warned.

My favorite. Myself declared. Almost slipping on some leaves, I banked into the dead end watching the figure stop in front of a fence. About to climb over, my bag in his left hand.

"Stop!" I demand.

Halt! Affirmed Me.

Break his neck! Pleaded Myself. The figure turned around I still couldn't see his face. To dark.

"Give me my stuff and I'll let you go." I bargained. I only wanted my stuff, I actually worked hard for it. The hooded thief tossed me my back then  started to walk pass me. Now before any body says anything. No this will not be a story where I just know kung fu or some shit. Beside I did Tae Kwon Do, but never got past green. Shit the second time I stopped on orange. What I do know is how to make impact hurt. Letting him walk past I did a full turn, putting the back of his head in my palm. Which at the time I hadn't was a good idea when a knife came from his pocket grazing my cheek.I pushed forward making an arching motion. By the time he started screaming I heard a satisfying CRACK instead. I stepped away to see if he was getting up. His back rose and fell but he did not move more than that. Wiping at my cheek I got a good amount of blood, then licked it. Salty.

A bit much? Me Pointed out sarcastically.

Now curb stomp!! Myself begged. Smash! Smash! Smash! SMASH!!! Myself encouraged. Checking my bag over, I noticed the knots only popped out of the holes. Over...under...through...and down. Knotting the strings in the holes was a quick fix but I need a new bag.

"What seems to be the problem here?" A firm voiced questioned.

Really?! questioned Me angrily.

Hhhnnnn!?!?!?! Choked Myself. My heart was pounding miles a minute, but physically I didn't jump. I did not dare move. Before me was police Caucasian male, light beard, sorta brown, wasn't able to make out other details due to the flashing blue/red lights flashing in my damn eyes!!

Make it stop! Implored Me.

This. Life. SUCKS!! God I want a new one! This ones racist! Myself Raged.

"That guy- I pointed to the unconscious form "-stole my bag so I chased him down, Sir." I explained. my mother was ex military, I was raised on yes and no ma'am, yes sir, no sir.

Manners. Praised Me.

Suck up!! mocked Myself. Do it again!! Myself urged.

"Why is he on the ground?" The Officer asked. He began moving closer.

Crap. Me moaned.

Oops. Myself apologized.

"When I caught up to him I grabbed him spinning the guy around. He pulled a knife on me, so I tossed him to the ground hard and.... I was about to call some one." I promised.

No you weren't. Myself sang.

Details. Approved Me. The Officer turned the thief over. I couldn't tell what he was, there was so much blood. I mentally smirked.

Calm. Me advised. Lifting the walkie to his mouth the law man spoke a few words asking for an ambulance to come. He got up and looked me over. " I'm going to write a statement about what you said now get out of here." He order.

"yes sir, thank you." Putting my bag on I walked back to the opening of the street once again passing the no outlet sign.

Wow- Myself wondered. That was kinda lucky wasn't supposed to-

"Halt!!" a voice rang. I ran only turning onto the next street no point making it a an overly complicated escape. Now I ran not out of fear, but the idea of getting embarrassed. The thought of my mother and sisters seeing me in court. Being sent to jail. Nope. I couldn't even think about it without panicking. THUD!! OW!! I ran into a house at the end stumbling to the side I ran into the backyard. In the back was a gray, cobblestone well. Big enough for me to hide in. Turning around I stepped inside. Pressing my toes wide against the inner wall, I clawed my fingers onto the rim. And there I sat. A faded light passed over the well, suggesting that some was there but not too close to actually check. I let my body sink further into the shadows. I only wanted to disappear.

Now all we need to do is-

Assassin bitchs!!

'Quiet!' I demand of Me and Myself. A tingly feeling went over my right hand. It was moving slowly. Tapping a finger before moving across doing the same thing to the next one. Lifting my ring and middle, I started hyperventilating. A Roach. A gross, brownish, juicy looking Roach. Freaking out I retracted my hand trying to shake it off. Flying off I relaxed all of three Seconds. Then the demon beast of trash landed on my left forearm crawling almost mockingly closer to my face. Blowing hard puffs of air trying to force it away this was beyond what I'm willing to deal with.

Pleaseohpleaseoh get it off, get it off, get it off!!!! Note I hate Roaches, and that hate translates to an unnatural fear. How unorthodox and unnatural is it? Think Fluttershy and her the whole fear of dragons...now double it... Some thirty thousand times. Yeah that bad. So this was tame compared to the usual reaction. Gripping harder with my right I took my left, rag dolling it till I was sure it was gone. Scrubbing my arm on the well wall im pretty sure I did it till it was raw. I didn't care I wanted to be clean. Me and Myself took deep breathes I did too, no time to lose my nerve I'm almost free. Reaching my hand back to the rim I became reward with a loud juicy Crunch.  Frozen I hung there tears welling in my eyes. So gross, nasty, eww. Only this makes me question my masculinity.

Its so gross! myself argued.

you know exactly why. Me shudder. I knew why I just didn't like to remember. My eyes caught movement. Another one flying around my head. With out thinking I swatted my left hand around trying to not hit it but shoo it away touching another one was the last thing I wanted to do.

..till it landed on my face. Freaking out now i tossed my hand into my socket, spreading roach guts into my eye. Now losing it I threw both hands to my face, forfeiting my grip and sending me into the depths of the well. The Roach flew out mockingly.

Fuck. Myself said.

Fuck. Me agreed. Hitting the bottom I started spazing out like a demented lunatic, buckling, and throwing my body around In kamikaze fashion.

So gross it burns, it burns, kill me, kill me!!

THWACK was the sound my head made against the wall. Dazed I looked to the sky. I must have lost it cause I thought I was seeing the milky way now. 'Sleep' I told my body. 'Sleep' it agreed. Letting the shadows embrace like a blanket and the stars be my night light I closed my eyes and fell into unconsciousness.

I had a strange dream before coming to. I dreamt of a white space, blindingly so. About a yard away was a writhing black mass like shadows from smoke or seeing heat rise off the ground. I was strapped down, couldn't move a limb not that this dream let me. I watched a silver light, two inches big, shimmered above my palm. Splitting into five smaller lights, one for each finger. Heat radiated from each whil o the wisp.

Touching down, each light moved to the center slicing and cauterizing flesh. Cutting through the superior palmer arch, my hand went limp.working up the light cut into arteries, severing muscles,  yet only stung the nerves making muscles contract and tighten into the path of the light. Hitting my shoulder it split again floating tauntingly slow over to my other hand repeating the process. When the second one reached the shoulder they turned around each other dancing gleefully. Then like figure skaters building speed of each other tossed one another in opposite directions slicing me down the middle.

Flashing from existence the lights left me alone. Dissected and opened like some class project. Looking at the empty space I feel sadness, and rage. I lurched forward screaming, ripping off the sinews, muscles, nerves and skin that held me down. Bloody bones were all popping out escaping a destroyed flesh prison. Invisible hands grappled the skeleton that was me, cradled between two palms. With unseen motion the hands clapped shut, vaporizing my remnants.

My conscious floated around those invisible hands, existing yet not existing, dead yet not dead.

My worst fear

My worst nightmare

My worst thoughts

Our hell.

Those hands began taking me to the mass of shadow. Lowering me into the legion of darkness, I and my dust was dipped into darkness.

And swallowed by it.

My head was splitting, like having a bookcase fall on me...again. Gratefully though my body wasn't thrumming with pain of any kind. Must have past while I was out.

Wasn't long? Me questioned. Gazing into the night sky I saw the moon directly over me. It seemed weird some how. I couldn't really put finger on it.

Bigger? Me offered. It did seemed bigger and brighter even a bit...unreal.

Fingers!?! Shrieked Myself. What? Raising my arm up I attempted to inspect my Digits. Attempt cause this well was apparently dark as fuck and couldn't see three inches in front of my face. I commanded my index to twitch. Nothing not even a pull in my forearm.

Paralyzed? Me suggested gently.

DEAD! Myself poked gleefully. I couldn't be dead. I'd risen to a sitting position, so I wasn't dead and I had a horrible headache. Not dead I raved victoriously.

When did you move? Me interrogated. When had I moved? And where was my bag? I was jolted from my thoughts with a flash of lightning and crashing of thunder, followed by a scream. Someone else was out here. Well this was someone's backyard so yeah. Maybe the cop was gone by now.

Zero stars!!! Myself celebrated. I kinda was glad too. No court, no embarrassment, I was good. Taking that good feeling I worked the courage to call out.

"hello?" Echo's bounced from wall to wall increasing volume as it traveled out the top. I waited a few moments. Maybe they had already gone back inside?

"Hello, is any pony down there?" a shape was at the top covered in blues, whites, gold and purple. Who ever they were they were possible wearing a mask.

Anypony? Myself wretched.

If were quiet maybe they'll go away? pleaded Me. Let be known I wasn't a fan of "face to face" social interaction. And most definitely never talk to another brony before. And before I'm assaulted a friend I knew before she became a brony/pegasister/ whatever introduced me to it, so really didn't consider her as such. Anyways I wasn't going to let my personage rot in a hole where I've just be assaulted by a roach.

Please answer! Begged Me.

No more roaches Mama, no more roaches mama, no more roaches- Chanted Myself.

"Yes! I'm stuck in here! Can you help me?" I sounded as miserable as possible. Not that hard.

"Don't worry" an older voice called. "We'll have you out momentarily." it assured.

"Thank you!" this was really some good fortune. Then I fault weightless. Sky diving weightless, only reversed. I felt myself being pulled upwards and out. The fuck!?!?. As light started to hit me I took a glimpse at my skin it was blackened, inky, with no trace of my chocolate tone. I need medical assistant. Badly. Trailing to where my hand should be I only found a stump. More so a hoof. Checking the rest of me got the same issue. Black inky skin, no fingers or toes, and quadrupedal. My head ached.

Dream? Myself offered. That was best.

Coma? Me lamented. Not liking but still better.

"Um I appear to have a concuss-" my voice lodge in the back of my throat. Before me was one lavender colored unicorn dressed like an ancient old man with a wizards hat with bells in various places, her horn aglow. The other a midnight blue alicorn, a black blotch  with a crescent Moon on her flank.

"Pon-"

" Shadow pony!!!!" scream the unicorn. Her horn stopped glowing and I stopped floating falling back into the well. When I struck the bottom there was no pain just the rise of dust that proved I hit the dirt bottom. For some odd reason I heard a FWOOP sound like something getting vacuumed. I stared blankly at the sky watching my view begin eclipsing, a rock or something being pushed over it.

Concussion? I wonder. Hallucinating cause of the impact.

Dreaming? Proposed Me.

Wide awake. Lamented Myself.

When the hole was covered I felt darkness embrace me again. That was the most comfort I had for hours.

Fine fact shadows do exist in the dark. Their just undefined from Darkness, oozing around with its much stronger elder. That's how my hours were spent. No up, no down, no gravity, no form. I wasn't touching the bottom yet I wasn't exactly floating passed the rock above me either. Nothing  could distract the thoughts that ran, shuffled, danced and drill within this incorporeal body. Which was good for, I needed time to process the events I was in.

So I'm in Equestria? I asked Myself.

Ugh my head hurts. complained Myself. Twilight is no longer fav pony!

How are we here? Questioned me.

I'm hungry! Myself whined.

Seconded. But how do I eat? I could feel Me and Myself raise an eyebrow. That was kinda dumb but it had merit. I'm a shadow what can I eat?

Donuts? offered Me

Souls!!! giggled Myself. Quick let's find those guys who sold their souls to borrow stuff from us! a harsh knocking sounded on the rock above.

"Shadow Pony." It was Luna. " I and the bearers of Harmony-" shit, she brought out the big guns. "Have questions for you. Answer them truthfully and without malice and you may go free." Oh a glorified games of 20 questions, great. "Where have you arrived from?"

"Places unknown." I answered. Me and Myself were playing cards in the back of my head, they stopped caring. Relative to what I know I have no clue where Florida was to Equestria.

"Why are you here?"

"To live in a well obviously." I started throwing cards in with Me and Myself. My body or whatever I was on autopilot.

"Same question." She stated.

"Same answer." Body affirmed. Myself put down a King, me a five, I a Queen. Myself won.

"Do not toy with us!!" The well shook violently, but the swirling darkness did not care, so I didn't either. Myself flipped a two, Me a jack, I an ace. I won.

"Fine I don't know why I'm here." Body answered. Me, Myself, and I kept hands on our cards.

"Do you think you are slick? Do not think you can disrespect us and get away with it!" Whispers of "princess Luna were barely audible. Body chose a predetermined phrase. I, Myself, and me flipped cards. All six's.

The fuck!

Damnmit!

That ain't right!

"No mother I don't think I'm slick."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." I took body back over. This wasn't going well.

"Ah must a heard wrong, did it say mother?" Shit.

"My word that's positively dreadful!"

"Oh..my!"

"Ohohoh we need to have a late baby shower party, then all the missed birthday parties, and-"

"A son the princess has a son?"

"You don't have children do you princess Luna?"

"I don't." She spoke firmly. That's one problem solved. "I don't believe-?" What? Be certain you should know! " I'm not sure?" Me, myself, and I glared absently. This is why body gets punished. Stupid things when not focused. Dumb shit.

"Maybe y'all had him as Nightmare Moon?" Stop making scenarios!

" yes that would make since..." No it wouldn't.

"Well-" coaxed Twilight "why don't we ask him directly?" The rock above me vaporized, my form came back solid some where in the middle of the well. When the light completely filtered through my pony body of depraved light waves, whatever I was made up of plummeted straight down. Before I could raise another dust cloud, a blue aura surrounded held him rocketing him to the mouth of the well.

Your fucked.

Your fucked

Established.

But we're Fucked.