The Royal 'Culero' (Asshole)

It was early morning in the great city of Canterlot, the sun was rising, the many vendors and stores opening its stores, the foals groaning for another day of school as the parents could only assure them that it sucks to be them. However from amidst the great palace that homes the Regal sisters of the Planet Celestia could only smile at the wonderful sight of her kingdom. As the day was just about to begin with raising the early sun to greet a new day... but all was interrupted as a scream was heard.

AUNNNNNNTTTTTYYYYYYY!!!!!!!............

Eyup its one of those days that someone has woken up on the wrong side of the bed. As clopping was heard running into the Royal Chamber of Princess Celestia, Celestia could only sigh as her overbearing newphew came in screaming rape as he was almost on the verge of crying like a newborn.

"AUNNTTYY!" Whined Blueblood as he skidded in front of Celestia, "I did not wake up to my early breakfast!" Screamed Blueblood angrily out of frustration.

"Where is Sun Stripe?" Blueblood whined.

"Please calm down, nephew I believe it is just a misunderstanding"

"No Aunty, it is not alright I want my early breakfast always at 8:00 before my groomers come to fix up my mane!" Blurted Blueblood as his face began to turn red from the near heart attack over a simple breakfast.

"Blueblood I insist you be patient for maybe they need to..."

"No Aunty that is not how it works! My breakfast needs to be in my chamber exactly at 8:00 no more just wait until I get my hoofs on that Sun Stri..."

A small white french maid wearing pony hurridely came coming in as she had a steaming pile of plates balanced across her back as she softly spoke.

"Forgive me your majesty but I was running late you see and my filly would just not..."

"NO Sun we agreed at 8:00 you will always come and deliver breakfast at no later and at no less, so hurry up for I am famished"

As Sun Stripe quickly hurried towards the demanding Prince, she bowed her head as she lifted off the cover of the trays to present the Royal Breakfast but as she gracefully lifted up the plated from the base of her back a firm magic held her down as she could only panick.

"Stay still Sun Stripe Since time costs money I guess I need to hurry up before my groomers come to fix up my hair"

As Blueblood finally walked to the struggling mare that unwillingly continued to hold down the plates Blueblood quickly spooned a few times at the large platter of food before tossing the spoon over the plate.

"Now be gone serf I must get ready"

"But your majesty that was so little I can assure you that you should eat some mor..."

"And what get FAT! No dear I must be in top shape for If I am ever to please the others.. oh look at the time!"

Blueblood screamed as he galloped quickly past Sun Stripe as the plates levitated off her back finally crashed over the maid as vats of syrup and cereal caked her into a humiliating form. Before she could only tear at how a mess she was and an embarrassment she was at the sight of Princess Celestia. She was quickly hushed as towels were placed over her shoulders as Celestia began to calm her down reassuring her it was an accident. However she scorned at her spoiled Nephew as her day as turned sour no thanks to Blueblood already ruining the new day for Equestria to live out its happy society.

So as Blueblood continued to hurry down the hallways of the ancient Palace he would make a note to fire Sun Stripe but before he needed to see his groomer for a another 'Long' day of being fabulous and above all the other ponies that needed his help to guide their everyday unintelligent lives. He was their prince however before that he needs to get makeup on before presenting himself to the public. So as he could only mumble across the hallways a dark figure would then pop out from the shadows as he began to curl his hands as a toothy grin began forming across his face.

"So I see that arrogant little fool is ready to start his day, I will make sure he starts the day somewhere extra sunny where he can have all the popularity across the desert he'll be a real hit!" laughed Discord as he began to remember the other day when Blubloood had 'accidentally' knocked over Discords bucket of Chocolate milk as he lazed about the Garden laughing that he hate Chocolate milk just as much as anybody who was brown and looked weird gruelingly laughed Blue Prick leaving a very angry soaked Discord as he would get back at him.

So as Blueblood continued his journey a strange feeling began to come over him before fainting as Discords levitated his fat body over to the window that would send his sorry ass over to the place Blueblood would surely get for ever coming across Discord.

"This is for my Chocolate Milk!" Kicked Discord as Blueblood fell down the never ending portal to the next world where surely they loved royalty? Nah fuck that we already hate our own President so like thats going to happen.

Modern Day D.F (Districto Federal)

As the kids were walking to the public schools in Mexico City every child accept Alexandro were casually giggling for another day in Mexico as he was running instead of going but from away from school. Behind him three big kids were in pursuit as they cursed at Alex.

"Binche Mamon ven aca cobarte!"

"Yeah where is our lunch money pendejo!"

"Where is my Takis!"

As Alexandro began losing breath accidentally tripped over a sandbox as the bullies began pound him across the sand.

"Come tierra pobre"

As the onslaught continued the little boy and girls around the yard could only watch as the bullies began to lift him Alex holding all his legs and arms open as he struggle to see through his already bruising face. They began to walk towards a swingset pole as they positioned his crotch in line with the pole.

"Ahora, I shall repeat again, where is my money" The bigger of the kids slapped Alex across the face as he could only goan from the beating he had received. So with that being said the bullies began to go back and forth as they finally heaved forwards as Alex could only scream in pain as he held his Pi Pi between his hands.

"Next time cabrone I expect you have my money also tell your mom that I did her last night" Laughed the older of the group "See you in class perdedor (loser)" as they began to walk away from the crying mess as Alex began to curse in all manner of names. So with sudden reaction he got up and ran out of the yard as he ran as far away from those bullies. So as he began to run across the open markets of the street vendors he was determined to fight the pain as music all around him blasted into his eardrums as he panicked to find an exit.

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So as he finally turned towards an alley. Exhaustion finally came as he fell over yet again another sand box only meant for cats as he began to hold his hands between his face.

"Kill me!!!" Sobbed Alex but before he could realize what he said a falling figure was coming out of the sky as he quickly moved out of the way. As the sand began to die down Alex would soon realize that what fell from the sky was not even close to a miracle. All he could say was that he saw lying there was the whitest burro he had ever seen. This would soon begin a unlikely friendship between a boy and his little burro....