Der Jude That Got Away

Mark pushed various branches out of his way as he continued to fight his way through the forest's grasp.

"You sure this is the right way?" James asked, looking at the lowering sun concerned.

"Fuck no." Mark said nonchalantly, continuing to march through the bushes. "We're bound to hit a road or a path at some point."

At this moment Mark noticed something, there was a body perched up against a tree in the distance. Mark ran ahead to investigate. James was to busy daydreaming to notice.

Upon reaching the body he notice that it was clad completely with a perfect SS infantry uniform with a slightly worn MP40 replica by his side; he was unconscious. Mark broke a branch of off a tree.

"Hey this guy's from the convention! I think he's hammered though!" Mark shouted back at James whilst poking the cosplayer with the stick. James jolted from his trance and jogged towards them. "I think he's waking up!" Mark shouted again. The man was stirring from his slumber. James approached with a concerned look on his face.

"-Dude?" James said.

"Ja?" Mark replied.

"His gun's fucking real-" Suddenly the soldier jumped up unsheathing a knife.

"Ach nein das ist nicht gut, die sind Sie?!" The obviously dazed soldier asked.

"Ich bin der führer's Wache! Zeigen Sie Respekt für den Führer!" Good thing James was fluent in Google Translate. The soldier shook his head in realization immediately saluting.

"Entschuldigen Sie mein Fuehrer!" He said shaken.

"Der Führer wünscht nicht zu sprechen! Führe uns auf den nächsten Basis!" James shouted back.

"Oh ja, Deutschland ist der beste!" He looked at the sun's position and started marching forward. Mark and James both waited for him to get a bit ahead before following.

"Hopefully this wacko will lead us to the convention." James said. "You guy's really take this shit seriously don't you?" Mark just shrugged.

~~~~~

"Holy shit it feels like we've been walking for ages." Mark said exhausted.

"I don't understand how this guy managed to get so far away from this place." The soldier opened up to a clearing and suddenly ducked down behind a bush. He motioned for them to come forward.

Ducking behind the bush they looked at what had the guy concerned, it was a small village.

"Oh thank fuck for that" Mark said in English to the soldier's bewilderment and got up to walk. James grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. He noticed certain landmarks of the town.

"Treehouse, carousels..." His jaw hung open, "Oh my god..."

~~~~~

A polite knock came from Celestia's chamber door.

"Hm? Come in!" She said, scribbling down something on a piece of parchment. A young servant came trotting in.

"Em, a foreign dignitary is demanding to see somepony, I think it would be wise to see to him." Suddenly a large bipedal creature clad in a dark coat burst through the door with royal guards following closely behind attempting to stop it.

"Ah guten abend. I take it you're in charge around here?" His voice was deep and highly sexual. Celestia's mouth hung agape.