The Royal 'Culero' (Asshole)

As Alex backed away from the strange animal that fell from the sky he first believed it was a sign, or another space turd from the airplanes that drop shit into the city all the time. However this bag of 'shit' was Blueblood and so Alex finally decided to take out his phone to dial Federales until he heard the thing muble in its sleep.

"Please Luna No more,... I mean it..TiaaaA.." The thing continued to breath shallow gasps of breaths.

Alex was so freaked out by this new discovery that he dropped his 300 peso ($30) phone smashing the plastic screen before turning to the nearby Virgin as he continued to make the sign.

"Dios Mio, please let me be dreaming I know it was wrong to peep into the women bathrooms but please tell me if its all a dream!"

Sadly the truth was that the whole city was a dream because everyday more morenos from around the country are moving in and with the high price of living it was hard to do anything either. Plus the Government was feeding its people shit with both the current President and 'Federales' profiting from the poor and covering the cartels movements as they continually promise the citizens a more safer and better Mexico. However it still sucks because more bodies are being shown up threatening both officials and any bystanders caught between the business of the Sinaloa Cartels and Zapatistas that dominate the crime in Mexico. So aside from that thought the most logical thing to do was bring it back home so maybe Alex could sell this white burro for half a weeks food in the market to feed his family of 7.

All of a sudden his broken phone began to ring as the song from El Chavo del 8 began to play.

"Bueno?" He Answered.

"HIJO DE TU BINCHE MADRE DONDE ESTAS CABRONE!" Yelled Guadalupe, Alex's Mom.

"Mami perdon but I just got beat up and en verdad I need to leave because I am afraid what they're going to do" a sigh was heard from the other end "Ok hijito just this once come back home, but tomomrow I expect for you to go to school like it or not."

"Si Mami." Alex responded.

"Oh Hijito, por favor pero de paso compras unas tortillas?" kindly asked my mom.

"Of course mom I'll buy the Tortillas, so I'll see you soon, I love you mama!"

"Igual mente!" So as she hung up Alex began to think how stupid it was for him to leave because now those bullies know that he was scared of them and tomorrow its going to be a bitch. So turnning back to the strange horse he decide that pulling the thing would be hard and so maybe a cart can carry this fat ass since he assumed it looked very chubby but what was really wierd It had the most weirdest branding. So as Alex took a nearby cart parked nearby, he begin to heave this mammoth creature on the back of the cart and with all the strength he finally managed to lift it up,

"Damn que lo dan de comer? Cake?"

So as he picked up a bunch of newspaper nearby, Alex begin to unfold the newspaper but what he was surprised at the article title that he first opened to.

BRONIES A WORLD PHENOMENON!

So as Alex stopped to read the article he began to learn that a weird American show calle 'My Little Pony' has made men more gay and with a crumple of the paper chucked it at a nearby trashcan. Americans were weird, they have too much time on thier hands and those lazy ass kids aren't even grateful for the things they ought to be working for. Here in Mexico jobs were becoming more difficult to land on and Schools were expensive as children can only reach until 14 and can decide to quit school and work for his family or burden his family more if he decided to continue. The city was cramped and with all the corruption made it even worse, more people were flowing in and to accomadate the new arrival would mean more would camp outside the city limits in hoped to find success in the low class range for Mexicans to survive on.

So as Alex left the alley heading towards his district he began to remember what his dad used to tell him before he died trying to reach the border.

"Son never leave the family, family is above all else and if you had the chance to protect them, you WILL protect them and care first for them never forget that."

As tears began to form in his eyes he finally had arrived to the broken down apartment that he has since been living there, luckily they lived on the first floor and as he opened the gates s flood of livestock were heard as he saw hismom cutting off the Nopales thorns preparing for dinner.

"Mama!" Alex ran to hug her as she returned the hug as she held his head in her hands kissing him on the cheek

"Hijo! Mi desoro!" Even if she was 56 moms are always your moms.

So as Alex began to embrace in the warm feelings of his mom, a loud groan was heard from the cart as a natural Horse snort was heard.

"Ahhh.. my head hurts....Aunttyyy?" As Blueblood began to wake up he looked up from the covers of where he was laying and as he  opened to see where he was he could only see an ugly sight of a filthy city street.

"OHHHHH WHEN I GET MY HOOFS ON THOSE CITY CLEANERS I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE THEM CLEAN OUT MY..." Blueblood's blood went cold as he finally saw strange creatures staring back at him.

Silence was only heard as a sudden blast of random music was heard from atop floors.

Youtube Video

"What the FUCK!" shouted Blueblood....