/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"He's back again, huh?"
The deep, gruff voice from behind the desk would've scared a normal man to death, but the seven feminine figures facing him had no will to run.
"Yes, sir," one of them said in a flat, monotone voice.
The man smiled, balancing the cigar in his mouth. He faced outside the wide bay window. The view of the village from down the mountain was awe-inspiring.
"You know what to send his way."
Each of the figures saluted.
"Yes, sir."
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
"So...what the hell is this supposed to do?" Edward asked about the huge, bulky, ridiculous looking computer Twilight had locked up in the basement. The only other living things in the basement was Spike and Owlowicious.
Twilight had been fiddling with the control panels and a few gyroscopes. She stood up and snatched a weird looking helmet with blinking red lights on it and strapped it to Edward's head. "I used this to try and explain Pinkie's Pinkie-Sense. Remember when I told you that story?" Twilight said with a grin. Edward laughed, remembering how absurd it sounded at first, until Pinkie's forearm began spazzing like she'd had too much caffine, signaling the spilling of a liquid. He remembered how stupid he felt when he, concentrating on Pinkie's arm, reached out to grab his milkshake, mistimed it, and pushed it over, spilling it all over the table.
He blushed. "Yeah, yeah, I remember," he said with an embarrassed smile.
Twilight continued, "Well, I've recalibrated some of the drives, so instead of delving into Pinkie's instincts, it'll tap into your consciousness."
Edward admired the computer for a second before he said, "What are we trying to accomplish with this research?"
"Nothing too special, just try and extract information about your Earth. That and I've always wanted to try this on somepony besides Pinkie."
Edward scoffed. "You have way too much free time."
Twilight smirked and hit a few buttons, turning the machine on. The screen lit up, showing a vast desert, with small triangles out in the distance.
Spike stared at it for a minute before asking, "What's that?"
Edward waved his finger. "Not 'what,' Spike, 'where.' That's ancient Egypt. This universe had a crazed King Tut that conquered all of Africa after suffering a leg wound that normally infected and killed him. That caused some unnecessary wars in the eighteen hundreds and the 21st century. I had to assassinate him to keep time on its predetermined course."
"Wait...you...you had to kill someone...?" Twilight stammered.
Edward looked up to the sky. "Yep. My first kill, too."
Suddenly, Twilight wasn't so sure about Edward. She thought he would only use his guns to intimidate others. But now, he had admitted to straight-up killing another being. She tried to console herself with the fact that as long as he remained friends with her and the others, he woldn't try anything crazy.
The screen shifted to a calm alpine forest.
"Hey, that looks peaceful," Spike said.
All of a sudden, men in blue uniforms started charging out of the trees as more men in grey uniforms did the same. Then, violence. Both sides started shooting each other with guns, cannons, stones when the guns ran out of bullets. They were falling by the truckload. From under the screen, an arm reached out with the same gun that Edward had. In fact, the green trenchcoat the arm had over it confirmed it was Edward. Twilight was appalled at the level of savagery the men onscreen were displaying. Spike cringed. "You know what I said before? Yeah, I take it back."
Edward shook his head. "In an alternate timeline, the Southern generals focused all their men into ambushing the Union march down the east coast. They pulled it off, and the Union was annihilated. It wasn't until 1967 that all slaves in the United States were free. It took another century for the cvil rights movement to take off."
The Edward onscreen took a couple well-placed shots, three men fell, and the everyone in grey surrendered shortly thereafter. He smiled with pride. "The only mistake they made," Edward said, "was that they needed the generals of the Confederacy to help push, too. I memorized their positions, and then, bang! Problem solved."
Twilight grimaced and turned a dial. The image that came up onscreen next was...unnerving. Twilight, Spike, and Edward could only stare in a mix of confusion and fear.
"What...what was that?" Twilight whispered nervously.
"I don't know," Edward muttered, "but we need to get the others to see this."
"So, what are we watching?" Dash asked impatiently.
"Rainbow Dash, I know you'd rather be practicing, but we think this is important," Twilight stated.
"And creepy," Spike added.
"Well, show us what y'got, sugarcube," Applejack said.
Edward and Twilight looked at each other, nodded, and Twilght turned the screen on. It came to life, showing a man with scruffy black hair, his face wrapped in shadow. The strap across his face suggested he wore an eyepatch over his left eye. Despite the appearence of a pirate, the man was dressed in a formal black suit and matching trenchcoat. He held a remote in his hand, and he clicked it. The screen developed static for a few seconds before returning to normal. The man in the suit sneered and hit the remote again. More static. The man pressed the remote with all his might, and the static grew more severe and lingered longer. Finally, in one more effort, the man slammed the button and the static enveloped the screen before it powered down.
Everyone was still trying to process what just happened when Pinkie said, "Yeesh, he gave me the heebie-jeebies!"
"It disturbs me more than you," Edward said, "Because as far as I can tell, this computer is pretty much searching my head for past encounters...and I don't remember a thing about what you just saw."
Fluttershy asked, "So, then, you...you don't know anything about the human we saw on the screen?"
Edward shook his head. Fluttershy winced.
"Maybe you don't know him, but we could try asking somepony who does," Twilight stated.
Edward was puzzled. "And who would that be?" he asked, wondering if there was another Jumper in Ponyville.
Twilight only smiled and ran upstairs and out of the library, with her friends in tow.
They came to a small shoppe in the north end of town. As they all stepped inside, they saw mechanical gadgets all over the store, laying on shelves, hanging from the ceiling; absolutely everywhere. Rarity yelped when some oil dripped onto her sleeve from a rusty circular dial hanging over a shelf.
"Twilight, why are we in this dreadful place?" she whined.
"Because I think we've got a pony in here that may know what's going on inside Edward's consciousness," she said with excitement. There then came a banging in the back of the shop, followed by a yelp of pain. Twilight whipped around in surprise, but relaxed quickly. "Speak of Celestia, that's him now," she smirked.
The group filed behind a blue curtain and found, on the other side, a stallion slumped in an armchair, rubbing his head. The off-center trophy shelf above him suggested he konked his noggin pretty hard. He was tan brown in color, his mane slicked back, and he wore a chocolate-colored trenchcoat, not dissimilar to Edward's. He opened his eyes and upon seeing the Mane Six and gathered company, he smiled sheepishly and stood up.
"Ah, hello, Twilight. Quite an unexpected surprise, seeing you here," he said in a modern English accent. He chuckled nervously. "I'm sorry you had to catch me at a bad time. You see, I dozed off during my work and Miss Rarity's scream made me...well..." he said, gazing at the broken trophy rack above his chair. Dash snickered at Rarity, who flushed red with embarrassment.
Applejack walked up to the stallion and patted him on the back. "Don' ya worry yer head off 'bout it. I'll see if Big Mac an' I can fix it later, if it makes ya feel better," she consoled him.
The stallion smiled weakly, but he looked past Applejack and noticed Edward, who had been muffling his laughter with his sleeve the whole time. Their eyes met and they studied each other over meticulously. At last, the colt tentatively inquired, "Ed...?"
"Doc...? Issat you?" Edward asked. They kept looking each other over until, both conviced of the other's appearence, laughed with joy and embraced each other in friendly hugs and slaps on the back. The others were surprised that Edward knew the resident tinkerer and ex-adventurer, Time Turner, or as he preferred to be called, Doctor Whooves.
"Wow, you actually know this guy?" Dash questioned.
Edward turned back to Rainbow after one last tight, man-hug and confirmed, "Are you kidding!? I first heard about this guy on a research station on Europa. Some scientists had spotted a UFO whizzing by Polaris that looked like a British police box. I kept going about from universe to universe catching glimpses of The Doctor here and there 'til a time paradox popped up on a planet I was exploring and sucked me in. On the other side...oh, man, it was a fucking war zone. Daleks and Cybermen at each other's throats...or, at least, if Daleks had throats...anyway, to see The Doctor is one thing, but actually fight with him..." he said looking at Doctor Whooves. "It was an honor and it was hella fun!"
Twilight was aewstruck that Edward seemed to know more about Time Turner than even she did. Pinkie piped up, "So you went jumping around space together...? Are you, like, distant cousins or something?" The Doctor laughed. "No, Pinkie, last I asked, Ed doesn't have any Time Lord genes in him." He then looked nervously at Edward and asked curiously, "Do you, Eddy...?"
Edward shook his head and chuckled. He then looked Doctor Whooves over and commented wryly, "I meant to say earlier, you look dfferent. You really let yourself go," as he poked The Doctor on the snout. "What happened?"
"It's just a chunk of antimatter hit me whilst traveling through hyperspace, causing the TARDIS to go berserk and explode, propelling me into this universe. Oh, and also got transmogrified into a colorful, talking horse," he said without pausing. Edward scratched his chin.
"So...good day?" he asked at last. The Doctor smiled naively. "Yes. Very good day."
---One long explanation later---
"Hmm...I can honestly say, I've never heard of or seen this man you're talking about," Time Turner mused after hearing of the group's troubles.
Rainbow Dash slammed the table with her hand. "Damn. I wasted my time looking at a guy we don't know anything about instead of doing flight routines," she muttered, thinking she couldn't be heard.
"Dash!" Applejack scolded. Rainbow jumped in surprise and hung her head in shame.
Edward was too worried to care about Rainbow Dash's remark. "I think..." he said finally, "that if we're going to learn anything about this mystery, we need to go..." He paused.
"Reality Jumping," he articulated for damatic effect. The girls rolled their eyes at his overly-dramatic speech, but couldn't help but be excited, all the same.
"Splendid!" The Doctor exclaimed. "If you need my guidance, I'll always be right here to-"
He was cut short by a powerful, hairy claw coming down through the roof right over their heads, sending splinters in all directions. Everyone screamed and ducked under the table. The claw groped around, obviously looking for something. Edward rasped, "The fuck is that shit!?" to Twilight. She poked her head out from under the table, but retracted again after it took a random swing in her direction.
"If my memory on species anatomy serves me correctly, it's probably a Diamond Dog," she whispered back.
"Are they evil?" Edward asked.
Spike and Rarity immediately spat out, "Yes."
Twilight glared at them and continued, "Don't listen to them. They had a bad experience with the Dogs some years back. If anything, they're more...chaotic neutral. They usually had a reason for attacking Ponyville before." She sighed. "Not very good reasons, mind you, but if the shoe fits..."
Edward wasted no time. He dashed out from under the table, keeping low to avoid the Dog's reach. He then turned around and drew the pistol from his right shoulder holster and shot the Diamond Dog in the hand. There was a high-pitched scream as blood began seeping out of the bullet hole. If that Dog learned one thing that day, it was "don't stick your hand into places you can't directly see." The claw retracted out of the ceiling and disappeared.
Everyone clambered out from under the table. "I assume it's time to put that harmony-magic you told me about yesterday to good use, eh?" he said with a grin.
Applejack stood up tall and pulled a coil of rope she had on her belt off. "Y'all better believe it," she growled. The other girls and Spike stood up and braced themselves for what the knew was going to be all-out war.
Ponyville was being decimated from savage Diamond Dog attacks. They were like cockroaches; all over the area, and utterly destroying it. They were raiding homes left and right, all in a mad search for...something.
The group got out to the center of town and studied the madness around them as best they could.
"What do you think they want from us...?" Fluttershy said in her trademark small voice.
"It better not be Rarity again or I swear, I'm gonna-" the rest of Spike's cursing never made it to anyone elses' ears over all the chaos. Twilight stared at Edward, who was just gazing at the ground with a blank expression. Inside, though, he was spitting more profanities than Spike was. Twilight half-expected him to start barking orders like a heroic general, his hair shining with the sun and billowing in the wind. And then he would call her name. "...Twilight..." he said.
"Twilight?" Edward called again. He started shaking her shoulders and to his relief, she refocused her eyes.
"Wha...?" she moaned.
"Oh, thank God. Your eyes were glazing over. We almost thought you were going to faint," he said, expressing his worry. Realizing where she was, Twilight quickly shook herself free of Edward's grasp and glanced at her friends, who were also beside themselves with concern.
She just smiled curtly and said, "Relax, I'm fine now," although she made a mental note to consult her Encyclopedia of Sicknesses and make sure she wasn't coming down with anything serious.
"Bene!" Edward exclaimed suddenly. He pivoted and snapped his fingers twice, and, from high in the heavens, a bright light shot out of the clouds. It screamed toward the gathered party, and Edward, without even looking, caught it with his index and middle finger. It was The All-Seeing Eye.
"You rang?" it asked no one in particular.
The group didn't know it, but The Eye had been tracked. One of the Diamond Dogs raiding a china shop suddenly got a whiff of what smelled like cold stone on the wind. He grinned maliciously and used his powerful back legs to propell himself up and into the air...
...and he landed with an earth-shaking *Wham!* right in front of the Mane Six. Edward took immediate action...by ordering Fluttershy and Doctor Whooves to seek out refugees and escort them outside the city limits.
"What!?" Fluttershy yelped meekly.
"Don't ask, just go," Edward commanded. "This is going to get very ugly very fast."
Fluttershy would've protested, saying she couldn't go out with other Diamond Dogs still roaming, but the thought of having blood on her hooves scared her even more. Something she never hoped to see.
Fluttershy and The Doctor ran away post haste. Edward looked at Rainbow Dash. "Listen, Dash, I know you don't fully trust me yet, but now, you have to for a few minutes," he said. Dash raised an eyebrow. Edward continued, "I want you to make some storm clouds and get some other pegasai to harass the other Diamond Dogs with thunder and lightning. Distract'em for a few minutes, that's all I'm asking."
Dash still remained skeptical of Edward, especially since he seemed to be issuing orders at random. But, then, no one else was doing anything, so...
She flew off, too. Edward looked back at the remaining ponies. He nodded, certain that they had a good capacity for damage output. He then looked back at the Diamond Dog, waiting patiently, surprisingly enough. Edward smirked and pulled another pistol out and pointed it, slowly and dramatically, at the Diamond Dog. He clicked the safety off, cracked his neck, took aim at the bastard's head, and...
"Wait!" Rarity called. Edward faced her in surprise.
"What's the matter, Rarity? From how I heard you talking earlier, I thought you'd want these abominations iced," he said with confusion.
Rarity composed herself and explained, "You're correct, dear. I loathe these creatures for what they did to me, and my little Spikey-Wikey," she glanced at Spike lovingly. Spike blushed.
"Sweetie, I'm not a hatchling anymore," he muttered.
"But I'll be blunt," Rarity continued. "They...are not very bright," she muttered. "They could be being duped into doing all this so, please, for their sake...put that deadly tool away."
Edward stared down at his gun for awhile. He begrudginly brought both out and clicked the saftey back into place.
"I don't like how they've been treating your kind," he said. "Doesn't sound very 'chaotic neutral' to me, but whatever, you've been living here longer than I have." Rarity kept her gaze fixed on Edward with caution as he placed the guns into their holsters and faced his challenger again.
"As for you..." he snarled. "I'll give you one warning: leave now, or get ready to drink a can of Whoop-Ass."
The Dog laughed. "Puny human boy. You talk less, fight more," it said gruffly.
Edward cocked his head begrudgingly and sighed, "Okay. But when I kick you into next Tuesday, don't come crying to us."
The Dog just laughed again, "Ha! I not believe in this 'Toos-day' you talk about! You have no effect on me!"
Edward leaned over to Rarity and mumbled, "Wow, you were right," incredulously. "Very well," he continued, stepping forward.
"I'll show you what a Reality Jumper is truly capable of."
With this, Edward took The Eye and held it to his forehead. He put two fingers to his temple and The Eye began to glow, brighter and brighter, until the stone tablet was gone. Instead, there was a third eye in the middle of Edward's forehad. It didn't look realistic in the slightest; it could easily be mistaken for a colored tattoo. But every time Edward blinked, the third eye did the same. It followed his eye movements.
"Allow me to explain what you just witnessed," Edward said smugly. "Even now, I am doing the Talisman Dance. By fusing my body to that eye, my abilities have powered up tenfold!"
Suddenly, the remaining ponies became very frightened. Edward seemed to be full of surprises, but his warlike--and near barbaric--demeanor never made them that good. The lightshow had, by now, attracted the attention of the rest of the Diamond Dogs. They were watching Edward in a mix of awe and bewilderment.
"You still don't scare us," one Dog snickered. Edward threw his head back and laughed mockingly. He snapped his head back down and gestured for his adversary to "bring it on."
This was something the canine gladly obliged. By pounding his ape-like arms on the ground as he ran, he came at Edward like a freight train. With all his might, he screamed and threw his fist forward feet away from Edward. The human only smirked and stood his ground as he caught the savage's fist and slowed it to a stop before it even made contact with his nose. The Diamond Dog was very confused.
Then, he was very hurt.
Edward delivered a haymaker with his opposite fist that sent the Dog reeling backward, still standing erect. His paws were digging into the dirt, and his jowls were pointed straight up. It took a couple yards before the canine finally slowed to a stop. Edward's opponent stood still for a few minutes, with his comrades holding their breath. Then he brought his head down to show a waterfall of blood cascading out of his nose, but he still retained a smile.
For a few seconds, at least, before he collapsed in a heap.
Nopony could believe their eyes. Edward had, effectively, one-shot a Diamond Dog. He brushed his fist and kissed it, and turned back to his posse. They were still staring, dumbfounded, at Edward's handiwork. He just glared at them.
"Well!? What are you waiting for, the Y2K scare!? Show me what friendship can do, already!" he screamed at them. The girls all looked at each other, nodded and ran in to the fray. Edward watched them with pride and a battle cry issued from his throat as well.
Soon, Applejack was taking on two Dogs at a time, using the rope she had as a whip and lasso, constantly tripping each one to the ground and slamming their jaws with her powerful knees. Pinkie Pie was fighting with heavy condensations of confetti crammed into her Party Cannon, used to blind the Diamond Dogs as she quickly tied such a ridiculous amount of balloons to them, they floated up, and out of the fray. She kept smiling and laughing the whole time. Rarity and Spike, working together like only lovers could, constantly brought the Diamond Dogs new kinds of pain. One move that Edward admired, out of the corner of his eye, was Rarity calling up a few blunt sapphires and letting Spike light them up with his green fire breath. Rarity then hurled them at a group of Diamond Dogs, watching them impact their chests, knocking the wind out of them, and scorching them so badly they lost the will to fight.
Like Greek fire, Edward thought as he kicked a Dog square in the chest. Then he saw Twilight do something that took his breath away.
She had a few bruises on her arms, but her spirit was far from unbroken, because when she got surrounded by a dozen or so, she concentrated her magic into her horn and rose into the air. Then, her eyes glowed neon lavender as she released a shockwave that even Edward could feel. The unlucky antagonists in her vicinity got blown to kingdom come, comedically landing on roofs, in hay bales, and street vendor stalls. If they weren't out cold from the blast, they still didn't have the willpower to get back up.
"I have to ask her to teach me how to do that," Edward muttered as he nonchalantly sucker-punched another Diamond Dog in the jaw that had come at him from out of his prehipreal vision's range.
A momentary lull in action on Twilight's side of the battlefield allowed her enough time to feast her eyes on Edward's fighting style. It was truly unique; he seemed to dance around his opponents, flipping over their heads, sliding under the legs to attack from behind, never letting his body stand still for a second. One of the moves she couldn't seem to get enough of was when Edward ran at an attacker side-on and used his kinetic energy to jump up, wrap his legs around their neck and use it as a pole to spin around on before he leaned back with his palms on the ground and throw them with his lower body, bending back up to continue his battle-waltz. He had just finished said move when he, to her astonishment, shot a golden beam of light out of his third eye straight at her. She followed its trail over her shoulder, and it nailed another Diamond Dog in the face.
"You're welcome, Twi!" he called over to her.
"...Thanks," she said in a meek voice.
Cleaning up the onslaught wasn't easy, but through sweat, blood, and tears, it got done. Every animal inside Ponyville was brought down within the hour. Spike was cut all over his face, and Applejack seemed worse off. Pinkie was blistered from toting her cannon around. Even Edward had a black eye and bloody lips. He had, to his embarrassment, tripped up a few times and left himself open. The only ones who seemed to escape savage beatings were Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, since they could fly, and weren't confronting the Diamond Dogs directly.
The group was resting on the edge of the fountain in town square, slightly cracked and broken from the warfare in the village. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had returned, but Doctor Whooves had told them that he wanted to check on his marefriend, Roseluck (he said she reminded him of one of his partners). As Fluttershy walked up to the group, she said, "Is anypony hurt badly?"
Applejack wiped some blood off her cheek. "Ah've suffered worse, sugarcube," she grunted.
Edward walked slowly up to the fountain, hand over his left eye. He clutched the side, inhaled and dunked his head under for a second before coming up, breathing heavily in relief. His third eye was missing, and the actual Eye broke the surface after him. Dash looked at her friends and told them, "I saw you fighting off all those Diamond Dogs from up there. Wish I could've been doing more, but you looked awesome all the same."
"You know, we still don't know why they're here," Pinkie realized.
"No problem," Twilight said. "We can probably just ask one, right?"
Edward shook his head and cleared his vision. When he looked back up, he saw one Diamond Dog, battered and bloody, trying to limp away unnoticed. Edward grinned and pushed off the fountian, clearing it in one jump, and he ran after the refugee. The Dog heard pounding feet behind him, looked over his shoulder and freaked out. He sprinted as fast as his broken body would allow, but unfortunately, it wasn't enough. Edward vaulted over him and held him up by his grimy shirt collar.
"I won't ask twice," Edward growled menacingly. "Why are you here, and who sent you?"
The Dog knew he was licked and spluttered, "Okay, okay! Roscoe will tell scary man, just don't hurt him, please!"
Edward cocked his gun with his free hand. "Talk," he demanded.
The canine gasped a little and struggled to adjust his position in Edward's grip. "P-pretty lady came to us. Told us to get special rock from scary man. Promised...promised us gems...and power! So much power of influence!" it choked.
"'Influence?' Does he mean...political power?" Rarity whispered.
"My rock? What rock?" Edward asked with subtle demand in his voice. The Eye floated up to eye level.
"It means me, Edward. For some reason, these animals want me," it explained. Edward stared at The Eye, worried over who might seek its power. He turned back to his hostage and throttled him a little. "What did she look like!?"
The Dog squeaked, "P-p-pretty lady w-wore fancy s-s-suit!" Edward stopped shaking his captive, let him fall to the ground, and tried to pull a couple more things out.
"Anything else? What about her physical appearance? Her body shape?" he asked disdainfully.
The Diamond Dog looked up and smiled dreamily. "Lady had round chest," he sighed. "Also had black-and-white stripes on body and hair. Was very beautiful."
"Black and white?" Twilight pondered.
"Sounds like a zebra to me," Fluttershy commented.
Applejack thought about any possible zebras they knew, and instinctively answered, "Zecora...?"
"That's what I was thinking, dear," Rarity added. "But I thought we were friends...why would she sell us out?"
"Yeah, and what's a 'round chest?' Chests aren't round, they're chest-shaped!" Pinkie exclaimed. Dash grimaced and blushed.
"Uh...Pinkie...I think he means..." she looked around and whispered something into Pinkie's ear. Pinkie immediately got the message.
"Oohh, that's what it is! Ponies say I have those. Mainly stallions, though," she said.
Edward gave the Diamond Dog a stern glare, as if daring him to try anything funny. "Well, I suppose the most logical thing we do now is find your zebra-friend and ask her if she knows anything about this whole mess," he said to the girls.
He then marched off into the open meadows beyond Ponyville as the Mane Six turned to face the Everfree Forest and trudged off. Twilight noticed Edward was going in the wrong direction and called, "Hey, silly, Zecora's hut is this way!"
Edward spun around, revealing his red cheeks, and he scurried over to rejoin the others as he said quickly, "I knew that! Onward!"
Author's Note
Guest cameo by The Doctor himself! Don't get too excited, though, because I don't think I'm gonna make him a major character. Probably just a confident for Edward. You'll know why soon enough.
I'm Here For a Reason I Forgot
The sun's warmth cast its gentle rays on Edward's face, slowly rousing him from the endless sea of unconsciousness. His eyes fluttered open, and he groaned and clutched his head. It stung. Badly. He sat up and glanced around him.
"Where...?" he mumbled.
He was sprawled in an open field. A few feet away was a bridge that hopped over a slow-running creek and not too far away from it was a small village.
Straw roofing and wooden frames. Must be in the Dark Ages, he thought. But this place looks nothing like Europe.
Then, Edward felt something heavy slide down his chest. Looking down, he saw that a stone tablet was resting there, and he was clutching it with white knuckles. He didn't know why, though. He stared at it for a few seconds in confusion, until remembering it was The All-Seeing Eye, his talisman. He smiled as he saw the center embossment glow and the stone tablet rise into the air. Suddenly, an echoing voice shot around the area that said, "Are you quite all right, Edward?
He stood up, the diamond-shaped tablet rising off his chest and hovering in midair. He grabbed his head again. "I've felt worse."
Edward turned to face the small village. Even from the outskirts, he could see small, humanoid shapes darting back and forth, carrying loads on wagons, and some were flying, actually flying high above the ground. Edward turned back to The Eye and nodded. Without hesitation, the engraved eye in the center of the tablet started shining for a few seconds before dying down and blinking once. It faced Edward and said, "That town is known as 'Ponyville.' In it are variations of the species Equus."
Edward looked up at The Eye. "'Variations?'" he repeated.
"Indeed," The Eye continued. "They are specifically ponies. However, I can see three different types: they are referred to as Earth, Unicorn, and Pegasus."
Edward continued to stare off at Ponyville. "Hostile?" he asked.
The Eye turned to its master and said, "Of this, I am not certain."
Edward remained cautious, but something deep down inside told him it would be wise to do in the long run. Deja vú? It was hard for him to tell, but something was urging him to go. So that's what Edward did.
Ponyville had seen some weird things running through town (Discord's brief reign of chaos being the finest example), but no sooner had Edward taken one step into the city limits then every head in Ponyville was turned in his direction. The fact that The Eye was floating above his shoulder was not helping. Edward shuddered. "The natives are growing restless," he mumbled.
As he strolled through town, he couldn't help but feel he had been down this path...seen that candy shop before...been in that library that was a giant, freaking tree. The Eye sensed Edward's confusion and asked, "Something troubles you, Edward?"
Edward said nothing. He scratched his chin thoughtfully and slowly sat down on a nearby bench, studying the library.
"It's just...I'm getting the craziest sense of deja vú here...I swear to God I've been here before..." He trailed off, but he laughed after awhile.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say we've been travelling too much. Being almost everywhere in the universe can really take a toll on your head, huh?"
The Eye chuckled, having been accustomed to Edward's quirky sense of humor for years now, and Edward threw his head back and relaxed on the bench. They were both silent for a long time. Finally, The Eye spoke and said, "So you will just sit here, then?"
Edward looked up at his stone companion and said, "Truth be told, I don't remember why I'm here, and I'm totally okay with that."
The Eye was about to talk again when a red, circular object came flying out of nowhere and nailed Edward in the back of the head.
"Ow!"
This action was immediately followed by childish giggling. A few school children that consisted of Snips, Snails, Rumble, and Pipsqueak had taken notice of the stranger and decided to have a little fun with him by beaning him with a bouncy ball. They never knew what hit them next.
Edward picked up the toy that had hit him. He turned back to the mischevious colts with a sly grin. When they saw this, the kids stopped laughing and stared at him curiously. Edward pounded the ball in his hands a couple times as he said, "I see you kids like to play catch. Well..."
Edward wound up like a pro baseball pitcher, and yelled, "GO LONG!"
With one swift move, he let loose a fastball that raised its immediate vicinity by a few degrees ferinheit. It screamed right past the schoolboys and was only slowed by skipping on the water of the surrounding creek. Everyone gasped in awe. Edward folded his arms and kept grinning.
Everyone was in shock. A stranger had popped out of nowhere one day, and was suddenly turning rubber toys into flaming comets of death? Something was wrong. A few Solar Guards had witnessed the whole thing and decided amongst themselves to encircle Edward if he tried anything drastic. The kids, on the other hand, were completely mistified by this newcomer, as well as curious. Rumble, despite the warnings from his peers and the guards, made his way bravely up to Edward and stuttered, "Um...s-sir? I-I'm sorry about the trouble we caused," He shivered. "But if y-you don't mind...mind my asking...how did you do that?"
Everyone there was sure Rumble would get his clock cleaned for partaking in antagonizing a very powerful individual. But Edward just smiled, bent over, put his hand on Rumble's shoulder and said, "Kid, I've spent my whole life training to be faster than a ninja, tougher than a Spartan, and smarter than Einstein, and let me tell you: it takes crazy amounts of courage to piss me off, but it takes balls to come back and apologize to my face." Edward slapped Rumble on the shoulder again and chuckled. Rumble couldn't help but laugh, too.
Applejack was at the Carousel Boutique getting new boots after her old ones had been worn beyond measure. Rarity was trying to take precise measurements, but Applejack kept squirming.
"Now, hold still, dear! This isn't going to go any faster if you keep wiggling your hoof around," Rarity scolded again.
"A-Ah can't help it if Ah'm tic-ticklish!" Applejack had to bite her lip to stop herself from having a giggle-fit.
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie kicked the door open. She had an excited look in her eyes.
"Okayokayokay, guess what, girls!?" She was on the verge of hyperventulating.
After recovering from the initial shock of Pinkie nearly busting a hole in the wall, Rarity asked, "My word, what is it, Pinkie?" trying to cover up her surprise.
"You're not gonna believe this, but there's this colt in town square, only he's not a colt, but he sounds like one, and I heard he threw a ball so hard, it almost caught on fire! Can you believe it!?" Pinkie articulated in a hurry.
Rarity turned back to her work and said, "He's just a high level unicorn. Nothing special about that."
Pinkie kept going, "Yeah, but that's the thing, he's not a unicorn!"
Rarity and Applejack whipped around to face Pinkie, believing that this story was too absurd to be true, even for her.
"Then...what is he?" Rarity asked hesitently.
Pinkie thought for a minute. "I dunno. He's, like, a pony, but not a pony." Applejack shook her head.
"That's jus' crazy talk, Pinkie. An' even if it is true, why'd y'all wanna meet him so badly?"
"It is true!" Pinkie wailed. Applejack and Rarity paid her no mind. Pinkie stared at them then stuck her lower lip out in a pouty face.
"Hmph. Alright. I wanna meet him 'cause he's got little doodads that can shoot spells, and I heard he's using them on cider bottles. He sounds like a lot of fun. But if you wanna stay here and miss out, that's fine." She ran back out the door.
"So what would you rate that story?" Rarity asked once Pinkie had left.
"Fer Pinkie? Normal, but I doubt it's true," Applejack replied.
There came a sound that peirced the air for miles around. It was a sharp stinging kind of sound followed by shattering glass. Rarity and Applejack had heard it clear as day. Applejack was in such a hurry to get out, she forgot her boots.
*Bang!*
The remains of a washed out cider bottle came to the ground in a symphony of broken glass.
"Score another one for me, gents," Edward said with a smug look on his face. He had been blasting bottles to pieces for a good long time now. He was willing to do it because the locals found his dual pistols fascinating, and he figured every shot at getting on their good side should be taken (no pun intended).
He had been doing pretty well. Thirty-two glass bottles shattered in under twenty minutes. The only reason it wasn't faster was due to the fact that it took awhile before someone could throw another jug high into the air. Edward didn't mind. He was having fun. He never got to show off his guns, at least, not to passive company. He was just about to decimate another unlucky bottle when he heard a voice in the crowd call out, "Stop!" The glass hit the ground and cracked in several places.
Edward looked over to see a mare with a purple coat push her way out of the crowd. She was a hybrid of unicorn and pegasai. Edward could already tell she was something special. The mare stood facing Edward head on for only a second before she inhaled sharply and began to walk around him and inspect him. She was touching Edward in various places all over his body, all the while gawking and muttering to herself. He couldn't catch all of it, but Edward guessed she was geeking out. Possibly.
At last, Edward said awkwardly, "Uh...can I help you?" The young mare jumped back, startled by his sudden vocal expression, but she relaxed and giggled.
"Yeah, sorry. I heard a commotion coming back from a couple errands I was supposed to run, and when I asked what was going on, someone said there was a stranger in town. I knew I should check who it might be, and when I got a glimpse of you through the crowd, I realized you were a human and kind of..." she trailed off and rubbed her neck in embarrassment. She looked back at Edward. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, by the way."
Edward reached a hand out and smiled. "Edward Philips. Adventurer, bona fide Reality Jumper, and all-around good guy."
Twilight shook firmly with Edward, but she asked, "'Reality Jumper?' What's that?"
"That, my dear, is-"
"Hey, Twilight!"
Edward was cut short by Applejack racing up to see this new face with her own eyes. When she did, she stopped short and walked up to Edward with wide eyes.
"Mother'a Celestia..." she sighed, looking him up and down.
Edward turned to Twilight and said, "Friend of yours?" Twilight nodded, but before any more questions could be asked, Pinkie Pie, being...well, Pinkie Pie, appeared out of nowhere and greeted her new friend with a loud, "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!"
Edward was not prepared for this level of absurdity, and was sent reeling. Pinkie just did what she did best: make friends with even the most unlikely of strangers.
"Oh! Sorry, did I scare you? Because if I did, that wouldn't be very helpful to make friends, and you know me, I gotta make friends! Wait, were you just surprised instead, because that's usually really good! Except bad surprises, nopony likes those," she said. Edward just stared at her for the duration of her monologue and when she was finished, he laughed and hugged her by the waist and picked her up. Pinkie laughed in surprise.
"Well, aren't you just a big bundle of heart-melting adorableness! I like you!"
He held on to her for a few more seconds before gently setting her back down. Edward turned back to Twilight. "Sorry, miss, you were saying something?" he asked.
"Yeah, you were about to explain what a Reality Jumper is?" she answered.
"Ah, so I was," Edward said. "Yes, a Reality Jumper is a nifty little job..." He looked around at the gathered masses and whispered, "But some things about it are on a need-to-know basis."
"So, then...it's top-secret?" Twilight asked.
Edward stared at her. "Hm? Oh, heavens, no. I just feel like I can trust you and your friends more. Tell you what, I'll gladly explain over a quick snack. How's that sound?"
Twilight smiled and said, "Sounds good." She walked over to Applejack and Pinkie Pie and whispered something to them. They nodded and ran off, and Twilight walked back to Edward and told him, "Follow me. We'll talk over some chocolate milkshakes."
Edward was staring after Pinkie. "Where're they going?" he asked Twilight.
"I just told them to go get the other girls," she explained. "I think they'd like to meet you, too."
"You mean you've got other friends, too?" Edward stated in disbelief. He straightened up and said plainly, "I can deal with this."
The Mane Six and Edward had settled down at a café on a small back road. Introductions were exchanged for the ponies who hadn't met Edward yet, and Twilight explained their adventures to their new friend, starting from their earliest fiasco with Nightmare Moon.
"So, let me see if I got this straight," Edward began. "Twilight was forced to come to Ponyville by her mentor, a princess, you all met each other, became buddies, and used this friendship-magic to kick ass when there was a need for it."
"I'd say you just summed it all up," Rainbow Dash said as she took a sip of her drink.
Rarity asked, "And what about you, darling? Surely, you must have some interesting backstory."
"I do, Rarity, I do," Edward confirmed. "See, I've already told you I'm a Reality Jumper, but I've held off on telling you what that is."
He motioned above his shoulder, where The Eye had been floating in silence. "See this?" he asked.
"I was just going to ask you about that," Twilight commented.
"You can call this, 'The All-Seeing Eye.' It...sees everything," he explained. "Before they get sent out, Reality Jumpers are instructed to reach into a dimensional rift and pull out a Talisman. This is the object that will guide the Jumper through their adventures. Throught the history of Reality Jumping, no two Talismans have been alike."
They all stared at The Eye, just hanging in midair. Applejack spoke up and said, "So, what else can yer fancy medallion do?"
"I possess the power to bend the dimensional walls," The Eye's echoing voice called. Everypony nearly fell off their seats from the sudden answer.
"Did I mention The Eye is also sentient?" Edward added on.
Fluttershy peered out cautiously from under the table. "Y-you could've men...mentioned it sooner," she squeaked.
Twilight stared at The Eye in amazement, then looked at Edward. "That...that's amazing!" she said breathlessly. She stood up and slowly approached Edward's Talisman. She stopped and looked at Edward with a small amount of red on her cheeks. "Can I...can I touch it?" she asked with a subtle embarrassment.
Edward grinned. "Sure. He won't bite. He's just a stone eye," he joked.
"You're very funny," The Eye stated as Twilight gingerly plucked out of the air.
Pinkie leaned over the table to get Edward's attention and called, "Hey, hey, Eddie! What does a guy like you do, exactly?"
"That is a question I'm very glad you asked, Pinkie," he replied. "To put in perspective, a Reality Jumper is like..." He thought for a minute. "It's like being a hobo, but with a higher fatality chance," he finished.
The girls were stunned to hear this answer. If being a Jumper was so dangerous, why did Edward do it?
"Why?" Edward repeated when Twilight asked him about his job choice. "Because you get the three coolest pieces if kit in existence when you sign up." He took out the pistols he was showing off before. "One is the Talisman you pick. The other two are custom tooled dual pistols. These babies have the fire rate of a Glock and the raw shredding power of a Deagle, and the best thing is: they never run out of bullets."
"But back on track, my job is pretty simple: I'm tasked with using The Eye to hopping through different dimensions, solving problems and restoring order where I can. That's pretty much the high and low of it."
"That's kinda cool," Dash said. "What do you do when you go home?"
Edward shot his head off to the side to face her. "Beg pardon?"
Rainbow Dash looked back at him questioningly. "Home. You know, where you live? What do you do to unwind?"
Edward wasted no time in saying, "I don't have a home."
Rarity nearly spat her drink out. "You what, darling?"
"Reality Jumpers spend their whole lives leaping through dimensional walls for fun and science. We're usually expected to die before age fifty. If a Jumper does mange to live past fifty, he retires by either living in the dimension he's currently in or being brought back to Earth to rot in an old-folk's home, or worse, an office job," Edward explained.
"Well, that ain't fair," Applejack remarked.
"No, it's not. But such few people have been signing up to be Jumpers that the government had to set up a breeding program to create specialized Jumpers. I'd...rather not talk about that," Edward confessed.
Everyone was silent for a minute until Pinkie Pie got up and hugged Edward. "Well, if your world isn't treating you fairly and being a big meanie, you can stay here," she stated firmly.
Edward forced a smile and tried to weasel out by saying, "That's real nice of you, Pinkie, but I'm a born drifter. I can't stay-"
He looked up at Pinkie and saw her pupils enlarged so much they could be used as mirrors. She was sniffling and probably about to cry. Edward stared at her, mistified by her extreme reaction. Something surfaced inside him again, moving him to pity.
"Oh...all right. I guess I can stay."
Pinkie's demeanor immediately began radiating happiness once again, and she regained the greatest smile in Equestria. The other girls cheered Edward on and the overall tone of their meeting regained a substantial amount of joy once more...
...Until The Eye, who had levitated out of Twilight's hands, spoke with a solid voice, one that commanded authority.
"You have chosen to stay, Edward? Good. Because now, Earth and Equestria are inexplicably intertwined..."
The group had stopped their merriment to listen in awe and fear.
"Destiny coincides with destiny...the threads of reality knit, come together, and weave a tapestry. On this tapestry, I see there is a great evil. Already, it lurks among you, waiting, waiting...waiting for the ideal moment to strike!"
It's last sentence was frought with emphasis, and it had turned to the girls and flashed its center embossment once. It soon faded and settled back down onto the table. Twilight was mortified by its sudden outburst.
"What...what was that?" she stammered.
Edward looked cross. "He has his moments of prophecy...and what he says usually comes true." He paused. "But I've never heard him speak this cryptically before."
"Should we ask it more questions?" Applejack asked. Fluttershy shook her head jerkily.
"Can't. The Eye only sees what there is, was, and can be. It's knowledge is limited, especially if it can't see its subject."
Everyone eyed him curiously. "I mean," Edward elaborated, "that The Eye can only posses substantial knowledge on an entity it has met, or can directly see. For example, it's seen you, so it could probe your minds and tell me everyting about you, if I wanted to know."
Twilight's insides churned and her violet coloration contrasted sharply with the rosy patches on her face. She squeaked involuntarily. She was glad Edward didn't notice.
"Well, that's a terrifying prospect," Rarity sighed.
Edward smiled. "Oh, relax. You're all okay in my book, I wouldn't dream of doing that to any of you."
The sun was lowering in the western sky. The atmosphere was lit up in a variety of yellows, pinks, and reds. Twilight looked out across the veranda they were situated on.
"Celestia's really outdone herself this time," she mused.
Applejack noticed too and exclaimed, "Tarnation! It's almost sundown an' we ain't decided who's gonna take Eddie in!"
Twilight turned to Applejack and said, "Calm down, Applejack. Edward's going to stay with me."
"Awww! But I thought Eddie's was gonna stay with meee!" Pinkie whined.
Not expecting this outburst, Twilight faced Pinkie and said, "Pinkie, Edward has to stay with me. I need to study him. He is a human, you know!"
"But I think he's really cool, and I wanna show him around Ponyville, and teach him how to make cupcakes, and introduce him to Pound and Pumpkin, and..."
"Pinkie, I promise I won't keep him cooped up inside the library all day. He can visit you, you know," Twilight told her calmly.
"Yeah, but...but...I..." Pinkie seemed to be struggling with finding a reason to keep Edward close, even though she couldn't figure out why.
Edward stood up and issued a proposition. "Hey, look girls, I understand both sides of this argument, but maybe, possibly, I could...I dunno...do a time-share? Stay at Twilight's library a couple days, then head over to Sugarcube Corner. How does that sound?"
Twilight thought for a minute, then nodded. "Edward's right. I feel kind of stupid arguing about that," she admitted. Pinkie looked just as ashamed and she nodded without a word as well.
Edward smiled. "Neither of you worry about it. Like I said, it's my job to help sort things out." He looked over at Pinkie and said, "Pinkie, I know this is hard for you, but if Twilight wants to study me for a couple days, I'll have to oblige her. Okay?"
Pinkie's color scheme greyed-out and she frowned. He added, "Oh, don't look so glum. Look at it like this: the faster Twilight gets done with her research, the more time we have to play, and bake treats, and do all that fun stuff!"
The thought of Edward being back soon lit Pinkie back up and she squealed gleefully and bounced away, waving to the others and yelling, "Oh, goodie! I can't wait to tell auntie and uncle all about you, Eddie! And you'll love Pound and Pumpkin! They're really cute and we're gonna have so much fun together...!" She kept calling over her shoulder until she was out of sight.
The sun was just barely peeking over the horizon, and the stars were shining in a dark lavender sky. The group had split and gone home, and Edward and Twilight we casually strolling through town square.
Edward cautiously looked around and finaly said, "She's cute."
"Who?" Twilight asked.
"Pinkie Pie. I don't think it's humanly possible for anything in the universe to be that adorable," Edward explained.
Twilight smiled. "Well, she's not human. She's a pony." Edward laughed. "True that," he said.
"You really seem to know how to talk to her," Twilight said again after some time.
"When you've been dimension-hopping as long as I have, you need to learn how to talk to strangers," Edward said.
They arrived at the library not long after. "Well, here we are," Twilight said as she pushed the door open. The library smelled of fresh paper and cinders. Their source was quickly revealed to be a young drake, busying himself rearranging books.
"Hey, Spike, I'm home!" Twilight called to the dragon.
Spike spun around in surprise and ran up to Twilight and cried, "Twilight! Where the heck were you!?"
"Sorry, Spike. I got sidetracked by a new arrival to Equestria. This is Edward," she said, gesturing to the human at the door. Spike looked at him in surprise.
"Woah! A real human!? Aren't they just myths?" Spike exclaimed.
Edward chuckled, "I'm a myth? In my world, you're all nothing but fairytales!"
Twilight explained the whole story to Spike, from the flying death-toys to the story behind the Reality Jumpers. It was dark out now, so Twilight sent Spike to bed and stayed up with Edward, asking him questions, checking the books to reality. Neither of them went to bed until past midnight.
