Breaking Bad

"This.... this is glass-grade..."

"Hell, you... you got crystals in here, two, three inches long. This is pure glass."

Rainbow looked incredulously at the olive stallion currently washing his hooves in the RV's sink, the running of the water being the mare's only answer as she struggled to regain her composure, the ventilated air conditioning of their abode beating the heat from the outside desert with ease.

Flinging his hooves, he reached for the rack of paper towels hanging above his head as the mare currently behind him ran a hoof through her prismatic mane in disbelief. Throwing the towel into the empty garbage bin by the sink, he readjusted his white apron with his now dry hooves, turning around and finding a cyan Pegasus with a container of white rocks staring in awe at him, her mouth wide open in pure astonishment and her gas mask lying forgotten on the floor.

Her lower lip shaking, she stammered, "You're a Faust-damned artist..."

Flam removed his gas mask, giving the mare a look of curiosity.

"This... this is art Flam-"

Raising a hoof, the Unicorn interrupted, "Mr. White."

"...'scuse me?"

Adjusting his apron again, he knitted his brows in determination, "You," he started, poking a hoof into his partner's chest, "will call me Mr. White."

"And why the hell would I do that, huh?"

"How many other ponies do you know named 'Flam'?"

The mare fell to her haunches in concentration, holding a hoof to her chin and muttering to herself. Two heartbeats later, the mare raised a hoof to speak suddenly, but was cut off by her partner.

"There are countless 'Whites' in Equestria. And since you'd have an easier time getting out of jail, being the Element of Loyalty, if someone catches you talking to 'Mr. White', they won't know exactly who it is."

Flattening her lips, Rainbow admitted, "I uh... I never really thought about that."

"Back to your accusation-"

"Oh yeah!" she shouted, a huge smile on her face, "these Rocks you made are pure art, Fla-"

"Mr. White."

"We're alone, not like anyone'll hear you."

"Yeah, well practice makes perfect."

Looking over at the mare, eyes as wide as dinner plates, he flailed a hoof above his head in annoyance, "Well, actually, it's just basic chemistry."

"Whaddyou know about chemistry, huh?"

Giving a snort of disbelief, Flam suppressed the feeling to laugh.

"Who do you think made the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000?"

Flam gave a sly grin at the mare's sudden tensing.

"And the Miracle Curative Tonic?"

Rainbow's eyes reflected a phase of sudden realization as Flam pointed to his flank.

"That's what this is for," he started, pointing to the almost whole red apple on his side, "I'm the manufacturer, my brother is the seller, or... was."

"I'm sorry, yo," Rainbow replied sincerely, rubbing a leg over the back of her head.

"Don't be."

The mare raised a brow in confusion.

"He was an asshole."

Rainbow placed a hoof over her mouth to stifle the grin etching onto her face, before she turned her attention to the Rocks currently hovering in Flam's magical aura.

"You dropped them," Flam spoke, noticing the mare's suddenly worried expression, "now, back to business," he resumed, levitating the Rocks to the mare's open hooves.

The quality of the drug reemerging in the mare's mind, she quickly ran to the sink, reaching for a cabinet and pulling out a pocket knife before returning, "I gotta try this-"

The bowl of Rocks suddenly hovered higher toward the ceiling, the mare previously reaching for it only grabbing open air.

"Hey, yo, what the hell-"

"No. No," Flam ordered, shaking a hoof in annoyance, "we only sell it. We don't use it."

"Yeah, and since when?"

"Since I saved your life. And that whatever I say," he commanded, "goes. Or else you get thrown in the slammer, and I get a couple of bits for turning in a Rock dealer."

Rainbow glared at the stallion, who proceeded to give her back a sly grin and an arched eyebrow. The standoff seemed to last hours, before the mare suddenly fell to her haunches, crossed her forelegs, and pouted her lip out in defeat, "I know just the guy to talk to."

"Well good, we'll have something to sell him tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

Flam knitted his brow, "We cook more tomorrow."

"...seriously?"

"Yes."

Rainbow licked her lips, looking around the RV with a sense of disbelief, before she gave a firm, "Alright."

Flam smiled, lighting his horn and magicking a plastic tub from underneath the sink, "Go start up the RV."

"Yeah yeah yeah," the mare replied, turning tail and heading toward the front of the vehicle, reaching with a hoof and sliding the front curtain away from the window, leaning over the dashboard and inserting the nearby key into the ignition. The RV sprang to life, the rumble of the engine being the one noise blocking the otherwise disruptive sound of five pounds of Rocks being dumped into a loud, plastic, hollow tub.

Placing the lid onto the container, Rainbow peered over at him from behind the drivers seat, an impatient look on her face. Levitating their equipment securely into the sink, Flam nodded, before almost falling to the floor as the mare sped off, her hind hoof slamming directly onto the gas pedal and speeding them out of the Badlands and back toward Ponyville, kicking up dust all the way.